Age 29 - 75 days, a report about my porn addiction

Background: 29 y/o male, single, not religious, addicted to extreme porn, PMO'ed 2-3 times in most days with few hours of porn. Now doing NoFap in hard mode [no PMO].

Report: It has been 75 days since last masturbation. Only thing that i can say that after day 60 urges have exploded to the new record. Really positive thing is that now I'm horny for the first time in my life. When i was on PMO i was never horny without stimulation. I always wondered how it feels when guys told that they are horny and they need to get laid.. now i know how it feels. It has been really hard to get any sleep when I'm this horny. I was expecting and hoping that horniness would happen but i didn't know that it would take over 70 days. Otherwise it has been stable ride.

For those that are interested still no wet dreams from NoFap.

About my porn addiction: I wanted to write about my porn addiction. Most people in NoFap know what it means to be porn addict but i want to share some light in to this subject. I think that people rarely write what porn addiction means to them.

There might be triggers if you are in a sensitive mood.

I believe that many non addicted people will think that porn addiction means that I'm obsessed by watching any type of porn. This is not true at all. I'm sure that people think that because i'm porn addict it means that i have seen many "famous big money porn movies". This again is not true at all. I have seen probably only 15 movies like that.

I would say that there is two parts in my porn addiction: Searching and watching. Actually i'm more addicted to searching of porn than watching it. I have become extremely selective about porn that i watch and search. When searching something that is very hard to find it starts to take a long time. I estimate that searching takes 80-90% of the time and watching 10-20%. When i find something that is hard to find i get more pleasure.

When people talk about escalation of porn, for me it means this: First i was happy to see some non nude or very soft-core pictures, then i needed more hardcore porn, then something new and more shocking. I was curious to see more and something new. In a same time i wanted to see more specific type of women, specific positions, camera angles, acts... Amount of material that was OK for me was going down a lot. Many times i just couldn't find anything new and good so i needed more genres of porn.. Even more shocking than previous. When i did this searching i was always edging at the same time.

There were moments when i tried to stop using extreme porn but i had no control for my use and relapsed even deeper than where i was.

I used many tabs simultaneously and when i found something good i opened it to another tab to wait. When i had enough of good material, i selected best scene and masturbated to ejaculation. Material that i found during searching process was zero value after ejaculation. I don't watch same video for twice, i always need something new to watch and search.

For me this process of searching and watching became something that nothing else compares. Build up and release from this is something that even normal sex doesn't compare. I remember that years ago i was thinking that sex isn't that good as porn is and it's true. Real women can't compete with porn at least when you are addicted to porn.

I believe that in a same time when watching porn felt great, other things started to feel.. Nothing. I preferred porn over many other things in life. Porn had negative effects to my life and probably more than i know.

I used porn to escape from stress, insomnia, negative feelings, relationship problems, other problems, when i was lonely or bored. Use of porn was strongly rooted to my everyday life. I hope that i can someday live without daily thinking of porn.

Future of porn? I wanted to bring this up because when i started using Internet porn about 12-13 years ago. It was hard to find any extreme pictures. I'm sure that material was there but it was more underground and very hard to find. Now it's easy to find full videos of same type of porn. I think that in a big picture, people using porn are becoming more desensitized for what they watch and extreme is considered more normal. I'm not saying that porn should be banned but it's something that i have noticed.

Thanks for reading!

LINK - 75 Days report and about my porn addiction