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Age 28 - DE cured, willpower, confidence & social abilities (karezza)
Submitted by admin on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 19:15
A little background to get started. I'm 28. I have been a daily masturbator since the age of 15. I have abused porn on a regular - though not daily - basis for 9 years. The sexual problems that led me to Nofap were DE and the associated death grip. Nofap has been quite a revelation to me on so many levels. Not having had a major porn problem, I assumed the benefits would be marginal, but here is something I learnt; if you think you don't have an addiction, try stopping the activity and see what happens. In my case, a period of quite punishing withdrawal symptoms. How I imagine cold turkey from an addictive substance. This lasted for at least a month.
Something was clearly profoundly affecting me neurochemically as within a 24hr period I might experience the extremes of a kind of shimmering, exultant euphoria followed by a moribund depressive blackness. It was around the month mark that I started feeling significantly better about myself and things started falling into place effortlessly; people seemed better disposed towards me, my body language improved, I started joking around at work more and generally seeing the lighter side of life.
All this was great and more than I could have hoped for but the real take-home from Nofap for me was about willpower. I've been a 10-15 a day smoker for the past decade. Whilst drinking alcohol I used to practically chain smoke. Basically the type of smoker who'd smoke it right down to the butt and then eat the ashtray. Mentally, I was a million miles off being able to expel this habit from my life. But on day 50 of Nofap I had a realisation. Why am I engaging in behavior that in no way serves my health and happiness? That is, in effect, killing me? I kicked that bullshit habit out of my life there and then, and it was easy. What I realised was that abstaining from PMO seriously strengthens your willpower. Go ask your peers if they want to quit PMO. They will look at you incredulously like you asked them if they wanted to quit breathing. This is because quitting PMO is insanely hard and the willpower required to see it through is mind-boggling. If you have a streak of any serious amount of time then you will have strong willpower because this faculty has been utilised and developed, not unlike a conditioned muscle.
So, the exciting part of this from my point of view is idea of taking back control of your life. Before the process I always knew I was deficient in essential character, but I could never figure out why. I am personally not religious but this quote from Proverbs 25:28 illustrates my point (there is enormous wisdom in all the sacred texts, even for the non-religious):
He whose spirit is without restraint is like a city that is broken down and hath no wall.
All things considered, I have had a pretty easy life. I have grown up in the Western world in a time of unparalleled prosperity. To 99% of human beings that ever lived, the conditions of my life would be considered unfathomable luxury and privilege (even though I grew up in a lower-middle-class home in the UK). I am incredibly lucky for the background I have but it is a double-edged sword. If you subscribe to the princple of Hormetism then you will accept the idea that the human biological organism responds well to stress and deprivation, and less well to gratification and comfort. Strength training, intermittent fasting and cold showers all stress the body, inducing positive adaptation. Junk food, a sedentary lifestyle and 5 and half hours of CoD per day will weaken you and turn you into a spineless, flaccid jellyfish. For many of us, Nofap is our very first experience of deprivation. It feels uncomfortable at first but more often than not induces positive adaptation.
I finally came to the realisation that I am the one in the driving seat. I'm no longer a victim of my thoughts or bodily urges. I am the one calling the shots. I choose what I think about and how I respond to my experiences. Having suffered from anxiety and panic attacks in the past, I now see that these were just mental avenues, and now I choose not to go down them. I feel pretty fucking good.
Benefits. Not an exhaustive list by any means:
*better voice tonality (this was noticed before quitting smoking)
*improved athletic performance. Squash, specifically. (Again, observed prior to quitting smoking and commented on by others)
*increased muscle mass
*better sex. 10x better. I now practice Karezza.
*improved eye contact
*more self respect / self-acceptance
*enhanced social abilities
*more attention from women
I intend to carry on fap free for the rest of my days. This forum has been an amazing help. I have found the humour, insight and support here invalauble.
Stay strong fapstronauts!
Apologies for the wall of text!
LINK POST - 90 day report. The beginnings of self-mastery