Porn FAQs

Porn addiction questions Welcome to our FAQ page. If you have a question, ask it below. (After registering, click on "Add new comment.") The answers are based on years of hard-won wisdom shared by recovering users, whose comments are sometimes included along with relevant research. Most questions have multiple links.

If you want to understand the underlying mechanisms and brain changes behind porn addiction and related symptoms watch Your Brain On Porn Series and Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn. 

For more details on the science, read Start here for an overview of key concepts and follow the links, or visit the Articles section.


Sexual Problems

Rebooting Basics (see rebooting)

Rebooting Challenges

Rebooting With a Partner:

Internet Porn Addiction:

Masturbation, Ejaculation, Prostate:

Odds & Ends:



 

Is my erectile dysfunction (ED) related to my porn use?

guy cringing next to keyboard"It's hard to know exactly how many young men are suffering from porn-induced ED. But it's clear that this is a new phenomenon, and it's not rare." (link)

- Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Director of Men’s Health Boston and Clinical Professor of Urology at Harvard Medical School

Update: The first published peer-reviewed study to ask about ED and porn use finds porn-induced ED. About 60% of compulsive porn users reported erectile dysfunction in this brain scan study - Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014). From the study (CSB are compulsive porn users):

CSB subjects reported that as a result of excessive use of sexually explicit materials..... experienced diminished libido or erectile function specifically in physical relationships with women (although not in relationship to the sexually explicit material) (N = 11)...

The subjects stated that porn use caused their ED. The average age was 25, yet 11 out of the 19 subjects experienced erectile dysfunction/diminished libido with partners, but not with porn.


If you have a porn-related sexual dysfunction, the problem is not in your penis - it's in your brain. First, watch these videos:

The "START HERE" covers the basics. Make sure you take Porn-related ED test. Everyone wants to know How long will it take? And finally read "HELP!" to prepare for the flatline. Read about the growing numbers of experts recognizing and treating porn-induced ED

For ED recovery stories, scroll down to Porn-Induced ED Recovery Stories. For longer more detailed stories of ED recovery see rebooting accounts. Also, here are useful tips for long rebooters.

YBOP suggests you see a competent medical professional to rule out psychological issues, dietary deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, or other organic causes.

Always keep in mind that about porn-induced ED is on a spectrum. You must judge what's right for you based on your history and current symptoms. Be flexible in your approach.

 


 

The Basics

Commonly Asked Questions

Rebooting With a Partner

YBOP Blog Posts on Porn-Induced ED

Tales of Porn-Related ED

Porn-Induced ED Recovery Stories

General Information

Articles About Masturbation

Basic Physiological Research

Porn-Induced ED in the Media


 

Porn-Induced ED in the Media: Primarily Experts

  1. Study: Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014)
  2. Study: Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn (2014)
  3. Studies: PDF of a lecture by urology professor Carlo Foresta (2014)
  4. Too Much Internet Porn May Cause Impotence, urology professor Carlo Foresta (2011)
  5. The Dr. Oz Show addresess Porn-induced ED (2013)
  6. YBOP review of "The New Naked" by urologist Harry Fisch, MD (2014)
  7. Behind the documentary: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction, Global News Canada (2014)
  8. 'Generation X-Rated' (Porn-Induced ED) - Urologist Abraham Morgentaler (2014)
  9. Porn causing erectile dysfunction in young men, by Global News Canada (2014)
  10. LIVE BLOG: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Gabe Deem)
  11. Watching porn can cause male sexual dysfunction. Urologists David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza (2014)
  12. Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction, by Urologist James Elist, F.A.C.S., F.I.C.S. (2013)
  13. Pornography & Erectile Dysfunction, by Lawrence A. Smiley M.D. (2013)
  14. Urologist Andrew Kramer discusses ED - including porn-induced ED (2013)
  15. Looking at porn on the internet could ruin your sex life, doctor says. Harry Fisch, MD (2014)
  16. Do You Masturbate Too Much? Urologist Tobias Köhler, Therapist Dan Drake (2014)
  17. Too Much Porn Contributing to ED: Urologist Fawad Zafar (2014)
  18. Porning too much? by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W. (2012)
  19. Does Porn Contribute to ED? by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters (2012)
  20. Is Porn Destroying Your Sex Life? By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S (2013)
  21. Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect, by Ian Kerner PhD. (2013)
  22. Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry (2013)
  23. Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo on porn-induced ED (2013)
  24. Men who watch too much porn can't get it up, warns Manchester sex therapist (2014)
  25. What causes erectile dysfunction?, Dr. Lohit K, M.D (2014)
  26. Radio Show: Young Psychiatrist Discusses His Porn-induced ED (2013)
  27. Video by MD: Causes of ED in young men - includes Internet porn (2013)
  28. Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Johns Hopkins sexologist dicusses porn-induced sexual dysfunctions (2013)
  29. Why A Sex Therapist Worries About Teens Viewing Internet Porn, by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod (2013)
  30. Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood? by sexologist Maryline Décarie, M.A. (2013)
  31. 'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed: Dr Deepak Jumani, Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire (2013)
  32. Need porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again, Alexandra Katehakis MFT, CSAT-S (2013)
  33. Just Can't Get It Up: ZDoggMD.com (2013)
  34. Time-out cures man of Internet porn addiction & ED: CBS video, Dr. Elaine Brady (2013)
  35. Seven Sharp with Caroline Cranshaw - The damage caused by internet porn addiction (2013)
  36. Suffering from ED? This Reason May Surprise You, by Michael S Kaplan, MD (2014)
  37. Reality is not enough exciting (Swedish), psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson. urologist Stefan Arver, psychotherapist Inger Björklund
  38. Why porn and masturbation can be too much of a good thing, Dr. Elizabeth Waterman (2013)
  39. Dan Savage answers question about porn-induced ED (12-2013)
  40. Urologist: Pornography can cause erectile dysfunction for young men (2012)
  41. Erection problems from too much porn - Swedish (2013)
  42. Internet porn wrecking conjugal ties in India (Porn-induced ED), Dr. Narayana Reddy (2013)
  43. Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish (2013)
  44. Middleburry College physician sees rise in ED - blames porn (2012)
  45. Sexual Dysfunction: The Escalating Price of Abusing Porn (2012)
  46. "Addicted to Viagra: They should be at their most virile, but a growing number of young men can’t cope without those little blue pills" (2012)
  47. Erectile dysfunction increases among young men, sex therapist Brandy Engler, PhD
  48. Is porn addiction on the rise in Bangalore? (2014)
  49. Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk (2012)
  50. He’s Just Not That Into Anyone, By Davy Rothbart (2011)
  51. Did porn warp me forever? Salon.com (2013)
  52. Has Porn Ruined Our Sex Lives Forever? The Daily Dose. (2014)
  53. The Young Turks discuss porn-induced ED (2011)
  54. How porn is destroying modern sex lives: Feminist writer Naomi Wolf has an unsettling explanation for why Britons are having less sex(2013)

"Addicted to Viagra: They should be at their most virile, but a growing number of young men can’t cope without those little blue pills"

disgruntled couple in bedBy Tanith Carey

To the casual observer, bachelor Daniel Atkinson looks like any other healthy, athletic young man in the prime of his life. 

Six foot tall with chiselled cheekbones and a trim physique, Daniel admits he never has any difficulty attracting the opposite sex.

But Daniel, 32, has a very intimate secret. When he wants to have sex with a woman, he needs up to two Viagra pills to perform.

Intimidated: Young men are becoming increasingly nervous of today's confident, self-assured women

The blue tablets, which are available on the NHS, have long been viewed as essential medication for men in their 50s, 60s and beyond.

But Daniel is one of a growing number of young males turning to the drug due to performance anxiety, triggered by a host of psychological issues from the proliferation of porn on the internet making ‘normal’ sex seem boring, to financial pressures.

Viagra was even blamed for its part in the suicide of a 24-year-old writer earlier this year, after his girlfriend discovered he was secretly using it.

James Andrews’s body was found on a railway line between Bristol and Bath on Valentine’s Day. An inquest into his death revealed how he’d rowed with girlfriend Eleanor Sharpe — a ballet dancer who appeared in the Olympic closing ceremony — over his use of the drug, despite the pair enjoying a ‘normal physical relationship’

Daniel, now an entertainment promoter, was just 20 and on a weekend with friends in Amsterdam when he took his first pill. It was supplied to him by a friend, after he had picked up a girl.

Even though he had never had erectile problems, he was so impressed by the extra stamina it gave him he continued to take the drug with subsequent girlfriends. 

On two occasions, he was even prescribed it by his GP, albeit with warnings about the long-term effects such as blue-tinged vision, heart problems and hearing loss.

Now Daniel says he always has a stockpile of the drug — on which he says he spends up to £1,000 a year — either by consulting private doctors or by picking up supplies when he travels to Spain for work.

‘The doctors there will prescribe them to you on the spot. Then you go to the chemist and get a supply. There’s always English people queueing who are after the same thing.’

Yet Daniel, who lives in London, is in despair over his reliance on the drug: 

He says: ‘I diet, I exercise at the gym regularly and I am almost as fit as I was when I was a teenager. I love the company of women and always have. But now I am in my 30s, I have been exposed to so much sex, I sometimes find it hard to do without Viagra.

Viagra         

 Pills: Many men have turned to Viagra to boost their confidence but results aren't always as expected

 WHO KNEW?

More than 70 per cent of male internet users aged 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month

‘No matter how I’m feeling, what’s going through my head, or how attracted to the woman I’m with, it makes no difference. Now, if I know I’m due to see a woman, I discreetly take two pills beforehand.’

By taking up to six tablets a week, Daniel is aware of the health risks.

'Young men addicted to Viagra' Daniel Harris from Shenley, Herts      

 Performance anxiety: Daniel relies on Viagra

The drug contains sildenafil citrate and works by improving blood flow in the penis. Daniel admits he sometimes experiences ringing in his ears. But despite the dangers, he feels as a single man he has little choice. 

‘I know it’s bad for my health,’ he says. ‘I can hear my heart palpitating when I take the tablets, and I come out in cold sweats. Sometimes the beating is so loud, I think I am going to have a heart attack. I need some help to stop.’

So why is a drug, once linked to greying, paunchy men past their prime, now taking over the sex lives of the young and seemingly virile?

What’s more, what does it say about our sexualised society where even the natural prowess of youth is not enough for the young men of today?

Harley Street psychosexual counsellor Raymond Francis says he sees about 15 men a month who feel dependent on Viagra. The average age is about 32 — his youngest client is just 27.

But Raymond, who is based at the Apex Practice, says: ‘I think this is just a small sample of the problem. These men don’t have any physical problems that would cause erectile difficulties. Instead they feel they need it because they are putting too many expectations on themselves — based on what they believe women want in the bedroom.’

In many cases, Raymond says his male patients have been influenced by seeing internet pornography from a young age. ‘Sometimes these men will have deeply embedded and unrealistic expectations of the women they want to have sex with — or what they should be able to do.’ 

One such patient is Sam, 31, who was dependent on the drug throughout much of his 20s before he sought help two years ago. 

Sam places the root of his problem on internet porn, which he says he started viewing when he was 12 — long before he lost his virginity. ‘Seeing all these studs going for hours on end seemed to underline what I couldn’t do,’ he says.

‘I felt so ashamed. I once mentioned it to my GP but he was very unsympathetic so I never dared bring the subject up again with anyone. I started ordering them on the web, even though I was never sure what I was getting.’

But though Sam found the drugs nearly always helped him perform, ultimately they became a barrier to him finding a long-term, intimate relationship.

Sam says: ‘When I had a girlfriend, I’d take Viagra first thing in the morning, so I’d get the sex over and done with under controlled conditions.’

Man secretly looking at pornography on laptop.      The curse of porn: Internet porn has left many men worrying about their stamina and sexual prowess    

Keeping his reliance on the drug secret, however, placed unbearable pressure on relationships: ‘It meant I could never fully commit emotionally because I couldn’t be honest about this most basic thing. My relationships never got off the ground. It was all getting so stressful I started avoiding sex. The women I met seemed so confident, I felt I couldn’t live up to what they wanted. I felt like a failure.’

It was when Sam fell in love with his new partner Emily after they met at a party that he realised he needed help.

‘The first time we slept together, I took it secretly, but the expectations were high because she was so special to me. So that time, even Viagra didn’t work. I could see she was worried and upset it was her fault, so I decided I had to be candid — and told her everything.’

Sam now has a normal sexual relationship with his partner. ‘It took six months of counselling, but thanks to her, I found the courage to look at the underlying issues.’

Raymond says another common thing is men reporting they feel intimidated by the sexual confidence and demands of modern young women.

‘Women are now so empowered,’ says Raymond. ‘They feel they have as much right as men to dictate the pace sexually. We are not just talking about girls who would once have been seen as promiscuous. 

‘These days a professional career woman who has been brought up in a culture of success wants to exercise that freedom and strength in her sex life, too.

‘In just one or two generations, there has been a turnaround. Before, it was always the expectation that the man was the predator. Now ladette culture has turned that on its head. Faced with this pressure, young men bring performance fears to the bedroom long before any sex takes place.’

One such sexually confident woman is Nicola, an attractive finance worker in her late 20s who admits it was partly the sexual demands she put on her partner which helped trigger the anxieties that contributed to his impotence.

‘When the sex wasn’t great, I was honest about how frustrated I was from the outset, which made the problem worse,’ she says. 

‘We tried Viagra, but it felt like a planned event. So now I don’t want him to tell me if he’s taken it or not. I just want to think the sex was naturally great.’

Nicola says her attitude to sex is typical of her generation, and many of her girlfriends are reporting similar problems in the bedroom.

Confident modern women    Modern: Women today know what they want in bed - and for many young men, that's terrifying    

She says: ‘Women our age probably do have more of a sexual past. I’ve had 15 partners, while my partner’s only had five, so that’s another layer of pressure on him. Because I’m quite skilled sexually, he probably wonders where I learned it from and how he compares.’

Another reason male patients in their 30s turn to Viagra is the pressure on them to produce babies within a strict timeframe.

Raymond says: ‘These are men in conventional partnerships where the woman has chosen to defer birth until her career is established and then finds it difficult to get pregnant.

‘These men feel pressured to perform at a prescribed time and the sex becomes mechanistic, rather than borne out of passion and desire. The pressure on the man becomes horrific and he feels he needs to have Viagra up his sleeve.’ 

The NHS spends around £58 million a year handing out more than £17 million repeat prescriptions for impotence drugs.

At the moment, only men with health conditions — prostate cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis or kidney failure — that are known to reduce their sex drive are supposed to get them for free, though many psychosexual counsellors say it is being given to younger men with no physical reasons for impotence.

Managers at several NHS trusts are encouraging doctors to limit the number of tablets handed out to cut costs.

As the drug’s manufacturer Pfizer points out, the drug should be taken only with a prescription from a healthcare professional and used according to the guidance on the label. It says studies have found it is not physically addictive. But even if the addiction is all in the mind, there is no doubt the drug is distorting lives. 

Over the past six years, Janice Hiller, a clinical psychologist who heads the Sexual Health Psychological Services team at Goodmayes Hospital in Essex, says she has seen an increase in the number of male patients dependent on Viagra. Her youngest patient has been 22.

Janice blames the trend on an increasingly sexualised society and the unrealistic expectations raised by the internet.

She says: ‘Young men feel women expect sex very early on in a relationship, perhaps on the first or second date, and that creates performance anxiety if they are not really confident.

‘After they have been exposed to a lot of internet porn, the major stimulus for men can become the pornographic image rather than the girl they are with. That can be damaging. These images go round in their heads and they then cannot become aroused with a real girl.

‘Usually men seek help when they meet a woman they really like and are desperate for it to work. In those cases, we have to talk about how the length of a sex session is not the most important thing for women, and how they really want all sorts of other things in a relationship, too.’

For married couples, the discovery that a husband is secretly taking Viagra can also be devastating, says Janice. 

‘Women who do find out often feel they have become unattractive to their partners,’ she says.

‘Viagra is enormously helpful if used in a managed, thoughtful way among those who need it. But in younger men it does not solve a problem. More often than not it adds a new level of anxiety.’

Chartered Clinical Psychologist Dr Abigael San, who has treated patients caught in a circle of Viagra use, says: ‘These younger men believe they are only satisfying a woman because they are using the drug. The solution becomes the problem.’

The taboo around Viagra use among young men is so great that despite the embarrassment factor, Daniel is speaking up because he feels it’s time the issue was more openly discussed.

‘I am not ashamed of my dependence — I know so many guys my age with the same issues who started off using it recreationally and now find it hard to stop.

‘I think many of us wish we’d never taken it that first time. I, for one, would love to be free of it.’

The Apex Practice: 020 7467 8536, theapexpractice.org. Some names have been changed.

"I can't orgasm during sex, only masturbation"

Guardian - Sex adviceComments: First notice that neither the man asking the question, nor the expert answering it mention Internet porn. Second, notice that several comments (also included below) believe porn use is the cause. One woman's boyfriend had porn-induced ED and still has residual delayed ejaculation.


I can't orgasm during sex, only masturbation

I am a healthy man but I am unable to orgasm after 20 minutes of vaginal sex, so I give up. Am I missing out?

QUESTION:

I'm a healthy 32-year-old man, but am unable to orgasm through vaginal sex. I could probably get there eventually, but usually give up after 15-20 minutes, though I'm capable of reaching orgasm while masturbating. I know sex shouldn't be goal-orientated, but I feel I'm missing out.

ANSWER:

Self-pleasuring as a youngster is an important sexual step; a way of learning how your body works. However, sometimes a person's masturbating style is one that does not easily bridge to partner sex. For example, if a man gets used to a very rough style of masturbation, no vagina will provide the necessary level of friction. Consider your self-pleasuring style – might you need to practise a different type of stroke or pressure that could be more conducive to a vaginal climax?

Another obstacle to orgasming during intercourse can be lack of focus. Some people are easily distracted, and this interferes with the sexual response. Consider if intrusive thoughts or feelings are getting in the way, and if so, try to focus solely on sensation and the giving and receiving of pleasure.

An underlying fear of pregnancy, disease or loss of control can also be detrimental to satisfying intercourse. But since you enjoy your sex life, I'm not sure you are really "missing out". The more you worry about it, the less likely you are to climax the way you wish.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to <a href="http://yourbrainonporn.com/%3Ca%20href%3D"mailto:private.lives@guardian.co.uk">mailto:private.lives@guardian.co.uk">private.lives@guardian.co.uk</a> (please don't send attachments).


ONE COMMENT THREAD:

xtrapnel

The odds are that you're wanking to porn too much. If you Google "your brain on porn" you'll see that many men who use "too much" internet porn are having difficulties with real life sex. Note, this post is NOT a judgement on the morality of porn or wanking, and neither is that site. There is much useful info on there which can help you get your mojo back.

The best of luck.

BlughGrant to xtrapnel

I googled what you suggested, and the result was both informative and potentially very useful. Genuine thanks!

cbr600 to xtrapnel

Very good advice.

Dunnyboy to xtrapnel

The fact that so many people (presumably men), have recommended your post just goes to show many men have already already been there and taken the advice on board.

petgaijin to xtrapnel

Forgive me, great advice but googling 'Porn on the Brain' would work too. That's the title of that Channel 4 documentary from last year.

bobbymac1956 to xtrapnel

If he's wanking too much then he should not be googling porn anyway .

Dunnyboy to xtrapnel

It's quite interesting really. Men pass around links to these kind of sites in IMs and emails, and usually get a "thanks, best advice ever" reply from their friends a few weeks later, but naturally they never post them on their Facebook profile. There should be a CiF article on it.

petgaijin to bobbymac1956

No,no! There's a lot of evidence out now that masturbating to porn can become an addiction the same as heroin, etc. And one of the search term/s for now anyway is, 'your brain on porn'...maybe hinting at 'your brain on drugs' and 'porn on the brain' possibly after that documentary.

That said, evidence-proven medical and many, many examples of anecdotal evidence would completely agree with you.

raerae25 to xtrapnel

I wondered this.

My boyfriend of over two years had erectile dysfunction when I met him. I discovered that at his zenith he would masturbate to pornography about 9 times per day.

After some discussion - and at the risk of me looking like a jealous girlfriend - I convinced him to pack it in. After a few months he was able to obtain an erection for intercourse. However he still occasionally turns to porn and he can only very, very occasionally (about 4 times in our relationship) orgasm during intercourse. To orgasm he needs to masturbate with an image at a distance.

This Ted Talk illustrates this problem.

Obviously this is not necessarily the writer's problem, but considering the deal of discussion currently surrounding the connection between regular internet porn use and erectile/ sexual dysfunctions I find it strange that Pamela doesn't mention it as a possibility.

It is probably, as you infer in your comment, that folks are very afraid of coming across as positively Victorian if they criticise or even question the pornocopia.

elmondo2012 to xtrapnel

Agreed - Your brain on porn: Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn.

whitworthflange to xtrapnel

You're just tossing that off aren't you? How the hell do you know what his internet habits are?

raerae25 to whitworthflange

The writer of said comment is simply making a plausible suggestion, not administering a fact.

A large percentage of men (and a lesser but still substantial percentage of women) watch porn on a regular basis. Social scientists and neuroscientists are getting to grips with evidence of potential effects of this. Not to be moralistic, but one such effect is erectile dysfunction and problems with sexual intercourse based on a number of factors.

Considering this, it seems plausible given this climate that the original writer MIGHT have this problem.
Many men I have spoken to who do, don't consider porn as being potentially one of the reasons they struggle with sexual intercourse because these days, arguably, it is taken as a 'given' that men watch porn and that is, that arbitrary word, 'normal', hence not problematic or potentially damaging.

'Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction' by Urologist James Elist, F.A.C.S., F.I.C.S.

Dr. Elist - urologist“Being in private practice for more than 30 years now, I have seen, diagnosed, and treated many men with erectile dysfunction. While erectile dysfunction (ED) used to be an “old guy’s issue”, in the recent times it seems as if more and more younger men are complaining of erectile issues and seek treatment for the problem”, says James Elist, MD, FACS, a Beverly Hills urologist.

I had been approached by a local paper asking for reasons of ED and treatment options (the above is an outtake of the interview). Indeed, more younger men than before visit us asking for solutions, and I have noticed that more men in their early and late 30′s are using supplements for better erections. Now, why is that so?

Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction Correlation in Reports:

A recent study measuring the severity of ED in men seeking help revealed that 48 percent of young Italians had severe ED as compared with only 40 percent of those over 40. The younger guys were healthier, thinner and had higher testosterone. Another study from 2012 found that 30 percent of young men were experiencing some degree of ED.

The data is very alarming when compared to the Kinsey study published in 1949: based on the detailed interview of 12,000 males, stratified for age, education and occupation indicated an increasing rate of impotence with age. Its prevalence was cited as less than 1 percent in men under 19 years of age, 3 percent of men less than 45 years, 7 percent less than 55 years and 25 percent by the age of 75 years. Based on this study, ED in younger than 40 year olds was not even a real issue back then.
The data rang the bell to ask the question why? What has changed when comparing now and then?

Raising Alarm on Porn and Erectile Dysfunction:

One main reason seems to be the easy access to streaming Internet porn, but how could we relate porn and erectile dysfunction? Indeed, many US based urologists and psychologist raised the alarm about addiction to interned and erectile dysfunction in young men. In fact, the number of 20 and 30 year old using Viagra and co. has increased over the last few years, observed in my office but also in the many internet forums with guys reporting their problems and their dependency on erectile dysfunction drugs.

Some would probably say: What’s the problem if it works? Well, if it was that easy of a solution, nobody would be concerned at all, right? Fact is that the early use of erectile dysfunction drugs does not only cause a psychological dependency, but also a habitual response from the body with overtime decreased response and no effects at all over time. Young guys using erectile dysfunction drugs do not only harm their sexual behavior psychologically, but also negatively affect their bodies physiologically. The solution seems to be again in preventative measures rather than treatment. And a behavioral change seems to be the first and most appropriate step towards recovery. The good news is that when men give up Internet porn use, their sexual dysfunctions generally reverse themselves. Some need months, however young men require more time to achieve normal sexual functioning than older men.

Addiction to Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction:

In order to stress the severity of porn consumption and its effects on early onset ED we need to consider all possible factors causing ED.

Another possible cause for early onset ED seems to be recreational activities young men engage in like smoking, drug and alcohol abuse. However, such habits cause cumulative problems over many years. These elements seem to be another reasonable explanation as young men generally lack all the risk factors for ED such as vascular deterioration or other diseases that tend to cause ED in older men. However, smoking in young men is at an all time low, and drug use and binge drinking have also dropped in young adults.

One other factor affecting early onset ED might be mental health problems which include substance abuse and addiction. Addiction can sometimes cause symptoms that mimic other mental health disorders: concentration trouble, mood swings, anxiety, sleep disorders, depression, decreased pleasure response, etc.

Addiction to Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction Treatment:

As observed in the above statement, recreational drugs, smoking, and mental health seem, compared to internet porn consumption, to be making up rather the smaller portion of elements being responsible for early onset ED.

Last but not least, what is the solution for porn induced ED in young male population?

Withdrawal and cutting porn consumption seems to be the most effective way for regaining the proper sexual function. If you or your partner is able to achieve an erection and ejaculate when watching a porn, but is not able to do so when having sex, you should be concerned about porn induced young onset ED. Cutting porn is the best way, but may take months and sometimes even more to show effects. Regardless of age and duration, if you have noticed any of the above, it is time for you to turn off the PC and possibly think about seeing a counselor for evaluation and advice.

Link to original article

 

'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed: Dr Deepak Jumani, Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire

'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed

Lisa Antao, TNN Sep 5, 2013,

It's a known fact that most men watch porn. But are you one of those guys who regularly get their dose of viewing adult material on the internet?

And in doing so, have you become sort of a global citizen in the world of porn? If yes, then you could be heading for trouble, especially if you're under the impression that viewing things people do in videos can actually make you better in the sack. According to a research study, watching online porn can affect men's performance in the bedroom.

The findings of the study states that exposure to porn is desensitising young men to such an extent that they are unable to get excited by ordinary sexual activities. This is the result of over stimulation of dopamine (a neurotransmitter that activates the pleasure centre in the brain) on a continuous basis by watching pornography. In the process, a paradoxical effect gets generated whereby the brain loses its ability to respond to normal levels of dopamine when it gets used to a higher spike of dopamine. This means that individuals need experiences of an extreme nature to get sexually aroused.

Let's cite the case of 31-year-old Abhinav Varma (name changed), an IT professional who's totally hooked on to watching porn online and has been married since the past four years. "Like most regular guys, I too have been watching porn since I was a teenager. However, with the passage of time there's such easy availability of a variety of porn on the internet to suit everybody's tastes. In fact, I prefer watching porn than having sex with my wife," he confesses. Varma and his wife are seeking marital counselling as a result of his addiction to viewing porn.

Sexologist Dr Deepak Jumani agrees with the study saying, "There is an increase in the number of such cases as online pornography is highly popular and exciting because its accessible, affordable and anonymous. In fact, today we live in a sexually saturated society and we are exposed to tons of information, much of which is distorted." He opines that pornography reduces one's sexual currency in terms of pleasure and romance.

Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire, who has also encountered many such cases in his practice, says, "What is shown in porn is not natural sex. These are actions according to picturisation and titillation, and doing the same produces a lot of discomfort and failure. Especially in the initial days, this can be very devastating on sexual relationships."

As for treatment, Dr Gambhire suggests desensitising the patient, i.e. staying away from porn. Counselling and sometimes medicines too are prescribed.

Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Johns Hopkins sexologist dicusses porn-induced sexual dysfunctions

A podcast with a fenmale sexologist interviewing a pretty well known male sexologist - Chris Kraft, Ph.D. Sexual dysfunctions seem to be his forte. The first part of the show is a lot like other shows on men and ED. The sexologists suggest that men today may be experiencing higher rates of ED because women are now more "powerful", or it's more stressful, or the economy. Suddenly, the show does a 180 degree turn, and he says a main cause of ED and other sexual issues is Internet porn. This start at 25:00 minutes.

Then he say's its happening in younger men. It's an "emerging" problem due to access to internet porn. The female sexologist who is interviewing him says that "we see 14 and 15 year olds are coming in and saying they can't get turned on by real girls". It is like 2 completely different interviews.

  • 25:00 - 27:30 - porn can cause ED, DE, loss of sexual interest.
  • Commercial
  • 30:30 - 42:20 - continues with porn and hook up culture and college, and affects on relationships and sexuality. Pretty good.

SHOW: Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Observations of a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Sexual Trend Behaviors in College Age Demographic

Link to page

Description of radio show below:


Wednesday 9th of January 2013

Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Observations of a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Sexual Trend Behaviors in College Age Demographic

My guest is a long time colleague and friend. Dr. Chris Kraft and I are currently on the Leadership Council for Program in Human Sexuality at U of Minnesota. Chris is a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist specially trained to achieve pragmatic and solution-oriented results for couples and individuals. His goal is to improve each person's happiness as it relates to their sexual intimacy, expression and identity.

Dr. Kraft specializes in the evaluation and treatment of all sexual and gender conditions: low sexual desire, erection, orgasm and arousal difficulties, genital pain conditions, sexual addiction and compulsivity, internet pornography, marital infidelity, sexual orientation, cross dressing, gender concerns, and other unique fetishes and sexual attractions.

Dr. Kraft is the co director of clinical services and instructor at the Sexual Behaviors Consultation Unit in the Department of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. Dr. Kraft is also a part-time Lecturer in the Psychological and Brain Sciences Department at the Johns Hopkins University where he teaches two human sexuality courses.

So we're going to look at what he sees from a therapist's standpoint is new in sexual compulsivity, internet pornography treatment...can it be 'cured'? Any new fetishes becoming more common place? And his unique position of teaching 2 different classes in Human Sexuality.

 

 

 

 

Dan Savage answers question about porn-induced ED (12-2013)

Dan savage answers a question about porn-induced ED on his podcast. The segment runs from 27:05 to 32:03. Surprisingly, Savage is open to the possibility of Internet porn causing ED. Maybe this isn't the first time he's been asked about it.

Episode 373 Season 16 posted December 17, 2013

 


 

Do You Masturbate Too Much? Urologist Tobias Köhler, Therapist Dan Drake

See when spanking the monkey becomes a serious problem

By Markham Heid, July 16, 2014

What’s your number? Whether you masturbate twice a week or twice a day, you probably have a set figure in your head when it comes to your favorite pastime. Match or exceed that mark, and you start wondering whether you’re doing it too much. 

Here’s the good news: There’s no magic number when it comes to a healthy masturbation habit, says Dan Drake, a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical counselor. “However often you masturbate, it’s not a problem until it starts affecting your life in negative ways,” Drake explains.

So when does a harmless exercise turn into a harmful addiction? Here are the physical and psychological symptoms that may indicate you need to holster your hand and give your boner an extended breather.

You’re hurting yourself. Yes, some guys beat off to the point of injury, says Tobias Köhler, M.D., a urologist at Southern Illinois University. That injury could be something as mild as skin chaffing, or a more serious condition like Peyronie’s disease—a buildup of plaque in the shaft of your penis that can result from using too much pressure while stroking it, Dr. Köhler explains. (Basically, you can choke your chicken too hard.) If you’re hurting yourself, you need to cut back, he warns.

It’s affecting your relationships or your job. Maybe you stay in on Friday nights to flog instead of meeting up with friends. Or you’ve been late to meetings because you were giving yourself a hand in the men’s room. If you find your habit is harming your social life or your job—or preventing you from getting out and finding a partner—those are signs you need to adjust your routine, Drake says.

You have problems ejaculating. Some guys who masturbate a lot using specific types of stimuli—say, certain categories of porn coupled with specific hand movements—find that they can’t recreate the same type of excitement during sex, Dr. Köhler explains. Basically, rubbing it out teaches your brain and body to get off only in response to your solo act, and you experience problems getting it up or finishing with a real-life partner. “If that happens, you have a problem that needs to be addressed,” says Dr. Köhler.

You can’t stop thinking about it. If you often feel distracted by thoughts of when or how you’re going to yank it next, that’s a strong indication you're dealing with a serious behavior, Drake says.

You’ve tried to cut back, but you’ve failed. “One of the major criteria of any type of addiction is a loss of control,” Drake explains. Just like a problem smoker or gambler, if you can’t manage to curb your habit when you recognize it’s out of control, that’s an issue.  

On top of all this, there are some times when masturbating just isn’t a great idea. For example, Dr. Köhler and his colleagues have found that diddling every day for 2 weeks depletes a man’s sperm count by nearly 50 percent. “If you and a partner are trying to get pregnant, masturbating could be hurting your chances,” he explains.

If you realize you have a problem, what should you do about it? Drake says there are two main techniques of addressing the issue: Cutting yourself off cold turkey, or the “harm reduction” method, which entails trimming your habit while still allowing yourself the occasional five-knuckle shuffle. You could attempt either on your own, but if you fail, seeing a therapist or sex addiction counselor could help you craft a smarter game plan, says Drake.

“There’s nothing unhealthy or problematic with masturbating,” he’s quick to add. “But if it becomes detrimental to your life, then you need to treat it like you would any other harmful habit.”

 

Does Porn Contribute to ED? by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters

Link to this Psychology Today post.

Growing evidence suggests that too much porn can diminish sexual performance.

Published on May 3, 2012 by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters

I often see men in my practice who are referred by their urologists for “sexual performance issues.” Frequently, these men present with erectile dysfunction (ED), premature ejaculation, or in some cases delayed ejaculation. By the time they reach me, most of them have undergone all kinds of medical tests, only to be told that their “plumbing is just fine” and so their problems must be in their heads. Maybe in some cases this is true, but often I find the problem is more complicated. In fact, I’m starting to see a growing number of men whose ED appears to stem from a combination of both physiological and psychological factors.

Over the past month, several male clients have sheepishly asked me whether I think their ED might be related to their frequent reliance on pornography when masturbating. Like many health professionals who work with sexual dysfunction in men, I use to think that a man’s ability to get an erection and orgasm while viewing pornography was by definition a rule out for ED. “If you can get it up and climax during porn than the problem can’t be physical,” I erroneously concluded; but anecdotal evidence has got me thinking otherwise.

In researching this topic, I quickly discovered that my male clients are not alone. A cursory search of the Internet unearthed dozens of websites and message boards inundated with personal accounts of men who attest to the fact that excessive masturbation to online pornography has seriously interfered with their ability to be sexually intimate with a partner.

Pornography on the Internet has gone viral, with large numbers of men (and women) taking advantage of the ease, affordability, and anonymity that comes with watching pornography online. And the type of pornography available on the Internet is astounding. This is not your father’s Playboy magazine. “Soft-core” erotic images have been replaced with a dizzying array of material depicting all kinds of kinky themes and fetishes. This imagery is not only more graphic but it’s also available through video streaming which can provide the viewer with instantaneous sexual gratification. The ease and immediacy with which one can view pornography is part of the problem say experts.

The study of pornography has been an area of interest for academics for decades but the impact of chronic pornography viewing on sexual performance has only recently been taken up by the medical field. A preliminary search of medical journals found very few citations directly referencing pornography and ED, although, I suspect this is likely to change as more men (and women) present with pornography-induced sexual dysfunction.

One such study I am aware of was conducted by a group of medical experts affiliated with the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine. According to a survey of 28,000 Italian men, researchers found “gradual but devastating” effects of repeated exposure to pornography over long period of time. According to the head of the study, Carlos Forsta, the problem “starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection.”

So what accounts for the correlation between pornography and erectile dysfunction? In an excellent blog post in Psychology Today (“Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting Than a Partner?”), Gary Wilson, an anatomy and physiology teacher breaks down the neurophysiological links between pornography and ED. Wilson explains that there is a detrimental feedback loop that can emerge between the brain and the penis when men rely heavily on pornographic images to masturbate. With Internet pornography, Wilson writes “it’s easy to overstimulate your brain.” Specifically, overstimulation brought on by viewing pornography can produce neurological changes—specifically, decreasing sensitivity to the pleasure seeking neurotransmitter dopamine—which can desensitize a person to actual sexual encounters with a partner. These neurochemical changes not only contribute to a person becoming “addicted” to pornography but they can also make it incredibly difficult to abstain from viewing pornography entirely.

Men who rely excessively on pornography to reach orgasm will often complain of withdrawal-like symptoms when they decide to go cold-turkey. Such men describe feeling “sexless,” leading many to become anxious and depressed about their diminished libido. Evidence suggests, however, that libido does eventually return—usually within 2-6 weeks of continued abstinence—as evidenced by the gradual return of morning erections as well as spontaneous erections throughout the day. “Recovery” is possible and many men have reported going on to experience extreme physical pleasure during intercourse with their partners after abstaining from pornography.

So, if you are finding the only way that you can climax is through porn, it might be time for you to consider abstaining and consulting a professional. As many men are painfully discovering, real sex involves touching and being touched by another person, not simply touching a mouse and then yourself.

-----

Tyger Latham, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Washington, DC. He counsels individuals and couples and has a particular interest in sexual trauma, gender development, and LGBT concerns. His blog, Therapy Matters, explores the art and science of psychotherapy.

Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo on porn-induced ED

This comment can be found under David Ley's post -   An Erectile Dysfunction Myth: Pornography is not the problem. It is the second comment by an expert disputing Ley's assertions.


re: the problem with conclusions

I'm sorry, Dr. Ley, but your conclusions are not valid because the research you quote does not address the specific type of sexually explicit material that these men are watching. The problem with most pornography research is that it almost always uses still porn (pictures of sexual acts or nudes), or films chosen by the researchers. These films are often uninteresting to the participants in the study.

I don't know of a study that has allowed users of internet porn who state that they have ED to simply cruise the web as they normally would, look at what they normally look at (from most accounts, multiple, brief clips of a huge variety of sexual acts, sometimes more and more extreme), and then measure something relevant over an extended period. These men could then be compared with a control group. I would like to see a study done this way. If there is one, will someone on this thread please forward it to me? I need it for my research. But I don't think it exists yet.

In the absence of such a study, I have to agree with the young men here. They have removed one variable, and they are seeing consistent results. And no one is giving them credit for figuring out what their problem is and finding a simple solution. I read the Reddit threads. Hundreds of posts, I read. What I found was that over a year or so of conversation about it, the men who stopped masturbating figured out (with the help of others on the thread) that they could return to masturbation after a short period, as long as they didn't turn back to internet, video porn.

What is not being said here is that many of my colleagues and fellow sexologists are tremendously concerned about the rhetoric against pornography. They are afraid, and rightly so, of censorship. Censorship is pernicious, and undermines all research. It kills curiosity, debilitates progress. I have NO INTEREST in censoring anyone's use of sexually explicit material (though I do agree with the control of depictions of children or non-consenting adults, or animals, who cannot consent).

But as a professor and a professional who teaches daily about human sexuality, I think we can certainly afford a scientific, multi-disciplined look at all of these issues. Indeed, we can't afford not to. As a human being and as a former therapist, I am tired of people who halt conversations midway because they refuse to look at their own motives, fears, and interests. Let's keep having the conversation. Let's deal with WHY we don't like what "the other side" is saying. Let's remain CURIOUS about each issue. And let's continue to LISTEN to each other as well as declare our lines in the sand.
 

Erectile dysfunction increases among young men, sex therapist Brandy Engler, PhD

There are various cases of male erectile dysfunction today. These cases are on the rise especially in men below the age of 40 years. The Journal of Sexual Medicine has published a recent study, where every single man below the age of 40 years among a group of four seeks help for a problem of erectile dysfunction. A sex therapist with a PhD, Brandy Engler and also the author of The Men on My Couch says,” In the past couple of years I have seen the number of men coming for this on the rise.” There are various reasons why young guys are having a hard time getting hard and there are various ways to deal with it.

Chronic health conditions like diabetes and low testosterone levels are normally the causes of erectile dysfunction amongst many men but with younger men, things are different. According to the study one contributing factor is smoking and use of illicit drugs which is very common among these young patients. Director of male reproductive medicine and surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital, Natan Bar-Chama says that other contributing factors to erectile dysfunction among younger guys are: excessive drinking, lack of exercise and poor nutrition. A solution to this problem is quitting smoking and staying fit. Bar-Chama adds that anxiety is not only causing this problem in women but also in men. Work related stress or failure to perform can lead to having problems rising to the occasion or even maintaining the erection.

Another major thing that causes erectile dysfunction among the younger men is what Engler calls the porn effect. Unlimited novelty is what results in the younger men from viewing porn. When this turns into addiction and becomes too much, it leads to a desensitizing effect, says Engler. If constant novelty lacks, it becomes much harder to have a hard on.

When your partner experiences this problem, don’t get mad at them. If your first reaction when your partner doesn’t get a hard on is getting mad, this will just add him more stress. It will give them emotional pressure because he will feel his erection is only needed to validate her. Engler says that instead, show him you still enjoy having sex with him and tell him this is no big deal. Focusing on getting you pleased and taking off these demands on his manhood can help easing the anxiety. Slow things a bit and Engler says this will even help alleviate his erectile dysfunction problem.

If the problem keeps on happening on many occasions, discuss it with your partner and do not use confrontational language, instead be supportive and use “we” when talking. Do not bring up the topic when you are both naked in bed, a less vulnerable situation will do good. Do things together like working out together with your partner and stop watching porn for some time to resolve your problem but if it persists, it’s time to see a doctor or a psychologist.

LINK TO POST

Date: 24 July 2013

Posted By : by Pauline

 

 

Erection problems from too much porn (Swedish), psychiatrists Inger Björklund, Goran Sedvallson

Posted on May 7, 2013 , by Linda Hjerten (Google translate)

  • Too much porn can make young men impotent.
  • The reality is simply no longer exciting enough.
  • increasing number are now being hit by porn impotence.

This is something we discussed and researched for some time in the U.S., including the site's yourbrainonporn.com that caters to men who have watched a lot of porn and now find it difficult to get an erection when they are trying to be with a partner of flesh and blood. The problem seems now to have taken hold Sweden. If this writing today Dagens Nyheter inside.

A quick search on the net on the words "impotent of porn" you will find several threads on some of the biggest discussion forums where men, many of them young and even some women, discusses the issue. While pornography is becoming easier to find and consume it becomes increasingly common to masturbate to porn, which can sometimes be very rough and far from reality.

For some, this can cause problems.

DN has spoken with Inger Björklund, psychotherapist at RFSU Clinic in Stockholm where you meet more and more young men with erection problems from too much porn viewing.

- It seems that reality is not sufficient to create a strong enough excitement. Man "teeth" is not a real partner. This is not a new phenomenon, but today's porn available around the clock. I-phones, I-pads, computers, televisions - anytime and anywhere you can see more and more advanced films, says Inger Björklund to Dagens Nyheter.

At the hospital in Karlskrona is a specific sexological reception. The manager Goran Sedvallson think the problem with porn impotence will grow with that pornography is becoming more accessible. Those who watch too much porn can trade in a bad ignition pattern he says to DN:

- It may be that men may not be able or feel pleasure when they have sex for real. They are so influenced by porn movie's fictional world that they can not handle a normal intercourse in real life. Obviously this can cause problems for the individual and in a relationship, says Sedvallson to DN.

According to a survey study Ungdomsstyrelsen done so watching nine out of ten young men and three out of ten young women more or less regular porn.

Erektionsproblem av för mycket porr

Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk

COMMENTS: this article is all over the place, but it's here because it quotes one of the top sexologists in India as saying that Porn can cause ED and other sexual disorders.


Link - Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk

Watching porn in not illegal in India, so a sizable section of the society satiate their libido because of easy access. With recent reports linking proliferation of porn with the spiralling rape cases in the country and the Supreme Court asking the govt to formulate its response on the issue, Daniel Thimmayya takes a wide angle view of the subject

Two labourers raped a five-year-old and left her for dead; a husband’s erectile dysfunction resulted in divorce proceedings. Two starkly different events that have little in common, barring one little element - porn. While the rapists had been aroused by watching porn and allegedly went hunting for prostitutes, prior to their rather gruesome act, the soon-to-be-divorced husband’s therapist told the court that his ability to ‘perform’ had been hankered by his habit of watching porn on the internet. Whichever way you look at it, porn or pornography - defined by the dictionaries as the ‘explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual gratification’ - is certainly in the spotlight now. And even the liberalists cannot argue about the fact that it’s for all the wrong reasons.

To address the more dangerous question first, does watching porn make a person seek out sexual intercourse? That answer is a resounding YES - studies have revealed that a person who has been stimulated by watching porn is 400 per cent more likely to seek out sex than someone who hasn’t. “Watching pornography affects the frontal lobe, altering the personality of the individual. It will persuade him to watch more and more porn and lead to satyriasis where a man is dissatisfied even with sexual intercourse and wants to either have more sex or watch more porn. The same mania in women is called nymphomania,” explains Dr Narayana Reddy, one of the top sexologists in South India, who runs the DEGA Institute in T Nagar. He goes on to add that the physical manifestations of watching porn for long periods of time can be dangerous as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other sexual disorders have been linked to compulsive masturbation while watching porn. “It’s like being withdrawn – a completely different phase of their life if they become addicted to porn,” he adds.

But hold on: not everyone who watches porn can be branded as an addict or sex-offender-in-the-making. Though Indian clinics are yet to use it, porn magazines and videos are commonly used in labs and semen collection centres in the West as it makes the extraction process smoother. Sexual medicine analysts frequently use pornographic aids in their line of work and have established that some amount of sexual stimulation is good, as long as it is with a consensual partner or preferably (at least in India), a spouse.

“Watching porn is not a mistake nor is it a crime,” states Dr Rajani Nandakumar, psychological counsellor at Bharatmatrimony. Having worked with several couples and marital mangles in his practice, he adds, “It’s when they spend more than an hour on it everyday or neglect other work just to watch porn that they can be called addicts.”

While porn addiction, by itself, can be treated psychologically with a few interventions, the fact that not speaking about sex because it is a taboo is a huge deterrent, says Dr V Vinayak, a psychiatrist who worked with VHS for almost five years.

“It becomes dangerous when it is combined with other problems - like drinking, drugs and sexual depravity. This could end up being dangerous,” he says. Psychotherapy can help addicts as long as they catch it early, but the family needs to be honest enough to admit that their child has a ‘serious’ issue and not just sweep it under the carpet. “Maybe then, such cases of child abuse and rape will reduce,” he says.

With the Supreme Court also mulling over how to stem the porn supply, legal experts say that the framework needs some work first. “You see, IPC Section 293 specifies that it is against the law to sell obscene objects to minors but till date, there is no law which states that watching pornography is illegal,” says Babitha Sunil, a lawyer. The only prosecution that can be done in any case relating to porn is when it is ‘transmitted’ or sold en masse. According to an amendment to the IT Act, 2008, any person who captures, publishes or transmits the image of a private area of a person is liable for three years in the slammer and a Rs 2 lakh fine. Transmitting porn on a mainstream basis will earn you a slightly larger jail time of three to five years.

Unfortunately, very few people are prosecuted because they aren’t caught in the act.

“As the mobile phone and tablet platforms are major stakeholders for such porn videos and content, it is not easy to find and prosecute the main producer or accused. So banning websites becomes that much more difficult,” says V Alamelu, a High Court advocate.

(With inputs from Harrita Narayan, Srimathi Sridharan, Pavithra Ravi and Anita Raghuraman)

Has Porn Ruined Our Sex Lives Forever? (The Daily Dose)

We may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at: http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-for...
We may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at: http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-for...
We may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at: http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-for...

We
may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed
the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at:
http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-for...

Don JonWe may occasionally, get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all.

Finding porn used to take some effort. It involved bravery, stealth, and location scouting (try under Dad’s bed). The prize—huzzah! Hidden stack of Playboys!—was almost laughably tame by today’s standards.

Now anyone, anywhere, is a few clicks away from being like John Mayer who, in his famous Playboy interview, bragged-slash-confessed, “There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.” But the observation he revealed was even more provocative. “Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations,” said Mr. Body-Is-a-Wonderland Man. “How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to.”  

What does it to do our psyches, our libidos, and our relationships when in .0001 seconds we can find whatever sexual stimulation our dirty little minds demand? 

As it turns out, a lot. Porn is mucking with our sex lives, relationships, and even the way we look. Let’s count the ways:

1. Porn leads to disconnected sex.

“Nothing else does it for me, not even real pussy” says Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s porn-addled character in Don Jon. There are lots of people like him out there having sex with—or at least near—unsatisfied partners. 

“Having sex with men who are avid porn users feels like I’m being masturbated into. It feels void of intimacy,” says 19-year-old Alaska*. “My partner would watch porn and masturbate while I was laying in bed with him. My role was just to be there. Sometimes he would watch porn for a little while and then want to have sex with me, but most of the time he would prefer to finish himself,” says Elizabeth, 19. Brian Moylan, editor-in-chief of Nerve and former VICE columnist, generally likes watching porn with his boyfriend, but has felt the disconnect, too. “There are times when we’re fucking and watching porn and I feel like I’m just an extra added sex toy in his masturbation fantasy (and sometimes vice versa).”

Behavioral therapist Andrea Kuszewski explains that “if someone relies too much on a certain type of stimulus in order to get excited, it might make it difficult to get aroused in the absence of that particular stimulus.”  She says, “This is the main problem with watching too much porn--the person begins to thrive on the novelty and deviance from the norm to excite them, and all other stimulation, including intimacy, begins to appear dull in comparison.”

For people who know—or sense—what they’re missing, the lack of emotional connection is a real loss. “I think we’re missing out on intimacy and the chance to have a real personal connection. Porn sex teaches young people to have sex without feelings,” says Alaska.

2. Hook-ups reign supreme.

Hook-ups are nothing new. And they can often be fun. Except now they seem like they’re the main option. “The guys won’t date. They want hook-up sex, and go from girl to girl,” observes Dr. Gail Dines, author of Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality, and founding member of Stop Porn Culture. Dines says that young women often suffer what they describe as “an emotional hangover” after having hook-up after hook-up and blame themselves, thinking they are doing something to attract the wrong guys.

“Dating young guys sucks,” says Madison, 26, who prefers to get involved with older men. “A readily hard cock is a fantastic thing, but with the advent of Viagra, I’d much prefer to be wooed, looked after, and adored (then well-fucked at preordained hours) than to be texted with requests to ‘hang out’ after not having heard from someone for a week.”

3. Porn often sets the sexual agenda.

“When I was 21, I’d never imagine someone asking me, ‘Hey, can I come in your face?’,” says Anastasia, 32. “That wouldn’t have even been a question. But it is now.”

If you’re into trying new things, porn can be a handy source of inspiration, but younger women can be freaked out by men who quickly ask for threesomes or daily blow jobs. “These girls are the casualties of porn culture,” Dines told DAME. “The guys want anal sex. They want the rough sex. They like to slap, they like to pull hair, they call names. What the girls don’t understand is that this porn culture is being played out directly on their bodies.”

As porn becomes the visual equivalent of background music in dorms and bedrooms, viewers can get desensitized. Plain old regular sex—which, incidentally would have sent kids a couple of decades ago into sexual paroxysms—becomes dull, and the sexual ante must be upped. This leads to hard-core strains of porn, with increased displays of violence and extreme acts.

“It’s really about how far you can push it,” says Dines. “They want to see just how far you can humiliate a girl and push her body until it breaks.”

Oddly, the rise of extreme porn might actually be indicative of a craving for emotional connection. “If you think about what makes sex interesting, it’s your emotional connection to the person you’re having sex with. If you take that away, as you do in porn, you’ve got to fill it with some emotion. So the emotion you fill it with is anger, rage, hatred,” says Dines. “Pornography, bizarrely, is ultimately boring and tedious so you have to keep bringing in something new and interesting.”

4. Increased scrutiny of body parts we thought were perfectly fine a decade ago.

Women have always felt insecure about their bodies. But younger women + porn watching = welcome to body dysmorphia (population: everyone). “My vagina never quite looked like the vaginas in porn. My stomach was never flat as theirs, and my breasts weren’t as big. When I was younger, it made me feel really insecure with my body, like there was something wrong with me,” says Alaska.

Anastacia has now become comfortable with her body and her own porn-watching habits, but was initially threatened by her boyfriend’s habits when she was younger. “I thought ‘These people don’t look like me. Does this mean he’s into blondes with double-D breasts?’ I’m a brunette so I was pretty insecure about it.” 

Now there are ointments to bleach our vaginas and buttholes or—what the hell?—pink em up. Pubic hair is non-existent for women under 30. (Though now, pubes appears to be making a comeback.) And there’s been a sharp uptick in labiaplasty, elective surgery to cut off perfectly healthy sexual bits. Yes, you read that right.

Because, creepily, the parts facing the harshest judgment—labia, boobs, pubic hair—are the very parts that define our feminine sexuality (see also: Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth). This creates an effed-up situation in which something that is an unmistakable sign of feminine arousal—say, a dark, engorged labia—might be altered to be shaped into a tinier, lighter one. How might this be screwing with the biological sexual signals we send to one another?

5. Men who don’t know how to properly shtup a woman.

“The positions men try to do with you because they see them in porn. Ugh. They hurt,” says Alaska. “And they clearly weren’t designed with the female orgasm in mind.”

But maybe it’s not necessarily the guys’ fault. Porn has become our primary form of sex education.

“The average 12-year-old boy is not putting ‘porn’ into Google because he wants to see ‘gag me and fuck me,’” says Dines. “He thinks might see breasts or naked women, then he gets catapulted into this world of violence. Remember they have not had sex before. When you’re 12, it’s the only thing you’ve got to measure against.”

Because porn isn’t exactly concerned with portraying the nuances of female desire and how to truly pleasure women and bring them to their peak. If viewers are looking to it to learn technique, they’ve definitely come to the wrong place. “Women are designed to receive pleasure, and experience triggers to orgasm from skillful caressing and rhythmic pressure of all kinds over many, many parts of their bodies,” wrote Naomi Wolf in Vagina. “The pornographic model of intercourse—even our culture’s conventional model of intercourse, which is quick, goal-oriented, linear, and focused on stimulation of perhaps one or two areas of a woman’s body—is just not going to do it for many women, at least not in a very profound way, because it involves such a superficial part of the potential of a woman’s neurological sexual response systems.”

Robert Kandell, who works with men teaching sexual mindfulness at One Taste, explained, “Guys are enthusiastic and they want the connection and intimacy but they’re getting bad information. The cum shot is the ultimate moment in porn and sex is just not like that. The climax of a symphony is the cymbals crashing at the end, but that’s not the main draw. We educate guys to enjoy the whole ride.”

6. Men suffering from sexual anxieties.

“The fallout from porn shows up in my practice in the form of several different issues,” says sex therapist Don Shewey. “Guys who try to duplicate the extremely formulaic contortions of porn and find that it’s not that enjoyable, and they think it’s their problem; guys who think it’s their job to perform like a porn star (get hard on cue, fuck like a jackhammer, and spurt without fail every time), or think that their partners expect them to do so, and therefore develop mild to crippling anxiety that makes it impossible to function sexually; guys who are so accustomed to masturbating looking at porn that they find it difficult to impossible to climax in someone else’s presence and guys who don’t have much real-life experience with sex who are afraid even to date because they assume that any partner will expect them to be ready to engage in every conceivable sex act.”

No one’s arguing here that porn should go away. Most of the experts I spoke with said that porn has a place in healthy, good relationships. It can be helpful for a disease-free sexual experience, lending companionship to the lonely, opening people’s minds to variety, allowing couples to talk openly about what gets them hot, or just providing a convenient route to orgasm. “My life is so busy right now, I just want to find something that gets me excited and just get it done. A couple minutes and I’m good,” says 27-year-old Stevie.

Porn can be superhot, all kinds of fun, and a lot of us use it and like it. And yet ... for some of us, it has become a third-wheel in our relationships, making many of us disconnected, desensitized, formulaic lovers. Are we willing to risk becoming lonely masturbaters, fueled by dopamine, endless variety, and ever-increasing stimulation, unable to handle the subtler, more sublime pleasures of real-world sex?

Moylan who detailed his efforts to (temporarily) get off porn in How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life sums up the conundrum: “Porn is great if you know it has its place and use it in moderation. I think it can lead to desensitization and habituated behaviors, but nothing gives me a boner faster.”

Original article: http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-for...

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How porn is destroying modern sex lives: Feminist writer Naomi Wolf has an unsettling explanation for why Britons are having less sex

  • Couples are having 20% less sex than they did just ten years ago
  • Wolf connects this to the rise of pornography
  • Porn poses health problems...
  • It desensitises those who watch it and has long-term consequences
  • As a result, it has a negative effect on sex and relationships

By Naomi Wolf

PUBLISHED: 19:44 EST, 11 December 2013


  • New survey: A major study has revealed that British couples are having about 20% less sex than they did just ten years ago

A lovely young mother of three boys asked sadly how her husband, in an otherwise happy, sexually fulfilled marriage, became 'lost to porn' to the point that she had to leave him. She now wonders how to  protect her sons.

A bright, male college student confessed that he is worried about what he calls 'the kink spiral' - the term he uses to describe feeling trapped by his need to see more and more extreme porn to get aroused.

Couples in their late teens tell me no one they know can have sex without porn playing on a screen. A guidance counsellor at a private school asks where he can find help for his students - many of whom are so addicted to online porn that the obsession is affecting their schoolwork and social development.

Recently, aA major British study, the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, which questioned more than 15,000 people aged  16 to 74, showed couples are having about  20 per cent less sex per monththan they did justjust ten years ago.

  • New discoveries: Wolf's new book Vagina: A New Biography discusses how neuroscience shows how pornography negatively affects both sex and relationships

As someone who has been researching in this field for over 20 years, I believe we must take seriously the rise of pornography. New research shows it is having a detrimental effect on men's and women's sexual responses  and harming relationships as a consequence.

My latest book, Vagina: A New Biography, about female sexual desire, has a chapter on new discoveries in neuroscience that show how pornography negatively affects both sex and relationships.  

Popular culture is reflecting this trend: the new film Don Jon centres on porn addiction. The hero is sleeping with Scarlett Johansson but sneaks off to watch porn, since he says nothing with a real woman (even Johansson!) is as good. Meanwhile, sex scenes in mainstream movies are getting more violent. In The Kids Are All Right, I was startled to see Julianne Moore's character start slapping her partner's face as he neared orgasm.

Young women tell me that hair-pulling, and even pressure around the neck at orgasm, are normal parts of courtship sex these days. These are 'porn cliches', as one young woman put it. I am not surprised by these shifts because  we all know about the pornification of society.

I believe more voices would be speaking out if the new research on this issue were better understood. What we're not being told - and this is a view which many scientists now confirm, but too few ordinary people understand - is that porn use poses health problems.

Mine is not a moral position. I think adults should be able see whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes (if the images are not based on a crime or any cruelty being committed).

Yet the neuroscience of porn addiction is clear: watching porn causes sharp spikes in the activation of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain, which makes people feel focused, confident and good.

The trouble is that this  short-term neurological arousal has long-term consequences. Firstly, it can cause desensitisation to the same erotic simuli that turned you on recently and, over the longer term, it can cause a greater likelihood of sexual dysfunction.

The user then craves more and more extreme pornography - violence and taboo images activate the autonomic nervous system, which is involved with arousal -  in order to reach that same level  of excitement.

  • 'Young women tell me that hair-pulling, and even pressure around the neck at orgasm, are normal parts of courtship sex these days.'

This acclimatisation and desensitisationdesensitisation explains why images that were seen as fetishistic, taboo or violent ten years ago are now mainstream fare on porn sites.

A second effect, confirmed with men and anecdotal with women, is trouble reaching orgasm. Doctors are now reporting an epidemic of healthy young and middle-aged men, with no disease or psychological issue that would otherwise explain their difficulties, who are having sexual problems such as impotence or delayed ejaculation due to this desensitisation.

A final problem related to desensitisation is that men start to see their own partners as less attractive, and less able to arouse them by ordinary sexual behaviour.

And, of course, one woman can't provide the ever-changing novelty, that constantly renewed boost to the brain that porn artificially delivers by a mouse click of the mouse.

There are other ways porn use can negatively affect female arousal. If a woman feels uneasy about her partner's use of porn the stress of her resentment and anger can affect her own ability to become aroused.

If you understand the neuroscience of female arousal, wWomen need to have their autonomic nervous systems (heart rate, breathing, blood circulation) highly activated to get turned on. Emotions such as stress,anger, a sense of threat and  resentment can function like throwing a bucket of freezing water on the female system.

  • Detrimental: Porn does not teach men sexual skills that are useful in arousing women

I have also done a lot of research into the fact that sex portrayed in most porn does not teach men, especially young men, sexual skills that are useful in arousing women. As Dr Jim Pfaus, a pioneer in the field of the science of sexual behaviour from Canada's Concordia University, puts it, porn use can take an emotional toll on relationships because men who use it are 'neurologically bonding' not with their partners, but with the porn.

Relationship expert and couples' counsellor Michael Kallenbach says: 'Couples are far more aware of porn now than they've ever  been. With everyone owning iPhones and tablets and being constantly bombarded with sexy ads and imagery, porn is leaking into our lives and affecting  our relationships.

'When one partner watches surreptitiously, it's a very dangerous avenue to go down. Their imagination, and relationship, will be put at the mercy of fantasy. This often results in affairs.'

A recent University of Sydney study, in which two professors surveyed more than 800 men, found that excessive porn consumption was reported by almost half the respondents (85 per cent of whom were married or in a relationship), and was harming their professional success and relationships.

The numbers were dramatic: 47  per cent of the male subjects watched between 30 minutes to three hours of porn per day, one in three said it harmed their work efforts, and one in five would rather watch porn than have sex with their partners.  

I can understand why the porn industry is keen to keep the addictive nature of its products quiet and promote the libertarian notion that there are no consequences. It is a global industry that wishes to turn men, and increasingly women, into addicts for financial reasons.

The situation very much resembles the marketing of cigarettes without health warnings in the Sixties.

So why isn't government-mandated disclosure of the risks obligatory, as it is now with cigarettes?

The answer is our politicians don't yet fully understand the damage that is being done.

  • Less sexually liberated: Porn is taking over our thought processes and corroding our ability to sustain meaningful relationships

Recently, the Daily Mail won a victory whereby the Government agreed that all households should opt in if they want to be able to view porn on the internet.

I believe that with good health information, people can make more informed choices about how, when, and if they want to use porn, and even better choices about what kind of imagery they might seek out or avoid.

Those who wish to end their addiction - like ending any addiction - can do so with effort.

Men who have done so - that is for whom we have data - report a great sense of regaining psychological control, and heightened arousal with their wives or girlfriends. Mostly they are relieved not to be at the mercy of something that many of those who write to me feel they need - but don't especially like.     

Are we 'sexually liberated' if porn is taking over our thought processes and corroding our ability to sustain meaningful relationships? I think we are less sexually free.

A powerful industry is manipulating us - and ruthlessly exploiting some hard-wiring in the male brain - to turn us more and more into sexual and emotional robots, only capable of achieving sexual fulfilment in a room with a computer, alone.

 

Internet porn wrecking conjugal ties in India (Porn-induced ED), Dr. Narayana Reddy

R. Sivaraman (Link to article)

When an engineer working in a multi-national company in the Middle East approached the Family Court here for divorce from his wife, a software engineer, on grounds that she was sexually dysfunctional and he was unable to consummate his marriage, the woman was shell-shocked.

She vehemently contested the claim and the judge asked for expert assistance.

Under psycho-diagnostic evaluation, the truth tumbled out. It was the man who was avoiding normal sex from day one of their marriage.

The reason: he was psychologically affected by watching pornography, leading to erectile dysfunction.

His is only one of many cases that the Family Court here is hearing: divorce cases set off by excessive or addictive exposure to internet pornography.

Some common facts are that men demanded that wives repeat what they see in hard porn videos, often played in the bedroom itself.

In some cases, unable to disclose this to anyone, and under pressure or abuse, women leave the matrimonial homes, setting the stage for disputes in courts. Experts say internet pornography addiction is now a silent epidemic that is ruining marriages.

As courts tend to view obstinate refusal to consummate conjugal ties as cruelty towards one’s spouse, the problem is passed off as ‘cruelty’ in divorce proceedings.

“In more than three years as a family court judge, I have seen a number of cases of porn-induced sexual dysfunction in men that resulted in unusual and unbearable torture, both physical and mental, to the wives,” says T.C.S. Raja Chockalingam, Judge of the Family Court here. He said wives were often uneasy with demands that they imitate acts done by porn actors. “When husbands insist on this, there is a devastating effect on the conjugal relationship. This kind of porn addiction is the bottom line in a number of divorce cases filed on the ground of cruelty.”

In one case, a husband in an upper middle class family sought divorce on the ground of cruelty on his wife’s part. After detailed evaluation, it was found that the husband wanted to tie his wife’s hand or whip her with a belt during sex.

Her refusal led to the divorce petition. In another case, the husband was averse to normal sex, but wanted his wife to repeat acts appearing on a porn video he played in the bedroom.

Addiction to pornography could lead to loss of concentration at work, withdrawal from close circles, loss of self-esteem and even sleep.

What are the symptoms of porn addiction? Says Dr. Narayana Reddy: surreptitious browsing, getting irritated at suggestions that they should spend less time on the computer, withdrawing from family circles, committing mistakes at work and over-spending.” Psychiatrists say the advent of internet has added elements like accessibility (at minimal or no cost), anonymity and interactivity (in some cases) to pornography, constituting a heady cocktail that has led to widespread addiction.

 

Is Porn Destroying Your Sex Life? By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Posted: 09/24/2013 - LINK TO POST

Statistics on Internet porn use are typically inflated. Porn providers pump up their numbers in an effort to increase advertising revenues, and anti-porn activists grab the most inflated stats they can find in an effort to show the all-pervasive nature of the supposed problem. Even the most conservative statistical estimates show that porn use -- driven by online accessibility, affordability and anonymity -- is very much on the rise. What you may find more alarming than the sheer volume of pornography we consume is the effect it could be having on your sex life.

Porn Use Goes Up, Happiness Goes Down

In a recent survey of 68 leading sex and relationship experts, 86 percent said they believe porn has had a negative effect on their relationships. Nearly two-thirds, 63 percent, said they think porn use changes men's expectations of what sex with a real-world partner should be like, and 85 percent said they think porn has had a negative effect on women's self-confidence, primarily because women feel as if they now must behave like porn stars in the bedroom.

Other surveys provide similar findings. For instance, one study revealed that women whose partners look at pornography frequently (in the woman's estimation) are less happy in their relationships than women partnered with men who either infrequently use porn or don't use it all (to the woman's knowledge). The same study found that a female partner's self-esteem decreases as her male partner's porn use increases. The most common complaint by women whose partners use porn frequently is that they can't measure up to the images shown online.

Perhaps, however, it is men who should be worried about measuring up. Consider Robert, a 26-year-old computer programmer:

My girlfriend Melissa is a sales rep who spends her weekdays traveling, coming home and spending time with me on weekends. Our sex life was great until about a year ago. I used to really look forward to Friday nights because I knew the first thing that would happen after she got home was we'd hop into bed for hot, sweaty, incredibly intense sex. Our (my) pent-up sexual energy usually resulted in a quick session, followed by a shower (together), a romantic dinner out, and more leisurely lovemaking later that night. Over the last year, however, I've struggled to achieve and maintain an erection, and sometimes I can't ejaculate. And we're definitely not doing it twice in one night like we used to. I've actually faked an orgasm a couple of times just to get things over with. What I can't understand is why I'm ready, willing, and able when logging onto my favorite porn sites -- something I do regularly when Melissa is on the road -- but I can't function when I've got the real thing right there in front of me. I am NOT bored with Melissa, and I still think she's very sexy and exciting.

Robert's inability to perform sexually is more common among young men than one might expect, and it is directly related to his porn use. In fact, it is becoming increasingly apparent that online porn is a leading cause of both erectile dysfunction (ED) and delayed ejaculation (DE) in otherwise healthy men in their sexual prime. In one study, male porn users reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their real-world sexual partners. When asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, subjects answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex, but over time it had the opposite effect. So, thanks to pornography, growing numbers of women now find themselves in relationships with men who are suffering from sexual dysfunction, which affects the women as much as the men. After all, if your man can't get it up, keep it up, or reach orgasm, your sexual pleasure is likely to be diminished.

Common complaints about porn-induced male sexual dysfunction include:

  • He has no problem achieving erection or orgasm with pornography, but in person, with his willing partner, he struggles with one or both.
  • He is able to have sex and achieve orgasm with his partner, but reaching orgasm takes a lot longer than it used to and his partner says he seems disengaged.
  • He can maintain an erection with his partner, but can only reach orgasm by replaying clips of Internet porn in his mind.
  • He increasingly prefers pornography to real-life sex, finding it more intense and engaging.
  • He keeps porn-related secrets from his partner (amount of time spent looking at porn, types images seen, etc.)
  • His partner feels like "the other woman."

This problem is not simply due to the frequency of masturbation and orgasm; it is more related to the fact that men in general are both visually stimulated and turned-on by new stimuli. Essentially, a man who spends 70, 80, or even 90 percent of his sexual life fantasizing and masturbating to porn -- countless images of young, exciting, constantly changing partners and sexual experiences -- is, over time, likely to find his in-the-flesh encounters less stimulating than the endless parade of new material in his head. So what we are now seeing on a relatively wide scale is an emotional disconnect with real-world sex partners that is manifesting not only physically as sexual dysfunction, but emotionally as a lack of interest in real-world intimate connections. And sexual enhancement drugs -- Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and the like -- won't fix things because these drugs only dilate the blood vessels to sustain an erection, not to create one. The brain and body need to become aroused first of their own accord. Without that, no dose of "erection enhancing" drugs will help.

So... No More Sex?

Actually, the news is not all bad. For encouragement, we need only to look at the brains of recovering drug addicts. It is well-known that chronic use of addictive drugs causes the brain to "rewire" itself. These neurobiological changes are, in large part, what makes stopping so difficult and relapse so common among the people who do try to quit. However, numerous studies have shown that if a drug addict remains sober for six months to a year, the brain nearly always returns to something very close to its normal state. Anecdotal evidence suggests that behavioral addictions -- including porn addiction -- are the same, and the brain can repair itself when it has the time it needs to heal. According to the Web site Your Brain on Porn, turning off the porn will in most cases "reboot" the brain, allowing dopamine receptors that are damaged from overstimulation (and causing sexual dysfunction and emotional disinterest) to recover, eventually restoring the brain's reward circuits to something approaching baseline. In other words, the longer a porn abuser stays away from porn, the more likely it is that his in-the-flesh sexual dysfunction and/or disinterest will dissipate.

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, is senior vice president of clinical development with Elements Behavioral Health. An author and subject expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, Mr. Weiss has served as a media specialist for CNN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others. Mr. Weiss is the author of Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, and co-author with Dr. Jennifer Schneider of both Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age and the upcoming 2013 release, Closer Together, Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Sex, Intimacy and Relationships, along with numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters.

 

Is online PORN wrecking your sex life? Sexpert Dr Harry Fisch says explicit images are like 'fast food' and reveals how they destroy your libido

  • Dr Harry Fisch is an expert on sexual behaviour and a TV doctor
  • His book, The New Naked, reveals why sex lives are suffering
  • A major reason is spending too much time looking at porn
  • Says porn addiction is becoming an increasingly common problem

Link to article

Porn has never been more prevalent. Easily accessed online, the adult entertainment industry has been blamed for everything from unrealistic expectations in bed to the depraved behaviour of killers such as Vincent Tabak.

Now porn is in the firing line of sexual health specialist and TV personality Dr Harry Fisch, who in his latest book, The New Naked, claims watching too much is making sex lives suffer.

In this exclusive extract, he reveals why porn is the sexual equivalent of fast food and explains what to do if your partner likes it a little bit too much.

'Watching porn and masturbating is the sexual equivalent of fast food. It’s instant gratification, and it’s fine once in a while when you’re craving some French fries or nachos smothered in that fake orange cheese goop, but for nourishment? Forget about it. 

Like many other things that are bad for us yet can sure taste good in the moment, pornography can start out as a harmless, once-in-a-while indulgence.

But for a lot of men, it can be surprisingly easy to get sucked into the vortex of a true addiction to porn that will be hazardous to his health, both physically and emotionally, without even knowing it.

That’s why porn addiction is the number one issue that sex therapists deal with.

Countless experts have discussed the shocking amount of porn consumed in this country but here’s the thing I have yet to hear any of them talk about: For the overwhelming majority of men who watch a lot of porn, it creates unique sexual performance problems. 

Yes, the very thing that is supposed to stimulate and arouse men (or women) sexually can actually destroy their overall libido and performance.

So why isn’t anyone talking about the Effect on Sexual Performance--the ESP—aspect of porn? They’re discussing why a guy watches it--and not what happens to his penis when he watches.

I can tell how much porn a man is watching as soon as he starts talking candidly to me about any sexual dysfunction he has.

When a man chronically watches porn and gets off on it, or watches porn with his hands on himself so he can masturbate at the same time (which is what usually happens), the sensory stimulation he gets from the virtual world makes it much more difficult for him to get aroused, stay aroused, and be happily aroused by the real, live woman in his life.

 
Not good: Too much porn can also have a negative effect on male arousal according to Dr Fisch

Not good: Too much porn can also have a negative effect on male arousal according to Dr Fisch

ARE YOU MARRIED TO A PORN ADDICT? TAKE THIS QUIZ AND FIND OUT:

Every addict is different but there are certain behaviours that would suggest porn addiction. If you answer yes to any of these, it might be time for a heart-to-heart.

  • Is he asking for rougher sex or more unusual positions? 
  • Is he suffering from any ejaculation problems? 
  • Is he being more critical about your body, particularly your breast size? 
  • Is he asking you to make any changes to your body, such as getting a Brazilian wax, that you are uncomfortable with? 
  • Does he have particular favourites that he likes to watch repeatedly? 
  • Does he get angry if you don’t want to watch with him? 
  • Does he withhold sex if you tell him you don’t want to watch?
  • Does he want to act out different scenarios he might have seen, even if you make it clear you don’t want to? 
  • Does he have secret or password-protected sites online? 
  • Has he ever watched porn in an inappropriate public place (such as on an aeroplane)? 
  • Does he have another mobile phone account or credit card? 
  • Will he cancel social engagements because he’d rather watch porn? 
  • Are his friends dropping hints to you about the porn he watches? 
  • Is he evasive or defensive when you ask him about porn? 
  • Does he choose porn instead of wanting to have sex with you?

In other words, his frequent porn-fuelled masturbation leads to sexual dysfunction with a partner. If he can only have an orgasm when watching porn, and if he becomes accustomed to having orgasms only in a certain way or while watching a certain thing, he’s in trouble and so are you. 

There’s also a flip side: Some porn addicts they want sex on their terms, in order to fulfill whatever fantasies have been “inspired” by what they’ve been watching.

The porn and his masturbating are having the opposite effect on his performance when having sex—it’s called retarded ejaculation.

His lasting 'too long' is the opposite of what most men experience when they watch a lot of porn—they can’t last at all.

While it sounds like it might be a good thing, lasting too long can be just as troublesome for a relationship as when he’s finished too quickly: feeling sore, bored, or fed up, wondering when he’s going to get the job done. Not to mention that the constant friction can actually be painful after a while. 

What’s disheartening for me is that so many of the people I talk to have yet to realise that there’s such a downside to watching pornography.

 
Unfulfilling: Spending too much time with the computer can lead to a dull sex life on both sides of the couple

Unfulfilling: Spending too much time with the computer can lead to a dull sex life on both sides of the couple

Not at first. I’m the first person to tell you that a little porn can be a lot of fun—and that a man who likes to watch once in a while is not necessarily verging on porn addiction.

But people can easily develop an addiction to it without even realising because it’s such an easy habit to indulge in.

A man can tell himself he’s not really harming anyone or 'cheating'. He may have starting watching as a way to spice up his sex life or because it was fun—but viewing habits can quickly escalate, in part because it’s so easy to stream porn 24/7.

He can always find something to watch when he’s in the mood, no matter where he is or what time it is, either.

How does anyone get over a porn addiction? It’s not easy but it is doable. Have your partner try these steps first:

Improvement: According to Dr Fisch, porn addiction can be overcome and sex lives put back on track

Out now: The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-ups is available from Amazon

Out now: The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-ups is available from Amazon

• Take an immediate break—from all sex and masturbation, not just porn. When a man doesn’t ejaculate for several days, he will be a lot more sensitive (and a lot hornier!), and he’ll be more likely to climax within a normal period of time. 

• Try to schedule something absorbing during the time he usually spends watching porn. If you can take a short trip, great (just don’t turn on the TV, as there is usually porn available in hotel rooms if that’s where you’re staying). Or have him do additional chores around the house (like the long-overdue garage cleaning, painting, or gardening, for example—something that is physical and makes it impossible to do while any electronic devices are around).

• Try to make your foreplay into more play. Ask him what he likes to do when he’s watching porn, and replace his hands with yours. When you touch him where he likes to touch himself, he’ll relearn how to get that same sensation when he’s alone with you. Do this together—no cheating for him and going back to porn!—and I promise that you won’t need thirty minutes for an orgasm any more. 

• It’s important you both talk about how much you love each other, and how much you cherish the emotional aspects of your sexual relationship so you can refocus on the qualities of your partner that you first were attracted to. Act the way you did when you were first courting—I’ll bet porn was not part of the equation then. This way, your desire will build naturally so that you both can enjoy the pleasure of real sex, and leave the virtual sex to the robots.

• If this doesn’t work because your partner is truly addicted and/or unwilling to discuss the matter with you, you should consult professional help. Look for a sex therapist experienced with porn addiction and sexual dysfunction. Be prepared for the addict to have a hard time. If addictions were easy to kick, there wouldn’t be any addicts.

Just as smokers need to find something to do with their hands when they quit—drinking coffee, chewing gum, or eating (which is why ex-smokers often gain weight), so do you need to find a better substitute. Luckily, you already have one lying next to you every night. 

The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups, £9.05 (Sourcebooks) is out now and available from Amazon. See harryfisch.com for more information

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2605079/Sexpert-Dr-Harry-Fisch-reveals-porn-makes-things-bad-bedroom.html#ixzz349cHBFr0 Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Is porn addiction on the rise in Bangalore? Therapist Rajan B Bhonsle

, TNN (LINK TO ARTICLE)

Jan 19, 2014, 12.00 AM IST

Karnataka is said to be ranked third when it comes to viewing pornography. TOI explores...

IT professional Amit Singh, 33, (name changed) lives the good life. He earns well, has a good circle of friends and a loving family. But he stood to lose this all to an addiction. Amit started viewing pornography in his early 20s out of sheer curiosity.

Around two years ago, his behaviour started to change. The normally social man began distancing himself from his friends. He became withdrawn and his wife would find him on his laptop on most nights. Initially, she suspected Amit of having an affair, but after looking at his browser history one day, she realized that his habit of watching porn had consumed him.

"I had become extremely withdrawn. I didn't think addiction was even possible. I would stay up all night to watch porn and I had even started viewing it at work. This started affecting my work. I didn't feel like going out and started distancing myself from my family as well," says Amit, who, with professional help, has been able to deal with his addiction.

With 199 cases booked under the Information Technology Act, 2000, in the last three years, Karnataka ranks third in the country when it comes to viewing pornography. While the actual number may be much higher, the fact is that more and more people are getting hooked to porn.

Ali Khwaja, an educationist, attributes this to the ease with which people can access porn. "With the internet making its way into phones, people now don't even care about who is sitting next to them. A case in point is that of the MLAs viewing porn in the Karnataka Assembly," says Ali, who has observed that a growing number of middle-aged men are getting addicted to pornography. While one may expect such men to have a roaring sex life, the opposite is true. According to Ali, addicts are unable to have sex with their wives, and can only perform if they watch porn. What's worse is that they can become aggressive and, at times, this leads to violence.

"Everyone who watches porn is not at a risk of becoming an addict. Those that watch regular acts of sex are less likely to get hooked, but if a person enjoys watching deviant sex, then there is a higher risk of becoming an addict. This is an indication of a minor mental illness, and if left unchecked, it can result in criminal activity," says Ali.

Counsellor Rajan B Bhonsle sees couples whose relationships are on the brink of ending at least once a month because one partner is addicted to pornography. But can this be termed an illness? "All addictions are illnesses. Addicts have a compelling urge to indulge in a particular act or substance, which affects their everyday life and makes them dysfunctional. Porn also falls in this category," says Rajan.

Porn addiction is rampant today. More and more disturbed parents and spouses have been seeking help, and there is even a growing concern in schools. Rajan remembers how on a trip to a small town in Assam, teachers told him that they were worried because many of their students were addicted to porn.

"If addiction can be so high in a small town where access to internet is not as easy, imagine what the numbers in a big metropolis will be," adds Rajan. In India, there is no scientific study yet on the access of pornography on mobile phones. Supreme Court advocate and cyber law expert Pavan Duggal believes that this corrupts young minds who can easily view this content. "The law has not done much to prevent this. In fact, the IT Act has done a huge disservice. Publishing porn, which used to be a non-bailable offence, is now a bailable one. Pornography is not high on the priority of law enforcement agencies," says Pavan, who believes that concrete changes are required to curb access to porn.

"The Indian cyber law needs to be amended and made more effective to curb access, use, transmission and publishing of porn. Also, cyber education and etiquette need to be inculcated in school curriculum to sensitize children about the huge porn content available and how they should protect themselves from it," he adds.

Signs of addiction - People who are addicted have a secret life and spend unusually long hours in privacy
- Their work gets affected and productivity decreases
- They stay up all night and look tired and sleepy throughout the day
- Social life of addicts gets hit as they rarely go out and meet people
- They have a low libido

Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood? by sexologist Maryline Décarie, M.A.

Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood?

I see it over and over with my clients.  Men come in for a consultation with complaints of lowered libido, delayed or absence ofejaculation, and problems with their erection not being as firm and full as it used to, or even no longer having erections at all.  The first thing I ask them is whether or not they watch porn on a regular basis and the response is invariably yes.

Porn addiction is the buzzword right now in men’s sexual issues and I often have a problem with the nomenclature.  Calling it an addiction means that we look at it from an addiction model perspective: Does your porn habit affect your social life? Your relationships? Your work or school performance? Your financial situation? Cause legal problems? If you answer yes to one of more ofthese questions then you have a porn addiction.

My issue with this perspective is that even if you have a “normal” level of porn consumption that doesn’t impact any of the above, your
porn habit could still have a detrimental effect on your sexuality.  In my opinion the “Do You Have A Porn Problem?” screening questionnaire
should look something like the following:

  • Do find you need to masturbate and climax more often than before?
  • Have your erections gotten less firm and full?
  • Do you have times were you cannot get an erection?
  • Do you find it takes longer to climax than it used to?
  • Are there times when you can’t orgasm at all?
  • Do you find it takes more stimulation to climax than it used to?
  • Do you find it difficult to climax from intercourse?
  • Do you find it difficult to climax from oral sex?
  • Do you find that some sexual images aren’t arousing at all?
  • Do you play porn imagery in your head during sex to help you climax?
  • Is sex with a partner not as satisfying as masturbating to porn?

If you answered yes to a few of the questions above, then it’s possible that your porn watching has begun to have an impact on your sexuality.  It’s called desensitization.  Basically the more you masturbate to porn the less real life events are able to elicit appropriate levels of arousal.

So what do you do?  One successful program had men stop all sexual climaxes for 90 days: no porn, no masturbation, and no sex.  This gives time to the brain to reset to its original standard. Obviously it’s easier said than done but with some information, support, counseling, and lots of willpower it’s possible and worthwhile judging by the testimonies.

LIVE BLOG: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Gabe Deem)

 

 

 


 

Looking at porn on the internet could ruin your sex life, urologist says (Harry Fisch, MD)

Hey, Alanis Morissette. This actually IS ironic. Probably. Scientists have discovered that the more online porn you consume, the less you want the real thing.

Sexual health expert Dr Harry Fisch reveals in his latest book The New Naked that, ahem, actively enjoying porn can cause sexual dysfunction – meaning you are less able to get it on for real.

The TV doc says it can be ‘surprisingly easy’ to get sucked into the vortex of a truly hazardous addiction to porn and that having too much ‘hands-on’ experience while watching it can make it ‘significantly more difficult’ to get aroused – and stay aroused – in a real-life situation.

Also – bad news all round – it could impact upon how arousing men find their own lovely wives or girlfriends.

He says that when he meets men complaining of sexual dysfunction, the Effect on Sexual Performance (ESP) of porn is ‘instantly apparent’.

‘Watching porn and masturbating is the sexual equivalent of fast food,’ he says. ‘It’s instant gratification, and it’s fine once in a while when you’re craving some French fries or nachos smothered in that fake orange cheese goop, but for nourishment? Forget about it.’

That’s not to say he thinks all porn is really, really bad. Just when men watch it ‘chronically’ with, as he delicately puts it, their hands on themselves. Try someone else’s hands, he recommends.

Basically, step away from the laptop (a bit) and get back in the bedroom.

You can read more in Dr Fisch’s book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education For Grown-Ups.

Wednesday 16 Apr 2014

LINK TO POST

Link to Dr Harry Fisch's website

Men who watch too much porn can't get it up, warns Manchester sex therapist

A Manchester-based psychosexual therapist has warned that pornography addiction causing a rise in the number of healthy, young men seeking medical help for erectile dysfunction.

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) is a relatively new sexual issue affecting a generation of men who have grown up with unlimited access to explicit material.

Having unrestricted access to the maximum stimulus that pornography provides can lead to a number of sexual dysfunctions, according to psychosexual therapist Janet Eccles.

“Sex with a long-term partner might suffer because the porn user just isn’t excited enough anymore,” she explained.

“What gets lost here is the idea of one’s sexuality being for oneself and one’s chosen partner.”

Hundreds of men struggling with the effects of PIED have reported experiencing this exact problem on addiction forums – some of which are being inundated with millions of hits a day.

One forum user writing of his experiences said: “My porn and masturbation habits had ground my ‘poor little man’ into a desensitized, permanently flaccid, useless addition to my body that simply didn't want or fancy real female attention.”

Another man, aged 22, said: “I used to get nervous about having sex with my girlfriend because I had the constant threat of erectile dysfunction looming over me.”

“I used to resist her advances and make excuses as to why we couldn't have sex because I had either already masturbated that day and wasn't in the mood or because I was terrified of not being able to perform and having to suffer the shame, embarrassment and indignity of erectile dysfunction.”

A rising number of young men are turning to Viagra to solve the problem – but the medical approach often proves useless because the issue with PIED begins in the brain.

 “The problem is that dopamine – the hormone released that enables that pleasurable state – is part of the reward circuit in the brain and it can become desensitized to triggers,” Janet explained.

“We might see one image one day that excites us and return to it again and again, only then we find that it doesn’t excite us anymore.

“I’ve seen many clients, who despite consciously not wanting to use porn, find themselves returning to porn sites over and over again compulsively.”

Users end up seeking more extreme stimuli to achieve the same ‘high’ and research at Cambridge University has likened the brain activity of compulsive pornography users to that of drug addicts.

One 20-year-old man writing about his experiences said: “I thought it was normal, but the truth is that I was a dopamine junkie.”

“The more porn you watch, the more you need and the more hardcore porn you need to feel fully aroused.”

“At my worst, I was dabbling into occasional bestiality, frequent incest scenes or else always another hardcore type of porn.”

The compulsive need to find a greater stimulus means that the brain’s pleasure centre becomes numbed to ‘normal’ sexual experiences, resulting in a lack of arousal and erectile issues with real-life partners.

“It may be that the idea of intimate sexual contact with someone they know well just ‘doesn’t do it anymore’ for them so they may become withdrawn from their partner and avoid sex altogether,” Janet continued.

Many men sharing their experiences online have spoken of similar issues, explaining that their addiction led them to feel isolated, depressed and unconfident.

Some have even reported suicidal thoughts as a result of the addiction.

“They lose their own natural sense of being a sexual being – the natural ebb and flow of libido, the closeness and comfort of a partner and forget what sex is actually about for them,” Janet went on.

“It becomes a robotic, emotionally sterile experience, instead of a sharing, bonding one.”

As a result, men suffering from PIED and addiction are encouraging each other to quit the habit and begin ‘rebooting’ – the process of re-wiring the brain into being stimulated by natural sexual triggers.

Those in the back-to-basics stage have reported much higher sensitivity to more subtle sexual triggers such as touch and smell.

One 19 year-old man describing his ‘reboot’ said: “The first weeks were the hardest with raging cravings, complete and utter brain fog, decreasing confidence and overall happiness as well as brutal mood swings.

“My porn-wired – now unsatisfied, dopamine-deficient – nervous system turned me in to a complete wreck.

“Then I started making serious progress; urges were going down, my nervous system slowly rewired itself to respond with arousal to touch and smell, instead of just to the cold light of a computer screen.

“As my mind got clearer, my confidence got greater and my social anxiety diminished.”

Many others have described the ‘rebooting’ journey as ‘life-changing’, affecting not only their sex lives – but their entire self-esteem.

“Good sex is about having fun, it’s about being able to express yourself and share yourself in a safe, loving, exciting or tender way,” Janet concluded.

“It’s not about just copying what you see on a computer screen.”

For more information, visit Janet Eccle's website.

May 6, 2014 | By Kat Woodcock

LINK TO ORIGINAL POST

 

Middlebury College physician sees rise in ED - blames porn

Parton medical clinic sees rise in erectile dysfunction

By Saadiah Schmidt. Thu, 05/03/2012

The last three years have witnessed an upsurge in the number of male students reporting erectile dysfunction and other sex-related problems at Parton Health Center, according to Director and College Physician Dr. Mark Peluso.

“They can’t get an erection or maintain an erection with a female partner,” Peluso said. “They think they need Viagra.”

In a typical office visit, Peluso will ask his patient a series of questions: Are you attracted to your partner? Are you intimate? Do you have a sexually inhibiting medical condition? Are you using substances, such as alcohol, that impair sexual performance? Do you feel attracted to other men? According to Peluso, the answer to all of these questions is usually “no.”

However, “in the majority of cases, the patients were habitual viewers of pornography, and had no difficulty with sexual performance when they were by themselves,” Peluso said.

Noting the increased use of online pornography, Peluso suggests an inverse relationship between porn and potency — as porn use increases, so do sexual insufficiencies.

Senior Nurse Practitioner at Parton Health Center Laurel Kelliher often talks to female students about their partners’ erectile dysfunction.

“I would say in the last couple of years, it has been more prominent,” Kelliher said. She also believes that porn use is a major factor and advises women to encourage their partners to abstain from its use.

Both Peluso and Kelliher reported that the majority of patients who seek help for erectile dysfunction are starting a relationship.

“I see both, but more often people are in relationships than just random hookups,” said Kelliher.

Men “come in because they want Viagra,” said Peluso. “They are going to be with a female partner, going to visit a girlfriend, starting a new relationship and feel bad about [their erectile dysfunction].”

“You feel inadequate and ashamed,” said a male sophomore who has suffered from erectile dysfunction. “It’s a very awkward situation.”

Awkward though it may be for men, erectile dysfunction affects women as well.

“You automatically assume that [erectile dysfunction] is your fault,” said a female sophomore, “even though it doesn’t make any sense, because it is a guy’s body’s reaction to you.”

IS PORN TO BLAME?

How can pornography consumption affect sexual performance?

“The exact mechanism has yet to be determined,” Peluso said, but there may be neuroadaptive changes in the brain that impair sexual function in habitual pornography users.”

Peluso cited a study in which researchers treated Internet sex addiction with naltrexone. They found that dopamine and other neurotransmitters in the brain may be impacted by habitual pornography use in a manner similar to drug addiction.

Italian urologist Carlo Foresta carried out a 2011 study in which he found a strong link between pornography and erectile dysfunction. Seventy percent of men in the study who suffered from erectile dysfunction were regular pornography users, and interviews suggested that the actual figure was greater than this. The team concluded that “regular use of Internet pornography leads to hyper-stimulation of young men’s erotic sensibilities and … desensitization.”

According to some medical professionals, pornography can become an addiction.

“Studies suggest that there might be some people who would be vulnerable to pornography taking on an addictive quality to the point where it is interfering with their lives and they can’t seem to manage their viewing,” said Executive Director of Health and Counseling Services Gus Jordan.

According to Assistant Professor of Spanish Juana Gamero de Coca, who has done research on the topic of pornography and teaches a first-year seminar called Heterosexual Relationships, today’s pornography is significantly more “hard-core” than it was even 15 years ago.

“Pornography is somehow based on crossing a limit,” said Gamero de Coca. “It has to be in order to indulge people with erotic imaginations … Porn has become more violent, more perverse [in recent years]. At the beginning of the 20th century, novels like Madame Bovary and Lady Chatterley’s Lover were illegal because they were considered ‘pornographic.’

“I think that porn as we know it will end,” she continued. “Torture, rape and child molestation are becoming normalized.”

According to Gamero de Coca and other scholars, the trend affects users: tastes change to be more extreme as they become normalized to what previously aroused them.

The Campus has withheld the names of students who feared social repercussions.

“In the beginning it was always pictures,” said a male first-year. “Now it’s videos on the Internet. I guess it was easier to get erect before.”

Pornography consumption may further divorce students’ porn-inspired fantasies from the private intimacies with another person.

“For many, real sex does not always live up to the expectations pornography provides,” said Peluso. “Therefore, [men] might experience sexual difficulties when they are faced with the real thing.”

Another male first-year said that he compares real sex to porn.

“I see things in porn and want to try them out,” he said. “But I do not compare the girls I sleep with to the girls in porn.”

“There is a closed line of communication when talking about sex with boys,” said a female sophomore. “So much of what we do is based on what we think guys want and what we think they watch in porn, but you never know.”

Gamero de Coca cited a recent study that showed the average worldwide age at which boys begin to use pornography is nine.

“This is very scary,” she said. “All the information that they are learning about sexuality — a fascinating subject for every boy and girl — is being fed to them by the media and porn.”

Many male (and female) students at the College admit to having watched pornography before they had experienced sex.

“I watched a lot of porn before I had sex for the first time,” said a male first-year.

SKEPTICISM

Some students remain skeptical about the link between porn and erectile dysfunction.

“Becoming used to any specific mode of arousal can render a person less erotically flexible, but to vilify pornography is misguided,” said Claire Sibley ’13. “I’m not convinced that’s the issue our campus is dealing with. It’s telling that we’re talking about erectile dysfunction and pornography — after all, the stereotype dictates that men watch porn.

“What I suspect is being ignored is dysfunction in general — less obvious in the case of women, but just as real. If the problem really is porn, the solution is — try masturbating without porn. If that doesn’t work, get some sleep and reduce your stress.”

OTHER EFFECTS

Men also face “condom collapse syndrome,” or the inability to maintain an erection when using a condom. Foresta’s Italian research team also found that porn-influenced erectile dysfunction was linked to a decline in condom use.

“Condoms are definitely desensitizing, and a porn addiction will not help the problem,” said Peluso. “In a way, you are being desensitized twice.”

“I think that sometimes men use [condoms] as an excuse [for] why they cannot have or sustain an erection,” said Kelliher. “However, more often than not there is some porn viewing going on as well.”

Condom-collapse syndrome can lead to risky behavior — sexual partners frustrated by the man’s inability to maintain an erection with a condom might choose to forego protection altogether in favor of having sex immediately.

Kelliher claims to have seen a large increase in demand for Plan B since around 2005. She also claims to have seen more cases of genital herpes in the past five years than previously. The test for genital herpes, at $110, is the most expensive sexual transmitted infection test.

“It is sad to see that [the porn] industry has taken something so simple and basic away from your generation,” Kelliher said. “This should not be a problem for kids your age. Hopefully we can start talking about it more and make it more comfortable for students to come in if they have a problem. We can help then and we can get them through this.”

Peluso, Jordan and Kelliher encourage students who are suffering erectile dysfunction to seek help for erectile dysfunction at Parton Health Center.

Need porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again, Alexandra Katehakis MFT, CSAT-S

LINK TO ARTICLE - 'Youth and Pornography Addiction' (The Fix)

  • Young viewers are unintentionally training their bodies to become aroused by the unique conditions provided by internet pornography, explained Katehakis, who is also a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. “What happens is when these neuronal networks start to fire together, they become wired together,” she said.
  • The simplest treatment may also be the hardest. “The most important thing to do is to stop looking at it,” Katehakis said. “For the young men we've treated, they literally have to go on a porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again.”

 

Letting teens get their quick fix of sex on the net could cause long-term physiological and psychological damage.

Men younger than ever are reporting difficulty achieving intimacy in relationships and are struggling well into adulthood to regain normal sexual function, according to sex addiction experts.

High-speed Internet pornography, more specifically the addiction to seeking novel and increasingly shocking images, is to blame for these sexual problems, according to therapists who counsel men and boys as young as preteens.  “There seems to be a classic pattern that is emerging which is that the addiction to pornography develops in the adolescent years, stays hidden for a time, and not until the teen grows into adulthood and experiences serious marital conflict [does he] seek treatment,” said psychotherapist Matt Bulkley, counselor at the Youth Pornography Addiction Center in St. George, Utah. 

For the young men we've treated, they literally have to go on a porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again.

Young viewers of Internet pornography are more likely to suffer long term physiological and psychological damage lasting into adulthood because the exposure happened during a time when their brains were not yet finished developing, Bulkley explained. “In some cases, erectile dysfunction is the result of the brain being trained to be aroused by pornography,” he said.

The problems arise when a younger viewer who has not yet had any real life romantic or sexual experience learns the “birds and the bees” from watching pornography. Teens may immediately experience feelings of confusion, isolation and shame when they view pornographic content. When that teen moves into adulthood seeking a relationship, he may have problems with sexual interest, arousal and monogamy. “When it comes to understanding intimacy, porn is masterful at distorting what it is that is involved in a real relationship,” Bulkley said. 

How is Internet Pornography Addictive?

Scientists are just beginning to link heavy pornography viewing with the same pleasure-reward responses that occur in drug addiction. When viewing pornography, the brain releases large amounts of the neurotransmitter dopamine, the same chemical that drives reward-seeking behavior in substance addictions, according to Psychology Today contributor Gary Wilson.

Wilson is co-author of the book, Cupid's Arrow, and the mastermind behind YourBrainOnPorn.com, a website that explores topics relating to neuroscience, behavioral addiction and sexual conditioning. In his article, “Why Shouldn't Johnny Watch Porn if He Likes?” Wilson shows how younger brains are particularly susceptible to the thrill-seeking effect of dopamine as compared to adult viewers. Teen brains are the most sensitive to dopamine at around age 15 and react up to four times more strongly to images perceived as exciting. On top of the increased thrill-seeking, teens have a higher capacity to log long hours in front of a computer screen without experiencing burnout. Additionally, teens act based on emotional impulses rather than logical planning. These traits combined make the adolescent brain especially vulnerable to addiction.  Pornography addiction during adolescence is particularly troubling because of the way neuron pathways in the brain form during this period. The circuitry in the brain undergoes an explosion of growth followed by a rapid pruning of neuron pathways between ages 10 and 13. Wilson describes this as the “use it or lose it” period of a teen's development. 

“We restrict our options—without realizing how critical our choices were during our final, pubescent, neuronal growth spurt,” Wilson wrote. “...This is one reason why polls asking teens how Internet porn use is affecting them are unlikely to reveal the extent of porn's effects. Kids who have never masturbated without porn have no idea how it is affecting them.”

Teens are left without an understanding of normal sexual behavior because they have been repeatedly exposed to the superstimuli of constant novelty and constant searching provided by Internet pornography. 

Lasting Effects of Internet Pornography Addiction at an Early Age

The very components that define Internet pornography—isolation, voyeurism, multiplicity, variety—also explain why online porn is more addictive and damaging than the pornography of yesterday. “There was a time when people looked at pornography in print magazines and some [viewers] were specifically drawn to it more than others,” psychotherapist Alexandra Katehakis told The Fix. “Then, over time, there was video pornography and that grabbed the brain differently than print did. Now, internet pornography is so powerful that it is literally rewiring the brains of men.” 

Young viewers are unintentionally training their bodies to become aroused by the unique conditions provided by internet pornography, explained Katehakis, who is also a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. “What happens is when these neuronal networks start to fire together, they become wired together,” she said. “With internet porn, the images are so incredibly powerful and visceral that it is shocking to the system and a person gets a massive dose of dopamine...over time, they need more and more [dopamine]."

While most of those who identify as having a pornography addiction are male, females are also susceptible and can experience lasting damage as well, Katehakis said. 

The same principles apply—sexual response is wired to what was learned by watching porn. For females, this can distort perceptions of validation, pleasure and their role in sex. “Parents need to have conversations with their kids,” Katehakis added. “They need to talk about what is the purpose of sex, what is the meaning of sex and why people have sex.” Without those conversations, teens move into adulthood without real knowledge of healthy relationships. “Later in life there may be intimacy problems, the inability to connect with another human being and the inability to maintain a long-term monogamous relationship,” she said.

Seeking Help for Pornography Addiction

The stigma surrounding pornography addiction—many treatment centers do not yet recognize it—leads many of the afflicted to feel isolated and depressed which can heighten the need for the feel-good response triggered by the addiction itself. 

The simplest treatment may also be the hardest. “The most important thing to do is to stop looking at it,” Katehakis said. “For the young men we've treated, they literally have to go on a porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again.”

“Also, stopping looking at images isn't enough,” she continued. “Often a person can find himself still looking at images in his head. Some people can look at [pornography] like some people can have a glass of wine and not have another, while other people can really never look at it again.”

Centers which treat sex addiction will often also treat pornography addiction, although the two are very different: pornography involves pixels and not another human being.

“The main thing that the general population needs to understand is that [pornography] can really become a bon-a-fide addiction and to not underestimate the potential impact of this on a teen's life,” Bulkley said. Teens who are addicted to online pornography may show symptoms such as increased time spent in isolation, increased time spent viewing technological devices, changes in attitude or behavior such as hypersexual language or dress and decreased focus in school and other activities. 

Counselors at the Youth Pornography Addiction Center in Utah help teens reset their thinking by uncovering the underlying issues that existed before or were aggravated by the addiction. "An addiction is a coping mechanism,” Bulkley explained. “Rather than solving the problem, they turn to this temporary escape.” Helping teens create an action plan to identify problems and how to overcome urges is one formula used for outpatient counseling at Bulkley's center.

For more intensive treatment, the center also has a wilderness program where teens “detox” from not only technology and internet pornography, but also from the highly sexualized images that are prevalent everywhere from bus bench advertisements to cosmetic product packaging. 

However, as with many things, problems can be averted early on by having conversations with your family, Bulkley said. “Parents need to understand, like it or not, kids are going to be exposed to pornography...You can do everything you can to protect them, but with the sexualization of our culture and the ease of access, it's not if, it's when.”

“It's about having an ongoing conversation with your kids,” Bulkley continued, “and it really has to be an early discussion and ongoing dialogue that continues through their growing-up years.”

Sarah Peters has written for the Los Angeles Times, The Daily Pilot and the California Health Report. This is her first story for The Fix.

http://www.thefix.com/content/youth-and-pornography-addiction

 

PDF of a lecture by Carlo Foresta, urology professor (2014)

Lecture - Project ANDROLIFE: Health & Sex

Foresta's discussion of porn runs from page 45 to page 79.

The lecture contains more observations and the results of longitudinal and cross-sectional studies. Foresta also mentions his upcoming study, "Sexuality media and new forms of sexual pathology sample 125 young males, 19-25 years". Italian name - "Sessualità mediatica e nuove forme di patologia sessuale Campione 125 giovani maschi"

Results from the survey of high school teens (pages 52-53):

  • The percentage of teens that experienced alterations of their sexuality  2004/05 - 7.2%; 2012/13 - 14.5% (pictured below)
  • The percentage of teens with low sexual desire: 2004/05 - 1.7%; 2012/13 - 10.3% ( that's a 600% increase in 8 years)

Below are the results from a study of 125 young males (19-25 years) which used the International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire to compare 4 domains of sexuality between porn users and infrequent users (pages 77-78). Dr. Foresta circled the "sexual desire" domain, emphasizing the large disparity in sexual desire. So much for the claim that heavy porn uses have higher sexual desire.

Also notice the disparity in erectile function scores between porn users and non users. I'll add that this questionnaire is not ideal, and may be understating porn's effects as guys could still masturbate to porn for their "sexual activity". We also don't know if he was asking both virgins and sexually active young men, or those who were sexually active only. Obviously, most virgins don't realize they have a sexual dysfunction until they attempt sex with a partner, so their inclusion would lower rates.

NOTE: To understand the scores in the box below, read this link: International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire. The scores below are not percentages. Maximum scores on the items the study measured range from 30 to 10, depending upon the item.

Dr. Carlo Foresta  is a urology professor, President of the Italian Society of Reproductive Pathophysiology, and author of some 300 academic studies.

More information from Italian press


 

Dr. Foresta Interview where he discuses the above findings and more


 

Porn causing erectile dysfunction in young men (Global News Canada)

Porning too much? by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W.

guy with screenWhen it is controlling you rather than you controlling it

December 14, 2012 by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W.

Porn is becoming a widespread and increasingly serious problem. An estimated 20-30 million Americans (okay mostly men) are viewing porn daily. The saturation with porn is causing a host of young adults (yes, men again) to need Viagra to deal with erectile dysfunction because of changes in their brain chemistry. Even more disturbing is the impact on children (some as young as 10) who are watching porn and creating major changes in their brains because of their age and because the porn comes before they have any reality-based relationships with another person. 

Finally there are the porn addictions that are disrupting not only the sexual side of couple relationships but obviously the emotional side as well. And like alcohol or drugs, there is a fine line here between dependence and addiction. 

Dependence is a pull, the craving – the checking out the liquor cabinet to make sure you’re not going to run out by Thursday or the looking forward at 4 pm for the evening cocktail. With addiction the drug is the boss of you. You build around it, you can’t control it, skipping is not an option, even the thought of doing without creates a panic. 

Porn is particularly powerful thanks to the internet. Just as the heroin addict or alcoholic’s tolerance increases, so does it for those drawn to porn. Fortuanately or unfortunately there is an endless variety of types and sites, ready to fill whatever new level you desire – you literally never run out. 

And finally we have oxytocin. This is what clinches the addiction for guys. Oxytocin is the chemical that helps new parents bond to their babies, causes couples who fall in love to bond to each other. On any given day a woman’s oxytocin level can be as much as 10 times higher than that of a man. With that it doesn’t take much (he unexpectedly washes the dishes, brings her flowers) for her to literally feel connected. What increases oxytocin for men? You guessed it – sex, specifically orgasm. As men watch porn they usually have orgasms (thanks to mirror neurons and the interactive nature of porn sites) which increases their oxytocin and they then bond to the porn. (For a good summary of porn and the brain check out Oct '12 Men's Health)

While all this chemistry and physiology is going on, there is also the psychological component. Like other problems, porn is a bad solution to other problems. What are those problems? Some likely suspects: 

Stress. When stress overflows its banks, it’s easy to move into more forbidden territories that we would ignore in saner, daytime hours. With stress goes our natural defenses. For some it is about porn, for others another drink or joint, or shopping online for shoes. Pick your poison. 

Boredom. Boredom often comes from 2 sources – a filling of your life with a lot of “shoulds” rather than wants, and a lack of stimulation. By shoulds I mean doing what you are supposed to do rather than the want that captures your soul and passion. If you are going through the motion of frying hamburgers at McD’s it’s probably a should – a job, not your passion – and you can quickly get bored. You might be less bored if there is stimulation – a coworker to talk to about his weekend or the activity of those around you at lunch rush. Take away to coworker or lunch rush and you’d get bored. Porn provides lots of stimulation when you are feeling unsatisfied and unstimmed.

Resentment. Resentment mixes well with shoulds. If you are doing what you should a lot because someone (or that critical voice in your head) says so, it’s easy for resentment to eventually build up. When it gets big enough, the tendency is to act out because you deserve it. So you sneak online on your job at 4 pm because you are physically tired and emotionally tired of what you have done all day. You sneak online at 11 pm because you feel your wife has been nagging you since you got home, and feel you deserve it, because it is, in some weird way, getting back at her (even if this is all in your mind and she has no idea what you’re thinking). 

Sex. Or lack of. You would think this is ought to be at the top of the list, but often it’s not. But obviously it’s there. If you feel sexually deprived, disconnected, sexually bored, Internet porn seems like a great solution – as close to reality as you can get without reality.

The problem again is any of these can be a trigger and once you become dependent on the porn to deal with them, you get hooked, brain chemistry takes over, and you’re on the road to potential addiction. 

The way out? Like most potentially addictive behaviors you need to address the 2 elements simultaneously. Behaviorally you need to break the pattern. What is recommended to the those developing ED is not more Viagra but cold turkey – abstinence – no porn, no masturbating (because you easily recreate the Internet fantasies while masturbating) for 6 months or longer (you can find websites where folks are willing to talk about this) to help break the cycle and re-regulate your brain. 

The other is to fix the underlying problem. If it is about doing what you should but not what you want, find ways of increasing your wants into your life. If about stimulation, find other outlets to offset that 4 pm drag and walk away from your computer. If stress, ditto. If resentment at others – your boss, your partner -- try figuring out what you want them to change and then speak up – need more challenging assignments, need some time to decompress when you come home. If it's about sex, do the same – figure out what you want and speak up. 

You don't have to do it right, just do it different. Baby steps count, just start. If you keep doing the same thing you'll keep feeling the same way. 

Finally, I realize this is all easy to say, but often hard to do. So get support – from partner, friend, professional. Get help to change what you do so you can change what you do.

Maybe it's time to pull the plug.

LINK TO ARTICLE - Porning too much?


Comments: Robert Taibbi, is a very well known therapist, writer, and author of textbooks for counselors and their supervisors. In this PT post he describes porn-induced ED, and suggests 6 month without porn & masturbation may be needed.

 

Pornography & Erectile Dysfunction, by Lawrence A. Smiley M.D.

Lawrence A.Smiley MDThe following is a comment under David Ley's Psychology Today blog post entitled "An Erectile Dysfunction Myth: Pornography is not the problem."

PORNOGRAPHY & ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

In theory anything that gets a man an erection is good for his erections. Each time a man gets an erection the penis is flushed with oxygenated blood and the different expandable layers of the penis are expanded. This keeps the tissues and blood vessels healthy and elastic - which is good for the penis. So at first glance pornography should be a good thing for a man's erections.

This is however, not always the case.

If a man has no sexual partners and the bulk of his erections are through watching pornography and masturbating, then these erections are better for the penis than that man not having them at all.

Pornography plays an entirely different dynamic for a man who has one or more sexual partners. The internet makes it possible to not only find pornography, but to find exactly the type of pornography that you want. So whatever a man finds to be most erotic - young women, heavy woman, married women, young men, older men, animals, cars, etc. - whatever it is - it can be easily and quickly found online. Here lies the problem. When a man who has no history of erectile dysfunction and who is watching pornography on a regular basis and who is watching what to him is the most erotic of all things, when he is with a partner after that - the real thing (his partner) may be less erotic or stimulating than his optimal pornographic experience.

I see men almost every day in my sexual dysfunction practice in exactly this situation. They have developed over time, the inability to easily get a good solid erection with their partner and sometimes find it difficult to ejaculate with their partner.

I advise these men to dramatically cut out the pornography they watch and after a few months their erections and ability to ejaculate with their partners almost always returns to normal for them. They can still masturbate all they want during this period of time - but not to erotic pornography.

While the author makes an excellent point that clinicians, myself included, cannot support these observations with hard data and studies, the observations are so uniform among clinicians that it is logical to assume a that there is a direct correlation between a pornography addiction and erectile dysfunction, even while awaiting formal studies that conclusively prove this to the authors satisfaction.

Lawrence A. Smiley, M.D.

Men's Medical New York, P.C.

Submitted by LAWRENCE A. SMILEY, M.D. on September 2, 2013 - 8:31am.

Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish

young couple in bed(Google translate) When Donald would have sex for real for the first time, he felt no desire. However, he was easily aroused by porn videos. And sex problemen just continued. 

Donald is one of a growing number of young men who felt that they suffered porn impotence. That is, it does not work when trying to have sex for real.

- The first time when I would sleep with a girl I was not able. I lit simply do not and it was as if something was missing. I thought that I was just nervous, but it was the same the next time. I simply had no desire, says Kalle.

First, he felt a tremendous shame and thought then that maybe he was gay. For a few years he went about with their concerns and fears. Then he looked online and found that many young men shared experience that too much viewing porn in connection with masturbation could be a cause of the problems.

- Then I simply stopped trying to meet someone to have sex, continue Kalle.

He is nineteen today and feel that he was "healed" from his porn impotence. Sex life with his girlfriend works well and he does not look at porn anymore, would not be at risk again.

When Donald was thirteen years old , he looked for porn sites on the net. There were many movies and short videos to download - and was free. Even for those who are not of age.

- I often sat in front of the computer and masturbated. In the end, it could become three four times per day. In the movies, it was normal sex, normal sex and a lot more. I watched most of "normal" movies.

Donald says he was quite shy as a young teenager. When he was sixteen, he met a contemporary girl at a party. He followed her home. They kissed, necked and was finally naked in her bed.

- I noticed that she was pretty excited, but I felt more nervous. And nothing happened with my penis. It was loose and I did not get a position. She asked if it was the first time and said it did not do anything - but it still felt incredibly awkward.

Next weekend met Charlie and the young girl friend at his home, the parents had gone to the country. They watched a film, ate chips and drank some beer. They hugged, made out for a while - but then the same thing happened as last time.

- Neither this time I got something about. Now I felt even more embarrassed. The next week called the girl again, but then blamed me that I was busy all next weekend. Then ran it all out on the sand. I saw her at school and every time I was terrified that she told me what had happened and that I would be teased.

Donald continued to look at adult movies while he masturbated. Then it was no problem to get a position. After six months, he met a new girl at a party and they gave each other their phone numbers. They met at her house one afternoon and tried to have sex.

- The same problem again. I did not feel so light and did not get a position now either.

Now the Donald age of 17 years and their thoughts that maybe he was gay came more frequently.

- My uncle is gay, so for me it was not scary or unnatural. I have no bögfobi ... Though I had never experienced any attraction to boys or men, and I never looked at porn where men had sex with each other.

Then one day came across Donald on forums online where others told of similar experiences. He found several discussion threads where young men reported that they suffered porn impotence, that is to say that it did not work when they would have sex for real.

- I recognized myself in the stories, but also read that there was a way to become "good" again. Many had stopped while masturbating and watching porn, and after a few months it had worked when they tried to have sex for real. I decided to follow the "recipe".

Six months ago, Donald began dating a girl in high school class. And after two months it happened he dreamed of and yearned long after. He was capable and could complete sexual intercourse - for the first time.

- I was crying and the girl took first nothing, but when I told my story, she was also very taken.

Why do you think that you have previously had problems to light in connection with real sex?

- I've thought a lot about it. In porn movies moaning women directly and they are willing to do a lot of things, sets up in just about everything. I do not know if I subconsciously thought that it would be so, and therefore, I did not get a position. Now it works, anyway - and I'm going to drag me to look at porn again.

LINK - Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish

Porren var det enda som fick Kalle att tända

Publicerad 2013-05-08 11:01

Reality is not enough exciting (Swedish), Psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson. urologist Stefan Arver, psychotherapist Inger Björklund

This article (Google translator) quotes three experts who say porn is causing sexual problems: Socionomen Inger Björklund, psychotherapist at RFSU Clinic; Stefan Arver's chief physician and head of the Centre for Andrology and Sexual Medicine at Karolinska University Hospital in Hudding;  Psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson.


More and more young men suffer from "porn impotence." On the web, they search for people with the same problem. "I was just about when I was looking at porn - not with my girl," said one of the victims.

The U.S. site Your Brain On Porn caters to men who tend to watch a lot of porn and can no longer get a position when they try to have sexual intercourse. The focus is on how extensive consumption of pornography affects the brain's reward system and leads to disturbed "lighting patterns", namely that one can not get excited by a "real" partner.

Now it seems these developments have reached Sweden. On the net there are several discussion threads where thousands of men, mostly young, discusses the problem of getting a position during intercourse. Common to many is that they very often masturbated while viewing porn.

Questionnaire studies by including Youth Board shows that nine out of ten young men looking at porn more or less regularly, the corresponding figure for young women are three of ten. Girls often respond that they use pornography to get excited, guys, however in order to simultaneously satisfy themselves.

A 19-year-old man writes on a nätsajt he sensed that something was not "quite right" and sought information as to why he could not get a position when he was with his girlfriend. He was just excited if he watched porn and masturbated while. When a nude woman lying in front of him in bed, nothing happened, she and the whole situation was not enough excited.

Socionomen Inger Björklund, psychotherapist at RFSU Clinic in Stockholm for five years, says that more and more young and older men seem to have erection problems after watching a lot of porn. She and colleagues have not considered the difficulties porn impotence without trying to see the problem in context.

- But it seems that reality is not sufficient to create a strong enough excitement. Man "teeth" is not a real partner. This is not a new phenomenon, but today's porn available around the clock. I-phones, I-pads, computers, televisions - anytime and anywhere you can see increasingly sophisticated films, says Inger Björklund.

She says that the phenomenon sometimes partly can be about it for various reasons may seem daunting to have an intimate contact with another human being. Then it's easier to live out their sexuality in a virtual fantasy world.

- In the "real" life, you're more vulnerable. Anyone who looks at porn does not establish any relationship to others. Therefore, a high consumption of porn make it difficult to find a common and normally functioning sex life.

Is there any solution to this kind of problem? Yes, answers Inger Björklund. The most important thing is to realize that you stuck in negative behavior. A first step is to self-define their behavior as a problem or something you want to change.

- If you want help to break the pattern and try to understand more of how it fits together to talk therapy as a means to regain a functioning sex life.

On an Internet site writes a young man he was a virgin and without sexual intercourse until the age of 18.

When he would have sex for the first time, he was "not up Willie" and the "blåvägrade" how much they tried. The young man began to search for information online. There he found many of the same problems. He continues:

"It turned out to be porn and masturbation as was culprit. If you for some time - for me it was a six-year period - masturbating and porn usually heavily so get used to the brain about the dopamine receptors to light on visual stimulation. In other words, the body can become horny and excited about it may look at porn and masturbate at the same time. Would a naked girl lying in front of my bed so nothing happens, the body does not think it's enough exciting. "

Stefan Arver's chief physician and head of the Centre for Andrology and Sexual Medicine at Karolinska University Hospital in Huddinge. He has heard of the phenomenon of "porn impotence" that someone exposes so much about sex through porn that he eventually lose interest.

- I can imagine that especially younger men who are not as sexually experienced may have a disturbed sexuality if they watch too much porn. To live in a fantasy world without living people, as the porn offers, can create unrealistic expectations of how a functioning sex life should look like. It can also lead to difficulties to experience a closeness and security with their partner, which in turn can lead to problems such as getting a position.

At the hospital in Karlskrona, a specific sexological reception since 1984. The manager Goran Sedvallson, with extensive experience as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, says that those who watch too much porn often end up in the wrong ignition patterns.

- It may be that men may not be able or feel pleasure when they have sex for real. They are so imprinted on the porn film's fictional world that they can not handle a normal intercourse in real life. Obviously this can cause problems for the individual and in a relationship.

The problem with porn impotence will grow, given the increased availability, believe Goran Sedvallson. He and his colleagues in Karlskrona took last year against some fifty new visitors. Patients were between 17 and 80 years - and all felt that they had more severe problems with their sexuality.

- We have not yet received the young boys and men who experienced "porn impotence." My assessment is that in the first place looking at youth clinics and the like - they are now seeking help at all. For a teenager, it is not easy to admit that, for example, may not be able when you're with a girl.

Thomas Lerner

Original article - http://www.dn.se/insidan/verkligheten-inte-tillrackligt-upphetsande/

Sexual Dysfunction: The Escalating Price of Abusing Porn, By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Mark’s Story

Mark is a married, 35-year-old realtor. His wife, Janet, is a pharmaceutical sales rep who spends several days each week on the road. Both report that their sex life was great until just a few years ago, and Mark is not sure what happened. He used to look forward to the days Janet was home because he knew the first thing they were going to do was hop in bed and make passionate love. Even after the birth of their first child, the two always made time late evenings and weekend mornings for lovemaking. But no longer. These days when being sexual with Janet, Mark struggles to reach orgasm. He’s even started faking orgasms, just to get things over with. What Mark can’t understand is why he’s ready, willing, and able when he logs on to his favorite porn sites—something he does regularly when Janet is on the road—but he can’t function when he’s got the real thing right there in front of him. Mark is quite clear in saying he is not “bored” with his wife, and he continues to find her “sexy, exciting, and arousing.”

Is Porn Ruining Sex?

Mark is suffering from Delayed Ejaculation (DE), a problem that is more common than most people realize. Symptoms of DE include: taking longer than normal to reach orgasm; only being able to reach orgasm via masturbation; and not being able to reach orgasm at all. At first Mark didn’t mind because “lasting longer” is generally viewed as a sign of virility. He chalked it up to maturing as a lover, thinking he was now better at pleasing Janet. Unfortunately, as he and many others have discovered, there really is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

As with all sexual dysfunctions, there are numerous possible causes of DE, including: physical illness/impairment; the use of SSRI-based antidepressants, which are known to delay and in many cases eliminate orgasm; psychological factors with stressors like financial worries or family dysfunction—all of which can mentally distract men during intercourse. But one increasingly documented cause of both delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction is an over-involvement with—for some, addiction to—pornography and masturbation as a primary sexual outlet. This seems the most likely culprit for otherwise healthy men in the prime of life such as Mark.

It appears that the tsunami of accessible, affordable, and increasingly graphic Internet pornography accessed via home computers, laptops, smart-phones and other mobile devices we now carry in our pockets can, for some, cause not only emotional, relationship, and financial problems, but also sexual dysfunction. In a way, this confirms what many in the sexual addiction treatment field have known for quite some time—that among the many symptoms and consequences of sex and porn addiction is reduced or even nonexistent interest in sexual, physical, and emotional connections with spouses and/or longer-term sexual partners. This problem is not simply due to the frequency of masturbation and orgasm outside a primary relationship; it is more related to the fact that men in general are both visually stimulated and turned-on by new stimuli. The man who spends 75% of his sexual life masturbating and fantasizing to porn (endless images of young, exciting, different partners and sexual experiences) is, over time, likely to find his longer-term partner less interesting visually and less stimulating than the endless supply of new and exciting material in his head. What we are now seeing is an emotional disconnect with spouses and partners that is manifesting physically as sexual dysfunction, be it DE or its better known cousin, erectile dysfunction (ED). Common complaints by men experiencing porn-induced sexual dysfunction include:

  • They have no problem achieving erection or orgasm with pornography, but in person, with a willing spouse or sexual partner, they struggle with one or both.
  • They are able to have sex and achieve orgasm with their spouse or partner, but reaching orgasm takes a lot longer and their spouse or partner complains that they seem disengaged.
  • They can maintain an erection with a spouse or partner, but can only reach orgasm by replaying clips of Internet porn in their heads.
  • They invite spouses and partners to join them in watching porn—not as an occasional addendum to a healthy sexual life—but as a necessary tool toward erection and orgasm.
  • They increasingly prefer “porn sex” to real sex, finding it more intense and engaging.
  • They have increasing secrets from their spouse (amount of time looking at porn, images seen, etc.), which can lead to feelings of guilt and detachment.
  • Their spouse or partner reports that they are beginning to feel like “the other woman.”

When People Eat Too Much, They Diet; What about Too Much Porn?

It is unlikely that everyone who suffers from porn-induced DE is a full-blown porn addict. Nevertheless, porn-induced sexual dysfunction should at the very least be viewed as a precursor to porn addiction. Any man who uses porn and suffers from sexual dysfunction with a spouse or longer-term partner should consider a respite from porn and masturbation for 30 days to see if the problem clears up. If it does, that’s great. If that individual thereafter stays away from porn and masturbation, his sex life should be fine. If 30 days of porn and masturbation abstinence doesn’t clear things up, the individual may need to look deeper for the cause, which could be either physical or psychological in origin.

If it turns out the problem is porn addiction, the individual will need to understand that, like all addictions, porn addiction “rewires” the brain in ways that make it more difficult to experience “natural” pleasures, including pleasure from sex with a willing spouse or partner. As such, he should not expect the problem to remedy itself overnight. In fact, neuroscience tells us that it can take a year or more for the dopaminergic or pleasure pathways in the brain, when altered by addictive behaviors, to normalize.

Possible signs that porn use has escalated into addiction include:

  • Continued porn use despite consequences and/or promises made to self or others to stop
  • Escalating amounts of time spent on porn use
  • Hours, sometimes even days, lost to viewing pornography
  • Viewing progressively more arousing, intense, or bizarre sexual content
  • Lying, keeping secrets, and covering up the nature and extent of porn use
  • Anger or irritability if asked to stop
  • Reduced or even nonexistent interest in sexual, physical, and emotional connections with spouses or partners
  • Deeply rooted feelings of loneliness, and detachment from other people
  • Drug/alcohol use or drug/alcohol addiction relapse in conjunction with porn use
  • Increased objectification of strangers, viewing them as body parts rather than people
  • Escalation from viewing two-dimensional images to using the Internet for anonymous sexual hook-ups and to find prostitutes

Sadly, porn addicts are often reluctant to seek help because they don’t view their solo sexual behaviors as an underlying source of their unhappiness and/or inability to perform sexually. Others simply feel too ashamed. And when these individuals do seek assistance, they often seek help with their addiction’s related symptoms and not the problem itself—visiting a doctor to ask about potential physical causes of sexual dysfunction, masturbation related penile irritation, or to seek counseling for “relationship problems.” Sadly, many porn addicts visit medical doctors and attend extensive psychotherapy without ever discussing (or even being asked about) their use of pornography and/or masturbation. Thus, their core problem can remain underground and untreated.

All professionals treating men with arousal/desire related concerns—in the psychotherapy, sex therapy, and medical fields—have to be ready to ask questions about porn use and masturbation. If porn addiction is uncovered, extensive counseling with a trained and licensed sex addiction treatment specialist is required, often in concert with couples therapy, group work, and, if useful, involvement with a 12-Step recovery program. It is important to note that porn addiction is most often a symptom of underlying emotional and relationship concerns that will require longer-term psychotherapy and support to overcome, but this psychotherapy and support can be successful only after the presenting behavioral issue has been identified and eliminated.

Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry

Video: Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry

Sudeepta Varma, MD,

Psychiatry, answered

Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction include discussing the issue openly, rewiring the brain so that porn isn't the only factor in arousal, and sensual touching. Watch psychiatrist Sudeepta Varma, MD, explain how to overcome this issue.

Study: porn blamed for decreased sexual desire & increased sexual dysfunctions in teens, Dr. Carlo Foresta (2014)

Thumbnail of article in ItalianComments: The following (roughly) translated articles contain quotes and describe studies (in press) by Italian urology professor, President of the Italian Society of Reproductive Pathophysiology, and author of some 300 academic papers, Carlo Foresta. See this page for descriptions of the studies and his 90 page PDF of the lecture where he presented his results.


Foresta quotes:

  • "Of course - adds Carlo Foresta - there 'is no moral judgment [about porn use], but it is clear that this generation grew up with unconditional access to sexually explicit web, began to show serious problems with physical relationship."
  • "Among young people who make extensive use of pornography on the net, one in four also risks the loss of sexual desire and premature ejaculation."

Generation no sex

They have eighteen, and their heaven is in a closed room. Friendships, love, pleasure, everything is there. And there 'is a need for a real physical body to caress, touch, feel, someone to look into the eyes: sex for them is lonely, traveling in the network, communicates with strangers, it feeds on extreme emotions. So all-encompassing that it can happen, indeed happens, that not a few guys used to frequent the sites hard from an early age, then begin to lose interest in sex true, what lived, what implies the relationship, contact, and maybe, who knows, l ' falling in love. As if reality were then far less exciting than fiction. 

The doctors call them "hypoactive" sex, teens, twentysomethings who confess that they do not feel any desire of physicality with a concrete or a partner, but to be fulfilled by the solitary pleasure of cyber sex. That is the game erotic consumed in the shadows of their room. Hikikomori sentiment in Japan so the boys are thousands, and they are called "herbivores." 

But the phenomenon is contagious, global. And what emerges is a surprise from the data of the Italian Society of Andrology directed by Professor Carlo Foresta. Eun survey of more than seven thousand students of 'last year of high school in Padua, carpet screening on health and sexual habits of young Italians. The surprise is that in the 'age when the desire should be to' peak, and so the curiosity and the desire to discover the 'eros and its mysteries, a band of males (12% of respondents) states instead of being so used to have virtual relationships do not want more real ones. C 'is that of wonder. 

It's like watching a nightmare digital watch from outside. Yet the trend is real. Even more so if you think, as it adds Carlo Foresta, a leading expert on male infertility, which ten years ago, in 2003, "in response to this same survey, the number of sexual anorexic stopped at '1.2% of the respondents ... . " What has happened in these 10 years?

Forest extends his arms: "He fell the sense of mystery. Ever since teenage boys come into contact with any kind of explicit sexuality through pornographic sites on the internet. An avalanche of raw images, direct, and stun them forever alter their emotions. And though for many - thankfully - this remains at the level of the game, for others it becomes a 'habit, even an addiction, which then leads them to neglect the real sex.

"Expanding on that desire for isolation technology that is already a disease of contemporary youth. And which are the famous Japanese hikikomori, adolescents autoreclusi of the Rising Sun, are the most striking manifestation. 

"But the refuge in the virtual relationship, the one that hides the body and the contact is the first step of the syndrome of those who decide not to go out from your room, and they suffer in Italy already more than a hundred thousand young people," warns Antonio Piotti, psicoterapeutae author of a seminal book on hikikomori of our house, "The empty bench. Diary of a teenager in extreme confinement, "published by Franco Angeli in 2012

We read in the research on the seven students interviewed: 'L' habit of frequenting pornographic websites has a significant influence on the sexual desire of the young Italian, and 25% of visitors has resulted in sexual behaviors deemed negative. " These are the same guys to realize that something is wrong, to confess (in 3% of cases) their dependence, while over 50% say that they suffer from premature ejaculation.

"Of course - adds Carlo Foresta - there 'is no moral judgment, but it is clear that this generation grew up with the' unconditional access to sexually explicit web, began to show serious problems both physical relationship." 

Francis is 21 years old today, does not have a girlfriend, but finally some "adventure". He says he closed the door of his room when all 'sudden parents are separated. "The web has become my world, there is not suffering, there could love, enjoy, find friends, 'were crazy women with whom to have sex, of course c' was the middle of the screen ... I did not care, it was how to attingerea an excitement continues ... I did not go anymore, I did not care, did not sleep: I had a nervous breakdown, I was admitted to a clinic. It was my salvation. I went back to live with others.

"Fortunately, the number of "disinterested" sex realeè still small. And maybe, who knows, one day the desire of 'the other or of' other may become so strong as to cause them to open the door of their room. But something has changed and Gustavo Pietropolli Charmet, a psychiatrist at the forefront in understanding bambinie guys, invites adults to look at reality. Without turning your head to the 'other side thinking that "maybe will pass." 

"We are witnessing today a sea change in the system of romantic relationships among young people, who have gone from 'romantic love to' narcissistic love. That is a kind of love where everyone tries to satisfy itself, even in pairs. But above all, for them there is no barrier between real and virtual: we adults think of the web as a world of shadows as opposed to the physical world ... ". A metalanguage in short almost incomprensibilea who has more than twenty years'. 2.0 The loves can come and go on the computer in real life, or on the wall of the school start and finish with a text message. 

"Every revolution - says Charmet - poses his questions, and this is a sexual revolution. After all, the web is a free space, where we are shown without barriers, even the timid or the nasty feel of the game, for this is considered to be more exciting. C 'is then an extreme fringe of guys chea fury to train in this solitary eroticism, without a body, if not his own, ends up not being able to live a sex with a real person. " 

But the phenomenon is, in fact, global. And if in Japan, the syndrome of "alienation of carnal intercourse," now affects 35% of young people between 16 and 19 years, who their friends and companions prefer cybersexo inflatable dolls, even in England the virtual sex is now considered a 'emergency.

With a major survey titled "Do you know where your child surfs," the Guardian has launched a campaign to urge parents to control their children who are victims of sexting, solicitations, or dangerously addicted to 'love online. And always in England has started a campaign against the music videos too explicit (see Miley Cyrus), that too would upset the younger members of MTV. 

Emilio Arisi, gynecologist of Sigo (Italian Society of Gynaecology and Obstetrics) the race to take refuge in the shadows of the virtual sexuality by males, may depend in part on the "asymmetry" of maturity between boys and girls in post-adolescence, now more determined than ever. "The boys are scared: 18 years the desire is very strong, but often the same age are not available, there are myths of power and virility. Next to this, c 'is the universe of the internet where everything seems possible, it looks like an escape, especially for the most vulnerable, the least secure. Instead, it happens that the end is the virtual pornography to take the place of concrete relations with a partner. "

In his story-essay on Henry, a young man who chooses the 'autoreclusione in his room, Antonio Piotti describes the steps and stages that gradually lead a teenager to break ties with the outside world. "This is such a massive appeal to sexuality online is the indicator of how well among young Italian the risk of 'autoreclusione is present. It is as if there were two hemispheres: some young people looking at the sites you hard "schools", it's like a practiced 'initiation, then passed to the physical relationship, true. And this also applies to girls. Others isolate themselves, in sexuality as in everything else, what Contae pleasure in itself, the 'altroo the' other do not count.

And day after day you become self-sufficient within the four walls of his room. The outside becomes only virtual. Autoreclusi precisely. "

DE LUCA MARIA NOVELLA


Sex in young decreases, the desire to blame porn online

1/29/2014

In ten years, the sexuality of eighteen Italian has changed a lot: have doubled those who report a sexual disorder, and increased premature ejaculation with little desire and erectile difficulties in the presence of the partner. A problem that vanishes when sex becomes virtual and multimedia

Carlo Foresta, president of the non-profit Forest Foundation and professor of clinical pathology at the University 'of the University of Padova, yesterday presented the project andrology permanent, or a screening program of sexuality' in the very young men, carried out together with the alderman Services Social of the Province of Padua, which so far has involved 10,000 children.

And 'merciless photograph taken by Forest. In ten years, according to the professor and agree to the collected data, the sexuality of eighteen Italian is "changed a lot : have doubled those who report sexual dysfunction, premature ejaculation and together are increased lack of desire and erectile difficulties in the presence of the partner. A problem that vanishes when sex becomes virtual and multimedia. " A problem that does not exist, therefore when the teenager is located just in front of a pc, and on the monitor transmits porn movies erotic images or otherwise.

For students olds last year of high school in the province - and supported by the Province of Padua, ULSS 16, by the University 'di Padova, the Municipality of Padua and the Office of the Provincial School - a project carried out by Forest "There has allowed early detection of a range of issues, but also to understand how and 'changed sexuality' of the very young."

Also according to the data collected during the research, issues such as changes in erectile function and loss of libido, are greatly increased in ten years . On the contrary, during sex chat online, for example, young people "react" better. For Professor Forest is very important "intercept these problems as soon as possible, and to encourage the very young to not live alone with their difficulties, but face them to overcome them."


impotence

Teens and Sex online August 5 2014

Sexual dysfunction and pornodipendenza are just some of the risks associated with the alarming rise of teenage "sick" sex online. From the data collected by the Italian Society of Andrology and Medical medicine of sexuality (Siams) and presented at the Festival of Knowledge, Instructional, a picture emerges quite alarming about the dependence of young people from cyber-sex.
25% of teenagers between 14 and 16 years would pass too much time in fact connected to porn sites unsuitable for children under 18 years, with the risk of developing sexual dysfunction, such as premature ejaculation and decreased desire and addiction psychology.

The research shows that since 2005 the number of regulars sites porn has almost doubled: 5000000-8000000 in Italy. Of these, 10% are minors.
Federico Tonioni, director of the Center for psychopathology from web del Policlinico Gemelli in Rome, the author of the manual "Psychopathology mediated web, internet addiction, and new dissociative phenomena" (Springer), commented: "80% of our patients are were just boys aged 12 to 25 years, users of chat rooms, social networks and role-playing games. In young web mediated the relationship can lead to a dissociation of the mind-body relationship. In practice cybersex missing in the training phase: sex via Web puts away by emotions, sensations but also by the problems of the real world. There undresses and makes texting by sending images hard to get refills, but then we live in is embarrassed because it is not real experiences. Here the danger is that of a block, an extreme shyness with others in the flesh, which then leads to a new flight release on the web. "


Porn and Memory  April 1, 2014

... But the problems for pornonauti not seem to end here. According to research from the University of Padova, among young people who make extensive use of pornography on the net, one in four also risks the loss of sexual desire and premature ejaculation. "The kids of today - said the urologist Carlo Foresta, lead author of the study and president of the Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine - are the first generation that has had an experience of sexuality different from previous generations: internet, web cam, chat and images they have created a new form of sexual communication that affects more than 800,000 in a month minors. This experience gives an imprinting no real evidence and builds a media and instinctive sexuality that does not take into account the sensory as well as affectivity. "

The data also shows that more than 12% of the sample of young people do not look real relationships. 25% has declared to suffer from reduced real interest and premature ejaculation and this explains Forest, is because ejaculation occurs in times of movies, which generally on the internet can be over in a few minutes.

Suffering from ED? This Reason May Surprise You, by Michael S Kaplan, MD

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Dr. Michael S Kaplan,

Could pornography be a cause of ED? Most people assume it would have the opposite effect, but recent reports have stated that pornography can indeed be a cause of erectile dysfunction.

The chemical dopamine is responsible for experiencing pleasure, including sexual pleasure. However, when the brain is overloaded with dopamine it loses the ability to respond the way it should, making people less susceptible to feeling pleasure.

Pornographic images have been around for a very long time, but with the Internet it’s possible to access triple-X material easier than ever. Watching too much porn leads to an overproduction of dopamine in the brain, causing less of a response and more dopamine required to achieve an erection.

After exposure to dopamine, the brain needs a chance to allow levels to return to normal, which can take as long as a few months

If you are having problems with ED, visit www.MichaelSKaplanMD.com for more information and to schedule a consultation.

This entry was posted in blog and tagged , , , , , by blogger.

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The Dr. Oz Show addresses Porn-induced ED

View Part 1 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
View Part 2 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
View Part 3 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
View Part 4 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

Extra segment: Dr. Andrew Kramer Shares Some Tips on ED

Also see: News Report on Porn-induced ED in Young Men


COMMENTS:

It's clear that all 3 panelists have dealt with porn-induced ED in their clinical practices. The show was about as good as one could expect, except for the comments by sexologist Ian Kerner, who ran an infomercial for porn to close out part 4. How inane is it to ramble on about the virtues of Internet porn at the end of a show about how Internet porn is now causing ED and loss of libido. He stated that 50% of marriages lack spice. Could Internet porn be the cause, rather than the cure, as it was for the couple on the show?

Weaknesses in the segment

Despite its many strengths, there are some weaknesses in the show:

Age-dependent advice - The couple on the show are married, and not in their early twenties. The doctors assure them that the man will recover his sexual performance within a month of no porn/masturbation. This may be so—assuming the man hasn't developed an addiction. However, most guys need more than a month, and guys who started early on Internet porn can need six to nine months to regain their sexual performance. See Young Porn Users Need Longer To Recover Their Mojo

No mention of addiction - The show ignores the possibility of addiction and its more stubborn, longer-lasting brain changes. Indeed, the sexologist on the panel irresponsibly, and without anything to back up his advice, encourages couples to return to porn use once the man has recovered. Unbelievable. Guys heal from a medical condition caused by Internet porn use, and a porn-loving sexologist tells them to return to its use? As a doctor familiar with addiction noted privately,

"As far as trying to control porn use, it's like trying to control cocaine use. Porn is not evolutionarily developed sex; it is, like cocaine, a supranormal stimulus. As such, it doesn't share well or leave easily. It likes to be the only camel in the tent."

Encouragingly, although the doctors on the panel didn't mention addiction, their explanations about "desensitization" accord with the public statement of the American Society of Addiction Medicine. It's certainly possible that not every guy who experiences porn-related ED has slipped into addiction, but he has definitely experienced brain changes that are "on the addiction slippery slope." Desensitization is an addiction-related brain change.

In any case, if someone has become an addict, he will not only need far longer to recover from the addiction-related brain changes, he is also unlikely ever to be able to use porn safely. If his brain changed in response to extreme stimuli once, there's no reason to think he is bullet-proof if he turns to such stimuli again.

Possible confusion - Although the urologist's explanations were excellent for the most part, he didn't specifically warn guys to stop watching porn during their time-out. While viewers may think that's self-evident, we see guys all the time on r/nofap who willing forego masturbation, but continue watching porn—without seeing any improvement in their symptoms. Dr. Kramer also advised men to consider "masturbating with their non-dominant hand" to improve sensitivity. That is dated advice. Today's young porn users tell us that they all learn to masturbate with their non-dominant hand, so they can mouse with their dominant hand. This is perhaps another indication that their top priority (sexual wiring) is the porn, not masturbation/climax.

No "flatline" warning - As stated earlier, the show doesn't address the fact that most younger men need far longer than a month of no porn/masturbation to reboot their brains. This young guy, for example, discusses how he needed nine months to recover fully.  Worse yet, many young guys go through a "flatline" of no libido, no erections and "shriveled" genitals during their recovery from ED. It can last weeks, or months, and many will be in this phase after just a month. Watching the segment, they might well conclude that they are "broken," when they simply need more time to restore their brain's normal pleasure response.

No discussion of teen brains - Teen brains are hyper-reactive to stimulation, and hyper-plastic. That is, they easily wire to new stimuli. Hopefully, a future Dr. Oz segment will focus on the plight of younger porn users and their symptoms. It's likely that many of their unique problems are related to the fact that they start out on super-stimulating highspeed during a critical period of brain development, and use it for years prior to attempting real sex. In early adulthood, as their brains grow less plastic, some find it tough to respond to real partners. See Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn

Sexual conditioning - Animal models are demonstrating that high-arousal states (produced by drugs that mimic dopamine) can alter an animal's sexual behavior—even to the point of changing his apparent sexual orientation. Today's highspeed porn encourages overconsumption as never before, and overuse appears to keep dopamine surging to the point of dysregulation in some users. Sure enough, some users are reporting escalation to erotica that doesn't match their sexual orientation. Interestingly, Parkinson's patients who have been prescribed drugs that mimic dopamine also report unexpected sexual tastes and fetishes.

Other symptoms ignored - The show, of course, also doesn't address the many other symptoms guys reverse as they restore their brains to normal: depression, social anxiety, lack of attraction to real partners, concentration problems, lack of motivation, escalation to unexpected porn tastes, and so forth. It is important for those affected to know that Internet porn use may be a factor in diverse symptoms.

Bravo, Dr. Oz!

Science marches on, and it's great to know that guys—who didn't need Viagra or implants, and whose problems didn't stem from performance anxiety or other emotional issues—are being diagnosed correctly and recovering their sexual performance and peace of mind.

Too Much Internet Porn May Cause Impotence. Urology professor Carlo Foresta (2011)

Porn effects may include erectile dysfunction

February, 2011

It may not make you go blind, but Italian scientists have identified a worrying side-effect of watching too much pornography.

Researchers said Thursday that young men who indulge in "excessive consumption" of Internet porn gradually become immune to explicit images, the ANSA news agency reported.

Over time, this can lead to a loss of libido, impotence and a notion of sex that is totally divorced from real-life relations.

"It starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection," said Carlo Foresta, head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAMS).

His team drew their conclusions from a survey of 28,000 Italian men which revealed that many became hooked on porn as early as 14, exhibiting symptoms of so-called "sexual anorexia" by the time they reached their mid-twenties.

There was some good news, however, as the condition was not necessarily permanent. "With proper assistance recovery is possible within a few months," Foresta said.

Other data presented at the SIAM'S annual conference in Rome suggested that Germans are the biggest consumers of online porn in Europe, with 34.5 percent of internet users logging on to watch smut.

France ranked second (33.6 percent), ahead of Spain (32.4 percent) and Italy (28.9 percent).

An Italian source included further statistics:  Of the most frequent users, 73% were men. Some people, 3.9%, start before they turn 13, rising to 5.9% in the 14-18 age bracket, 22.1% in the 25-34 bracket and 25.4% between the ages of 35 and 44. This falls off to 20.1% between 45 and 54 and declines to 12% among the over-55s.

Links to other articles on the SIAMS survey:

  1. Link to an Italian article on this survey
  2. Link to another Italian version
  3. Link to another Italian version
  4. Link to another Italian version
  5. Link to another Italian version

 

UPDATES

Since Feburary 2011, Dr. Foresta continues to study the effects of porn on men's sexuality and report his findings.

  • For example, the two articles below came out in 2012.
  • This 2014 PDF of a Foresta lecture, contains more observations and statistics, including a dramatic rise in percentage of teens reporting sexual problems and loss of libido. Foresta also mentions his upcoming study, "Sexuality media and new forms of sexual pathology sample 125 young males, 19-25 years". Italian name - "Sessualità mediatica e nuove forme di patologia sessuale Campione 125 giovani maschi"

 

Pornographic sites, warning young people: Italian is a two-user to adjust

ROME - Sex on the web? This can result in disorders of the intimate sphere, fantasies and impulses obsessive-compulsive disorder. A risk a young man out of two, which usually imbambola front of pornographic sites. About 60% of teenagers between 19 and 25 years old approached by the project for the prevention of Andrology Androlife (4,000 on the whole Italian territory), organized by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (Siams), has claimed to be a constant user of "hot site". The data were disclosed to the X National Conference of Siams going to Lecce.

The widespread habit among children ranges from 2 times a month to several times a week, with an average stay of 16 minutes in front of the monitor. The working group led by Carlo Foresta, head of the Service for the Pathology of Human Reproduction of the Hospital University of Padova, showed that 75% of users of portals with explicit sex scenes finds them stimulants, 14% is a 'habitual visitor of these sites and 3% complaint already an addiction. The team compared the Paduan real sexuality of these young users to porn sites with non-users.

What emerged was a different sexual behavior, in real life, between the two categories. The non-users 83% have a normal activity under the sheets, compared with only 70% of the users. Obvious differences in the loss of desire (13% vs 1% of the users of the other), the precocity of orgasm (13% of internet porn vs 9%). Among the most frequent visitors shows that 20% say multiple masturbatory activity even in the same day.

Addiction is not only visual, but going to take on the characteristics of sexual addiction real, caused by sexuality in the media. The young people who attend most internet sites have auto-eroticism more stringent, but less frequently seek forms of sexuality real. Sexuality media and behavioral consequences that can result from this new form of intimate relationships have been studied by the group led by Forest, who has analyzed the consequences of assiduous study of pornographic sites by comparing the habits of 2,000 adults aged between 20 and 35 with those of about 2,000 young 18 years.

Result: young people are more at risk of suffering the consequences of navigation red light on the Net. Analysis of data shows indeed a substantial difference of modes of behavior between adults and children. In adults, the study of sexuality media expresses a volunteer and stimulating sexual behavior, while in the young 18 year olds attendance is seen as routine and normal in 10% of cases reaching the traits of obsessive addiction. In young people frequenting pornography sites leads to a reduction of the search for real sexuality and a major activity of auto eroticism that in some cases assumes pathological features. Both young people and adults the excessive use of multimedia sexuality causes, compared to non-users, diseases of the sexual response in 25% of cases that occur with anorexia sex, orgasm disorders, erectile dysfunction.

17 November 2012 14:03 - Last Updated:


 

Online Sex: adolescents and women increasingly at risk addiction

Mariateresa Marino

More than seven million Italians who surf the sites and enjoying hard porn content: a number equal to 29 percent of total navigators.A fact that has seen an increase of 58 percent within five years.The Italian Society of Andrology Medical and Medicine of sexuality came from these numbers to make a specific investigation, monitoring between 2005 and 2010 a sample of 28 000 users, to analyze the impact that addiction has on porn sites sexual health.The study, led by Professor Charles Forest, President of the Siamsa and professor of Clinical Pathology at the University of Padua, was born, as the urologist says "the need to include a new clinical phenomenon, which involves mainly young people under 25 years: sexual anorexia ".

It appears from the Siamsa shows that the target of the navigation is in 73 percent of male cases in the remaining 27 percent female.The age group 'involved is that between 24 and 44 years."But the most worrying - Forest report - is that 10 percent of frequent online sex under 18 years. The initiation into the porn sites is already 14 years, the habit becomes very widespread from 25 to peaked between 35 and 44 years and then decline gradually. "

"Of the 50 boys who have come to our clinics for diseases of sexuality, decreased libido and erectile dysfunction - continues Professor Forest - 70 percent for years had the habit of frequenting pornographic sites very driven. The use of such everyday slowed the ripening brain images of sexuality, freed sex from affectivity and, even worse, canceled the real interest in sexuality. "

Sexuality on the Internet is cold and repetitive, kills fantasy and desire."Sexual Anorexia - explains Professor Forest - is a disorder in which completely lacks sexual desire, but not only. The person who suffers from an addiction to porn virtual, is devoid of erotic fantasies and physical stimuli. This is even more serious when you are dealing with teenagers who already suffer from these disorders, since the maturation of sexuality and emotional brain undergoes a sudden stop and a block that is likely to continue for years. "

Getting rid of the addiction?

"In our clinics we have experienced as a change in behavior of these young people had significant improvements: the complete abandonment of the sites hard, accompanied by the reading of books focusing on the relationship between sexuality, affectivity and imagination has contributed to the strengthening of a sexual healthy and responsible. "

The study of Siamsa joins previous research studies conducted by the Centre on the new dependencies "Nostos" of Senigallia, on a sample of 500 people."Very often in the scientific literature in Cybersex addiction, is also included in the pathological use of pornographic material online or Cyber-Porn Addiction - explains Lavenia, psychiatrist and head of the center Nostos - is important, however, to separate the two because sexual addiction In our opinion, the two antithetical phenomena have certain characteristics: interactivity in Cybersex, Cyber-Porn in liabilities. In the first case there is a preference for erotic chat, in the second users are attracted primarily by pornographic images. "

"These two phenomena - Lavenia added - there are also gender differences. From our studies has always emerged more women in chat rooms and greater male interest in pornography. In particular, in the category Cybersex addiction, 60 percent of users are women between 27 and 36 years, heterosexual, married (68%), university students (37%). Cyberporn In the category, 80 percent are male between 17 and 46 years, married and, in most cases, professionals. In general, we can say that in recent years, the female sex-dependence on the network has grown by 10-15 percent. "

One thing, this was also confirmed by a recent survey conducted by Quit Porn Addiction, a portal for those who abuse counseling in the pathological form of online porn.According to data from the UK site, including users who turn to the service, one in three are women, with an increasingly lower age threshold: teens, twenties, students and young workers.A subtle trap in which more and more women are likely to remain trapped.


 

NOTE: A few old blogs from 2011 continue to state that Dr. Foresta doesn't exist, and that the first press release is a hoax. As you can see from the above updates, and Dr Foresta's 2014 published lecture, the aforementioned blog posts are a hoax. Dr. Carlo Foresta is real (see this pubmed search) as is the conference described in the 2011 articles. In addition, the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe quoted and cited the 2011 survey in this motion for a resolution. Watch The Young Turks discuss this survey.

The Italian urologists are no longer alone as many other medical professionals are beginning to treat men who have porn-induced sexual dysfunction, see- Porn-Induced ED in the Media: Primarily Experts

Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect, by Ian Kerner PhD.

Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect

Ian Kerner

Easy access to internet porn and the sheer variety of novelty it contains have affected average guys who wouldn’t normally have a problem.

As a sex therapist and founder of Good in Bed, I’ve seen a sharp increase in men who suffer from a new syndrome I’ve dubbed “Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder,” or SADD. And the source of this problem is just a click away — too much internet porn.

Just as people with ADD are easily distracted, guys with SADD have become so accustomed to the high levels of visual novelty and stimulation that comes from internet porn that they’re unable to focus on real sex with a real woman. As a result, guys with SADD often find it difficult to maintain an erection during intercourse, or they experience delayed ejaculation and can only climax with manual or oral stimulation.

Bored in bed?

Men with SADD tend to find themselves getting bored or impatient during sex. They may be physiologically aroused and erect, but they’re not at peak mental arousal. Guys with SADD may also simply lack the mojo for real sex because they’re depleted from masturbation. They’re not running on a full tank, physically or mentally.

Believe it or not, I first became aware of SADD via the complaints of women who wondered why their guys couldn’t ejaculate (and were often faking it) or who noticed that their partners seemed disconnected or uninterested during sex. When I dug a little deeper, or talked to the guys themselves, I realized that these men were masturbating more than usual due to their easy access to internet porn. Sometimes, they were masturbating about the same as always, but hadn’t realized that their natural refractory period — the recovery time between erections — was increasing as they aged.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of masturbation. It helps a guy blow off some steam and is like a 30-second spa day. But easy access to internet porn and the sheer variety of novelty it contains have affected average guys who wouldn’t normally have a problem. Because of this, these men have rewired their brains to crave the instant gratification of a porn-enabled orgasm. This means that they’re developing what’s clinically referred to as an idiosyncratic masturbatory style: They’ve accustomed themselves to an intense type of physical stimulation that’s not approximated during real sex. Their overall levels of sexual desire for their partners are down, and they need to fantasize during real sex in order to maintain a full erection.

Think you suffer from SADD? Here's what to do...

What’s a guy with SADD to do?

First, give yourself a masturbation break. Save your mojo for your partner. If you’re single, decrease your frequency of masturbation. When you do masturbate, try using your non-dominant hand. For example, if you’re a righty, touch yourself with your left. You won’t be able to apply the same levels of physical intensity as you can with your dominant hand, so you won’t be as physically numbed to the sensations of intercourse.

Second, lay off the porn. When you masturbate, use your mind to create the pictures and try to recall single episodes of sex. Think of it as the difference between reading and watching TV. Use this opportunity to reconnect with your erotic history and your own catalog of sexy memories.

Increase the mental novelty with your partner: Share fantasies and experiment with role play. Before you have intercourse, get yourself to a point where you’re at peak physical and mental arousal. SADD doesn’t have to be sad for you or your partner. Step away from your computer and toward your bedroom, and you can put your attention back where it belongs — on your real sex life.

Ian Kerner, Ph.D, is a sexuality counselor and The New York Times best-selling author of numerous books for Harper Collins, including She Comes First. He is the founder of GoodInBed.com and most recently authored a guide to overcoming premature ejaculation.

 

 

Too Much Porn Contributing to ED: Urologist Fawad Zafar

Urologist Des Moines: Too Much Porn Contributing to ED

 Your Des Moines urologist Dr. Fawad Zafar warns that addiction to porn is contributing to an increase in the number of healthy, young men seeking medical treatment for erectile dysfunction (ED).

Porn-induced ED (PIED) is a comparatively new problem affecting a generation of men who have grown up with unlimited access to explicit pornographic material.  And having unrestricted access to the maximum stimulus that pornography provides can lead to a number of sexual dysfunctions, according to your urologist Des Moines.

Hundreds of men struggling with PIED have reported experiencing this problem in online addiction forums, some of which are receiving millions of hits per day.

A rising number of young men are turning to Viagra to rectify the problem, but the effort often proves useless because the real issue with PIED reigns in the brain. The problem is that the hormone released that enables that pleasurable state is part of the reward circuit in the brain and it can become desensitized to triggers.

Your urologist Des Moines explains that the compulsive need to find a better stimulus means that the brain’s pleasure center becomes numbed to sexual experiences that are considered to be normal, resulting in a lack of arousal and erectile issues with partners in real life.

Many men sharing their experiences online have spoken of similar issues, explaining that their addiction has resulted in feelings of isolation, depression and a lack of confidence.

As a result, men suffering from PIED and addiction are encouraging each other to quit the habit and begin rewiring their brain into being stimulated by natural sexual triggers.  Those in the back-to-basics stage have reported much higher sensitivity to more understated sexual triggers such as touch and smell.

Many others have told your urologist Des Moines that the ‘rebooting’ journey as life-changing, as it affects not only their sex lives, but their entire self-esteem.  Good sex should be about having fun, it’s about being able to express yourself and share yourself in a safe, loving, exciting or tender way; it’s not about imitating what you see on a computer screen.

Posted on May 14, 2014 – 6:36 pm in Erectile Dysfunction

Urologist Lim Huat Chye: Pornography can cause erectile dysfunction for young men (2012)

Young men who have the habit of watching porn may be putting an end to their real sex lives, experts warn.

Gleneagles Hospital urologist Doctor Lim Huat Chye told Shin Min Daily News that men who watch too much pornography can find it increasingly difficult to be satisfied when having sex. In time, these men might lose their appetite for sex and suffer from erectile dysfunction as a result.

Dr Lim says that he sees as many as four or five such cases in his clinic every year.

Aside from the risk of losing interest in sex, men who watch pornography might also become addicted to it, he added.

This is harmful as the addict can become easily worn out, suffer from insomnia and face problems trying to concentrate or focus at work.

The same topic has also sprung up all over the Internet, with many netizens questioning whether easy access to Internet porn can lead to an increasing need for more extreme sex methods.

Experts quoted in various Internet portals suggest that those who suffer from porn-induced erectile dysfunction may need up to 12 weeks to recover. They need to avoid watching erotic material for a start.

LINK - YourHealth, Thursday, Dec 27, 2012

Watching porn can cause male sexual dysfunction. Urologists David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza (2014)

Can Watching Too Much Porn Really Lead to Erectile Dysfunction?

Is there such a thing as watching too much porn?  Absolutely.  Too much of anything can turn into an addiction, and as everyone knows, addictions are hard to overcome.  There have been many relationships and even marriages that have been torn apart because one party has an addiction to porn.  When it comes to a man having this addiction, the problem gets worse because he will often end up suffering from erectile dysfunction, which only complicates the porn addiction.

Why do men watch porn?

The answer is simple; they have sexual desires that are fulfilled by watching women/men or both take part in sexual activities.

How does watching porn lead to ED?

A representative of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine states watching porn excessively “can cause male sexual dysfunction by lowering libido and eventually leading to an inability to get an erection.”

And according to David B. Samadi, M.D., the “problem [is] in the brain, not the penis.”  Samadi goes on to say that even though porn-induced ED can happen to anyone, it’s primarily seen in teenagers and men in their 20s.

Muhammed Mirza, M.D., says that even though a large percentage of the patients he sees suffer from ED as a result of a medical-related condition, such as diabetes, about 15 to 20 percent of the patients have ED due to too much porn consumption.

Does it matter what type of porn is watched?

Samadi believes that certain types of porn lead to more severe forms of ED.  Online pornography for example tends to be more hardcore, which can worsen a man’s ED issues.  Furthermore, this type of pornography is available 24/7.  It’s because of porn that both men and women sometimes get to a point in which they have unrealistic expectations in the bedroom.

It can be helpful to think of porn-induced ED as being similar to alcoholism, or any drug addiction.  Over time, the user builds up a tolerance, and it takes more and more of the substance to give off the same effect.  With porn, the more it’s watched, the harder it will be for it to cause arousal in a man.  And as a result, he sometimes will get to a point where he can no longer sustain an erection, otherwise known as having ED.

Is there a way to treat porn-induced ED?

Since the penis is not the problem with porn-induced ED, there’s no real way to treat the condition with medication.  However, if a person watches porn because he’s depressed or suffers from anxiety, these conditions can be treated with medication, which could possibly deter him from watching porn, thus helping him overcome his issues with ED.

For most men, a four to six week recovery program is suggested in which they take part in certain activities “to desensitize certain receptors in the brain.”

As with any type of addiction, watching porn excessively does not come with any easy fix, but it’s most certainly a condition that is treatable.

 

Why porn and masturbation can be too much of a good thing (Dr. Elizabeth Waterman)

Late night porn userLike fat, salt and booze, masturbation is one of those touchy health-related topics for which the latest medical news always seem to contradict the advice of the past. Eat no fat! Or, just good fat – but not too much! But not too little, either! And hey, salt is a killer – but it can be deadly if you don't eat it! Such is the progress of science.

Similarly, studies have long shown that masturbation is perfectly normal and can even be a physically healthy activity – in middle-aged men it cuts the risk of prostate cancer. It can also reduce anxiety, and thereby help restore stress-racked immune systems. And yet according to experts, there is now emerging evidence suggesting that overly frequent masturbation – aroused by the vast cornucopia of freely available porn we enjoy today – is leading to serious cases of erectile dysfunction (ED).

That may sound like anti-onanistic propaganda, but medical professionals say that masturbating too much is actually a pretty standard form of addiction, but it's worsened by pornography. "When people start watching porn, there is a huge flood of dopamine in the brain," explains Dr. Elizabeth Waterman, a psychologist at Morningside Recovery Center in Newport California. "Over time, the receptors that were once very sensitive become less sensitive, and normal physical intimacy does not produce enough dopamine to stimulate the dopamine receptors." In other words, the more porn you watch, the more – and harder and more graphic – porn you need in order to get it up. If the trend continues, men can find themselves physically unable to maintain an erection, much less enjoy sexual contact with another person.

Not surprisingly, porn-induced ED can create further performance-anxiety concerns, compounding into a problem that is both biological and psychological. "People can start developing real self-confidence issues," Dr. Waterman says. "They can feel irritable, sleepless, frustrated, anxious. One can lose relationships quite easily from it." According to Dr. Waterman, there isn't a magic number that indicates you are masturbating too frequently. Even masturbating every day isn't necessarily a problem; it's conditional – only if it's interfering with your work, your social life, or your sex life (i.e., erectile dysfunction) should you be concerned. Fortunately, if you do have an issue, the cure is simple: Stop watching porn and resist the urge to masturbate as much as possible. Within six to 12 weeks your brain will rebound to a more typical dopamine sensitivity (though recovery time varies). "Some people's brains reach homeostasis [or, physiological equilibrium] much quicker," Dr. Waterman explains. "Time is your best friend when it comes to reestablishing homeostasis in the brain."

The rub, as it were, is that during their recovery period, most men experience a libido flatline, possibly for up to several weeks depending on the severity of addiction. But Dr. Waterman assures that the effect is temporary and eventually passes. She advises that the key to recovering is holding yourself accountable, but also remembering that recovery is a process, so you shouldn't feel like a jerk if you aren't a complete saint. "If you do slip up, it's not the end of the world."

 
 

YBOP review of "The New Naked" by urologist Harry Fisch, MD

Eminent urologist Harry Fisch, MD has performed a much needed service by saying some things that need to be said about missing pieces in today's naive understanding of human sexuality. For example, he addresses the adverse effects of excessive internet porn use on men's sexual function and expectations, as well as the adverse effects of too much sex toy use in women. He also advises people who need help to get it from therapists who actually understand sexual addiction. (Many sexologists still deny its existence!)

Here are some excerpts from "The New Naked":

"[Porn], something that is supposed to stimulate and arouse men (or women) sexually can actually destroy their overall libido and performance. So why isn't anyone talking about the effect on sexual performance ...? Probably because they flunked sex ed for grownups. They're discussing why a guy watches it--and not what happens to his penis when he watches."

"When I say that porn is killing America's sexual behavior, I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating."

" Porn addiction ... is far more common than most people think."

" Look for a sex therapist experienced with porn addiction and sexual dysfunction."

"I can tell how much porn a man watches as soon as he starts talking candidly about any sexual dysfunction he has."

" A man who masturbates frequently can soon develop erection problems when he's with his partner. Add porn to the mix, and he can become unable to have sex."

"A penis that has grown accustomed to a particular kind of sensation leading to rapid ejaculation will not work the same way when it's aroused differently. Orgasm is delayed or doesn't happen at all."

"What drives me crazy is that so many teenage boys have their first relationship not with a person, but with what they're watching on their computers. ... The only way to learn about women is to spend a lot of time with them. And the only way to get really good at having sex is by having real sex with real women."

"I don't think [proposing a vibrator is] good advice for those who are sexually active, because the ultimate goal is for them to have orgasms with their partners, not their sex toys. The vibrator is so good at stimulating the clitoris that if you use it regularly, you may soon become unable to orgasm without it. ...The goal with any sexual relationship is to enjoy it together, not to enjoy yourself more than the relationship. ...This one of the big disagreements I have with sex therapists."

"Masturbation can become an enormous problem in your relationship if one partner gets so used to self-pleasuring that he or she can't get aroused by regular sex anymore."

Fisch also has insightful things to say about putting relationships back on track, but this review is already long enough.

My one criticism of this book is its style. In my view it is a bit too breezy for the seriousness of the material. But no book is perfect, and the content is sound.

 

Dopamine agonists instead of ED meds - a thread on YBR

See this discussion of dopamine agonists for porn-induced ED

Dopamine agonists instead of ED meds

 

HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and/or libido are decreasing (Flatline)

"The most common path people seem to have is Hyper-Arousal --> Flatline --> Natural Arousal, where the final end is a natural, healthy attraction/drive towards women that didn't exist at the beginning. Now there are quite a few variations on this, but congrats on getting out of the flatline." (link)

This is a typical phase of recovery in men who have porn-related erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation or just plain porn addiction. We call it “flatlining.” It’s temporary, but it can be very disconcerting, because it makes stopping porn seem like the cause of ED instead of the solution. (See accounts below and these threads - Gentlemen, why do flatlines scare us so much?, List all the flatline symptoms?, Anyone else asexual now?)

Why this happens, no one knows. It seems reasonable that your brain has conditioned (rewired) itself to require a certain level, and type, of sexual stimulation - when it's removed your libido drops. (Read this thread in which guys suspect they have been living in a flatline for years)

Physiologically it's likely related to neurochemical events occurring during withdrawal from porn addiction. It's well known that during withdrawal from an addiction dopamine drops even further, and stress hormones such as CRF and norepinephrine rise. This combo can kill libido.

With less dopamine, the further desensitized reward circuit provides insufficient stimulation the brain's erection centers (hypothalamus). Less stimulation results in fewer impulses traveling down the spinal cord to reach the penis.

Although all addictions share the same fundamental brain changes, it's clear that Internet Porn addiction can affect brain circuits governing sexuality, as witnessed by the many reports of morphing sexual tastes, loss of libido, and sexual dysfunctions. My hypothesis is that deeper brain structures governing male sexual behavior and erections (the hypothalamus) are altered by a long standing porn addiction.

Whatever the cause, it's a sign that porn use has changed your brain circuits. This is clear as abstinence in otherwise healthy young men is not associated with a severe drop in libido (see Seinfeld).

The good news is that it will pass, and your libido will come roaring back. Everyone's recovery is a bit different, though, and it is not necessarily linear. Even after you start to notice signs of life, it's quite normal to see them followed by phases of sleepy-libido before you are completely back to normal. A few men with longer reboots experience a return of libido for a few weeks, followed by a few weeks of flat-lining libido.

The bad news is that this unnerving “flatline” phase can last weeks to months. However, we know of no one whose sexual performance issues are related to heavy porn use, who hasn’t ultimately improved—provided that he avoids intense sexual stimulation (ideally PMO and sexual fantasy) while allowing his brain to return to normal sensitivity. For the science behind your condition, and why it’s necessary to avoid intense stimulation, watch this video series Erectile Dysfunction and Porn.

If you want to shorten the misery, here are some tips that others have recommended:

Be consistent.

Those who recover fastest (“reboot”), are consistent in avoiding porn, sexual fantasy, sexting with Facebook hotties, and drastically reduce or eliminate masturbation & orgasm. If you choose to mix in occasional orgasm with a partner, that’s great, but some men find it sets them back early in their reboot. At first, any orgasm or intense arousal can trigger a powerful “chaser effect," and the result is a porn binge, which slows recovery. If you can masturbate based on physical sensations alone, without intense stimulation, it is less problematic—especially later in the process.

Edging to porn without orgasm is particularly detrimental, because 1) porn is the cause of ED, and, 2) dopamine levels are elevated for very long periods, which can lead to desensitization. Edging, with or without porn, is far worse than simply ejaculating and then moving to other activities (see - What if I masturbate (edge) or watch porn without orgasm?). One man reported that he ejaculated only once every ten days (because he saw benefits from conserving his sexual energy). Yet he still watched Internet porn every day…and developed ED.

Do not test.

When your libido flatlines, or you have other symptoms, such as “lifeless penis,” it is easy to panic and want to test yourself with porn to see if you can still force an erection. This tends to slow your recovery. Be courageous and patient. Remain in “The Void” until your body gives you signs that your brain and sexual responsiveness are back to normal.

Forcing or "checking" your erection process = pretty much worse thing you can do - 9 out of 10 times it's not up to expectations and ends up stressing you out.  I mean lets be honest your doing it not for anything sexual but just to check your erection, which means you really aren't thinking in a sexual fashion, should your penis really get hard to begin with?  The more you break down how faulty the logic is to "check" yourself, the better you'll understand that it serves zero purpose and usually just causes you to be down the rest of the day. (from this thread: Forced erection)

Do not overdo it when the moment arrives.

You may want to take it easy once you decide to reintroduce regular ejaculation. Several ejaculations in a row have sent guys back into a flatline. A vague recommendation, I know. If you severely sprained your ankle, does it make sense to  play six hours of full court basketball the day after you stop using crutches? A thread on orgasms throwing guys back into a flatline - just when i thought i was out of the woods...

Do not compare yourself with others.

It’s true that those who started masturbating long before high-speed Internet porn, and those who only started watching high-speed fairly recently tend to recover from porn-related sexual performance problems the quickest.

However, the severity of the problem is also tied to less tangible factors. First, brains differ in their sensitivity and response to excess dopamine (stimulation). Your brain may have adapted more quickly, and may need more time to return to balance. Second, the numbed pleasure response, which is the cause of your problem, doesn't appear to be directly tied to hours of viewing according to research. It's tied to "intensity of experience."

This can obviously vary for people. This guy even got lucky and recovered without much in the way of symptoms:

I really never had any withdrawal symptoms . I may have had blue balls for 10 minutes once. Other than those ten minutes, nothing. ED is as bad as it gets...always working to stay hard, not enjoying the sex. Man, I am glad to be over it.

Another guy:

Not everyone has a flatline, and it doesn't always begin around the same time. Most have it happen after about a week, but others (myself included) may have it much later. For the longest time I figured I wouldn't have one at all, but I ended up having a short one for most of week 7. It can also vary wildly in terms of length. There are many theories about why one experiences the flatline, but nothing is certain. Personally, I believe the flatline is a transition stage as you start giving up on the porn and stop thinking about it at all. Because you aren't sensitized to real-world cues yet, the libido plummets as neither real-world nor porn thoughts stimulate your brain. (I really noted a strong correlation between the beginning of my flatline and the disappearance of any porn-related cravings.)

If recovery is taking a long time and you started on highspeed porn early in your life...

Consider some of these suggestions.

Flat lineIf you need a laugh: The Time I Doubled My IQ (Dilbert's creator)

Flatline Stories (we have seen countless of the same):

Age 24 - ED healed, but sex initiated a 7-week flatline. I am finally healed


Almost 5 months in, my thoughts on flatlining

A fellow NoFapper messaged me asking about my experience with flatlining, because he's going through it right now and hates it. I figured I'd write my response here in case others find it handy:

Flatlining has actually turned out to be a godsend for me.

It would have been a lot tougher to make it to 147 days if it wasn't for me coasting through a large part of it because of the flatline. I was flatlining probably through half to two-thirds of my current streak. It's like your best friend in this game.

It actually tells me I'm doing something right. For the first time since I started masturbating, I feel like I'm on top of my sexual arousal in non-sexual situations! Flatlining just means you're not feeling turned on for no goddamn reason (which only happens because without NoFap you realize sexual release is just a few strokes away at any time).

70 days of flatline! There was simply nothing happening under my belt, my D was totally dead! Age 20 - ED: For the first time in many years, I was hard (after a 2 month flatline)

That's what caused me to masturbate too much in the first place. I'd be sitting on my computer or doing some work and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I'd feel this intense feeling arise that compelled me towards seeking orgasm. I wasn't even thinking about anything sexual prior to that moment! So I would just masturbate, simply scratching the itch. But in these last 5 months, during the flatlining periods, sometimes a couple of days would go by and it wouldn't even occur to me to jerk it, and rightly so because in those times I wasn't around an attractive woman or in a sexual situation.

But don't worry, you haven't lost any of your libido or mojo.

Here's the best part: When I'm in a sexual situation or with a woman, or occassionally when I let my mind wander into the realm of sexual fantasies (not a good idea, makes things more difficult for you), my arousal feels so much richer and deeper, a fuller experience, and far more sexy. Feels damn good. Just trust that when you are with a girl, your erection will be there, right on cue, enthusiastic as ever and harder than ever before. In fact, I'm getting so turned on these days that just grinding on a woman is enough to make me cum. Yes, I've jizzed in my pants with more than one girl during NoFap :)

If you're worried about losing the energy and desire to go out and meet women because you're less horny now, it's got little to do with your flatline and more to do with your lifestyle. I suggest that you take advantage of other things to trigger your horniness.

The most important thing is start putting yourself in front of women. Go out to social events, or nightclubs, or meet friends of friends, or join evening extra-curricular classes and lessons. Even if you're 'not feeling horny anymore', I bet that once you start actually interacting with women more, your body will start to kick into high gear and the horniness will start to come back as your body responds to the women around you. Start talking to them, teasing them, laughing with them, flirting with them, and your body will reward you with the beautifully natural desire to put your dick in them.

I find I'm least horny when I'm not meeting women in the course of my daily life, because now with no promise of sexual release in my own hands and no women around me, what else is my mind to do but shut off its own arousal? It's like when you go without food for a while, first you're really hungry then you stop being hungry. Your body adapts. Put a nice steak dinner in front of you and all of a sudden that hunger comes right back.

If you're flatlining, put some real life women, sexy women, in front of you and tell me you're still not feeling the horniness.

And as much as it is said on this subreddit, do work your body!

Lift weights, or even cardio is better than nothing. And consider kegel exercises. All of these things get your mojo going, I don't know why or how, all I know is they do work. There were times where I'd sit at home and do nothing, and blamed only NoFap for my flatline. Now that I'm working my body hard, I'm finding the flatline is diminishing (making NoFap tougher for me). Now when I see attractive girls on the street, I get that electric feeling buzzing through my body again.

Let's just say that flatlining were to occur in cycles, and I dip in and out of flatline phases for as long as I NoFap, I'd never use it as a reason to quit NoFap...I'm enjoying the feeling of self-discipline too much.

For people who are considering masturbating once a week or so in order to remove the flatline, realize how tough that actually is.

I think people who masturbate exactly once a week have way more discipline than me, even though I'm almost at 5 months. Because those people will never get to the flatline phase, and will be in a constant 'chaser effect' phase. I'd much rather not make my life about constantly fighting the desire to masturbate. I'd rather be in an onoing 'flatline' phase (I'm putting it in quotes now quite deliberately), but where everytime I'm in a situation with sexual overtones my sexual response is always there and even more potent than it would have been pre-NoFap. These ideas of masturbating once a week were something I had too, then I realized these they were just rationalizations caused by 2 things: horniness and self-sabotage.

Don't let your horniness get the better of you under the guise of eliminating the flatline to help you meet more women, that's you trying to sabotage yourself.

If you've told yourself you're going to do NoFap, then just do it, flatline or not.


Things seem more.. More REAL!!

As stated above, things are more REAL. More vivid! It's crazy. As soon as I started NOFAP I hit a MAJOR flatline. I'm talking anxiety, depression, dull, crappy mood. No drive to do anything. Music and videogames were not even enjoyable and negative thoughts were ramped 24/7. It got better as time went on. I'm on day 46, I just created an account to tell you guys.. LIFE DOES GET BETTER.

Maybe you are questioning the point of NOfap, I mean we all know, it's easier just to give up right? But no, push through the hard points. It gets better. The past few days I have been feeling much better. Sex drive is back, excitement and joy for life is back full-force, I feel like I did as a young teenage boy. Life is just awesome.

Allow your brain to Re-wire to REAL stimulus. Hanging with friends, working out, going hiking, natural things we are made to ENJOY are now enjoyable. Start on healthy eating, cold showers & weightlifting. Don't forget meditation. Things do improve, I promise.


My flaccid size has decreased dramatically. Since the second or third day since starting this (I'm 30+ days in now), I haven't had any morning response. I don't know if it's endocrine or neurologically driven.


(Age 24) Next 6 weeks - FLATLINE this was the worst. It felt like someone had "pulled the plug." My little man felt lifeless and dead it was scary! I kept reading posts about the flatline to keep me encouraged that I was gonna come out of it. And I did! Had my first wet dream in years and it was amazing. Then I felt back to normal. So please don't give in. The flatline will end. http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/age-24-90-days-life-much-improved


After a few days of brain tantrums (cravings), flatline for several weeks. Basically I just felt totally indifferent about girls, sex, everything. There’s a little nagging voice from the PMO beast that nagged at me in the back of my mind, but mostly, I just didn’t care. And my penis was just very lifeless and small. It was like somebody just pulled the plug on whatever machines provides my sex drive. No libido at all.


I flatlined for 3 weeks. My penis was completely dead and useless, but now it's big and firm.


Day 6 - As for raw, physical observations regarding my penis; since the start of my streak, I haven't had one full erection, no morning wood, and it looks smaller (like when it's cold out or when you get out of the shower).


I think I have been through about three flatlines so far. To describe them is easy. It's a cloudy, depressing feeling most of the time, with a very flaccid penis. I would say it feels like sitting in darkness for a long time. Each one has lasted about a week and an half with brief periods of peace in between. I am really hoping this was my last one. My erections are back to 85-90%.


It has been 2 weeks since I used porn or orgasmed. I just had sex with my girlfriend, and wasn't feeling very turned on. Lackluster erection and early ejaculation. I used to be rock hard for hours a few years ago! Will this get better? I'm worried.[A few days later] It really helped to clarify how common these symptoms are! I am seeing positive signs: morning wood twice and a middle-of-the-night erection last night, both of which felt about 70-80 percent full! It's great to see these physical changes early.

I'm also past the dead penis stage, which was pretty weird. My penis just feels fuller at all times. I am beginning to feel stimulated and get half hard without touching, and only thinking about my girlfriend. All good signs; I'm on the yellow brick road!


After 1 week, it felt as if my penis had no life. That it basically was dead. I was afraid as hell. But after two-three weeks, the morning erections started returning. They were not strong at all (Only like 20% strong) but they have improved and I would say they regularly are around 70% [at one month] .


Over 60 days...No Libido 

As I write this, I'm 63 days into nofap and I have seen some positive signs throughout my journey. I started mainly because of ED as well as finding myself using porn as a crutch to have sex with women. I've had sex infrequently (maybe 4 or 5 times) and i enjoyed it very much. I noticed I was much more sensitive and i felt very in the moment....not withdraw, not thinking of porn. At times, I've also had very strong erections when I wake up in the morning.

One thing I have not experienced yet is my "real" libido coming back. Throughout the whole journey, I have not been horny. The times I have had sex I was not in the mood although my partner eventually got me there. On top of this, last week I started noticing that I was flatlining again (this is the second time during nofap) to the point where my penis felt lifeless.

I just wanted to post somewhat of a status update and see how my experiences compare to others'. I know everybody is different, and that's what I'm interested in.


[Age 37, Day 40 no PMO] For me the flatline thing first went for about 20 days. Then there was a super-intense urge to O. I would feel drunk on horniness, but wouldn't have an erection. Some days, if I wore silk boxers and drove on a bumpy road, I would feel like I might have an O while driving, even though I didn't have an erection at all. Just these waves of warm, erectionless horniness.

Just observing, it seems to me that these washes of total horniness without an erection are some kind of leftover process from watching porn. When I first watched porn, I felt like I was going to have an O without an erection. That's how powerful an effect the porn had on me. I think my brain probably just dumped an overdose of dopamine, and yeah it certainly feels great.

I'm guessing the tolerance is way up there for people who have watched porn for years, and we don't feel this wash anymore. They need the porn-level stimulation just to function, like a junkie who needs drugs just to feel like they are at their own baseline.So anyway, after will-powering through a few days of intense desire for an O, I went into a sort of a flatline again, for a few weeks. There is something ok about this.

Actually, now I have to say I think it's a good idea to be ok with the flatline. Here is why. We have been obsessed with sexual imagery. Not just imagery, but forms of stimulation which don't exist in real life. In porn the camera moves around, one scene cuts to the next, magical orgies, etc.

Our flatline comes because we are not yet re-acclimated to real life. In real life we get aroused because we are sitting next to our lady at the movie theater and she is saying intelligent things and playing with her hair, or because she keeps taking sips of cranberry juice and fluttering her eyelashes, or we are just thinking about making out with our girl on the couch.

So, we need the flatline period to get from artificial dopamine overdose levels back to being able to get aroused by the real world. And over the past few days I have been. I've noticed all through this process there have been fairly regular erections in the morning, though generally they are on the weak side and only last a few seconds after I wake up.

But these past five days or so, I've been waking up with fairly normal fantasies in my head and the erections have lasted for quite some time. They've also started happening at random times, while driving and not thinking about anything.


One thing I REALLY hate about beginning a reboot is that the balls tend to get really, really small before they start to get big again. A lot of the time it feels like they're trying to crawl back into my body. Surely as I've stopped emptying them, they should maybe at least stay the same size, not shrivel?


(Age 38 - Day 60) When I go noPMO, there is a period in which my penis feels like a cold dead withered fish. It's small, nothing seems to stimulate it, and it actually looks white and dead. It's a little nerve-wracking. Right now, after 60 days, I'm getting spontaneous and huge erections. It comes and goes though. Last night, it had the cold dead fish syndrome again. It's still kind of in that phase, but some stimulation will help it grow a little. However, I pretty much always wake up with morning wood now. Hardness and duration vary. A few weeks ago I had an erection in the morning that was probably the biggest, strongest thing I've had in years. I was amazed.


(Day 12) I'm still flat lining, my penis is unresponsive and small but I knew that was to be expected going into this so I'm not too worried and honestly I'm enjoying not being ruled my my PMO cravings.


Shrinkage is a common experience and pretty scary while your member looks like it's getting reabsorbed into your pelvis. After a while things return to normal and maybe even improve. Hard to tell unless maybe you're measuring with calipers etc. In sum, don't worry about it. It is definitely part of the process.


[Report on symptoms after a month of rebooting]-ED (Working on it with some progress)- No morning erections (Some progress)- Cold penis (Gone)


I’m desperate. My penis is dead and my libido is dead after 3 weeks, is this normal? I'm getting so depressed. I think I’m worse than before, doing no PMO. I’ve used lots of porn stimulation, but with time it caused me ED. I’m desperate and fear to lose my 8-year relationship.


My libido kind of plummeted this week (week 10). The problem I had a few weeks ago, where my penis retracted itself appearing like I just had a cold shower, came back. I'm not stressing about it though, I figure it's just another phase in my recovery. (Read his full rebooting account.)


[Day 35] I never realized how serious my ED problem was until I came to this site. My penis feels so tiny and lifeless in general right now, which worries me a little bit.


I've noticed the 'dead penis' syndrome. After about 4-5 days my libido is absolutely shot and my penis shrivels up to nothing. It's terrifying actually.


I wake up every morning hoping there is something...anything....but nope. Day after day there is just nothingness. I felt better fighting The Urge because at least I knew there was something going on, but there is no Urge now. Also, does anyone feel that their penis feels cold? Or maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me.


My penis is limp. I get random erections, but it's extremely dead..lol, if that makes any sense. Like it's just there. It's shrinks a lot. And I don't know why. I can have sex if the time comes around, but when I'm not aroused, it just goes completely dead!!!


Apart from mild headaches and restless sleep, I haven't had the withdrawal symptoms many people mention. Instead, I feel nothing. It's like I just don't have a libido. No morning wood. No wet dreams. No spontaneous erections. No cravings. Haven't been horny. I've had opportunities to have sex but my body is not responding.

I'm taking tango classes, so I'm reasonably social but still no sign of my libido. I can dance with a beautiful girl and have no physical reaction whatsoever. I'm aware cerebrally that a girl is attractive, but I don't feel it physically.


The softness and shriveling are absolutely part of it. I would go a week or so no PMO and then give in because I was so horny, or else I would do PM just in hopes it would charge up my libido. This only made things worse. You will have to go through some weeks—some people go months—where you are worried that your libido is going away forever and even more worried your penis is getting so small you think it's retracting into your stomach like the head of turtle. It's terrifying. It really is.


Age 34 - 8 years of ED (graphs showing progress over several months)

The weeks where the my daily boners were low I found to be the hardest weeks of the process. These are the "flatlines," and it's very easy to turn back to porn just to try and get your daily boner count back up. You start thinking that maybe this isn't working, but I'm telling you, these are the most important times to stick to your resolve.


I wanted to be with girls, as my solo sexual experiences were just depressing. So I decided to quit masturbation and said to myself, "Orgasms could only come from girls." This forced me to go out approach, and flirt with, girls. One side-effect of the 'I am not allowed to masturbate' is that I stopped watching porn. I didn't know about this website or porn addictions at this point, so I was sort of giving up PMO by accident.

I was surprised. I quickly started to feel attraction for girls. I was horny and knowing I could only get sexual gratification from a girl (my self-imposed rule) started to actively approach and pursue girls. I met this amazing girl one night when clubbing. We had a surreal connection, with stupidly high levels of attraction, kissing, grinding, and feeling each other's bodies all over on the dance floor. I asked her to come back with me that night, but we said she didn't know me enough. I went home and despite wanting some release, didn't allow myself to masturbate.

We met again and ended up in her room. I was nervous, as it had been so long since I had been in bed with a girl. We kissed passionately and undressed each other, but I wasn't getting an erection. Nothing. In fact, my dick was tiny and completely limp. Nothing she did had any effect. She was really understanding, and said "It's your body there is nothing to be ashamed of".

She was totally comfortable with her own body, and loved being naked. We spent the whole night lying naked together talking, relaxed and comfortable. It felt great.

The next day I got home and went to my room to masturbate to see if everything was still working. The experience was disconcerting. First, I struggled to get hard, and then when I did I would lose it. It took about 1.5 hours before I had an orgasm, using the most intense fantasy and hand action I knew.

At this point, I assumed that abstaining from masturbation was not a good thing! No PMO forced me to meet girls—but it also seemed to kill my erections. A Catch 22. (I didn't know about rebooting, flatlining etc.)


[Two weeks since porn use and orgasm] I feel more relaxed, but my penis is extremely shrunken and so are my testicles. I don't know why, but they are.


It's amazing how the great libido pendulum swings around. The last week or so, as I have been purging sexual fantasy out of my mind and dealing with the grubby withdrawals from that, I have felt lost, lonely, confused, almost asexual, worried, anxious and depressed. The only thing that was keeping me going was faith in my creator, nature and in the reboot process.

Getting fantasy out of your system starts out as a hard task. It starts to get easier after a while. Then you notice that your libido starts to completely depart from you, even in your mind. You start to lose all desire for sex. At that point, I started to panic, I tried to force fantasy with little to no results on the penis. Many times I would try to fantasize and I had a hard time constructing a fantasy at all. It was like a skill that I was losing the ability for. At some point I just completely let go. I figured if fantasy was going to be that hard to conjure, I might as well just relax and let it truly pass away.

This results in a flatline of the libido, both in the pants and in the brain (was scaring the SH*T out of me).

But, as I said in my last post, the night is darkest before the dawn...Today was incredible! For the first time since I can remember, probably when I was 23 or so, I had spontaneous erections in public induced by nothing more than the presence of beautiful women. I felt like an animal! But in a good way! I knew something was different on my drive into town. I saw a woman jogging and suddenly I felt a rush of blood down there. I wasn't fantasizing at all; it just happened. I saw another woman and it happened again, only stronger. And another and again and stronger still.

What was going on?

I was in orientation for my new job and there were quite a few very well dressed hotties in the room - one was sitting next to me. About five minutes into one of the presentations (I was actually paying attention believe it or not), the girl next to me started playing with her hair. I was instantly aroused - I couldn't help it! There were probably a total of 5 very attractive women in my field of view, and I started really noticing them. Some were making eye contact and some weren't. I started feeling like a damn baboon! Before I knew it, SSHHWWWIINNG! We have liftoff!

The funny thing is, I was capable of paying adequate attention to the presentations while covering up my boner with my books. I had probably a 50% 60% erection for about a total of half an hour or more during the pres. NO fantasy, truly spontaneous - just from looking and eye contact. There were probably times where it spiked up to about 80% which was enough to cause the books to start jumping up and down (I am a compulsive PC muscle flexer lol!). I scooted back in my chair and sat forward to cage the madness. All day I have felt as horny as ever. It probably has something to do with being at Vanderbilt all day surrounded by angels.

Seriously guys, I am 30 and, until I discovered my PMO addiction and this site, I was convinced that this level of virility was simply gone with age. I was buying in to all that western medicine corporate propaganda with viagra commercials starring guys in their 30's.

Have you all noticed that? It seems that lately viagra and cialis have been targeting younger and younger guys. Anyway, it is all BULLSHIT! Though the great libido pendulum in my brain is not likely done with all of its bouncing around, I am seeing dramatic improvement.

Today was simply incredible. 48 days and pressing on. I plan to go 90 days or until I feel like the improvements have reached a general plateau.


I stopped PMO over 2 weeks ago, and to my surprise, I have had literally no cravings for porn at all. It seems like I've jumped straight into flatlining?? I've had some tiny flashes of horniness here and there, but they are very few and far in between. I have only had 2 strong erections in the last 16 days, and one I believe was caused by a semi-awake dream of porn-related images, which I couldn't really control. Otherwise I have been as limp as a noodle.


This cold turkey thing is just so brutal. Seriously, it's almost like my dick freezes off, like some necro-organ or something.


(Day 52) Today, after about six weeks of what seemed like the flatline which people talk about, I was hit with the strongest and most persistent urge of the war so far. It was like a sucker punch from George Foreman. Thank God I was at work and keeping busy when this wrecking ball hit me, for I would surely have fallen if alone at home. For almost the entire work day, sexual thoughts were constantly entering my mind. That in itself is not so peculiar, but the ferocity with which it consumed me was precisely that. The fiercest erections threatened to puncture my dress pants -- erections unlike any I experienced in the midst of my addiction -- a blessing but also a curse. Many times I had to raise myself off my chair to vainly relieve some of the undue pressure in my loins and what I assume is the area of the prostate.

It was a battle that subsided eventually, and while I never touched myself (I was at work for crying out loud), I certainly edged in my mind, considering how I let the sexual thoughts drag on unnecessarily. I will not be resetting my badge, but I think it's essential to point out that edging always begins in the mind. There is always a mental submission to the urge that precedes the physical submission. I gave in mentally, and only my temporary circumstances prevented it from maturing into physical fruition.

One positive thing I noticed about the battle today -- my thoughts were no longer about porn, nor was my first inclination to masturbate. I realized my sole desire was for actual sex with a woman. I lack a key component for that to happen at the moment, but it's very encouraging to know that the reboot is working.


(Day 30) My flatline basically started after the first week. Or at least what I call flatline. I will try to elaborate. I do get morning erections to about 70-80% percent strength I guess. Some days I have sex drive or rather feel horny, but always with dead-dick symptoms. I call it that my Libido makes these jolts, and they last for maybe an hour.

But the rest of the time, maybe 95% of my time awake, I have absolutely no sex drive. No spontaneous erections. It's a very strange feeling when you look at a beautiful woman and in your head you have your normal thoughts like "Wow, shes beutiful I would like to get to know her"! and yet you have sexual thoughts or intentions. It's a very strange and for me quite a scary experience. It's like you've been castrated...


[Sometimes the flatline shows up as flat emotions.] At 87 days I have had a long flatline with spurts of life in between. I've almost gotten used to the feeling. I know this can't be normal. It will pass. The signs of life have shown me the light. I have some of my personality back, but I know it's not the whole story. I felt very very bland at one point though.


(2 weeks into reboot) A few other withdrawal symptoms have sprung up. I feel tired all the time, and my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton. I don't really feel "present" in life right now. My penis still looks and feels dead; haven't been able to get much of a reaction out of it.


I'm dealing with severe shrinkage of my genitals. WTF? My balls are bigger then my dick. Really weird. On the other hand the fact that my morning wood is returning is definitely a positive sign.


(Day 28) My penis is comically small - just about non-existent (sometimes I even have issues holding it while urinating).


Day 17 no pmo now. Some days I feel like I have a sex drive or feel horny - but always with dead-dick symptoms! It's like my dick won't wake up lol. Today is the first day I'm feeling more horny, but not as dead as before!


About my flatline. When people say they feel like their dick is dead, they arent exaggerating. Iit literally feels lifeless. It feels like a burden to have to carry it around.


So a few days ago I posted about having successful intercourse after PMO-induced ED. At the time, it felt great and I was really pleased. Had nice morning wood for several days afterwards and felt like I could easily have PIV sex with my significant other again. http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/yi9ly/day_28_suffered_from_ed_progress/


Starting yesterday, I feel like I'm flatlining again. "Dead dick" and no spontaneous erections to speak of save weak morning wood. I haven't been fapping and I can't think of anything else in my life that might be causing this.


My Flat-lining Experiment- Warning: Anecdotal Evidence

I wouldn't say any 'super powers' have been particular evident, other than a consistency in personality. I am no longer hostage to the random highs and low associated with frequent PMO, and it is this quality that i would attribute my recent ability to maintain a healthy relationship:

After meeting a girl 20 days in, and following up to the point where we are now in a relationship (despite her being waaayy out of my league) i soon found myself in a terrifying position. One night we go out with friends, im drinking, shes drinking...you see where this is going. When it came to actually doing the deed however my little fella wasn't up to the task :( No worries, i pass this off as whiskey-dick.

However what followed was the strange phenomenon known as flatling. It lasted for a week after this night, and with a complete lack of sex drive i start worrying heavily about whether i'll be able to get it up next time.I have never had erectile dysfunction, however i also never gone so long without masturbating before.. i did not know what to expect.

Despite a complete lack of sexual desire towards anything over this week, when it came to actually being with my girl, i was out of my mind horny...throbingly so. I feel i can take this as evidence my brain has been rewired to be stimulated only be real life interaction, and am proud i have stuck it out to experience this wonderful realization.


 Sometimes your penis comes alive when it needs to:

(NPH to thegreat123) I'm over 145 days and I have zombie penis but when I have sex I do get an erection. The morning wood and spontaneous erections have gone. The recovery is not linear so it's frustrating to suffer zombie penis after such a long time without porn and masturbation. I find it really easy to avoid porn and have no desire to watch it even when my sex drive escalated. We all just need to be patient

(thegreat123 replies to NPH) Yea I have a dead penis too but I haven't attempted having sex to see how I am doing in that regard. Morning woods were happening around days 30 to 35 or so but now there is not anymore morning wood and no spontaneous erections. I too find it easy to avoid porn and masturbation. Thanks for sharing that you are 145 days in and still are having issues. I was beginning to think that I was the only one suffering from a dead penis this late in the reboot process but I am just getting started.

Not everyone finds the flatline unpleasant:

I'm having very little fantasies and also very little erectile activity and no morning wood. I guess I'm giving my brain finally that needed rest.. there have been some days with more libido, but still no real erections. It seems like I've hit this state where I seem able to continue forever this way. It took many months to develop the mindset that is required for this, and every relapse was part of that process. So don't give up.

Also, letting desire go feels good. It's not that I want to be desire-less forever, but right now I'm having all the success I want with women. I don't have to get them in bed. Just having fun with them and fooling around is already success. And the women seem to appreciate that. And I in turn appreciate female contact more than ever. It helps so much in this process.

__

I think that realizing that flatline symptoms are a normal body response is key. A lot of men's self-esteem and identity actually revolve around their penis :), or better saying about their perception of their sexuality. And the erection being an involuntary and unconscious process, this trap is actually a very common and strong one for men.

 
I will read with interest What do I tell my girlfriend? Actually I have been able to share this with a girl (female) friend and was the very reason behind my initial motivation to look for more information. I think that being able to share this experience with a woman, in the context of a relationship, is something that I do want. I mean, I think that falling into the trap of porn also means that I was not able to share my feelings and myself in the context of a working relationship with a woman. So I even see a positive intention of porn induced ED: sort of having a signal from my whole being that I want more, that I want to share myself and connect deeply with a woman. Strangely enough, I see porn induced ED as a great opportunity and motivation to achieve this, as I strive for recovery. :) I mean: if I didn't have porn induced ED, I would probably be hooked to porn ad eternum, and would never actually want to connect with a woman on a deeper level. 

Now, go back and read the ED recovery pages.

Stay on the path until you see the results you want. Avoid fantasy or forced sexual activity. The point of all rebooting is to have normal sexual relations without the need for superstimuli. Don't let the temporary flatline mess with your head. As one guy said at 90 days:

ED is totally gone. After a while my dick actually felt (and looked) even bigger due to the stronger erections I was getting.

Another angle on the science behind the flatline

This scientist doesn't speak in terms of addiction-related changes, but he describes how learning changes the brain. Addiction is pathological learning. This exchange appeared on Reddit.com under "AskScience."

Why does abstaining from porn/masturbation/orgasm temporarily decrease as opposed to increase libido?

In /r/nofap there's a move to 'reboot' one's overstimulated brain to restore the sensitivity to sexual arousal. (The whole mechanism is described at www.yourbrainonporn.com) However there is a period during this abstinence called 'flatlining' where you have little to no libido, and it happens to pretty much all the guys who do it. For some there's only one flatlining period, for others there are more. For some it lasts days, for others months.

My question is why does this happen? I would have expected that abstaining from these things would increase libido, so I'm wondering about the scientific explanation for this (either physical/chemical or mental). Thanks.

Reply

I think the reason we might assume libido to increase is because we intuitively accept the idea that our behavior is controlled by basic drives (hunger, sex, etc) and that we work to return these levels to some kind of homeostasis. This is essentially what the psychoanalysts argued with their "steam engine" theory of anger (also known as 'catharsis theory'), in that you have to "let off steam" sometimes so that you don't take it out on other people and so you can get it under control.

Turns out, these ideas of behavior aren't very accurate. Drive theory turned out to be a very poor explanation for behavior, and it reached the point where to explain behavior, we had to keep creating new "drives" like "money drives" and "exercise drives" etc. It became unscientific, unparsimonious, and was dropped from science (a good discussion can be found in Mazur's "Learning and Behavior"). This isn't to say that there aren't foundational or basic biological elements which influence, direct, or control certain behaviors, but just that thinking of them in terms of "drives" or us trying to "satisfying urges" doesn't explain behavior very well.

Whilst it may make sense to us on an everyday level to believe that "venting" can relieve an urge to do something, the actual fact is that the opposite occurs. What happens is that standard behavioral laws still apply to our behavior; that is, if the consequence of an action is pleasurable, then we are more likely to repeat it (operant conditioning). So instead of relieving our urges, we actually start to strengthen these associations and make them more likely to occur again in the future. This means that if we're angry and we go beat up a punching bag for 30 minutes, our anger will increase and we will be more likely to snap at people.

The same principle applies to all behaviors, and so it should apply in the case of abstaining from sexual gratification. When you abstain, you are not only reversing the effects of habituation on sensitivity, but you're also putting yourself through a kind of "extinction procedure" where you are decreasing a behavior (in this case the "urge" or "libido") by removing the positive reinforcement that comes along with it.

And then there's the fact that you're breaking a number of behavioral chains and sequences by abstaining - so previously turning on your computer late at night might have led to a certain activity, now all it signifies is that you're browsing reddit or ebay or something. These cues that trigger behaviors are discriminative stimuli, and just like people who try to quit smoking but find it more difficult to resist when they're drinking (because they used to do the two together), you can get the same thing with activities like masturbation. Changing your behaviors can break these behavioral chains, which in part account for the associated feelings of arousal and our libido.

tl;dr: Basic behavioral mechanisms can account (at least in part) for the phenomenon you described - operant conditioning, habituation, extinction, etc.

Original poster (again)

Interesting, do you imagine the pleasurable stimulus (libido in this case) would settle a new lower baseline permanently, or would it eventually go back to original levels after the body has become 'accustomed' to the new sensitivity?

Reply

Well I have no evidence or research to back this up, but I would have assumed that it would be temporary - at least for most people. This is due to the simple fact that 1) there are many, many cues which can trigger a behavior that can be difficult to get rid of for ingrained patterns (which is why it's hard to shake bad habits), and 2) genital stimulation generally feels pretty good, so even when you're not actively engaging in masturbation, there's still touching from cleaning genitals in the shower, accidental effects of fabrics rubbing against them, for guys there are erections from arousing visual stimuli, etc, and all this will usually make people want to keep doing it rather than abstain completely.

Whether it returns to the "original levels" or not is dependent on the consequences of the behavior. Different patterns of reinforcement whilst re-creating similar behavioral sequences may result in it being less frequent, or perhaps even more frequent.

How do I know if my ED is porn-related? (TEST)

A lot of guys don't notice that their performance problems are becoming more serious. Logically, they (and their doctors) assume that if they can get off to porn, they don't have sexual dysfunction. They assume that any problem lies with drug or alcohol use, or their choice of partner. Perhaps she's not hot enough, not their type, reminds them of their ex, or is too sexually aggressive.

Most have to fail repeatedly with different partners before they start looking for answers. If they were masturbating without porn most would quickly realize that neither intoxication nor performance anxiety can fully account for their problem (although performance anxiety can certainly contribute to the problem once the performance problems begin).

Wondering if your problem is porn-related?

The first bit of advice is to see a good urologist and rule out any medical abnormality. Once you have ruled out organic causes, try this simple test to isolate porn-induced ED from performance anxiety-induced ED.

  1. On one occasion masturbate to your favorite porn (or simply imagine it).
  2. On another masturbate with no porn/porn fantasy. That is, no recalling of porn.

Compare the quality of your erection and the time it took to climax (if you can). A healthy young man should have no trouble attaining a full erection and masturbating to orgasm without porn or porn fantasy.

  • If you have a strong erection in #1, but erectile dysfunction in #2, then you have porn-induced ED. 
  • If #2 is strong and solid, but you have trouble with a real partner, then you have anxiety-induced ED.
  • If you have problems during both 1 and 2, you may have severe porn-induced ED, or an organic problem. When in doubt, see a good urologist.

The above test is helpful to differentiate porn-induced ED from performance anxiety because you cannot have anxiety about performance with your own hand. (You've known each other for a long time.)

What this test cannot do:

  1. It cannot necessarily help you differentiate between organic ED (hormonal, vascular) and severe porn-induced ED, as many men with porn-induced ED cannot maintain an erection even with porn. This is why you need to see a doctor.
  2. It also cannot assess if your ED arises from severe psychological issues such as clinical depression.
  3. It is not meant to assess whether you have recovered from porn-induced ED or not. Only time with a real partner can answer that question. (see How do I know when I'm back to normal?).

Other symptoms that may be associated with porn-induced brain changes:

  • Difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner (delayed ejaculation)
  • Experiencing greater sexual excitement with porn than with a partner
  • Decreasing sensitivity of penis
  • Ejaculating when you are only partly erect, or getting totally erect only as you come
  • Needing to fantasize to maintain erection or interest with sexual partner
  • Earlier genres of porn are no longer "exciting"
  • Declining sexual arousal with a sexual partner(s)
  • Losing erection while attempting penetration
  • Can't maintain erection or ejaculate with oral sex

From a recent post (September, 2012)

Yeah, I have had a talk w/ my urologist about this bc I was being tested for lowish testosterone.  He mentioned that more and more young men were coming in talking about having ED and that he estimated that over the past year about 50% of his patients for ED were probably younger than 35.  So either we are just having huge effects from increasing toxins that are in our world that affect men (which may play a part and is possible) or (more likely) this porn stuff is REALLY screwing with us.  He also mentioned that although a lot of these patients have lower than normal T levels, they aren't low enough that they should be seriously complaining about ED.

How long will it take to recover from Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction?

Dangers of rebooting This is the number one question we get from guys suffering porn-induced ED. However, we cannot predict how long it will take for your erectile health to return. Among those who stick with it, progression is surprisingly similar—when guys completely stop pornography, porn fantasy and masturbation. Symptoms and feedback indicate that eliminating or drastically reducing masturbation produces a deeper withdrawal and shorter rebooting period. Here's one guy's account:

I'm very close to 90 days and just want to share my thoughts. In a nutshell, there IS light at the end of the tunnel, but there can be a good month of flatline [no libido] before you get there. From what I've read, the flatline seems to put people off. They go for 7 days and feel like superman. Then it just seems to die. I believe that a short-term reboot will bring short-term benefits. (i.e., 7-day testosterone spike, which is just a taste of things to come).

Only after a few months have I now begun to feel the long-term benefits. After around 70 days, I pretty much felt good all the f**king time! My anxiety is gone; my depression is gone; I'm fitter, healthier, and am no longer a slave to the opposite sex. I no longer see women as goddesses because I'm not craving them to begin with.

Although the recovery process is not linear (good days are followed by bad days and vice versa), here's what often occurs:

  1. Withdrawal symptoms and cravings usually occur immediately. However, some guys notice a rapid return of libido and confidence for a week or two...followed by a flatline that goes on for for weeks. See number 3 below.
  2. Absence of libido and erections, increased flaccidity ("shrinking or lifeless penis"): Often begins towards the end of week one, but can be highly variable. Continues for 2-8 weeks, dependent upon age one started and severity of porn use. However, some guys take longer and exit, then reenter flat-line period,
  3. Gradual return of morning erections, libido and occasional spontaneous erections at other times (still with "flat" days interspersed). Not all men experience a return of spontaneous erections.
  4. No more "semen leakage" during bowel movements, etc.
  5. Return of good erections, sexual desire for real partners, reports of extremely pleasurable sex, contented condom use even if it was once a problem.
  6. May be continued improvements in erection quality, libido and sexual pleasure for months following the return of quality erections.

A few rare fellows recover very quickly, within a few weeks. It's unlikely they had developed addiction-related brain changes. A few guys recover within 4 - 6 weeks. Most older guys, who did not grow up with the Internet, recover after 8-12 weeks of no porn, no masturbation and no orgasm. However, they will continue to see improvements after their erections return.

More than a few take 3-6 months, or longer to regain erectile health. Recent rebooting accounts indicate that young guys who started on high speed Internet porn at an early age can take 9 months or longer, and will continue to experience improvements for months after the return of healthy erections.


A list of possible factors that may affect length of recovery:

  1. How consistent one is with no porn (and probably no masturbation or orgasm)
  2. Age one started porn. Younger means stronger brain wiring for porn, and weaker wiring for the real deal. If masturbation began with Internet porn use, the pathways can be very deep. If you started masturbation and Internet porn in early adolescence (or if porn use preceded masturbation), recovery may take 3-6 months, or longer. Please be patient and see - 1) Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn 2) Started on Internet porn and my reboot (ED) is taking too long; 3) Young Porn Users Need Longer To Recover Their Mojo; 4)Gary and Gabe discuss recovery from porn-related ED (show #9)
  3. Little or no contact with real partners usually mean longer. Guys who started porn early, and have experienced little or no sexual intimacy, need to rewire their sexual arousal to real partners.
  4. If you have a partner, it may speed up the process. Helps rewire your sexual response to a real human.
  5. Length of porn use. Longer may mean longer recovery.
  6. How often porn was used for masturbation. Always or occasionally.
  7. Frequency of PMO sessions (per week, per day)
  8. Previous periods of abstinence from porn. Recent periods of abstinence means faster recovery.
  9. The genre of porn currently used for masturbation. The more shocking or disturbing it is for the user, the more the brain has adapted.
  10. If you have developed porn-induced fetishes, it may take longer to be aroused by "vanilla" sex.
  11. Initial sensitivity of the brain to addiction (genetics, childhood traumas).
  12. Type of masturbation used. Was a "death grip," very fast movement, or prone position employed?
  13. Edging without ejaculation while rebooting. Really bad idea.

What about fantasizing about porn? A bad idea, as it strengthens sensitized addiction pathways. But fantasizing about the real deal may be OK, especially for guys with little sexual experience.

What about having sex while trying to reboot? Probably a good thing. If you fool around or have intercourse and purposely avoid orgasm, it may be fine, even beneficial. If it's too soon, orgasm with a partner can set you back, or throw you into a relapse (see below). Porn-induced ED is your brain saying it has had enough. If you have ED, attempting to force an erection with porn fantasy or other methods, seems to be counterproductive to your recovery.

On the other hand, if you're back in balance, but not experiencing a lot of spontaneous erections, sex with a partner will show you you are, in fact, back to normal. For example, here's what one guy said:

Spontaneous erections might be a sign, but I'm not sure if they are a real sign. You don't have to walk around with a boner in order to feel things will work out. Last week, for example, I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a couple of days. I had no spontaneous erections during that time. Given my old troubles, I even worried a bit... Was I losing it again? But when I saw her everything was just fine. Her touch and smell totally turned me on and the penis worked. So things will work out, when your brain is in balance, even if you don't have a constant boner (spontaneous erections).

Finally, there comes a time when young guys who trained their sexual responses to porn need to rewire to real partners. If not sexually, then socially. You need contact with others. You may need to fantasize or start self stimulation. See - Started on Internet porn and my reboot (ED) is taking too long. Unfortunately we cannot tell you at what point you need to integrate sexual stimuli.

From this thread - Just started today. How long on average does it take to return to full function?

As others have said, it's highly variable. I found the following things sped things up:

1. Removing any stimulating images, even normally fine things like Facebook and OkCupid. I'm fine with them now, but it helped starting out when my brain was sorting things out
2. Rewiring with a woman. Find someone you can cuddle with, as often as possible. This will speed you up enormously.
3. Going no orgasm. I made the most progress when I went 98 days without orgasm, while rewiring. I added orgasms once I had 100% erections
4. Change your attitude towards sex. You say "I can't please a woman as I am", but that's completely false. You can do a lot to please women with your mouth and hands, usually more than you can with a functioning penis.

A lot of guys on here post "tried sex, failed, waaaaa", which indicates a flawed mindset. You can have sex, and cuddle, etc. It's rewiring. If you do that for a while, your ED should disappear.

The hard cases on here typically aren't doing much rewiring.

Stick with it. It feels great to be able to have sex again, it's all worth it. It'll come back for you too :)

 

It's really important for young guys to rewire their sexual response to real persons, this succesful rebooter said Rewiring has sped up my reboot!

Hi everyone! So I'm at 100+ days no PMO and I've been spending some time with a great girl.

The almost all of this reboot I've been in a flatline - while my morning woods have slowly been getting harder and increasing in frequency, I've still had very little libido and zero spontaneous erections.

About 7 days ago I spent a comfortable, relaxed night with a girl that seemed to have reawakened something in! We kissed, cuddled and did some touching all with clothes on. It was an amazing feeling - I've been feeling an increase in libido and healthy sexual perspective on women since!

I'm definitely still not recovered - my erections aren't hard enough yet, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't have successful sex, but I just wanted to write because I really, really, really think that kissing, cuddling and being intimate without orgasming can accelerate your reboot by leagues


The "Chaser Effect"

When men first learn that their ED is caused by porn use, they tend to become quite enthusiastic about stopping all porn, masturbation, and orgasm. Some succeed, but most relapse a few times, or add in occasional masturbation or sex with a partner. The challenging thing about a relapse before you're rebooted is that it can kick in the "chaser effect" over the next couple of days. Knowing about this can save you a binge, when strong urges hit you out of "nowhere."

Whatever you do, realize that it was porn that caused your erectile problems. Staying away from porn is your top priority. So if you have an uncontrollable urge to masturbate to ejaculation, do so without porn. If you can't masturbate without porn, then it's not true sexual desire. Instead, your urge is "only" an addiction cue that has been triggered by a thought or a visual.

From all reports, the men who regain their erectile health the quickest completely abstain from masturbation and orgasm. The more often you masturbate, the longer it takes. That said, all your efforts are somewhat cumulative. Here's what one guy said:

I went 6 weeks and had slight relapses [viewing soft-core to test for erections - not recommended] once every 4 days or so. When I finally went back to celibacy, I didn't start from zero, I started from like week three. I know this because when I first started I could not get hard from just masturbation. But after a relapse I did not go back to that beginning state.


Back in the saddle

When you do have sex again, it may be a good idea to approach it with a new mindset—not focused on sexual performance. Apprehension due to past failures is common and it may take a few tries to overcome anxiety   Here's some advice from other men who had ED, rebooted, and then had sex.

  • In my 3 times of "connecting and bonding" with my wife since beginning my reboot, there were no expectations of intercourse. We started out just playfully fooling around, enjoying each other's bodies, caressing and kissing, and the next thing you ... WHAM!!! It was all very relaxed.
  • I knew I had a problem when I was in my late teens. I eventually had successful intercourse in my early 20's, but I didn't consider myself cured, so I had performance anxiety, and 9 times out of 10, couldn't perform. I guess my thinking now is that if 4 days of intercourse in a row don't convince me that my libido is ok, then what will?I might have expected too much in the past. I assumed that I should be up and ready to go at a seconds notice, no matter how stressed I was. I expected to get a boner every time I looked at a beautiful woman. Now my expectation is to eventually get erect if I'm relaxed in the presence of a woman I like (i.e. my wife). So it's a combination of reason and a slight change in expectations I guess. I will say that I would have never dreamed of giving up masturbation for 90 days if it wasn't for this site. Also this site convinced me that the connecting aspect is so important.
  • Performance anxiety is a really tough thing to beat. Anytime you are in bed with a woman and you start observing yourself, an erection probably won't happen. I know full well it's not fun to enter into sexual relations worrying about performance. The key is to enter into it not worrying one iota about erection. It's easier said than done, but that's the challenge that many men face. I faced it, and I'm surprised I got through it.

In other words, forget porn-style sex and just be playful. Relaxation actually promotes erections. In fact, oxytocin (the "cuddle hormone") is vital to erections, and you produce oxytocin when you engage in affectionate, generous touch. Go figure!

Also see recovery accounts here and here, and How do I know when I'm back to normal?

If I have ED, don't I need to "use it or lose it?"

Porn addiction can bring on erectile dysfunctionI'm rebooting, so I haven't watched porn or orgasmed in 43 days, however I've recently begun to masturbate again. I end up stopping short, but I really need to ease up. I think I'm feeling some anxiety due to the fact that I've been on a couple of dates and the chances of me having sex in the near future have increased. I guess I'm trying to make sure it works. I even took half a Cialis today..though I have no chance for sex this weekend as the girl I'm seeing is away on vacation.

There's a strong meme out there that says, "Use it or lose it," and when people have used porn heavily enough to squelch their erections, they fear to stop masturbating, thinking their lack of responsiveness will get worse. Or they think they need to "remind" their penises what to do by using porn to achieve erections.

"Use it or lose it" may be a factor when men don't have sex for ages, because intercourse (even without orgasm) is good for reproductive health. Erections pump blood through the genitals, preventing congestion (stagnant blood flow), etc.

However, "use it or lose it" isn't the problem for porn-related ED sufferers. Their problem is overuse, which has temporarily numbed their brains. Their genitals are perfectly healthy, as explained by Norman Doidge, MD.

Heavy porn users need to reboot to restore potency. In other words, ED from heavy porn use is an entirely different challenge, physiologically speaking, from the challenge faced by someone who has stopped all sexual activity for a long period of time.

Among visitors here with ED symptoms, a couple of months without "using it" increases potency. When the brain is back to normal, normal sexual responsiveness returns. Meanwhile, however, some experience even less sexual responsiveness. This is normal, and can last for weeks. Don't panic; just be patient.

It may be counter-intuitive, but you don't increase your potency by masturbating, with or without orgasm. Let your brain rest, and it will soon be ready for action. Remember, if you had broken your ankle, you would know to stop using it until it healed. You wouldn't keep "testing" it by walking on it, because that would only slow your recovery. Key points to remember:

  1. Erections are not off limits, and neither is sexual stimulation from a partner.
  2. Rebooting is temporary. We do not suggest long term abstinence.
  3. Chances are you will continue to have nocturnal erections.
  4. If your libido isn't returning try the suggestions found in this FAQ - Started on Internet porn and my reboot (Erectile Dysfunction) is taking too long

Incidentally, Cialis and Viagra work by temporarily altering your body's vascular response. They do not work directly to heal the plastic changes in your brain that have caused any impotence. Your brain needs time and an absence of stimulation. That's what will enable it to return to normal sensitivity and sexual responsiveness as quickly as possible. This happens automatically; you don't have to do anything to make it happen.

Comments from guys who rebooted:

  • I have now first-person experience with the 'use it or lose it' concern. As far as I can tell, there is nothing to be concerned about. I orgasmed on day 32 with a woman. It was a good experience, although too early in my rewiring. It set me back moodwise, and I experienced a mean-ass chaser effect. But I haven't discussed one of the positives - the quality of the ejaculation. Yes, in fact, I have NEVER felt my cum be so thick, abundant and warm (almost hot). There was a TON of it - I was soaked. Anyhow - 32 days of no O and, although I didn't have lab work done to test my sperm count, I can assure all of my fellow PMO recoverees that your prostate and testes are working just fine. The problem is truly in the brain and nowhere else. If anything, I feel like my junk needed a long-overdue rest after years and years of 2-4 orgasms per day. Oh the sperm I have squandered lol!
  • My penis still works down the road, too. I was worried about it at first. Especially during some of those reboot stages where it feels like you are like a sexual eunuch. It's normal to flatline at first, since you have been ramping yourself up with all the stimuli for so many years.

For more on understanding erectile health, see Gary's Erectile Dysfunction and Porn slide show

Also see: Ejaculation: How Often for Good Health?

And if you want to strengthen your erections and meet potential mates, try sexercise.

Internet Porn Addiction: Exposing Misconceptions, by Gabe Deem

How could I possibly have erectile dysfunction? I was only 23 and physically healthy. I went searching and found long threads of guys saying they thought porn had caused their ED. Unbelievable, but turns out it potentially had for me, too. It took me nine months to recover normal sexual function.

When people hear about porn addiction or porn causing problems, many are skeptical. However, the medical field is starting to recognize that this is actually happening, even though research has not yet caught up with reality. In fact, earlier this year the popular Dr. Oz show covered porn-induced ED. More recently, scientists at Cambridge University performed a study that found people addicted to porn show similar brain activity to alcoholics or drug addicts when exposed to cues.

After realizing Internet porn use may be linked to my ED, I did a lot of reading on the subject. I came across many people claiming things about porn addiction and related dysfunctions that simply did not match reality. Here are some of the common misconceptions.

Misconception #1 -- "The only guys who get addicted to porn or have porn-induced ED have underlying issues."

I was raised with a loving family and a great support system. Never had a traumatic experience, never was abused, no history of addiction in my family. When I was 8 years old I found a Playboy magazine. This might sound crazy, but as a young boy I liked looking at naked girls (gasp).

When I was 12 my family got high-speed Internet. Immediately I was watching hardcore porn. Kids at school would share the best sites and ways to hide it. It was a normal part of teen culture. For the first time in human history kids had unlimited access to hardcore porn. I did not have issues that caused me to seek porn -- I just had access. Now, of course, some people addicted to porn have an underlying issue. But not all.

Three of my good friends have also experienced porn-related sexual dysfunctions. All were normal dudes with normal lives. We thought it was awesome looking at naked girls having sex, and we were unaware that it might have a negative physiological impact.

It took me a year to figure out why I had ED. After all, I could get it up with porn, so clearly my penis wasn't broken. It wasn't performance anxiety, because I had already had a lot of sexual experience and was not nervous. Didn't drink anything, so couldn't blame alcohol. Even got my hormones checked and the results came back fine.

In fact, I didn't believe porn could possible be linked to my ED until I did the porn-induced ED test -- where you try to get an erection without porn or any fantasy, just to your hand's touch alone. To my surprise, I could not. I was a normal, healthy, sexually-experienced and confident guy who could only get an erection to porn.

Misconception #2 -- "Guys who claim they have porn-induced ED are just not attracted to their partner."

Many guys on porn recovery forums say they are extremely attracted to their partners and find it very confusing that they cannot get aroused. I was one of those guys. I had a beautiful girl who I found very attractive, yet I could not physically feel any arousal when going for sex. Why is this important?

The partner may feel she is not attractive enough or "can't compare to the porn stars." It is very important to let these heartbroken girls know that it is not always an attraction thing, but rather a brain-wiring thing. If a guy has wired his sexual arousal to a screen and porn, it does not matter how sexy or attractive he finds his partner... he may not be able to get it up. Once I made it clear to my girlfriend that she was very attractive but my brain had just been numbed, and wired for porn, it helped her feel a lot better about waiting and less devastated when Mr. Happy looked sad.

Misconception #3 -- "People giving up porn must have a moral issue with it."

Many of the guys giving up porn have no moral objections to it and used to love everything about it, until they developed erectile dysfunction, or delayed ejaculation. When I realized I could only get a boner to a screen and not the real thing, I decided to stop watching it. The fact is that many guys have now realized that simply giving up porn has fixed their ED. For them, it is a "neural issue" and not a "moral issue."

Some popular forums for quitting porn are run by non-religious people -- including Reddit's NoFap and PornFree groups and Yourbrainrebalanced.com, which together have over 100,000 members as of now. The members, mostly under 30, are different in every way imaginable, including morals. Those with ED may eliminate the single variable of porn use and can usually recover after several months.

Now that we know why people are giving up porn, what do we do next? One thing is for sure: We need more research. But until that day gets here, my hope is that sharing my story will lead to more logical conversations and insightful dialogue about pornography and how it can affect us.

LINK - Internet Porn Addiction: Exposing Misconceptions

NoFap pharmacist answers question about ED & SSRIs

SSRI antidepressants

the_druggist

Pharmacist answer.

There are two theories regarding the delay in efficacy of SSRI's. These medications work by inhibiting the SERT transporter, which ordinarily flushes serotonin out of the synapse and back into the pre-synaptic neuron for recycling into vesicles for reuse.

The old school of thought suggested that achieving a steady level of serotonin in the synapse took a few weeks. But, we know because of animal studies that this is not true. Therapeutic serotonin levels are achieved within hours to days depending on which one of the SSRI's you are taking. Fluoxetine, for example, has a long elimination half-life. This means that a steady level of the drug in the patient's blood won't even be achieved for several days after starting the medication.

The newer school of thought states that the changes in mood are actually caused by "downstream" effects of a constant level of serotonin at the synapse. These effects begin with serotonin, but are thought to be mediated by protein transcription from DNA and RNA (or possibly micro-RNA). There are some G-protein linked receptors that are affected by serotonin as well which affect cellular levels of cyclic AMP.

If this "downstream" theory is true, the process of protein creation takes considerable time and would account for the delay. It is also interesting to note that the medication Buspar (buspirone), which binds the serotonin receptor directly (and does not rely no any sort of accumulation) also takes a few weeks to work. This further supports the protien-mediation theory.

In addition, it has been observed that the SERT (reuptake) transpoters (which often exist in higher-than-normal quantities in depressed individuals) actually begin to decrease in number with continued administration of an SSRI. This is thought to further increase synaptic levels of serotonin and augment the long-term effects of an SSRI (Zhao et al., 2009).

A couple studies have also shown that SSRIs cause generation of new neurons from progenitor cells in the dendrate nucleus of the hypocampus and subventricular zones, which by definition, must be DNA mediated. (Santarelli, et. al 2003, Manganas et al., 2007.) These additional neurons may have some placating effect on anxiety and depression.

There may be more to learn about the mechanism of effect of SSRI's. However, the side-effects on sexuality are well established.

SSRI's can cause ED, delayed ejaculation, in men, impaired arousal, dryness in women, and anorgasmia in men and women. Generally we classify the drug-effects on sexual dysfunction in men by the way they effect either the parasympathetic or sympathetic nervous systems, respectively. The PNS and SNS both facilitate different parts of the male sexual response. A good way to remember this is: P is for point, S is for shoot. Unfortunately, SSRIs affect both systems.

SSRIs are all similar in shape to anti-cholinergic drugs and all have some anticholinergic effects (dry eyes, mouth, urinary hesitancy, delayed ejaculation). They also cause a reflexive reduction in dopamine transmission, which impairs pleasure and arousal. There is also limited evidence that SSRIs inhibit erection directly by interfering with the production of Nitric Oxide, which is the main vasodilator that causes erection.

If I remember correctly, sexual side effects burden some 40% of female patients and up to 70% of male patients on SSRIs. Some folks can get relief with a drug like Viagra (including women). However, usually, if you are in the population that suffers sexual dysfunction, the most helpful thing is to try a different medication or lower your dose. All sexual side-effects are dose-dependent.

Alternative antidepressant/antianxiety meds to SSRI's which typically cause less sexual dysfunction are Wellbutrin (bupropion) and Remeron (mirtazapine). These two meds work in different ways and I would try BOTH before I gave up on medication altogether. As always, exercise and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) work well for depression and anxiety and they work even better in combination with medication.

In regard to your statement about response, keep in mind that the initial response rate (which is somewhere around 15-18%) jumps to 30% or so when you reevaluate in 4 weeks and either increase dose or switch meds if response was inadequate. Combined with CBT and exercise, medication can bring about remission in about 2/3 of all patients, given enough time for adjustments to therapy. In my field, 2/3 response is pretty damn good.

If you have further questions about these drugs or the topic in general, don't hesitate to ask. Hope this helps.

Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is A Growing Problem

Internet porn appears to be "sex-negative" for many users.

couple in bedA growing number of young, healthy Internet pornography users are complaining of delayed ejaculation, inability to be turned on by real partners, and sluggish erections.

Lots of guys, 20s or so, can't get it up anymore with a real girl, and they all relate having a serious porn/masturbation habit. Guys will never openly discuss this with friends or co-workers, for fear of getting laughed out of town. But when someone tells their story on a health forum, and there are 50-100 replies from other guys who struggle with the same thing, this is for real.

Threads relating to this issue are springing up all over the Web on bodybuilding, medical help and pick-up artist forums, in at least twenty countries. Notice from one such forum:

Due to the overwhelming emails and requests we have received concerning pornography addiction and erectile dysfunction, we decided to create an entirely different thread. ED due to porn is becoming rapidly common, especially for young men.

Desperate young men from various cultures, with different levels of education, religiosity, attitudes, values, diets, marijuana use and personalities are seeking help. They have only two things in common:  heavy use of today's Internet porn and increasing need for more extreme material.

Many have previously been to doctors, undergone various tests, and been declared "just fine" physically. Neither they nor their health care providers considered excessive porn use as a potential cause of their continued performance problems. Most were assured that "masturbation cannot cause erectile dysfunction." The final diagnosis was generally "performance anxiety."

Is anxiety really the cause? Here's a simple test: Try to masturbate (alone) using no porn and no fantasy—only sensual touch. Use the same speed and pressure as you would during intercourse. How erect is your penis without porn? If your penis is not fully erect, or it takes effort to become erect, then the chances are that anxiety is not the source of your problems. Persistent performance problems can certainly lead to anxiety, however. As one man said after he recovered following three months without masturbation or porn,

It's hard to tell where addiction ends and anxiety begins. I think a combination of the two is involved in a lot of situations.

Not long ago, Italian urologists confirmed an erectile dysfunction-porn use connection via a large survey. When interviewed about the survey, urologist Carlo Foresta (head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine and professor at the University of Padua) mentioned that 70 percent of the young men his clinic treated for sexual performance problems had been using Internet pornography heavily. (Foresta has now apparently conducted a study.)

The Italians are not alone. Other medical profesionals are beginning treat young healthy men who have developed porn-induced sexual dysfunction:

Recovery appears to take 6-12 weeks, and rests primarily on one factor: avoiding the extreme stimulation of Internet erotica. (Many also avoid masturbation for a time, either because at first they cannot masturbate without porn fantasy, or because climax triggers binging.)

Among those who recover, progression is surprisingly similar. Men typically report that after a few days of intense sexual cravings, their libido plummets and their penis seems "lifeless," "shrunken," or "cold." These "flatline" symptoms typically continue for up to six weeks on average, dependent upon age and intensity of porn use.

Gradually, morning erections return, followed by libido and, perhaps, occasional spontaneous erections. Finally, there is complete recovery of erectile health, sexual desire for real partners, sex becomes extremely pleasurable, and condom use is no longer problematic.

  • I am a 25-year old male, masturbating a lot from 13 and using porn from 14. Gradually, it took more to turn me on: bigger fantasies or harder porn, and I stopped getting hard without touching. During sex I would struggle to get an erection or keep it, especially for intercourse. Over the past 7 years I haven't held down a relationship, and the main reason for me has been this problem. Now the good news: When I realized the cause, I immediately gave up porn. Over the last 6 weeks I held off masturbating as much as I possibly could. (My best record was 9 days!) It all paid off. I just went away with a girl for the weekend and it was the best ever. I don't think I'm out of the woods yet. I still get pretty anxious from all the bad experiences over the years. But I just wanted to tell you all it can work, and it's well worth it!
  • Week 12, age 36 - I'm actually totally impressed how HUGE I get. It has been kinda hard to ignore. I mean, my erections are ROCK HARD and ENORMOUS. I remember asking other guys who went before me about when they noticed the return of their full erections. Well, I think I got mine back.

How can porn cause sexual performance trouble?

The cause appears to be physiological, not psychological, given that such diverse men change only one variable (porn use), yet report a similar recovery pattern. For these men, anxiety is secondary. (Note - a disturbing tend is emerging. Guys who used Internet porn during their adolesence need longer to regain their erectile health, see - Young Porn Users Need Longer To Recover Their Mojo)

Recent behavioral addiction research suggests that the loss of libido and performance occur because heavy users are numbing their brain's normal response to pleasure. Years of overriding the natural limits of libido with intense stimulation desensitize the user's response to a neurochemical called dopamine.

Dopamine is behind motivation, "wanting" and all addictions. It drives the search for rewards. We get little spurts of it every time we bump into anything potentially rewarding, novel, surprising, or even anxiety-producing.

Animal models have established that both sexual desire and erections arise from dopamine signals. Normally, dopamine-producing nerve cells in the reward circuitry activate the sexual (libido) centers of the hypothalamus, which in turn activate the erection centers in the spinal cord, which send nerve impulses to the genitalia. A steady stream of nerve impulses, which release nitric oxide into the penis and its blood vessels, maintain an erection.

Nitric oxide in turn stimulates the blood vessel dilator cGMP, the on/off switch for engorgement and erection. The more cGMP is available the more durable the erection. So, the pathway from the brain to an erection is:

Reward circuitry (dopamine) > hypothalamus > spinal cord > nerves > penis

Erections start with dopamine and end with cGMP. Sexual enhancement drugs work by inhibiting the breakdown of cGMP, thus allowing it to accumulate in the penis. Yet if the patient's brain isn't producing enough signals in the first place, ED drugs will not increase libido or pleasure even if they (sometimes) produce an erection.

My ED is definitely porn-related because even erection pills do little but sometimes help enough to penetrate or get an erection. But, NEVER is the feeling good...because I still don't feel anything. I've lost most, if not all my sensitivity.

In the case of age-related erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular conditions or diabetes, the primary weak link tends to be the nerves, blood vessels and penis. However, for men with porn-induced erectile dysfunction, the weak link is not the penis, but rather the desensitized dopamine system in the brain.

The relevance of recent addiction brain science

In the last decade or so, addiction researchers have discovered that too much dopamine stimulation has a paradoxical effect. The brain decreases its ability to respond to dopamine signals (desensitization). This occurs with all addictions, both chemical and natural. In some porn users, the response to dopamine is dropping so low that they can't achieve an erection without constant hits of dopamine via the Internet.

Erotic words, pictures and videos have been around a long while, but the Internet makes possible a never-ending stream of dopamine spikes. Today's users can force its release by watching porn in multiple windows, searching endlessly, fast-forwarding to the bits they find hottest, switching to live sex chat, viewing constant novelty, firing up their mirror neurons with video action and cam-2-cam, or escalating to extreme genres and anxiety-producing material. It's all free, easy to access, available within seconds, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Overstimulation of the reward circuitry in the brain is a very real possibility today.

Many men don't realize their brain's sensitivity is declining toward normal sex because Internet erotica delivers endless dopamine hits—making erection and climax possible where normal encounters would not. When they try to have actual intercourse and cannot, they understandably panic.

The brain changes causing porn-induced erectile dysfunction arise from actual physical addiction processes (among them, numbing of the pleasure response of the brain). Quitting can therefore be quite challenging. In addition to an alarming temporary drop in libido, some men experience withdrawal symptoms: insomnia, irritability, panic, despair, concentration problems, and even flu-like symptoms. Finding a good counselor who understands addiction, and why today's porn has different effects from viewing a Playboy magazine, can be very helpful.

The brain needs a chance to "reboot," that is, return to normal dopamine sensitivity. This can take a couple of months. For a science teacher's explanation of the science behind porn-related erectile dysfunction, see this video presentation: Erectile Dysfunction and Porn.

Most men are astonished to learn that pornography use can be a source of sexual performance problems. Instead, many are becoming convinced that ED at twenty-something is normal. They are amazed that heavy porn use can affect them adversely, that no one told them it could affect them, and  that humans have actually masturbated without porn. There is almost total ignorance about the significance for porn users of the recent discoveries of addiction science.

If you are suffering from youthful ED, and wish to restore your potency, be optimistic. As one man said after his successful two-month experiment:

A few facts:

1. This is 100% fixable.

2. It will likely be one of the most difficult things you've ever done.

3. If you ever want a normal sex life again, you kinda don't have another choice

4. If you started Internet porn at a young age the process can take longer (see - Started on Internet porn and my reboot (ED) is taking too long)

 For information and recovery accounts, see: Is my erectile dysfunction related to my porn use?


Also see -

Porn-induced ED: Empirical Evidence

What I say to "skeptics"limp switch

In 2011, the head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAMS) warned that porn-induced ED exists. SIAMS, the largest urology organization in Italy, was the first group of medical doctors to address this emerging phenomenon via a survey. Their president reported that the clinics had guys eliminate porn use for 2-3 months. At the time of Dr. Foresta's announcement we had been writing articles about porn-induced ED for about 4 years. The phenomenon is now beginning to emerge. In fact, Forest himself has two new studies in press about loss of sexual attraction in young guys who use porn. Also, check out this page, which shows that many doctors and experts are now treating it.

 Recent studies show a dramatic increase in ED rates among young men.

Naysayers suggest that we need "peer-reviewed studies" to confirm the existence of porn-related ED before we can make any claims. However, it's painfully obvious that no researcher can conduct a study where one group of young healthy men use Internet porn for 10 years, and a comparable control group does not, with erectile function assessed through masturbation to sensation only (no porn). In other words, it may be that the only experiment possible is well under way - with thousands of results now reported.

Update: First peer-reviewed study to ask the question finds porn-induced ED. About 60% of compulsive porn users reported erectile dysfunction in this brain scan study: Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014). From the study (CSB are compulsive porn users):

CSB subjects reported that as a result of excessive use of sexually explicit materials..... experienced diminished libido or erectile function specifically in physical relationships with women (although not in relationship to the sexually explicit material) (N = 11)...

The subjects stated that porn use caused their ED. The average age was 25, yet 11 out of the 19 subjects experienced erectile dysfunction/diminished libido with partners, but not with porn.

THE EXPERIMENT - "UNEXPLAINED CHRONIC ED IN YOUNG MEN AND ALTERATION OF A SINGLE VARIABLE"

This ongoing experiment examining porn-induced ED is valid, reproducible, and empirical.

The Subjects:

  1. Thousands of otherwise healthy young men (early 20s at the moment...), with only one variable in common: Years of masturbation to Internet porn.
  2. The subjects differ in backgrounds, ethnicity, diets, exercise regimens, religious beliefs, moral beliefs, country of origin, education, economic status, on & on.
  3. These young men cannot achieve an erection without porn use, and gradually, some can no longer achieve an erection with porn use.
  4. Many have seen multiple health-care practitioners and all have tried a number of approaches to cure their copulatory ED with no results.
  5. Most state that they cannot believe that porn use could have caused ED. Some are very skeptical prior to starting their experiment of giving up masturbation to porn.
  6. The cause of their ED was not performance anxiety as they failed to achieve full erections while attempting to masturbate without porn (How do I know if my ED is porn-related? (TEST)

The regimen:

  1. All eliminate porn use.
  2. Most (but not all) eliminate, or drastically reduce, the frequency of orgasms.

The results:

Nearly every subject reports a similar constellation of physical and psychological symptoms when they stop porn use/masturbation, and a similar time-frame for the appearance of symptoms such as agitation, cravings, complete loss of libido, and gradual recovery. 2-6 months (or longer) may be needed to regain erectile function. This suggests a very specific set of physical brain changes, and not a psychological "issue." The usual pattern of recovery is as follows:

  1. Subjects experience varying withdrawal symptoms that parallel drug/alcohol withdrawal, such as cravings, anxiety, lethargy, depression, brain fog, sleeping abnormalities, restlessness, agitation, aches, pains, etc.
  2. Within 1-2 weeks, most subjects experience what is called "the flatline": low libido, perceived changes in genital sensation or size.
  3. The flatline slowly abates and libido gradually increases, morning erections and spontaneous erections often show up, attraction to real partners increases, etc. Bursts of hyper-arousal are not uncommon before their libido regains its balance.
  4. If the men stick to the regimen, nearly all regain erectile health.
  5. Lengths of full recovery vary from a few weeks to several months. Most are in the 2-6 months range for chronic, long-standing ED.

Summary:

Young healthy men, with unexplained ED and only one variable in common (Internet porn use), attempt multiple regimens and treatments with no success. The subjects remove the one variable they have in common and almost all experience the same results - remission of their medical condition.

That's an experiment with unequivocal results. This is empirical evidence, and probably the best empirical evidence available under the circumstances.

Bottom line:

I have yet to see one naysayer address the ACTUAL FACTS as described. In debating the existence of porn-induced ED, doubters go no further than this point:

  • Some guys who watch Internet porn develop ED - so - "correlation does not equal causation."

They refuse to venture into the rest of the facts, such as:

  1. All subjects had been using porn for years with no problems getting erections to porn.
  2. Few report any moral or religious misgivings, or guilt, surrounding their porn use.
  3. Subjects experienced a gradual decline in sexual function - often over the course of years.
  4. Many subjects had seen medical professionals, and had tried various therapies or regimens - with no success.
  5. When they abstained, nearly all subjects experienced similar psychological and physical symptoms - many of which mimic withdrawal from an addiction.
  6. The clincher: All had only one variable in common. When that single variable was removed (masturbation to porn) - nearly all regained erectile health.  (If they did not regain erectile health and libido, the cause of their ED was likely not porn use.)
  7. Subjects who recover and regain erectile health and then return to regular porn use eventually report a return of ED, once again demonstrating causation.

Others writing about porn-induced ED - Porn-Induced ED in the Media: Primarily Experts

Porn-induced ED: What do I tell my girlfriend?

Sex with a partner during rebooting can slow progressAlso see:


Dating during a reboot can cause a major dilemma. Here's a typical scenario:

I continue dating girls and I think I have found a very interesting one. I have been out with her twice yet. I found this site and I left PMO 14 days ago, cold turkey. Now, I feel very strange. It seems my libido is gone. I don't even have morning wood or wet dreams. And I feel arousal only when I tap my fetish fantasies. I will eventually have to perform with this girl, and I fear this moment because I know I will not get it up easily. I don't know what to do. Should I stop dating girls? At least until I reboot my brain? Because every time I fail to get an erection I fall into an anxiety spiral.

It's actually great having a girlfriend, but she really needs to understand that if you have ED or delayed ejaculation you may well need to drastically reduce or eliminate orgasms during your reboot (and certainly no forcing arousal with your old fantasies!). Meanwhile, there's a lot you can do with your girlfriend that will benefit you both. Ideas here: The Lazy Way to Stay in Love (bonding behaviors) and Another Way to Make Love (sex without going for climax).

KEY POINT: Having orgasms or trying to force erections may be counterproductive - especially if you have ED, but kissing, touching, and fooling around, can help rewire your brain to the real thing. Keep in mind, artificial stimuli through screens caused your addiction or ED, not human contact. You not only need to weaken your porn neural pathways, you need to strengthen you "real thing" pathways. Have a look at Boyfriend Quitting Porn? 5 Tips.

One man explained his changes in sexual responsiveness this way:

In cases where men masturbate chronically and then all of a sudden have an experience with a woman, intercourse seems so different. This has happened to me several times in my life and now I understand what was going on. The first girl I had sex with I lost my erection because I didn't "feel" anything after having intercourse for a bit. It's sooo different from masturbating that our mind gets a little confused because the sensation is different. For me if I lost that sense of feeling myself then the erection would diminish. Now, once I got into a stable, long-term relationship I had lots of time to practice. While married never went back to masturbating. However, once I got separated, I went a year and a half with having to take care of myself again (masturbation). Then when I first started making love with my new gf at that time, I experienced that lack of feeling all over again. At first I thought it was her, but then I realized the longer I went without masturbating, the more I could feel myself inside of her, and everything was okay again.

It's not easy to talk about such delicate matters as recovery from overuse of porn. But you might say, "Everyone says Internet porn is harmless, but for me it hasn't been. And I really need a long time-out to restore my brain to normal sensitivity—because I want to be the best lover you could ever have." You could have her watch this series so she understands what's going on: Your Brain On Porn Series.

You need to tell her something, because otherwise she will think you don't find her attractive. She, too, has been influenced by our porn culture—in which artificially erect men appear to perform effortlessly forever. Reassure her (1) that the slowdown is due to your issue, (2) that you are dealing with it, and (3) that you really like her. There are lots of other ways to let her know that besides sexual performance.

Know that your sexual performance is likely to be outstanding once you are fully recovered. Read others' "ED Recovery Stories" in the links on this page.

A wise elder had this advice to guys worrying about performance after a reboot.

There's a saying that goes, "Courage is only courage when you're afraid". My rule around fear is, whatever I'm afraid of I head straight towards. The only way around fear is through it. I used to have a irrational fear of deep water so I went out and took diving lesson, as well as rolling lessons in a kayak. That fear is no longer there.

So you're afraid of a limp dick with a woman who may want you. So, we all are. Don't let that stop you. Let's say you're in a social situation and awoman you find attractive expresses some interest in you. You can respond with fear and slink away with your limp dick fear, or you could strike up a conversation and move towards the situation that your fear screams at you to run away from. When she says, "would you like to come back to my place?" you look her in the eyes and say, "I find you very attractive; youre a beautiful woman and I'd love to take you up on your offer. I do want to let you know I have a bit of ED going on right now and I can't promise I'll be able to get it up for you. Heaven knows you deserve it. What I can offer you is a tongue that will curl your toes, and I am completely in charge of that appendage. So if you're still interested I would be honored". I highly doubt she would turn you down.

See, erect masculine presence is far more of a turn-on to a woman than just an erect penis. Men think performance is what women want but it's masculine presence they yearn for. A man who wrestles his demons exudes an energy that's usually attractive to the feminine. When you suck in on yourself, that is a way bigger turn-off than a softy. Fear shrinks when you challenge it and grows when you run from it. Fear is a bully with no bite, unless you give him teeth.

A 50-year man had this advice:

I say tell her, but go slowly. Too much information too quickly tends to freak people out. So telling her that when you were 'single' you used to masturbate a lot is already kind of creepy. Adding in porn makes it worse. Admitting to gross porn makes it really, really bad (if this is the case for you).

I think I'd start out with: "Hey, you know how guys tend to masturbate a lot? well, I used to do that but I quit. but for a lot of guys that tends to mess up their libido for a while, and I'm kind of in that place now. I mean I want to, but jr. isn't really responsive all the time -- if you know what I mean. long term it's getting better, and I know it's the right thing to do; because I no longer want masturbation in my life -- but rather just meaningful and beautiful sex with one-and-only-one woman. So if it's OK with you we can just get naked and cuddle with no other expectations other than if you want more I can do other stuff -- and if jr. comes to life we can do that too, ok?"

I think you have a 50/50 shot at this point in your relationship, honestly. What you have to avoid is her going to a place in her head that creeps her out, and this subject has the potential to be pretty creepy -- especially in a new relationship.

One thing to head off for sure though, is you've got to make sure she never internalizes it and says, "I'm not turning him on." because that is a sure way to make her run.

This is all very fucked up. It takes a very long time to heal. Rushing anything makes it worse.

I know life is short, and you meet girls when you meet them -- and you don't have a lot of control over that... but trying to throw all this baggage into a new relationship is just not good or easy.

TL;DR: Of course, the only thing you have to lose is your new gf. And if you can't perform and don't explain quickly she's gone. And if you go overboard explaining or creep her out in the process, she's gone. So you don't really have anything to lose because the only way that I see that she's NOT gone is talking it out first.

 Here are other men's stories:


If you're in a relationship, tell her! I cannot stress this enough. Do NOT keep this from your partner; she isn't stupid and will either figure it out on her own and resent you for not trusting her, or she will sooner or later recognize something is wrong and will leave you eventually because you won't share with her.

Yes, she may run for the door if you tell her, but she will definitely do that if you don't. (my girl confessed to me that if I hadn't opened up or hadn't involved her she would probably have been on her way out in a couple of weeks - which would have been devastating to me. I really believe she and I click on so many levels, I truly believe she's the one for me - something I haven't felt before with anyone.

So if you feel even remotely the same way about your partner, do NOT chance it. Just tell her!!)


Day 7 - I had cooked up all sorts of various lies so I could avoid sex, but on day 5, after reading all of the replies several times, I confronted my girlfriend about my situation. Man... I think it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I started telling her slowly about it, how something was "wrong" with me. My voice started cracking up and I nearly started crying. I felt so disgusted with myself. But then I heard the most loving words ever spoken to me: "Don`t worry. It will be all right, We will get through this together." Damn, I love this woman ;-)


 I ended up telling my gf about the whole thing and she's being awesome and supportive. Telling her about this was one of the hardest things I've done in my life. I felt so vulnerable and uncomfortable lol. But it really brought us that much closer.


My girlfriend  lives about an hour and 1/2 away from me. I told her I was giving up porn and was going to give my body a break from orgasms indefinitely. (She knew i watched porn) Things have worked in my favor with that because we didn't see each other for a couple of weeks prior and when we did she was having the monthly. Just so happen we were hanging out last weekend and i started getting hard (about 70% which is great for me, given where I was a month ago) and that was on the 31st day. The sexual experience was different because I actually felt her whereas before i felt something but it wasn't like yesterday.


I also told my girlfriend. I know a lot of guys on here are uncertain or afraid to do this. GUYS, I am telling you right now: PUT IT ALL ON THE TABLE. Yes the conversation was embarrassing and awkward, but ultimately, it needed to happen in order for the relationship to be an honest one and one that could continue. My girlfriend was fortunately understanding, especially when I gave her the link to YBOP.


Gave in last night to my girlfriend one last time. We were hooking up for a while and I eventually got one of those 80 percent erections again. Weird how those come up but they aren't full. Anyways she gave me head and I wasn't gonna orgasm but accidentally lost it. I was mad at first it had been ten days since my last O.

As a result of my frustration, I told her about my problem. And that it was important I go a month straight without any sex, oral sex, or masturbation, but that I can still do Whatever to her. This was great. Just perfect. Now were both committed to it and I told her not to give me anything till after the month.


My girlfriend just broke up with me. I hadn't told her. We didn't try sex at all because I wasn't ready for it. She is really aggressiveand straightforward when it comes to sexuality and I'm pretty slow given that I am rebooting. We haven't done much of anything and she got tired of it as a result. I can understand her frustration. I didn't want to jump into sex because I know that if it isn't a success then I'm going to be really shaken up by that. The last time I had ED with someone I went into a pretty depressed state. I like her a lot, we have an emotional connection, and I feel pretty comfortable with her but I just didn't have a desire for sex because my libido is so low.


If you don't feel close enough to open up, at least tell her that you have noticed that relationships that start out more slowly tend to last longer, and that therefore—even though you very much want to ravish her—you are starting slowly in hopes that the relationship will last for a while.

To the extent anxiety is part of the picture, it may be important to be with a partner you trust and can talk with openly, or at least with whom you can take things very slowly. In other words, it may be unwise to test your erectile response in a porn-style scenario where you just meet someone and demand that your body perform on command.

Most people here seem to notice more sexual response where there is lots of warm affection and a relaxed approach. This makes sense because anxiety inhibits erections—even in a rebooted brain. And warm touch lowers stress.

Finally, here are comments by various men on the forum..

The first speaker has completely recovered his sexual performance after arriving at the site with ED. He's now 71 days without PMO.

Your girlfriend needs to know that what is going on is an addiction process rather than your conscious choice. Watch this series together.  Tell her that you have been desensitized by porn but that you want to return to normal. Tell her about yourbrainonporn.com and that a reboot is the way to restore your sexual sensitivity for real women. Tell her that you are attracted to her, but that at this moment your normal feelings of arousal and sexual responsiveness have been numbed. You *know* you're attracted to her but your body doesn't and, at the moment, won't get as aroused as when you watch porn. But that she is more important, so you're going to sort things out.

Finally, it would be best if you tell her that you really want her and that you are doing this reboot to fix things, but that ultimately you leave the choice to her. This may sound counter-intuitive, but this way you won't cling onto her. Give her the choice to leave you or not. After all the reboot process will affect her as well in some way. Whatever happens, do this reboot mostly for your future self.


I am still seeing a few girls at the moment but taking it extremely slow with all of them. I have not yet been in a situation which could have forced me to open up about my "experiment" but I am willing to do so if necessary. For now, I feel pretty excited while making out with girls and this shows physically. Being in this state of arousal will not make it easy to refuse going further though.

I feel that I have stalled with one of these girls (seeing her tonight) for so long that she will start asking some uncomfortable questions soon. I plan on saying: "I can't go any further, because I am currently undergoing a self-experiment. I feel like I have desensitized myself and decided to abstain from any sexual behavior for a longer period of time". I don't think there is any need to be overly open about pornography use, addiction or even dysfunction of any kind - that's all my personal business.


The softness and shriveling are absolutely part of it. I did the same as you. I would go a week or so no PMO and then give in because I was so horny, or else I would do PM just in hopes it would charge up my libido. This only made things worse. You will have to go through some weeks—some people go months—where you are worried that your libido is going away forever and even more worried your penis is getting so small you think it's retracting into your stomach like the head of turtle. It's terrifying. It really is. But just decide you are going to be strict with yourself so your body has time to get back into balance.

You sound like a disciplined guy, running and benching.You have chemically injured your sex-system and now you need to put a cast on it and let it heal. If I were you (and this is what got me consistent) I would get a piece of graph paper, and each day you go without any PMO, shade in a little box, perhaps before you go to bed. You might relapse a few more times, but once you get a good "run" going, your competitive nature will take over and before you know it two months will have passed and you will be in shape again.

I've gone a little over two months now and things are much better.As for pursuing relationships while recovering, I would say if the relationship can't wait for two months, or can't coexist with the healing process for two months, then take two months off from that relationship. There are creative solutions. But you want and need to get this taken care of, so make it a priority. Good luck!


What's interesting is that this girl hasn't really been troubled by my ED problem. She is reassessing her relationship to sex at the moment (6 month sex ban) so I guess in a way is relieved to find someone who isn't putting pressure on her. It's crazy we found each other at these points in our lives. The timing seems too perfect to be true. 

By contrast, my ex took my ED really personally. At the time I didn't know what or why it was happening so I couldn't explain it to her. In the bedroom the two of us were always confused and frustrated.I feel it's time to tell my new girlfriend about my recent sexual history and the things I am going through. It feels like a gutsy move, but after last weekend [lots of intimacy, no sex] I trust her and feel that she deserves to know.


I've got a new story to tell about something amazing that happened this very night (night 21). But first I must share my discoveries/theories about the rebooting stage that I'm currently in. I am finding that fantasy, for me, is the final thread that must be cut to truly detach myself from the grip of porn. Unfortunately it seems to be the strongest of all threads.

Giving up porn was like throwing my poor brain off of the boat into a life boat. Giving up Masturbation was like throwing him into the water with a floaty. It feels like when I let go of the fantasies, my brain is going "Hey, WHAT THE HELL MAN!" as I withdraw the floaty. And then it's into the deep! This is what I experienced between days 16 to today (21)..flatline. 

It has been so tempting to relapse into fantasy because, I have this feeling that the only way I can attain a spontaneous erection (which is the only kind I am allowing myself to have for now) is to dwell on sexual fantasy. The brain craves it more and more as you try to stop. The good news is (bad news for the impatient) is that as you let go of fantasy and begin to allow reality to take its place, your mind begins to become less sensitive to the fantasies. Unfortunately, i am finding that it loses sensitivity to the fantasies before it begins to embrace reality resulting in a period of time where it seems that nothing is stimulating (flatline). Very scary. But not to fear!See next paragraph:

I hooked up with an amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman tonight. She is someone from my past that I have always liked, but our paths just never crossed in that way. I was very apprehensive at first when she texted me that she really wanted to see me tomorrow night (tonight). I knew that I hadn't rebooted and, what's worse, that I was in flatline. I had a crucial exam the next day and between that, and the anxiety over wondering what to do in regards to this girl, I couldn't sleep at all. So after having no rest, sitting through a 4-hour exam, and being in flatline, I proceeded to text her that I wanted to meet her at 8:00.

I realized that it's not like I can just blow her off until I think I'm rebooted, which could be another 60+ days for all I know; I must go for it now. So we hooked up, and I'm sooooo glad I did. We had dinner, a few drinks and shot pool. Then we went back to her car and started to make out. At first, I wasn't feeling anything down there but warmth and some increased blood-flow. It's weird to be physically aroused and totally into it but no erection.

Eventually, the moment that I think we all dread the most happened when she made mention of the fact that she couldn't "feel me". That was a shitty moment!

But here's where it all turned around. At this point, I thought, "I can make up some BS excuse as to why this is happening, or I can just F-n grow a pair, and tell her about porn addiction, rebooting and the whole mess and let the chips fall where they may."

So, after some brief consideration, I told her the truth.To my surprise, she was very understanding about the many forms of sexual addiction and how they can effect the brain (so smart). I told her that I would have to take it slow and that it wouldn't be a good idea to go all the way until I was rebooted. This actually led to a very stimulating conversation about sex, love, spirituality, and culture. This led to us making out again.

As things got hotter and as she rubbed against me I eventually got hard. At no point did I touch myself or anything. We must have continued making out for 2 hours. It was amazing. I kept it clean for the most part -- no going into the pants. She was loving it too. We both felt real connection. I really really like this girl and intend to pursue things further.

It's weird, on day 15 say, my fantasies could give me an erection in about 20 seconds, but it took me like 15 minutes to get one with a real woman. This shows that there is a huge difference between fantasy and the real thing in terms of the whole reproductive process, and that I am still not fully rebooted. It also shows, however, that flatline is not necessarily absolute, though it is real. After that amazing experience I don't even feel like fantasizing. I'd rather just wait until I see her again.


how my bf's PMO uknowingly pushed me into a dark place...and why there's light in the tunnel [female]

Hi guys (and girls)

First of all - I am a girl so if you're against girls posting here please don't read further. It might contain triggers for some.

Secondly - I'm posting this because I seriousy believe this can help some people out there. Also English is not my first language, so pls forgive any mistakes I'm going to make.

Here it goes: I'm 26 yo. I have a wonderful boyfriend (32) and we've had a great relationship... until about a year ago something started to go wrong.

At first he started avoiding sex. We only had sex every 4-6 weeks... and ONLY because I was begging for it. He was always "tired" and uninterested; talked about "stress at work", told me "not to exxagerate". "Life is not all about sex you know" - he used to say... I started questioning myself, my looks, my worth. For me it wasn't even about sex, I wanted intimacy. I wanted him to be interested in me as a woman, wanted to feel WANTED. But that was non-existent. Colleagues at work complemented on how nice I looked, some men were still hitting at me out there, but at home, there was NOTHING. And when we had sex it was nothing like it used to be. Automatic, rough, very porn-like. No hugging afterwards. No kissing. No foreplay. Sex - orgasm - you got what you wanted, now leave me for 4 weeks.

Other aspects of our relation seemed OK, so I thought this is just a rough period we're going through and that eventually it will get better. I decided to be patient and understanding. I stopped asking for sex.

Soon after those problems started I've begun noticing my boyfriend was more and more cynical, distant, harsh on me. He made stupid comments. Nothing really nasty, but he just wasn't nice to me anymore...

Sometimes he would sit there and it looked like.....like he lacked soul. I'm sorry if this comparison seems horrible, but this is exactly how I percived him. He avoided other people, liked being on his own, didn't want to go out... I often made comments like "we're not 70 yet, let's enjoy life hun", tried to get him interested in different things but it didn't work. Everytime I gave him a hug, a kiss on the chick I would not get ANY reaction. When we were watching a movie together and I tried leaning on him gently, just to feel some sort of human contact, he would say " don't touch me honey, I was so comfortable on my own, just want to see the movie".

I had no idea what was wrong. Maybe he just wasn't that kind of "touchy" person? Maybe that was his nature? Maybe I want too much? Maybe next month/year it will change...

I hated the cold person he was becoming. We started arguing more and more often. And to have sex once every month, every two months was killing me. I often cried (usually in private, but sometimes in front of him to make him realise what this is doing to me. It didn't help).

I turned to ocasional masturbation. I didn't want to cheat on him and my sex-drive was high, so this seemed like a rational move. But I felt insecure and unhappy. I still wanted to have a "man" at home, not just someone who would do the shopping and drive me to work.

I started fantasising about other men. I would imagine a life with someone else, someone affectionate, warm. Someone who would hold my hand, someone who would hug me at night, someone who liked sex. I would think about it at night, lying next to my boyfriend - who by that time was more like a robot than a real man to me. For the first time in months I started noticing other guys interested in me. When I was happy I never paid any attention to their advances, but now their nice words helped me feel like a woman. I never went out with any of those guys, never cheated. They just seemed so caring and romantic comparing to my boyfriend.

Than, a week ago, I discovered that my boyfriend is seriously addicted to porn and masturbation. I borrowed his laptop and saw all those things... It became clear to me that all those months I was trying to "connect" with him... he spent looking at other women. Porn actresses. He was also registered on one of the adult "dating" sites and sent messages to some women there. Young, old... One of them was as old as my mum. She was not even attractive, not someone I woud ever feel treatened by in real life... Why on Earth would he do that to me? The beakdown I had at that moment is indescribable... :/// I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I confronted him. This is when he broke down and admitted he was a PMO addict. All that time I thought he was uninterested in sex... he spent nearly every morning masturbating in the bathroom watching porn. I remember he liked spending a lot of time in the bathroom but it ever occured to me that this was the reason why. It came as a shock - complete shock - because I never ever imagine him to be one of "those guys"... You see, I thought the only guys masturbating to porn are those who can't get "normal sex"... Masculine, successful, handsome men don't spend their mornings touching their genitals... That's what I though. It didn't make any sense to me.

His honesty was the only reason I didn't move out then and there. I cried and cried over the next days... I don't want to go into details of what I've been through but it was the most horrible thing to experience. As a woman I felt my world has collapsed. To know that he was arroused by "those women" and preferred them to me was just heart-breaking.

I looked for information about porn addiction and discovered yourbrainonporn, this forum, other sites... We talked a lot. A lot. And this is probably what saved the feelings I had left for him. He told me he is determined to beat it. It became obvious that this is the first time he realised he HAS a SERIOUS PROBLEM. I didn't understand why he hasn't noticed that earlier?! This was pushing him into a very dark place...away from me, his family and life in general. I thought to myself that if ever reached a point where looking at countless penises online would be my preffered activity... I would surely realise I had a problem, right? To be in the best years of your life and waste them like that... He must have known... Or so I thought. The more are read about porn-addcition the more I undestood...

I now believe him he might not have realised where porn was taking him. Why? Because I - too - started going in that direction and didn't notice any red falgs...: I was in a relationship and masturbated way more often than when I was single... I was unhappy but didn't know why.... I blamed others. Who knows where would it take me..

Up until last Saturday I never viewed porn as a negative thing. In fact, I've always been "open-minded" about it and thought it can't hurt you if you know how to use it. This is B*S. It will hurt you if you use it. It will make you sad, lonely, detached. Unhappy. There is nothing good that you can get out of your relationship with porn. I wish people spoke more openly about what PMO has done to their lives.

We've almost lost each other. I'm not saying we will definately get through it - it's only been a week and I know his problem goes waaay back. He was hiding it for years. There is no doubt he will find this journey hard. And I have to trust him again, belive in myself, stop comparing myself to other women... It will be hard :/ But his heart and mind are in the right place. And mine are too.

So we're doing this 90-days no PMO challenge together. I sincerely hope it will "rewire" our minds and bodies. I honestly don't want to spend my life like this. I know he feels the same.

I know we have everything we need to succeed. I'm wondering whether it would help anyone if I wrote here from time to time, telling obout our experience...

I hope you find it in yourself and realise you're so much better that this sh*t. Real life is waiting for you.Don't spend your valuable time looking at strange women spreading their legs and random guys getting between them... :/ :/ :/

I admire you all for being strong, for continuing on this journey and for wanting to change :)

    mynameisHappyEnd

START HERE: Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction

  • YBOP suggests you see a competent medical professional to rule out psychological issues, dietary deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, or other organic causes.
  1. You should also read Rebooting Basics.
  2. Many experts are starting to recognize this recent phenomenon. See Porn-Induced ED in the Media: Primarily Experts which contains articles, blog posts, and radio & TV interviews.
  3. Watch this 13 minute video blog - Porn-Induced ED Reboot Advice Vlog: Gabe Deem (9 months to have sex, 15 months to get an erection by my own touch alone)

Update: 60% of compulsive porn users in this brain scan study reported erectile dysfunction - Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014). From the study (CSB are compulsive porn users):

CSB subjects reported that as a result of excessive use of sexually explicit materials.....experienced diminished libido or erectile function specifically in physical relationships with women (although not in relationship to the sexually explicit material) (N = 11)...

The subjects stated that porn use caused their ED. The average age was 25, yet 11 out of the 19 subjects experienced erectile dysfunction/diminished libido with partners, but not with porn.


 

MAIN ARTICLE

Are you a heavy porn user who is developing erectile dysfunction? There may be a erectile dysfunction and pornography addictionconnection between the two. Since writing our first few articles on porn-induced ED we have seen two diverging patterns of recovery:

1) A few men bounce back in a relatively short time: about 2-3 weeks. Perhaps their ED is due to mild psychological conditioning, or very high levels of masturbation (fueled by porn), or low level desensitization.

2) The vast majority of guys we encounter need 2-6 months (or longer) to fully recover. Most "long-rebooters" experience a variety of withdrawal symptoms, including the dreaded flatline. It's likely that men in this group have experienced addiction-related changes that reduce stimulation of the brain's erection centers. Other possible mechanisms at play include sexual conditioning, especially among young guys who started early on Internet porn

Many men cannot believe that Internet porn has caused their ED—until they stop using it and recover completely. Instead, men tend to assume their ED with a sexual partner is caused by anxiety, low testosterone, the fact the person is not their "type," or lifestyle factors such as smoking or poor diet. If you are under 40, and not on specific medications, and don't have a serious medical or psychological condition, the causes of your copulatory ED are almost certainly performance anxiety or Internet porn—or a combination of the two.

Note: We use the term porn-induced sexual dysfunction because porn-related performance problems encompass far more than just ED (see the list below). However, porn-induced erectile dysfunction has emerged as the most common term with PIED as the favored acronym.


 

Wondering if your problem is porn-related?

The first bit of advice is to see a good doctor to rule out any medical abnormality. If you have done so, try this simple test. It will help to distinguish between porn-induced ED and performance anxiety-induced ED (the most common diagnosis):

  1. On one occasion masturbate to your favorite porn (or simply remember what it was like).
  2. On another masturbate with no porn/porn fantasy. Try masturbating to sensation only (no fantasy), with the same speed and pressure you would experience during intercourse.

Compare one and two: quality of your erection, the time it took to ejaculate (if you can). A healthy young man should have no trouble attaining a full erection and masturbating to orgasm without porn or porn fantasy.

  • If you have a strong erection on #1, but erectile dysfunction on #2, then you likely have porn-induced ED.
  • If #2 is strong and solid, but you have trouble with a real partner, then you likely have anxiety-induced ED
  • If you have problems during both 1 & 2, you may have severe porn-induced ED, or an organic problem. When in doubt, see a good doctor.

The above test is helpful to differentiate porn-induced ED from performance anxiety: You cannot have anxiety with your own hand. However, it cannot always differentiate between organic ED (hormonal, structural) and severe porn-induced ED - as many men with porn-induced ED cannot maintain an erection even with porn. This test cannot assess if your ED arises from severe psychological issues such as clinical depression. Nor is the above test meant to assess whether you have recovered from porn-induced ED or not. (See How do I know when I'm back to normal?).

Other symptoms may be associated with porn-induced brain changes:

  • Difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner (delayed ejaculation)
  • Experiencing greater sexual excitement using porn than with a partner
  • Decreasing sensitivity of penis
  • Ejaculating when you are only partly erect, or getting totally erect only as you climax
  • Needing to fantasize to maintain erection or interest in sexual partner
  • Earlier genres of porn are no longer "exciting"
  • Declining sexual arousal with a sexual partner(s)
  • Losing erection while attempting penetration
  • Can't maintain erection or ejaculate with oral sex

 

Internet porn use can cause ED;  "excessive masturbation" or "sexual exhaustion" do not.

Internet porn (or rather its constant novelty) is the cause of chronic porn-related ED. Excessive ejaculation and "sexual exhaustion" are not. I've never heard of masturbation causing chronic ED in healthy young men, unless one employs a serious "death grip" or traumatic masturbation techniques. Another myth is that masturbation or orgasm depletes testosterone leading to what many call "sexual exhaustion." It's clear that Porn-induced ED has absolutely nothing to do with blood testosterone levels. (See: Any connection between orgasm, masturbation, and testosterone levels?)  A few websites declare that "over-masturbation" leads to sexual exhaustion and present convoluted physiology to convince the reader. I address these claims in - Isn't my ED caused by 'sexual exhaustion?'

On the other hand, it's possible that masturbation and orgasm could play an indirect role in porn-induced ED. Frequent ejaculation in animals leads to several brain changes that inhibit dopamine, and thus libido, for several days. Under normal circumstances, sexual satiety (defined differently for each species) leads to males taking a time out from sexual activity. Sexually satiated porn users may override these inhibitory mechanisms by escalating to new genres of porn, or spending more time watching. Using porn to push past "I'm done" signals may lead to the accumulation of DeltaFosB. Without the lure of Internet porn, how many guys would just give it a rest? For more see: Does Frequent Ejaculation Cause A Hangover?

Why now? How different is Internet porn of today from porn of the past? We know of a healthy young man who did not masturbate, but developed ED by just watching Internet porn. His schedule was to watch porn every day, but to masturbate only once every ten days. Others have developed ED by edging to porn, while only orgasming every few months.

Internet porn, with or without penile stimulation, keeps dopamine surging. Continued highspeed porn use, not masturbation, is what causes tolerance and escalation to more stimulating genres. Porn is what allows you to override your natural sexual satiation mechanisms and continue to masturbate or edge.

One guy comparing himself to his buddy:

My friend masturbates like 10-15 times a day. Not even exaggerating. He seriously has an addiction, but he thinks its normal. He also doesn't have Internet access, so he never really gets to watch porn either. And he's never had a problem keeping it up in bed. On the other hand, I can't remember the last time I masturbated without looking at porn. But I might masturbate only 4-5 times a week on average. And I have tremendous issues staying hard. At first I thought it was nerves, but after getting more acclimated with sex, I actually found sex to be tiring and boring. Unless the girl was deepthroating me and telling me to choke her, I don't really find sex to be all that great. I'm very desensitized to the female anatomy.

Strictly speaking, you don't have to be watching porn to develop ED:

I know with me I think I got so used to being almost hypnotized by girls online and masturbation, that real girls that I had to interact with in bed just threw me off and I couldn't perform. I'm not even talking about porn, I don't use porn but still look at clothed pictures of women online. Like a lot of other people here, I have relapsed plenty of times. I personally think it DOES have to be all or nothing, no 'little bit here and there.' You may not relapse if you start looking at girls online again, but I'm sure it slows down your reboot. I thought the same thing, that if I look just a little bit every once in awhile it would cumulatively fix me, it didn't.

In the last 20 years, I used to masturbate an average of more than once a day. I was never into porn. And yet, I experience all the symptoms that you guys do.

The problem isn't in your penis, so Viagra won't stop the deterioration even if it can temporarily mask the problem. The solution for PIED is to reboot your brain. For a psychiatrist's explanation of what's going on, here's an excerpt from The Brain That Changes Itself by psychiatrist Norman Doidge.

During the mid- to late 1990s, when the Internet was growing rapidly and pornography was exploding on it, I treated or assessed a number of men who all had essentially the same story. ... They reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual sexual partners, spouses or girlfriends, though they still considered them objectively attractive. When I asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex but over time had the opposite effect. Now, instead of using their senses to enjoy being in bed, in the present, with their partners, lovemaking increasingly required them to fantasize that they were part of a porn script.

Lately we have seen more females describing porn-induced sexual problems:

Porn causing ED in Men/Causing loss of sex drive in women

I am female and I used to watch porn all the time. Mainly because my boyfriend could not get turned on without watching porn first. So he had me watch it with him.For a long time I could not get turned on without watching porn first and then having sex or masturbating. After a while I could not get turned on at all without porn and I could get an orgasm only when I masturbated, but not from sex. I have talked to female friends and some of them can not orgasm from sex but they can when they watch porn. So this does not only affect guys it affect women also.
 


 

What's happening in the brain to cause chronic ED?

Only the Cambridge study has described ED or low libido as being related to compulsive porn use, and they found strong evidence of sensitization. That is, compulsive porn users reward circuits light up far more that controls when viewing porn.  The discrepancy between masturbating to online porn and real sex plays a huge role. Real sex is touching, being touched, smells, pheromones, connecting and interacting with a person. Internet porn is 2-D voyeurism, clicking a mouse, searching, multiple tabs, while only interacting with your hand. To use a sports analogy, what event has your brain been training for? Besides addiction-related brain changes, years of Internet porn can create a mismatch between what your brain expects, and what you actually encounter during real sex.

I suspect that a combination of the following leads to porn-induced sexual dysfunction:

  1. Brain rewiring or sensitization to Internet porn. In essence, it's wiring (or rewiring) one's sex response to 2D screens and voyeurism. Watch Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn and listen to these radio shows to understand rewiring & escalation: Porn, escalation, tolerance and morphing sexual tastes (show #16) and Porn, sexual conditioning and the adolescent brain (show #17). Rewiring can manifest as escalation to genres that don't match your original sexual tastes. Wiring your sexual response to Internet porn before wiring to real partners (starting early with porn) is a major factor in long reboots for young guys.
  2. Reward circuitry desensitization.This Max Planck study reported desensitization even in moderate porn users.
  3. Alteration of the hypothalamus sexual centers, which does not occur in other addictions.
  4. Conditioning to a certain level of visual and auditory stimuli, along with the novelty and rapid-fire delivery system.
  5. Death grip and rapid jerking (multiple levels of nervous-system adaptation).
  6. Psychological aspects of using Internet porn (hard to quantify).

Other "Psychology Today" posts, which address this phenomenon:

Both sexual desire and erections run on dopamine from the brain's reward circuitry. The dopamine-producing nerve cells in the reward circuitry activate the sexual (libido) centers of the hypothalamus, which in turn activate the erection centers in the spinal cord, which send nerve impulses to the genitalia.

Logic dictates that desensitization (decline in dopamine signaling) of the reward circuit has occurred in men with porn-induced ED. Just as important is the process of sensitization, which is formation of Pavlovian addiction pathways for Internet porn. Desensitization is a general dialing down for all pleasure seeking activities, while sensitization ramps up the reward circuit for only one stimulus: your addiction.

Although all rewards intertwine into overlapping circuits, each natural reward (food, water, love and sex) has its own devoted micro-circuits. With porn-induced ED, I suspect that male sexual centers (hypothalamus) and limbic circuits devoted to sexuality are also affected. Erections require adequate dopamine in the reward circuit and the male sexual centers. Could it be that years of overstimulation down-regulate dopamine signaling and rewire innate sexual circuits? ED in healthy young men, which takes months to reverse, suggests this is likely.

What is understandably confusing is that guys can get an itch to masturbate while they are experiencing erectile problems. The urge to jerk off is similar as the urge to eat junk food when you are obese. It's an addiction response to 1) reduced dopamine signaling which leaves you unsatisfied, plus 2) sensitized addiction pathways bombarding the reward circuit with "do it" messages. In a guy with porn-induced ED, this buzzing of your reward circuit isn't true libido; it's a cue-induced, drug-like craving.

To develop porn-induced ED, heavy porn users have spent years overriding their normal mechanisms. Once porn users with ED stop, they generally experience a period of no libido and “dead dick.” They are now experiencing their true libido, minus the 'drug.' For years, they have simply ignored their true libido (when it signaled, "Enough!"). The urge to use was an urge triggered by cues for their addiction.

Is an obese person who finished a large meal 2 hours ago truly hungry? No. Would a severely overweight person eat as many calories if she had only a hunter-gather diet of wild game, nuts and occasional berries? Of course not. When porn users remove the superstimulus (Internet porn) they discover their true libido, which then gradually returns to normal.

For first-hand accounts of erectile dysfunction recovery see the links here. Also see these Rebooting Accounts as they describe the recovery process, including ED. The "Benefits" PDF document contains many mini-self-reports, and we update it periodically.

Here's a pep talk from a guy who recovered to another guy who, 15 days into recovery, had "absolutely no sex drive or erections":

This is normal. Hang in there. You probably are getting night erections (and morning erections) you just don't realise. If you wake up to an alarm, try waking up naturally. This will make sure you wake up just after the REM cycle and you'll still have your nocturnal wood. This might restore some faith in your penis. Best thing you can do though is give it time. Your body is amazingly adaptable and will restore balance eventually.


 

What do guys who successfully recover suggest?

  • Always keep in mind that about porn-induced ED is on a spectrum. You must judge what's right for you based on your history and current symptoms. Be flexible in your approach.
  1. From all reports, the fastest and easiest recovery path is elimination of all artificial sexual stimulation, including porn and porn fantasy, chat rooms, erotic stories, etc. See - What stimuli must I avoid during my reboot?
  2. Most guys need to temporarily eliminate, or drastically reduce the frequency masturbation and orgasms.
  3. It's important to rewire your sexual response to real life partners. See Do I have to have sex in order to rewire?

Number one means exactly what is says, which includes surfing dating sites or Facebook for images, or YouTube videos, or home made videos. It's not so much content as whether you are mimicking the behaviors that wired your brain to need novel, artificial stimulation.

Number two is the most controversial. Logic indicates that you need only eliminate porn to regain erectile health. However, experience of successful rebooters tells a different story. Nearly all of the men who recovered from porn-induced ED - and posted rebooting accounts - temporarily eliminated masturbation and drastically reduced frequency of orgasms (even with a partner).

  • Key point: Our information comes from those who have posted rebooting accounts. There may be many guys who easily recover while continuing to regularly orgasm
  • Key point 2: Longer is not necessarily better, when it comes to complete abstinence from ejaculation. You need to be flexible and monitor the effects of orgasm as you progress in your reboot.

Think of it this way - if you have porn-induced ED, your brain is saying: "I can't do this anymore." Understand that your urge to masturbate may not be true libido - it may arise from addiction-related brain changes. If you need porn to masturbate, or have a partially erect penis when you do, you are not horny or in need of "release." You are addicted and under the influence of loud signals (cravings) to seek a temporary dopamine high.

Those who continue to regularly masturbate and orgasm during their recovery tend to become frustrated at their lack of progress and give up. Since we have very little data on those who continue to orgasm, we can only report the success stories we have.

That said, a few men do continue to masturbate or have orgasms with a partner and make decent progress. What makes these guys different? Nearly all started late on Internet porn and had a steady diet of sex or masturbation to fantasy for years before Internet porn. For example:

I'm married, like you. I gave up the P and the M...but not the O's with my lovely wife. We had regular sex throughout my reboot. I still healed just fine. I no longer suffer from ED or PE at all, and my sex life is getting better all the time.

I'd never say my way is the only way. I just know it worked for me. And I ALSO think that I might have healed faster if I had abstained from the O's with my woman for a while...though I will never be sure. In my mind, it was a tradeoff I was willing to make. And it worked out well.

Another way to view porn-induced ED: Sometimes healing involves more than just removing the original cause of the problem. If you break your leg in three places, it takes more to heal than simply avoiding further accidents. You need to cast, immobilize, and not put stress on that leg until the bone is strong. Sexual contact is great, but ejaculation and staying close to the edge of ejaculation can slow your progress.

And when the leg starts to feel better you don't test it by playing tackle football. In other words, having several orgasms in a row, following months of rebooting, may set you back. Ease into ejaculation. Although you may be functioning OK, most guys report continued progress for months. Continued healing is the norm.

  • Caveat: All the above is based on the current feedback given to us by successful rebooters. It is subject to change.
  • Some guys with porn-induced ED need to eventually orgasm in order to jump-start their brains after a reboot or extended flatline.

YBOP is NOT an anti-masturbation website. I need to shout this, because I've read this nonsense on many forums, where discussions over Internet porn causing ED quickly devolve into pro/con masturbation debates. The name of the site is "Your Brain On Porn." Confusion occurs because: 1) this generation sees masturbation and porn use as synonymous, 2) men who recover best from ED do so by also eliminating masturbation/orgasm (temporarily). It's real simple: few men heal porn-induced ED while continuing on a regular masturbation schedule. We do not advocate abstinence as a permanent lifestyle.

The last thing you want to do is to become so "anal" that you never attempt to give up porn. Check out this thread on The Orgasm Reboot, and this thread on a cult being developed around masturbation being unhealthy. The take away from both threads is that guys quit trying because they believe that rebooting is all or none. This is complete nonsense. If you fall back into porn use, you have not lost all your gains. Simply begin the process again.

Number three, rewiring to the real deal (sex with humans), may be the key, especially for young men who grew up using Internet porn. (See Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn) This does not mean that you need to have sex to "rewire." In fact, slowly getting to know someone is probably the best path. Snuggling, smooching, hanging out, whatever you can do to connect sexual arousal and affection to a real person, may be essential to your recovery. Said one young guy who recoverd from PIED:

Rewiring is just as important as avoiding porn. While it appears that a certain amount of time away from orgasm is needed, this number is not as great as most people think it is.

You see, a common mistake is that people try and tackle the reboot as if it's two separate pieces: reboot, THEN rewire. It's not. You can start rewiring whenever you want. The more rewiring you do, the faster you'll be cured of ED. Maybe you need to reduce or eliminate orgasm but that doesn't mean you can't rewire at all.

Sex can be beneficial, although orgasm can cause cravings, and seems to slow ED recovery. Some guys suggest gentle intercourse with no ejaculation, while others mix in ejaculation. If you have ED and decide to orgasm regularly, do not compare yourself to rebooting accounts where guys abstained from orgasm. If you are trying to reboot and have sex with a partner see the following FAQs:

Bottom line:

  1. Eliminate all artificial sexual stimuli: porn, chat rooms, erotic stories, surfing for pictures, etc.
  2. Contact with a partner may be essential. It doesn't have to be sexual intercourse, but there is nothing wrong with that
  3. Orgasms can slow the process.
  4. There comes a point in the process where you need to rewire to real partners or consider masturbation.

 

The process

The return to full erectile health can take 2 - 6 months or longer, so be patient. For more, see How long will it take to recover from Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction? Be aware that men report continued improvement long after their initial reboot. Since 2010 a disturbing pattern has emerged: Young men who have been using Internet porn since they began masturbating are requiring a longer recovery period. See the following links:

In other words, older men who spent years climaxing before delving into highspeed Internet porn recover faster. The older men used their imaginations to wire to real girls, whereas, younger guys have spent years wiring to computer screens and whatever. When it comes to porn-induced ED, waiting and waiting may not be sufficient. As mentioned above, young guys may need to rewire their sexual circuits to flesh and blood humans. This FAQ has many suggestions for those who reboots are taking a long time - Started on Internet porn and my reboot (Erectile Dysfunction) is taking too long.

Some men who have experienced a decline in their sexual responsiveness (without realizing its true cause) are afraid that avoiding masturbation and porn will make their libido disappear completely. It may disappear at first. The process of returning to full erectile strength often involves a decline before it gets better. See HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and/or libido are decreasing (Flat-Line)

However, as their brains come back into balance, people tend to become more sensitive and sexually responsive, not less. People also notice that little things turn them on, such as a mere smile from a real woman.


 

What's normal?

Porn-related erectile dysfunction, copulatory impotence (can get erect with today's porn, but not with partner) and delayed ejaculation are becoming more and more common, probably due to the extreme stimulation of the brain inherent in Internet porn. (See: He’s Just Not That Into Anyone.) Yet these conditions are certainly not "normal" in young men.

Here are signs that you are coming back to normal. Said one guy,

I think a sign that your equipment will start to work right, is when you see sexual images or semi-sexual images of folks on TV, and you feel tinglings in your brain, that's a sign you are starting to re-sensitize yourself to normal.

Please note: People here often recover their erectile health and can have healthy sex with a partner. However, recovery does not mean you will be able to go back to using porn without desensitizing your brain anew. As one forum member said:

My story began with porn-related ED: going soft inside a woman or after changing positions. Once I hit 3-4 weeks, my morning and random erections became very hard and frequent. I thought I must "test" myself to make sure everything is working. Trust me when I say, "There is no need to test; it is indeed working." I tested myself and ended up relapsing. First it was MO, then PMO... then the vicious cycle began all over again.


 

My response to those who doubt the existence of PIED

In 2011, the head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAMS) stated that porn-induced ED exists. SIAMS is the largest urology organization in Italy. More important, their president reports that the clinic he's part of cures the disorder by having guys stop porn use for 2-3 months. For the record, we were writing articles about porn-induced ED years before SIAMS statements appeared. Since 2011 many articles quoting experts have been published since SIAMS statement. See Porn-Induced ED in the Media

Second, recent studies show a dramatic increase in ED rates among young men.

Third, naysayers suggest that we need "peer-reviewed studies" to confirm the existence of porn-related ED before we can say it exists. However, it's painfully obvious that no researcher can conduct a study where one group of young healthy men use Internet porn for 10 years, and a comparable control group does not, with erectile function assessed through masturbation to sensation only (no porn). In other words, it may be that the only experiment possible is well under way - with thousands of results now reported.

Update: First peer-reviewed study to ask the question finds porn-induced ED. About 60% of compulsive porn users reported erectile dysfunction in this brain scan study - Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014). From the study (CSB are compulsive porn users):

CSB subjects reported that as a result of excessive use of sexually explicit materials..... experienced diminished libido or erectile function specifically in physical relationships with women (although not in relationship to the sexually explicit material) (N = 11)...

The subjects stated that porn use caused their ED. The average age was 25, yet 11 out of the 19 subjects experienced erectile dysfunction/diminished libido with partners, but not with porn.

THE EXPERIMENT - "UNEXPLAINED CHRONIC ED IN YOUNG MEN AND ALTERATION OF A SINGLE COMMON VARIABLE"

This ongoing experiment examining porn-induced ED is valid, reproducible, and empirical.

The Subjects:

  1. Thousands of otherwise healthy young men (early 20s at the moment...) with only one variable in common: years of masturbation to Internet porn.
  2. The subjects differ in backgrounds, ethnicity, diets, exercise regimens, religious beliefs, moral beliefs, country of origin, education, economic status, on and on.
  3. These young men cannot achieve an erection without porn use, and gradually, some can no longer achieve an erection with porn use.
  4. Many have seen multiple health-care practitioners and most have tried a number of approaches to cure their copulatory ED with no results.
  5. Most state that they cannot believe that porn use could have caused ED. Some are very skeptical prior to starting their experiment of giving up masturbation to porn.
  6. The cause of their ED was not performance anxiety as they failed to achieve full erections while attempting to masturbate without porn (How do I know if my ED is porn-related? (TEST)

The regimen:

  1. All eliminate porn use.
  2. Most (but not all) temporarily eliminate, or drastically reduce, the frequency of orgasms.

The results:

Nearly every subject reports a similar constellation of physical and psychological symptoms when they stop porn use/masturbation, a similar time-frame for the appearance of symptoms such as agitation, cravings, complete loss of libido, gradual recovery, and need 2-6 months (or longer) to regain erectile function. This suggests a very specific set of physical brain changes, and not a psychological "issue." The usual pattern of recovery is as follows:

  1. Subjects experience varying withdrawal symptoms that parallel drug/alcohol withdrawal, such as cravings, anxiety, lethargy, depression, brain fog, sleeping abnormalities, restlessness, agitation, aches, pains, etc.
  2. Within 1-2 weeks, most subjects experience what is called "the flatline": low libido, perceived changes in genital sensation or size.
  3. The flatline slowly abates and libido gradually increases, morning erections and spontaneous erections often show up, attraction to real partners increases, etc.
  4. Lengths of full recovery generally vary from a few weeks to 12 months. Most are in the 2-6 months range for chronic, longstanding ED.

Summary:

Young healthy men, with unexplained ED and only one variable in common (Internet porn use), attempt multiple regimens and treatments with no success. The subjects remove the one variable they have in common and almost all experience the same results: remission of their medical condition.

That's an experiment with unequivocal results. This is empirical evidence.

Bottom line:

I have yet to see one naysayer address the ACTUAL FACTS as described. In debating the existence of porn-induced ED, doubters go no further than this point:

  • Some guys who watch Internet porn develop ED - so - "correlation does not equal causation."

They refuse to venture into the rest of the facts, such as:

  1. All subjects had been using porn for years with no problems getting erections early on.
  2. Few report any moral or religious misgivings, or guilt, surrounding their porn use.
  3. Subjects experienced a gradual decline is sexual function, often over the course of years.
  4. Many subjects had seen medical professionals, and had tried various therapies or regimens, with no success.
  5. When they abstained, most subjects experienced similar psychological and physical symptoms, which mimic withdrawal from a substance addiction.
  6. The clincher: All had only one variable in common. When that single variable was removed (masturbation to porn) - nearly all regained erectile health.  (If they did not regain erectile health and libido, the cause of their ED was likely not porn use.)
  7. Men who regain erectile health and then return to regular porn use, experience a return of ED, once again settling the issue of causation.

Started on Internet porn and my reboot (Erectile Dysfunction) is taking too long

"Why haven't I healed yet from porn-induced ED?" is the hardest question we attempt to answer. That's why this FAQ is so damn long - we packed it with as many suggestions as guys say worked for them, and as much info as possible.

If you are under 30 and started early on Internet porn, I strongly suggest you educate your self on the differences between an adolescent brain and an adult brain. It is not simply experience. The following resources will help:


We hear this story far too often:

I'm in my mid twenties and a sufferer of this apparent new-fangled 21st Century broadband driven ED disorder. I've had three chances to lose my virginity with real flesh and blood women and I've failed every time (as in, these women were in my bed and ready to go, clothes off, but I couldn't do it. I've had other chances, and even other girls sleeping in my bed, but I didn't make the move because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it... even between the ages of 18 to 22). I won't go into the details but each time felt incredibly embarrassing, depressing and emasculating. I'm not gay in the slightest (I am in fact a raging heterosexual) but I simply could not have sex with these women.

If I could choose one word to describe what it felt like when I tried to have sex with them, I'd use the word 'alien.' It felt artificial and foreign to me. It's like I've gotten so conditioned to sitting in front of a screen and jerking it with the death-grip all these years that my mind considers that to be normal sex instead of real actual sex. I can get hard for porn, no problem, but not for the life of me can I get hard for a real woman.

Some brains just need a long time to re-train:

First guy: Age 27 - Severe ED cured after 2-year flatline

Second guy: While I've had a few relapses (although no binges) my reboot has taken an entire year. It is only recently that I can say that I am seeing real progress with ED, and have a desire for real women as opposed to porn. I started the reboot only when I realized that porn was an addiction. I realized "Man, PMO is the reason I get out of bed every morning". Giving up something like that is not one bit easy. Its almost comical, but you have to re-learn how to interact with people. I felt like I wasn't human when I was learning this because interaction is human 101. Little kids even know how to do it. I felt like a robot with artificial intelligence.

Third guy: Honestly, I think more and more 2, 3 and 4 year recovery stories will start cropping up as the committed young rebooters start writing success stories. I know it's hard for some people to believe and accept, but reboots are becoming longer and longer now days. It doesn't necessarily mean everyone is going to take 2 years to recover...but if you are a guy in your 20s who started very young in life on high speed porn, there's a good bet that you are looking at 1+ years. So many people (including myself) have been on the forums for 1+ year now and are still in the process of recovering - and it's nothing to get discouraged from! Even though my ED isn't fully healed yet, I have grown as a man and I have a much more fulfilling life than I did two years ago. Seriously, I could not get it up for sex or porn at anytime no matter what a few years ago...and now I'm capable of having sex weekly. There's more work to be done, but the point is I'm recovering and growing and living a better life....and a reboot (no matter how long) is worth every ounce of commitment.

Another guy:

I almost wanted to give up hope. Thought I was incurable. Thought a lot of people like me were, those started at age 11 and didn't even have a first kiss till 18, and with no responses whatsoever down there with about 15 different girls when my times finally came....  It took me over a year of the worst ED you can imagine, until I finally found out: I was wrong. It took:

  • 9.5 months absolutely no Porn
  • the last 5.5 months were no Masturbation or Orgasm
  • these last 4 weeks having sex again (low quality at first) to rewire

It got better and better each day of rewring, and then today: I had the most amazing sex of my life. Just thinking about the feeling turns me on now. Don't give up hope. It takes time, even up to a year, but if you give up porn and even M for awhile and then rewire: YOU. WILL. HEAL. And it will be more worth it then you know... Good luck out there :)

Another guy

I agree with "internal_idiot". You need much more time. You have to be patient and take this brain damage of yours very seriously. Gary Wilson has warned us about this. He said that some of the youngest guys need up to 9 months to recover. I myselv have done 7 months now, and think that the "rebooting" takes a lot of time. But now I am sometimes able to have sex. 207 days ago I had completely ED just like you describe. I could use 3 hours every day to seek for the best bootys on the net.

The changes started after day 180. The difference in my life is like this:

Now I am able to focus on my work. Now I don't stop working every hour to look for porn. I can go through the hole day without thinking about sex. But when I suddenly see a nice ass, then I immidiatly allmost go crazy about it. Then I find my self - opening my mouth and eyes wide up and stare like mad at her. As you see - I think much less about sex, but when I suddenly do, then it's because I see a real woman and then the feelings are suddenly intense. I like this new life much better.

When guys first showed up with porn-related sexual performance problems, they generally recovered in about two months of no porn, masturbation, porn fantasy, and a minimum of orgasm (See: How long will it take to recover from Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction? ). Most were computer wizards who had started using highspeed Internet ahead of the curve, and arrived when they noticed that they were having uncharacteristic performance problems.

When they started masturbating at puberty, most weren't using the Internet at all. Depending upon their ages and circumstances, they started masturbation with a catalog, a magazine, a video, a grainy TV porn channel, or amazingly (to today's young guys), their imagination. Most had some sex with a real partner before they were able to access highspeed Internet porn. (See this 25-year old's account. He had more real sex early on, and didn't develop ED until he started using porn heavily.)

Their history is important, because they were training their brains differently from today's young guys who masturbate to highspeed Internet porn from puberty onward (or, in some cases, from before puberty). The latecomers-to-highspeed, who are usually older:

  1. on average, didn't start masturbating to porn as young because extreme stimulation wasn't as easy to access,
  2. typically focused on the sensations of masturbation a bit more, because visual stimulation wasn't always accessible,
  3. used their imaginations much of the time, often fantasizing about realistic encounters, instead of being force-fed extreme visual stimulation, where the only role they had was "voyeur,"
  4. didn't masturbate as often, because without constant novelty, it often takes a lot of work to climax if one tries to do it too frequently,
  5. couldn't overstimulate their brains to the extent one can with today's constant, ever-novel Internet porn, and
  6. didn't need to masturbate with a death-grip, because they weren't desensitizing their brains to the same extent. This also meant that normal sex wasn't so far removed from their masturbation experience.

All this has changed. Said a woman under a reply to one of our Psychology Today posts:

I have a limited sample (N=2), but I can tell you that I have seen first-hand the effects of overuse of porn. My ex-boyfriend was a habitual porn user. He had erectile dysfunction and started using Viagra at the age of 28. (However,  his erectile dysfunction was limited to live partners, as he was able to attain and maintain an erection while watching porn.) He had delayed ejaculation and often could not ejaculate during intercourse, and instead had to pull out and self-stimulate. Contrast that with my current boyfriend. In his mid-40s, he has no problems with the quality of his erections and easily ejaculates during intercourse. He specifically does not watch porn as he is concerned about its effect on his performance. The difference is VERY noticeable. And appreciated.

Young guys who, from puberty, masturbate to Internet porn can easily overstimulate their brains, which, in turn, dampens their sexual responsiveness. They need a tighter and tighter grip, and increasing novelty to climax. This sexual experience bears little relationship to actual intercourse or oral sex with a real partner.

Given that pubescent/adolescent brains evolved to wire up sexual cues into strong brain pathways, today's guys are unwittingly forcing their sexuality into a fairly narrow groove, which is difficult to break out of. One reason is that, as they reach adulthood, their brains prune back unused circuitry. So brain circuits for courting and mating, that is, the circuits for the skills adolescents once typically strengthened via socialization and tamer masturbation habits, are weak, or perhaps gone.

Worse yet, these guys never suspect that they are developing sexual performance problems. Why?

  1. They don't know what normal male sexual responsiveness looks like, because they've been locked into the porn spiral for years, as have all their friends.
  2. The deterioration in erection strength is gradual.
  3. They often use Internet porn for many years before trying to have sex with a partner. And they never think to try masturbating without porn, which would show them the desensitization.
  4. Porn's constant novelty is a powerful, but unnatural, aphrodisiac, so they can always get off to porn if they watch enough, or more extreme material. Some unwittingly also undergo addiction-related changes that render Internet porn uniquely capable of stimulating the reward center of their brains, even though their brains are, over all, less responsive to normal stimuli, such as real sex.
  5. When they can't perform during real sex, they can always blame it on something else: alcohol, weed, the wrong hair or skin color of their partner, the absence of anal sex, whatever.

So what to do?

If you're one of these young guys and you want to experience normal sex, you need to get a fresh start.  Your recovery is likely to take longer and be more gradual. Here's a rebooting account that should give you a good idea of what to expect: Age 18 - No sensation during intercourse. (More sample rebooting accounts here, here and here.) Even after you are recovered enough to have normal sex, you are likely to see continued improvements for months.

Your recovery will likely have two distinct steps:

  1. Restoring the brain's sensitivity so you can respond to normal pleasure (rather than only to the extreme stimulation of constant novelty and a death-grip). Most guys report positive changes in mood, concentration, confidence, attraction to real potential mates and magnetism, and so forth within a couple of months.
  2. If your erections remain sluggish or extreme undependable, your brain has probably not yet wired to normal sexual touch and real potential partners in the way that your ancestors' brains would have (in the absence of Internet porn). Once you have already rebooted, it's time to rediscover sensual touch. It's also time to start flirting with real potential partners and to consider using traditional energy circulation exercises. Additional tips about the importance of relaxation and Internet time are below as well

Wiring to normal touch:

Tip: There's no point in attempting to wire to normal sexual touch until your reward circuitry is capable of responding to normal stimuli. Wait until your reboot has been underway for a couple of months. Premature action is discouraging. You won't be able to feel subtle sensations yet, so you will be tempted to overstimulate yourself, edge...and perhaps relapse.

This guy (26) began the rewiring process at around four months (but two months is probably fine, too):

I've been doing this reboot for more than 4 months without porn and masturbation. Finally, I can confirm that my erection is fully recovered. I have had morning wood almost every morning this week, some lasted for 10-15 min, but some even for an hour. I am just so happy and proud of myself now.

Here are the details. Like some other guys in this forum, I used to worry a lot about why it was taking so long for a complete recovery, even though I still believed that it would happen someday. During this period, I tried to test myself several times with no success. I watched videos on youtube that had a little bit of sexual imagery, and masturbated without ejaculating. However, eventually I stopped testing myself and tried to think positive.

When I reached 4 months recently, I decided to do something different. Almost every time I take a shower, I give my penis a light massage. I massage my testicles and then do some light and slow strokes. I don't try to force an erection. After about 1 week of doing this, I feel like my boy is responding better and better to my massage and strokes. Finally I get hard-rock morning wood. This is just my experience, but I am not sure it will work for everyone.

I think the best time to use this experiment would be probably 4 months and up. It depends on each person's history. I had masturbated since I was 10, so for me to get the results,I needed longer than a person who just started masturbating 2, or 3 years earlier, I guess. I just stimulate myself about 50, 60% and stop. I never go all the way and ejaculate. I also think that one of the most important key here is we should never ejaculate during the reboot period. The reason is this is the time for your body and your lil boy to rejuvenate itself, so it needs a lot of nutrition and energy in order to do that. And we also should not test ourselves in the early stage. It would be very dangerous because our mind isnt stable yet. It's still in the borderline.

This is not an exercise in trying to produce an erection! This is an exercise in wiring your brain to sensual touch, with no performance pressure whatsoever. Do not use fantasy. Do not "test" your erection strength. Just focus on the physical feelings of sensual touch. If you do become erect, stay well back from The Edge of orgasm.

Keep the session to a minute (unless you start to overheat), but repeat it daily. Really give your body gentle, nurturing attention during the session.

I can attest that a little stimulation helps reawaken your libido. But at the same time, reawakening it has the high possibility of resulting in a binge relapse if you're not careful. In terms of when to initiate the reawakening process, prove to yourself you're able to handle the rebooting process by going at least 2 months without any PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm). A real indicator that your tastes have shifted to normal is when you spontaneously begin thinking about real 3-D women in your everyday life, as opposed to the 2D counterparts from your porn memories. Let me say it again: You have to walk before you learn to run. A person struggling with PMO has got to do a successful reboot, and then progress to a little reawakening stimulation.

Another man described his massage practice with his partner:

Allow her to offer you a genital/penis massage at least 3 or 4 times a week during the next two weeks. Doing it every day is okay too, but you really should willingly do something non-sexual for her in exchange. It should be something of her choice that would please her.

A genital massage session should last at least 20 minutes but not more than 45 minutes. The point of this is to help acclimate you toward receiving direct genital touching without getting “heated up” or aroused or to the point that you want to encourage the urge to ejaculate. Permit the woman to keep her clothes on. Lie on your back, open your legs and relax. Have her apply some almond oil to her hand and let her gently and very, very slowly massage your scrotum, testicles, penis and perineum. Breathe slowly and deeply while she softly and tenderly pulls the skin of the scrotum and pubic hair. These light touches require that you remain still. Have her push slightly (with short fingernails if possible) into your groin at different places around your penis to release built up tension. Don’t encourage her to stroke the penis! She can do gentle, light squeezing and releasing along the shaft and head.

Due to the fact that the male genitals have experienced a constant build-up of tension through orgasm and ejaculation, this type of gentle massage from a female greatly relieves soreness and pain in that area. It is very soothing and relaxing.

If you are prone to getting heated up easily, then have a bowl of ice and a cold damp wash cloth next to the bed. As soon as you feel that familiar horny, full feeling, which means the semen is beginning to load in your prostate, have her stop the massage and place the cold rag on your testicles and the sensation will eventually subside. Then your partner can go back to the massage.

Remember, if abstaining from masturbating is causing you to get “blue balls,” apply the cold compress for a few minutes whenever the pain arises. It took only about a week for me to overcome the soreness when I finally quit masturbating. After that, my body adjusted and all the symptoms of “blue balls” went away once and for all.

Another guy:

After the reboot I truly believe that resensitization is a must Taking a few min every day to literally focus on nothing but the feeling on light and non goal oriented self touch is critical to the last leg of recovery. For a while there I was going nowhere, and I was one of those people who was past the 150 day mark. I felt like absolute hell because I thought i was doing everything right. Rebuilding those connections is important. Stay away from porn and focus on the sensation of it all.

Also, I did MO a handful of times in this  time period. It is not the end of the world. How could it possibly undo everything? It slows you down, sure, but not much.  just stay away from P and you'll get closer every day. If you have a lady friend I encourage you to ask them to "taunt" you  for a while. Have them slowly massage you in the below the belt area and just absorb everything in. Feel as much as you can. I promise this is the last leg of the recovery that so many are missing. Just ignoring your junk is not way to take care of it.

Another guy:

I have found performing the genital massages (testicles only, no shaft) on myself to be very helpful in relieving sexual tension and avoiding the urge to masturbate.

Another guy:

Rewire to real sex after rebooting: I finished my reboot and binged, but after those 3 more months away from porn I noticed that my libido and attraction for girls was so weak, as my sexual anxiety was still there… again crappy feelings were hitting me. It was for me a real concern, and I decided that it was time to explain to my brain what is my sexual focus, and reinforce it. My problem is that there are no women around me now, so I decided to start masturbating, once or twice a week, fantasizing about kissing, touching and being completely aware of the physical sensation, doing it smoothly and slowly. I’m now seeing that my desire to intimate with a girl is coming back and replacing my old ED-related fear feeling. I’m also noticing that my erectile response is improving and I can keep it up harder and harder for longer and longer and the pleasure is insane. My idea is to grow sexual again with a low stimulation degree until I can have real sex.

Another guy:

Rewire to your sensual touch! Lay in bed, close your eyes, breath deeply (5 secs in, 5 secs out) and use two fingers to touch your body or massage yourself, your penis and testicles. For me, this was the break through, after a long reboot and only little progress!

Another guy:

I had urges for a couple days, but then I got a huge. Fucking. Flatline. I'm talking probably 6+ months of no drive. Age 17 - one year

Another guy:

Okay, so I took NoFap as a challenge and lasted 105 days, something I would never have imagined before. The first weeks were great, I felt more energetic and motivated, so there definitely are benefits to this. I experienced some minor flatlining in between, but overall it's been a positive experience and it helped me to improve my life.

Since around day 80 however, the benefits were gone and I was constantly tired and lost all my drive, not only sexually. Of course at first I thought I hit another flatline, but it didn't get better at all and I really felt like I had to release some pressure - I've had no sex within these days, so it was 105 days without any orgasm.

So today I finally decided to cave in and masturbate. It was planned, without porn and quick, no big business like it was before NoFap.

And hell, I'm feeling better! I'm not so tired anymore, the pressure, the urge is gone and I can finally concentrate on other things again.

So, to conclude this: I believe that masturbation is absolutely okay, as long as you're keeping away form porn (the real problem here is porn!), not making a big deal out of it and really just use it as a perfectly natural way to get rid of some things that accumulated in your body.

EDIT: Just to make this clear: This is not about NoFap not working or not being worth the effort. I set 90 days as my goal and kept up with it and you should do the same. It has improved my life and it will improve your life. However, I don't believe in banning masturbation forever. It is possible to find a healthy relationship to your body and to fapping. Just listen to yourself.

Another guy: Age 39 - (ED) married, Karezza

[At day 75] I masturbated with the light massage that is referred to here. I'd almost call it admirabation. More like a sensual celebration of having a good solid erection again with kegel squeezing, slow rubbing, with no orgasm or even an attempt to get close to orgasm.

Here's another technique for increasing sensitivity:

May I suggest a gentle exfoliate scrub on the outside of the penis? I tried that last week and it made everything much smoother, seemed to clear up a little skin damage, and immediately increased the sensitivity on the outside. Ultimately, the main problem is in your brain. But I think exfoliation is worth a go as well. Today is Day 160 of no PM for me. I have had sex a few times though I still need to work on reestablishing contact with my genitals and just generally being more present in the act.

I think that the exfoliation would be good for guys who've been rebooting a long time, maybe even more so than guys who are early on in their reboot and still have such a numbed-out brain. I tried it because my experimentation with genital awareness made me feel how disconnected I was down there. One night, I start doing light touches and felt like I couldn't feel that much on the surface of the skin. I have some skin damage that has probably desensitized the shaft a little bit so I was kind of testing that out as well. 

I read somewhere that excessive masturbation with no lubrication can cause the skin to thicken and lose sensation, so I thought exfoliating the area would potentially remove some of that buildup. And it worked! I immediately felt smoother and more sensation down there and it's really helped me separate the lack of sensitivity in my brain from the lack of skin sensitivity (which is not really that bad anymore). I think this could be a really good practice for guys who've been rebooting a long time and are looking to jump-start their libido and begin the rewiring process (which is where I am). It definitely made sex more pleasurable a few days later. I think it would also be really good in conjunction with the almond oil massages that you advocate. I was also going to test out light touches with a feather to start getting used to gentle sensations again.

Overall, I would suggest doing the exfoliation, then using coconut oil and/or vitamin-E to protect and lubricate afterwards. I suppose this could also work for guys who are earlier in their reboot, perhaps particularly during the flatline phase. I'm definitely going to continue the practice weekly at least.

Fleshlights?

Spent over $500 on fleshlights over the years and used them before I started having sex.  Using these with and without porn I still had erectile dysfunction issues.  Also instead of thinking of PMO I started thinking of the sex toy, but still didn't think about women.  Don't know if the fuck dolls would be any different.  IMO it would hinder the reboot.  Aren't those things expensive?


Still nothing after months of flatline?

Try a water fast (just water) for a couple of days...preferably in nature with a close friend. That worked for another long-rebooter. The science behind it can be found on www.gettingstronger.org. You want to kick-start your sluggish pleasure response by giving it almost no stimulation. For some it seems to reset the brain so food tastes better, colors are brighter, and sexual feelings awaken.


Energy Circulation exercises

Various traditions taught energy circulation exercises for regulating sexual energy. Some involve visualizing heat or energy circulating from the root of the penis. See the "Fire Breath" technique, for example. These exercises can help some guys rewire their sexual arousal to sensations in their penises (as opposed to wiring only to visual stimulation, as in the case of masturbating strictly to Internet porn). This guy said:

Try energy circulation. I swear it's been working for me. Try to make your genitals "heat up" with energy, or at least try to draw your attention into your penis. For me, there's still a feeling of strain, like I can't go into it the same way I can draw my attention into my hand. But if you can feel your penis from the inside along the entire length, I bet you'll start noticing activity. I did energy flow exercises this morning and everything felt much more awake the rest of the day (hard, spontaneous erections etc.). Give it a try- I bet energy- flow exercises would help a lot of people who don't see results despite holding off PMO for a lot of days.

Here's another suggestion:

For awakening sexual energy - Start doing two things: every morning, after your sleep, stand in the middle of the room and start shaking the whole body. Become a shaker — shake the whole body from the toe to the head and feel that it is almost orgasmic…as if it is giving you a sexual orgasm. Enjoy it, nourish it, and if you start feeling that you would like to make a few sounds, make them, and just enjoy it — for ten minutes. Then rub the whole body with a dry towel and take a shower. Do this every morning, and within two or three weeks the balance will come. Link

Kegel exercises

I seriously had a massive issue with not getting erections around women, or in general, for a long time. I couldn't even remember when it started it was so normal not to ever get hard.

After a 100+ day reboot, when I got into 4 months, I just knew I was mentally rebooted, and I was starting to feel mentally aroused by things. It was different from before when I saw an amazing bum in tight trousers and you tell yourself your hot for it, only because you think you should be, but not cause you actually are.

When I got to this rebooted, back-to-mentally-aroused stage my penis still had no life to it - ever, only a couple of moments where I thought I could see improvements, but it was the same as watching a man in a coma and seeing a finger twitch or an eyelid flicker and asking yourself 'Did he do that before or is that new??'

So I started Kegel Exercises. Physically speaking they help get better, harder erections, and have been heard to regain erections after ED. Well it worked a treat. Within two weeks I was waking up with full morning glory, very gd semi's throughout the day. For the first time in however long I could remember I test masturbated and was 100% - with so many other things regained.

It was the re-wiring aspect of the exercise that brought this back, closing your eyes and trying to contract the right muscles, but having to think and feel your penis again, not just having it there as a dead extremity.

Kegels - re-wiring brain to penis and physically improving your penis through muscular exercise. Now, I could hang a towel off it after not seeing it move in monthssssss!!

Here's another technique for increasing sensitivity:

A lot of guys here have said they don't feel their penis and I get that. I think we stuff our genitals in our underwear and kind of ignore them until we "need" them to urinate or for sex. I've heard women say they've done some "breast focus" and gotten some amazing results. So in the last few days I've started meditating around feeling my penis. Being aware of it. Feeling it, including the tip, shaft and what's underneath, the root, and the testicles. Spending time during the day just being aware of them. And some meditation where I direct focused love to that area and project a lot of consciousness there.

It is really a simple thing. Sit down, close your eyes, and project your attention to your penis and try to feel it inside rather than see it visually in your mind. That's all. Rinse and repeat.It is really a simple thing. Sit down, close your eyes, and project your attention to your penis and try to feel it inside rather than see it visually in your mind. That's all. Rinse and repeat.

Even in a few days of this practice I can say I have much more ability to feel my penis especially the root of the penis. Intercourse today was extremely pleasurable and I was able to sustain focus on my penis root and feel much more sensation and pleasure throughout my body. I also felt it contributed a lot to my beloved's pleasure. She reported feeling more sensation in her vagina and I could feel that as well, I could feel her feeling me in a great dance.

Another guy tried it:

Initially I didn't feel anything. So I started making small movements. I was doing kegels, but with the slightest movement. A gentle twitch. After a minute of doing that I started to feel it. At the base of the penis head, and then at the root. I didn't feel the shaft at all. I'm not sure how long I did this, but I drifted off to sleep because I felt so relaxed. It's like you're connecting with your body, not in a physical sense, but with energy and you can visualize it. It's a nice and weird feeling. I'll continue doing this until I have sex again. I'm curious about the results.


Wiring to normal partners:

Tip: Contact with potential mates is very beneficial at any point during rebooting or rewiring, as long as you do not push yourself to perform sexually before your body is ready. Dancing, kissing, fooling around, exchanging massage, and so forth, are all helpful in rewiring your brain to real partners. Cuddle buddies are excellent. Also keep in mind that research shows that oxytocin (which is released during affectionate touch and close, trusted companionship) is vital for erections. If casual hook-ups aren't working, try a relationship.

Rewiring has sped up my reboot!

Hi everyone! So I'm at 100+ days no PMO and I've been spending some time with a great girl.

The almost all of this reboot I've been in a flatline - while my morning woods have slowly been getting harder and increasing in frequency, I've still had very little libido and zero spontaneous erections.

About 7 days ago I spent a comfortable, relaxed night with a girl that seemed to have reawakened something in! We kissed, cuddled and did some touching all with clothes on. It was an amazing feeling - I've been feeling an increase in libido and healthy sexual perspective on women since!

I'm definitely still not recovered - my erections aren't hard enough yet, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't have successful sex, but I just wanted to write because I really, really, really think that kissing, cuddling and being intimate without orgasming can accelerate your reboot by leagues.

My advice: Find a girl and rewire, even if you're ashamed of ED

Over and over, I see posts from guys who've been rebooting for a long, long time, and they haven't been with a girl during that time. A common sentiment is that they're not ready for sex, and they don't feel comfortable being with a girl until they are. This betrays a misunderstanding of what sex is. It's so much more than penis in vagina. You can please a woman with kisses, cuddles, fingers, tongue, hands, words and noises.I believe rewiring is essential to a reboot. I've been trying for a year, and never made so much progress as during my current streak, when I've been with three girls. They've all been super supportive. I've told them about PIED. They didn't care. They liked sleeping with me regardless. With the final two, I was eventually able to have sex without orgasm. And last week, I orgasmed with the girl I'm seeing at the moment.   And I feel great. Have the hardest morning wood of my reboot, and my libido is strong. Assuming this holds up, I credit it to the weeks of rewiring I did prior to orgasming. It is never too soon to start going on dates and talking to women. Especially for those of you who are virgins. Having a girl won't magically make your PMO addiction go away, but it does make things easier.    Getting a girl is something you'll want to do eventually. And guess what? You'll probably suck at this, at first. Then you'll get better, and you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard. But start now, so you can go through the 1-3 months of learning it will take to get decent at this. Then by the time you're ready, you'll be able to get women.  I was a virgin until 22, and had PIED. Didn't really have much luck with women until a few months ago. I'm age 27 now. And then, simply by trying, I went from being "bad with women" to doing pretty well and being able to attract women I liked and who are beautiful. You can do it too.  If you're totally new at this, I recommend reading a few seduction materials. Just remember, you only have to take the parts you like. So if you're not interested in dating multiple women, then ignore the advice that deals with that. Pay attention to the grooming advice instead, or self-confidence, or style. I've found Mark Manson (his book models) and Nick Notas to have good advice that's devoid of the creepier side of the seduction community.   

Don't orgasm with a girl until you're ready. I got to the point where it felt like I was blocking myself by avoiding orgasm. But sleeping with women for a couple months beforehand helped get my body to that point where I was ready.

Start now.

Long rebooters who haven't rewired need to-you're more recovered than you think

Find a partner. You may be more ready than you think. As a rebooter since [7 months ago] whose had successful sex at least 10 times since then, I say this because despite these successful attempts I still:
-Barely ever get morning wood
-Barely ever get spontaneous erections
-Find it difficult to self-stimulate and maintain an erection on my own

If I never tried rewiring with an actual girl I'd almost certainly be feeling pretty hopeless with all these symptoms still present, but they were all present (and still are) while I was rewiring and while I was sexually active.

Unless I'm talking to a girl, or drunk (or both), I find I really don't have much of a libido during the day. Can't say whether that's "normal" or not, but all I have to compare it to is a libido shaped by 15 year long habitual porn use. At the least it makes it easy to avoid PMO. I will say that the times of being so horny to the point of not being able to concentrate unless I masturbated certainly aren't missed, and I certainly don't believe that that was a sign of a healthy sex drive. A lot of PIED sufferers seem to worry about their sex drive too much, and ironically enough seem to set a standard of a "normal" libido by how their sex drive felt during their years of excessive porn use. Which to me doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is ultimately self-defeating. I truly believe that if you just stop worrying so much and stay away from PMO the body will take care of itself. This is coming from a guy with YEARS of chronic ED and libido issues. I've experienced a truly dead libido for extended periods of time, it's a scary thing and I sympathize with anyone who has to go through that, but I have a feeling a lot of the guys here are going through something much less dire and just need to open up to girls more.

Another guy: Age 28 - increased sexual sensitvity, more confidence, I feel my feelings (Note how opening up and relaxing with girlfriend triggered erections.)

Being around potential partners really helps - comments from successful rebooters:

  • I don't think I ever had an erection without porn or heavy making out until I met my girlfriend. Just standing behind her while whispering things into each other's ears made me spring, without any heavy stimulation. A feeling I truly treasure.;
  • I noticed that my mood completely shifted as soon as I started talking to this girl I know from university. It's like talking to her just stomped on my depression, filled me with confidence and reminded me of the importance of this reboot. I noticed that I smile unintentionally much much more when talking to girls. And like I mentioned before, it's really fun :D
  • I think if you are single, you simply must figure out a way to get a cuddle buddy. It's a weird concept in our world, but really what's weird is living by yourself without regular skin to skin contact with others. You are missing a lot of nourishment that humans need, and if you have that, you are very likely to escape your addiction much more easily.
  • Find someone you can cuddle with non-sexually. That is the key to success with this. Without that it is really tough. With a platonic girlfriend who lets you cuddle, you have a great chance of success and won't be frustrated. Weirdly it seems not to be frustrating although you would think it would be -- to cuddle with a girl and not have sex with her. But actually it is very satisfying.
  • I have been perhaps one of the longest cases on this site which was troubling for me as I recovered, and hopefully can serve as some inspiration for those frustrated with lack of results. First off: getting a consistent partner was what did it for me. Before that frustration was all I saw. Starting at month 7 after reboot I had someone to flirt with, sleep with, cuddle with, and kiss gently before moving to sex. This slowly got me going again. At first I could only get hard for short periods of a time and had to "rush" for penetration, but after each time my erections got stronger. Also high levels of PE have subsided as time has worn on--practice makes perfect. I now get hard just by gently kissing my lover and have zero issues with erection quality. I have zero desire to masturbate and am sure libido will continue to improve, as well as my orgasms which were nothing of note at at start (but have slowly gotten better). I had sex three times in one night with zero difficulty so I cannot believe how far I have come since embarking on this journey. Get a real partner, take the time to get to connect with someone (not just sexually), and it is an experience too powerful to describe. With everything taking so long for me, I can only imagine the changes a year from now. 9 months later and I am a changed man. I certainly felt obliged to share this final update for all those struggling out there and hope no one ever has to go through what I did. Full rebooting account

"Should I test with porn-free masturbation?"

Eventually (3-5 months), many guys will have to test with porn-free masturbation to get their brain's attention. Sometimes there aren't any overt symptoms that let you know you're "getting there" otherwise. The trouble is...if you test too soon, you may throw yourself into a porn binge - or have a mighty struggle with The 'Evil' Chaser. Whatever you do, don't use porn!

On the other hand, a test when you're well and truly ready seems to be beneficial. Read this guy's story, and this one. It's likely there's not one right answer. Alas, very little is known about the effects of sex on the brain or their reversal.


Relaxation brings out the animal in YOU!

When your brain has healed, it's time to turn things over to your body. One guy explained:

Today I was finally able to experience sex again with a strong, healthy erection which lasted over 30 mins AND stayed rock solid for 15 minutes afterwards! After 122 days of uncertainty and frustration I'm finally seeing solid evidence that the reboot has worked, and that my awful struggles with ED over the past few years are coming to a close.

In addition to abstaining from PMO and fantasizing, there was one last thing that was holding me back. Turns out that relaxation is SO important! Once the body heals, sometimes you're still not able to use your unit because the stress gives anxiety-related ED. I was unconsciously holding onto a lot of tension in my chest and stomach. By relaxing I started to feel more from my belly, and it seemed to just power everything.

When I'm relaxed I feel a tingling in my genitals, I naturally have fuller more fulfilling breaths, and when I see a woman that turns me on I feel overcome with that melty emotion radiating out from my belly which almost rolls my eyes. Now, when I want to be turned on, I just trance into relaxation and my whole body just gets charged, feels animalistic, and then wants to just aggressively ravage the woman I'm with. I feel this may be holding others back as well, especially the really young guys. They maybe never knew this relaxed/charged feeling. Without it I believe they may stay stuck in 'thinking/tense' mode, as I was.

Within a day or two of committing to relaxation I immediately started seeing very strong improvement! Also the kegel exercises and abstaining from orgasm definitely helped me last an insanely long time!

Another guy tried it:

This relaxation thing you describe works amazingly! Yesterday I had a completely random erection that just would not go away for like an hour. That hasn't happened to me in years. I already feel so much better. Really excited to keep this up.


Wiring to normal fantasy:

[This guy had cuddle buddies throughout his reboot. After 3 months of no fantasizing...] 

I started fantasizing again. Not about porn, but real girls, sex and the scenarios I'd like to have with them. It slowly awakened my penis after three months. It helped getting my sex drive back, together with real intimacy with real girls. And especially dirty talk and texting with them. Humans fantasize, it's normal. Porn is not normal.

Of course, it's possible he was just basically rebooted at three months.

Do you need to cut back your time on the Internet?

Many studies are coming out on how Internet addiction changes the brain in ways similar to how drug addiction changes the brain. Those studies include porn use, but they don't isolate porn use. So no one knows which guys suffering are mostly affected by porn, and which, if any, are mostly affected by Internet use of other kinds.

Many guys do much better when they give up Internet porn...only. That is, they're hooked on porn, not on Internet. But obviously, if it's your Internet use overall that has become compulsive, then some of your symptoms could be related to that too. If your symptoms don't improve, try cutting out a lot of Internet time, too, and substituting exercise, socializing, time in nature, meditation, etc. Eventually, you'll figure out what speeds your recovery.

We're guessing that ED points to porn being a big part of the problem. But we know of no studies that have compared the effects of porn to the effects of other Internet use...except this Dutch study, which was only looking at potential for compulsivity (and found erotica to be the most addictive online activity). Since then, however, video games have become even more compelling.


This guy jumpstarted recovery with herbs (as well as quitting Internet porn)

Age 23 - ED: TCM & Ayurveda may have helped

Another guy: (Check with healthcare provider before trying this one!)

I'm currently on day 81 and I had my flatline way earlier, probably in the late 20's early 30's or so. I did a lot of research and decided to try out horny goat weed as a libido booster. I used prolabs horny goat weed off bodybuilding.com which has horny goat weed (icariin) and other aphrodisiacs such as yohimbe, maca, and tribulus. I was out of flatline in a week... and you could also use it like 30 mins before sexual activity. Didn't build a depency on it either.


Some rebooting accounts of "long rebooters":


Here are guys' experiences with recovering during long reboots:

Guy 1: 

I didn't really start feeling like my reboot was over until after Day 120 (I'm on Day 160 no PM today) and I still think I need to rewire some. I think it might take some time and intentional effort  to restore sensitivity down there [using the exercises above on this page].

I had sex around Day 130 and it was super fast as might be expected. However, I had sex again multiple times 3-4 days ago and, to my surprise, I didn't have to fight that hard to keep from ejaculating too fast. It was almost like I could go as long as I would have pre-reboot (where I suffered from delayed ejaculation) - just with the added ability to ejaculate with less effort (i.e.- intense focusing on porn or some other situation), and much improved erection strength and recovery time.

It wasn't until the third session that I even really felt super sexual and engaged on a more emotional level. I really think the basic reboot just brings the brain back to neutral, and then you have to do some things to get yourself to where you want to be.

Since the sex, I've had more spontaneous erections, had morning wood (which I still hadn't been getting before), and have noticed that my penis seems bigger flaccid, like it's waking up or something.

[Advice to another guy] If I were you, I would hold off on ejaculating until about Day 150 (unless you feel better sooner), do some of the energy flow/genital awareness exercises, then start trying to actively rewire the brain through sex.

I really felt my brain engaging once I actually started doing the act. For instance, the first time I entered the girl I was probably about 80% erect and doubt I could have gotten it harder. But by the third session, I was rock hard before entry. I kind of think that the 90-day talk is a bit optimistic in general, and I think the mindset of "just leave it alone and you'll be back to normal" is the wrong mentality. I think you might have reset the brain to neutral in 90 days (longer for me), and then have to take an active role in healing yourself.

Guy 2:

I'm 22 and have been a lurker here for some time now discovered your brain on porn (YBOP) late December and from then on have been rebooting since the 1st of January. Had tried in the past to give up fapping and porn but failed. I realized I was addicted to both and they were having a negative effect on my life. I told myself I was destroying my youth and with a strange inner resolve gave up completely and without much struggle. Porn had also effected my relationships with women and I have experienced ED a couple of time in the past because of it. I'm a good looking guy and never had trouble with getting girls but as soon as things got hot and heavy I would lose my erection. This destroyed me emotionally. I felt I'd lost my manhood and my life.

10- 15 days into no fap I had a huge surge of energy and zeal for life. I couldn't believe how beneficial no fap was, but then after about 3 weeks in came the flatline. My libido went to zero and to make things worse women were all over me. I had so many opportunities, but was afraid to act upon them, and even turned them away because I was afraid I wasn't fully recovered. Low libido is really a horrible thing. It was terrifying. I felt asexual for a long time.

I experienced wet dreams nearly ever week during the reboot. First they were about porn but then they changed to girls I knew, which was a good indicator of recovery. Between day 60-70 I decided to give it a shot with this girl, but my sex drive was still very low ended up only getting head in the end because she was on her period. The flatline continued I was quite depressed because of it, but I kept going I knew I had to fight on.

Around day 97 I fapped. No porn involved, no chaser effect etc. Decided to fap once a week after that, and let me tell you guys my libido returned like a fuckin rocket! Couldn't believe it. And it wasn't for porn; it was for the girls that had been around me all the time.

I feel like a animal now - ha! I lost my fire in life because of porn but now it's back and it's INCREDIBLE! I ended up with with another girl on day 104 and ED wasn't an issue at all. I just did my job like all the men on the earth who have lived before me!

Listen guys it's a tough struggle, but keep going. It's worth it in the end. You guys will find that out for yourselves soon enough. 

Guy 3: Age 28, l-o-n-g reboot

What you're likely wondering is, "for the love of god does the ED get better or am I torturing myself for no reason?!", I wondered that too. The answer is 'kind of' then 'Yes!' What you're going to experience likely is once you do engage in sex your brain is like "What the hell?" and is not used to actual sex as its primary way of being sexual. That's the "rewiring" process. You also will be re-sensitizing yourself to actual sex. Death-grip masturbating sound familiar? I did it too. Sex is nowhere close to that and that's a good thing because sex after reboot and rewire feels WAY BETTER. Can't even describe it in words.

So there will be a rewiring process where you may sputter and have a few backfires but eventually you fire on all cylinders. Now? Zero ED, I don't even have to think about. In fact I can think to myself "man I hope my erection doesn't go down, wow, it's still not going down and I'm not even focused on sex, wow, yep...still there..........yep".

Guy 4 [230 days]:

I'd been watching porn for so long that it had completely taken over my sexuality. Without it I was essentially asexual. I wanted to deprive myself of orgasm to allow for a "reboot"...I wanted to build up a new sense of sexuality, one centered around real women and completely detached from porn.

It worked! My attraction to real women has magnified to levels it never had reached before. I appreciate the beauty of, and am powerfully attracted to, a much wider range of women than before. What's more, when I think about or yearn for sexual release now, it's real women I'm thinking about, not sitting on a computer and staring at the screen.

Guy 5:

I'll speak from my experience and it might not exactly go in line with the spirit of this subreddit but porn is by far the main issue.

I relapsed to porn after 5 months of NoFap with no SO. First few months were pretty good, it's the time when you actually make a lot of progress compared to your past habits. Last 1-2 months weren't so good. Unfortunately I was a dumbass and instead of focusing on getting a girl I was focusing on staying away from PMO and telling myself that I might not be ready. There's no point in that. I started getting kind of depressed after 3-4 months in my challenge and I actually felt better after the relapse. Young and healthy people need some kind of sexual activity at this point.

What I can say with certainty is that I was mostly driven by porn, not the actual MO. The effect that porn had on me after 5 months was huge, much more than I expected. I don't want to go into details but it was probably comparable with what a drug addict can experience. It had nothing to do with the act of "normal" masturbation.

Anyway, I think for one that MO is ok in moderation. It actually made my libido going again and I didn't feel bad or anything.

Porn on the other hand is a completely different story. It has huge effects on brain and I sure don't want to go trough this again. It also gives you the chaser effect. Fapping doesn't. All I want to do right now is to open a NSFW sub even though masturbation is far from my mind.

The new plan is to go for a new full 90 days cycle again than find a girl asap. Fapping might be a backup option but porn must definitely go away forever. (LINK)

Guy 6 [age 50, so different history]:

I was flatlining at 80 days, and it lasted 3 weeks. I'm not recommending this; but I fapped 3 times to pull myself out of the flatline).

At about day 120 things started really getting better; but by then I'd learned that intercourse with my wife is a small dopamine rush (and doesn't mess up my system as much)... but fapping is a very large dopamine rush (and messes up my system). To the extent that I can not edge, fantasize, rub on things, wash too carefully, etc..... I do better. He was fully recovered at day 160. Here's advice he gave others at Day 146:

  • First you get ED.
  • Then you do No Fap.
  • Then you flat line.
  • Then you get impatient and fap to pull yourself out of flat line.
  • Then you have semi's, underwhelming sex, and abject failures.
  • Then you wander in the wilderness and wonder if you will ever be 'cured.'
  • Then you figure out that your reward system gets super-excited about fapping of any kind (even light touch without porn) and kills your chances of a rock-hard erection with a girl for quite a while.... but PIV only ever gets a chance for a rock-hard erection if you do NOTHING... no rubbing, playing, fluffing, fantasizing, testing, jelquing, shower massaging, NOTHING for a time (for me it is 3-5 days.)
  • Then you have repeatable success with PIV because you've finally figured it out....
  • At first you get off (literally) to a sluggish start because of performance anxiety (and you have not completely rewired to where PIV gets you super excited.)
  • Each time gets a little bit better, tho as you gain confidence.
  • If you're strong, you continue this way and it just gets better and better. If you have a weak moment and you fap, it sets you way back.
  • tl;dr: My advice? Stay the course. It works. Don't deviate. Because your circuits are wired to masturbation each fap sets you WAY back. There is a price to be paid to undo your wrongly-wired circuits. Be patient and stay the course, you'll be fucking like a champ at some point if you work hard to rewire correctly. How long? Nobody knows. How long for me at 50 years old, out of shape, and in a 25 year LTR? Except for a 3 week flatline...Check this out. I've been at it 146 days. From day 7, if I followed the NOTHING advice above I've been able to have sex after 3 years of not. Each time I fuck up it sets me way back. (BTW, my last fap (fuckup) was 17 days ago, but I waited about 10 days and had awesome sex. Waited 7 more days and had awesome sex last night!) YMMV

17 months - so far:

hey man,

I think i'm the longest reboot in history.  I started 17 months ago and did the first 5 months no PMO. At the time, I didn't see anyone else who had gone that long so I decided to start having sex and starting a masturbation schedule.  I wasn't able to have an erection good enough to penetrate until about 10 months in, and then I had premature ejaculation until now.  I'm still slowly recovering and have a long way to go.

I would say go to 9 months no PMO to see if things get better. Then try to have sex/rewire or start masturbating once a month or something.

btw, I still don't have high libido but I have had sex with the same girl 4 times and I'm able to get fully hard for her and maintain is decently.  I actually get horny just thinking about having sex with her.  The thing is, I am not even that into her since personalities are so different and she is definitely only average looking.  Point being, is that I think once your brain rewires to a girl, your libido will go up. 

I'm going to keep doing this reboot for another year at least.  If you do have a physical problem or can't get erections, there are always other solutions like injections and implants. 


Additional tips from forum members - which some may find helpful

Older "Long-rebooter"

1. For me, fantasy was one of the things i had to cut out because I felt like it was slowing me down. Once I eliminated fantasy I noticed my dick was responding to things a lot better. it will make masturbating/edging a lot less exciting too, this way it will be easier not to relapse.

2. Self-reflection leading to life changes is key for some guys. I recently discovered that I grew up in an abusive environment (yes, it is possible to grow up in one and not know it), and that this upbringing has had certain effects on me that need to be treated in a particular way. I talk about that in previous blog posts. Now that I know, I have begun applying the necessary recovery mechanisms. I don't know how or why, but the end result is that for the first time ever, I am beginning to really lose interest in porn.

The last couple of times I saw porn, I ended up thinking, "This is not what I want. What I want is to hold someone." That's right--the thought of porn meant absolutely nothing to me compared to the deep longing I now feel for a real woman to come into my life. I'll admit that I even searched for more shocking and exciting porn, trying to find something "good"--only to realize, for the first time ever, that NO kind of porn could ever be what I really want. So just like that, I quit searching and went about my day. No porn could ever be a real woman.

Nothing like this had ever occurred to me before I specifically took action to recover from the childhood abuse. Somehow, in working to learn and affirm my value and dignity as a human person--which was denied to me as a child--I have come to lose interest in porn while gaining interest in real women. I still have a long way to go, but I'll go out on a limb and say it--I think this is a sign of real actual PROGRESS for me.

Also worth mentioning, another effect of overcoming childhood abuse is that I am starting to acknowledge desires and opinions that I was previously conditioned to ignore. One such desire is to start a business and work from home. So, I am starting a business and working from home! I have tested my business idea with very encouraging results, and even if it doesn't take off, it should supply at least enough income to eat for a while. I never would have tried anything so daring just a few months ago. It's like I'm finally listening to my own heart.

If you are like me, and you've already tried everything--EVERYTHING--web filters, cold showers, long camping trips with no Internet, confiding in friends, red X, the rubber band snap on the wrist, etc.--and you've tried it for years and none of it has worked, then I encourage you to do some heavy-duty self-reflection. Ask yourself what is wrong with your life, what is making you unhappy or uneasy, what gives you anxiety or depression? Then, work your ass off until something improves, and re-evaluate your situation. Rinse, repeat.

3. In my desire to speed up the process of recovery I have done considerable study on and self experimentation with various supplements. My experience is that ALL of the "male enhancement" products such as horny goat weed, tribulus maca, yohimbe etc.are absolutely useless if your mind and body are over stimulated and exhausted. Whether or not they are of any benefit to a normal healthy individual looking for added performance I will leave to others to debate.

My experience with brain enhancers such as citicholine (purported to increase dopamine receptor density) and other such products was the same. Taking the amino precursors to various neurotransmitters such as l-tyrosine or l-phenylalanine to boost dopamine or 5-htp to boost serotonin etc. all netted variations of the same result which was to make me bitchy, agitated or depressed. They gave me 0 positive results.

I now believe that boosting transmitter levels in an already overstimulated and out of balance mind is like throwing more fuel on a fire. For me it often resulted in me self soothing with masturbation.

The one GLOWING exception to the supplements are worthless theme are GABA and Arginine. I started taking Arginine (which is the precursor to nitric oxide a vasodilator) 1000mg 3 times daily (morning, noon, and before bed on an empty stomach) and GABA 1000mg 3 times daily and noticed a wonderful difference within days. GABA acts as a inhibitor in the brain and for me at least seemed to bring about balance in my brain.

Many believe oral GABA cannot cross the blood brain barrier while others believe it can at dosages of 3000mg or more daily and still others believe it finds a back door to the brain through the pituitary gland. I don't pretend to know how it works but for me it made me calm and centered, I sleep better and I started having spontaneous semi erections during my day for the first time since I was a teen.

I have been trying various supplements for years and always take them with an open mind but without expectation. I consider myself as immune to placebo effect as any human can be. For me GABA and Arginine together is powerful medicine. That being said they are no substitute for a reboot! I do however think that for some of you LONG rebooters out there they are worth a shot, especially if like me you have struggled for years with multiple addictions or you are plagued by negative self talk.

Young "Long-rebooter"

Too sum up my previous entries - I have ED thanks to porn, although I am not addicted, but never lost my virginity and the steady state of porn use and masturbation through the years had finally caught up with me, and I only realised it when i found this amazing girl and tried to have sex with her and my penis has been stricken with quite severe ED!

My Goals - Complete use of my penis for sex, and ridding me of ed forever.

- Short term goals - Rewiring to normal touch and women. Regaining morning wood and spontaneous erections 100% firmness. (I believe once i get these back i am ready to have sex and succeed.)

So I abstained very well from porn no problem and had no urge to masturbate for ages, then on the 103 day mark/ 3m2w4days, I tested porn free masturbation, I felt great afterwards! No fantasizing either, just focused on touch. Took long to O, and was semi for quite a lot of it but when I was about to O a few times I got much bigger and firmer. - The reason for this test was, i was getting semi spontaneous erections throughout the previous week, and waking up with semi wood in the night and now and again in the morning, so i thought id give it a shot - plus i read an article i mention below. After the masturbation session, the following week, my lil fella was just as lively, no more, but no less!

Although a week later, I tried again, and was pretty much the same, although after this time, I didn't feel great at all really?! No lively activity throughout that week at all. Quite strange. So Ive left it for roughly two weeks to let it recover and get over the 'stalled' process that i created, and had two wet dreams on the trot a week later-ish, and had quite impressive erections when i woke up, the first night it lasted quite a while, the second died off pretty quick.

From there I went out with that girl a few times from before to help rewire. But i found something interesting out, while on a casual date with another girl, i wasn't interested in at all, when i kissed her at the end, my little boy came alive almost instantly!!! not a full 100% because i wasn't there that long kissing her, but possibly 60/ 70% I would say!

This morning i held it for a second with a couple of very light strokes and it raised up quickly again, but i let it go before it got passed a semi. All these things didn't happen before, the quickness of the rise or the actual occurrence of an erections from interactions or 10seconds of strokes??!!

FOR OTHERS READING THIS - LONG REBOOTERS -

What helped me after reading other entries on YBOP site (this FAQ): One case after having a long reboot (4months) and not seeing spent/morn erections started lightly stroking his penis for no more than a minute in the shower every day, not trying to get an erections but feeling the sensations to re-sensitise his penis/ rewire his brain to normal touch. THIS WORKED FOR ME. The week of lively action was due to a week or so of this before hand of this light re-sensitising technique.

THIS ARTICLE WAS VERY HELPFUL AND HAS HELPED ME MAKE GIANT LEAPS FORWARD, AND WILL SHOW YOU WHY I TRIED THE PORN FREE TEST SESSION, AND WHY IM LOOKING INTO REWIRING AT THIS STAGE MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. PLEASE READ IT.

KEGELS:

Lastly, im starting to do kegels and in the kegel section of that article, Gary points out that it has helped a lot of men regain normal erectile function alot quicker than those who don't. I really think, at this stage, this will help get the 100% standing to attention erections that I have been striving for. I'll let you know how it goes...

good luck to all, and anyone with bonafide working techniques to rewire and re-sensitize and what helped get morning/spont erections back please comment.

Age 27 - 115 days, jumpstart with Levitra

 I'm 27 years old and you should consider my fap story as a worst case. It has taken 115 days to get rid of my addiction. Here is a small story and some tips which helped me.

I started with nofap-september, found a GF at about 75 day. We jumped in bed on 2nd date and I found myself without actual sexual desire and with ED. I explained to her what was wrong with me, she understood and we started trying to fix me. The problem was that everybody was saying somthing like: "give it some time to rewire your brain, just cuddle, kiss, and things will change naturally; dont use drugs" (http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/will-sexual-enhancement-drugs-help-my-porn-related-ed). But in my case, it did not help. And it was the hardest time for me - waiting for the rewiring... So, I had 2 problems. To fix my sexual desire, I started to eat aphrodisiacs. ( I eat nuts,ginger and honey 2 times a day.) They helped, but I became more desperate - I wanted to fuck her, but was not able. And a week ago I said to myself - "fuck this shit" and bought a pill of levitra. Had a great sex with her that night and finally, yesterday, had sex without pills. My brain was able to connect dots and solved the equaction (sexual desire + horny naked girl beside -> erection).

My suggestion: Use sexual drugs if u have an ED in bed (after 90 nofap days). I'd recommend levitra - I had no side effects from it, just little higher blood pressure than normal.

Parting advice from a guy who coaches others for relationships and sex:

It's a really bad idea to put yourself into a "must perform" situation when you first try having intercourse again.

You have to take a long term view of this. And do things that will get you there in steps rather than just go for do or die situations, or just say "screw it" and give up altogether. You may have to find yourself a woman who is patient and willing to just cuddle for a bit. They are out there.

 See Guys: Where Do You Fall on the Monogamy Spectrum? for a better understanding of why your brain may be seeking more connection (than a typical hook up) when it comes to real partners.

 

Advice from a 50-year old

I fapped for 40 years...to....porn!! And I never had an ED problem until the last 3.5 years. Interestingly the non-Internet-tube-site porn was causing MAJOR problems (more on that below), but I just didn't know it.

I thought it was age, or the fact that I'm out of shape, or boredom or whatever... until I found YBOP and understood how INTERNET porn overloads our limbic systems and causes us to become unresponsive to real girls and sex with them.

Now, I'm under no illusions that just because I've gone six months without ANY porn that I am now able to go back to non-Internet porn. I believe I have permanently broken that system. So I would no more look at ANY porn than smoke a cigarette as both would land me right back in chain-smoking/fapping land.

Here's the kicker. For the ENTIRE 40 years I was broken in non-ED types of ways.

·         I expected all women to do everything and didn't care if they were not comfortable...for cryin' out loud, thousands of porn girls do it

·         I expected all sex to be like porn sex (which makes objects out of women and does extremely little to provide them with love, dignity, respect, kindness, etc.)

·         I was NEVER satisfied with sex with any woman... no matter what she did, how often she did it, etc. it was never enough

·         I destroyed many relationships over the above

·         I was never happy with my sex life

·         I was never happy in relationships because I didn't work on them...didn't need to... if she got pissed or whatever, I had my porn harem to satisfy my sexual needs

·         sex just didn't feel awesome like when I was a kid just after losing my virginity... I mean, it was very good, but not so incredibly awesome that I could actually feel every cell inside of her touching every cell on me and all of those cells firing electrical pleasure signals that explode all over me... now it does again...

·         all things pleasurable in life (colors, music, touch, conversation, comedy, helping others, being kind, experiencing kindness from others, etc.) are now extremely pleasurable where for many, many years those things had become dull...

It's amazing.

(More, when asked about changes in confidence levels)

I tend to gloss over those because of the nearly certain chants of 'placebo.' But since you asked:

  • major confidence
  • able to face confrontation where I have never been able to before
  • I now communicate my desires clearly, and without being emotionally hurtful. Because of this ALL my relationships have improved over 100%.
  • People now know what I expect, and I understand what people expect in all of my relationships. Nothing is hidden, everything is on the table. And everybody knows where everybody stands.
  • I no longer accept things I don't want in my life, including actions and words from people who are close to me. Yet, despite my confronting these issues, my relationships are closer than ever. Taking the time to communicate with dignity and respect validates everybody, and increases mutual respect.
  • my business life is better than ever. I'm focused, and responsible, and I'm solving problems every day.
  • I have more balance... I work at work times (off today) and play at play times (like now)

It seems that once you head gets clear, it becomes easier to make the right decisions... to do the right things... your entire life improves from making the right decisions and doing the right things...

Oh, and amazing, mind blowing sex, that makes me feel like a man and her feel like a woman doesn't hurt...

Progress reports during long reboots

More and more young guys, who started early on Internet porn, are needing much longer to regain normal sexual functioning and remission of symptoms.


126 days - Had sex last weekend. Felt pretty good, but got a major chaser over the next few days. Like crazy hard. Sex felt really nice. I felt pretty close with my girl. I still know that my libido isn't quite there yet. It's off and on, but sometimes, it's just blah. I'm thinking my process is just going to take longer than most. Moods are stabilizing, but not quite fully stabilized.


77 days - Alright, just about 3 days ago I posted my success story in this forum, after my sexual experience I didn't have any chaser effect and erections are still improving.

Certainly I need to be patient, but the problem is that my libido is still swinging (sometimes is high but sometimes is nearly unexistent), I have sometimes still anxiety (Homosexual fears) and depression.

I know that during my reboot I developed a HUGE amount of stress and I'm just realizing now that this nightmare is ending, but withdrawals are very strong and especially anxiety is so unmanageable, my therapist is sure that this isn't HOCD (just because it's not a constant thing), but everytime I feel tired or anxious this awful sensation goes up.


Unusual masturbation techniques causing problems?

Prone masturbation can cause problemsUnusual or vigorous masturbation techniques can contribute to copulatory erectile dysfunction. Normal intercourse cannot match the pressure (death grip) and speed (very fast movements) employed by many desensitized men. Masturbating on the stomach (prone) can be one of the most troublesome forms of masturbation in terms of reducing sensitivity to normal intercourse.

This website www.healthystrokes.com helps men recover from prone masturbation, which they call "traumatic masturbation syndrome." The following two FAQs are from healthystrokes.com.

  • What is Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome? Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit some males have of masturbating in a face-down (prone) position. Some TMS practitioners rub their penises against the mattress, pillow, or other bedding, or the floor. Some TMS practitioners lie on their stomachs and thrust into their hands.
  • What's wrong with masturbating in this fashion? Masturbating face down puts excessive pressure on the penis, and especially on the base of the penis. These sensations are not easily replicated in conventional masturbation or in sexual intercourse. This can make TMS practitioners unable to have normal sexual relations. A survey conducted for this web site revealed that males who masturbate conventionally have sex 6.6 times more often than TMS practitioners.

By the way, healthystrokes.com suggests that stopping prone masturbation for only one week will be long enough before you begin to retrain with new habits. Such advice may be fine for someone who hasn't used porn, but it is unlikely to work for heavy porn users. They need longer to "reboot" their brains. (Read warning about Healthy Strokes by forum member.)

It's important to understand that both porn and extreme masturbation techniques cause desensitization and rewiring of the brain. In other words, the brain needs time to heal and rewire to solve both problems. The following paragraphs are taken from this thread on prone masturbation, "Porn recovery and weird masturbation habits," from the reuniting.info forum:

I'm not sure what becomes desensitized with aggressive or vigorous masturbation methods. Is it the nerve endings in the penis, the connections in the spinal cord, or the brain itself...or all 3? Men who engage in prone masturbation have to change the way they masturbate. It's that simple.

No matter the form of masturbation, you may be overriding your brain's natural "stop doing this" mechanisms. If you need to fantasize to get an erection, your brain is saying "no." If you need a certain type of manual stimulation to masturbate, your brain is saying "no." If you need porn to masturbate, your brain is definitely saying "no." And if you have ED from excessive porn/masturbation, your brain is screaming at you "STOP!"

If you broke your leg, you brain would be screaming, in the form of pain, "Don't walk!" Only with super-human will could you overcome your body and brain's messages and put weight on your broken leg. This is what you are doing when you force masturbation. You are ignoring all the normal signals from your body and brain in order to force performance. That's a full-blown addiction, with all the associated brain changes.

The fact that you are experiencing zero libido, tells you exactly what you should be doing: nothing. No fantasy, no masturbation, no porn.

Recognize that an urge to masturbate arises from two different places:

  1. Your addiction pathways being triggered by a thought or a cue, or
  2. True libido - where you spontaneously get a full erection, and need no outside stimuli or unusual masturbation techniques to have an orgasm.

Everyone’s goal here is to move from number 1 to number 2.

The good news is that if you've been masturbating prone, you may have been watching less porn than the average guy because it's hard to watch and lie face down. You may recover more quickly (or not). Here's one guy's story:

[2 weeks] For 25 years, I was P&Ming a lot to porn - in prone position, mind you. I started this reboot because I couldn't get it up for sex - with three different women.

Maybe I'm some type of special case, but I really am not missing the P that much anymore. After only 3 days, I got "excited " when a female friend came over who I wasn't attracted to before. Now, I haven't tried sex yet but I'm getting it up a lot easier now than ever before. Women are looking more attractive to me every day. I don't know why. I'm feeling certain vibes go through my brain whenever I see a racy scene on TV.

P is great fantasy, and hey, it's nice to see things you could only imagine before. But we gotta resist it no matter what. The more we watch it, the more it really does make us push farther and farther to get an even better high - or sense of satisfaction. As crazy as this sounds, I think our bodies and mind are trying to save us by shutting down early and not preforming . What we have created with overstimulation to porn isn't natural.

I think a sign that your equipment will start to work right, is when you start to wake up with morning wood. If not full wood, at least half wood. I also believe that when you see sexual images or semi-sexual images of folks and you feel tinglings in your brain, that's a sign you must be starting too resensitize yourself to normal.

[3.5 weeks] I met a attractive woman, we clicked, got along and, well, we had intercourse. The moment was there and it happened. I had no problems whatsoever, and was surprised I was able to get to attention so fast and for so long. Didn't lose any erection or anything like that. The experience was very wonderful. I noticed without M and P I was able to preform and very well according to my female partner.

I know I'm not cured or anything and have to start over, but it's even easier starting over the second time around. This week has passed by very fast and, well, I'm enjoying life more.

I just followed the advice here, and damn it! Not only do I feel better, but I feel a lot more excited and horny. There's no way to describe how much more excited I am around women. I feel more sexual. I feel like I haven't felt since I was in high school. 2 hard weeks of no porn brought back feeling of desire for women. Not just the "She's pretty!" desire, but confidence and a little cockiness. It is worth the wait guys. It's worth the resistance and willpower to avoid P&M as much as you can.

Here's another forum member's experience (he also quotes from heathlystrokes.com):

"Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit some males have of masturbating in a face-down (prone) position. Some TMS practitioners rub their penises against the mattress, pillow, or other bedding, or the floor. Some TMS practitioners lie on their stomachs and thrust into their hands.

Masturbating face down puts excessive pressure on the penis, and especially on the base of the penis. These sensations are not easily replicated in conventional masturbation or in sexual intercourse. This can make TMS practitioners unable to have normal sexual relations. A survey conducted for this web site revealed that males who masturbate conventionally have sex 6.6 times more often than TMS practitioners."

Actually it's very dangerous and can have long lasting, chronic side effects. (ED, delayed orgasm, physical damage) I also used to masturbate prone, I discovered it when I began to masturbate and never used my hands until I stopped PMO.

People masturbate prone because it generates such a pressure on the penis that the stimulus is way higher, thus bigger dopamine high. It felt so good like nothing else in life I ever experienced, even drug-like.

After 5 years of doing so I could not masturbate with my hands. It simply wasn't possible. I stood in the shower and giving up after 10 minutes. I was depressed about it but never give it a second thought, had no clue was it was about.

"More than 90 percent of males learn to masturbate through self-discovery. Males who practice TMS unfortunately self-discovered an unconventional method. Males who learn to masturbate from other people invariably learn to do it the conventional way. (Most males who discover it for themselves also discover the conventional way.)"

Actually I think it's more complex. Masturbating prone is more rewarding, so depressed people with an already low-reward life can be tempted to try masturbating prone. But I don't know for sure...

However, I also self-discovered the wrong way, so I knew nothing else. But when I realized most people masturbate with their hands, I didn't like it because it wasn't rewarding, and I could only fantasize if I lay on my bed face down.

After 4-5 months without excessive masturbation I can proudly announce I regained my ability to masturbate with my hands, gently and even without fantasizing and have a good, intensive orgasm. :) Only a few weeks into it made a huge difference.

Another guy:

I haven't been on here for a while but I thought I'd let you know that I am cured and I too masturbated prone since I was young, 36 now. Read Doidge's book; it's a great primer for neuroplasticity. You may not like this but I have no idea how many days it took to get myself cured. I took some advice a while back and decided to not count the days. If you want to use "days" as a measuring stick, great. For me, just stopping all masturbation completely and looking at female images online did the trick, plus exercise and meditation. TMS is a bitch, I think it may make it more difficult to recover but it can be done. I haven't had any ED issues in long while now. Good luck guys.

Female perspective:

It works! 35-ish days of no porn and no fap, major results!

I've had a case of what I think is female death grip and porn conditioning, although not actual porn addiction. Basically, over the past few years, things have changed such that in order to get off, I needed to use my own particular masturbation technique and usually porn as well. I started dating a wonderful guy during this time, and found to my dismay that I couldn't have orgasms with him unless I did it myself, and even then, it was difficult.

A little over a month ago, I started a 30 day no fap, no porn challenge. I'm now back to having orgasms from my boyfriend, by hand. It's not completely consistent yet, but the improvement is huge. Thanks, no fap!

I found some advice from Your Brain On Porn especially helpful. l made a point of not thinking about porn while having sex with my boyfriend. I think it really helped break the conditioning around porn. In fact, I have been experimenting with masturbation again (without porn), and I find it easy to get off just from thinking about my boyfriend and the sex we have. It's been great!

Warning about Healthy Strokes from forum member:

Even if I think that the author of healthystrokes.com is an amazing person, who wants to help people get rid of that behaviour, he is also a damned stupid one. Why is that? Because he openly proclaims that 'visual aids' are not a problem at all. It is his opinion that porn is not harmful and that normal masturbation is the healthiest thing in the world. He simply doesn't seem to understand the brain changes that occur through an addiction.

I think this is most troublesome as it doesn't help to get rid of that goddamn addiction at all. It might, at best, change it in another direction. It is a good idea to tell people about healthystrokes.com. But you really should think about adding that the solution provided at that site might very well lead people into a troublesome trap. This is what happened to me:

Yourbrainonporn.com taught me that I'm an addict and that I have to stop this addiction to get a better life. The solution: Quit cold turkey from any kind of PMO. Healthystrokes.com teaches guys about the trouble of prone masturbation, but not at all about why they are having these troubles. Not a hint that they might be addicted at all.

The author's solution: Stop prone masturbation, start normal masturbation. If you can't do it, stop masturbating prone for a week or a little more, then try it the normal way. Fail? Start again. And so one goes through withdrawal again and again and again.

I was and still get stuck wondering if what is provided at yourbrainonporn is right. It makes so much sense; it simply has to work. Then again, maybe that dude from healthystrokes is totally right and I just have to relearn masturbation. Who cares if I have to jerk off while being only 50 percent erect? It will get better in time. WRONG. It doesn't. And it always ends in relapsing with prone masturbation and binging at that. Been there for myself too many times.

 That said, some guys have a lot of trouble recovering from TMS.

What about "Venous Leak"

From WebMD:

What Is a Venous Leak?

Your penis must store blood to keep an erection. If the veins in the penis cannot prevent blood from leaving the penis during an erection, you'll lose your erection. This is called venous leak. Venous leakage may occur with vascular disease. Venous leakage is also associated with diabetes, Peyronie's disease (buildup of scar tissue in the penis that leads to curved, painful erections), certain nerve conditions, and even severe anxiety.


A man in his 40's who is rebooting - Re: Is this PIED? Help with ED!

RE: venous leak, I discussed that with my urologist. He said he could test for it but -

  1. The test is uncomfortable and expensive;
  2. If I do have a venous leak, he would be very slow to recommend surgery because of the difficulty and limited number of excellent outcomes--so you're testing for something and usually can't use the data for anything useful; and
  3. It is uncommon especially in younger guys (...in this case I'm considered younger even though I'm late forties). In addition, if you are getting morning wood and/or nocturnal erections, then the chance of leakage being the cause of ED is slim.

At the time, I would very infrequently get morning wood, so for a while I thought leakage might be my problem. But after hitting no PMO hard and perfectly for just a few weeks, my morning wood starting coming back.  After a couple of no-relapse months last year, I had wood the vast majority of mornings.

I also thought I might have damage due to physical trauma. Because of some sports activities I've been involved in, I've taken numerous hard and painful hits to the groin. He dismissed that as a possibility saying the type of trauma I would have had to incur would be the type that would send me to the ER with an extended stay in the hospital....not just the occasional hit to the family jewels even if it's hard enough to take me out of the game.

Obviously, all of this is anecdotal and based on my specific issues. My main point: the chance of porn and your fapping habits being the problem seems infinitely greater than some of these other things.


 

The false diagnosis of venous leak: prevalence and predictors.

J Sex Med. 2011 Aug;8(8):2344-9. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02298.x. Epub 2011 May 13.

Teloken PE, Park K, Parker M, Guhring P, Narus J, Mulhall JP.

Source

Department of Surgery, St John of God Hospital, Perth, Australia. patrickteloken@gmail.com

Abstract

INTRODUCTION:

As a vascular test, dynamic infusion cavernosometry (DIC) has lost popularity, and in the urologic community, penile duplex Doppler ultrasound (DUS) has become the sole test to investigate a vascular etiology of erectile dysfunction. Vasoactive agent redosing has been shown to increase the accuracy of DUS.
AIM:

To define the erectile hemodynamics in men with previously diagnosed venous leak on DUS.

METHODS:

Prospective data were collected on patients who (i) had been given a diagnosis of venous leak based on an outside DUS; (ii) elected to undergo a repeat DUS; and (iii) when the repeat DUS suggested venous leak, underwent DIC.

MAIN OUTCOME MEASURES:

DUS: peak systolic velocity and end-diastolic velocity. DIC: flow to maintain.

RESULTS:

292 patients were included. Mean ± standard deviation age was 44 ± 26 years. On repeat DUS, 19% (56/292) had completely normal hemodynamics and 7% (20/292) had arterial insufficiency only without venous leak. DIC revealed normal hemodynamics in 13% (38/292), while in 58% (152/292) of patients, the venous leak diagnosis was confirmed. Overall, 47% (137/292) of patients who had been given a diagnosis of venous leak had completely normal hemodynamics, and in only 43% (126/292), the venous leak diagnosis was confirmed upon repeat vascular testing. On multivariable analysis, younger age (<45 years), failure to obtain an adequate erection during the original DUS, and having <2 vascular risk factors were predictive of a false diagnosis of venous leak.

CONCLUSIONS:

Penile DUS has a propensity to inaccurately assign a diagnosis of venous leak. Great care should be taken when performing DUS especially in younger men without a significant vascular risk factor history, and the failure to obtain a good erection should make the clinician cautious in assigning a diagnosis of venous leak. Furthermore, there still exists a role for cavernosometry, which appears to have a greater accuracy at diagnosing venous leak.

© 2011 International Society for Sexual Medicine.

What about ED drugs (Viagra, Cialis) and porn-induced ED?

Internet porn addiction is now causing ED in younger viewers


At best, drugs like Viagra and Cialis will mask your impotence problem temporarily (See study: Those who used the drugs recreationally were less confident about their abilities). They don't "cure" anything. They only address symptoms, and they only do so for a matter of hours.  Consider this man's story:

I've been looking at Internet pornography since I began college 13 years ago. Around age 24, I noticed difficulty getting aroused with real women. Generic Viagra off the Internet allowed me to have real relationships with few problems until the age of 29. Then, it became increasingly difficult to have real sex, even with the pills.

Realizing my problem, I tried several times to give up porn. The longest I lasted without it was 3 weeks. During this time, I could not get aroused thinking about normal sex, so the frustration built. My only escape was to fall back into the only thing that would arouse me: fantasizing about fetishes I developed when watching porn. Then it was back to porn. I need to be cured of this.

Cialis and Viagra (PDE5 inhibitors) work by temporarily altering your body's vascular response, and they have risky side effects. They do not work directly to heal the plastic changes in your brain that have numbed your pleasure response and wired your sexual respnse to porn. The problem doesn't lie in your genitals, as Norman Doidge, MD explains.

Your brain needs time and an absence of artificial sexual stimulation. That's what will enable your brain to return to normal sensitivity and sexual responsiveness as quickly as possible. You may also need to rewire your sexual reponse to a real partner.

What about using sexual enhancement drugs during a reboot? They can sometimes help guys transition into sex after a period of porn-induced ED:

No PMO for 2 months was the goal. During this process, I went to a doctor to check for ED. The doctor said everything physiologically was functional with me. This just continued to back up the notion that my issue was psychological. After 2 months of no PMO, I attempted to have sex with the GF.

I was not able to “get it up.” I was disappointed, but after reading about how long it takes for someone with no prior sexual experience to recover and reboot, I should have known. It was also during this time that I was still searching for something to salvage the relationship (I was worried that after this failure, surely the relationship would not last longer). I went to a doctor and explained my psychological issue. I begged for a drug like Viagra to fix this. I expected nothing since this a prior doctor had denied the prescription, but after explaining everything to him, the doctor agreed that Viagra could help me during the process. Two weeks later after going to a wedding with her, we were able to have sex, twice! That was my first “O” in over 10 weeks.

I think there were positives and negatives of using Viagra. It helped me psychologically, but it also caused dependency. When I took it, I could perform. When I didn’t, MOST of the time I couldn’t get it up. I began to wean myself down to half a pill, and then a fourth. Slowly, I was able to gain more confidence. This, coupled with the fact that I had not watched porn since that early July day, continued to help me, I believe (I did masturbate on occasion and still do). My last instance of “not getting it up” must have been February 2013. During that time, I would say almost all of the time I could get erect, and very sparingly did I ever go soft. Since that February, I have not had ONE occasion where I cannot get it up. Age 24 - ED cured, 5 Viagras helped with transition

Two full reboots where guys used cialis, thne tapered the dose:

Meanwhile, if Viagra and Cialis don't do much for you, don't worry. They aren't working on the part of your brain that governs sexual arousal...the part that needs time to heal. Here are comments from some guys with severe cases of porn-related erectile dysfunction who had this experience:

Here's an executive summary of how Cialis works, or at least, my understanding of it. When your penis gets aroused, it fills with blood. And then there is a chemical reaction that takes place which empties the blood out of the penis when you're no longer aroused. Cialis doesn't force the blood into the penis. What it does is prevent the blood from emptying once it gets there. The problem with this for us PMO addicts is that our neurochemical system, which sends the blood down there to begin with isn't functioning normally. In other words, Cialis does its job in preventing blood loss, but our brains still have to get the blood there to start. I've used Cialis in the past. And if you can get yourself aroused, it "works." But when my arousal cycle was totally desensitized, it didn't do much for me.


Right there with ya man..doctor prescribed cialis about 2 years ago to "get me back on the horse". Long story short, I became dependent on it and performance anxiety has overridden its efects...all the while, porn as the only thing that got it up. So I'm doing the same thing, as terrifying as it is...I believe it will be beneficial in the long run to swear off PMO to combat both ED and performance anx...but it will take time


I took Viagra and Cialis for years because of my porn induced ED. To say that after a while, they made things much worse is an understatement. Stay away from the pills if you want true healing.


So, last night I went out to the club and end up with a hot girl going to my place. I didn't want to take anyone home but I was drunk, so there was no thinking involved into this. Then, after all I had viagra with me, so what's the worst that could happen? So I thought. I end up in a bed with a really hot girl AND I had taken one pill of viagra, about one hour before (still in the club). It was tough to get it up but I got it semi-erect eventually. It went back to no-erection state immediately afterward. I was very upset so I took 2 more viagra pills. Within the next hour I could again get a semi-erection but again it went down to no-erection state very soon. OMG, it was embarrasing. I was drunk so it's hard to remember the details. But, for sure the pills didn't work.


I too found Viagra didn't really work. Though it helped a little, it is no use unless you can get the blood down there in the first place, which is impossible unless the mind is willing to talk correctly to the penis.


You really do feel like sh!t when even Viagra doesn't get you hard..tried Levitra, Cialis too... I know this rebooting is the answer.


 I am 26 years old and used to masturbate daily watching porn. 15 days back I was not ale to get an erection. I went to the doctor for help. He gave me a cialis 20 mg. With cialis I had a hard-on. Happy, I started watching porn again but didn't masturbate. Yesterday, the same thing happened (no erection) and I had no sensation in my penis.I took Cialis once again, but to my distress it didn't work at all: just a little bit of movement and I was limp. This time, I'm giving up porn and masturbation.


Forget the viagra...I tried that and cialis for months and it didn't help at all. I would notice a lot more blood flowing down there but it didn't help my mind whatsoever. In fact, I think it did more damage to me mentally because I would think, "fk if viagra won't even work then there really is no hope for me!" It just made me more depressed. We're not dealing with a physical problem here; it's your brain that needs repair from the all desensitizing the porn has caused over the years.


One of the biggest signs that my brain was screwed up was when the ED pills stopped working. I was in bed with a hot little 23-year old. It's bad enough I needed a pill to begin with but when it didnt work, I was like WTF is going on. For those that don't know, Cialis works only when you become aroused. So I asked myself, why in god's name is a 23 year old, 4ft 11, blonde haired, dance instructor not turning me on? So between that happening in January and the episode around Easter, I was done. Went had my testosterone checked and I was fine. So I googled my symptoms and BAM!!, here I am. I even recently made an appointment with my psychiatrist to tell her I figured it all out and that she was fired. Lol. The sad part is that she was not aware of this addiction and I actually taught her something.


In my experience, viagra and cialis never worked for me. Because of my porn addiction I wasn't turned on with a real woman.


Age 25 - cured of my ED and DE


I seem to have developed a tolerance for Levitra. Which is crazy because as I've read on the net most people get in this position after 2 or 3 years of using viagra-related drugs. After the relapse, I failed with my gf 3 times while using the standard prescription, 10 mg. The first 2 times I got an erection which lasted for just a minute, totally unheard of for me while using levitra, for once it gets up, it always lasts for 5-10 minutes the less. Third time, yesterday, I actually took like 14 mg (I cut 20 mg pills in a half-or-so) I became all dizzy and blushed (which are all side effects, meaning that the pill was supposed to have taken affect) and it even didn't move at all.. AT ALL. Of course, I was very anxious, but I believe I was so countless times in the past too when it worked.


Viagra makes you hard but, really, I don't enjoy it at all because it numbs everything and it's hard to cum. Besides if you can't do it naturally it's BS. As was written in the Great Gatsby, "I am five years too old to lie and call it honour."


My ED is definetly porn related b/c even the erection pills such as Cialis, and generic Cialis do little but sometimes help enough to penetrate or get an erection. But, NEVER is the feeling good.. b/c I still don't feel anything. I've lost most, if not all my sensitivity. I'm hoping this rebooting does not take more than a few months of no PMO, but I'll do whatever it takes!


When I first had sex in my early 20's it was not good at all - I had severe ED - and that stayed with me until I discovered Viagra, which allowed me to have successful sex until earlier this year. Then even that stopped working. I noticed that my porn use had escalated quite a bit. Never had morning wood or spontaneous erections but with porn and maunual stimulation I could still get rock hard.


Viagra worked for me until it didn't - I got probably 6 or 7 years of fully functional and stress free sex out of it. I had 100% copulatory ED without it, but never a problem with erections to porn (I couldn't get aroused without porn - so ED with just masturbation as well). Then a few months ago even it stopped working. I think this was just the natural progression of my porn induced ED, as my porn use had been escalating throughout that entire 6 or 7 year period.


(Age 19) So due to [a bad] experience, I started using viagra thinking that would help alleviate my impotence and it did. I was having strong erections and was having sex with one older lady for about 6 or 7 times, each session she orgasmed probably at least 4 times no lie!! I felt like I had redeemed myself and that I was the MAN although for whatever reason I would still lose my rock hard erections after I put the condom on and I know for a fact that this time I was not nervous so what gives? Anyhow after several months of being on top of the world that came crashing down when I went to __ and took the same viagra pills because I was supposed to have sex with a long time female friend in a hotel. But to my amazement, this time I couldn’t get it up even with the viagra ... like I literally felt comfortable lying on the bed with her and got a half erection but that's as far as it would go.


I watch so much porn, it's sickening and has taken over my life for a LONG time. I found out that I can't have sex easily, or if at all. I must use Cialis or a generic form of the drug, and even that isn't working that well, if at all. I eventually lost all sensitivity, and even when I was able to have intercourse, I felt nothing. So, I’m able to last a LONG time if I'm able to get it up, which is rare.


I thought I could fix my problem chemically. Caffeine and alcohol became sex tools for me, and when that didn't work, I moved onto erectile disfunction drugs. I did not inform my girlfriend about this. The erectile disfunction drugs had an awful effect on me, giving me headaches and lots of strange physical problems, but I was dedicated to making this work. The ED drugs did not work.


I never had a problem getting hard for PMO but when it came to the real thing, it was always good to get a bit of a boost. So I started taking Cialis. Over time, the dosage for C started to increase for the same effect, and even then there were times when it would only partly work. WTH? Towards the end, without C, the chance of success was near zero, yet I could still get hard to PMO.


 I didn't know I was an addict until I found this site. My thoughts were like any other guy's: Too much is never enough! But when I couldn't have sex three times in a row (after having the same problem with a previous partner), I went to the doctor and got prescibed viagra and some other pills. Finally, I thought, now I'm going to get it done! I took one pill, and started "going" for it. It worked, yes!! Finally!! ... but.. I didn`t "enjoy" it anddidn`t cum. I had to start thinking about porn to climax.


I am right there with you guys. I always thought to myself how unbelievable ridiculous it was for me to have to take these pills, yet alone ask my doctor for them at my age!

Yes, they are expensive, and yes they don't do much in terms of help with maintaining ROCK solid erections, or help me achieve orgasm any easier. Usually for me to orgasm I have to slam a girl so hard while thinking about depraved things.  The death grip from masturbation has REALLY burned me there.

I AM SO DONE WITH ALL OF THIS. I cannot wait to cleanse my mind and body of all of this toxicity. No more pills, no more porn, no more lies.


The ED has gotten worse. I can no longer perform without pills like Levitra, Viagra, or Cialis (not that I've ever been able to 'perform' before). During sex, I can only O with my eyes closed, fantasizing about P videos. My first thought upon insertion is, "I don't really feel anything." Then I lose my erection.


I spiraled into PMO multiple times a day. In the next few years, I had a few relationships, but I found myself avoiding girls I was attracted to because I knew I would have performance issues. I ended up dating girls I was not very attracted to, tended to avoid intimacy, and really did not treat these girls with the respect and care they deserved. At about 26, after a fairly significant health issue, I did an about face and decided to drop that weight, get into the gym, start running, eat better and be healthier. As a result my PMO dropped off slightly because I had less time on my hands, but I was still right there at the computer desk at least once every other day or few days. I even briefly saw some ED improvements, but even when I was getting back to where I wanted to be body-wise I was still having issues and I began to think I was having more of an organic issue with my equipment downstairs. I talked to my doctor after some serious talking myself up and swallowing my pride.

I tried Viagra and it only helped a little bit. But after I quit porn/masturbation, almost immediately I started feeling better. Call it placebo, call it what you will, but I almost immediately felt better. I went the week and something started happening, my old confidence came back, I started taking the bull by the horns at work, I was motivated, I started cleaning and organizing my house, exercising increased and my mood went up every day. I feel like I’m getting my mojo back.


I am tall, fairly good looking, athletic, and have a pretty hot girlfriend. However, my favorite passtime since I was 12 years old has been to fap. I have had ED issues for over the last 5 years and I have always thought it had to do with porn and masturbation. I have been taking viagra/cialis the last 4 years (at times that didn't even work) and I really thought it was strange that I was that young (age 32) taking ED pills.


I took zinc, ginkgo, and l-arginine in the past. I started as soon as I freaked out about this problem in early November last year. [It's now end of May.] I took them for a couple of months and discontinued them in February, about 3 months ago. I don't think those helped. I have read about people taking enormous doses of l-arginine right before sex, because the product is supposed to be harmless. I have never taken such doses. I just did whatever the recommendation written on the bottle said.I currently take fish oil, which I hear is healthy for the overall functioning of your body and for your wellbeing.I have never taken viagra or cialis and never want to take these. I wouldn't recommend these. They mask the problem temporarily and don't solve it. I think that many, and possibly all, of the supplements advertised as sex enhancers are BS, and I'm sure that they somehow actually have negative effects on the body.Eat healthy, maintain your body in good shape, and don't worry about supplements. The rest should follow naturally. Read his account of his full recovery


This 30-year old ex-military guy couldn't bear to wait, so he started sex with a partner during his reboot from porn. Here's his report:

1. Not Ping or Ming has caused me—and this is without a doubt—to not be as much as a recluse as Ive been. During my nightly routine of winding down and watching some TV, I actually yearn for other people to hang out with. This is a large divergence from my "normal" behavior, and quite frankly its a welcome one.

2. My recovery has been going slow because Ive met someone new and I'm trying to keep her happy. WITH the aid of levitra, our sex is fantastic. I understand this isn't ideal, but it's what I'm trying. I'm using 10mg levitra when I want to be superman, and 5mg when I'm willing to roll the dice. Taking an hour before on an empty stomach increases effectiveness drastically.

3. Recovery, is in fact, happening. Sex is already feeling twice as good as it has been as my body recovers. Its so funny how the decline is so gradual that you don't notice that sex has lost the whole WTF JUST HAPPENED? feeling anymore and you don't even realize it. It's back.

4. Again, Id like to express gratitude to the creators of this project, and all the other men seeking help. Keep on truckin guys.


At 26 I got into a new relationship (which didn't last very long). When it got to the point of actually having sex with the girl I could not make myself hard. I was excited and everything. And was actually hard when we touched but somehow got soft when it came to the penetration. Though the lady told me it was okay and I should not worry I was really depressed. I was embarrassed and depressed. I thought that because I hadn't had sex for 2 years I had developed some kind of ED.

This problem was really bugging me and I decided to make my goal of fixing it. I went to the doctor and all the analysis came out negative. My prostate gland was normal. My heart was all right. Well in short everything was all right physically. So finally figured that the problem was psychological. Now, I can clearly formulate the main points of my problem.

1) Watching porn shifts your expectations of a sexual intercourse. That is, if you watch porn too much you kind of train your brain to get excited from visual images of somebody else having sex. And when you have sex with a live person your body and brain are not used to this new kind of sexual act. There are very weak action patterns in your brain, which makes you focus and concentrate on what you are doing and lose the spontaneous impulse. Your brain made the connection between watching a porn movie and pleasure but the connection between sex with a live person and pleasure is weak.

2) While watching porn the viewer is usually passive. You usually watch porn while seated (sometimes lying or whatever). There is little body movement during the masturbation. Again, your body and brain record this behavior. So after some time your body learns that sexual act is associated with fairly low muscle stress. Little blood flow is needed. But sex often is quite a workout and requires a lot of movement and as a result higher blood pressure. You have to put on condom, which is a killer for many people. Again, this makes you concentrate too much and you can lose your wood.

3) Porn can add to the performance anxiety. You start being afraid that you may not reach the qualities of some other guys. Now, thinking back about this makes me smile. How to solve this problem? You need to break the neural connection between porn and pleasure and create a new one between sex with a live person and pleasure. The only way to do it is to stop watching porn and to have sex regularly.

Given that you are healthy in general, after some time your body will create a new neural network. In my case I went so far as dating new girls on a regular basis just to have sex with them (not calling on you to do the same, but there are many social networks online where you can meet interested parties. Tons of beautiful horny ladies there and very often it's no strings attached).

At first I was using kamagra gel (a generic of viagra which is much cheaper and easily available online). After several months I didn't need it. My body created new neural patterns. As soon as I saw the girl taking off any piece of her clothes I was getting excited immediately. Now, as soon as I am putting on a condom I am getting really hard because my brain associates penetration with pleasure.

I have lost any sense of anxiety what-so-ever. I see a girl I like naked and I want to screw her no matter what. Everything else can go to hell. And this is the way it should be.So to sum it up guys. There are absolutely no reasons to believe you have ED problems unless you have major health problems or you are over 50. It's all a matter of wiring.

And don't take any failures to heart. It's a road to self-destruction. Your body might just not be used to sex with a girl because over the years you trained it to watch porn and jerk off. The majority of the girls are understanding (if she is not there are more reasons to say goodbye to her). Just work on changing this pattern and it will all gradually come naturally.


    (Age 50) Suddenly around 7 years ago got ED big time. It was like an off switch. Wouldn't even work for my fav P! Went to the doc with the GF at that time in tow who knew nothing about the PMO and all tests were fine. Slightly low T but that wouldn't cause the complete lack of life down there. Got Cialis prescribed and I was back in business with the GFs and PMOing daily for another 7 years!

    A little over a month ago the Cialis would sometimes no longer work with the GF and that's when I did an internet search on "Porn ED". Holy crap was I surprised at what I was reading. I figured what can I lose and immediately stopped the PMO with only one M in the shower without an erection the first week and one the second week but still with no erection at all. After that it was dead down there for the rest of the 30 days. Flatline I guess. I just happen to be between GFs so it is perfect timing.

    I hung in there for the rest of the 30 or so days and then it happened I had my first wet dream ever! Morning wood only once or twice now. This freakin works! I can't wait until I get my next GF! So in a nutshell about a month with almost no PMO and I'm seeing major progress.

Viagra Could Make You Deaf, Doctors Say

Porn-related erectile dysfunction can lead to the use of risky sexual enhancement drugsThose little blue pills may have some unintended side-effects.

Namely the inability to hear after taking them.

It seems 47 suspected cases of rapid hearing loss have been linked to Viagra, as well as similar drugs like Cialis and Levitra, according to the Telegraph. However, 223 other reported cases in the U.S. were excluded fro mthe study because of a lack of detail.

According to the new study, published in the journal The Laryngoscope, experts feel the problem is serious enough to warrant further warnings by doctors.

The conclusion from The Laryngoscope:

There is increasing evidence that PDE-5 inhibitors may induce sensorineural hearing loss via plausible physiological mechanisms. There needs to be more awareness of this disabling side effect among healthcare professionals responsible for prescribing this drug.

The average age of those affected was 57.

Despite the warnings, the risk still seems relatively low. According to the Telegraph, spokespeople for the drug maintain that reports of a reaction to the drug don't prove that it actually is causing problems.

Original article

Why I am stopping Cialis

There's a link between porn addiction and sexual performanceI've decided to stop taking Cialis. I've only been using it for a few months but it's quickly become such a crutch that it's a little scary letting go of it. After paying more attention to my body I'm convinced my erections are perfectly normal for a 48-year-old, but with Cialis I am able to perform more like an on-demand sex-machine. That is *so* appealing to a lot of us middle-aged guys. We might have a paunch and be balding but who cares about that stuff when our penises can tell a completely different story. Plus, having an on-demand penis fits expectations if you think about sex as a mostly straight-line experience of foreplay leads to intercourse leads to orgasm.

When it comes to medicine I believe less is more given the potential for adverse interactions and side-effects. Plus, I think stopping Cialis might help my delayed ejaculation. In my case Cialis is not directly causing the dysfunction given I've struggled for 30 years with difficulty having an orgasm with a partner. However, just like with porn I think Cialis makes it hard for me to be in touch with just how horny I may or may not naturally be. I suspect that part of my problem is that I am engaging in orgasm-seeking sex when my body is not actually desiring that kind of sexual activity and release.

I've also realized I have subverted my ability to reach orgasm by sensual touch. When I first went through puberty I would experiment with seeing just how softly I could touch myself and reach orgasm. When I did this I wasn't looking at porn or fantasizing. It was all about purely experiencing the pleasurable sensations arising from my own body, and these would build in a type of feedback loop until I exploded in orgasm. I suspect this isn't uncommon given I had a friend mention he had done the same sort of thing. My home had a lot of porn available so I pretty quickly started relying on it to help me release. I think I then trained myself to only be able to cum through porn and fantasizing such that it now feels strange and scary to simply let go into intensely pleasurable sensations.

Now that I have stopped using porn my body is becoming a lot more sensitive. I intellectually know I shouldn't be embarrassed about the natural twitching and facial expressions and sounds I find myself making and yet I keep holding myself back. I love it when my partner lets go, and I can tell she loves it when she has the same effect on me so it's surprising that I would be bothered by this. I think getting past this is just a matter of not struggling as my brain retrains itself to this more natural way of experiencing sex.

If my guess is correct then my difficulties with ejaculation will be cured once I relearn to reach orgasm through simply experiencing the pleasure emanating from my own body. Fortunately this appears to be happening mostly spontaneously. Earlier this week I was very horny and felt drawn to masturbate. I'm not trying to abstain from orgasm so I gave into the desire but intentionally stayed away from deep fantasy. The experience ended up being more like my body was masturbating itself than me directly controlling the process.

My difficulties with ejaculation have gotten so bad in the last few years that even masturbation is often frustrating. In contrast this was an extremely pleasant experience and I was able to cum more easily than I have in years.

Young men who take erectile dysfunction drugs for fun may damage their sex lives, a new study suggests.

COMMENTS: The article is first, with the study below

Young men who take erection pills for fun often feel down

By Lauren Cox

updated 5/17/2012

Those who used the drugs recreationally were less confident about their abilities

Young men who take erectile dysfunction drugs for fun may damage their sex lives, a new study suggests.

Nearly 6 percent of the sexually active college men involved in the study reported taking drugs for erectile dysfunction (ED) without a prescription. Yet an analysis of these students' sex lives unveiled a paradox: The more ED drugs men took, the worse they felt.

"Using ED drugs recreationally has the potential to negatively influence one's confidence," said Christopher Harte, lead author of the study published this month in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Men who abused ED drugs reported the same level of physical sexual functioning as non-users did, but Harte found that they were less confident about their abilities to get and maintain an erection. The recreational users also were less satisfied with their sex lives overall, even if they were satisfied during intercourse.

"One needs to be careful when they are frequently using these medications. It can set you up to have unreasonable expectations" about your sex life, said Harte, a research fellow at VA Boston Healthcare System.

Because the survey captured students' feelings at one moment in time, Harte said it isn't clear how the link worked: It could be that experimentation with ED drugs led to anxiety, or that it was underlying anxiety that had led the men to try ED drugs.

The erection-mind connection

Harte's study involved 1,200 college-age men from across the U.S.

Cleveland Clinic urologist Dr. Drogo Montague said Harte's findings confirm what many sexual health experts suspect about misuse of ED drugs.

"We understand how they work, and I don't think there's any lasting physical harm for a young man who doesn't need them, or for an older man who does," Montague said. "But it does sometimes create these psychological problems – and they stick around."

Montague said it is common for a man to monitor his erection after taking an ED drug, and this "spectatoring" can detract from his pleasure. It also can turn up the activity of the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for people's flight-or-fight response. Normally the body turns down the activity of the sympathetic nervous system during sex.

Feeding a dependence

Urologists say there is no evidence the body develops a tolerance to ED medications. But recreational use of ED drugs may mask a natural decline in erectile function, leaving men surprised when they fail to achieve an erection, said Dr. Tobias Köhler, a spokesman for the American Urological Association.

"On average, the drugs only work for five years," Köhler said. Meanwhile, an underlying physical problem causing ED — high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes or another issue – can continue to go untreated.

And doctors say it can take just a few troubled nights to feed a reliance on ED drugs.

"Anytime a man has a problem with his erection, he's always worried: 'Am I going to have a problem with the next erection?'" said Dr. Jacob Rajfer, professor of urology at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. "Is that a physiological or a psychological dependence? Well, I don't know the answer to that."


Recreational Use of Erectile Dysfunction Medications and Its Adverse Effects on Erectile Function in Young Healthy Men The Mediating Role of Confidence in Erectile Ability.

J Sex Med. 2012 May 8. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02755.x. [Epub ahead of print]

Harte CB, Meston CM.

Source

VA Boston Healthcare System, Boston, MA, USA Department of Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, Austin, TX, USA.

Abstract

Introduction.  Oral erectile dysfunction medications (EDMs) have become an increasingly popular drug of abuse among young men without a medical indication. In addition to being associated with increased sexual risk behaviors, recreational EDM use may adversely impact psychological aspects of sexual function, primarily by affecting one's confidence in pharmacologically unaided erectile ability. To date, these associations have not been investigated empirically.

Aim.  This study examined the mediating role of confidence in erectile ability on the concurrent relationship between recreational EDM use and erectile function among young healthy men. A secondary aim was to examine erectile function characteristics among recreational users, prescribed users, and nonusers to control for the possibility that recreational users were using EDMs to treat ED.

Methods.  The sample comprised 1,207 sexually active men (mean age = 21.9 years; standard deviation = 4.48) who were recruited from undergraduate institutions within the United States.

Main Outcome Measures.  Participants completed an online survey assessing frequency of EDM use, as well as levels of sexual function (erectile function, orgasmic function, sexual desire, intercourse satisfaction, and overall sexual satisfaction) and levels of confidence in ability to gain and maintain erection, as per the International Index of Erectile Function.

Results.  Recreational users (N = 72) reported similar erectile function levels compared with nonusers (N = 1,111), and both groups differed from prescribed users (N = 24). Recreational users also reported lower erectile confidence and lower overall satisfaction compared with nonusers. Results were consistent with mediation, in that more frequent EDM use was inversely associated with erectile confidence, which in turn showed negative relations with erectile function.

Conclusions.  Confidence in erectile abilities mediates the inverse relationship between recreational EDM use and erectile function. Results underscore the possibility that recreational EDM use among healthy young men may lead to psychogenic ED. Additional longitudinal research is necessary to establish a causal link between these variables. Harte CB and Meston CM. Recreational use of erectile dysfunction medications and its adverse effects on erectile function in young healthy men: The mediating role of confidence in erectile ability. J Sex Med **;**:**-**.

© 2012 International Society for Sexual Medicine.

What part does anxiety play in ED?

performance anxietyAnxiety often plays a part in copulatory ED. How can one know how much is porn-related and how much is anxiety? If you have a strong erection when masturbating without porn or porn fantasy, and with normal speed and pressure, then anxiety is probably the cause. However, it's not uncommon for men to have ED caused by a combination of anxiety and porn-induced desensitization. Not surprisingly, mild cases of porn-induced desensitization can feed into performance anxiety issues.

Some awkwardness with sex is to be expected

For what it's worth, I had a similar teenage experience: early exposure to porn, but found my first real sexual experiences to be awkward and anticlimactic. I experienced "stage fright" and performance anxiety a few times, even when I was with someone I was very attracted to. I think that as a teenager I had enormous expectations for what my first encounters might be like, but did not anticipate that the reality of sex would often generate a great deal of nervousness, awkwardness and confusion, and that managing the mechanics of sex was a more complex task than I had imagined (i.e. I had difficulty staying erect when there were so many things to think about!). Watching choreographed porn or mainstream movie sex scenes had conditioned me to think that it always went perfectly. Perhaps some of it was related to early porn use, but I think many people experience this. The reality of first time sex can be very different to those early fantasies, or to staged movie scenes. I remember a friend telling me that he found his first time difficult because he had always imagined himself having perfect pornstar-style sex, but somehow observing this scene at a distance. He found it strange to experience sex with someone in the "first person", from his perspective. Despite that awkwardness, he got into the swing of things pretty quickly; that girl became his wife, and two decades later they are still together!

Will a relapse set me back?

Only if you let it.

YBOP doesn't believe in the word relapse, and relapse should never be used for masturbation. This is about your long term goals, not numbers on
a calendar.

Please read this post to understand - My Thoughts On Rebooting [EXTREMELY LONG POST]

 


 

“How I Recovered from Porn-related Erectile Dysfunction”

A 28-year old heals his chronic copulatory impotence.

Since this article was written, awareness of this issue has grown. Davy Rothbart, writing for New York magazine, confessed that he was having to fake orgasm—because of heavy porn use. Soon afterward, TV host Joy Behar put together a show discussing how Internet porn can dampen sexual responsiveness and chill couples’ sex lives. (Watch preview) More recently, Italian researchers (surveying 28,000 Italian men) announced that young men are having erection problems that prevent them from having sex due to long-term porn use.

Too much porn can cause erectile dysfunction"As Porn Goes Up, Performance Goes Down?" recounted that men were reporting erectile dysfunction in connection with Internet porn use—even in their twenties. The response was astonishing. The item has been read tens of thousands of times, and numerous heavy porn users have confirmed that they are indeed experiencing loss of erectile potency. It seems that masturbation "ain't what it used to be." Free, streaming, hyper-stimulating videos are a relatively recent, and surprisingly problematic, phenomenon.

The issue lies not in viewers' perfectly healthy penises, but in their brain's reward circuitry—and there is no quick fix. Normal dopamine sensitivity in the reward circuitry is critical to normal sexual responsiveness, and too much stimulation appears to weaken the dopamine response of many brains. To return to normal, the brain needs time to reboot without extreme stimulation.

Unfortunately, most porn users don't realize what's going on until the problem is quite severe, because they naturally tend to "solve" any erectile sluggishness with more extreme porn (thus forcing the release of the dopamine needed to achieve an erection, but also further dampening the brain's natural sensitivity and their sexual responsiveness). Some sufferers naturally resort to risky sexual enhancement drugs, not realizing that they are only masking a problem they can heal themselves. To illustrate, here are a man's comments about his journey back to erectile health:

[Week three of no porn, masturbation or orgasm] For years, I looked at porn and masturbated to multiple orgasms at least once a day, beginning during high school. At university, I was a computer nerd with glasses and no social life, though I played a lot of sport. I'd stay in my room and study, play guitar or masturbate. I got pretty good at all these things.

I got an IT job, and once I could afford my own cable Internet connection, the floodgates opened. With unlimited access to high quality porn 24/7, I'd stay up till 4 a.m. and get up at the crack of noon. Some months I binged so much that I exceeded my Internet quota and received bills of $1000. I used to have 5-10 windows of streaming video open at a time, and bounce between them, which really upped the levels of arousal. This pattern continued throughout my early twenties. I was not happy at all, and my doctor diagnosed me with depression.

Porn temporarily took my desire away, so I thought it was a good thing, keeping me "balanced." I was proud that I could look at a hot girl on the street and not feel the slightest hint of arousal because porn had desensitized me. It was a way of taking back the power that I believed women had over me. Only much later did I realize how destructive this was.

Most of what I'd learned at school, in the media and on the Internet said masturbation, and even porn, are healthy. All the guys I knew were into it, so I never so it occurred to me how abnormal it actually is in contrast with a natural sex life. As far as I knew, masturbation had no downside, and viewing porn was just something all guys do all the time. Many of my friends still have this view.

When I finally lost my virginity at 23, my first time was terrible. I was semi-hard, nervous and nothing was working. I did not enjoy it at all, and I'm sure my ex-girlfriend would say the same. I did love her, but I'd been training my nervous system to respond sexually another way for so long, it was like my body didn't know what to do. Our sex life was one of the main reasons we broke up after a couple of years. I was watching porn a lot the whole time. Now, I realize that I was sabotaging our relationship, but at the time I blamed her. She did have problems of her own, but didn't deserve all the blame. In my defense, I honestly didn't know any better.

Since then, I've had sex, but I've never really been able to relax and enjoy it. I'm always nervous, and frequently have problems getting an erection. My last orgasm was at the hands of a Chinese massage girl and even then, I had trouble orgasming. She was pretty and had an attractive body, but it took a long time for me to orgasm, and she almost gave up. This is just one example of how I've shorted-circuited my ability to become aroused through normal means.

A hot girl could be naked with legs spread on the bed in front of me, and I'd still need some sort of manual stimulation to get hard. This really scares me. I want my libido back. I want to feel normal again. I want to be connected with the rest of the world and enjoy my life. I've been using porn to escape, and I'm convinced it played a significant part in causing my past depression.

Last year, I had a decent attempt at quitting porn and noticed improvements. But I was still masturbating and reading erotica during that time. This current effort is the first time I've actually tried going without any orgasm or externally arousing stimuli, and I feel that this is the key. It seems like total abstinence would speed the recovery process. I would also point out that I'm 28 and pretty healthy physically and emotionally, and my diet is pretty clean. I'm working out regularly. I don't smoke. I do drink to excess on the weekends though.

Recovery from porn-related erectile dysfunction can lead to temporary loss of libidoThe strange thing is that it hasn't been hard to stop, once I made the decision. Apart from mild headaches and restless sleep, I haven't had the withdrawal symptoms many people mention. Instead, I feel nothing. It's like I just don't have a libido. No morning wood. No wet dreams. No spontaneous erections. No cravings. Haven't been horny. I've had opportunities to have sex but my body is not responding. I'm taking tango classes, so I'm reasonably social but still no sign of my libido. I can dance with a beautiful girl and have no physical reaction whatsoever. I'm aware cerebrally that a girl is attractive, but I don't feel it physically.

The thing that keeps me going with the abstinence is my faith that I'll be able to reboot my brain and get back to normal. But it's frustrating.

[Six weeks later] This week marks a turning point in my recovery process. Before I go on, I need to describe the girl from tango dancing. She's tall, green eyes (I love green eyes), great body, and cool as hell. She's really street smart and down to earth and can hold a conversation about heaps of things. She just wants to have fun, which is exactly what I need right now.

I think it's safe to say my libido is back, but it was eight weeks of no porn, masturbation or erotica, and minimal fantasy. My goal was to make it to a wet dream, as an indication that my body was beginning to respond normally. I never made it. Last week, I had an externally stimulated orgasm with a Thai massage girl. Part of me wishes I'd waited, just out of curiosity to see how long it would have taken. But then my goal is to have a healthy sex life again, not wet dreams.

Other than that incident, it was straight abstinence. [When I finally had sex with the girl I met at tango class], there was no erectile dysfunction (ED). I was hard without her touching me downstairs. We had sex multiple times, so on the second and third time I needed a little "help," but there was no ED as such. The fourth time we'd waited a few hours, and I got hard with no help, just by being turned on. So I think it's safe to say I'm getting legitimate, unassisted erections now.

I've also realized is that sex is not a performance...it's about two people connecting and having fun. I think it's going to take quite a while to unlearn all the crap that I absorbed from watching porn, which is not what sex is about at all. I know what to focus on now though; I really tried to make the session as slow and sensual as possible, with lots of caressing and touching. So, I think that it is just a matter of time and practicing real sex with real women.

partners dancingI think I understand things better now: When you haven't eaten in a while, your brain starts releasing dopamine, which makes you crave food. This is a survival response to encourage you to seek out food, so the body doesn't starve to death. When you're full, your brain shuts this off and you no longer crave food. If you're constantly abusing this mechanism by binging on food, your brain lowers its sensitivity to dopamine and the associated triggers. This actually encourages you to binge more to get the same feeling. Porn works in the same way. Food and sex aren't bad, but if you binge, you'll upset your brain's natural dopamine levels and receptor count, and that's what causes addiction. I now think of porn as "junk food for the brain". Porn and junk food seem to have very similar brain effects.

[These next remarks were written by this man in response to another man's request for advice.] I'm guessing that speed of recovery varies due to several factors:

  • how long you were watching porn/masturbating (both hours a day, and years).
  • how exclusive your porn/masturbating was compared to other activities (e.g. sex with real partners).
  • how much your porn viewing was escalating in terms of more hardcore and gonzo content.
  • use of other aids to enhance feeling of orgasm (e.g. toys, practices like auto-erotic asphyxiation, etc.).
  • other factors that affect dopamine levels (exercise, diet, supplements, depression, drugs etc.).
  • how "shameful" you perceive porn to be in your own mind (the more "shameful", the more dopamine is released, which compounds the problem).

Based on my experience, I'd guess that the following are the ways to recover listed in order of effectiveness:

  1. No porn, no masturbation, no orgasm.
  2. No porn, masturbation but no orgasm
  3. No porn, no masturbation, orgasm by other means (e.g. with a partner)
  4. No porn, masturbation to orgasm.
  5. Tapering off porn, no masturbation, no orgasm.
  6. Tapering off porn, masturbation but no orgasm
  7. Tapering off porn, no masturbation, orgasm by other means (e.g. with a partner)
  8. Tapering off porn, masturbation to orgasm.

I would imagine that the difference between the first and last methods in terms of average recovery time could be 2-3 months versus 2-3 years.

It's possible it takes only a few years of today's hyper-stimulating Internet porn to cause partner- or copulatory-impotence in some men. Strictly speaking the problem isn't porn; it's intense stimulation that causes dopamine dysregulation. Another ED sufferer wrote:

I find video chat the bigger problem. I think the dopamine "hit" is especially strong with an interactive prospective partner on the other end, since she seems even more like the real deal than a video. In the end, I developed the same problems performing on camera that I have with a real partner.

Many of the young men now reporting problems managed to get cable Internet ahead of the crowd, which could mean they are the vanguard of a much larger group. However, users of all ages are at risk. They report that they can always work up an erection if they "edge" to enough porn, but can no longer copulate with real partners. "Edging," like viewing eight to ten open windows of porn, constitutes intense stimulation, which far exceeds anything our ancestors ever continuously confronted—which probably explains why it causes the unwanted brain changes underlying their impotence.

In any case, the phenomenon is very real, if under-reported. One man pointed out:

The other night I was watching a program about prostitutes; I recognized some of the girls from porn movies. At one point they said they could tell who the chronic porn masturbators were because nothing they could do could "inspire" the man to get it up. Think about it, even girls professionally trained in fulfilling male sex fantasy are unable to match the stimulation of pornography, including some girls who are actually in pornography. "Normal" women who just want our affections don't stand a chance.

Also at work in this phenomenon is the myth that frequent masturbation is vital for reproductive health.  Men often realize their porn use is out of control and causing unwanted symptoms, but they've been misled that they must ejaculate very frequently. Their only choice seems to be to increase stimulation intensity.

In fact, a long, initially uncomfortable, time-out may be all they really need to restore normal brain sensitivity and thus normal function.

(See this guy's five-month update below.)

Also see this 2013 report of a guy, 23, which means he was about 8 years younger than the guy whose story is above. This means the 23-year old started on highspeed that much sooner: Age 24 - ED still lurking after a year. Reports like this latter one are unfortunately becoming more common.

For more on understanding erectile health, see Gary's Erectile Dysfunction and Porn slide show

Five-Month Update

So it's been 5 months (or roughly 20 weeks) since I've last looked at porn. Here's what's been happening:

Healing porn addiction can improve performanceIn the last two weeks I've had sex with 3 different girls and enjoyed every minute of it. No performance issues. I've been making an effort just to enjoy the experience and not place any expectations upon myself or the girl, with great results. I had a big chat with a friend recently, during which I opened up to him about a bunch of things and it kinda made me realise that a lot of my concerns about sex were just not even worth worrying about. I'm also totally unconcerned about presence/absence of morning wood now. I've realised that a lot of the time I just miss it cause I wake up to an alarm every morning. I have woken up at night with very hard erections though, so the wood is there, just not always in the morning when I wake.

One concept I've had to let go of is the whole "playa" thing. As a younger, more easily influenced, male who watched a lot of porn, I kind of fell into this trap of seeing women as objects or commodities in a way. The problem with this, beyond the obvious maltreatment of women, is that it makes men measure themselves using women as a way of keeping score. This is ultimately not fulfilling. I don't care about that crap anymore. I don't care about "getting laid." Been there, done that. Not all it's cracked up to be. What I'm looking for now is a good connection with a nice, cool girl and I'm prepared to wait for that. The other funny thing I've noticed is that, the less I care about chasing women, the more I attract women and the more they attract me.

I've really been getting into dancing lately with more classes, private lessons and social dancing. I've heard it said that dancers make better lovers. I used to scoff at the idea, but now I can see some logic to it (and no I'm not being paid to say that). Dancing, specifically partner dancing, creates a lead/follow dynamic between (usually) the man and the woman. As a man it makes you take control, not in a domineering way, but a more subtle, gentle way. You have to really focus on the connection with your partner and the signals that you're giving her and the signals that she's giving back. A lot of this can be applied to sex and this has been the missing part of sex for me until quite recently. Also, social dancing is all about experimenting and having fun and freestyling and not worrying too much about dancing perfectly. Sure you need a certain amount of technique, but the really important thing is connecting and having fun. That's where the magic is.

Another thing I've realised is the extent to which our body adapts to just about any stimulus we throw at it. We have to be careful though not to overdo overexposure or underexposure to various stimuli. Take exposure to sunlight for example. Too little and our bodies are starved of vitamin D, which we need. Too much and our skin burns, which can lead to skin cancer. The right amount leads to a healthy tan. Same goes for exercise. Too little exercise and our muscles turn to jelly. Too much and you can sprain/strain your muscles. The right amount should cause healthy muscle-tissue growth. The trick is to find the sweet spot.

I would say the same about orgasm. Too little and we get stressed and the "caged monkey" effect kicks in. Too much and we risk addiction and the associated health side effects we've all read about on this site. You need to find the sweet spot. And that's different for everybody. Something else I've realised with sex-drive/orgasm. The less you do it, the less you want it. The more you do it, the more you want it. I noticed that the more I abstained the less horny I was, but as soon as I had an orgasm, I was chasing another one.

Our body gathers momentum in either direction. Neither end of the scale is healthy. Everyone has to figure out how to stay in the sweet spot. That's where health and happiness is found. It's all about moderation and balance really.

Send a private message to the guy

As Porn Goes Up, Performance Goes Down?

Is there an unsuspected link between today's porn and potency?

Porn addiction can lead to erectile dysfunctionThrough a fluke of fate, my website has become a hangout for some amazing people, including men determined to wean themselves from porn. Their efforts have taught me more than I ever wanted to know about this subject. A few years ago one wrote,

I am sure that if a study were actually done with honest men, we would see correlation between porn viewing and erectile dysfunction. The porn industry takes advantage of the uninformed public and makes billions. Then the pharmaceutical companies sell us costly sexual enhancement drugs to treat the side effects—and make billions.

Turns out he wasn't an exception.

I've been looking at Internet pornography since I began college 13 years ago. Around age 24, I noticed difficulty getting aroused with real women. Generic Viagra off the Internet allowed me to have real relationships with few problems until the age of 29. Then, it became increasingly difficult to have real sex, even with the pills.

Realizing my problem, I tried several times to give up porn. The longest I lasted without it was 3 weeks. During this time, I could not get aroused thinking about normal sex, so the frustration built. My only escape was to fall back into the only thing that would arouse me: fantasizing about fetishes I developed when watching porn. Then it was back to porn. I need to be cured of this.

As Internet speed has soared, so has masturbation to videos. They are easily accessible, increasingly extreme—and much more stimulating than Playboys of the past. Alas, most experts are not thinking in terms of "degree of stimulation affecting brain chemistry balance/wiring." They're still thinking of all porn as "nothing more than a masturbation aid," and therefore harmless, or even beneficial. Since Internet videos are such a recent trend, it's possible that the standard thinking simply hasn't had time to catch up with the reality of today's porn and its risks.

Pornography addiction can foster erectile dysfunctionThe porn/potency connection is surprisingly treacherous. Most men's potency isn't affected by porn...until it is. So the problem seems illusory until it catches up with someone—at which point he tends to mistake hotter porn as the cure. More extreme material further desensitizes his brain. At this juncture, most men clutch at any explanation other than porn use for their symptoms, due to their growing dependency.

Often experts assume shame is the cause of such potency problems, but for many men it's likely that brain chemistry desensitization from heavy stimulation is the culprit. Not only have they been using porn quite contentedly for years, but also, if shame were the cause, the problems would likely show up sooner. Many men experience NO problems until years of heavy porn use have passed. Then there is a further decline as their search for more extreme material escalates. (Shame is not always irrelevant, of course. It can make sexual activity more intensely arousing, thus speeding up the desensitization cycle.)

The good news is that erectile dysfunction brought on by heavy porn use is apparently reversible. The painful part is that the sufferer has to surrender his compulsive porn use—a sacrifice that is surprisingly tough.

Here's what men shared:

After years of porn, I was having trouble with erections. It had been getting worse and worse for a couple years. Needed more and more types of porn stimulation, and it still was not helping. I was really worried, but the anxiety just pushed me deeper into porn. Hard to believe, given the progression. I probably used every type of porn image and vid out there except for one: child porn. What scares me is, could I have gone that route, too, one day?

The more I go without porn, masturbation, fantasy and orgasm, the more difficult it becomes to not get an erection. LOL. No ED problems or weak ejaculations like I had just a few months ago. My body has healed. So, if you stay away from porn and masturbation your sexual desire will go up. It will go up in a good way. Giving it up for just this short period of time has been a big step in healing the damage I did to myself. Now the challenge is to find a partner, or a masturbation interval that works.
--
After a 90-day period of abstinence from porn/masturbation, I noticed that I was more sensitive than before; I didn't need any other stimulation to make me horny. Also the semen leakage stopped. Now that I have returned to some masturbation, I notice that I have been the most interested in women (and have ended up in bed with them) during my experiments with low masturbation frequency.
--
While I was consuming porn and beating off, I had severe performance anxiety when it came to actual sex. That is gone. I have no problem. It is nice to get aroused by little things: a revealing blouse, some innocent cleavage, a summer dress, or just a woman's flowing, shiny hair and fragrance, instead of "Cum Gurgling sluts" video clips.
--

I'm glad this porn-ED issue is becoming more recognized. It's gonna help prevent a lot of problems. I've read things about people being able watch porn occasionally and then still perform with a significant other. However, if they went a long stretch without any type of partner sex, and watched a lot of porn with masturbation, then they had difficulties—difficulties they didn't previously have.

According to psychiatrist Norman Doidge, a heavy porn user is not unlike

a drug addict who can no longer get high on the images that once turned him on. And the danger is that this tolerance will carry over into relationships, as it did in patients whom I was seeing, leading to potency problems and new, at times unwelcome, tastes. When pornographers boast that they are pushing the envelope by introducing new, harder themes, what they don't say is that they must, because their customers are building up a tolerance to the content. The back pages of men's risque magazines and Internet porn sites are filled with ads for Viagra-type drugs—medicine developed for older men with erectile problems related to aging and blocked blood vessels in the penis. Today young men who surf porn are tremendously fearful of impotence, or "erectile dysfunction" as it is euphemistically called. The misleading term implies that these men have a problem in their penises, but the problem is in their heads. ... It rarely occurs to them that there may be a relationship between the pornography they are consuming and their impotence.

Here's the bit that most men don't know. A period of discomfort or intense horniness during the days of recovery after intense stimulation seems like a sound reason to self-medicate with another porn binge. But doing so actually worsens the problem. If someone climaxes before his brain is back to balance, he's likely to seek out hotter and hotter stimuli. Why? A primitive part of his brain is still temporarily less responsive. This is why regular sex/porn "isn't doing it for him."

Couple in hot tub
Hotter stimuli produce arousal, but further dysregulate dopamine levels in a key part of his brain. As his hangovers and cravings for hotter relief come to dominate his life, the user can forget what equilibrium felt like. Often he experiences uncharacteristic depression and anxiety—which he won't connect with the changes in his brain brought about by heavy porn use. And because the problem is developing in the brain's wiring, Viagra's temporary fix won't halt the deterioration. (It only addresses blood flow to erections.)

As my visitors discovered, the solution seems to be to stop masturbating to porn. In fact, foregoing masturbation entirely for as long as two months speeds the "unwiring" of the acquired association between arousal and extreme, synthetic erotica. This offers a fresh start, sexually speaking (although the brain is likely to remain very sensitive to porn-related cues indefinitely).

This lengthy, often agonizing, "rebooting" process can be scary. Some men fear their libido will vanish completely. This is not the case. As the brain comes back to balance it tends to become more sensitive and responsive, not less. At first, however, some experience a gray period, during which nothing turns them on because their brains are so desensitized.

As the brain is prevented from pursuing porn-acquired associations, it eventually looks around for other sources of pleasure. It rediscovers the ones it evolved to find: friendly interaction, real mates, time in nature, exercise, accomplishment, and so forth. In fact, many men find exercise particularly beneficial. It improves self-image and eases anxiety and depression while the brain is returning to homeostasis.

Obviously, lots of factors can be at work in performance anxiety. Yet as people learn to regulate their sexual responsiveness to real potential partners using changes in their own behavior, they can more confidently address any other issues contributing to performance anxiety.

[Also see: “How I Recovered from Porn-related Erectile Dysfunction”]

For more on understanding erectile health, see Gary's Erectile Dysfunction and Porn slide show.

Using meditation to reverse ED

Meditative Treatment for Erectile Dysfunction

by Gérard V. Sunnen, M.D.

Bellevue Hospital and New York University

In recent years the potential of volition to change the functioning of the autonomic nervous system has been increasingly explored. Treatment modalities including hypnosis, biofeedback, relaxation training as well as meditative techniques have indicated that bodily processes occurring below the level of awareness can surface into the area of conscious control with implications for self-management (Schwartz, 1973; Griffith, 1972).

Meditative treatment has been used successfully to modify arousal states and to induce altered states of consciousness (Deikman, 1963; Maupin, 1969). The early study of Indian yogis (Brosse, 1946) demonstrated their capacity for heart-rate control. Since then, studies of meditative practices have yielded information on their potential to slow respiratory rate, lower blood pressure, decrease oxygen consumption, lower skin conductivity, and induce EEG changes with increases in alpha wave preponderance and amplitude (Anand et al., 1961; Wallace & Benson, 1972; Benson et al., 1975).

The rationale for using a meditative technique for the treatment of sexual impotence came from different sources. During the course of evaluation, one patient in this study remarked that he had noted a virtual disappearance of sexual feelings in his genitals, especially marked at times when he attempted to have intercourse. He described it as sexual anaesthesia and contrasted it to the familiar sense of fullness and warmth he had experienced before his condition developed. Subsequently, all individuals in this study were screened for this phenomenon; six out of nine men reported an absence of genital feelings, and the remaining three men reported a partial decrease in their genital sensations.

The mechanisms leading to erectile response involve a relaxation of the vascular musculature with consequent engorgement of the penile spongiosum. When asked to introspect into the genital areas during in erectile response, individuals will invariably describe sensations of fullness and warmth.

A recent study of the male sexual response (Koshids & Sohado, 1977) making use of thermography showed increases in genital warmth occurring 2 minutes after exposure to an erotic movie.

It was hypothesized that some cases of secondary impotence may involve a deficit in those psychophysiological systems responsible for the expression of genital warmth and that training the individual to reexperience this sensation could reestablish sexual competence. Meditation seemed highly suited for this purpose because it can provide direct amplification of bodily sensations and bring about concentrated intervention into the locus of altered physiological mechanisms.

Method

Nine patients with secondary impotence and a mean age of 32 years were included in this study. All had this symptom for more than a month with a mean of 2-1/2 months. Five patients had experienced a relatively acute onset in response to a traumatic situation, while four others reported an insidious symptom progression. The former tended to have more than one sexual partner, and the latter related their difficulties to chronic discontent with one partner. Medical checkup revealed no abnormalities.

The rationale for using meditation in treatment was explained to each one as casually as possible to minimize suggestion effects. Instruction was given in the mechanics of the meditative process. Preliminaries to meditation include the choice of an appropriate setting as well as the adoption of a mental set where all outside events, concerns, fears and fantasies unrelated to the experience are disregarded. Instructions were given in the art of sidestepping intruding thoughts and in the task of maintaining clear awareness without drifting off to sleep. Each patient was asked to reach a baseline relaxation level by sitting and focusing attentiveness on the rhythm of breathing. This usually took about 3 minutes, and then respiratory rate, heart rate, and muscle tone dropped to a resting minimum. At that time patients were asked to shift their focus of attention to their genital area and to meditate on the experience of pleasant sensations of radiating warmth, taking care not to tense any pelvic muscles when so doing. After preliminary exercises in the office, each patient was asked to repeat the process twice daily for 15-minute periods.

Results

Five patients reported the experience of minimal genital warmth within 10 days, and two others after 2 weeks of practice. This sensation became stronger and could be elicited more quickly as training continued. The two remaining patients reported fleeting sensations but were continuously distracted by intruding thoughts and could not sustain a workable focus of attention. These patients, although motivated, did not consistently achieve genital warmth and did not develop erectile competence. One of these patients persisted for 7 days, and the other for 2 weeks before becoming discouraged with the technique.

Those who were able to bring about genital warmth were able to reproduce it consistently with subsequent meditative trials. The seven successful patients reported the return of erectile experiences within 2 weeks of the attainment of genital warmth. Coital performance was reported in these individuals to have returned to presymptom levels, and in three patients to have improved beyond that.

Two patients developed the ability to achieve erections at will while in the meditative state, usually after 10 minutes of exercising the technique.

Follow-up at 3 months after the achievement of erectile competence showed stability of therapeutic gains in five patients. One patient was lost to follow-up.

Discussion

The experience with this small group of patients suggests that certain modified meditative techniques may be helpful in the treatment of erectile incompetence. Individuals best suited for this modality are sufficiently motivated to set aside two 15-minute periods daily for meditative practice and have some ability to ease away from their thought streams in order to focus attention on an anatomical part, search for and amplify feelings of heat, and at the same time remain alert and relaxed. The 2 individuals who did not benefit from the technique seemed to have some difficulty with one or another aspect of this complex mental process.

In viewing the results of this study, it is helpful to note that in some studies the rate of spontaneous remission from secondary impotence has been reported to be high. Ansari (1976) found a 68% remission rate 8 months after initial evaluation.

Experienced meditators have been shown to process stress more efficiently as their experience increases (Goleman & Schwartz, 1976). It is possible that our successful subjects were able to handle sexual situations with greater calm than in their previous experience, and therefore less inhibition of sexual response. Interestingly, all successful individuals in this study reported increased feelings of inner peace in their daily lives, while the two men who did not respond to this treatment modality reported no change in their ability to cope with stress.

The efficacy of the technique may also rest on the specific learning of control pathways into the genital ANS. The fact that successful subjects reported genital warmth within a few minutes of exercising, whereas they could not do so before their treatment, and that two individuals reported an acquired ability to create erections voluntarily may support this hypothesis.

The therapeutic possibilities of this technique await further study but already lend some hope to selected individuals suffering from secondary erectile dysfunction.

References

Allison, J. Respiration changes during transcendental meditation. Lancet, 1, 833-834 (1970).

Anand, B. K., Chhina, G. S. & Singh, B. Some aspects of electroencephalographic studies in yogis. Electroencephalography and Clinical Neurophysiology, 13, 452-456 (1961).

Ansari, J. M. Impotence: Prognosis (a controlled study). British Journal of Psychiatry, 128, 194-198 (1976).

Benson, H., Greenwood, M. M. & Klemchuk, H. The relaxation response: Psychophysiologic aspects and clinical applications. International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine, 6, 87-98 (1975).

Benson, H., Rosner, B. A. & Marzetta, B. R. Decreased systolic blood pressure in hypertensive subjects who practice meditation. Journal of Clinical Investigation, 52, 80 (1973).

Brosse, T. A psychophysiological study. Main Currents in Modern Thought, 4, 77-84 (1946).

Goleman, D. & Schwartz, G. E. Meditation as an intervention in stress reactivity. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 44, 456-466 (1976).

Griffith, F. Meditation research: Its personal and social implications. Frontiers of Consciousness, pp. 138-161. Ed. J. White. Avon, N.Y. (1974).

Koshids, Y. & Sohado, J. Application of thermography in diagnosing impotency. Hospital Tribune, 11, 13 (1977).

Masters, W. H. & Johnson, V. E. Human Sexual Inadequacy. Churchill, London (1970).

Maupin, W. On Meditation. Altered States of Consciousness, pp. 181-190. Ed. C. T. Tart. Wiley, N.Y. (1969).

Schwartz, G. E. Biofeedback as therapy: Some theoretical and practical issues. American Psychologist, 28, 666-673 (1973).

Wallace, R. K. & Benson, H. The physiology of meditation. Scientific American, 226, 84-90 (1972).

Tales of Porn-Related ED 1

Too much pornography can lead to erectile dysfunctionA very small sampling of self-reports of various men who have experienced porn-related ED. For more stories check out these porn-induced ED threads:

For longer, more detailed ED accounts see Rebooting Accounts and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads                                    


From an MD who finally figured out he had porn-induced ED

I lost my girlfriend but gained this community ... Hello from a new member and an M.D. who learned firsthand what the medical community doesn't (yet) teach you about the dangers of porn

by dayoneforthis33yrold

My sincere hello to all the guys here! I'm turning to this community for help, and I wanted to introduce myself and my situation. I'm 33, healthy, a physician who just finished my training ... and for the past 6 months have struggled with ED and DE which ultimately led me to realize that porn and arousal addiction have destroyed my most recent relationship. The loss of my girlfriend last month over a lack of "physical chemistry" as she said it …. my ability to please her, as I say it ...tore my heart in half and made me feel like a fraction of a man, but in the process forced me to take a good long look at myself and realize that my habits and coping mechanisms over the past 15-20 years of my life have caught up with me ... and I am going to have to fight hard if I am going to dig myself out of this emotional and biochemical abyss so that I may have a normal, healthy, and enjoyable sex life and a successful relationship in the future.

Although doctors know a lot about the human body, there are certain phenomena that are not yet in the mainstream fund of knowledge. The dangers of PMO and arousal addiction are not yet mainstream. Even though I am a medical doctor, I had NEVER heard about them or realized they were so well described as they are on the internet by the pioneers like yourbrainonporn.com and the nofap community. (My exgirlfriend, also an MD, had no idea too.) What I did know was that I was not happy, and frankly had never been when it came to sexual relationships and intimacy with women.

Regardless of having slept with over a dozen women, some of whom were extremely attractive, I have always used porn since I discovered VHS porn back when I was 12-13. At least 3-4 times a week since high school, I have used MO to feel better, and most of the times PMO. As technology improved and as the training for my specialty got more intense and required moving cities a lot and got in the way of having relationships, my porn use escalated. During relationships porn interfered in intimacy (subtly dampening the chemistry of the relationships at first, and over time muting them completely as with my most recent relationship that failed 3 weeks ago) In between girlfriends I always had my habit to make me feel better, even though the lack of a great intimate relationship with a woman always gnawed at my heart and made me feel less confident and less of a man. When times were tough or I had long gaps between girlfriends, I used porn more heavily. And with the improvement of technology over the past 20 years, the intensity of the problem grew and grew. 15 years ago the internet made it easy to download clips, and I started stockpiling porn like it was food and a nuclear war was about to start. 10 years ago the DVD craze was getting huge, and I started stockpiling DVDs. Then when internet porn a couple years ago made a digital cloud library possible and the evidence of hard drives and disks obsolete, I threw away everything and just joined a website that gave me everything I wanted, at any time, in HD.

Yes, my dysfunction escalated over time. Delayed ejaculation was the only sign for the first decade, but in the past 5 years I noticed my ability to pick up girls declined with a loss of confidence that I seemed to be having. And then my habits started catching up with me especially in the past 18 months … a death of a family member and a bad break up happened before last summer, and I relied on PMO to make me feel better for 4-5 months. This escalated to pretty long sessions, and multiple times a day, with more pay sites and HD quality that I could toggle and click and FF and rewind and interchange girls at a moment's noticed, and I got lost in the sad and lonely world of PMO ... sucked down the drain and I didn't even realize it was happening.

And then a bright moment in my life happened. I met a girl at work. She was a doctor too. She was beautiful and sexy and funny and we clicked instantly and laughed, we spent every minute together as friends and I eventually told her I was crazy about her and we started dating 6 months ago. It was an amazing connection, the first girl in my life I felt I may have a future with. And it was amazing, until we tried to have sex. The sex sucked!!! My dick got limp, during sex, or I would have delayed ejaculation (foolishly thinking I could last longer, which should be a bonus ... but my GF hated that I could not orgasm with her). Even though she was also an MD, and had no idea what was wrong with me because she knew I was too young for blood flow problems to my penis (a common cause of ED in older men). At first I thought it was anxiety from the new relationship, then I thought it was stress from an upcoming exam. And I reassured her that it would get better and she was hiding that she was miserable to protect my feelings while I studied for a huge exam.

My Eureka moment when she came to visit me after the exam after 2 weeks away from her, and I got limp during sex! It devastated her, and she leaped out of bed and said she couldn't do it anymore for the morning and went to take a shower. Hurt and rejected, like a baby clinging to a blanket, I reached for my phone, logged into a website, streamed HD porn and got a 100%stiff erection instantly and came in 30 seconds. And as the endorphins faded, I could hear her in the shower behind the wall, and my heart sank because I could not be intimate with her … and I knew that something was seriously seriously wrong. We were on and off again for a few weeks, and after taking me back it happened again 3 weeks ago (I was still using porn, not knowing why it was happening) and she left me for good. I was devastated. I sat on a couch for two days and researched everything I could on this topic, which led me to all you wonderful people and this support group, as well as a life coach dedicated to this problem, and as I read all the info a light bulb went off in my head. I tried to explain to my girlfriend what was happening, but she said I was crazy, did not find her attractive, may possibly be gay, and she could not be in a relationship with me anymore outside of friendship. So I cut her off. And now I am alone, and have all of you, and need to prove to myself that I can make it to 90 days.

Sorry for the long post. I will try posting something short every day for the next 90 days.


From this thread - How come it took us so long to make the connection that porn was the problem?

A significant problem is that the medical profession is far behind the times.

My personal issue is primarily sexual function, not brain fog/social anxiety/etc.  I googled around a lot about ED a few years ago and found almost nothing that talked about the link between porn and ED.  All the "respectable" website didn't even list it as a possible cause of ED.  In fact, most sites say something like, "if you can get it up to porn, then you have no physical problems...it's all in your head."

So I started seeing doctors and spent a lot of money.  Same thing there:  "Erection to porn means it's in your head...take some Viagra."

Ultimately, I did a lot of research on ED and spent quite a bit of money on doctors, tests, medicine, etc.  Not once did any health care professional say to me, "Hey, you know, watching porn too much can cause sexual dysfunction."  Instead, they offered up other things which are not even proven to be linked to ED and typically did not apply to me anyway (e.g. anxiety...even though you've been with your spouse forever and show no signs of anxiety; stress...even though you don't show any indication of being stressed; diet...even though your weight is normal and you eat a balanced diet; low testosterone...even though low T hasn't been linked to ED (except in extreme cases...and even that is weak) and your T is not really low).

Then there's reddit.com/r/sex...with absolute horrible advice from "sexologists" who frequent the site.  So bent on being "sex positive," they not only deny the potential negative consequences of porn use, they actively ridicule the notion of porn-induced ED.

So, though I feel stupid for not making the link between porn and ED myself, the fact is I sought out research and advice from professionals and porn was never brought up except in a positive light.  I didn't think to say, "Hey, I fap to porn" because, at the time, that was the same to me as fapping generally....everyone does it, it's normal...in fact, it's healthy.

I even started the process to evaluate the possibility of surgical intervention.  It would be between $25k and $30k out of pocket and the results are not encouraging (penile revascularization).  The day after that appointment I stumbled on YBOP.  Oh my god...what a revelation and what a relief.

And it works...I'm not 100%, but I've improved dramatically and things keep getting better. My PIED started about 10 years ago.  I've spent thousands of dollars on doctors, including a well known urologist specializing in ED (had to travel a couple of hundred miles for that one); thousands on tests; thousands on pills.

And it turns out all I had to do was quit fapping to porn.  Unreal.  Honestly, I'm a bit angry given that I actively sought solutions from professionals, including specialists, who graciously accepted my hard earned cash yet gave me bad advice.

Thank you, Gary.  You figured this out when everyone else was saying, "no way!"

As individuals, one of the best things we can do is give your doctors feedback on this issue.  Let them know your experience.  Save an erection...point them to YBOP.


[This is the classic story we hear over and over] I'm 19 years old and started PMO at age 12. All the way through middle and high school I've been shy, introverted and suffered social anxiety - I didn't connect to anyone even though deep inside I wanted to make good bonds. I've always thought I was abnormal and blamed it on genetic causes up until now. During my later years of using porn daily (aged 15-19) my tastes for porn have progressed to more extreme material which I've been increasingly disgusted about. It went from from pictures of naked women to fetishes and even to the shemale material which has caused me to develop anxiety that I'm gay, but i only like women in real life. I have had relationships with girls, and had sexual experiences with them except for sexual intercourse - I'm a virgin at 19 and feel odd. I have ED - I couldn't get it up for 4 separate occasions for 4 different girls. This has all added to my anxiety. I feel down every day, with thoughts running through my head at 100mph. I don't feel myself. I feel hopeless.


Dear Libido.

I just want to say that my penis and I miss you more than anything in the world. We've had such great times together and I thought we would never split up. I didn't realize that I didn't treat you right, and that I was in fact hurting you, and in the end killing you. I can't stop to think about all the fun we've had with girls, not just the ones we were physical with but also how you made my dick get move around in my pants when a hot girl walked by.Since you left it has felt like a part of me has died off and that I am walking around in constant apathy being an androgynous creature without the urge to have sex, or even fap, and little dickie won't hardly ever get up anymore.

Because of your departure, I have been to the doctor and had bloodtests and got Cialis, and he sent me to a shrink dealing with sexual problems. None of those quaks could find any reason for you to leave and said I was fine and healty, and it probably was something in my mind. I have been missing you for almost three years and at first I didn't even realize that you had left. I just thought that there was something wrong with my dick but it turned out that he, as well as I, were missing our best buddy - you!

Because you left, my girlfriend left too. So now I am alone after having realized that both you and her left because of porn. I want you back more than anything and I hope that you read this letter and decide that you will return. I have realized that you are more important to me and dickie than anything else. Hopefully, you will return shortly now that I have thrown out the bitch that is porn and you and I can be together again on many great new adventures.

Besides writing this letter to you and hoping that you will return I can also always re-read this if you return and remember what life is like without you. Come back REAL soon!! Love Penis and I.


I developed PIED within a couple years after getting my high speed internet connection 10 years ago. For years I struggled because it would be very tough to get hard enough with a real  woman, especially in the beginning, and if there were condoms involved I would lose my erection most of the time in the process of trying to put it on.

I would always return to porn to reassure myself and would get rock hard, especially with my real crack cocaine of porn: webcam shows. This allowed me to rationalize my PIED as just being not attracted to the girl, or some other factor. I tried all kinds of boner pills and for a while with my girlfriend would never have sex unless I had had a strong cup of coffee, taken some arginine  or butea superba or maca, and had laid off masturbating for a couple days. It was like i would plan my week around my webcam and PMO sessions to try and perform with her a couple times week - which wasn't enough for her!


How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life Gay guy describes his porn-induced ED.


A month ago I gave up porn. Throughout my whole life I would never PMO more than twice a day, usually only once. Also, I never escalated into "extreme" or fetishist things. But, despite all that, I still developed "copulatory impotence" "porn-induced ED" or "desensitization", etc.

A few days ago I had really great sleep and later that day I had a very good evening. I was holding eye contact, smiling and feeling super confident. Its days like that that make me know that this is the right thing to do. Also, I've always loved to write. For the last couple weeks I've been writing like a mad man. I've started a new project and am super proud of what I have been creating. I can only attribute this to the extra energy I've had from not wasting it on PMO.


With regards to my own situation, the correlation between porn and ED couldn't be clearer. ED hit me from out of nowhere and devastated my psyche. However, I'm glad to say that after cutting out porn and masturbation completely for the past month, everything is returning to normal, and I've seriously never felt better.


I have a similar story which proved to me that porn can be harmful to my health. About a week ago after a huge dry spell i was finally fooling around with a girl that i was very much attracted to. We were making out but I sucked on her tits and fingered her a little bit. She rubbed my dick and dry humped me and i grabbed her tits but throughout this whole session- about 40 minutes long- i never got fully hard. When i watch porn i get hard immediately but with her i could only manage a half erection and that was because she was rubbing my dick and i was grabbing her tits. I have a routine where i jack off every ten days but i will often watch porn everyday. The day before we fooled around i jacked off to porn; I'm 98% percent sure that if i didn't jack off that day and if I didn't watch porn as much, I would have managed an erection which would have most likely scored me at least a bj.


A lot of accounts in the literature I've been reading say that people aren't turned on by real lovers. It's not even that I'm not turned on by the prospect of actual sex. Both the porn and the concept of real sex are exciting (maybe the concept of sex is LESS exciting). It's just that when in the act, I feel like I don't know what to do or think in order to get it up. It's as if my brain has been trained to trigger an erection in response to the porn, and not to the real thing. Does this make sense?


I am a 23 year old male that has been frequently masturbating to porn since I was 14. Everything was fine until a couple of years ago in which I increased the frequency that I masturbated to porn. I started to notice some significant erectile dysfunction problems. I could get hard after some time, but the erection would still be fairly weak (both alone and with a partner). The few times I have tried having sex with a partner since then ended up in failure for the most part. I would either not get hard enough, or, if I did, I would cum within a minute of sex.


Wow, so glad I've discovered that I might not be as f*cked-up as I thought I was! Like many, can easily bop the bishop between 1 to 4 times a day but simply do not get erect when in an actual sexual situation with a woman (have to get it up manually - usually whilst I'm going down on her - then get it in as quick a possible and keep thrusting to keep it firm!!!), in fact it was a *massive* contributor to the breakdown of my last relationship as I never really wanted sex that much plus I got this eventual lack of confidence in my own *seeming* lack of libido. I mean, she was *gorgeous*, exactly like the sort of chicks I was jacking off to - how could I cum when looking at pics of women like my GF but not be even horny with the real-life version. It was MAD! I've decided that I'm gonna stop now and already my mind is going nuts as I generally hit the PC after work and stare at naked chicks for 2-4 hours (and this is EVERY NIGHT), probably busting one or two nuts during that time. Been wanking pretty much daily for the last 24 years, already feeling this crazed, psychological emptiness in regard to kicking the habit, I'm withdrawing already, sense there's a massive gap that needs to be filled in a different way! This is gonna be tough but I will give it my best shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am a 53 y/o man. Today marks 28 days without PMO!! Like most, I have always had a problem with porn - nothing too serious, but over the years, I just like watching people have sex. My problem escalated about 18 months ago when I got high speed internet. All of a sudden, I went from just viewing pictures online, to viewing videos and movies online instantaneously. I never really gave it much thought, but after almost daily viewing, sometimes even binging for hours on end watching porn videos, I really began to notice a change in my own personal sex life with my wife.I had never really had any ED problems at all. But when ever my wife and I would start to have sex, I could not get an erection. Sometimes I would get one, but then it would quickly start getting soft. Sex has been almost non-exist ant for us. My wife is kind and gracious and says, "That's alright." Oh that is comforting ... almost!!

So on May 17, I was on my way to my "favorite" porn site to watch more video clips, and somehow found this site. Watching the "Your Brain on Porn" video series and reading other posts have helped encourage me along the way. I have had some temptations, but I always make sure I stop by here first and read new post or even re-read old post to help me stay focused. So far so good.This morning I was at a sports web site and there was a picture of a girl in a bikini on one of the banners - for the first time in a long time, my penis started to make a move toward an erection. So maybe this is a move in the right direction. I find it interesting, that even when I would watch porn videos, 95% of time, I could not get an erection!! Even when I tried to masturbate to a video, my penis never got full erect. Hey men, we're in this together! Let's continue to help and encourage one another. Even though I don't know any of you, your words of encouragement have helped me.


I found out my addiction was harmful the first times I tried to have sex with her and my body didn't work (almost four months ago). We hadn't been going out for long before that, but still, in that moment, I cried on her shoulder. And she was so sensitive with the things she said to me, and so tender, and so... everything. Nothing felt wrong in that picture. I didn't feel embarrassed at all to be crying with her.That was the way I found out we were irreversibly in love with each other. I think my addiction played a part in that, and I have to thank it for that. Just kidding.I tell everything to my partner, and I think every couple should. If you do, you'll immediately feel better. If you really are in love, you'll endure everything. And believe me, I couldn't imagine myself saying this lame romantic thing even 5 months ago.


I am in my late 30's, have used porn heavily since my teens, and have had ED problems for a long time - at least since my late 20's, though it's only recently that it's become almost total copulatory ED. I've blamed it on partners ("I'm just not attracted to you"/"I wish you were more responsive"), the newness of partners ("I need to give my body time to catch up to my brain"), fitness levels, diet, age, stress, performance anxiety. And actually, all of those, except for the "I'm just not into you" factor, probably have a part to play. But when I realized I could no longer even masturbate to orgasm without porn, something clicked. It seems blindingly obvious now, of course.


I remember sitting through classes my sohphomore year in college just in total fear of seeing my girlfriend that weekend, because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. I worried about ED pretty much all the time, and it really affected me deeply. When I'd actually be in bed with her, I wouldn't be able to think about anything aside from the fact that my penis felt like it was size of a tic-tac, and any moment, she'd be reaching down for a good solid erection and find that instead. I've never felt more emasculated than that period of my life. Tt's since gotten better. But it was also a really odd relationship and both of us were horrible at communicating feelings, so it just ended up being something we never talked about. Eventually, we just stopped having sex altogether. It was pretty messed up. After that finally ended, I met a girl I could talk to about the problem, and that was half the battle right there. Communicating with your partner about it is KEY (obviously).


Thank you so much! I've suffered from the exact same problems and I've wondered what to do. To tell a little about me, I'm 23. I first tried to have sex when I was 18, but I couldn't get it up (I had already been masturbating almost daily for 6 years, generally with tight grip and erotic visuals, often multiple times a day). I've had sex with four partners in my life and I never reached orgasm with any of them. In short, my sex life has been disappointing. Indeed, my last relationship ended because of erection problems of this sort. She accused me of being gay, but I knew that wasn't true and yet how was she to believe me if I was by all appearances not interested in her?

I've talked about this with with several friends. I've suggested that perhaps excessive masturbation might be the problem, but they have been very dismissive, giving me the usual spiel about how masturbation is harmless and healthy. I finally have the confidence to act against the conventional wisdom now that I at last have confirmation of what I had long suspected in the back of my mind.I have felt very alone in my problems; what I've experienced has gone against the popular narrative that men my age are so sexually insatiable that masturbation could never affect their sex drive. Thus, I've been feeling like a horrid, castrated aberration whose issues were more deserving of contempt than sympathy. Indeed, erectile dysfunction is never portrayed as tragic or deserving of sympathy in popular media, it is always portrayed as hilarious. These worries have put considerable stress on me and have affected my life in every aspect. It certainly is NOT funny and it angers me that it is treated as such!I could not have found this article at a better time and it is impossible for me to exaggerate the hope and excitement that I feel!


I am in my mid-20's and have had ED for as long as I can recall. I also started masturbating at a very, very young age - so young that I wasn't even aware of why certain things compelled me and why it suddenly stopped and I had 'finished', so to speak. So, ever since a young age I was into porn in some form, but growing up in the age of the internet with hardcore flowing porn at seemingly no cost whatsoever, I took to it like a duck to water. I have been to doctors and had medical, and have been told physically I am fine. Over and over again.

Yet I longed to discover I had an underlying disease so as to have the hope that it could be sorted. In the intimacy that I have had with women I have always relied on Viagra or Levitra (the latter is the most reliable for me) but neither provided me with the absolute solution, as even they wouldn't work 100% of the time.I stumbled across a similar piece of information as this material last year or the year before, but somehow it didn't embed itself and I carried on with the porn, 1-3 times per day with the multiple screens open with different videos all streaming - struggling to satisfy my insatiable desire.

It took a lot of effort to do one thing for hours. For example, cooking is a chore, cleaning is a chore, walking to town is effort and takes too much time. But I could surf for porn for hours, even a whole day and just casually masturbate, in search of the 'right' scene. What a waste of time - as I'd ejaculate as quick as I'd want. I could have done it on the first video and had a whole day free!Even then, my erections weren't 100%, maybe 70-80%. When I'd achieve a full 100% I couldn't believe my luck, but it wouldn't stay that way for long. I was convinced I had a physical problem with my penis, which could have led me to the porn obsession and the bad practice. This may still be the case. But experts have no answer to the physiology side to it other than to offer Viagra or similar drugs. The analysis here makes sense to me and is at least worth a try. I hope this is my problem as to have a normal functioning penis would be a godsend!


The link between porn and ED couldn't me be clearer for me. I'd follow this cycle:-Stop enjoying sex and even masturbating to porn (but do it anyway) ->-Give up porn ->-Get better erections and more pleasure out of masturbation and sex ->-Think I'm cured ->-Go back to porn ->-Go to step 1During the bad times, even when I did manage to get it up for a real woman, that sensation just wasn't there. I wasn't enjoying it, just doing it because I though it it would help to get me back on track.Now I can see that the opposite is needed: give up all orgasm for a while, re-balance, and take the psychological pressure off myself.


I am 24 years old and have been battling ED for years now and only recently attributed it to porn addiction. I tell you what, I have been on an emotional roller coaster while trying to figure out what the problem was. What makes the whole thing so difficult is that you know that you should be aroused by "real" women, but for some reason you can't. Then you try to consciously make yourself aroused which is basically impossible, and once this fails you spiral into a depression/anxiety. Physicians really need to be more aware of what is going on with this.


 I personally am having the same issues of "rewiring" my brain to "real woman" circumstances. If I'd known I was desensitizing my brain I would not have started this porn/masturbation behavior. When I attempted to have sex with a real woman, I had ED. No response; just frustration. The most embarrassing thing was she was aggressive and attractive, which I sought out in porn images.I have started the "reboot" process with daily improvement. First, terminate the porn even situational sexual programs on TV (i.e. Showtime, HBO, Family Guy or Simpsons). Next, exercise vigorously, to pump blood throughout your system. If you have to masturbate, use a real woman to arouse yourself, not porn. Slowly, it will come back. This has been working with me. The only issue I have is performance anxiety due to prior failure. My confidence was shaken, but I will recover since I know it is not a physical problem.


The other night I was watching a program about prostitutes. I recognized some of the girls from porn movies. I found it interesting to gain the perspective from the girls in the sex industry, something I think is rare, at least in a nonjudgmental fashion. But anyway, they were speaking at one point that they could tell who the chronic porn masturbators were because nothing they could do could "inspire" the man to get it up. Think about it, even girls professionally trained in fulfilling male sex fantasy are unable to match the stimulation of pornography, including some girls who are actually in pornography. "Normal" women who just want our affections don't stand a chance.

I have the exact same problem as many of you and it is comforting to learn that one is not alone. Got used to masturbation and porn since I was 13, when doing the real thing with many different women, I would always lose it during intercourse.I have stopped watching porn for a month now, and no masturbation for a little over 3 weeks. I don't miss them, because I refuse to live a life where this is a problem.Now, I feel a difference. I try and stare at women more often and try and imagine sex with one of the ladies I have been with before. But will not masturbate, will touch myself gently on the side of my penis and not touch the upper part where I used to hold a tight grip. I am not remotely close to climaxing.

I have someone I am developing a serious relationship with, but she has moved overseas. We had messed around a couple of times before she left, but no intercourse. We engage in cyber sex, and as mentioned earlier, I don't masturbate, just gently touch myself on the side. I am getting to yearn in different ways now. It sometimes feels like I am rediscovering my sex urge.I am determined to heal myself, I am seeing a therapist to help me around the anxiety by doing sensate focus and EMDR and meditation. Things are going well.


I definitely can relate to this. I'm 28 years old and a former collegiate athlete. My situation my not have been as extreme as others, but abstinence from porn and reduced masturbation definitely help with psychological ED. If the urge becomes too great, masturbate to fantasies in your head.After a few weeks I felt better and had more confidence in the bed with women. Porn is the only thing I have ever become dependent on, and I drink and used to smoke cigs and weed. Go figure.


I have been battling ED ever since my first girlfriend. Even with her my sex drive was definitely not where it should have been for a 17-year old. Any sexual relationships with women after that have always been somewhat boring to me. I could never get as excited as I should have. I have been masturbating to porn since a very, VERY young age. My family has had internet ever since it existed. As a very young boy I was surfing the web for a website relating to a video game I was playing at the time and stumbled accidentally on a pornographic website. Ever since then I have been addicted to porn and masturbation.

I have always been depressed about my ED problems, but I just couldn't understand why it was happening. I regularly get morning erections so I knew it was not a physical problem. I am now in my mid-twenties and have zero drive to meet women or to be in a relationship with one. I could never understand why this was. I felt that I must have a healthy sex drive if I have the urge to watch porn and masturbate the way I do, so I never associated my issues with either habit. I just always assumed masturbating and viewing porn were something guys did.Now, I am completely convinced that my addiction to pornography and masturbation is causing my ED with real women and my lack of desire to be with women in general.

As I sit here typing all of this I can't help but feel very angry. Angry that this life-long addiction has caused me so much anguish. I feel I have missed out on so much in life because of this addiction and it makes me very sad.I have tried multiple times to break this habit but I find it to be very, very difficult. I usually make it a week at most before I break. I know this is a mental battle, and it is one that I intend on winning. But it is by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, as sad as that sounds.I really think that this is a much bigger problem than people think. More and more young men are going to their doctors about ED, and I'm almost positive porn addiction is the reason. I have never seen so many different ads and commercials for male enhancement products as I see now, so obviously there is something going on. No one wants to talk about it because it is an embarrassing problem, especially for young men. I think this definitely needs to be studied more, by science. I hate pornography and what it has done to me! But knowing I'm not alone is comforting.


I have looked at internet porn since I was 14. I'm now 26 with erection issues during sex. In the back of my mind I always felt like too much masturbation and porn was causing these problems, I even asked the doctors at medhelp.com. They all laughed at me and insisted masturbation is healthy and that you can't masturbate too much.


Thank god I'm in my early 30s and porn to me is a fairly recent thing. I didn't have an addiction problem growing up and in high school in the early 90s because I didn't have regular access to the internet. I don't know how kids today can cope, because they are getting hit so early. Poor overstimulated young guys!I would say my little problem is maybe a year and a half old. Before then it was only occasional porn viewing, mixed sporatically with real sex. I never got too extreme in porn viewing either. Just the normal hard core stuff but never gay or weird crap. Honestly I don't want to sound like a denier, but I don't think this is an addiction for me. It was more of a habbit/something to do after a hard break up with an ex g/f. Had I known the consequences of such frequent porn viewing I never would have done it in the first place. After all what's more important to a man than his ego/manhood? I will not allow anything to put that in jeopardy. Now that I know the consequences I have completely stopped without hesitation of going back.


I've been addicted to porn and had ED issues since I was 15. My first sexual experience was bad. My addiction has caused these problems till now, when I'm 25.


The problem is you don't even realize it's a problem until the temporary ED hits you literally out of nowhere. That's why the word needs to get out. So yeah, I'm well on the road to recovery now already feeling better after a few short weeks and plan to return back to my studly ways very soon. Diet, excercise and willpower win the day.


I've had this problem for a while, and all I can say is I just went to the doctor and had full blood work done, hormones checked. My penis is fine, which is evident 'cause I have morning erections daily and in perfect health. Since this isn't a physical problem, it has to be a mental problem and I'm pretty sure it is porn desensitizing me.


 After i broke up with a long time girlfriend about 4 years ago, i sunk into a state of depression and isolated myself. i started to use porn and masturbation as an "antidote". It allowed me to not feel any pain or confront any of the issues I was feeling inside. I wanted to develop "thick skin," and not feel a need for closeness with women. In other words i felt like i had too big of a heart. I was too "soft" for a man, and wanted to desensitize myself. The experiment worked unfortunately, and for the last two years I have been experiencing low libido and ED issues.

I have been to three doctors (including a specialist), been prescribed ED meds (which i just started taking, with little to no effect) and even under the knife, to repair a varicocele, which was a pretty unnecessary operation. All these things have been done in a desperate attempt to repair the damage I've done to myself. The only thing I haven't done is refrain from porn, and masturbation for long period of time. Although I feel little desire, I'm too fearful of the 'use it or lose it' theory. This article has offered me a last bit of hope and I am going to follow your recommendations and refrain from porn/masturbation.


I was in the same situation as you [previous report], minus the meds and surgery. I stopped porn cold turkey but did not stop masturbation. I used my imagination, only maybe every other day. I didn't force it either. If I wasn't relaxed or in the mood I would just simply not do it.Once you start getting back to normal, you might end up having to deal with some sexual performance anxiety like I did. I've never had that problem before in my entire life but it's a very real thing. All this worrying and thinking about your problems is bound to lead to it.For me the combination of patience, an understanding partner, alcohol and if, you can believe this, subliminal messaging audio during the day did the trick. I'm not trying to give away free advertising but the stuff seems to have worked. Or maybe placebo? Who knows? Either way I'm happy as hell right now because I'm knocking boots just like I did when I was 18.


Hey thank you so much for this material. I have been going insane thinking that my sex life is over (This really gave me some peace at mind.) But I have a question. I am 15 years old and I've been masturbating since I was 12. It started out as just simple videos but recently I have been getting into more extreme stuff. I am not currently having real sex because of my age, but my addiction has worried me that my future sex life will be ruined because of the mistake I made as a teen. I am really wanting to quit porn because I know its effects now and I'm hoping to recover and get aroused more around girls. Can you explain to me the basic steps I need to take to recover please? and should I keep on masturbating to my thoughts or do I need to quit masturbation and porn both?


I have looked at porn for pretty much the last 5 years and I have found it has affected my erections.I  recently met a nice girl that I like a lot, but when it come to getting an erection and performing I couldn't. I didn't realise this would be an issue till i tried to perform. It is really frustrating, so i am wondering: if I don't look at porn, how long would it take me to get a natural erection again? Is it the case that if the person has looked at porn longer than the recovery would be longer? I guess when I look at hot women on the internet it's totally different from having a girl in bed, so the tolerance must be too high, which is why i cant get hard.


I'm 33 now, but discovered porn at age 10 via VHS tapes my mom and dad had in their VCR when I went to watch a movie. I searched their room for more, and found they were renting on an almost weekly basis. I was hooked then. I masturbated multiple times a day. I never really slowed down that much. Now, of course I only watch Internet porn. I watch so much of it, it's sickening and has taken over my life for a LONG time. I found out that I can't have sex easily, or if at all. I must use Cialis or a generic form of the drug, and even that isn't working that well, if at all. I eventually lost all sensitivity, and even when I was able to have intercourse, I felt nothing. So, I’m able to last a LONG time if I'm able to get it up, which is rare.


Well I can attest with fully confidence the benefits of going deeper into abstinence from PMO and limiting sexual fantasy. My erections are becoming much fuller, stronger and spontaneous during these dog days of summer. I’m happy that I'm regaining my full sexual health. I haven't felt this excited and sensitive to real girls and women my age since I hit puberty. I’m a hormonal rage full of sexual energy, and, unlike by pre-teen years, I’m harnessing this energy and reaping the benefits in the form of a more balanced mental state and oodles of physical energy I'm channeling toward physical activity. An issue with these roaring erections, however, is that my primitive brain is like ' OMG! OMG! Imagine if you sat down and slapped on one of your fav P videos. Your mind would explode!' I realize that I have had a real turning point in recovery when at the same time I begin to realize the pitfalls and consequences of giving in BEFORE I begin to indulge, NOT AFTER! So I came up with a creative idea of limiting the spontaneity of my extendible rod by doing some kegel exercises. These kegel exercises basically work the PC muscle within males and, having read, also help with maintain control during sex, particular beneficial to those with pre-mature ejaculation (Not me tho). The idea is similar to working out other areas of your body is the sense of drawing energy away and limiting potential activity while recovering. I also plan on hitting the cold shower today to take care of testicular pain which I think is Blue Balls. Anyway, it feels great absorbing satisfaction from the non-virtual environment around me and not relying on sexually produced material to 'make my day'.Keep fighting the good fight everyone!


I noticed I had a porn problem maybe 6 months ago and decided to cut back a lot. So instead of watching every day, it decreased to maybe once a week, with some other masturbation in between. But after reading this article I haven't watched porn in over a month, and only masturbated 4 times. The recovery has been very up and down. There was one week in particular where I masturbated 3 times because my sexual energy was so high.But during the week and a half since that week, I haven't been able to get any solid erections, or have any sexual energy. I know this was supposed to be a frustrating process, but I thought once I was able to achieve solid erections again I was cured. During the past month, I have noticed slight improvements in my social behavior, but also some days not so much.


I was somewhat surprised recently to read a forum thread (actually quite a few) at Men's Health, where guys were discussing their struggles with this (porn/ED), simply from a practical perspective. Mostly young guys, 20s or so, can't get it up anymore with a real girl, and they all relate having a serious porn/masturbation habit. Guys will never openly discuss this with friends or co-workers, for fear of getting laughed out of town.But when someone tells their story on a health forum, and there are 50, 100 replies from other guys who struggle with the same thing...this is for real. If I can quit, and the ED gets better, I'll get back to you and let you know. It could take a while.It is significant that1) these guys are open about this experience, where in a different setting, let's say with peers face to face at home or work, they would never be candid about such a thing.2) Most of them note that quitting or decreasing the porn/masturbation use is extremely difficult.3) There is little mention of moral or religious reasons to alter their habits/lifestyle in this regard, only a practical desire to overcome ED and improve their performance in the "real" bedroom.


I'll keep my story brief (27yrs, male). Over the past several years, I've suffered increasingly worse symptoms of ED. After a breakup with my first love at 21, I began to experience soft erections whenever a condom was involved, but fine without it. Around 23, I began dating a girl and I couldn't maintain an erection even without a condom, and we broke up. Shortly after, I began using half-pills of Viagra to maintain an erection for another girl I was dating for several months, but I couldn't get an erection with her at all without it. When she broke up with me, I hit a two-year battle with depression, shame, and self-worthlessness that put my life into simply a state of existence. Nothing more, I was empty inside. It was so terrible to feel like I wasn't able to have sex anymore, much less become intimate with someone else. Would I be like this for the rest of my life?

Last fall, I began dating someone else, and I was secretly taking portions of Viagra pills, trying to wean myself off while building my sexual confidence. After 6 months, I couldn't hide it anymore from someone I loved - I told her everything. I have never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. She told me that she understood, that she loved me, and that we could work on it together. She broke up with me two weeks later. That's ok, though, because I've finally realized that this problem is never going to go away unless I get in front of it and face it.

 Since then (6 weeks ago), I've decided to do something about it. I've approached a counsellor, who suggested I likely had performance anxiety, which I had already suspected. I went to the doctor hoping to get a test for low testosterone (which I still need to do), but I was surprised to learn that my daily habit of smoking marijuana could be a major contributor to the ED.Today, I've learned that I might have a PMB addiction from this site. For the last several years, I've been smoking marijuana and using P to MB on an almost daily basis. Sometimes, much more.

The scenes have become increasingly "shameful," to the point regular P doesn't do much for me anymore. I can MB without it, but it's more difficult to maintain an erection, and my thoughts wander quite easily, causing me to lose focus. I've been doing this for several years....And now, after seeing this site and the SUCCESS people have had in overcoming performance anxiety and ED with a mental rebooting and abstinence from P/MB, I'm quitting that cold turkey as well. Starting right this moment. I can't believe that all this time, I may have an addiction to PMB that may be the cause to this problem.I'll do almost anything to overcome this. I'm so tired of being a victim and needing a pill to have sex. It's not natural, they aren't healthy, and they only mask the problem. I want to be happy with relationships and intimacy again, and I'm willing to do the work to get there.


It is possible that my situation has been among the most dire known here. I will explain. Including that first episode of ED when I was 18 I have been with 31 people in some capacity of intimacy. I believe in 16 of those encounters I had some degree of ED. Many times it was total ED. Some of those encounters were with men. I thought maybe I could be secretly gay, and that was the problem. No. The result was the same with men. In the rest, I avoided sex entirely for fear that I couldn't perform.


Something very weird happened to me and I am curious how to cure it. I am good looking and physically healthy, but because of being very shy and insecure in earlier stage of my life I had no (except few making out) relationships with girls. I’m not shy anymore, but because of lack of experience I always stayed insecure with girls and that made me a 29 – year old virgin. I hired an escort girl because I wanted to loose my virginity before 30th birthday. And I did it, and had sex for the first time. But something disturbing happened. I knew before that I have problems with my libido and erection (porn is one of reasons). But I didn’t expect this. I waited for this day for years and I was very excited. But when she came and laid on top of me my penis was totally soft! I even pretended to go to the bathroom and masturbated there a little, but still nothing.

This girl I hired is very, very good at her job. She has excellent recommendations and she performs very enthusiastically. When we talked between orgasms she told me that she loves that job and that she feels that she is born for that. She sucked my penis looking me straight in the eyes and caressing my body with other hand and still it took very long to get an erection (not 100%) and to have an orgasm. When we had sex after that, she really put some effort in sucking my penis before it stood up. It took really long and erection was again not 100%. Than she was on top of me and I had a really good orgasm. Than she performed oral sex one more time. But this is the weirdest and most disturbing part. Erection is, as you know, possible in two ways, sexual excitement and physical stimulation of the penis - or both at the same time. I had got those partial erections and three orgasms solely because of physical stimulation! I wasn’t sexually excited at all!

I waited this for years, fantasizing and salivating at sexual images of others and now I’m looking at this woman giving me blow job in a beautiful way, moaning and looking me in the eyes and really performing excellent, but nothing! I spent so many hours looking at naked women, dreaming and wanting to kiss them, and touch them, and now hot girl is naked with me in bed and I do not even care!The image of a penis entering a vagina was always especially exciting to me in porn. I dreamed of a day when I will see my penis like that and thought how much of a rush is that going to be. And now I watched my penis in her vagina while she was riding me and that image didn’t excite me at all! Truth: When she was on top I had a really good orgasm, but only because of friction she made. I am astounded by this discovery. While she was performing these most erotic acts for me, I felt totally distant, like she was some inanimate object, in fact worse, because I would be more excited with a doll.

I am aware that I have (some probably porn related) issues with erection, but I always thought: ”Hey, if I get an 65 – 70% percent erection looking at lame porn pictures on a screen, I will be rock hard when some girl starts sucking my penis.” But no! Day after my meeting wit that girl I went on porn site just to see what would happen. Although I had 3 orgasms with the girl previous night, almost immediately after watching some pictures and stroking my penis I got an erection (60 – 70%) and in a matter of minutes I had an orgasm! Not only because of stroking, I was mentally excited watching images. Day before, those images were real and I was in them and that didn’t excite me, but now they do. Pictures excite me, real live sex doesn’t. How is that possible? And more important, how to cure it?


OK, so here it goes. I'm 19 and been masturbating to porn since I was around 12/13. I have always watched it and believe I am addicted to it.When having sex with women I find it hard to constantly stay erect and especially to ejaculate. I have never been capable of ejaculating inside a women and ejaculating in front of a women has proven very difficult. I literally have to go at the speed of romping rabbits to actually get anywhere, however in the presence of porn I can ejaculate within minutes. The longest I have ever gone without porn is around 11 days, so does anyone have any help on what to do to prevent myself from watching porn. I know your going to say stop watching it. It's simple but it's like telling a chain smoker to stop smoking, not gonna happen right. So ye anyway help, advice etc. Would be greately appreciated. Many thanks in advance to everyone. Lewis


[Now age 28] I lived a lie for two years with my last serious relationship. I literally, for two years, would hide and time the taking of cialis and viagra (bought online) before sex. It was insane. A complicated web of planning. Eventually, as with most young men, I got bored. Went REALLY heavy into porn, so much so as to masturbate while she was sleeping. How can a single woman compete with an infinite amount of HD porn stars doing kinky hardcore acts? I bet most of you here can relate, having like 10 tabs open of different porn scenes, but never finding a scene exciting or intense enough. Always looking for THAT scene to finish too. 

Well, ED got worse. I broke it off with her after that. Previous to her, in another LTR, I could only get off to my GF giving me hand jobs. It was like masturbating. I previously had developed a HJ fetish. She was gorgeous, a model in fact. But as in a later relationship, porn was way more exciting. I have a vivid memory of her onetime lying on my bed, in satin underwear, done up to the nines. I could see how beautiful she was. How many guys would go bananas. And yet I felt no arousal. I knew something was wrong.


I didn't think I was addicted...

I never thought of myself as an addict to porn. Anytime I'd see a post on reddit about not fapping, I'd just laugh. "Fapping is normal, why would anyone stop?" I know now that fapping masturbating isn't bad. Fapping to porn though...

Someone actually explained in a comment why people might choose not to look at porn, and stop masturbating, and linked to your brain on porn, as well as this subreddit. I started to read a bit on the site. At first I dismissed it outright "this is pseudoscience" and "this applies to other people, not me". But it lodged something in my brain.

It takes me a really long time to orgasm. I have a partner. We have sex. Even when I fuck him, I can't always cum. We've been together almost four years, and he's never been able to masturbate me and make me cum. Not once, in four years. I thought it was just the way I am, not very sensitive. But then I thought about it. When I watch porn, I can cum in no time, sometimes minutes (though frustratingly it can still sometimes take forever).

I started to think about that, and the stuff I read on your brain on porn. I wondered if maybe it really does apply to me. I said, "I'm not addicted, I can stop anytime". So I did. I didn't mark the date or anything, because I still didn't see it as affecting me. I think it may have been last week, though maybe it's been two. I can't even remember.

Then today. I really wanted to look at some porn and jerk off. And I really thought about it. Do I really need to look at porn? Why do I feel so compelled. Normally I'd give in, but for some reason, I went back to your brain on porn. And read some more. And finally ended up on these pages Why do I find porn more exiting... and this porn ED test. And I realized that was me. I thought about my history with porn, especially before I got a partner, and realized I am addicted to porn.

I was going to write up my history with porn, and partners, because the more I think about it the worse I realize it is. But I think I'll save that for another post.

TL;DR I didn't look at porn today.


MY STORY!!!(The Reason I'm Doing This)

Okay let me start off by thanking you for reading my very first post! I was first introduced to porn by my cousin when I was like 7. My life changed ever since, I was addicted to this new found drug. I soon began to go on the computer for porn when I was alone like every chance I got and masturbated. I did that for like 3-5 days a week! I thought it wasn't a problem so I kept it going until I was 18 (current age). I learned that it was wrong thanks to google, then google sent me here. I now have a serious problem!!! (random) I can no longer get boners without porn, a girl can be right in front of me naked bent over and nothing would spring up. That makes me feel less of a man and it should so that's pretty much why I'm doing this. This should rid me of porn dick I've heard, I WANT MY FUCKING MANHOOD BACK!!! (Good luck on your journeys!)


My road to recovery, unbeknownst to my wife.

About 3-4 weeks ago it finally hit me that I have a PMO problem. I have always been an avid porn user, averaging once a day no matter if I was single or in a relationship. I never realized it was a problem until I gave it up a few weeks ago. I even got caught twice by my wife, then girlfriend. She was super pissed at me and said it made her feel inadequate that I was going behind her back to look up porn. The second time she caught me, she said if she ever catches me again our relationship would be over.

I kind of blew her off at the time, told her I’d stop, but in secret have been using porn behind her back ever since. Looking back I realize how dumb that was, I was risking the greatest thing in my life, my wife, just so I could jerk off???? How ridiculous when I stop to think about it.

What finally made me realize I have a problem was in October I got laid off. I went from using porn before work for about 5-10 minutes to masturbate, to 30, 40, 60 minute marathon sessions multiple times a day. Quickly after I started using so much porn I developed ED. I felt so confused inadequate, scared, nervous, anxious etc. This went on for about 2 months, it seemed like whenever I’d try to have sex and couldn’t, I would just use more porn, try and test myself, and see if I could get an erection. I found myself looking for weirder and weirder types of porn just to get off. All typical porn addiction symptoms I’ve now learned.


draconis7

Good for you. I'm almost in the same situation. Mid-forties, had an ED condition for about a decade, but worked around it with my partner, so I stopped noticing until 3 years ago, when it started developing into complete impotence. Saw a few doctors, nothing wrong physically, was always misdiagnosed - they never ask about porn. I suspected there was a link to my PMO habit but couldn't be sure, so I kept it going. A month ago my gf left, and I decided to solve the problem once and for all, otherwise I don't have enough confidence to approach new women. Found this group and the Tedx video, went cold turkey about a week ago, feeling a lot better already (better mood, increased vitality).

Like you, I'm from the pre-internet days, didn't even discover masturbation before the age of 30, strange as it may sound, so I'm hoping to get my old potency back in full. Not suffering too much from withdrawal, as my habit was only once or twice a week anyway - but this may get harder as more time passes. I want to see how long it takes to start having wet dreams, as they will give me some release.

If you're improving, you could ask your doctor to replace Viagra with Cialis, which is much milder, with very low side effects. For me, about half of a 5 mg Cialis tablet is usually enough to restore full function. But obviously I'd like to be able to do this on my own, without any kind of medical crutch.

Good luck and stay strong.


What the hell have I become? [Long rant/cry for help]

From the get go, I'll be the first to admit that what is to follow is very much a cry for help, sympathy and an attempt to make myself feel good about myself. But I just need to vent, somewhere.

I just turned 26 years old last Friday. I have a fantastic job (6 figures), graduated from a top 5 university on a full scholarship, 6'2'' tall, fit (could lose some flab) and surrounded by friends. But I fucking hate my life. Yes, I am aware that there are many many people out there who have it worse, but that only makes me feel worse. Despite having it all, I feel empty and unhappy.

I actively try to avoid people even though they keep calling / texting and asking me to come out with them. Instead I sit in my office (yes, in my god damn office), edging. If I do get dragged out, my mind is constantly somewhere else.

I've been a perpetual fapper since I was 10 years old and it got REALLY bad in college. I essentially spent almost all my free time in college fapping. When I could have been meeting amazing people, dating girls, doing fun stuff. I went from being one of the most popular guys in high school to being a nobody in college. I kept jerking.

I can speak 6 languages and I choose to speak with no one. Instead I pretend to be someone (literally, I jacked an acquaintance's photo of the net and pretend to be this suave Swedish guy) and pick up women on r/gonewild. Yes, that's right, with all the opportunities and advantages given to me, I spend the majority of my free time messaging girls on GW and getting them to cam with me.

The worst part is that if I wanted, I probably could have dated so many girls. I just ignored them. There is no empathy left in me. Women are just objects. I've probably bedded 25+ women through one night stands and been in only 1 long term relationship which ended recently on terrible terms (I caught her cheating on me after months of suspicion). I thought I had it all, that women would fall over themselves to be with me, but the one girl I chose to be with and opened myself up to, turned out to be a manipulative, cheating whore. I suppose you get what you deserve.

My friends think I'm a player - because I rarely see girls more than once. You want to know why? It's because I have ED. I meet them at clubs, charm them (or deceive them), and bed them. Then I can't get it up. So I beat them (not in a violent way, more of a Dom/sub way). Most of them love it (surprises me every time). I wake up in the morning, make up some excuse about having to go to work (even if its a Sunday) and throw them out. I'm ashamed to see them again. With my ex, I used viagra and satisfied her. Maybe I did deserve to get cheated on. I was cheating all along too. Pathetic. I'm just pathetic. 26 years old, fit and a cock rendered useless by years of porn. Hoorah!

So here I am - I haven't fapped in 42 days, but I've been on a edging binge since my birthday last week (which I spent alone! Despite my friends wanting to throw me a party). I have a huge exam coming up for business school next week - and instead of studying for it, I'm edging. I just spent all of today (including work hours), messaging women on GW. I know if I get a 700+ score I can probably go to Harvard or Stanford. Instead I set here rubbing my cock through my jeans, constantly refreshing reddit hoping that one of the girls I messaged returns my message. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

The worst part is knowing I have the potential to do great things but being too afraid. Procrastinating things till the brink, and then relying on last minute work to get by. I am not realizing my true potential and that is what sucks so much. I don't have control over my urges. I'm like a fucking crack fiend. I disgust myself. I'm worried I might wake up one morning and become Patrick Bateman.

I need to stop edging and focus on my work/exam. Time to man up and put my miserable life out there for everyone to see. I've disappointed my parents, my brother, my friends, the anonymous people who put me through college. I'm amounted to a lying impotent piece of shit.

I don't know what else to say. But it feels cathartic to write all this out. Please let me find the inner strength to change myself. Please.


It all makes sense now.

When I finally connected the dots between my ED and porn, I laughed. I sort of couldn't believe how obvious it was once I accepted the notion.

The details are a bit murky for me on exactly when ED from porn started kicking in (or would've revealed itself with a real partner), because I was in a long distance relationship for four years that could've given the lack of physical contact in the movie "Her" a run for its money. I turned to porn to fill in for all the physical contact I wasn't having. Prior to this disastrous and waste of time of a relationship I did watch porn, but I didn't have ED and I definitely only used porn once in a blue moon. Once in a blue moon turned into twice a day, and I went through all the classic escalation that occurs from habitual porn usage. I didn't have some of the more extreme kind of binges (devoting tons of time, not participating in life, etc), but it was for sure an extremely important part of my routine without me even realizing it.

When I finally ended that relationship, I moved into something pretty quickly after that and much to my dismay, was as limp as a wet noodle rolling around in bed with a girl that had me mentally ready to jump her bones. I was a bit embarrassed, but explained it away due to being with someone new and it being the first time in forever. I remember coming home and questioning things and hilariously enough, I masturbated to porn to prove to myself I could still get it up easily enough. /shakes head. I tried again the next day and the same thing happened. I thought maybe I just wasn't ready to be in something physical and moved on shortly after.

Another few months went by and I ended up meeting a girl that fit every porn stereotype I love. She was completely tattooed up, attractive, and perverted as they come. This is the kind of girl I remember swearing would sexually make me the happiest dude ever. A little while later she stays over one night and even after buying myself time in other ways, I still couldn't get an erection. Panic time. She blamed it on herself (wouldn't listen to otherwise) so she just kept trying even harder and for weeks just nothing but avoidance of the issue or just disappointment as it was pretty much me just one way oral and rubbing. All the while, I am still looking at porn and getting erections almost the instant I say down in front of my computer. But yeah, again I must just be nervous even though I didn't feel it. /shakes head.

The past month I met another girl who I've gone a lot more slower with which is what I'm more comfortable doing anyway. We end up getting drunk at a party at her place, and start fooling around a bit without any intention for it to move to sex. I literally couldn't believe that rolling around and kissing this woman who I am immensely attracted to and care about wasn't making me hard, even if we talked about waiting for a while. I went home the next day and almost on a whim Googled "no erection without porn" and came across yourbrainonporn. My brain must have lit up like a Christmas tree reading even the basic description. This was it. This was why I wasn't getting erections to normal women but could get excited the instant I started searching for porn. It really just made me laugh. All I could do was laugh every few paragraphs because of how much it made sense. And all of the things I did to along the way to make myself feel better just made it so much worse. There's humor there at least for me. It was so much less funny when I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me or with what I was doing.

I stopped masturbating that night (18th of Jan) and went about a week without looking at anything. I caved in and looked at a few pictures yesterday and the rush was insane. Didn't masturbate, but I really wanted to and was angry that I couldn't. After a bit though I was infinitely more angry that I let something have this kind of hold on me.

I've read TheUnderdog's posts and I'm going to keep trying to put as little thought towards porn as I can. I'm looking for suggestions and encouragement with dealing with this consuming addiction. Thank you everyone for reading and for anything you have for me.

 

Tales of Porn-Related ED 2

A very small sampling of self-reports of various men who have experienced porn-related ED. For more stories check out these porn-induced ED threads:

For longer, more detailed ED accounts see Rebooting Accounts and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads


Ok, so I have had problems getting an erection or staying erect going back to early 2004. I am 37 years old now. Prior to 2004 I would get erect for sex with no problem, having an erection and being ready to go was never a issue. These days, I watch porn and masturbate to it or to pictures on profiles on swinger websites) maybe 4-5 days a week. But I sit there for an hour at a time, 2-3 hours at a time, in between taking breaks, but then going back to it. The invention of Porn Tube Channels has not helped at all.

But here is the thing, prior to 2004 when I started having this problem, I was 30, and had been masturbating all the time for 15 years without an issue of erection( I started having sex at 20)......... But here is what I realised. AND GENTLEMAN PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS...... In early 2004 I installed boradband internet at my house. Within weeks I was in front of the monitor trying to find as much porn as I could and masturbating to it, finding pictures online, and masturbating to them. That was a new form of masturbating for me. Prior to that, my masturbating was regulated to watching a hot girl on television, or a steamy scene on a cable movie and masturbating. Running to the bathroom and masturbating. Or right here in the living room, a quick 2 minute pleasure............ But Broadband Internet introduced me to a new form of masturbation....Long drawn out episodes of masturbation. Clicking from one video to the next until one finally turned me on to the point of ejaculation..... At times 4-5 times a day, 4-5 days a week. Going through swinger websites, going through pictures on profiles, until it made me ejaculate........ Guys, the past 7 years of this type of masturbation has RUINED my sex life.........

I am an attractive guy, good body, work out all the time.......I can not count the number of great looking women I have met the past 7 years that I have not been able to perform with. The latest being last Wednesday (10/26/11)....I met this great Asian girl, she came over. I stayed hard for a little bit, but it was gone within 5 minutes. And as I usually do when this happens, I jerk myself to get hard, but that takes a few minutes, and then when I entered her again, it didnt last 2 minutes. Needles to say, she was nice about it. But I have been texting her since that day, and I get very short non-personal replies.........She was obviously disappointed.....

As of late I have been confiding in friends about masturbation, and they all do it, and some say they do it all the time. But they have no problem getting erections when it comes to sex. It has obviously occurred to me that masturbating in front of the monitor to porn, pictures, is what is effecting my sex life and inability to get erections.........

I'm sure masturbating normally, maybe once a day, maybe twice a day, for a minute or two over time would have not affected my sex life and erections at all. But masturbating to internet porn and pictures really does cause you great harm.........

I remember last June. I was going to Dallas for a company outing. I knew a sales girl from a different branch. We exchanged sultry emails and text messages. So I did not masturbate for 3 days. I did Wednesday afternoon, then didn’t do anything until I would see her. Saturday night I went to her hotel. We were naked within 20 minutes, and heres the things. She blew me and got kind of hard, but I jerked myself to get hard. And when I entered her, I could just feel this incredible feeling I had not felt in years guys, years. I was staying hard and maneuvering her all over the place. It was freaking incredible. The only thing I could not control was as soon as she got on top of me I came almost instantly...But that’s when I realised how internet masturbating to porn really ***** you up big time.

Needles to say, to this day I’m still masturbating to porn, I did it last night for almost 2 hours. I’m looking into getting professional help. But guys, you will read different things that masturbating is not directly linked to erectile dysfunction, and that might not be true. But it does not specify the different types of masturbating habits people have. That is something that is not studied.

I'm 37 years old and have been addicted to masturbating to internet porn since 2004 when I first got Broadband internet, and that’s when my erectile dysfunction started. And I don't believe the dysfunction come from a psychological block; My brain telling my penis that it can never be as good as the porn when I’m in bed with a girl so there is no point in getting hard. My problem and the problem of a lot of others is the excessive pulling and strain on the penis pretty much just wears your functions out..


 Doing it for real this time... or rather, not doing it

After several rebooting attempts over the past year or so, with varying degrees of success and length, I have decided it would be a good idea to post on here to help myself really stick with it this time.  After my first run of no P (for 2 months), I definitely got a taste of the superpowers; more confidence, "flow" through life, and natural attraction between me and girls, I was feeling really good one day, and had been smoking a lot of weed at the time, and thought a little porn could't hurt... so right back down the rabbit hole I went.  I've had a few attempts since then and usually I feel pretty good after about a week, with a couple days of intense malaise.

   This is the first time I've really written anything about it, so I'm thinking this will help me really stay on track, me being able to read my thoughts along the way and go back to remind myself to stick with it.  The worst part for me is the drop in libido that seems to happen while rebooting, everyone says this is a sign that it's working, but it feels like my sexuality gets amputated from my body or something...

   So for a little background, I am now 24 yrs old, I started masturbating at a very early age, as well as looking at porn videos, before I could even ejaculate (probably 10 years old or so)  my family was one of the first to get an internet connection in one of the first small towns in Iowa to get internet access... damn progress! lol  So throughout middle and high school I was very reluctant to talk to girls, even though I would still get turned on by seeing them. Starting some time around 6th grade, I was put on various medications, first for ADHD for a little while, and then for depression and bipolar, with eventually being prescribed bipolar and sleeping aid pills that I took every day throughout high school.  I bet a lot of those symptoms were actually caused by excessive PMO looking back on it.  I started smoking weed in senior year and smoked a lot until about 5 months ago when I quit (I had a few attempts at quitting weed before my recent successful one as well, mostly because I thought it was weed causing my low libido and inconsistent erections).  I ran across the whole discussion of porn-induced ED on the internet last year sometime, and it was like reading about myself, I'm sure you guys had the same experience, many commonalities between all of our stories.

   I lost my virginity when I was 18, and actually shacked up with the girl for a few months after I moved away from home.  Most of the time sex was pretty good, although oftentimes I would have to visualize porn in order to keep it up or get off... also the first time I had sex I faked my orgasm because I was so desensitized.  I had a couple girlfriends after that, usually the sex was pretty good sometimes REALLY GOOD (especially when my computer broke... stupid me didn't make the connection), except there were cases of me not being able to get it up which really messed the relationship up, I was watching porn and didn't really know the effect it could have, and these incidents gave me a lot of insecurities.

   The last couple of girls I've been with, well sex just sucks now, and the relationship really can't work so I need to get better.

   One thing that really worries me is that my dick seems to be really beat up, I mean I've manhandled it, and put it through a lot of abuse, from no-lube jacking it multiple times a day, to doing PE (penis exercises; because I thought maybe they would help the problems I was having).  I have some curvature (not debilitating) and what seem like popped blood vessels, and sometimes painful erections.  Usually when I give it a chance to heal, if I go long enough a lot of the problems will resolve themselves, like my erections will be stronger, but there seems to be almost a band or a series of bands towards the base of it that are like underneath the skin, and prevent it from inflating all the way in that area, and when I've had sex with a girl, it's like i can't feel her vagina on the left side at the base, like no nerves or something?  I'm very concerned about this and I want to fix it if possible.


I'm 27 years old and have been dealing with this problem since the age of 24. It's funny how this condition can gradually set in. I challenge each of you to attempt to discover when the condition first showed its colors. Many of you will be tempted to say "well when I was with this person I was unable to perform". but if you look a deeper you may notice that the condition began to set in way earlier than that.  I understand better than most what it's like being young and living with ED. After my "recognizing stage", you know when the weight of the world seems comes down on you and crushes you like a bug.....I began to think in a more constructive manner.

First, the natural course of action is to read online and learn everything you can about ED (causes, possible cures, etc.). Next, I visited multiple general practitioners and noticed that they were generally ignorant regarding this condition. Their knowledge was limited and knew only what their Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra reps had taught them (a bit bias to say the least). I took the pills and generally had the same problem and began to grow really concerned that a solution may not exist me. Me, being the bulheaded "never take no for an answer" son-of-a-***** that I am, decided to take this a step further and fully explore my medical state. I had blood work ran (testosterone levels, cholesterol, hormones, etc), I personally paid for a Cat-Scan of my pelvic region to ensure blood flow was normal and sufficient. I had a Urologist perform Doppler Testing on my penis and took every natural herb in the book. Guess what the result was?? .........HEALTHY and FINE!!

After ruling out physical conditions, I proceeded to the next logical step. I engaged in psych examination with a physician from Dartmouth for three months. Pysch evaluation is tough because you never know when it's finished and it's very expensive. I soon ran out of money and had to stop my evaluations. It's now a year later.....and I'm still dealing with the condition.

Long story short....."I feel your pain man". The real issue surrounding ED is that once you've experienced it you may be destined to remember it for a while. This means that when you engage in sexual activity you're mind snaps into the past and remembers what happened before. This causes a small amount of anxiety and causes your corpus muscles in your penis to restrict blood flow and leaves your noodle limp.

Good news.....I've began new work and my career is really taking off. After years, I've trained my mind to not focus on the issue. This is tough because lets face it..without the ability to reproduce you feel worthless not only as a man, but also a human being (women who have similar female problems feel the same). This process of reducing stresses in my life in association with mainlining good health has helped me regain control of my erections exponentially. Their not perfect, but have vastly improved. Like many of these posters, I have watched porn for 12-13 years and masturbated like a champ. My next stage is to cut out the porn and see how re-sensitization effects my performance.

Thanks for your posts, they've helped! I truly believe if you continue to work towards a resolution and don't spend your days moping you will find peace! Remember....healthy body, healthy mind, healthy spirit = healthy results! in a woman with condom since ... 5-6 months. So to all those readers out there down get down on yourself like I did.


God I Hope the 20s Aren't the Best Times of My Life...

I'm 22, I've had a few girlfriends and one or two one night stands. However, over the last two years I have not had a successful standard PIV experience, in part because of my crippling ED and fear of ED, which has led me to give up/find an excuse to avoid otherwise fruitful relationships. I used to and still do sometimes worry that I'm secretly gay. I've never been able to jerk it to guys and I don't get boners looking at guys irl or in porn- but I also don't get boners looking at girls irl either, and I'm not sure I ever have.

Because of my religious background, I was always scared to look at regular porn as a kid, unlike my other male friends.  However, I was an extreme reader and read through all the books in my local library. Among the more titillating for me at the time were those on hypnosis. When I was 11 I read a piece of erotica about hypnosis (but I didn't identify it as such) called Sarafina which I'm sure is still around somewhere and I actually remember coming without touching myself.  After that I began regularly masturbating to erotic fiction and things like mcstories.com and mountainman hypnosis (pictures of girls being hypnotized and stripping). Within a few years I found myself looking at standard pornography and I added that to the repertoire of things I masturbated to - eventually I found that I really couldn't get off to anything less than two or three girls and they all had to be exotic [although I've always preferred exotic girls irl so that might be an exogenous factor].  I find myself identifying as a sub and rarely read male dom pornography, but I find the sissifying/financial exploitation/transgender/anal/forced chastity stuff to be so completely and utterly repulsive/gross/exploitative/unnatural that I don't find myself aroused by them - so fortunately, that's not a problem.  But I'm lazy in that my fantasies are usually a female led experience, and any man who seeks that typically finds himself A. out of cash or B. enormously disappointed.

I'm in an extremely competitive University program and I'm interested in academia, however I took a year off to reflect and relax and I realized that my pornographic habits were crippling.  I had two turning points. The first was losing my "dream" girl two years ago after lots of bad sex.  In particular, I couldn't finish or keep it up with a condom. And, as if my social life weren't crippled enough, now she is dating another girl I used to make out with [and who I had another grim experience with]. Since then I've had a series of short-lived unsatisfying sexual relationships (two or three great one night stands where I could finish, lots of makeouts I was too scared/had no motivation to escalate and a couple of times where I did escalate and couldn't keep it up).

The second was that during my Sophomore year in college I would use Adderall or Modafinil. Whenever I took these dopamine boosting medications I would jerk it at least once, even sometimes in public places (although always when no one was around). I knew what was going on in terms of the brain chemistry behind this phenomenon, but found myself unable to stop. For me, this was extremely disturbing disturbing because I'm normally a reserved and cold man. In my mind I was contrasting myself jerking it in a place where I could get caught with my teenage self who always managed to avoid  (against my girlfriends' will- no less!) having sex in public.

Over the last year I've blocked most of the websites that I used to or had the potential to masturbate to (mcstories.com, rcwrites.com, xvideos.com, pornhub.com and the entire top 100 porn catalogue, and any blogs that I might potentially find arousing). I've also been able to tone down, but not eliminate my masturbation.  The longest I've gone is 21 days and I really want to reach 30 - as far as I know I've never had a wet dream - although I've started dreaming about more vanilla sex with fit girls I know since I eliminated the pornography.  Over time when I stop masturbating I tend to switch from sub to dom in my fantasies about myself (a few) or I fantasize about one woman dominating/controlling/hypnotizing/fucking another woman (many).

Flatlining doesn't bother me much because I'm busy all the time and flatlined sometimes after watching too much porn anyway - so that's not something I'm scared of and I "have faith" that if I get to thirty days I'll be making some real progress.

My experience more or less eliminating my porn (I keep finding new stuff to block, but it is of lower and lower quality and less likely to lead to me masturbating) and dramatically reducing my masturbation has led to a wealth of better sexual experiences with girls [and better interactions with men - surprisingly] and lots, lots more energy to get things done. I've found myself become an achievement machine and I feel like Da Vinci. During my time being chaste I've scored literally a couple dozen numbers and actually have a date tomorrow. Since University is intense and I'm an undergrad and she's a grad student, if I don't at least try to bring her home and bang on the first night out, she's pretty unlikely to call back [your experience may differ] and so I'm pretty disappointed about my recent failure.

Today I had a huge set back in that I began re-imagining one of these hypnosis + lesbians fantasies and nearly came without touching myself (I eventually gave myself one stroke and came). I think it's pretty well-known by anecdote here that if you don't kill the fantasies you won't be able to get it up with girls again even if you kill the porn. I hope I'm also not being controversial by saying that it's also pretty well-known that the (vast?) majority of attractive women love dominant, secure men [like any phenomenon, there are many exceptions, but the statistics are what they are] and the reduction of my parasitic fantasy life ought to help in molding me into something closer to that ideal. Of course, I've had to go without the Adderall and Modafinil, but it's a fair trade. State dependence + the rapid development of tolerance means that these drugs - for me - are not worth the tradeoff of minor academic improvement.  I also haven't had problems keeping the blocked websites blocked.

I've started a journal because with me re-entering University there's a lot more stress and a lot more girls. The combination is dangerous because A. I feel bad when I miss out on the experiences that the fit girls here could provide and B. the stress makes me a lot more likely to do things (read: jerk it) that will cause me to miss out on the experiences that the fit girls here could provide. I don't want to wait twenty-five years for brain modification technologies to come out before I can have some regular vanilla sex.


A couple of nights this past week, my flatmate's friend has been basically forcing herself on me. She came and slept in my bed 2 nights in a row wanting to fool around. And, 2 nights in a row, no response down there. A little embarrassing. I guess my brain was expecting an over the top nympho in fishnets and boots, the reality really couldn't live up to the hype.  Funny thing, when she left the next morning I could still bust a nut watching porn. That's when I knew I had a problem. I've been looking at porn in some way or another and jacking off since I was about 8 years old (just turned 22). Guess I have to teach my dick how to work properly again.


Where am I going? What I am doing?

Background:

Slowly I have been getting rid of clutter in my life and been trying to simplify everything to live the proverbial "simple life." Not going to get into the whole philosophy of it (unless someone wants me to - just trying to live in the now more as corny as it sounds), but over the past year(ish) I have tried my hardest to go back to a lifestyle more like out ancestors would have had and that our body has been made for. Our bodies and brains have hardly evolved at all over the past 50,000 years, yet how we use them has changed drastically. While not a complete list things I have done so far include:

-Start the warrior diet (one meal a day of mostly completely fresh foods)

-Exercise with no machines (outdoor cardio and frteeweights only)

-No facebook twitter etc (currently this is the only place I am posting on the net)

-Given away a bunch of my things and cut down tremendously on the wardrobe (currently all I have in my room is a bed, clothes, laptop and record collection - and I aint giving that away)

-Given up cigars, weed and coke (although under the right circumstances  I would smoke weed again, just not weekly for no reason)

These are just a few. Some things like the internet, I give up for a month, to see what my life is like without it (you have to take yourself out of the system to properly see that maze you are stuck in) before plugging myself back into it at a much decreased usage.

This brings me to porn:

I was going to do a similar thing like I did with the internet, see whats life is like without it and then make a decision at the end of the month. I didnt really think I had many P related issues, apart from the occasional case of DE which was appearing more frequently the I would like (not normal for a 21 year old), so I decided to give it a crack.

About a week into it I stumbled onto Your Brain On Porn and thought there might be more P related problems then I realized. Nothing serious, just how it affects your moods and energy levels and all that stuff you guys know about. So thats when I decided that there might be more to this then the simple give up P for a month approach I was going to do. So I decided to give a M as well. That was a week ago.

And that brings us to today and the title of the post. Where am I going? What I am doing? I have no idea. So over the next week, I think I will set an actual goal/timeline. This will be what I think my endgame will be: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=1995.0


I'm 22 with porn induced erectile dysfunction. The first two times I tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection at all, one time was sober one drunk. Then the next girl was kind of a 3-night stand over a weekend with the only improvement being getting a half-erection and penetrating momentarily before it was too flaccid to go on. Now, I've met the woman of my dreams, definite soul-mate and drop dead gorgeous...I ended up telling her about my past failures in intercourse and she joked it would happen with us but I was sure it wouldn't because there's a real connection with this girl, unlike the other two. And she's beautiful too, out of my league even...But sure enough the other night it was time and of course I couldn't get an erection...I managed to get a decent halfer at first when the clothes started coming off and she grabbed around, but then it just wimped out and went away...

I've looked at internet porn since I was 12, now I'm 22, There have been times where the internet porn addiction got kind of bad, but it always mellowed out to calmer more normal routines, but always frequent. Sometimes I'd masturbate daily, multiple times daily, but then other times I'd go for a few days or so without any porn or masturbation.

Either way this girl is really cool and understanding and we talk about it openly with next to no embarrassment on my part anymore, I was going to see a doctor but then we decided it might be porn induced or psychological, and after that night I've written off all porn and I'm not masturbating again for a while.


Here we go again

I started masturbating when i was about 11. I remember i used to do it prone, but changed it a year after to "normal style" if you will. When i was young i used to masturbate to comics with half nude drawn actiongirls, but it escalated to some porn magazines I got from a friend when i was about 13. When i got 15/16 i started watching porn video clips and I remember I got horny like a mad man. I was always a popular guy and girls often told me that I was good looking. Since I was a kid I have always been shy amongst girls, but when i started drinking about 16 years old I made out with a lot of girls but no sex.I When I was 18, I hooked up with a girl from class I was in love with, but  it ended badly. We tried to have sex but to my amazement i couldn't get it up and i freaked out. she told everyone of her friends and of course almost the whole school knew the story by the end of the weekend. It was the most embarrassing episode in my life and i honestly believe i became a different person after that day.

 Anyway when i was in the military i met a girl a bit younger than me and we ended up being a couple for almost 4 years. The first time we tried to have sex, I had ED even though i had taken a viagra pill. I hit rock bottom but she was really kind and said it didn't matter, and she had of course herd the story about me and the other girl :( But i finally managed to have sex after a while, but finally i admitted that i had used pills. She was shocked and told me that i didn't need to use them. And right she was because i  quit, got an erection and have never used them again.  We lived together for 2 years and where we lived we didn't have internet so i didn't masturbate while i was there, but we often went home in the weekends and there i would binge into hours of porn, feeling numb and low libido for several days. My libido was low and i could often only orgasm once (like an old rifle) and then had to wait 24hours before i could go again.

After almost 4 years we broke up last summer(nothing to do with my situation) and since then my porn use have really accelerated. I found the Yourbrainonporn site 8th January and i was so happy, it all made sense. I quit cold turkey and haven't looked at porn since. I have MO two times because i was only going to massage my self, but I couldn't help it, I had to O. It's been over 3 weeks since i last had an orgasm, and i want to wait as long as possible before I do it again.

IMPROVEMENTS: Less social anxiety, more confidence (I totally rocked at a job interview two days ago :) ), can easier get an erection by only touching my penis. I also got an erection in the morning only by thinking about a girl, no touching.

BUT: I haven't got ANY spontaneous  erections and it's really frustrating, and my morning erections are really variable. I also suspect that i recently got into flatline nr. 2. Feeling absolutely no libido trough all these weeks unless i touch myself. I'm also 99 % shure I have prostatitis. Several times i have got blood in my semen, although it's usually when i have been without masturbation for a while. The last time I had an O, it was completely RED and a week ago had to poop and it came blood out of my penis :(

GOALS: I want to have normal sex again. And it's really frustrating to only have had sex with one person when you're 24 years old. I want to have one night stands, but i think my performance anxiety is putting a stop for this :(

Well this is my story and i wish all of you guys the best. Would love some feedback :) sorry my English is quite bad


Yea, when I look at porn and can just keep browsing endless categories and stimulate myself I can get nice erections, but with a beautiful girl with whom I'm in love I can only get a half-erection that then fades away... I've stopped masturbating for 4 days, since the morning of the incident.


Back to Basics

Hi everyone!

A little bit about myself: im 23 years old and i suffer from porn-induced ED. I started fapping at 13 to mostly girls in my class and in a few years moved to female singers/musicians (Beyonce shakira etc) and porn. I would usually fap 1-4 times a day often with sessions lasting a few hours or longer - just to enjoy the feeling. I would even fap at work in the toilet stalls haha. I always suspected so much M was bad for me and tried quitting several times - the longest i would last was 5 weeks but i would eventually come back to porn. I never escalated to anything hardcore.

I was a virgin till 22 when I first had sex with a random hookup at a party - i was very drunk and i couldnt come (i was a few weeks PMO free at the time). My erection was decent i think but i was heavily de-sensitized. I chalked it up due to the amount of alcohol i had and moved on.

About seven months ago i met my first real gf (who i am with now). I thought i was in love and any thought about masturbating or porn would disgust me. Our first sex pretty much failed (i was hard but couldnt finish, again). Shortly, my skills improved and i could O in a few positions. I usually get hard just by kissing, but it never stays long.

Our sex usually lasts a few minutes - i suspect this is due to my erection lasting so short (she never had an orgasm even if i go down on her or use my fingers). Eventually, my old habits returned and i was fapping while she was away.

A few weeks ago i stumbled upon YBOP and everything made sense to me now. I decided to give up porn/masturbating forever. My number one goal is to get rid of this nasty ED.

Today marks the 17th day i am PM-free. The last two weeks were pretty depressing and i have a lot of mood swings. I also increased in beer and comfort food :( Sometimes i have days when im super motivated and go to the gym and eat well, sometimes i just want to drink beer and play video games.

Anyway, 4 days ago my gf came over and she gave me a heavenly bj (i was 9-10/10 hard) and we had sex right afterwards (4/10 hard). Does this count as a relapse? Do you guys think i should quit having sex for my 90days reboot period? Honestly i felt so bad afterwards due to the chaser effect that i am not sure whether i want it. I really don't want to tell my girlfriend about my condition, its probably easier for me to ditch her (don't have the same feelings for her anymore).

At this time i don't crave porn/masturbating at all and hope it stays this way. I get really excited about even talking to average girls right now (i feel like i want to bone every one of them).

P.S. sorry if my style of writing is very dry (English is not my native language)


I've been looking at porn since I was 9. I'm 21 now. Its only during the last year, once I started to get seriously sexually active that I realized I had an ED problem. After going through the requisite freaking out about how I was too young to have ED and embarrassment when I couldn't just pop up and go the way guys my age are supposed to be able to, I began to suspect there was some connection to porn. I have no problems when watching porn, but I'm dead when it comes to me being with my girl friend. And I love her.It is scary how little awareness there is on the net that ED caused by too much porn is a very real problem. It's not about us lacking confidence, or being uneasy around our lovers, I truly believe its all about desensitization. Although my heart and soul are in my lover, she just can't physically arouse me. She can't compete, no girl can ever compete, with the endless sexual visual fiction porn offers.

So, after reading through a lot of similar stories on Medhelp, I've decided to give up porn and hope that my penis starts functioning normally, with the girl I love, and not with meaningless fantasies online.


I am 24 and I've been having low sex drive for about 18 months now. I'm still unsure if this has been caused by a drug for hair loss called Propecia (finasteride), because lowered sex drive is a side effect of this drug. However, I stopped propecia 18 months ago, and my sex drive is still worse than ever. After seeing a bunch of doctors and doing blood tests, all doctors have said I am healthy and that this is psychological. Before my sex drive disappeared, I was the horniest person on earth. I was masturbating at least twice a day, and having sex with women was never a problem.I never preferred porn to real sex, but I would spend hours everyday watching porn. Even then I could ejaculate and have sex multiple times a day. I've been watching porn since I was like 12.

However, I noticed I started having erectile problems and low sex drive when having sex with my girlfriend at that time back in summer 2007. I immediately blamed the propecia drug, but doctors couldn't find anything hormonally or physically wrong.

Since then, I have found many claims that porn can desensitize you. Although porn had never affected my sex drive and performance with real women for all my life, I noticed I was watching increasingly graphic porn to get aroused. They call this "escalation" for porn addicts. I never once thought that too much porn could be unhealthy or lower my threshold for becoming aroused until I read all these stories of porn overuse.

LATER: Hey guys, turns out all my sex drive issues that I mentioned above were not actually related to the drug propecia.

They were related to porn abuse. I became highly desensitized to porn since I watched it so constantly for so many years. I've now been battling to quit watching porn. But now my sex drive is progressively recovering.


John - Fresh Start (ED/PE) - [1/90]

I have all the common symptoms of porn addiction, and that just disgusts me that I’ve let myself get to this point where if I don't do something to fix it, it'll be permanent. I've got ED and from the addiction I believe that's what triggers my PE. The whole porn addiction started off when I found out about these late night TV phone in shows, babe station that sort of thing – I was only in secondary school at the time – I would just watch that for ages in bed sometimes just watching it because I could and not that I desired too. Then as all the other articles go that wasn't good enough any more and needed to find something more hardcore.

Got my first proper girlfriend when I was 16, was with her for 2 years and as teenagers we had a very enjoyable sex life, no problems what so ever. The problems came from when we broke up and I hit porn on a daily basis to fill that void and it would become a routine. I've had a couple of girlfriends since then and have all been successful, but they weren't really that needing for sex and from this is when I discovered my fetish for oral, So a lot of the time me and my girlfriend would just do oral and no intercourse, but we enjoyed it and was happy so fair enough. Each time I broke up with someone from then on I’d goto porn and get stuck in a binge. Sounds horrible thinking back to it now but you all understand.

I'm 21 now and since I turned 18 I’ve been going down town and I’ve had a fair share of one night stands but my ED had increased but of course on top of alcohol it was even worse. But it wouldn't really bother me because I’d blame it on the alcohol. It's a viscous  circle though - you get confidence when drinking, but you won't perform as well. So I’ve had my fair share of the embarrassing conversations.

Now been out of a relationship for 2 years and I’ve been getting to know someone for a couple of month now, we've had successful foreplay together and had intercourse 5 times, 4 of them was when we came back from town.  The first time is when I never even bothered with doing a reboot, the other 3 was during or just before my previous reboot. Anyway, the first time was horrible!. Really strong ED kicked in after a couple of minutes so had to stop, she said it's just cause it's really warm so don't worry about it. Obviously I did though!. During my reboot I stayed round her house knowing g that something was going to happen but with just 7 days no PMO my erections were getting much stronger, still couldn't maintain for a long time and the PE was there but improvement is improvement right. Well that’s where the anxiety bombarded me, I wrote on my journal that I had sex twice and that I enjoyed it, and I did!. But the thought of either letting her go whilst I can fix myself, or stay with her and put her through a rubbish sex life just got to me and I masturbated. I didn't watch porn though, just fantasied about it. I felt disgusted with myself afterwards and that’s why I came on here and deleted my journal as i felt i really let myself down. I don't want to be 40 and fighting this problem for 20 odd years.

She stayed round mine last night and we had sex, I don't have a problem gaining an erection with her as I have done with other people as I think it's because I really like her and she likes me too so that just boosts everything. Just kissing with her I get a good enough erection for penetration. When I’m on my own during the day the erections are much much weaker. Sadly PE struck and we had to stop 4 minutes into it, she got a little angry this time because I was putting it off at first and she said I didn't look happy about her being around.

So here we go again, got to start again as I want a clean slate & talking about it really does help you and keep motivated. I'm facing a really big issue now though, in my time of rebooting I could be pushing the girl away. I'd like to go for 90 days, and see where i can go from there. I have to say though, relapsing makes you realise your problems more than ever.

I don't have any social anxiety, more performance anx and would love to cure that.


You 2 are totally right AND Inspired me ! Seriously. I had the same issue. Had no problems getting hard off porn but when it came to sex with a woman I would go limp after a few minutes. 1. Masturbating to porn everyday for several years is part of the problem. 2. Like I you said, Its not just watching porn its HOW you masturbate. The grip of your fingers wrapped tight is much more intense then having a condom on and sliding in and out a nice soft Vagina. Over years of masturbation I became accustom to my hands and the Soft vagina just wasn't doing it for me. I originally stopped masturbation for a week. After just a few days I was getting spontaneous erections again. When I do masturbate I try to keep it down to once a day and use as little pressure from my hands as I can so I don't train my Penis into its old ways. Yesterday I had my 1st orgasm/longtime erection.


Wow, I'm really glad to have found this Forum. I, too, am a porn addict. I actually started extremely early, around the age of five. It first started from me somehow getting turned on by women on just regular television. Ginger from Gilligans Island, the blond chick from Three's Company, just any hot looking girls from television. I don't even think I had an erection at 5; I would just rub on the bed and *** a little load. Then, throughout the years, late night cinemax with the soft core porn got me through my days. I got to see boobs!!! After that, when I first was introduced to real porn I was about 16 and I couldn't even believe what was going on!! They were really having intercourse. I suddenly got a supercharged hard on from the image of hardcore porn. I could never go back to soft-core, it's not enough.

Now years passed, and I was pretty much masturbating everyday from video rentals and internet porn. Now that porn is so easily accessed I see the escalation of my preference. I am no longer aroused by one on one sex, it has to be an orgy or gangbang or *** on the face. Whats scary is, guys pissing in chicks mouths got my pants to move. I think it's time to stop!!!! Anyway, it has always crossed my mind that porn and even television in general has had a great impact on my erectile dysfunction.

I'm 28 now and even still suffer from the problem. And yes, it's because I'm still addicted to porn. It's hard to stop, especially with the new free porn sites available. But don't get me wrong, I've had sexual encounters with plenty of women; and some of them, I've failed to plow my **** in their vagina unless I use Viagra. And some, I've pleasured really well orally or with my fingers. However, I'm really disappointed that I have a hard time finishing inside. I would either get flaccid really quick, or when using Viagra, stay hard forever and never finish.

I feel bad because the girl sometimes think it's them even when they're super hot. I feel like I'm psychologically damaging them and myself. I'm even afraid I can't have any kids because of it. Anyway, I'm glad to find this forum and hope we can all get through it together. Then maybe in the future we can get our girls and make our own orgy. haha


Hey guys

Hi everyone, just starting out here today. I've had some setbacks and previous failures in past relationships due to erectile problems. I never thought that porn could be the reason until I stumbled upon this site 10 days ago. Read a lot of what everyone has gone or been going through and something clicked in my head. So I decided to take the 90 day challenge/reboot not only for the obvious reason to have a better sex life but to also live a better life. I'm now 10 days in( no P no M, no nada) and feel great  :) kinda funny considering my girlfriend and I broke up two days in. But that's another story, anyways I also quit smoking and drinking. I really think its great that this website and info exist, that we can all support each other. If anyone has any advice/tips on a successful reboot that'd be great. Thanks for your time, have great day guys and remember everydays a victory!


Wow! This cause is not mentioned anywhere on any ED information sites. I am pretty certain this is my problem exactly. I am going to quit porn and batting off for 2 weeks and see how that goes. I don't think any of you guys should worry, I'm 23 and having these issues. We cant all have physical issues. It's definitely the porn!!! Be strong with your will power to stop!!


Thank you all so much for posting your experiences, I have had the same experience with watching porn and the continuous masturbation for like over 13 years. Previously I was a virgin up to the age of 23, when I first tried to have sex and couldn't keep it up it's like I just lost interest.

Spontaneous erections were a thing of the past but I however could get them while watching porn. To remain hard I had to keep stimulating myself and I even found that regular porn was getting boring. I recently tried to stop watching porn and I realized a vast difference. Porn does desensitizes you and when you get to the real thing it isn't as fascinating. 

I think masturbation is good in moderation, but masturbation and porn is dangerous in the long run. Thing is I only really realized this from reading all your experiences thank you so much for sharing and I am planning to stop the porn all together.


Doing it for her

Taken me a while to start a journal but decided to go for it. I'm on around day 45 with only one slip so far into my first reboot and I intend to keep it as my first and only reboot. Started fapping to pics around 13/14 and escalated to daily use until about 20. Got a girlfriend now and I was unable to keep it up. Found YBOP/YBRB and decided to quit PMO forever. I've found giving up porn pretty easy but M hard especially with my girl sexting me and sending me revealing pictures. I decided to test myself a few days ago to pictures of normal porn and got hard straight away, this differs from before where even hardcore videos needed stimulation so I guess I am improving quite a lot, still got another 45 days of my reboot left mind but it seems to be going well.


I'm 19 and went through the exact same thing. I've been in the position of feeling hopeless or wondering if anything will work; however, I'd like to make a few recommendations that have helped me: 

1. Stop watching porn (occasional masturbation is fine, but the use of porn while doing so is counterproductive; if you retrain your mind to get hard without watching porn, you'd be shocked at how much it will improve your erections while with women in person).

2. If you masturbate, use lighter touching and stimulation; after I watched porn for 7 years, I didn't realize how rough I was on myself until I started to take a break here and there.

3. Be patient; it took me one month of not watching porn for my mind to start returning to normal and to have stimulation without watching hardcore porn; another two weeks before I started to notice my erections improving (Well worth the wait).

4. Relax; if you only think about not getting an erection, you won't get an erection. Try to masturbate when you are feeling relaxed and bored, not as a way to cope with stress; doing so is only going to perpetuate a sense of hopelessness.

Hope this helps guys.


Same story. 100%. Went to see a urologist and everything, thought there was something wrong with me. Levels were fine, I'm really healthy, exercise loads, generally feel very good about my physical appearance, however maybe a few of you also suffer from a slight lack of self esteem? No good reason for it, maybe a thing from my childhood. Who knows. I think it's a factor for me. Anyway I never really managed to have proper free flowing sex with a girl until recently (I'm 30). By the way I am never watching that scourgefull porn ever again (although there are still some scorching scenes in my head that I doubt will ever leave me). Good luck


The journey has started, to reclaim my manhood. Day 11 (BETTER MOOD)

A little about me first

I'm 23 years old. Stay home with my mom. Have been fapping like there's no women on earth since the age of 13. The early years were all masturbation but later after we moved to the united states and got faster and faster internet it was constant never ending internet videos. I have nothing in my life. Like i said, i live with my mom and absolutely do nothing. Don't have a job, don't even ask me about a girlfriend, no ambition, bearly have any community college experience (made awful grades and got suspended). In terms of my social life, i am doing decent but my addiction is keeping me from making any concrete friends or get a girlfriend. I've known about pickup for a couple of years now and did manage to get over my approach anxiety and such but there is little for a girl to like me despite me going up to her and telling her that i find her cute.

I have been throwing my life away to constant and immediate pleasure. I spend 98 percent of my time staying home, watching tv, playing playstation, netflix, junk food, coke. You know.. constant immediate arousal pleasure activities.

Deep down inside i know i am not supposed to be this pathetic of a human waste. My grand dad was one of the most successful layers in the country i was from and my dad is also mega successful. I feel like such a unmotivated, unambitious soul that is trapped and can't get out of a hole.

I knew there was something wrong with me all this time. During my younger years i used to make the best grades in class and was a fun loving happy kind.

After i read all the rebooting accounts here, YBOP and Reddit i realized there were hundreds of thousands of people like me out there. And other's who didn't even know they had this life limiting problem.

After finding out about this i tried to reboot several times. My best was a ten day streak a couple of months ago. I felt so amazing. I had girls approaching me and asking me to add them on facebook/get numbers and such. It was a great time. Since then i relapsed in several attempts. I installed k9, blocked my ipad for good, blocked images on my phone and such. But i keep relapsing. I found out my biggest obstacles were keeping away from triggers and not thinking about them.

I just hope i can repair my brain and get my manhood back and be the man that i was supposed to be. I want to have my desire to achieve things in life again. Right now i have zero desire to do anything. Life seems to suck and suck bad. Hope fully this journey will change me for the better and i can come across the other side as a new person.

Thanks for listening oh and i will be updating this journal

 


I'm 27 and I started having problems a couple years ago. I narrowed it down to smoking and porn, as everything else in my body was perfectly healthy. At first I could only have sex with the help of the pill, but then after maybe 1-2 months of no smoking/nicotine patches and no porn I managed to not need it, and haven't used it ever since.I'm not totally sure what the exact reason was, but I'm damned sure that using the nicotine patches to quit coupled with an intense desire to have normal sex again was at least a part of it, and getting away from the porn as well.

Getting away from porn was actually more difficult, as I've caved into that more than smoking over the past 8 months. I'd recommend keeping your hands away from your jimmie unless necessary. It helped me reduce my urges a lot, and it makes perfect sense that if you're just sitting around and you got your hand down there eventually you're gonna be stimulated.

I will admit that I masturbated, but without the porn and with try to not constantly have my hands grabbing my **** I kept it down to a few times a week instead of a few times a day.

Anyways, hope this helps. There's definitely hope, even if you feel like you're screwed. I made the changes in my life, gave them time to develop (you know, actually, maybe it took 3 months to actually kick in) and now I'm perfectly healthy from a sexual standpoint, and my girlfriend's loving it. Don't give up, things can only get better from here on out if you make the effort.


The Obituary of Addiction

22 years old. Porn induced ED. Sex with one girl at 19 for a month. Could get it up but couldn't keep it up. Happened until we broke up. Had delayed ejaculation with her and then premature ejaculation from porn. Since then, I've developed depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

As a kid I was sad to look at. Small, awkward, chubby, plagued with horrendous acne. Tortured by other kids for how I looked for being different. First kiss was second semester of my freshman year in college. Lost my virginity the first week of my sophomore year.

I grew out of my awkward phase. I'm now 5' 11" 173lbs with a clean face and a good group of friends. I know I can get with girls. The only thing in between me and having an active,healthy, sex life is masturbating to porn.

Discovered YBOP and Reuniting in September 2011. I've been trying to reboot ever since.

All time record: 45 Days no PMO. 57 Days no masturbation (Current reboot)

Goals: Reboot. I'll count the days but there is no end goal. I'll know I'm good when I match the signs of recovering according to YBOP. I'm guessing it will be 60-120 days before I'm rebooted but I'm not stressing. I know I'll have ups and downs.

Masturbation: My goal is no masturbation for a minimum of 90 days. I'd like to give it up for good but I don't know if that is a realistic goal. I know people have but I'll have to see how things turn out.


Very similar problem, but I'll throw another wrinkle in there. I am the same, have no problem masturbating to porno, but when I have a girl in my bed nothing works. For example, last night I had dinner with a very attractive girl then came back and was making out with her and I was aroused. Next thing you know we get down to business and NOTHING. I was mortified and the girl could tell so in turn she was weirded out.

Now I have on occasion gone to the massage parlor and guess what NO PROBLEM there. It's almost as if I have completely disconnected sex from real life. What happened last night also came after 10 days of no porn and no masturbation. I am absolutely terrified I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life. I realize 99% of it is me just dwelling on it in the moment, but I cant get my head past it.

I guess pills are an option, but I fear becoming reliant on them. I am really scared and embarrassed. The worst part is the fear and shame just build up in my head so when the opportunity presents itself that's all I can think about.


I was in the same boat as most everyone here. I became hooked on internet porn and was unable to keep an erection when attempting intercourse with an actual woman. This shocked me into stopping my daily porn/masturbation cold turkey, as I knew that sex with a real woman was no longer a big enough kick to get me excited. After a week of cold turkey I tried again with her and another no go. I faked a bad headache and went home.

One week later, after almost 3 weeks of zero porn/masturbation, I felt that this was going to possibly be my last chance with this woman. I was really stressing out. I was really expecting that going cold turkey this long would leave me horny as hell, but actually I felt just the opposite - like I just wasn't interested any more. Maybe my libido was shot.

Anyway, the morning of the big day I started fantasizing about having sex with this woman - like we were really doing it, what it would actually feel like. I felt the old juice coming back if you know what I mean. I worked on it throughout the day. I was still nervous that night, but I'd built my desire for her and when the time came I was really wanting her (not some DDD porn star) - and I performed! 

Needless to say, I'm totally done with porn and I have to say that I don't seem to miss it at all. Just get that **** out of your life!


Re: 90 days- I will do it (day 61).."Relapsed"..starting my counter over.(DAY30)

So for the past 7 months I have been suffering from ED.  I started to research online and today I was led to this site while watching a youtube video about porn induced ED.  I was surprised when I came to the realization that I most likely have been a porn/internet addict for around 10 years.  I spent a while thinking about my past and realized that I had in fact spent hours a day watching porn while growing up.  I started watching internet porn in around grade 6 and my habits got progressively worse as I went through high school and college.  During this time I was also addicted to an online game where I would often spend 14 hours a day playing.  My life consisted of school, games, and porn for the better part of my youth.  It got to the point where I would be searching through porn for hours a day, sometimes numerous times a day (upwards of 5 times a day fapping (not sure of the appropriate terminology to use lol)).    Not only did this affect my mood and drain my energy, but I wasted so much time when I could have been out with friends or learning a new hobby. 

I never really thought about the affect this has had on my life until today, and I never thought it was a problem until I started to suffer from ED. 

A bit about my past sexually....I have had numerous girlfriends growing up despite my addiction and there was never any issues.  I would be able to "perform" for hours, sometimes many times a day.    There were a few times that I recall getting "bored" and would rather watch porn than be with my gf...this has happened with a few of my past gfs, and would then start the cycle of spending hours a day watching porn. 

Fast forward to 7 months ago...I met a girl and the ED problems started.  I thought maybe it was due to stress, since it happened right in the middle of exam week.  I also thought it could be due to sleep apnea.  I was recently diagnosed and heard of some people suffering from ED as a result.   After getting treatment for both, I am thinking it may be due to the internet porn, and even if its not I have realized I will benefit from curing my porn addiction either way...I also am seeing a urologist in 2 months so hopefully results will occur before then.  I was also prescribed cialis and viagra...neither had a strong effect, I was only able to get 60-70% wood on both.

Coincidentally, I had started a no porn/fap break to see if it would help after reading it somewhere online.  I had managed to last 5 days.  during those first few days I was a wreck.  I felt insanely horny and fidgety/shaky. Also my anxiety was a bit higher.  Oh, I also have suffered from social anxiety disorder for over 10 years, which apparently is common for people with this porn addiction.  So it will be interesting to see if this has any effect on that.

I will be starting day 1 tomorrow, with no porn/touching for AT LEAST 90 days.  I am also single now so I won't have the added stress of being ashamed that I can't please my partner.   The girl I was with when the ED started, cheated on me with her ex.  I thought maybe I could trust her when she said "it was ok" that I was having ED problems, but I knew it was inevitable, especially at our age (23).


Wow! I have never been able to relate to someone with my problem until now! I've never had problems with getting girls I just always had problems when it came to sex. I had a girlfriend when i was 14-16 years old and I used to be able to have sex with her anytime i wanted. 

Then after that I didn't have another chance to have sex til i was 18. In the mean time i spent a lot of time watching porn, getting more and more intense as time passed. At 18 i found a new girlfriend. We tried again and again with no success. Sadly I even broke up with her because I simply couldn't get aroused during sex even though i knew she was hot.

After that I tried having sex with a number of girls all without success. (This is when i realized the problem was me not the girl). Last summer i went out with another girl who i knew wasn't going to turn into anything but she was gorgeous. We tried to have sex a lot and i could only achieve an erection for 5 or 10 mins. at most if i was lucky. She was very understanding of my problems and used to make excuses for me like i was too drunk or i had a physical problem but i knew none of those were the case.

I would really become depressed when we tried again and again and nothing would happen. I mean if i couldn't get it up for a girl like this i thought i never would be able to. I'm now 20 years old and I've had so many embarrassing moments i couldn't tell you. I truly believe my problems are because my **** and mind are just used to watching porn and my own hand.

After reading this and realizing you all are going through the same problem as me and some of you have had success after stopping I've decided I'm going to stop watching porn altogether and try as hard as i can to master bate a little as possible. I really hope this works!


21yo, Delayed Ejaculation with sometimes ED - My Floppy Journey!!!

Hey,

Well then, the classic "why can't I cum" or "why won't my little friend come out to play when i need it too" has been questions that have been far too frequent to me over the last few years.

I'll lay a bit of a background for you guys to get to know what has made me think I should do a reboot.

Started masterbating when I was about 12-13 years old. At first it was over girls from the T.V or in magazines, then a few years latter...we got broadband!

So I was about 15 when porn 'came' (pun intended :P) into my life and I started doing it very frequently. At first, about once a day but then when I started getting older, it became about 2-3 times a day.

Sex-wise, I was fine getting erections during sex, as I lost my virginity at about 16. However, I went through a "barren  spell" for about 2 years between 18-20 years old, so that's when I started to masturbate a lot.

I started to see probelms after this "spell" but I was always pretty pissed so I just blamed it on that. But after it started to happen when I was sober, that when I got worried.

Thats when I google my problems and found yourbrainonporn.com. I found out that my dick only words if I was watching some slut guzzled down a litre of sperm, and I knew I had to somthing about it.


Words cannot describe how happy I am that I stumbled across this. I think I'm one of the youngest here, just 18 years old nearly 19, but the problem is the same. I have been watching porn since the age of about 7 or 8 and masturbating frequently since I was 11. I have never had any difficulty getting erect with the visual aid of porn.

It was only during this past year that I'd had any real luck with women. After reading all your stories it seems like we are all in the same boat and for the first time I feel there is hope! When watching porn I get hard before I even play the clip. Yet when there's a smoking hot naked girl on my bed saying I can do whatever I want with her, my ****'s limper than a bag of sand.

Frankly something doesn't add up and I think porn is the problem! I can't believe I never saw the danger in it. I am going to force myself to stop looking at porn and try some of the techniques other guys have suggested.I can't stress enough what this thread means to me! It's just so good to know I'm not alone. Best of luck to you all!


Journal, planned 90 days no PM or Cured whichever comes first

Before I found YBOP I felt pretty hopeless. I was questioning whether I would, at the age of 21, have to turn to ED medication because I knew something was wrong when I'd try to have sex with my gf and could only maintain an erection during oral sex, and just barely at that.I now know the truth and this journal is chronicle my recovery and give myself a way to track my progress.

Currently I am 21, have been masturbating since 13ish and using porn since about 15. From what I've read my young starting age will make this harder, but that's life I guess. After reading through YBOP I immediately realized I fitted most of the typical signs of porn related ED and after reading the reports that said it usually takes someone with my description 90+ days I was pretty overwhelmed and doubted I could make it. I decided to take things one day at a time and I'm at 10 days no PM and 5 days no O. My gf had visited last weekend and my inability to maintain an erection suitable for intercourse is part of what spurred my to start searching for help online.

She visits again in 20 days and that would make it exactly 1 month no PM and 25 days no O, so hopefully I'll be able to perform then, even though I know I'm not likely to be fully recovered, if can't maintain an erection again when she comes I guess I've earned that.

I'm pretty active, I practice jiu jitsu 4 days a week and lift heavy 4 days also so I'm hoping that will speed my recovery process. I plan to update this journal daily.


I'm 32 years old, and have noticed over the years that my libido has decreased significantly. I usually don't go any longer than maybe 6-months being single, but during those periods I turn to self-stimulation and porn to get me by, The problem is that each new relationship yields less positive results when it comes to sex, and I often lose my erection or can't get one at all. 

Recently I started dating a new girl, and we became intimate. The first two times we attempted to have sex, I was unable to get an erection. The second time, we played around for a good 7 hours with no positive results. Kissing, manual, oral, nothing worked.

Well, I started reading about ED, came across this thread, and decided to give up porn and masturbation completely.About a week after giving up porn and masturbation, I found that I was achieving random erections from sexual talk with my girl. We have had successful intercourse, and my erections are getting stronger by the day.


I must do this

My libido sucks, no Ed but PE, orgasms are weak as hell, anxiety + depression Today is day 0

I've tried several several times to reboot and feel great and I then eventually relapse, it kills me - Any tips? Age 23


I strongly believe porn and masturbation were the root of my problem, and I expect that in the coming weeks my sex life will be stronger than ever. I have been open with my girl about the porn and masturbation, and I have talked to her about the plausible link between ED and the two. She is very supportive, and we seem to get closer and more open by the day.


23 years old - my journal

i am 23 years old, my problem started  4 years ago when i was 19 years old.  I started to see porn when i was 15 years old ,i usually went to have sex with a boy a neighbor (yeah i am gay) two times a week for 4 years since i was 16 years old.

my problem started one day when i was 19 years old. i went to have sex with my neighbor and my penis didn´t work. actually since that day 4 years ago my penis only work if someone  masturbated me or someone gave me oral sex. and i got the erection but only for a few seconds if i no continue masturbating.

actually i have 21 days  No PMO,  but i am not getting better but i going to continue for 4 months more.


Hey guys, same story here. Had a long term girlfriend, my first sex ever, and consistently pleased her. Years later we talk, and she still says I'm the best she ever had. I could go for a long time, and multiple times per day. I watched a bit of porn but not much. Masturbated probably once per day. Broke up with her, started watching porn more consistently, multiple times per day, and masturbating to it always. Started a new relationship, and slowly developed ED-type problems. As the relationship progressed, I continued to get depressed about "losing my sexual abilities" and continually turned to porn to get off, and even to prove to myself that I could get it up. Porn always worked.


Broke up with HER, now I'm single and developing a FB type relationship. I'm in great shape, 27 and in all other ways, a confident man. I'm so happy to have found this forum.

I know it's not a health issue. I feel like I can link the deterioration of my sexual abilities to my increasing use of, and dependence on, porn. I quit a few days ago, and last night I definitely got some random boners which is surprising and pleasing.

I'm also trying to do Kegel-type exercises to increase my control, by flexing and releasing pelvic muscles throughout the day. I don't know if I need to quit masturbating, so I'm just doing these two things first, but so far I'm hopeful.


 I feel like I'm I've been in an A.A meeting with about a hundred addicts sitting around in a circle. Honestly I feel like I've gotten to know you guys just through stories and support from each of you, sharing and responding. 

I'm 19 years old and was brought up in a testosterone fueled pack of men. I'm Italian, so the extended family is practically living with eachother. Uncles and cousins, my father and even my grandfather, all with the same viewpoint: "get as much as you can as fast as you can." Now I was raised on this from around age 9. I saw my fair share of things hangin around the older men in my family (I'm about the median when it comes to age) and from the double digits on, my libido was main priority. I lost my virginity at an early age and was commended for it. I was having meaningless sex all through high school and when I didn't have something in front of me, I masturbated constantly.

My life revolved around my sex drive. I'd come home for class, masturbate twice, then go out and talk some sleeze into letting me "give her a ride home". Then all of a sudden I had a dry spell, and it was all porn all the time to compensate. When it came to porn, it was up like a rocket, just like usual. But after a while, I used it as a tool for boredom or when I was upset about something. I started to lose my morning wood. From age 16 to just recently, I haven't woken up with an erection.

Not too long ago I was in a relationship with a wonderful girl. Model material. Everything I could've asked for, and I started having problems in the sack. I started losing it mid drive (when I could pull of a decent halfmast), calling it "over exertion" or "performance anxiety". we split back in september, causing an alltime high of masturbation, but since finding this site, I've been able to pull myself out of addiction and haven't masturbated to porn in over 2 weeks.

The otherday, I woke up, and guess who was staring back at me? That's right- My junk! I started to tear up. I'm starting to get turned on by Victoria Secret commercials and curves on girls just walkin' down the street. It's a beautiful thing. Stay persistent and hopeful.


No M for a week and a half, porn free for only 3 days. I had the overwhelming urge to "test" my progress, and looked at some porn. When I began the rebooting process, I really thought that 90% of my problem was M. After devouring every piece of information I could find on the subject, I believe P really is the main cause, as strange as that is to accept. 

I had an experience 2 days ago that really made it click for me. I looked at porn Monday morning (3 days ago). I was so aroused I could’ve O in 30 seconds no problem. After 2 minutes of porn, no M, I was rock hard and even feeling sexual sensation in my penis. I thought "Surely I will respond this way to a real life female."

I invited a girl over the next night and we made out in the hot tub and moved to the bedroom. I was hard enough to penetrate her, but the pleasure feeling just wasn’t there. So.....M with my hand while watching porn = O in 30 seconds. (theoretically, maybe a couple minutes tops) M with my hand while in bed with a woman = no sexual sensation whatsoever! To me it was a sure sign that the dopamine in my brain is only being released when I look at porn, I get no reaction to any other type of stimuli.

So no more porn for this guy! I'm not feeling the withdrawal symptoms that many report. Sleep is normal, I was already working out like crazy before I started abstaining, which keeps me in a pretty good mood, that hasn’t changed. But it’s still very early. I’ll keep u all posted.


I am very glad to have found this discussion thread! I am a man in my early 30s, and until recently I had been watching porn pretty consistently for 12 years. Throughout that time I got in bed many times with different girls, but at the point of intercourse, my penis simply would not function. I just assumed that the girls were not attractive enough, or that I was drunk/nervous etc.

 However, a while I got into a relationship with a really nice young woman. Even though I like her very much, I couldn't keep myself hard while having sex. She became very upset and sad, assuming (naturally) that she was the cause of the problem. I went to the doctor, and the test results came out normal.

I was depressed and angry at myself, until I found these discussions. I asked my GF to be patient, because "I had become too accustomed to masturbation". I left out the porn part because I was certain that she would freak out.

I had always thought that I was using porn as a substitute for real sex, when it wasn't available. But then I realized the obvious: for me, porn *was* sex! Looking at videos I'd get hard instantly. In bed with an actual woman, however, I was just confused, not horny.

I stopped watching porn for good. My doctor had given me a prescription for generic Viagra, which I used in small amounts. My aim was to get into a "positive cycle". In the beginning I couldn't even have sex after taking a boner pill! Then eventually I could perform with them, and finally, after more than two porn-free months, I've had sex without any medical aid, and will probably continue to do so! I feel so relieved.

Judging from the number of replies on this thread, it seems that we're talking about a very serious issue. I live in Europe, and haven't come across much public discussion or research concerning porn-induced ED. While we're waiting for definitive scientific evidence, I encourage everyone to *stop* looking at porn. There's really nothing to lose if you do. For me it was a decision between a healthy relationship and jerking off alone in front of a computer. Which one of these do *you* prefer?


I can relate to this statement because I'm 43.  Although looking back, there were big signs of problems I'd say beginning in my early/mid 30s, I could still perform quite well and like others it never occurred to me the damage I was doing.  Then there was an episode at 37 when it just wouldn't work, but I blamed it on all the partying I did that night, and the next morning I was fine.  But then, at 38 - I started seeing more consistent performance problems - and finally at 39 - BAM - it hit me like a ton of bricks!  And I have been struggling ever since (stopping the P was really the easiest part - its all the other stuff that has been difficult for me). 

I only discovered ybop last year - on the one hand its comforting to know there are others that can relate to this, but its also sad to see so many guys suffering from the effects of long term PMO.  But man - if you are 20 years old - your brain is still developing and you are still growing - you have "caught" things before its too late. 

I know they say younger guys take longer to recover - but man I've been fighting this 4 years and sometimes I feel like I've made no progress.  Harder to teach an old dog new tricks I guess.  I think a 20 year old has so much time to recover - just be strong and stick with it.  What's so ironic is that I'm now at a point in my life where I can afford to travel, do fun things, I'm fairly successful, have decent looks, and have plenty of girls to choose from.  But I know I can't start a relationship because of this problem.  Its like I'm forced to be alone. Talk about being depressed!  It sucks.  You're young dude - be glad you figured this out when you did instead of way down the road like some of us older guys.


Another small success story...

This nofap experience is just getting better and better. So yesterday morning I woke up a bit earlier than usual, gf was also awake. We chatted for a bit.

I usually want to get it on in the morning but Ive always felt this nervous hesitation of 'will i get it up\will i stay up' and the general pent-up anxiety that sex is wierd. I've felt these feeling for so many years and it scares me off 70% of the time. Even when I do get it up its 95% shitty sex in spoon position till i go soft after like 3 minutes, stupidly unsatisfying for us both im sure.

This morning though i just felt really connected and just started making out. It felt really good and I got rock solid fast. We started having sex and it was just relaxed, and fun. We were even chatting and lauging at some points then getting hot and heavy ... We went through a bunch of positions super smoothly with no nervousness or hesitation, it all just felt so natural! We shared that experience for almost an hour, I stayed solid the whole time.

Its definately the most beautiful sex I've had in MANY years, and I expect it will become the norm from now on. Gf left on a business trip so I havent gotten a repeat yet but I feel totally transformed and happy. I feel like maybe I'm not broken anymore and have a healthy sexual vibe. This nofap is really the greatest gift i could possibly ask for!

Thanks for your support and sharing all your stories, its really helped me to stay on track during the rough days!


ED induced through use of porn

That's right gents, it's the terror-term; Erectile Dysfunction

A large part of me wonders why the hell i'm writing this post, it could well just result in mockery and mickey-taking. But then on the flip side there's the fact that from a quick Google, it looks like a lot of people have experienced this but due to lack of knowledge on the matter have suffered as a result. As someone who has experienced the horror that this affliction evokes, even if one person who's suffering but hasn't realized the cause is able to resolve the issue as a result of reading this then it's worth the mockery.

So a short back story (to hopefully prove I'm not a weirdo and this, in fact, can happen to anyone), I had been in a relationship since I was 18. Aside from a short 'crisis breakup' we had been together for eight years in total and never had issues 'in the sack' been encountered. For reasons that are too complicated and frankly uninteresting to go into, the relationship ended. As someone who too easily becomes attached to women, but also felt that I needed time to be single, I opted to abstain from one night stands and dating as a whole until I felt ready to commit again. Opting instead for treating social occasions as time to spend with friends and family rather than go on the pull, I felt that I was able to really grow as a person in the past year. Unfortunately as a typical red-blooded male, this also predictably left rather strong urges; urges I felt the need to quell.

This leads us to the crux of the story; I turned to pornography. At this point I feel I must stress I was not into anything weird, this was just bog standard, run of the mill pornography that I bet the vast majority of us here have, are or will access/ed. Whilst I will happily admit my frequency of 'use' increased as time passed, I never became what I would call addicted or viewed it excessively. I even viewed porn when I was in my long term relationship, but this was alongside having sex with my partner.

Skip forward a year, I felt I was ready to be with someone again. Fortunately it didn't take long for me to find someone I really get along with and, after a few dates (as you would expect from a respectable lady ) the relationship took the next step. All was fine, we had a couple of very great nights together and I was happy... or so I thought. After a couple of weeks I started to struggle to get aroused, things I took for granted such as erections when I woke up in the morning (sorry, too much information I'm sure; but you will see why this fact is important later) mysteriously ceased. My sex drive plummeted and as a result, so did intimacy in what should be the most exciting stage of a relationship. I was in trouble.

This worried me so much I went to the doctors, something which I try to avoid at all costs being a typical male. The doctor quickly understood my symptoms and even described a few that I was having, but had not associated with my problem. She was able to explain the resolution of the issue and was even able to give a time frame before things returned to normal, so what was it?

That's right, erectile dysfunction caused through use of pornography. I'm not a biologist but from her discussion what I've gleaned is that porn causes our brain to react differently to when experiencing 'natural sex', producing a way higher level of dopamine, effectively causing your sex drive to become addicted and making it harder and harder for you to get hard (pun intended) under normal circumstances.

But I had stopped watching porn as soon as I started seeing this new girl and at first things were fine, this made no sense? Surely I should have become MORE excitable? This brings me to the cure and the horrifying 'come down':

Quit porn, cold turkey. Sounds simple right? It turns out the effects of the come down can be surprising:

First few days - Massive sex drive.Symptoms - Horny, horny, horny
Generally no problems will present in the first few days, you will however be incredibly horny which seems logical due to removing pornography from your life. Arousal and intercourse aren't an issue.

Second week - Complete shut downSymptoms - Complete loss of sex drive, depression, anxiety (all three quoted from doctor)
This is the one that shocked me. Many people have the experience of your sex drive completely shutting off; you no longer get aroused physically, despite still very much wanting to have sex. This is the point where I realized there was a problem. Instinctively you feel the need to turn to pornography to regain your sex drive, this is exactly the wrong thing to do as you return to square 1.

Up to 8 weeks - full recovery.Symptoms - Return of sex drive, much greater ease of arousal than before quitting.
I guess this depends on the level of your porn use and the extent of the duration, but many seem to state that 8 weeks porn free will see you back to having the sex drive of a horny teenager. I'm only two weeks in and have got past the 'complete shut down' and feel my return to form approaching. Apparently once you're back on form, resuming watching porn at a much reduced rate will not cause problems, but returning to high frequency use will see you needing to get your high density dopamine fix in no time.

So why not just continue using porn and resume an active sex life without the fuss? A quick Google will show you that hundreds of people who have been viewing porn excessively for an extended period begin to have ED issues whilst continuing use. Eventually it often leads to men needing to 'up the excitement' and view more and more extreme pornography just to get excited, leaving any chance of arousal in normal conditions by the way-side.

A few anecdotes and some helpful advice can be found all over the net, this is one useful example:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marnia..._b_489194.html

If you're that guy, if you take a lady home for the evening and are unable to perform and assume its nerves, if you're unable to become aroused without physical stimulation, have another think about the situation... you could well be addicted to porn

/Dons mockery-proof suit


 I suffer from this.

When i was a teenager i fapped like any other teenager and my erections and arousal triggers were pretty normal for someone of that age. I lost my virginity at 16 and had one more encounter when i was 19 and then didn't have sex for another 5 years after that as i never had confidence to engage with women and i wanted to wait for the right one(big mistake as i shall explain later!).

Within those five years i discovered the internet and the wealth of porn available and i would watch it on a daily basis, increasing in its weirdness over the years beacuse it started not to do much to me in the way of arousal. It got to the point that by the time i was about 22 my erections were half as hard and much harder to get. It was quite worrying to be honest but it didnt affect me until i met my ex when i was 24.

We got together and when it came to the standing and banging i just couldnt get an erection at all, i even went so far as trying a penis pump and viagra to try and get it to work but it was awful. My ex as i later found out was a complete fruitcake and didn't help matters at all. She would have a go at me because of it and even used to say " my other boyfriends never had this problem when ****ing me".... :/ As you can imagine she just compounded the problem and sex was quite a rare thing. It did improve over time but it was never great.

In the end we broke up as she was quite abusive towards me and i ended up meeting someone else, my current fiancee and within a month or so of being with her, my problem was so much better because she never put me down or made a deal of it. My porn habits are much improved, i'll only watch it once a week or two weeks when shes not here and it's helped a lot. I'm still not anywhere near where i was 10 years ago as my erections aren't super hard and i can't keep going for too long (another symptom watching porn just to get rid of it quick so to speak) but my sex life is much more normal than it was.

I'd advise people not to watch it too much as it really does change your perceptions of sexual normality and arousal but with the sheer amount of porn around it's not easy.

Also make sure you dont get with a fruitcake that degrades you because of it! I dont mind talking about it as it's common and i don't really care who knows if it helps other people!


I'm 26 and have been struggling with symptoms of ED for 2+ years now. During this time I was in a committed relationship and my GF was very supportive, though I still felt guilty for our less than satisfying sex life. It started with an inability to maintain an erection. As soon as physical stimulation stopped, my erection would immediately begin to deflate. We could have intercourse but I was not as hard as I used to be/thought I should be. Occasionally I would completely lose an erection during intercourse. Other times I would have no problem reaching climax (to quickly sometimes), despite being less than fully erect. The worst (and I thought first) of the symptoms started after I pulled my groin playing basketball, so I thought initially that this was the cause (local nerve damage, blood vessel damage ect) as I hadn't noticed an issue before. But as I thought back I could recall instances were I was unable to maintain erections in the past but had not recognized them as a serious problem.

Continued symptoms over the next few months lead me to see a Primary Care Physician leading to a referral to a Urologist. My testosterone levels were normal, he check for a prostate infection/inflammation and found everything to be fine. This lead to a default diagnosis of "Performance Anxiety" and a sample of Levitra to get me back on track. I disagreed with the diagnosis as I had always been very confident in my abilities prior to my first noticeable symptoms, so why would I all of the sudden be anxious about it? The Levitra gave me an erection, but was not the answer. As a 24 year old otherwise healthy male, I wasn't ready to rely on a pill to have sex with a girl I was very attracted to.

This resulted in me just dealing with this as part of my life, though it certainly was distressing for me, and the relationship suffered, though again she was supportive. I hoped it would just get better spontaneously.

Throughout my teens/twenties I would use porn to masturbate, but I wouldn't classify it as an addiction (though physiologically it could have been having those effects on my brain). I think the part that really was detrimental was that I would watch harder or stranger porn as time when on to get the same level of arousal. As my ED symptoms continued (including penis feeling cold throughout the day when limp leading me to think there was nerve damage), I would masturbate to porn thinking "ok I just want to make sure it still works" when in reality I may very well have been making the situation worse. I masturbate for reasons other than being horny (routine, boredom ect), my libido was not what it used to be. Also these issues then resulted in performance anxiety, which compounds the problem.
Today will be Day 1 of no more porn and cutting back on masturbation. This article makes sense to me as a practicing healthcare professional. I am an otherwise healthy person who works out and has no physical/mental comorbities that I am aware of, so I have very much been searching for an alternate explanation. Of course there is no guarantee of success, but at least it gives me hope and a goal to set. As I am now single, I very much hope this works and gets me back on track.

Thank you for sharing your observations!

Also, all the people hating on this article need to relax. There is no claim made that this was a double blind, placebo controlled trial. They are not damning porn or its watchers or telling anyone to stop doing what they want to do. They are simply compiling observations that some young men have experienced ED and that a common thread as been excessive porn use. Further observations are that cutting out the porn has shown some of these men to have a decrease in their symptoms. The rest is theory and logical conjecture and they have claimed nothing more. If nothing else this lets young men dealing with ED know that they are not alone and I for one appreciate that.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-in...


Finally got a beautiful girlfriend but can't keep the erection?(self.pornfree)

by Climbing_a_Mountain20 days

So I finally got a girlfriend while being PMO free as much as I can as it has turned my energy to somewhere productive and real and surprisingly it wasn't to hard to attract someone to you as I was finding new ways to have fun and had put myself under the radar very easily wow! But alas it was't the end of this PMO shit as it has given me porn induced ED.

She is virgin and want me to put in only the tip of penis top as she can't take it more than that but I couldn't feel enough stimulation and go limp in matter of seconds and ended up feeling embarrassing then she let me put in more while suffering terrible pain but now she wants me to use condom as she fears pregnancy but as I can't even keep my erection normally without stimulation its seems impossible to do it with the freaking condom on!

So this is my story I want to suggest others to beware of this porn shit it really fucks up with your mind before that I was a monster even with a condom on and I want to get myself back to it or better than that!


28-years-old + girlfriend + ED = 90 Day Journey of Self Discovery

by JungleFever241 day

I've always suspected that my sexual performance, or lack thereof, was tied to porn use and masturbation, but it wasn't until I read an article in The Atlantic that validated my concerns. My trouble with ED started in college around age 22. I was fairly successful with women, but porn brought me something that regular intercourse couldn't -- a variety of beautiful women who did anything I desired at an instant.

It became a ritual for me on a nightly basis, and the videos became more hardcore the longer it went on. I still had an active sex life, but my ability to perform was entirely random. Sometimes I would show up, but mostly not. I assumed it was because I was nervous, even though I was pretty competent at this point, or because I had too much to drink. It was embarrassing having to make excuses to a perfectly nice and beautiful woman that I couldn't "get it up." After all, it's part of our masculinity.

Nevertheless, my routine went on for years, never to the point of interfering with my responsibilities, but always every night at least once. I'm now 28-years-old with a wonderful life and a girlfriend I deeply care for, and am still plagued with ED. I'm generally able to perform for her, but the quality of my erections vary, and sometimes I'm not in the mood when I know I should be. I even questioned if I was gay, which I have no problem with, but the fact is I love women - always have.


PLEASE HELP ME - 16

I'm am 16, I started masterbating at the age 11 to my imagination then esclated to mild pictures (boobs), then less milder pictures (everything). At this stage I am 12 I've now experienced hardcore porn and regularly masterbate to it. Then at the age of 13 I noticed porn bores me doesn't excite me anymore so I started flicking through more tabs and death gripping I then ended up not being able to get an erection, but because i was addicted to porn i pushed myself to orgasm whilst flaccid/semi-flaccid i done this by watching new porn and death gripping this happened until I will 16 I then realised this isn't healthy and that I have to stop..

So that's  what I done I didn't visit porn for about 3/4months I didn't orgasm either.. I began to notice improvement random semi's I even believed I could have sex but one day I orgasmed everything changed I went downhill (chaser effect) I kept orgasming and this wasnt even to porn. I lost my progress and viewed porn I'm now hoping to restart my progress - MY QUESTIONS' HOW LONG WILL THIS TAKE (ESTIMATE)? WHY HAS MY PENIS SHRUNK?  - ANY TIPS/SUPPORT WILL BE APPRECIATED  :(>:(http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/Smileys/default/angry.gif" title="Angry">


Just realising that Porn has ruined my life...

I'm 27 years old. I've loved porn for as long as I can remember (seriously, I used to find magazines as a child and was fascinated by them). Started Fapping to mags at about 13, then at about 20 years old discovered internet porn and it all went down hill.

In the past i've never had trouble getting it up even when drunk, but after I started on Internet porn I began to get random bouts of ED with my girlfriend (Even though she was ridiculously hot in my eyes). Looking back this is also when my social anxiety started.

Fast forward six years - my relationship with that girl fell apart and it was largely down to how disinterested I became in her due to porn. My social anxiety is so bad that without alcohol i struggle to converse with anyone without going red and sweating and generally wanting the earth to swallow me. My porn use has become warped. The ever present need for a better high has currently led me to develop a liking for shemale porn which is completely against my sexual orientation, and no i'm not a closet homosexual. I seriously f**cking love women - they are all I think about and all I want is to be in a normal healthy relationship with a girl I love.

This all came to a head for me last month. There is a girl i've been into for about a year now (seriously hot) i'm practically in love with her. I finally get my chance and......nothing. There she is naked in my bed and my mind wants it more than anything but my dick just isnt working. I could'nt believe it. Got seriously depressed after that.

At first I thought it was alcohol related so I cut downn on drinking. I also quit smoking (yep, thats how gutted I was that I flopped on this girl - I just cold turkey quit smoking) But after a while it started to occur to me that I never get rendomm erections anymore from everyday stuff like just seeing a woman in a short skirt etc.

And where did my morning wood go????

And the finale....even the weirdest of porn is now failing to get me fully hard. A quick google search led me a site called your brain and porn which basically explained everything. Who would have thought that porn was causing me LOSE interest in sex??

Them I came here and saw all the success stories from guys who have gone through this exact same thing. I'm 5 days in to no porn and no fap and I feel better already. The last 2 nights Ive woken up with random hard on's - In forgot what that was even like.

I'm determined to get my life back! Even this doesnt cure my social anxiety, I atleast want to be able to enoy sex again.

 

Tales of Porn-Related ED 3

A very small sampling of self-reports of various men who have experienced porn-related ED. For more stories check out these porn-induced ED threads:

 For longer, more detailed ED accounts see Rebooting Accounts and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads 


(Age 23) Three years and a half ago, I didn't know it, but I was in a really bad way. During that time, I decided that it was a good a time as any to find out about girls. So during one spring break, by some divine act of insert your  favorite deity's name, I got together with a girl. We weren't really into each other the first time we've met, but she hadn't been with somebody for a long time, so she was kinda horny and I was the first to give her some attention in months. One thing led to another and we ended up in a dark room, alone, her naked and panting and me with a flaccid dick, wondering why I have a naked woman in front of me, to which I could do a number of things but fuck. Turns out I had ED all along, I just didn't know it yet.


 Been an excessive masturbator since I was 11/12. I'm 35 now. Up until recently I've never really looked into the idea that porn may cause ED (weeeeell, if I could still spank it between 1-5 times per day, then I must still have that 'magic', yus????!) Over recent months, all I seem to have done is finish work > get back home and fire up the PC > look at porn for four/five hours, spanking it 1-3 times during that period. Every night. A lot of the time, I wanked out of routine, it's just the thing I do. I've been doing it for over twenty years, it's what I do, never questioned it. 

My last long-term relationship broke up a few months back. We rarely had sex, I rarely got *truly* excited (my ex-girlfriend was gorgeous, *exactly* like the women I was spanking over!!!) It was an odd realization. Not getting turned on by my visual ideal. Plus, I'm a very active, youthful, fit guy with loads of energy. Surely THEY don't get dick problems, surely not??? (Yup!)When we did have "successful sex", I'd do a lot of foreplay to her and would (covertly) vigorously jerk my dick to a fleeting hard-on, which I would dunk in when I'd finally got it stiff and was sure she was excited (this is embarrassing to write but so, so true!!!) It was like 'fake sex', I *did* ejaculate and enjoy the sensation but it was more a ruse to make her feel happy, it was an act I felt I had to do but had no real desire to (or maybe a very minor 1% glint of desire, but not the 100% I needed). Other times, we started off and then I couldn't get a woody. At all. She would suck it, play with it, I might get a semi-on but then that would be gone in very much less than 60 seconds. And then she would think there was a problem with her, her attractiveness/looks (there wasn't, like I said, twas a goddess) and I would feel there was *definitely* a problem with me (there is).

She was the first girl I was ever with, I was bullied at school, became withdrawn as a result, kept myself to myself and was a late starter, was a prolific, excessive masturbator long before I met her. There were probably only *two* spontaneous occasions in the early days when I TRULY made love to her without jerking it a bit before entry. I surprised myself, I was really good(!) But only those two occasions. I never figured the porn was in the equation. When I wasn't seeing her, I'd be whacking away in front of the PC, most of the time not really enjoying it *that* much but just doing it like clockwork. Wanking without a truly defining libido, and wanking lots for someone supposedly without libido, WTF!?I'm (possibly?) lucky in the way that I never delved into 'deeper', more extreme types of porn, I don't really like hardcore that much, it was primarily solo photosets of various women, much the same type of softcore posing that I'd been jerking over since I was a kid via adult magazines. It's just...so many different women, how many I have 'fucked' in my mind, thousands!!!!

It's weird. I don't really have a libido anymore but there is a part inside of me that feels like a 'restrained bull', like a blueprint of sexuality within me that is currently 'out of service'. I crave women but the lust is rarely there, yet still I *want* them, look at them, think of them, look at their bodies, eyes, bums, tits, thighs, arms etc (which has elements of lust). I don't want the porn anymore, I want to feel randy around a REAL woman rather than sat in front of a computer, sock/towel in hand (such a miserable image), five hours a night for the rest of my life, all alone and f*cked-up.

I'm no Brad Pitt but I always get looks, smiles, that electricity of attraction is still there but the sexual part is messed up. I have no desire to be a horndog or anything, I just want a partner I can love and talk to and spend time with but also the awesome lust I used to have so we can have the great sex to combine us even further. In my last relationship, I was great at everything else, the sex part messed it up, we both lost confidence and the whole thing flat-lined.

NOW I made the decision to totally stop looking at porn and masturbating exactly a week ago. I have not masturbated or looked at porn since then.

I'm major scared that I'm gonna stop and never regain my horniness, my mojo. I will ALWAYS love women, want to be with women, but I could never be with a woman and continually disappoint her sexually.

So, seven days on and my 'Horn' has not come back yet. Not really noticed a massive change in the lack of libido apart from split-second, momentary imagination-based sex fantasies on certain women at work which dissipate pretty quickly (but are nice, kind of like the "wank from memory" thoughts I used to have at school, not based on looking at porn). Not had 'blue balls' yet, have awoken to morning wood once, occasionally get this 'growing yearning' feel in my crotch, but no mental horniness.

I'm gonna persist for as long as I can but hope I'm not further damaging a dying sex drive by ignoring it totally ("use it or lose it???") I can do without porn, masturbation, 'fake sex' indefinitely as long as I get that 'Horn' back, that drive I have subdued since I was 11/12. Just want to kiss/cuddle, even *think of* an actual, REAL girl and be able to get it up naturally. I KNOW it's not a vascular problem (no real libido but can definitely achieve full - manipulated - erections during porn sessions and morning wood, occasional fleeting n' surprising stiffies) so surely there must be some chance of salvation (????)


 Porn induced ED, noFap, hot blonde, fml

So here is the situation, PMO for over a decade, ED for about that long too. Didnt think porn was the issue, gone to shrinks, they all been telling me porn is "healthy". Anyway went to one more shrink, put me on to www.yourbrainonporn.com Watching those videos felt like I got slapped in the face by reality. It all made sense. The theory, the reasoning behind it. Everything. And that site led me here.

As you can see I'm on a 41 day streak. Longest period since I can remember. No P. No M. No O. And im fucking proud of myself. You guys and your stories are all helpful and inspiring. Still flatlining like a mofo though which sucks. Hopefully with time that corrects itself.

Anyway hot blonde has been flirting with me to the death. I've been trying to hold her off, but she is being persistent as hell. Theres only so many times a guy can say no to a hot female. Feeling all fucked up and excited at the same time. Thoughts of doubt, anxiety etc etc. But its my fault. I did this to myself. I got no one else to blame. Face your fear head on.

I got my dick pills ready. Wish me luck people......


I have discovered something... but before telling you, I’ll explain my situation. I am 25 (going on 26), with g/f, I’ve been a heavyweight porn user since 15-17 y/o, dunno for sure... feels like forever.I used to be REALLY good in bed with my ex (like 3 years ago). But she was really open minded and we actually "played" in home-made-porn-movies... so I had no problems... but we broke up... been alone for 2 years... just me and the porn.Now i have a g/f... she is really understanding. I care about her but I’m not in love unfortunately. I don't feel the... butterfly’s.We've had really big problems with ED. She felt like she's not enough... we almost broke up.

I've used some pills thinking I have a physical problem. They helped for a while... recovered some confidence. Then the ED came back. One night I could perform, the other I couldn't. Didn't know what was the problem !!!

After discovering this forum, and articles related to porn induced ED, I decided to quit porn AND masturbation!

(I’m in my 3rd week I believe) and now... the thing i discovered:

IT'S PORN !!!!!!!!! PORN IS THE PROBLEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no problems with my g/f now!!!! Everything works perfect. Some mornings i wake up with wood... some others I don't. Some nights I can't go to sleep because I’m hard as a rock. Some others I’m sleeping like a baby... so I dunno. Hope it never goes back to the way it was before.

No more porn for me... even if the urges are huge !!!

It pisses me off that I’m not in love right now... i saw a chick today... maaaan she was HARDCORE !!! ...why did I want her more and my gf less ? ...yeah I know. It's porn again ! :(

Anyways, if you have doubts: IT IS PORN !!! so stop it !!!


I thought I was too. Late 20's, overweight, virgin, never even had a girlfriend.

I would PMO three times a day, every day.

A few months ago I read about NoFap and I laughed. I thought "why would anybody do that!? Why would I stop jerking off? I'm STILL not gonna get laid, and I will have denied myself for nothing."

But then it happened. I went to a party, met a girl, took her back to my room....and I couldn't get it up. All my life I had waited for this moment. I actually thought that all of my PMOing would make me a stud. I could last a long time, I could go a few times in a row.

But now I had a gorgeous naked woman in bed and I couldn't do it.

For me that was it. I was done with porn and jerking off. I haven't done either since that night, and I don't plan to.

I'm really hoping that my story will save somebody from the humiliation that I experienced. You are NOT forever alone. Eventually it will happen.

You probably think that there is NO way you would have an ED problem. You're horny all the time! And like me, you probably think that PMOing all the time means that you will get super hard and be awesome in bed, when it actually means the opposite. Don't let ED and PMO ruin it for you!

Solve the problem now so that you do not waste your opportunity when it comes!


 Age 22, healthy, just want to cure ED

Day 20:

So I have been reading a lot of people's stories on here and I have been so happy and relieved that no PMO has really cured porn induced ED in many people. There have been a few times where I have tried to have sex with woman and I stayed 100% hard the whole time and even like 4-5 times in one night and there have been a few times where I have either not been able to get hard or went soft after a minute or 2 of penetration. This has traumatized me ever since it happened the first time I tried to have sex and it happened.

 For the past few months, I have relied on boner pills from the store to stay hard and while they do work, they are expensive and they work TOO well and it takes me forever to cum when using them. I stumbled across YBOP a few weeks ago and immediately decided I will stop PMO. I have been free of porn and masturbation for 20 days now but I have had sex during my first week of the no PMO and used pills to not go soft. Also I had sex like 2 days ago without the pills and I was able to remain 85% hard most of the time but nowhere where I'd like to be hardwise. I don't go out looking for sex these were just examples of girls I already knew wanting to have sex.

ABOUT ME

I am 22 years old and I am an intelligence analyst for the Army National Guard, I go to a University, and I work as a security guard. I go to the gym regularly and I am in pretty good shape. I have been masturbating for as long as I remember. Not to hardcore porn until about 15 and ever since then just as much as any other young guy with access. Just like other guys with this issue I got into more hardcore stuff and I got REALLY into trannies. One of the girls I had sex with after starting PMO was a tranny and she's not a prostitute just a fuck buddy. Like I said in my subject, my main goal is TO CURE ED. If I feel better etc great but my main goal is to improve libido and get and stay 100% hard every time I have sex. I'm not going to relapse as far as watching porn and wacking off but how are you gonna turn sex down? Fuck that

I have enjoyed everybody's stories and I hope I can get some comments and support as well. BTW underdog your journal has been hilarious man


LINK - Hello, im new to this forum, nice to meet you all, and i hope everyone gets over their ED. I'll get straight to it, I have ED. I cannot maintain an erection without constant stimulation, however if i look at porn, I instantly get erect and it will stay without stimulation, hence I believe the problem is porn. Im 20 years old, and at university which is full of pussy I just want to fuck, but can't and it is very stressful and can get me down alot. I have social anxiety, and dont feel like going out and mingling as much.

I have been checked up by the doctor also, my prolactin is high which can cause ED, which I am having checked again, however the fact that I can become erect through just looking at porn makes me believe Im healthy physically, plus I do get weak morning erections which is a sign of nothing wrong.

I did also used to masturbate in a prone position, which can lead to TMS, however I have overcome this about 6 months ago, however this can lead to nerves being damaged and cause ED, however again, the fact I can get hard from porn makes me feel the issue is porn related. (for more information on that go here http://www.healthystrokes.com/).

Anyways, im currently on day 15, so just passed 2 weeks without PMO. Im finding it easier to not look at porn, and I have no urge to masterbate unless i visually think of banging some girl (which I try not to as it can be as bad as porn). If I see a hot girl I want to bang them, but thats it. I have no boners from seeing girls, only from video content.

Im not sure whether this is flatlining or not. My dick feels smaller (apparently a side effect of withdrawal of PMO), and as said above, I have no strong urge to masterbate, unless I see a really sexy girl on TV or something, but wont become erect by this


Ive been posting on another thread on this site, but I saw this one and I figured Id post on here too. Here is my post a couple weeks ago: I am 28 and have been masturbating to porn since I was probably 12. (I must also admit, my appetite for more hardcore porn also increased during the years, and I searched for more hardcore scenes to get my fill).

 I am a good looking guy, good job, have everything going for me except one pretty big problem that has plagued me for a really long time now.Over my 20's when I was sexually active, I noticed having major anxiety when I would get close to having sex with a new girl. This would cause me not to get hard, or go soft while having sex, which obviously is embarrassing as hell.

What's happening now is that the embarrassment has caused me to shy away from even trying, for fear of it happening again.I think more importantly though what I have noticed is that I am not completely turned on when I am with a "new girl". Like my brain is not telling me to get excited down there, cuz you have a new hot girl in front of you. Its an absolute mystery to me, because I am not gay. This has made me very depressed at times, made my friends question my sexuality, and turn down countless amounts of attractive girls. More importantly Ive lost interest in pursuing girls, because I can just satisfy myself at home, which I realized brings me further into this hole.

A light bulb kinda went on in my head after reading posts, is that its gotta be from the porn and masturbation throughout the years. I am perfectly hard when I jerk off, so its not a physical thing. But what I think I have done to my brain over the last decade by watching porn and masturbating is condition it to be aroused to porn and not real women, hence loosing my craving in pursuing a mate.


1 week in - trying to hold myself accountable to no PMO

Hey guys, I've been reading the forums on and off for awhile but just now registered.  Great information, lots of good stories.  Anyways I recently started no PMO again and figured I may feel more accountable if I log some of my thoughts, progress, etc along the way. 

So I'm 23, all the classic problems, lack of erections.. ED.. you know, all the terrble things like that.... I have been on and off no PMO for about half a year now.  I have made a couple decent attempts throughout, up to 3 or more weeks a couple of times, but always end up deciding "I've earned it" or "once every month is fine"... basically the same BS excuses anyone makes to themselves.  I found yourbrainonporn while searching for information on "hard flaccid".  I do not know how many of you have had that but yea... damn near the biggest scare of my life.  That was at the peak of my PMO and my first attempt at no PMO.  Since then, my hard flaccid problem is almost non-existent.  I definitely attribute that to my significant decrease of PMO. 

Currently I am 7 days into no PMO.  It hasnt really been all that tough so far; i have gotten pretty used to less MO the past 6 months so the worst is still to come for sure.  Right now I have a few main goals in mind;

1) consistent morning wood.  I am now about 50/50, far better than where I was 6 months ago but also far from where I want to be

2) return of spontaneous erections.  I could count on one hand the number of times ive gotten hard randomly throughout the day in the last few months.  It depresses me.. literally. 

So anyways, at age 23 I am on my way to becoming depressed because my confidence in my ability to perform is so low.  I had a real wake up call a month ago...horrible ED with a hot chick ... still embarrassed about it.. Anyways, I hope that this time I make it all the way through a reboot.  I will need a lot of willpower.. I can already tell 7 days in haha


And so my desensitizing process has began, I will no longer watch porn, and will refrain from masturbating as long as I can.


Enough is Enough (My Rebooting Journal)

Hey guys, today I am starting my Road to Recovery from Porn ED. Here is my story: I started watching porn when I was around 14 and masturbated too it every time. At first it was awesome and I was erect to the point that it actually hurt. I kept masturbating with and without porn excessively throughout my teenage years preforming the dreaded death grip every time. I have not gone without porn or masturbating for more than 10 days. I am now 20 years old and in college. I have never have had sex but have been in bed with multiple woman. I first noticed that I could not get it up last year (19 years old) when this girl was giving me my first hand job. Even when I saw her with all her clothes off I could not get it up. I have hooked up with other girls since then and am had the same problem with each one.

I  knew I had a serious problem and immediately blamed it on the masturbating I did every day. I did some research and found  and learned about Porn ED and read all the symptoms and knew that I had it. I am here now to finally kick the addiction after many relapses and too journal my experiences.

This is Day 1 (I have never gone more than a week without looking a porn or masturbating to sexual images like facebook pics). I hope that writing a journal will not only help me but help others. Any support will be greatly appreciated; I know I could use it! 


I was skeptical at first, but have learned my lesson.

Ladies and Gentlemen, last night I had a great time with a woman for the first time in about two years (read: sexy time). Previous to that I was never without female companionship for more than a week or two. I had been relying on PMO to "regulate" myself and keep from being too horny all the time. This was when I was younger, in my teens. Now that I'm 31 it's different and I haven't been able to make the connection. Until only recently, after finding reddit, and finding /nofap did I start to really figure it out.

I have to say that, as in the title, I was über-skeptical because all my sex research reading and knowledge says go forth and masturbate, it's fine! But once I learned about the addiction cycle and desensitization it really struck a chord with me that this might not be the best concept.

When I was 26 or so I was having sex with a woman and just couldn't keep it up. I was mortified and couldn't figure out why it would have happened. I have since had it happen a couple of other times, and even without condoms. That's when I knew there was something seriously awry.

Since then I have not really been into going out looking for women, blaming it on my living situation and moving to a new country. Two years later and it's obvious that really, it's because I've been a fapping hermit and gotten fake satisfaction.

Fast forward to today and I told myself that I'd give nofap a go for a few weeks and see what happens. Well what happened is that I have been back to my old self, talking and socializing as normal, and I met a great girl the other day! I fapped two days ago and it nearly sabotaged the entire sexual encounter.

I know if I hadn't fapped I would have been a stallion, but instead it was maybe a 40-60 percent effort on my body's part. I had to use the Ron Jeremy grip and it was almost a disaster. Now I know what I need to do to break that addiction cycle and reset everything. Nofap is instrumental to my future success. Thanks /nofap for getting this information out there!

Also, this is my first reddit post so I hope I've been proper in formatting, flow, etc. Cheers.


Already gone 12 days. I am rebooting the hardwired in my mind, I know it will be tough, but to me I have tried everything else (Viagra, Cialis, hypnosis with a psychiatrist, etc). It's kinda funny, because I always thought that this way a problem deep down inside of me that I had no control over, but I finally feel like there's hope that I can gain control over this situation. This feels right honestly I only wish I had discovered this 10 years ago. I will check this site from now on and give you all updates.


To be addiction free!

I am a dutch, 23 years old guy that has been suffering from quite some addictions.

I'm now busy defeating the last one: Porn.

I will start with telling about how I grew up and how I got into a porn addiction. I don't remember everything exactly but I'll try to write it down as good as possible.

I grew up in a home where sex was a taboo. There was hardly ever a conversation about sex in the presence of my parents, if there was, it would always be "You can't have sex until you're married". When I was still a kid, we would go to the birthday of my aunt, uncle or their daughter. My 2 sisters, 1 brother, cousin and a cousin of my cousin would play upstairs. When it was getting later in the evening the tv on the bedroom would be turned on and we would watch erotics together. Those were my first times getting in contact with artificial forms of sex.

When I was growing older I started to became obsessed with sex. Whenever my parents or a friends parents weren't home we would watch erotics on the tv or watch bikini magazines and masturbate to it (even though we were too young to ejaculate). This started at about 10 years of age. I used to sneak up a book to my bedroom which contained lots of clothing products which you could order. I looked at the bikini, lingerie and sex products and masturbate to it.

When I was about 13 years old I went to high school, in this time my parents had a computer in their bedroom on which occasionaly played videogames and surf the internet. Once a week I would be home alone after school, my mom and dad were both working and my brother and sisters were all at school. That was when I first came in contact with internet erotics. In that year I had my first ejaculation, it was after a shower and I just kept wanking until I came.

After about a year I came in contact with porn and it immediately grabbed me. I was amazed by how it made me feel and watched it every week. I was cought 2 times by my dad because I forgot to delete the history, I promised not to do it again. I would stay off for about 2 weeks and then fall back to my old habit. My ability to clear the tracks behind me were improving, I was a kid that was fairly good with computers.

In school I was fairly populair, I had many friends and lots of girls wanted to be my girlfriend. I always tried to go further than just kissing and it frustrated me that the girls didn't want to go that far yet.

In this time I also started smoking weed. When I was about 16 years old I for the first time suffered from ED, a girl gave me a bj but she wasn't very good at it, I just couldn't get hard. I never texted or called her again after that night because I blamed her for being realy bad That same year I was hooking up with a girl which was pretty hot. She was a couple years older than me and I was at her place some day. She was laying on top of me and we were kissing and dry humping a little bit, I found it strange I couldn't get hard.

In my head I blamed her for being too heavy and thus wasn't able to get erect. When I was 17 years old everything was going down hill. I was pretty addicted to marijuana and smoked it almost every day.

I used porn 2 to 3 times a week (whenever I was home alone) and I was addicted to gaming as well.

In that year I had my first encounter with drugs (Amphetamine) and it was AMAZING! At home it was a complete mess. My oldest sister had BPD, my brother confessed my parents that he was gay and my other sister was pregnant at 18 yo. My parents are very religious so it was too much for them too take. They completely forgot about me and I was using more drugs and porn.

When I was 18 years old I had a girlfriend who was 21 years old. We often used drugs together, I didn't smoke weed as often as I used to cause it drove me crazy so I was doing XTC, amphetemine and cocaine. We had oral sex, I didn't have ED whenever she gave me oral or a handjob.

We turned around and I tried to penetrate her. I couldn't realy get it in and I lost the erection.. That was how I lost my virginity.

The second time we tried it it was the same story. Eventually we broke up. I then had my first realy relationship with a girl I was truly in love with. We were together for 6 months, I hardly used drugs in this time because of her. She never gave me oral or a handjob while I did do so to her, it frustrated me but I didn't dare talking about it.

We tried to have sex I think 2 times but I just couldn't get erect after more than an hour of foreplay. I told her it was the nerves because I was so attracted to her but in my head I blamed her for not doing anything to me. She cheated on me and I broke up with her, it was devestating and my life went down hill once again.

My parents were living in another country and I was living with my sister, her bf and their 1 yo kid. I often got into fights with her bf and we didn't realy talk to eachother anymore. I couldn't get a job because I had lots of migraine, I used drugs every weekend and porn almost every day. Since then I didn't realy have a girlfriend anymore and if I was with a girl I would always make up excuses to not get anywhere further than kissing. I was grown afraid of it.

I've been there for more than 2 years and been in therapy for ADD. I was able to stay away from drugs but I did abuse my ritalin at least once a week. I would drink a lot, snort some ritalin and watch porn, it gave me an incredible high. My ED became stronger, I developed social anxiety, had lots of migraine, was a porn addict and a game addict.

I only went out to work, besides that I was in my room, sitting in front of the computer. My porn use escelated, anal wouldn't do it anymore so it became bukkake or puke or violation porn. It made me feel sick when I was done, I would always immediately close it down and delete what I had downloaded.

Sometimes I went out, if I did I would go to bars with hookers, I twice tried to have sex with a hooker to test if I was having ED.. I did. The first time was okay, I got soft every now and then during sex and I just couldn't cum.

The second time I couldn't get erect, let alone stay it. I found it strange that I was able to get erect when I got home afterwards and rubbed it off while watching porn. I was growing older and at the age of 22 I was able to stop abusing ritalin so often, and I found out porn was causing my ED. I was reading up on how to overcome anxiety, achieve goals, etc.

I could get off porn for a couple of days until falling back again. I got a job, started studying again and met my current girlfriend. We knew eachother for years and both have a history with drugs. We were both abusing ritalin like once a month, she was worse than me though. We were both trying to quit, I succeeded at first and she followed a couple of months later.

I got newsletters from a site that gave me advice on flirting and getting in contact with girls, it told me to stop being a wanker and go and get things done, it had a link to yourbrainonporn.com.

Everything became crystal clear for me! It was what has been ruining my life for years and years and I finally had the willpower to stop using. at the beginning of november 2011 I started my reboot. I've had relapses, relapses and more relapses. It is by far the hardest addiction I've ever fought! Alcohol, ritalin, amphetamine, weed, xtc and smoking were easy compared to this. Gaming and cocaine were harder to beat but still not near as hard as porn.

I've told my girlfriend about the porn addiction, she was very understanding and helpfull. We hadn't had sex yet because she was having intimacy problems as well. I would go for 3 to 4 weeks without porn, relapsing, relapsing again due to chaser, relapsing again and then starting a new streak to go for 3 to 4 weeks without porn and masturbation again.

A while ago I had a month, relapsed due to the chaser of a wet dream (the first one in my life!) and started a new streak of 2 weeks, relapsed again and it was hard to start a new streak since I made my computer filter free. I did this because I was afraid I would binge like mad If I ever got a new computer or phone.I was determined to do it with my own strength.

I am on day 17 without porn and masturbation now. My ED has been gone for a while now and I often get erect when only kissing my girlfriend. I have morning wood almost every day.

Besides that I feel great!

I feel more confident, stronger, my voice is better, I talk more and easier to people, I finally look people into the eyes, I've found ways to do my work and school properly eventhough I have ADD and not taking ritalin for it, I'm starting at an awesome job next month and I've been running and doing push ups. I'm not there yet and my goal is set to 90 days without porn or masturbation!

I feel like staying porn and masturbation free for the rest of my life though, the energy and confidence this is giving me is just not worth it to waste.


Hi everyone. At first, when I read this thread, I said it's nothing, or it just can't be it. Then, I started thinking and I said to myself, why not try it. Who knows, porn may be the problem. I'm 24, with a relatively good physical health, no smoking at all, no drinking at all. The only problem was the porn and physical exercises. After reading this, I went to a fitness. Still, I had troubles to get hard. I was worried about my problem because it was 2 months not getting really hard. For these two months I had sex, but not with full erection, instead, very smooth. Even, I failed to have sex 2-3 times. I went mad about this problem. It just ruined my life in that moment.

Then, after reading this, I quit porn for a week or so. AMAZINGLY enough, I have a morning wood and I see quite an improvement in the sex life. I told my GF the porn 'addiction' and she went mad. Still, she realized that I had a problem and we are OK again.Guys, QUIT porn at all means. Porn is the trouble to your problems. I quit porn for a week and I see improvements. Come on, it's not that hard to quit porn. Forget those beautiful women in the porn sites; they cannot be ours. We cannot be with them, so, just look at your girlfriend or wife and fantasize having a good sex with her, not with the Internet porn-stars.


Today victory over self of yesterday

I am a 22 year old man who has compulsively masterbated to internet porn for 10 years. Porn has been my way of relieving tension and coping with stress. HoweverI have realized the cost of my addiction has become too much for me to go on like this

I am a very good looking and athletic individual who has little trouble clicking with women. However whenever things become sexual I always have difficulty performing no matter how attractive they might be. I came across ybop recently and realized that I sufer from porn induced ed. Its time for me to end this suffering, enjoy healthy sexuality, and reap the rewards of a rebooted brain.


I think it will be a good idea for me and my progress to post here and discuss this problem regularly with other people. I'm a 20 year old guy, I'm quite attractive, work out a lot and have a fairly stress-free life. I've been masturbating since I was 11 and have been masturbating to porn since I was about 15. The type of porn got gradually more hardcore to a point where only some really intense stuff would satisfy me.When I was 19 I had my first sexual encounter with a woman and I noticed a problem that I (obviously) had not encountered before; I was having the greatest difficulty getting an erection. She was a very attractive girl but the only way for me to get hard was for her to jack me off. Then when I was inside her I would just go soft again and that would be it.

Now it is time for a change. I am going to abstain from porn and masturbation for as long as it will take me to regularly get hard during the day (know when you see a pretty girl and you start getting hard, yeah that's what I want to feel again). I am going to post some updates on how my progress is going and what effects I am feeling so far.Progress as of now: I am 4 days in to my abstinence program and am having some positive but also negative effects. On the positive side; I'm getting morning wood again and I had an erection in the shower while thinking about a girl I met in a shop. The negative effects are: restlessness, craving for porn (and maybe even more a craving to masturbate) and I am having some light headaches.


Addicted to Everything

Very glad I found this site. It was a major eye opener to the overall mental picture. I've always struggled my entire life in a struggle between the logic-side of my brain and the impulse-side. Sexual fantasy, porn and drugs of all kinds were only some of the things I found myself addicted to. I no longer call it a poly-drug addiction thanks to what I've found from this site and YBOP. I was addicted to dopamine, in as many forms and as frequent as humanly possible. I have found myself in many occasions wondering how I've survived it all.

Since the drug part isn't the topic pertaining to this site, I felt sharing this would be important as it is a good amount of back story for me. http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=174718

After writing this, I turned 24 and have removed all drugs, including weed and alcohol from my life. With those things out of the way it was obvious that I have an extremely unhealthy addiction to porn and fantasy. I can't even have sex with my all-too-patient wife without the use of fantasy. The things I have learned here are arming me with tools to help quit, so today is day 1 of my reboot. I've tried before but never fully committed to it. I can make it like 5 days then I relapse or binge. Yesterday my wife was out of town and I had a major binge. During this time I've yo-yo'ed from abstaining to binging, and the symptoms are pretty significant. Anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction, headaches, frequent urination, and just a total lack of self-confidence are a few to make the list short. After being so disgusted with myself I've made the commitment to go 100 days, one day at a time. I've overcome so many other addictions and withdrawal symptoms, and now can see clearly what an effect porn has had on my life, and I'm more determined than ever. I just need to stick with it even when three or so days from now when I will become overwhelmed with cravings and fantasies. Hopefully this journal will help me get there as I know I can't get through it alone. In the coming days I'll fill in more details about my life and the multitudes of addictions I am currently recovering from. Thanks for reading.


24 year old guy here. I have never had problems getting an erection and once obtained I could stay hard for hours. I have an extremely high libido as well, I always want to have sex. I have watched insane amounts of porn, which has gotten noticeably extremer over the years (the type of porn that is), I never masturbate to "regular" porn anymore. For a little over a month now I have been having trouble getting and sustaining erections.

It first started when my ex got really motivated to give me blowjobs, dress up sexy and take control. I just couldn't get it up sometimes even if she was doing a great job. I might have felt a little pressured.After I broke up with my ex I quickly found a new girl. She was a virgin, we always use condoms. the first time she wanted to have sex I couldn't get it up. and the times after that and after that. i felt horny, I wanted to fuck her, but I couldn't get it stiff enough to pull on a condom. I did, after some hard work, manage to finally fuck her, but quickly went limp inside her.Now the problem is that it's the same when I want to masturbate.

I tried using my imagination to masturbate for the first time in ages and couldn't get stiff. I tried light porn, couldn't get stiff. I would always get half stiff hold it for a while, and go completely limp at the slightest distraction like searching for a new vid to wank to.I am not using any drugs except for pot, which I have been smoking weekly for 6 years. I rarely drink alcohol although my consumption has incrased since breaking up with my ex (more parties).


No libido for over 3 years and the difference between most of you

Haven't heard about this site until twelve days ago, so I immediately started to join the no P/M/O challenge. Like many I started very young, maybe 10 years old, but this was in the 90's, so no high speed internet yet. Still had the magazines and latenight tv-porn, this is where it started.

When I was this young I remember feeling ashamed every time I M'd. I don't have that problem anymore, not since I was 15 or something. I always liked porn and sex very much so I was a big fan of the internet, everything was better and I was superhorny everyday, at least till I was about 18. I'm 24 now and since 18 it gradually started to disappear, I didn't even notice until one day I realized I haven't had any desire/craving for a long time. Can't tell exactly when it diseappeared, but my libido has been gone for over 3 years now.

I read some stories and recognize most things like not being attracted to real women anymore, no desire for sex at all, no lust, no emotions/feelings and seeking more extreme porn (although I don't really have a problem with my porntaste, unlike some). I still see myself as normal and really haven't acquired a too extreme taste in porn. THe problem with me is, I really like(d) the things I watched. Now, wih no libido and desire I can't find any satisfaction in watching porn and don't really know why I still do watch it. This is what made me realize I might be addicted, but then again I'm not really sure neither.


 So to sum up: cant get stiff with girls, can just barely get stiff when masturbating, mostly semi-stiff which goes limp at slightest distraction.


Being A Man: 90+ Days of Living the Way I Was Supposed To

I'm starting a journal to add steam to my engine. I started my journey 31 days ago, inadvertently.  Before that, I had been involved with an ex-girlfriend.  We slept together twice after we broke up, which was not smart, as she was psychotic.  Needless to say, I won't be having any contact with her ever again.  She is not healthy for me.  That decision was my first step forward.  However, once we slept together the second time, I went on a heavy porn binge.  I had tried to reboot before and had made it, but then we started talking again, one thing led to another, and I feel back in.  for about a week and a half, I was viewing porn and edging for anywhere from 45 to 75 minutes at a time.  this only happened once a day.  but that is more than enough.  i figured that edging was my biggest problem.  absolutely KILLED my sensitivity.  I was addicted for 5-6 years (i'm 20 now), and I worked up my "stamina" with edging; I lasted an hour and a half the first time I had sex.  she was loving it, I on the other hand, barely felt enough to keep a hard erection.  let's not talk about the mental hill i had to climb in order to orgasm.


What the hell can I do? I plan to refrain from pot and porn for a week and see if anything changes. Maybe I have gotten so used to extreme porn that not even being with a real woman is stimulating enough for me.


Reboot (22y/o Male)

I am a 22 year-old young man who has been with incertainties according to erectile dysfunction. Back when I was 19, I got in a relationship with a 22 year old girl with whom I had sex for the first time. This didn't work at all because I simply couldn't get hard while laying in bed with her. I also took very long for me te have an orgasm when she was jerking me off. I just couldn't get really aroused with her, though I loved being with her. I really didn't make a problem out of it, just masturbating at home and simply won't be able te have sex. I disliked sleeping over at her place because I knew we were going to try to have sex and I always was kind of relieved laying in bed both received orgasm by doing hand-job. After two months she broke up with me. We never really talked about the problem by the way.

After that year I got several opportunities to have sex, but turned down all of them because I knew I wasn't able to have sex. Last year I did a lot of texting with a girl. I really liked her but when she said she wanted to go on a date I just kind of stopped texting. All because of the fact that I didn't want the sex to fail, I first wanted to have good sex with a girl, before getting into a relationship.


I NEED to quit porn. Chicago's Journal [Day 12]

21 year old. Porn addict. My background leading to my story:

I found out about porn when I was about 10 years old. I started masturbating  around 9. Although I knew about porn, I always masturbated without it. Mostly because I didn’t have access to it. By 12, I got a porn magazine from my cousin. I occasionally masturbated to it, but I would say that 90% of the time, I would masturbate without it.

At the age of 13, I started to masturbate to porn more often[ about 5 times a month], but because I had a girlfriend [which lasted until I was 15] it still wasn’t a lot. I would usually make out with my gf, we would feel each other up and I would masturbate later.

After my girlfriend and I broke up, I started to masturbate to porn more frequently. At this point, I would say I masturbated to porn about 10 times a month. But I would still masturbate without it at the same rate. The duration of each masturbation session was between 15-25 minutes. It started going downhill fast at the age of 18. I had easy access to porn and a lot of time alone at home. I went from masturbating around 5 times a week, 50% of the time with porn, to 7-10 times a week, 95% of the time with porn. My masturbation sessions increased to about 35-45 minutes at this time.

Occasionally, I would give myself a 2-4 day break because my erections started getting weaker. I thought this was because I was overdoing it. After the break, my erections were strong again and I continued on.

When I turned 20. I had no idea what was going on anymore. I questioned if I was addicted to porn. I started masturbating 10-14 times a week, 99% of the time to porn. My masturbation sessions lasted about 2-4 HOURS at this point. If I tried masturbating without it, it would take me 20 minutes to even get an erection. I even started having trouble getting erections to porn. I would take my 2-4 day break, come back and have trouble getting it up. I started freaking out thinking I have ED and I started googling a bunch of stuff and couldn’t find much.

 So I continued masturbating because at least I was EVENTUALLY able to get an erection. This is where it gets weird. One day I was browsing through videos, trying to find a good scene to get me hard. I click on what seemed to be a girl-on-girl video, but soon found out that it was actually tranny porn. I was just about to exit out of it because I’m straight and it grossed me the hell out. The thing is, I got hard. This confused me so much, because the thought of tranny's before made me go soft. Now suddenly I'm going hard?I really started freaking out because I questioned whether or not I was really straight, and if the reason why I’m not getting hard anymore is because I’m not attracted to women. After googling this for about 2 hours, I found that a lot of straight men supposedly watch and masturbate to tranny porn. They also said this happened to them out of the blue. This made me feel a little better.

 So what I started doing was I used the tranny porn to get me hard so I can move on to the heterosexual porn where I’d finish. Without realizing, I was soon even watching a bunch of other taboo or more extreme porn that I never would have even considered watching a couple of years ago. I started feeling disgusting after I was done masturbating because I couldn’t believe I let myself get to this point. I just couldn’t stop my self.

So about a week ago I decided I was going to stop watching porn for good and masturbation for a little while. Well, after 4 days I completely collapsed. I masturbated 4 times in one day to porn. Then 3 more times the next day.

I couldn't believe myself. So what I recently did was set up a porn block thing on my computer and erased all the videos I had saved onto my computer. I think this is an appropriate first step.


 Wow is all I can say, I just read every post on this, and wow is all that comes to mind. I’m a 24yo attractive male with this problem too. I’ve never had a problem finding girls and have had a good number of partners from losing it at 16 to 23. I was in a serious relationship for about 2 years and after that I hit my dry spell. Dove deep into porn everyday/multiple times a day. Since the break up I’ve tried to be sexually active with three people all very attractive. the first, I would get it up for a little then lose it, the second, I stayed hard but when I think about it was most likely because it she was just using her hand which I was familiar with the feeling. And the last was a few month relationship and whenever it would go to anything other than a hand I would go soft. After reading all the posts I guessing the hand was the common connection to me staying hard. So after reading all of these stories you guys have posted I’m going cold turkey, I hope it works, I’m too young and should be in my prime, wish me luck


No more PMO; 16 WEEK CHALLENGE! (After 3 weeks and 3 days)

To give you the breakdown, I've been masturbating since about 13 years of age, can't cite it as a major problem until later in my teens, but I want to note that when I did start masturbating it was to fast-streaming internet porn from day 1. The years went by and when I had my first experience of sexual intercourse aged 18 I experienced erectile dysfunction before and during sex with a new girlfriend, even going soft inside her which scared me a lot and was also really devastating as you can imagine at such a young age, I got angry with myself and blamed the easiest person; her and dumped her without good reason. This destroyed the already little sexual self-esteem I had, attending all-boys high school I wasn't greatly exposed to lots of women until aged 18 so I felt new and amateurish.

Since then I've experienced a few similar situations being unable to perform on numerous occasions especially with a new partner. With another partner over time my performance increased, although at the start I was experiencing ED, I put the improvement down to a massive switch from half my internet porn viewing into real sex which makes sense. Meanwhile my porn use was increasing exponentially often in both how hardcore it was and prolonged use, getting older an more independent only seemed to facilitate PMO sessions, as a cure for pleasure-seeking, boredom, whatever.

This has been the story since age 18, I am now 21 years of age. Reading some of the journals on here of guys, in particular much older guys talking about their problems and their journey now. I feel even more compelled to deal with this terrible problem now, so I can have a much more happy, natural and productive life. PMO addiction has created and exacerbated feelings of depression, anxiety, social anxiety, missing out on other activities, I've lost time with my friends, been late for school, college and work and most of all the major thing I realise now. The cause of my ED at such a devastatingly young age.

 

After my last episode of ED, in which I was unable to get it up for a girl at her house I decided enough was enough, I walked home in silence on my own my head swimming with negative thoughts and a total of pretty much all my self-esteem. Sick and tired of not being able to get properly aroused without self-stimulation and porn  I began researching the net and that's where I found YBOP, watched the videos and read the material available on there, which was a real eye-opener, I found myself in total agreement both fascinated by the science side of it all, the conditioning and neuroplasticity that occurs but I also felt quite emotional when presented with the truth of my negative condition.

In addition to quitting for myself, I also wanted to help and support others and receive some myself as it's not something you can talk openly with just anyone when you're after someone to lend an ear. So if anyone at any point wants to ask me anything related to quitting PMO then I'd be happy to try my best to help as we're all in similar situations!

I have decided to quit "cold turkey" quote on quote, it worked when I quit smoking so I hope it's the best method of quitting PMO. My first attempt at quitting about 6 weeks ago I went two weeks with no PMO and felt tiny but definite positive change even then. Then I succumbed to masturbation thinking I could keep to it without watching porn. Well... that's like quitting smoking and then holding an unlit cig in your mouth; a massive temptation to start again. Lo and behold guess what? It led straight back to PMO less than a few hours later!


I wanted to post reply on here as I feel it would help to communicate with others in my situation and hope my experiences offer some help and reassurance too. I first noticed I had a problem when I first lost my virginity at 21 (25 now). I was excited by the girl, turned on and she was attractive. All was going well but I was just not hard down there. I was confused as to why this was the case and just put it down to first time nerves.Would be semi-erect through help of stimulation too but go soft when inside her. I was like this with my second partner too and worried that this was always happening. This problem continued with my third partner and with my fourth too, whom I had a 3yr relationship with.

She was so understanding, we tried all sorts to try help me out, like toys etc., but still the problem was there. I tried an over the counter enhancement which worked wonders at the time. It enabled me to have 'normal' sex, hard when standing up and I put my problem down to something physical. However, then the tablet stopped working. We ended up having tension in our relationship ultimately because of my problem. We ended up splitting up due to other reasons too.

Anyways, after plenty of research I stumbled across the concept of pornography standing in the way of a normal function of the penis. It all made sense after that, all the posts on here sounded so similar to my situation. I had lost 'morning wood', random erections, libido was low etc. I had been in the habit of watching porn and masturbating since early teens, on a daily basis sometimes more sometimes less. Thinking back, I used to use it when I felt low I couldn't have proper sex with real women and couldn't understand why I could be hard for porn and not them.

So it was a vicious circle and porn was hindering me massively.Anyway, enough of my life story. Here is my progress so far. It has been around 5 weeks since last masturbated to porn. I feel so much more sexually energetic, i have morning wood back pretty much everyday without fail. When I see girls at the shop I work written I feel a genuine attraction sexually to them, not just a logical acknowledgement of their beauty. I get turned on by little things like a sneaky peek at a nice cleavage, a girl bending over and things like the scent of a nice perfume and gorgeous eyes.


I've yet to test my performance yet but may be getting the opportunity tonight and so will post back with my progress as I feel it will help me to account this and others too hopefully.


20 years old, ED (no PMO day 41)

I am 20 years old.

Began masturbating to porn around 14.  Escalated from photos, to videos, hardcore videos, etc.

First noticed ED problems when I had first sexual experiences with girlfriend about a year and a half ago: couldn't get an erection, sex felt alien to me, stimulation from her giving me bj's didn't even feel good (and it was weird because in my head i was objectively attracted to her, but i just wasn't turned on).

 I was confused and worried, and somehow stumbled upon yourbrainonporn.com, which pretty much convinced me that my problem was porn related.  I was too embarrassed to tell my girlfriend about problem, so she broke with me about 6 months ago because I kept failing to have intercourse with her.

I have been trying to quit porn/masturbating for the past year, with stretches of no PMO ranging from 1 to 30 days, however I kept falling back into it. I am now on day 39 of no PMO (the furthest i have ever made it) and I am determined to fix myself.  I have noticed several benefits since trying to quit: more confidence with girls, lots of morning wood, better focus.

I have been feeling kinda of down lately because I have been having lots of insomnia, and have yet to fix my ED problems which is discouraging. My plan is to complete a 90 day reboot, and then begin rewiring with real women again.


Porn is definitely the problem, I have given it up along with masturbating too, cold turkey, and over time noticing very inspiring effects!


As far as friends are concerned, I bet if you asked them, they would all say they have a problem with sex with women, or a problem with "getting it up" on call. Also, I learned that those people won't understand it until they figure it out for themselves.


Ready to move on in life

37 days no PMO, once weekly M w/o P and occasional ED drug enhanced sex (see below)

Hey guys,

So I am a 23 year old who can be best described as being somewhat hypersexual from a young age and growing up on PMO.  I started at the age of 13 when we got our first computer and never looked back.  From what I can remember I spent every waking second thinking about how to download new content and how often I could get off, for the most part missing out on life due to my obsession.  Its hard to put a number on it, but PMO'ing 2-3 times daily x 10 years will take a toll on ones mental capacity for sex...  Thinking back on it now, I wish there was someone who could teach me about the ill-fortunes of this habit, and even remember telling myself to stop, but of course I couldn't.  Even though I knew it was messed up, I continued to PMO until the age of 17 when I had my first high school sexual experience.  I was pretty drunk, and was not able to perform.  The next day and throughout the coming weeks the same girl wanted to hang out, where I simply shied away and was happy with simply PMO'ing and hanging out with friends on occasion.  I didn't think anything was wrong, I was happy with just porn, wow!  What I didn't realize was that a lot of my social awkwardness and running away from problems could probably be related to the fact that I had grown up on habitual porn use.

So here I am a good 6 years later.  About a year ago I found that I was becoming increasingly depressed and anxious, and found that I had zero sex drive, whereas all of my friends were always ramped up about hanging out/talking to girls.  This got me more depressed to the point where I had a nervous breakdown and was really forced to look at my patterns of behaviour.  Its amazing that it took a complete mental collapse for me to realize that porn was part of the problem.  Its like my brain was trying to hide the fact that porn was ruining me, because it felt so good for so long, dopamine release you bastard.  So here I am, I stopped using porn and have been PMO free x 5 weeks!  It honestly was not that hard to stop viewing porn once I realized what it was doing to my life.  Previous to this 5 week period I had 4 other sexual experiences spanning 2 years.  1 time it worked out fine, however the other 3 I had complete ED and had no chance in hell.  The most recent event of ED was the most devastating, as this girl was amazing.   However in my sexually frustrated state and due to the obvious insecurities I pushed her away, and ruined a potentially amazing relationship.  So this is what led me to stop viewing porn.  As I said earlier, I've been PMO free for 5 weeks, and watching porn hasn't been the hardest part.  After about 2 weeks I found that I was more frisky and was getting great morning wood.  I felt good touching myself just for the feeling, and found that I had more time for hobbies and getting to know friends better.  It has had an amazing impact on my life already, sad to think what could have been but that is neither here nor there.  I have a fairly positive outlook but also realize that my techniques are different from someone who is quitting cold turkey x 90 days.  3 weeks into no P, M or O I couldn't handle the pent up sexual energy, and decided to try M without porn, which was successful!  I had the exclamation because previously there was no way I would be able to finish without viewing porn, so of course this is a great step forward.  Okay so what I decided was that I would reward myself every week with one M session without P.  I find this is a good way to release tension while still sticking with the program. 

Over the past 5 weeks I have also had the chance to have sex 4 times...not sure how considering my previous drought, it just happened I guess.  Anyways, I didn't really consider this cheating in terms of the whole no PMO premise, and was anxious to see how the reboot was fairing.  I had a lot of performance anxiety from previous failures so I actually used Viagra for these encounters, so I'm not really testing the whole ED situation just yet...I know its cheating but I need some sort of stimulation throughout all of this...  The first 2 times I was able to perform okay (though I know it is cheating by using ED drugs), however didn't feel much and didn't finish for the entire time.  This was discouraging, but I understand that I should expect to feel desensitized for the first little bit.  Okay, so the next time things were going better (on Viagra again) and I actually finished and the sensation seems to be a lot better.  The last time (on Viagra again...) I found that I was even more sensitive and actually finished premature.  I am excited to see that sensitivity is returning, but am worried that the techniques that I have employed throughout the entire 5 weeks may actually be counter-productive.  Masturbating once per week without P and occasionally having sex seem like reasonable things to try while stopping porn use.  However I am looking for your input regarding this method and whether I should bite the bullet and stop everything entirely (no P, M or O and cut out the ED drugs if I do end up having sex).  I would be willing to stop the ED drugs but know that it will be a much more painful process.  I initially wanted to test my sensitivity, and now that I can actually O during sex I think it may be wise to test my erectile strength by cutting out the ED drugs.  Do you think the use of ED drugs actually sets things back in terms of the reboot process? 


Yeah man a lot of my friends are probably PM addicts too! It's weird because they've also had incidents where they can't get erect with girls. Although I offer them the odd bit of advice, I tend to just let them do their own thing as maybe they don't want to be so open about their issues and may want to deal with matters privately.


Together We Achieve

I first discovered P/M when I was around 14. I'm 21 going on 22 now, so that's roughly 8 years. I've only disclosed this issue with three other people in my life, so I guess I feel like coming onto this site is a step in the right direction for me. I understand that getting it out in the open is key, and while this is basically anonymous, upon visiting this site I felt an overwhelming vibe of positivity and encouragement... it's more than just a support group - it's a real community. So I'd really like thank all of you other guys for sharing; you've all helped inspire me to change my lifestyle.

For as long as I can remember, I've had a cloud following me around. It's messed with me and my relationships with people. I've always felt like there's been a wall between me and "other people," like for some reason I just can't/shouldn't have the happiness that they have. And not that everyone in my life is super happy/bouncy/carefree, but I mean that I've always felt like my habits make me a bad person, to put it flatly. I think a large part of what's got me to this point is anger... anger at myself for constantly falling back into the same habits. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, for feeling like I'm shit, for feeling like I don't deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life. Based on what a lot of you guys are saying, you have felt the same way. So it's very relieving to read the forums on this site!

My problems of PMO pretty much peaked last summer, when I drunkenly found myself with a girl in her car. I was very drunk, so the order of events are hazy, but I can clearly remember not being able to get it up when the time came. It was extremely humiliating... it's like I instantly felt like less of a man. Kind of hard to describe, but I guess a lot of you have felt it too. And I could tell it was difficult for her too, like she felt like she wasn't enough to turn me on. She was very attractive, and we'd had some chemistry in the past, so I knew that it wasn't her... it was me. We blamed it on my drunkenness ("whiskey-dick"), but I could tell that she was still hurt. That night I ended up alone, and that next morning I ended up feeling like absolute shit. Looking back on it, I'm glad it didn't happen, as I would much rather wait for someone that truly matters to me (yes, I'm a virgin).

Needless to say, that scared the hell out of me. I didn't understand why I could get it up no problem with P, but when it came time to do the big dirty, it was a no-go. So I started searching for answers, and at some point came across the site www.yourbrainonporn.com . It blew my MIND. It's like the part of the movie where they discover the huge conspiracy theory... where things are NOT as they seem. I guess I don't know for sure if it's all true. Fake doctors, you know? But what have I got to lose? I feel like pissed off enough to really go for it this time. And not just quitting for a little while, then starting back when I get better. I want to change my life. I know it's done in baby steps, but I believe it's possible.

Day 8

Fast forward to now: Almost a year since the incident with the girl, and I'm STILL watching porn??! At least, I was. I'm currently at day 8 of no PMO. I haven't felt any real side effects, at least not that I've attributed to this. I actually have somewhat of a dull headache now, maybe that's part of it? But yeah, surprisingly I haven't had any huge struggles thus far. Based on other journals, I guess trial is coming soon so Im trying to brace myself for the worst. To update you on my status prior to these 8 days of abstaining, my PMO has been... dull. Not much seems to turn me on, at least not nearly like it used to. As a result, things downstairs haven't been as peppy as they once were, if you know what I mean. Basically I feel like my porn-influenced ED is starting to infiltrate my PMO activities, and I know that's a bad, bad sign, and things aren't going to get better on their own. Morning wood has been rare. Which makes me feel pretty shitty (even though it probably shouldnt?) But I know that it's basically supposed to happen MOST mornings, and it's not. So I see that something is wrong there... However, I would like to announce that since starting this lifestyle change, I've had wood the past THREE mornings. Which seems like a pretty quick rebound. But we'll see what happens there. Otherwise, no real changes or side effects.


I've been using porn to masturbate for the last 20 years or so... I can say it has become a problem for the last 7 or so and had increased in frequency in the last 2 years. I am 44 years old, married with a child. I have not had sex (embarrassed to say) for the last 6 years and have used pornography to quell the urges. I have to admit that pornography was a strong barrier to intimacy with my wife. 

My path to recovery began quite accidentally really... For the last 6 months or so, I have noticed that my penis would never reach a full erection despite the compulsion to masturbate frequently... sometimes up to 3 times per day. I worried that it was related to health issues (diabetes, poor circulation, low testosterone, older age.. etc.) but i just kept ignoring it.[Day 42 of no PMO] I initiated love making with my wife. I managed to get a very strong erection after some wonderful kissing and foreplay. We made love with a condom for a good while but then I started to lose sensitivity and I became a little self conscious about being unable to orgasm.

My wife put me at ease and we continued to savor the sensation. I did not climax but I also did not lose my erection. I have not been able to stop thinking about last night and I've been feeling very aroused all day. I am greatly looking forward to my continued healing.


Journey towards normal life [day 16]

Hey all, Im 24 year old student and have been watching P at least for 12 years. I started M very young and have been doing it ever since. Internet really sped up the whole thing and I've been escalating to harder stuff quite fast. I didnt really PMO that often, maybe 2-3 times a week - but I always binged hard and it has really had a negative effect on me. Lately I've been feeling quite depressed and my social life has been pretty non-existent.

I'm quite unexperienced with girls. I've had 4-5 opportunities to have sex since I was 18, but never got it up - so bad ED here. It really didnt matter what the girls tried - believe me they tried. With P I do get an erection, but it's usually pretty weak and doesnt last for long.

I've also had few short relationships with nice girls, but they have always ended because I had been emotionally numb - no strong feelings to any direction - no real sexual drive either. These failures have kinda destroyed my confidence and I havent really wanted to have a relationship ever since. Finding YBOP got me on the right track and I'm really excited to totally quit watching P forever and trying to rewire my brain to response to normal girls and stimulation.

I've tried quitting many times - and actually also found my weak spot, which is the soft stuff / images. I always told myself "well this isnt the bad stuff", but after the initial relapse sooner or later escalated towards the same hard stuff. I even went one summer pretty much without videos, but it didnt help me with ED. I still feel kinda sad leaving my P days behind - might sound selfish, but I had become quite good and finding that stuff and now the skill will be totally useless. But hopefully I will learn some more useful skills about real life.

On day 8 now and feeling ok, but kinda anxious. I've already had 2 P dreams - and I've noticed this always happens to me while trying to quit. Earlier I thought this would mean that I had failed (so I went back to it), but now I try not to care. Also seeing triggers all over - even while watching the female news-anchor with glasses dressed all gray, but Im hanging in there. I hope this journal will get me some more confidence.


About a year ago, a long-term relationship ended (with the girl I thought I would marry) due to erection problems. During the relationship, I thought it was due to work/life stress and the problem would just correct itself over time. I tried going to the doctor/therapist, using viagra/cialis, rings, kegels, herbal supplements, etc but nothing worked. I even went to a urologist that specialized in ED and he performed some tests by injection and measuring blood flow. All tests indicate that I am physically okay. 

To give some history, I didn't even start masturbating until 18 (in my late 20's now), and I didn't start watching porn until I was about 22. Before 22, my erections were always strong and I never had any problems with my girlfriends. From 22 onwards, I masturbated to porn (3-5 times a week) and did not have sex for about 2 years due to focusing on work. When I started dating again, around 24, I noticed my erections were weaker and by 25, I basically had full blown ED. ...

Although, I haven't used porn since January, I still edged (without orgasm) and reduced masturbation (to orgasm) to once every couple of weeks. Even with just quitting porn (but still masturbating, but with less frequency), I noticed several benefits:- I am able to get and maintain erections indefinitely with hand stimulation (and using fantasy). Before I had trouble doing this without porn. Also,I could do this in different positions (laying, standing, sitting) whereas I had trouble in some positions before.


- I had a couple of wet dreams which I haven't had in many years.

- Morning wood returned with increasing frequency. However, the erection goes away within seconds of getting out of bed.

- The amount of semen when ejaculating increased a lot

- The size of my testicles seemed to increase

- Refractory period is much lower. After masturbating, I can get another erection (using hand) within a couple hours.

- I can (sometimes) get an erection just by thought but it subsides within seconds. Prior to quitting, this hadn't happened in many years.

However, I recently tried to have sex on two different occasions, both with extremely gorgeous girls with amazing bodies. I was unsuccessful both times. So, now I want to fully try the rebooting process.


I am a 27 year old male with a history of ED during sexual encounters. I remember it went all downhill probably at an early age when I first discovered hardcore porn. I was into softcore porn on Showtime/Cinemax during the mid 90's but didn't masturbate until I was in 7th grade. It wasn't until I discovered hardcore porno at my friend's house and finding my brother's porn videos that my libido came crashing down. As sad as it sounds I was aroused by woman by the age of 5. I maintained very normal erections during my pre-teen years.

But when I masturbated to my brother's porno, I was hooked. I think I masturbated and ejaculated 6-7 times in a 2 hour period! It was like cocaine to me and I became hooked on hardcore porn ever since. I would download videos off AOL a few years later when people were still using dial up. Once I got high speed Internet in the mid 2000's, I couldn't stop. 

I noticed ED during my first sexual encounter but was able to maintain an erection during certain moments (using of the hand, oral sex). My first relationship, although I didn't have that many sexual encounters with the person, didn't really give me problems downstairs. I think intuitively she knew what I liked as she was very touchy-feely which made me erect without a problem. We were very close and I think deep down it was something I needed. I never had intimacy or close relationships with anyone. I was unfortunately attracted to another dysfunctional woman so I broke it off with her and ended up moving out of state. During the next couple years I would have sex and fool around with women but could never maintain an erection fully. Once I put a condom on it was game over.


Over the last 2 years I have been having ED, and it has gotten worse. To make matters worse, it cost me a relationship. I know the more you think about it the worse it gets, but how do you not. To me getting laid means getting humiliated. I know that's not right, and I am desperate to change this. I am 28, and not particularly experienced, but that doesn't really bother me. I just need to get out of this slump I'm in. I have some questions though.

 - Is porn the main issue, because after 2 months without masturbating, any experience will not be very good, or long. Is it still OK once every week or 2, as long as there's no porn involved?- How do I continue to date (I don't want to hide for 2 months), and turn down sex without scaring off a girl? They might get spooked by a guy who says no, or think I'm not into her or something. I can't see telling her I'm going through porn detox as doing any good. How do I explain myself?- The last couple years really did a number on my confidence and self esteem. Not in any other areas, just in sex. If this works, am I then stuck taking a new train-wreck? Trouble is, I have no one I can talk to about this. It's one thing to get ED once in a while, another to say your are a porn junkie. I just don't get how something that's supposed to be so natural is so hard for me.


I’m a healthy 29 year old male and I’m finally coming to terms that everything that was reported in this article is very true, at least for me personally. I discovered porn at a very young age and I blame it and my self for prematurely ending a lot of my past relationships. Even before my I got my first serious girlfriend I already had been exposed to swingers, shemales, lesbians, and everything else you can think of. And this was pre Internet days, like right when dial up was starting.

Anyways, long story short, the thrill I got from real relationships would always be overcome by newer and more exciting porn that I discovered. I thought the problem was that my girlfriends weren't kinky enough eventually. I dated a few really kinky girls, but it still wasn't quite as good as I had imagined. In my heart, I’ve always been a romantic, so this idea of non monogamy and attraction to slutty girls was always at opposition to what I wanted in my heart, which was a romantic monogamous relationship.

I started getting ED around age 23. I blamed it on my girlfriend being slightly over weight at the time, it also freaked me out. It had never happened before. I ended it with her, but it happened again with the next 4 girlfriends. I never knew how I was going to perform, it was hit or miss and it made me feel like a failure and I felt bad for making the girls I was with feel like they didn’t turn me on. I was still able to get off to porn though. Porn was always my back up, it relieved my anxieties.

But now I’m 29 and in the past year or so, I’ve noticed that I often can’t even get fully erect when I’m masturbating to porn now. It takes a long hard search for that one special video that's kinkier than the rest, just to get off. I thought about going to get Viagra a long time ago when I was probably 25.

I know a friend who uses it regularly. he’s the same age. Sometimes I get disgusted with myself just because of some of the things I’ve gotten off to that I wouldn't normally have any interest in. I’ve let this go on for too long. Having a real meaningful relationship and a great sex life is too important to me to let porn get in the way. I’m going to try my best to limit my exposure to porn from now on, especially when I’m in a relationship.

It’s hard when your single, but you have to keep your mind occupied with other things, being productive instead. That's another thing. thinking about all the time I’ve wasted looking up the perfect porn, its a shame. I hope I can turn a new leaf, and I wish all the best to anyone else struggling with similar problems.


Hey everyone, I have been hanging around the forums for a long time but I haven't posted much. I'd like to thank everyone for being so open about their personal problems regarding porn addiction and sexual dysfunction, it has really helped to keep me motivated during this process.I would like to share my story as well as some things that I have noticed during my rebooting attempts.

So I have been looking at porn since I was about 13-14, it started off with really short clips I downloaded (streaming porn wasn't available yet, thankfully). Eventually as Internet speeds increased I began to watch porn more and more frequently. When I was 21 I had a chance to lose my virginity, but because of anxiety and probably porn induced erectile dysfunction I was unable to perform. About 3 months after this I had an encounter with another girl and the same old thing happened, couldn't perform multiple times, had weak erections etc. and so began a deep depression and even worse porn addiction. Over the next 4 years I was unable to have normal sex, occasionally my erection would be strong enough for penetration but it never really felt very good.

When I turned 25 I began dating a girl, I had the usual problems and I associated it with anxiety (which I believe is still a component to this issue for most of us), she was very understanding, I got a prescription for cialis and through lots of patience and trial and error i was able to have somewhat normal sex with her. I attribute this to the anxiety issues subsiding, my porn use lowered a lot (hard to look at porn a lot when you live with a girl) and my penis eventually becoming sensitized to a vagina rather than my hand.

Anyways, we eventually broke up, I went back to porn and the same old problems resurfaced.Last year I stumbled across this forum and your brain on porn and I decided to reboot. I made it 35 days and noticed some big improvements, I was able to have decent sex... usually assisted by Cialis. But, I fell back into PMO and had the same issues come back again. So I figured I would cut porn out completely, but I still masturbated. I have looked at porn twice in the last 7 months, but up until recently I still masturbated to fantasy frequently.

 For me, masturbating to fantasy caused the same problems as using porn and I attribute this to the fact that after so much porn viewing my mind can recreate porn pretty well so basically I feel that fantasy=porn until you let your mind get back to having a healthy relationship with sex.


So now i am on day 22 of no PMO or fantasy, I'm noticing improvements and I am committed to never watching porn again, and not masturbating for 90 days and then see where I am at. I'll try and keep everyone posted. Thanks again.


CLIFF NOTES: In my experience fantasy and masturbation have the same effects as PMO. 


Ladies and Gentlemen, last night I had a great time with a woman for the first time in about two years (read: sexy time). Previous to that I was never without female companionship for more than a week or two. I had been relying on PMO to "regulate" myself and keep from being too horny all the time. This was when I was younger, in my teens. Now that I'm 31 it's different and I haven't been able to make the connection. Until only recently, after finding reddit, and finding /nofap did I start to really figure it out.I have to say that, as in the title, I was über-skeptical because all my sex research reading and knowledge says go forth and masturbate, it's fine! But once I learned about the addiction cycle and desensitization it really struck a chord with me that this might not be the best concept.


When I was 26 or so I was having sex with a woman and just couldn't keep it up. I was mortified and couldn't figure out why it would have happened. I have since had it happen a couple of other times, and even without condoms. That's when I knew there was something seriously awry.

Since then I have not really been into going out looking for women, blaming it on my living situation and moving to a new country. Two years later and it's obvious that really, it's because I've been a fapping hermit and gotten fake satisfaction.

Fast forward to today and I told myself that I'd give nofap a go for a few weeks and see what happens. Well what happened is that I have been back to my old self, talking and socializing as normal, and I met a great girl the other day! I fapped two days ago and it nearly sabotaged the entire sexual encounter.

I know if I hadn't fapped I would have been a stallion, but instead it was maybe a 40-60 percent effort on my body's part. I had to use the Ron Jeremy grip and it was almost a disaster. Now I know what I need to do to break that addiction cycle and reset everything. Nofap is instrumental to my future success. Thanks /nofap for getting this information out there!

Also, this is my first reddit post so I hope I've been proper in formatting, flow, etc. Cheers.


LINK - Believe me, building willpower can be done in much better areas of life with much better results. I don't believe that's why nofap is here. Rebooting is one of the main reasons yes, because the pain of not being able to have normal relationships caused by porn ED starts to outweigh the little joys left in masturbation to your favorite porn.

There are people who do this for fun, or for the "side effects" you get from nofapping, and all the best to them, but the ills some of us are going through are far worse than merely "just wanting to reboot."

I don't know bout you guys but the main reason why I'm doing this is because:

  • I couldn't satisfy my girlfriends.
  • I get soft halfway through penetration because it's "boring" for me. Can you imagine that?
  • I couldn't satisfy myself with vanilla sex with said girlfriends.
  • I become silent and boring during penetration because I need the mental facility to imagine my fetishes.
  • Being a boring lover makes me feel less worthy.
  • I'm losing quality girls because of this.
  • I don't feel attracted to real life girls that I used to like (I prefer pornstars)
  • I don't bother flirting anymore because I'm not attracted.

Merely saying "I just want to reboot" or "I like porn" isn't reason enough to quit. Me, I started 11 days ago because I realized I couldn't fuck a girl to climax (MY climax) even if my life depended on it.

For those getting discouraged, I have to add that I inadvertently nofapped (without knowing about porn ED) when I was younger. It lasted a few months because I was staying with my then girlfriend, and didn't wanna go through the hassle of hiding my fetish vids.

My mind still thought about fetish during sex, but I managed to cum 80% of the time we had sex. Keep in mind this is a fetish I developed even before internet. It's just that with fetish escalation, I ended up watching fetishes I'll never have fulfilled on a consistent basis, making me unable to cum while in bed with a girl, whereas before hardcore porn, even light play like kissing my girlfriend's feet (which is actually fun foreplay) makes me almost cum.

One good point about nofapping (for those with partners) is that once you stop touching your nub, it gets sensitive to a point where merely grazing it on her thigh kinda makes you wanna cum.

So don't give up. I'm abstaining again because I know it's possible to PIV easily, even after you've abused your little soldier twice a day for years at a go. It's just the "not thinking of the fetish/porn" anymore that I'll need more time with.

And that's why I'm so against porn, compared to M, O, or S. When you're nofappin, yes don't even touch yourself. But if you're lacking in willpower, you better put whatever you have into avoiding porn.


Hi everyone. Here's my story, probably a familiar one but it's nice to have somewhere to talk about it and find out I'm not alone. (LINK to post)

I'm 28. I have never really had a satisfying real life sexual experience. I've been jacking it since 13, started using porn at 18 or so then did so pretty heavily since. At most in my early 20s I was PMOing 3 times a day, rarely having a day without it except when I made an effort not to. I lost my virginity when I was 19. Well, sort of; I got hard ok with foreplay but didn't really enjoy it, then went soft on penetration. Initially I thought this was because I was reeaally drunk, but it's been the common pattern whenever I've been with a girl.

I eventually figured out it was because I was jacking it too much and cut way down, but until recently it was still PMO 3-4 times a week, a couple of times a day on the weekends.

Anyway, I got a girl back to mine on the second date a couple of weeks ago. Got it up during foreplay no problem but as soon as I penetrated it went down. She ended up leaving in the middle of the night. Devastating.

So I decided I finally needed to do something; I can get hard to P no problem, so there's nothing wrong with the plumbing. Maybe there's some anxiety there but I reckon it's mainly the P and overdoing the MO. I can get to O if the chick grabs my cock and I fuck her hand; basically she jacks me off but I control it.

So, now 12 days no P, one MO 5 days ago. I'm thinking no more P ever, and no MO for the rest of the 90 days. What do you guys think? I don't want to give up MO forever and I don't think I could, but I could limit it to like once a week. But I think I need to do the 90 days first. I'm actually about as confident with girls as I've ever been but it's no use if I can't perform! Hoping this will sort me out.


I didn't deliver on my promise, I relapsed today, and I'm realizing this is more serious than I thought. I need help.

Ten days ago I announced I would try to post once a day, to keep myself accountable. I didn't post since then. Today, I relapsed.

I'm realizing my problem is more serious than I initially thought. I am 21 years old, a virgin, a porn-addict, and, though I didn't really realize it until now, I've had (I think) erectile dysfunction AND premature ejaculation for the last two years. I had neither two years ago, and I'm pretty sure they are both porn-related.

I need help and advice.

I only masturbate when watching porn. Before nofap, I masturbated maybe 3-5 times per week. I can never get fully erect, and I usually ejaculate within less than a minute.

I don't know why I didn't realize this before, but this is a serious problem.

Are these the mental consequences of too much visual stimulation and training myself to get off quickly by masturbating too quickly? I cannot get fully erect and I cannot last more than a minute when masturbating. I have no idea how to fix this, or how things even got this bad. Is nofap enough to fix both, if I stick it out to the reset period? Or do I need another strategy?

Before I consumed so much porn, I had problems with neither of these things. I don't know how to fix it.


DAY 40

So, here I am, almost at the halfway point. What got me here? I went to have sex for the firstime with my first ever gf and I got ED, 3 times this happened until I had a chat with her and told her I wanted to take it slowly. We've been going out for 2 months now and things are going great. I can't say that it has been 40 days of no PMO, but certainly of no P or M. I feel my ED going away and this makes me very happy. Basically, bieng able to perform with my gf got me here. This is my second try at nofap, being the first time some months ago when I caved on day 30. I feel I've been procrastinating a lot, especially with school, gotta get them grades up lol. I know I got to get more active, gonna start swimming again and going to the library to study. Keep strong guys!!!


Stop watching porn has saved my life

Title a bit provoking or pitiful? I don't know... but I do know that I feel like never before in my life. I'm like... 13 days w/o orgasm, 12 days w/o sex & 7 days w/o porn... and just 8 days ago I felt depressed and completely worthless. What has porn done to me? And why am I even writing this... I haven't had a relationship since 8 years and masturbation has become totally normal in my daily routine.

Just like taking a shower or brushing your teeth, fap in the morning and again (and again) in the evening. And then pass out at around midnight and wake up, not feeling rested at all, depressed, and repeat the cycle. Why am I even doing this since 8 years, wtf?

Two months ago I was out with friends (what somewhat rarely happens since... I watch porn) and we went drinking, partying... having a good time. Until we decided at around 3 am to visit the hookers (legal here). Well, drunk as I was I didn't care much and even looked at it as a nice opportunity to have sex again after a long time. I don't have to mention that there was not even a sign of an erection. But at that time I wasn't even worried that much... exhausted, drunk, tired... and fapped in the morning... well, blamed it on all of that.

Seems reasonable.

But it worried me ever since... the hooker was very nice and even told me, that in fact around 50% of her customers fail to get an erection because they are drunk and whatnot. Still, it didn't feel right. My penis was just dead and I heavily thought about the kinkiest porn scenes that my mind could come up with. Still nothing. Then I left without thinking much of it at first.

I finally went to my doctor and told him what happened (replaced hooker with random girl I met at the club of course) and told him about my depression because of this. My doctor prescribed me Viagra to temporarily boost my self-esteem and get me out of my depression by being able to have sex with... random girls from the club... whatever.

So two weeks ago I met this hooker again. "If I fail again, it's just one girl I made myself an idiot of instead of two" I tho