Age 20 - I wasn't confident, lacked social skills, really self conscious. All of that has changed.
While I'd never be able to lay out all of the knowledge and experiences I've acquired over the last 180 days, I'm going to give you my biggest breakthroughs.
This post will be pretty lengthy, but I hope it will serve you as a real example of what dedicating your life to self-improvement can do for you.
I want to begin talking about my sex life. After all, we're all here because we have lost control of it.
First, I'll discuss what this endeavor has done for my penis sensitivity, sex drive, and arousal patterns.
- Penis Sensitivity - After years of fapping 5-12x per week to pornography, my penis was wore out. The dopamine felt good, but orgasms had lost their novelty. I'd have to death grip to harness sensation and go at it rather furiously sometimes. After a couple months when I started meeting women and having sex again I couldn't cum wearing a condom and I could barely even feel blowjobs. Obviously this was embarrassing. Not only was there not enough friction but it felt like the "wrong" type of stimulation. Six months later I have no performance issues of any kind. Sex is now 20x more fulfilling than masturbation. I laugh at myself when I fap on occasion and am left a bit disappointed.
- Sex Drive - Fapping 5-12x a week obviously had my sex drive way out of control. I thought it was normal, but the truth is that I was a dopamine junkie. I'd sneak away to fap at work, at school, visiting with family, sometimes even during time with friends. It was pathetic and very sad. After months of weening myself, I only desire orgasms 1-3x a week. Granted, I'm happy to have sex a couple more times than that if things are escalating when I'm around a girl. It takes foreplay for me to reach my peak arousal now and my partners absolutely love that.
- Arousal Patterns - As any porn junkie knows, the more porn you watch, the more you need and the more hardcore porn you need to feel fully aroused. At my worst I was dabbling into occasional bestiality, frequent incest scenes, or else always another hardcore type of porn. I deplore the thought of the vast majority of that junk now. Actual vaginal sex was never too arousing for me. Oral or other types of non-vaginal sex were way more appealing. They made the woman just a pleasure-giving object. After months of "mental detox", if you will, and multiple real-life partners, I've lost my fixation to alternative types of sex. I'm actually attracted to vaginas now. Sounds funny, doesn't it? I still enjoy other types of sex on occasion, but the intimacy of being inside of a woman is second-to-none. Seriously, it's way, way more sexy now. This is obviously a win-win in real life.
Many of you are probably saying, "Good for you dude, but I can't land a woman to save my life." And that's a good point to raise. The truth is, neither could I. It took a lot of conscious effort to give myself opportunities with women.
When it came down to it, the reason I lacked any success with women was because I just didn't love myself. I wasn't confident at all, I lacked social skills, I dressed poorly, I hated my job, and was really, really self conscious. All of that has changed.
I read nearly a dozen self-help books and plan on reading dozens more. I've read a bit on fashion and am improving my appearance. I've also changed jobs to one I love and have started focusing on dating, attraction, seduction, and spirituality. If you're curious to know the material I've read and applied, I'd be happy to share it with you.
In the last six months I've had more than a half-dozen sexual partners, dated at least a dozen women, and have finally gained the confidence to approach women, ask them for their phone number, ask them for dates, and escalate sexually. I constantly push myself to be more attractive.
I've grown up in the Midwest all 20 years of my life, afraid to do anything significant with my life. I just signed a lease on an apartment and have been accepted to a college in California. I'll be there for ten months to finish my Associate's degree and continue my growth as a Man.
Also, I went from routinely getting a 2.5-3.0 GPA every semester in college to all A's and one B so far this semester. This achievement probably has the least to do with beating my porn addiction, but I think having the fire in me again has helped boost my motivation to complete my assignments, study, and focus in class.
My urge to watch porn went from a constant roar to an occasional whimper. This is not an exaggeration. Again, this is a brief overview of my progress and experiences. I'm still constantly striving to improve.
Bottom Line: Sit down and ask yourself:
- What do I want in life?
- How can I become the very best version of myself?
- Why am I feeling this way? What can I do to change this?