Age 26 - (ED) 225 days: My erection is firm like steel and my libido is skyhigh
I'm a 26 year-old guy who started his porn-spree a bit later. Started watching erotic images at age 16, which was actually more hentai at the time. Started streaming videos of real sex at age 18. Why am I certain I have PIED?
Until age 18 and the end of high school, I was doing great in school, top grades, lots of friends and a girlfriend. I broke up with my girlfriend because I wanted to explore and we weren't that serious. I looked on the net for inspiration and fantasies. Found porn (worst mistake of my life) After starting porn, these things slowly but surely happened:
-Me having less and less energy to do anything. Easy chores became troublesome burdens
-Motivation at school died. Grades dropped, some days I couldn't bother to show up, even failed some of my university courses
-No motivation to keep in touch with friends and no energy to go out when they asked me. It was simply much more appealing sitting at home in front of the computer.
-More anxiety, worries, stress and lack of sleep from the above
-My anxiety was getting to the point where I couldn't have a normal engaging conversation with another person. I used to be happy and outrovert, now I could barely state my name without stumbling on words
-Porn type progressed towards more and more extreme forms. Normal soft sex scenes simply wasn't cutting it for me in the end.
-Didn't meet more than one person through this site in the end. A lot of the profiles, if not most, are fakes made to lure you into payments, which I never did fortunately.
-Everything falling apart made me really depressed and literally scared of the future to come. I did not know what to do and felt I was running out of time. Porn and masturbation was the only guarantee of pleasure and good feeling I could rely on. In the end I used it even when I was just bored (time I could've spent on fixing all these things).
I could probably list a dozen other things, but for now I will list the last and most important sign;
-When I did go out and hang with people, girls in particular, any and all interest in engaging in conversation and moving onto something more was GONE.
-The few relationships I attempted ended before they began. I had no attraction to the girl (even if she was quite pretty), I was insecure and with no confidence at all. The few times I had sex there was nothing downstairs. DEAD.
I got together with a new girl in February (this one is latina and SMOKING HOT, I kid you not!). Her dedication and patience made our sex work most of the time, plus she is very understanding and doesn't mind me using oral to make her orgasm.
Searching for a way to make it better for both of us I found this site and gained a huge ray of hope. Started my reboot immediately in early July (my gf left on vacation to her family).
HIS REBOOT STORY
So I've been away from this site for quite some time now. I said I'd make it my mission to take control of my life and fix everything that I damaged with my porn addiction. The results are following:
-Getting great grades in school, keeping up with my progress and bound to finish my thesis this year.
-About to enter a new education-related job with good pay.
-Renewed lust for traveling abroad
-In great physical shape, go to the gym regularly and exercise often.
And last but not least the two most important changes that have persisted since the official end of my last reboot:
-Interest in porn is completely gone
-My erection is firm like steel and my libido is skyhigh
I started my 90-day reboot in July 2013. I have not masturbated or orgasmed to porn since. In fact I've pretty much abandoned masturbation orgasms as well, because they always lead to the temptation of edging (and edging outside of sex without a woman to get excited to is a VERY BAD IDEA).
I'm 225 days in now, with a goal of reaching a full year without PMO.
My success has come from reading other success stories and the right kind of motivational articles, and my own effort.
The one I'd like to share today which really got me thinking is this one. Looking back on it now I couldn't agree more with it:
*****************'WARNING! MAY CONTAIN SOME VERBAL TRIGGERS*********************
The brain's reward circuits change, and the brain learns to associate watching other people have sex on a computer screen with sexual fulfillment, and ceases looking to real live women out in the real world for this
This is so VERY true! And once I read this back in my reboot, not only did I have an "Aha" moment, but in the interest of proof I even peeked into the old locked doors of porn to see how true this rang. And the best way to test this was to switch from a "voyeur" to a "performer".
So I checked out some POV (point-of view) porn, more amateur and less "acted", and guess what? NO EXCITEMENT WHATSOEVER!
It's simple; The brain has become so used to watching other people have sex from an unnatural angle (angle of the voyeur) that once you're in the act yourself looking down on your woman, you get no fulfillment. This isn't what the brain wants and is used to.
Does that mean that the very hopelessly addicted should now switch to POV porn as a little guilty pleasure? NO! Porn is an act and completely unrealistic depiction of sex regardless of how you watch it! As the article states, there's a very high chance you'll see girls around you that are far more attractive, both facially and in body, than what porngirls are.
What you need to do is picture a porn in your head like this article suggests, but with the women around you. Learn to see them as women who want to have sex with you and then see yourself in the act satisfying them.
Take it from me, I had years of all porn-no real girls, and once I started seeing real girls again and discovered my ED I never thought I'd be able to get it back up. Now I can look straight at my dick, consciously think "hopefully it will stay hard" and nothing will happen to my erection. Why? Because looking at my girl, feeling her skin and soaking in the bodily sensations turn me on to such a degree now, that it's near IMPOSSIBLE for me to lose my erection that easily.
The path is divided and as the article brutally states, you're either
1) Watching others have sex
2) Having sex yourself
We can all choose, but for those of you who choose the last and are struggling to get there now; Don't lose hope. It will happen, and it will hit you as a complete surprise.