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Age 23 - (ED), 7 months - needed an emotional bond
Submitted by admin on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:59
I'm a 23yo man and have been battling mild to severe ED for the last year. I used to PMO once a day for as long as I can remember and it eventually started to ruin my sex performance. I couldn't get hard at all during sex and embarrassed myself with constant attempts.
I have had many opportunities to have sex with beautiful women and every single opportunity was lost due to my ED. I started thinking that I was turning gay and no longer attracted to women. I have nothing against gay people, but it was a weird thought to think I was losing my sexual attraction towards women. Especially when I was still attracted to them, just unable to have sex with them. I read up on Asexuals and thought I might have a variant of that. But NOPE, I just fucked up my brain by constantly pleasuring myself my whole life. That's when I started NoFap.
I've been doing NoFap for ~7 months now with the occasional relapse every once in a while. It took a while, but eventually I noticed improvement. I still had ED when trying to have sex, but it was slowly getting better. But it took one girl to show me how to really fix my ED.
Here's how I fixed my ED:
I met a girl last weekend. But the difference between her and everyone else I've been with is that we didn't try and have sex that first night. In fact I've seen her four times and haven't had any sex yet. I was actually really worried because I had relapsed right before I met her and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get it up. Luckily, she didn't want to have sex right away. We spent the whole night talking and making out (I enjoyed every minute of it, but didn't feel any arousal in my pants).
The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about her at work.
We went out on a date a couple days later. This time when we were making out, I started to feel some arousal in my pants. It was great, but nothing significant. Half-mast was all I got, but I also haven't received any arousal from simply making out in years. I'd always need some sort of stimulation.
Again, I couldn't stop thinking about her when she wasn't around.
We went on a third date. Still no sex, but this time when making out, I got a raging hard on! No direct stimulation required down there, just really intimate kissing. It didn't last too long, but it put a huge smile on my face to say the least!
At work the following day, I got hard just thinking about her. I haven't had that happen since Highschool. And while it would normally be embarrassing to get hard at work, I was super excited! This is when I realized my problem really is being reversed!
I had to see her the next night.
She came over and while we still didn't have sex, we got down to underwear. kissing, touching, grinding, but still no sex. And it was great!! I got harder than I have been in years. And not only was I rock hard, but it wouldn't go down. I could have kept that flag at full mast for the 4 hours your doctor advises you against!! it was truly an amazing moment for me, as simple as it was.
I still haven't had sex with her and I still have a long way to go in my recovery, but now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My advice to anyone out there with similar problems would be to take it slow. If I tried to sleep with this girl on the first night, I might never have seen her again due to failed performance. It wasn't the physical aspect I was missing, it was the emotional one. I needed to create that sexual bond with this girl before I could have sex with her (obvious, I know. But it still took me a while to realize it). It was a step I skipped with everyone else and I paid for it. I will never PMO again and I will be a better person because of it.
Thank you NoFap for changing my life around. I wish all of you good luck on your journey for self-improvement. Don't beat yourself up too hard, because you can fix yourself. I'm living proof of it!