These pages contain a very small sampling of self-reports by various men who have experienced porn-induced ED. For more stories check out these porn-induced ED threads:
For longer, more detailed ED recovery accounts see Rebooting Accounts 1, Rebooting Accounts 2, and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads
Ok, so I have had problems getting an erection or staying erect going back to early 2004. I am 37 years old now. Prior to 2004 I would get erect for sex with no problem, having an erection and being ready to go was never a issue. These days, I watch porn and masturbate to it or to pictures on profiles on swinger websites) maybe 4-5 days a week. But I sit there for an hour at a time, 2-3 hours at a time, in between taking breaks, but then going back to it. The invention of Porn Tube Channels has not helped at all.
But here is the thing, prior to 2004 when I started having this problem, I was 30, and had been masturbating all the time for 15 years without an issue of erection( I started having sex at 20)......... But here is what I realised. AND GENTLEMAN PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS...... In early 2004 I installed boradband internet at my house. Within weeks I was in front of the monitor trying to find as much porn as I could and masturbating to it, finding pictures online, and masturbating to them. That was a new form of masturbating for me. Prior to that, my masturbating was regulated to watching a hot girl on television, or a steamy scene on a cable movie and masturbating. Running to the bathroom and masturbating. Or right here in the living room, a quick 2 minute pleasure............ But Broadband Internet introduced me to a new form of masturbation....Long drawn out episodes of masturbation. Clicking from one video to the next until one finally turned me on to the point of ejaculation..... At times 4-5 times a day, 4-5 days a week. Going through swinger websites, going through pictures on profiles, until it made me ejaculate........ Guys, the past 7 years of this type of masturbation has RUINED my sex life.........
I am an attractive guy, good body, work out all the time.......I can not count the number of great looking women I have met the past 7 years that I have not been able to perform with. The latest being last Wednesday (10/26/11)....I met this great Asian girl, she came over. I stayed hard for a little bit, but it was gone within 5 minutes. And as I usually do when this happens, I jerk myself to get hard, but that takes a few minutes, and then when I entered her again, it didnt last 2 minutes. Needles to say, she was nice about it. But I have been texting her since that day, and I get very short non-personal replies.........She was obviously disappointed.....
As of late I have been confiding in friends about masturbation, and they all do it, and some say they do it all the time. But they have no problem getting erections when it comes to sex. It has obviously occurred to me that masturbating in front of the monitor to porn, pictures, is what is effecting my sex life and inability to get erections.........
I'm sure masturbating normally, maybe once a day, maybe twice a day, for a minute or two over time would have not affected my sex life and erections at all. But masturbating to internet porn and pictures really does cause you great harm.........
I remember last June. I was going to Dallas for a company outing. I knew a sales girl from a different branch. We exchanged sultry emails and text messages. So I did not masturbate for 3 days. I did Wednesday afternoon, then didn’t do anything until I would see her. Saturday night I went to her hotel. We were naked within 20 minutes, and heres the things. She blew me and got kind of hard, but I jerked myself to get hard. And when I entered her, I could just feel this incredible feeling I had not felt in years guys, years. I was staying hard and maneuvering her all over the place. It was freaking incredible. The only thing I could not control was as soon as she got on top of me I came almost instantly...But that’s when I realised how internet masturbating to porn really ***** you up big time.
Needles to say, to this day I’m still masturbating to porn, I did it last night for almost 2 hours. I’m looking into getting professional help. But guys, you will read different things that masturbating is not directly linked to erectile dysfunction, and that might not be true. But it does not specify the different types of masturbating habits people have. That is something that is not studied.
I'm 37 years old and have been addicted to masturbating to internet porn since 2004 when I first got Broadband internet, and that’s when my erectile dysfunction started. And I don't believe the dysfunction come from a psychological block; My brain telling my penis that it can never be as good as the porn when I’m in bed with a girl so there is no point in getting hard. My problem and the problem of a lot of others is the excessive pulling and strain on the penis pretty much just wears your functions out..
I don't know how to help my husband anymore.
My husband has posted here before, as have I once under a different name.
My husband is addicted to porn. I know most of Reddit woudl slap me with "everyone watches porn, you shouldn't care"--I didn't used to. Hell I LOVED porn for years, it was one of my favorite things and we watched it together. I couldn't believe women would get so huffy with their dudes for doing something that most people do and isn't a big thing.
Then...a lot of stuff came to light. I started realizing that my husband had ED (at the age of 30) and started to not even be able to get it up most of the time. He usually couldn't finish when we were intimate. A quick peek at his browser history showed me that he was looking at porn multiple times daily, often when we were together in the living room just chatting and he wasn't even jacking off or anything. I realized this was causing huge problems and was more than just an occasional thing and in talking it out with him he revealed to me that this porn addiction is what ruined his previous marriage.
SO I've asked him to stop looking at it, to strengthen our relationship and our sex life. If it wasn't an addiction and it didn't hurt our sex life I wouldn't care, but it does and badly. I could make this really lengthy but basically this has been ongoing for several years now and last night I looked at his computer to find out he has started up AGAIN. This is like the 4th relapse.
I know everyone is human and we all struggle with something; hell I'm far from fucking perfect. All I have asked of him, only ONE thing, is that he tell me when he relapses so I can love and support him through it and help him get back on track. But he doesn't tell me. This is the 4th time I've had to find out by looking at his browser history.
Of course I called him out on it and he's acting all apologetic. I'm wondering at this point if he really does want to quit or if he is just wanting to continue doing it and find better ways to hide it. He swears he wants to quit and needs help and clearly my help isn't doing it. I've looked into counselors in the area as he says he wants to go but they're all $100+ per hour and don't take insurance and we're broke. I feel totally betrayed, hurt and lied to.
I have tried to be so supportive and never bitchy or give ultimatums and he can't even be honest with me? I'm pissed that I've been asking him weekly how it's going for him, is he struggling and he just lies to me and lets me heap praise on him for how awesome he's doing when he really wasn't. And most of all I'm pissed that this has STILL been hurting our sex life (which doesn't need any additional hurt considering we have an 8 year old with special needs and a 7 month old who still doesn't sleep through the night). What the hell do I do? I just genuinely don't know what to do with this anymore....I LOVE my husband more than anything and I want to help.
Doing it for real this time... or rather, not doing it
After several rebooting attempts over the past year or so, with varying degrees of success and length, I have decided it would be a good idea to post on here to help myself really stick with it this time. After my first run of no P (for 2 months), I definitely got a taste of the superpowers; more confidence, "flow" through life, and natural attraction between me and girls, I was feeling really good one day, and had been smoking a lot of weed at the time, and thought a little porn could't hurt... so right back down the rabbit hole I went. I've had a few attempts since then and usually I feel pretty good after about a week, with a couple days of intense malaise.
This is the first time I've really written anything about it, so I'm thinking this will help me really stay on track, me being able to read my thoughts along the way and go back to remind myself to stick with it. The worst part for me is the drop in libido that seems to happen while rebooting, everyone says this is a sign that it's working, but it feels like my sexuality gets amputated from my body or something...
So for a little background, I am now 24 yrs old, I started masturbating at a very early age, as well as looking at porn videos, before I could even ejaculate (probably 10 years old or so) my family was one of the first to get an internet connection in one of the first small towns in Iowa to get internet access... damn progress! lol So throughout middle and high school I was very reluctant to talk to girls, even though I would still get turned on by seeing them. Starting some time around 6th grade, I was put on various medications, first for ADHD for a little while, and then for depression and bipolar, with eventually being prescribed bipolar and sleeping aid pills that I took every day throughout high school. I bet a lot of those symptoms were actually caused by excessive PMO looking back on it. I started smoking weed in senior year and smoked a lot until about 5 months ago when I quit (I had a few attempts at quitting weed before my recent successful one as well, mostly because I thought it was weed causing my low libido and inconsistent erections). I ran across the whole discussion of porn-induced ED on the internet last year sometime, and it was like reading about myself, I'm sure you guys had the same experience, many commonalities between all of our stories.
I lost my virginity when I was 18, and actually shacked up with the girl for a few months after I moved away from home. Most of the time sex was pretty good, although oftentimes I would have to visualize porn in order to keep it up or get off... also the first time I had sex I faked my orgasm because I was so desensitized. I had a couple girlfriends after that, usually the sex was pretty good sometimes REALLY GOOD (especially when my computer broke... stupid me didn't make the connection), except there were cases of me not being able to get it up which really messed the relationship up, I was watching porn and didn't really know the effect it could have, and these incidents gave me a lot of insecurities.
The last couple of girls I've been with, well sex just sucks now, and the relationship really can't work so I need to get better.
One thing that really worries me is that my dick seems to be really beat up, I mean I've manhandled it, and put it through a lot of abuse, from no-lube jacking it multiple times a day, to doing PE (penis exercises; because I thought maybe they would help the problems I was having). I have some curvature (not debilitating) and what seem like popped blood vessels, and sometimes painful erections. Usually when I give it a chance to heal, if I go long enough a lot of the problems will resolve themselves, like my erections will be stronger, but there seems to be almost a band or a series of bands towards the base of it that are like underneath the skin, and prevent it from inflating all the way in that area, and when I've had sex with a girl, it's like i can't feel her vagina on the left side at the base, like no nerves or something? I'm very concerned about this and I want to fix it if possible.
I'm 27 years old and have been dealing with this problem since the age of 24. It's funny how this condition can gradually set in. I challenge each of you to attempt to discover when the condition first showed its colors. Many of you will be tempted to say "well when I was with this person I was unable to perform". but if you look a deeper you may notice that the condition began to set in way earlier than that. I understand better than most what it's like being young and living with ED. After my "recognizing stage", you know when the weight of the world seems comes down on you and crushes you like a bug.....I began to think in a more constructive manner.
First, the natural course of action is to read online and learn everything you can about ED (causes, possible cures, etc.). Next, I visited multiple general practitioners and noticed that they were generally ignorant regarding this condition. Their knowledge was limited and knew only what their Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra reps had taught them (a bit bias to say the least). I took the pills and generally had the same problem and began to grow really concerned that a solution may not exist me. Me, being the bulheaded "never take no for an answer" son-of-a-***** that I am, decided to take this a step further and fully explore my medical state. I had blood work ran (testosterone levels, cholesterol, hormones, etc), I personally paid for a Cat-Scan of my pelvic region to ensure blood flow was normal and sufficient. I had a Urologist perform Doppler Testing on my penis and took every natural herb in the book. Guess what the result was?? .........HEALTHY and FINE!!
After ruling out physical conditions, I proceeded to the next logical step. I engaged in psych examination with a physician from Dartmouth for three months. Pysch evaluation is tough because you never know when it's finished and it's very expensive. I soon ran out of money and had to stop my evaluations. It's now a year later.....and I'm still dealing with the condition.
Long story short....."I feel your pain man". The real issue surrounding ED is that once you've experienced it you may be destined to remember it for a while. This means that when you engage in sexual activity you're mind snaps into the past and remembers what happened before. This causes a small amount of anxiety and causes your corpus muscles in your penis to restrict blood flow and leaves your noodle limp.
Good news.....I've began new work and my career is really taking off. After years, I've trained my mind to not focus on the issue. This is tough because lets face it..without the ability to reproduce you feel worthless not only as a man, but also a human being (women who have similar female problems feel the same). This process of reducing stresses in my life in association with mainlining good health has helped me regain control of my erections exponentially. Their not perfect, but have vastly improved. Like many of these posters, I have watched porn for 12-13 years and masturbated like a champ. My next stage is to cut out the porn and see how re-sensitization effects my performance.
Thanks for your posts, they've helped! I truly believe if you continue to work towards a resolution and don't spend your days moping you will find peace! Remember....healthy body, healthy mind, healthy spirit = healthy results! in a woman with condom since ... 5-6 months. So to all those readers out there down get down on yourself like I did.
I'm 22, I've had a few girlfriends and one or two one night stands. However, over the last two years I have not had a successful standard PIV experience, in part because of my crippling ED and fear of ED, which has led me to give up/find an excuse to avoid otherwise fruitful relationships. I used to and still do sometimes worry that I'm secretly gay. I've never been able to jerk it to guys and I don't get boners looking at guys irl or in porn- but I also don't get boners looking at girls irl either, and I'm not sure I ever have.
Because of my religious background, I was always scared to look at regular porn as a kid, unlike my other male friends. However, I was an extreme reader and read through all the books in my local library. Among the more titillating for me at the time were those on hypnosis. When I was 11 I read a piece of erotica about hypnosis (but I didn't identify it as such) called Sarafina which I'm sure is still around somewhere and I actually remember coming without touching myself. After that I began regularly masturbating to erotic fiction and things like mcstories.com and mountainman hypnosis (pictures of girls being hypnotized and stripping). Within a few years I found myself looking at standard pornography and I added that to the repertoire of things I masturbated to - eventually I found that I really couldn't get off to anything less than two or three girls and they all had to be exotic [although I've always preferred exotic girls irl so that might be an exogenous factor]. I find myself identifying as a sub and rarely read male dom pornography, but I find the sissifying/financial exploitation/transgender/anal/forced chastity stuff to be so completely and utterly repulsive/gross/exploitative/unnatural that I don't find myself aroused by them - so fortunately, that's not a problem. But I'm lazy in that my fantasies are usually a female led experience, and any man who seeks that typically finds himself A. out of cash or B. enormously disappointed.
I'm in an extremely competitive University program and I'm interested in academia, however I took a year off to reflect and relax and I realized that my pornographic habits were crippling. I had two turning points. The first was losing my "dream" girl two years ago after lots of bad sex. In particular, I couldn't finish or keep it up with a condom. And, as if my social life weren't crippled enough, now she is dating another girl I used to make out with [and who I had another grim experience with]. Since then I've had a series of short-lived unsatisfying sexual relationships (two or three great one night stands where I could finish, lots of makeouts I was too scared/had no motivation to escalate and a couple of times where I did escalate and couldn't keep it up).
The second was that during my Sophomore year in college I would use Adderall or Modafinil. Whenever I took these dopamine boosting medications I would jerk it at least once, even sometimes in public places (although always when no one was around). I knew what was going on in terms of the brain chemistry behind this phenomenon, but found myself unable to stop. For me, this was extremely disturbing disturbing because I'm normally a reserved and cold man. In my mind I was contrasting myself jerking it in a place where I could get caught with my teenage self who always managed to avoid (against my girlfriends' will- no less!) having sex in public.
Over the last year I've blocked most of the websites that I used to or had the potential to masturbate to (mcstories.com, rcwrites.com, xvideos.com, pornhub.com and the entire top 100 porn catalogue, and any blogs that I might potentially find arousing). I've also been able to tone down, but not eliminate my masturbation. The longest I've gone is 21 days and I really want to reach 30 - as far as I know I've never had a wet dream - although I've started dreaming about more vanilla sex with fit girls I know since I eliminated the pornography. Over time when I stop masturbating I tend to switch from sub to dom in my fantasies about myself (a few) or I fantasize about one woman dominating/controlling/hypnotizing/fucking another woman (many).
Flatlining doesn't bother me much because I'm busy all the time and flatlined sometimes after watching too much porn anyway - so that's not something I'm scared of and I "have faith" that if I get to thirty days I'll be making some real progress.
My experience more or less eliminating my porn (I keep finding new stuff to block, but it is of lower and lower quality and less likely to lead to me masturbating) and dramatically reducing my masturbation has led to a wealth of better sexual experiences with girls [and better interactions with men - surprisingly] and lots, lots more energy to get things done. I've found myself become an achievement machine and I feel like Da Vinci. During my time being chaste I've scored literally a couple dozen numbers and actually have a date tomorrow. Since University is intense and I'm an undergrad and she's a grad student, if I don't at least try to bring her home and bang on the first night out, she's pretty unlikely to call back [your experience may differ] and so I'm pretty disappointed about my recent failure.
Today I had a huge set back in that I began re-imagining one of these hypnosis + lesbians fantasies and nearly came without touching myself (I eventually gave myself one stroke and came). I think it's pretty well-known by anecdote here that if you don't kill the fantasies you won't be able to get it up with girls again even if you kill the porn. I hope I'm also not being controversial by saying that it's also pretty well-known that the (vast?) majority of attractive women love dominant, secure men [like any phenomenon, there are many exceptions, but the statistics are what they are] and the reduction of my parasitic fantasy life ought to help in molding me into something closer to that ideal. Of course, I've had to go without the Adderall and Modafinil, but it's a fair trade. State dependence + the rapid development of tolerance means that these drugs - for me - are not worth the tradeoff of minor academic improvement. I also haven't had problems keeping the blocked websites blocked.
I've started a journal because with me re-entering University there's a lot more stress and a lot more girls. The combination is dangerous because A. I feel bad when I miss out on the experiences that the fit girls here could provide and B. the stress makes me a lot more likely to do things (read: jerk it) that will cause me to miss out on the experiences that the fit girls here could provide. I don't want to wait twenty-five years for brain modification technologies to come out before I can have some regular vanilla sex.
A couple of nights this past week, my flatmate's friend has been basically forcing herself on me. She came and slept in my bed 2 nights in a row wanting to fool around. And, 2 nights in a row, no response down there. A little embarrassing. I guess my brain was expecting an over the top nympho in fishnets and boots, the reality really couldn't live up to the hype. Funny thing, when she left the next morning I could still bust a nut watching porn. That's when I knew I had a problem. I've been looking at porn in some way or another and jacking off since I was about 8 years old (just turned 22). Guess I have to teach my dick how to work properly again.
Slowly I have been getting rid of clutter in my life and been trying to simplify everything to live the proverbial "simple life." Not going to get into the whole philosophy of it (unless someone wants me to - just trying to live in the now more as corny as it sounds), but over the past year(ish) I have tried my hardest to go back to a lifestyle more like out ancestors would have had and that our body has been made for. Our bodies and brains have hardly evolved at all over the past 50,000 years, yet how we use them has changed drastically. While not a complete list things I have done so far include:
-Start the warrior diet (one meal a day of mostly completely fresh foods)
-Exercise with no machines (outdoor cardio and frteeweights only)
-No facebook twitter etc (currently this is the only place I am posting on the net)
-Given away a bunch of my things and cut down tremendously on the wardrobe (currently all I have in my room is a bed, clothes, laptop and record collection - and I aint giving that away)
-Given up cigars, weed and coke (although under the right circumstances I would smoke weed again, just not weekly for no reason)
These are just a few. Some things like the internet, I give up for a month, to see what my life is like without it (you have to take yourself out of the system to properly see that maze you are stuck in) before plugging myself back into it at a much decreased usage.
This brings me to porn:
I was going to do a similar thing like I did with the internet, see whats life is like without it and then make a decision at the end of the month. I didnt really think I had many P related issues, apart from the occasional case of DE which was appearing more frequently the I would like (not normal for a 21 year old), so I decided to give it a crack.
About a week into it I stumbled onto Your Brain On Porn and thought there might be more P related problems then I realized. Nothing serious, just how it affects your moods and energy levels and all that stuff you guys know about. So thats when I decided that there might be more to this then the simple give up P for a month approach I was going to do. So I decided to give a M as well. That was a week ago.
And that brings us to today and the title of the post. Where am I going? What I am doing? I have no idea. So over the next week, I think I will set an actual goal/timeline. This will be what I think my endgame will be: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=1995.0
I'm 22 with porn induced erectile dysfunction. The first two times I tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection at all, one time was sober one drunk. Then the next girl was kind of a 3-night stand over a weekend with the only improvement being getting a half-erection and penetrating momentarily before it was too flaccid to go on. Now, I've met the woman of my dreams, definite soul-mate and drop dead gorgeous...I ended up telling her about my past failures in intercourse and she joked it would happen with us but I was sure it wouldn't because there's a real connection with this girl, unlike the other two. And she's beautiful too, out of my league even...But sure enough the other night it was time and of course I couldn't get an erection...I managed to get a decent halfer at first when the clothes started coming off and she grabbed around, but then it just wimped out and went away...
I've looked at internet porn since I was 12, now I'm 22, There have been times where the internet porn addiction got kind of bad, but it always mellowed out to calmer more normal routines, but always frequent. Sometimes I'd masturbate daily, multiple times daily, but then other times I'd go for a few days or so without any porn or masturbation.
Either way this girl is really cool and understanding and we talk about it openly with next to no embarrassment on my part anymore, I was going to see a doctor but then we decided it might be porn induced or psychological, and after that night I've written off all porn and I'm not masturbating again for a while.
I started masturbating when i was about 11. I remember i used to do it prone, but changed it a year after to "normal style" if you will. When i was young i used to masturbate to comics with half nude drawn actiongirls, but it escalated to some porn magazines I got from a friend when i was about 13. When i got 15/16 i started watching porn video clips and I remember I got horny like a mad man. I was always a popular guy and girls often told me that I was good looking. Since I was a kid I have always been shy amongst girls, but when i started drinking about 16 years old I made out with a lot of girls but no sex.I When I was 18, I hooked up with a girl from class I was in love with, but it ended badly. We tried to have sex but to my amazement i couldn't get it up and i freaked out. she told everyone of her friends and of course almost the whole school knew the story by the end of the weekend. It was the most embarrassing episode in my life and i honestly believe i became a different person after that day.
Anyway when i was in the military i met a girl a bit younger than me and we ended up being a couple for almost 4 years. The first time we tried to have sex, I had ED even though i had taken a viagra pill. I hit rock bottom but she was really kind and said it didn't matter, and she had of course herd the story about me and the other girl But i finally managed to have sex after a while, but finally i admitted that i had used pills. She was shocked and told me that i didn't need to use them. And right she was because i quit, got an erection and have never used them again. We lived together for 2 years and where we lived we didn't have internet so i didn't masturbate while i was there, but we often went home in the weekends and there i would binge into hours of porn, feeling numb and low libido for several days. My libido was low and i could often only orgasm once (like an old rifle) and then had to wait 24hours before i could go again.
After almost 4 years we broke up last summer(nothing to do with my situation) and since then my porn use have really accelerated. I found the Yourbrainonporn site 8th January and i was so happy, it all made sense. I quit cold turkey and haven't looked at porn since. I have MO two times because i was only going to massage my self, but I couldn't help it, I had to O. It's been over 3 weeks since i last had an orgasm, and i want to wait as long as possible before I do it again.
IMPROVEMENTS: Less social anxiety, more confidence (I totally rocked at a job interview two days ago ), can easier get an erection by only touching my penis. I also got an erection in the morning only by thinking about a girl, no touching.
BUT: I haven't got ANY spontaneous erections and it's really frustrating, and my morning erections are really variable. I also suspect that i recently got into flatline nr. 2. Feeling absolutely no libido trough all these weeks unless i touch myself. I'm also 99 % shure I have prostatitis. Several times i have got blood in my semen, although it's usually when i have been without masturbation for a while. The last time I had an O, it was completely RED and a week ago had to poop and it came blood out of my penis
GOALS: I want to have normal sex again. And it's really frustrating to only have had sex with one person when you're 24 years old. I want to have one night stands, but i think my performance anxiety is putting a stop for this
Well this is my story and i wish all of you guys the best. Would love some feedback sorry my English is quite bad
Yea, when I look at porn and can just keep browsing endless categories and stimulate myself I can get nice erections, but with a beautiful girl with whom I'm in love I can only get a half-erection that then fades away... I've stopped masturbating for 4 days, since the morning of the incident.
A little bit about myself: im 23 years old and i suffer from porn-induced ED. I started fapping at 13 to mostly girls in my class and in a few years moved to female singers/musicians (Beyonce shakira etc) and porn. I would usually fap 1-4 times a day often with sessions lasting a few hours or longer - just to enjoy the feeling. I would even fap at work in the toilet stalls haha. I always suspected so much M was bad for me and tried quitting several times - the longest i would last was 5 weeks but i would eventually come back to porn. I never escalated to anything hardcore.
I was a virgin till 22 when I first had sex with a random hookup at a party - i was very drunk and i couldnt come (i was a few weeks PMO free at the time). My erection was decent i think but i was heavily de-sensitized. I chalked it up due to the amount of alcohol i had and moved on.
About seven months ago i met my first real gf (who i am with now). I thought i was in love and any thought about masturbating or porn would disgust me. Our first sex pretty much failed (i was hard but couldnt finish, again). Shortly, my skills improved and i could O in a few positions. I usually get hard just by kissing, but it never stays long.
Our sex usually lasts a few minutes - i suspect this is due to my erection lasting so short (she never had an orgasm even if i go down on her or use my fingers). Eventually, my old habits returned and i was fapping while she was away.
A few weeks ago i stumbled upon YBOP and everything made sense to me now. I decided to give up porn/masturbating forever. My number one goal is to get rid of this nasty ED.
Today marks the 17th day i am PM-free. The last two weeks were pretty depressing and i have a lot of mood swings. I also increased in beer and comfort food Sometimes i have days when im super motivated and go to the gym and eat well, sometimes i just want to drink beer and play video games.
Anyway, 4 days ago my gf came over and she gave me a heavenly bj (i was 9-10/10 hard) and we had sex right afterwards (4/10 hard). Does this count as a relapse? Do you guys think i should quit having sex for my 90days reboot period? Honestly i felt so bad afterwards due to the chaser effect that i am not sure whether i want it. I really don't want to tell my girlfriend about my condition, its probably easier for me to ditch her (don't have the same feelings for her anymore).
At this time i don't crave porn/masturbating at all and hope it stays this way. I get really excited about even talking to average girls right now (i feel like i want to bone every one of them).
P.S. sorry if my style of writing is very dry (English is not my native language)
I've been looking at porn since I was 9. I'm 21 now. Its only during the last year, once I started to get seriously sexually active that I realized I had an ED problem. After going through the requisite freaking out about how I was too young to have ED and embarrassment when I couldn't just pop up and go the way guys my age are supposed to be able to, I began to suspect there was some connection to porn. I have no problems when watching porn, but I'm dead when it comes to me being with my girl friend. And I love her.It is scary how little awareness there is on the net that ED caused by too much porn is a very real problem. It's not about us lacking confidence, or being uneasy around our lovers, I truly believe its all about desensitization. Although my heart and soul are in my lover, she just can't physically arouse me. She can't compete, no girl can ever compete, with the endless sexual visual fiction porn offers.
So, after reading through a lot of similar stories on Medhelp, I've decided to give up porn and hope that my penis starts functioning normally, with the girl I love, and not with meaningless fantasies online.
I am 24 and I've been having low sex drive for about 18 months now. I'm still unsure if this has been caused by a drug for hair loss called Propecia (finasteride), because lowered sex drive is a side effect of this drug. However, I stopped propecia 18 months ago, and my sex drive is still worse than ever. After seeing a bunch of doctors and doing blood tests, all doctors have said I am healthy and that this is psychological. Before my sex drive disappeared, I was the horniest person on earth. I was masturbating at least twice a day, and having sex with women was never a problem.I never preferred porn to real sex, but I would spend hours everyday watching porn. Even then I could ejaculate and have sex multiple times a day. I've been watching porn since I was like 12.
However, I noticed I started having erectile problems and low sex drive when having sex with my girlfriend at that time back in summer 2007. I immediately blamed the propecia drug, but doctors couldn't find anything hormonally or physically wrong.
Since then, I have found many claims that porn can desensitize you. Although porn had never affected my sex drive and performance with real women for all my life, I noticed I was watching increasingly graphic porn to get aroused. They call this "escalation" for porn addicts. I never once thought that too much porn could be unhealthy or lower my threshold for becoming aroused until I read all these stories of porn overuse.
LATER: Hey guys, turns out all my sex drive issues that I mentioned above were not actually related to the drug propecia.
They were related to porn abuse. I became highly desensitized to porn since I watched it so constantly for so many years. I've now been battling to quit watching porn. But now my sex drive is progressively recovering.
I have all the common symptoms of porn addiction, and that just disgusts me that I’ve let myself get to this point where if I don't do something to fix it, it'll be permanent. I've got ED and from the addiction I believe that's what triggers my PE. The whole porn addiction started off when I found out about these late night TV phone in shows, babe station that sort of thing – I was only in secondary school at the time – I would just watch that for ages in bed sometimes just watching it because I could and not that I desired too. Then as all the other articles go that wasn't good enough any more and needed to find something more hardcore.
Got my first proper girlfriend when I was 16, was with her for 2 years and as teenagers we had a very enjoyable sex life, no problems what so ever. The problems came from when we broke up and I hit porn on a daily basis to fill that void and it would become a routine. I've had a couple of girlfriends since then and have all been successful, but they weren't really that needing for sex and from this is when I discovered my fetish for oral, So a lot of the time me and my girlfriend would just do oral and no intercourse, but we enjoyed it and was happy so fair enough. Each time I broke up with someone from then on I’d goto porn and get stuck in a binge. Sounds horrible thinking back to it now but you all understand.
I'm 21 now and since I turned 18 I’ve been going down town and I’ve had a fair share of one night stands but my ED had increased but of course on top of alcohol it was even worse. But it wouldn't really bother me because I’d blame it on the alcohol. It's a viscous circle though - you get confidence when drinking, but you won't perform as well. So I’ve had my fair share of the embarrassing conversations.
Now been out of a relationship for 2 years and I’ve been getting to know someone for a couple of month now, we've had successful foreplay together and had intercourse 5 times, 4 of them was when we came back from town. The first time is when I never even bothered with doing a reboot, the other 3 was during or just before my previous reboot. Anyway, the first time was horrible!. Really strong ED kicked in after a couple of minutes so had to stop, she said it's just cause it's really warm so don't worry about it. Obviously I did though!. During my reboot I stayed round her house knowing g that something was going to happen but with just 7 days no PMO my erections were getting much stronger, still couldn't maintain for a long time and the PE was there but improvement is improvement right. Well that’s where the anxiety bombarded me, I wrote on my journal that I had sex twice and that I enjoyed it, and I did!. But the thought of either letting her go whilst I can fix myself, or stay with her and put her through a rubbish sex life just got to me and I masturbated. I didn't watch porn though, just fantasied about it. I felt disgusted with myself afterwards and that’s why I came on here and deleted my journal as i felt i really let myself down. I don't want to be 40 and fighting this problem for 20 odd years.
She stayed round mine last night and we had sex, I don't have a problem gaining an erection with her as I have done with other people as I think it's because I really like her and she likes me too so that just boosts everything. Just kissing with her I get a good enough erection for penetration. When I’m on my own during the day the erections are much much weaker. Sadly PE struck and we had to stop 4 minutes into it, she got a little angry this time because I was putting it off at first and she said I didn't look happy about her being around.
So here we go again, got to start again as I want a clean slate & talking about it really does help you and keep motivated. I'm facing a really big issue now though, in my time of rebooting I could be pushing the girl away. I'd like to go for 90 days, and see where i can go from there. I have to say though, relapsing makes you realise your problems more than ever.
I don't have any social anxiety, more performance anx and would love to cure that.
You 2 are totally right AND Inspired me ! Seriously. I had the same issue. Had no problems getting hard off porn but when it came to sex with a woman I would go limp after a few minutes. 1. Masturbating to porn everyday for several years is part of the problem. 2. Like I you said, Its not just watching porn its HOW you masturbate. The grip of your fingers wrapped tight is much more intense then having a condom on and sliding in and out a nice soft Vagina. Over years of masturbation I became accustom to my hands and the Soft vagina just wasn't doing it for me. I originally stopped masturbation for a week. After just a few days I was getting spontaneous erections again. When I do masturbate I try to keep it down to once a day and use as little pressure from my hands as I can so I don't train my Penis into its old ways. Yesterday I had my 1st orgasm/longtime erection.
Wow, I'm really glad to have found this Forum. I, too, am a porn addict. I actually started extremely early, around the age of five. It first started from me somehow getting turned on by women on just regular television. Ginger from Gilligans Island, the blond chick from Three's Company, just any hot looking girls from television. I don't even think I had an erection at 5; I would just rub on the bed and *** a little load. Then, throughout the years, late night cinemax with the soft core porn got me through my days. I got to see boobs!!! After that, when I first was introduced to real porn I was about 16 and I couldn't even believe what was going on!! They were really having intercourse. I suddenly got a supercharged hard on from the image of hardcore porn. I could never go back to soft-core, it's not enough.
Now years passed, and I was pretty much masturbating everyday from video rentals and internet porn. Now that porn is so easily accessed I see the escalation of my preference. I am no longer aroused by one on one sex, it has to be an orgy or gangbang or *** on the face. Whats scary is, guys pissing in chicks mouths got my pants to move. I think it's time to stop!!!! Anyway, it has always crossed my mind that porn and even television in general has had a great impact on my erectile dysfunction.
I'm 28 now and even still suffer from the problem. And yes, it's because I'm still addicted to porn. It's hard to stop, especially with the new free porn sites available. But don't get me wrong, I've had sexual encounters with plenty of women; and some of them, I've failed to plow my **** in their vagina unless I use Viagra. And some, I've pleasured really well orally or with my fingers. However, I'm really disappointed that I have a hard time finishing inside. I would either get flaccid really quick, or when using Viagra, stay hard forever and never finish.
I feel bad because the girl sometimes think it's them even when they're super hot. I feel like I'm psychologically damaging them and myself. I'm even afraid I can't have any kids because of it. Anyway, I'm glad to find this forum and hope we can all get through it together. Then maybe in the future we can get our girls and make our own orgy. haha
Hi everyone, just starting out here today. I've had some setbacks and previous failures in past relationships due to erectile problems. I never thought that porn could be the reason until I stumbled upon this site 10 days ago. Read a lot of what everyone has gone or been going through and something clicked in my head. So I decided to take the 90 day challenge/reboot not only for the obvious reason to have a better sex life but to also live a better life. I'm now 10 days in( no P no M, no nada) and feel great kinda funny considering my girlfriend and I broke up two days in. But that's another story, anyways I also quit smoking and drinking. I really think its great that this website and info exist, that we can all support each other. If anyone has any advice/tips on a successful reboot that'd be great. Thanks for your time, have great day guys and remember everydays a victory!
Wow! This cause is not mentioned anywhere on any ED information sites. I am pretty certain this is my problem exactly. I am going to quit porn and batting off for 2 weeks and see how that goes. I don't think any of you guys should worry, I'm 23 and having these issues. We cant all have physical issues. It's definitely the porn!!! Be strong with your will power to stop!!
Thank you all so much for posting your experiences, I have had the same experience with watching porn and the continuous masturbation for like over 13 years. Previously I was a virgin up to the age of 23, when I first tried to have sex and couldn't keep it up it's like I just lost interest.
Spontaneous erections were a thing of the past but I however could get them while watching porn. To remain hard I had to keep stimulating myself and I even found that regular porn was getting boring. I recently tried to stop watching porn and I realized a vast difference. Porn does desensitizes you and when you get to the real thing it isn't as fascinating.
I think masturbation is good in moderation, but masturbation and porn is dangerous in the long run. Thing is I only really realized this from reading all your experiences thank you so much for sharing and I am planning to stop the porn all together.
Taken me a while to start a journal but decided to go for it. I'm on around day 45 with only one slip so far into my first reboot and I intend to keep it as my first and only reboot. Started fapping to pics around 13/14 and escalated to daily use until about 20. Got a girlfriend now and I was unable to keep it up. Found YBOP/YBRB and decided to quit PMO forever. I've found giving up porn pretty easy but M hard especially with my girl sexting me and sending me revealing pictures. I decided to test myself a few days ago to pictures of normal porn and got hard straight away, this differs from before where even hardcore videos needed stimulation so I guess I am improving quite a lot, still got another 45 days of my reboot left mind but it seems to be going well.
I'm 19 and went through the exact same thing. I've been in the position of feeling hopeless or wondering if anything will work; however, I'd like to make a few recommendations that have helped me:
1. Stop watching porn (occasional masturbation is fine, but the use of porn while doing so is counterproductive; if you retrain your mind to get hard without watching porn, you'd be shocked at how much it will improve your erections while with women in person).
2. If you masturbate, use lighter touching and stimulation; after I watched porn for 7 years, I didn't realize how rough I was on myself until I started to take a break here and there.
3. Be patient; it took me one month of not watching porn for my mind to start returning to normal and to have stimulation without watching hardcore porn; another two weeks before I started to notice my erections improving (Well worth the wait).
4. Relax; if you only think about not getting an erection, you won't get an erection. Try to masturbate when you are feeling relaxed and bored, not as a way to cope with stress; doing so is only going to perpetuate a sense of hopelessness.
Hope this helps guys.
Same story. 100%. Went to see a urologist and everything, thought there was something wrong with me. Levels were fine, I'm really healthy, exercise loads, generally feel very good about my physical appearance, however maybe a few of you also suffer from a slight lack of self esteem? No good reason for it, maybe a thing from my childhood. Who knows. I think it's a factor for me. Anyway I never really managed to have proper free flowing sex with a girl until recently (I'm 30). By the way I am never watching that scourgefull porn ever again (although there are still some scorching scenes in my head that I doubt will ever leave me). Good luck
A little about me first
I'm 23 years old. Stay home with my mom. Have been fapping like there's no women on earth since the age of 13. The early years were all masturbation but later after we moved to the united states and got faster and faster internet it was constant never ending internet videos. I have nothing in my life. Like i said, i live with my mom and absolutely do nothing. Don't have a job, don't even ask me about a girlfriend, no ambition, bearly have any community college experience (made awful grades and got suspended). In terms of my social life, i am doing decent but my addiction is keeping me from making any concrete friends or get a girlfriend. I've known about pickup for a couple of years now and did manage to get over my approach anxiety and such but there is little for a girl to like me despite me going up to her and telling her that i find her cute.
I have been throwing my life away to constant and immediate pleasure. I spend 98 percent of my time staying home, watching tv, playing playstation, netflix, junk food, coke. You know.. constant immediate arousal pleasure activities.
Deep down inside i know i am not supposed to be this pathetic of a human waste. My grand dad was one of the most successful layers in the country i was from and my dad is also mega successful. I feel like such a unmotivated, unambitious soul that is trapped and can't get out of a hole.
I knew there was something wrong with me all this time. During my younger years i used to make the best grades in class and was a fun loving happy kind.
After i read all the rebooting accounts here, YBOP and Reddit i realized there were hundreds of thousands of people like me out there. And other's who didn't even know they had this life limiting problem.
After finding out about this i tried to reboot several times. My best was a ten day streak a couple of months ago. I felt so amazing. I had girls approaching me and asking me to add them on facebook/get numbers and such. It was a great time. Since then i relapsed in several attempts. I installed k9, blocked my ipad for good, blocked images on my phone and such. But i keep relapsing. I found out my biggest obstacles were keeping away from triggers and not thinking about them.
I just hope i can repair my brain and get my manhood back and be the man that i was supposed to be. I want to have my desire to achieve things in life again. Right now i have zero desire to do anything. Life seems to suck and suck bad. Hope fully this journey will change me for the better and i can come across the other side as a new person.
Thanks for listening oh and i will be updating this journal
I'm 27 and I started having problems a couple years ago. I narrowed it down to smoking and porn, as everything else in my body was perfectly healthy. At first I could only have sex with the help of the pill, but then after maybe 1-2 months of no smoking/nicotine patches and no porn I managed to not need it, and haven't used it ever since.I'm not totally sure what the exact reason was, but I'm damned sure that using the nicotine patches to quit coupled with an intense desire to have normal sex again was at least a part of it, and getting away from the porn as well.
Getting away from porn was actually more difficult, as I've caved into that more than smoking over the past 8 months. I'd recommend keeping your hands away from your jimmie unless necessary. It helped me reduce my urges a lot, and it makes perfect sense that if you're just sitting around and you got your hand down there eventually you're gonna be stimulated.
I will admit that I masturbated, but without the porn and with try to not constantly have my hands grabbing my **** I kept it down to a few times a week instead of a few times a day.
Anyways, hope this helps. There's definitely hope, even if you feel like you're screwed. I made the changes in my life, gave them time to develop (you know, actually, maybe it took 3 months to actually kick in) and now I'm perfectly healthy from a sexual standpoint, and my girlfriend's loving it. Don't give up, things can only get better from here on out if you make the effort.
22 years old. Porn induced ED. Sex with one girl at 19 for a month. Could get it up but couldn't keep it up. Happened until we broke up. Had delayed ejaculation with her and then premature ejaculation from porn. Since then, I've developed depression, anxiety, and insomnia.
As a kid I was sad to look at. Small, awkward, chubby, plagued with horrendous acne. Tortured by other kids for how I looked for being different. First kiss was second semester of my freshman year in college. Lost my virginity the first week of my sophomore year.
I grew out of my awkward phase. I'm now 5' 11" 173lbs with a clean face and a good group of friends. I know I can get with girls. The only thing in between me and having an active,healthy, sex life is masturbating to porn.
Discovered YBOP and Reuniting in September 2011. I've been trying to reboot ever since.
All time record: 45 Days no PMO. 57 Days no masturbation (Current reboot)
Goals: Reboot. I'll count the days but there is no end goal. I'll know I'm good when I match the signs of recovering according to YBOP. I'm guessing it will be 60-120 days before I'm rebooted but I'm not stressing. I know I'll have ups and downs.
Masturbation: My goal is no masturbation for a minimum of 90 days. I'd like to give it up for good but I don't know if that is a realistic goal. I know people have but I'll have to see how things turn out.
Very similar problem, but I'll throw another wrinkle in there. I am the same, have no problem masturbating to porno, but when I have a girl in my bed nothing works. For example, last night I had dinner with a very attractive girl then came back and was making out with her and I was aroused. Next thing you know we get down to business and NOTHING. I was mortified and the girl could tell so in turn she was weirded out.
Now I have on occasion gone to the massage parlor and guess what NO PROBLEM there. It's almost as if I have completely disconnected sex from real life. What happened last night also came after 10 days of no porn and no masturbation. I am absolutely terrified I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life. I realize 99% of it is me just dwelling on it in the moment, but I cant get my head past it.
I guess pills are an option, but I fear becoming reliant on them. I am really scared and embarrassed. The worst part is the fear and shame just build up in my head so when the opportunity presents itself that's all I can think about.
I was in the same boat as most everyone here. I became hooked on internet porn and was unable to keep an erection when attempting intercourse with an actual woman. This shocked me into stopping my daily porn/masturbation cold turkey, as I knew that sex with a real woman was no longer a big enough kick to get me excited. After a week of cold turkey I tried again with her and another no go. I faked a bad headache and went home.
One week later, after almost 3 weeks of zero porn/masturbation, I felt that this was going to possibly be my last chance with this woman. I was really stressing out. I was really expecting that going cold turkey this long would leave me horny as hell, but actually I felt just the opposite - like I just wasn't interested any more. Maybe my libido was shot.
Anyway, the morning of the big day I started fantasizing about having sex with this woman - like we were really doing it, what it would actually feel like. I felt the old juice coming back if you know what I mean. I worked on it throughout the day. I was still nervous that night, but I'd built my desire for her and when the time came I was really wanting her (not some DDD porn star) - and I performed!
Needless to say, I'm totally done with porn and I have to say that I don't seem to miss it at all. Just get that **** out of your life!
So for the past 7 months I have been suffering from ED. I started to research online and today I was led to this site while watching a youtube video about porn induced ED. I was surprised when I came to the realization that I most likely have been a porn/internet addict for around 10 years. I spent a while thinking about my past and realized that I had in fact spent hours a day watching porn while growing up. I started watching internet porn in around grade 6 and my habits got progressively worse as I went through high school and college. During this time I was also addicted to an online game where I would often spend 14 hours a day playing. My life consisted of school, games, and porn for the better part of my youth. It got to the point where I would be searching through porn for hours a day, sometimes numerous times a day (upwards of 5 times a day fapping (not sure of the appropriate terminology to use lol)). Not only did this affect my mood and drain my energy, but I wasted so much time when I could have been out with friends or learning a new hobby.
I never really thought about the affect this has had on my life until today, and I never thought it was a problem until I started to suffer from ED.
A bit about my past sexually....I have had numerous girlfriends growing up despite my addiction and there was never any issues. I would be able to "perform" for hours, sometimes many times a day. There were a few times that I recall getting "bored" and would rather watch porn than be with my gf...this has happened with a few of my past gfs, and would then start the cycle of spending hours a day watching porn.
Fast forward to 7 months ago...I met a girl and the ED problems started. I thought maybe it was due to stress, since it happened right in the middle of exam week. I also thought it could be due to sleep apnea. I was recently diagnosed and heard of some people suffering from ED as a result. After getting treatment for both, I am thinking it may be due to the internet porn, and even if its not I have realized I will benefit from curing my porn addiction either way...I also am seeing a urologist in 2 months so hopefully results will occur before then. I was also prescribed cialis and viagra...neither had a strong effect, I was only able to get 60-70% wood on both.
Coincidentally, I had started a no porn/fap break to see if it would help after reading it somewhere online. I had managed to last 5 days. during those first few days I was a wreck. I felt insanely horny and fidgety/shaky. Also my anxiety was a bit higher. Oh, I also have suffered from social anxiety disorder for over 10 years, which apparently is common for people with this porn addiction. So it will be interesting to see if this has any effect on that.
I will be starting day 1 tomorrow, with no porn/touching for AT LEAST 90 days. I am also single now so I won't have the added stress of being ashamed that I can't please my partner. The girl I was with when the ED started, cheated on me with her ex. I thought maybe I could trust her when she said "it was ok" that I was having ED problems, but I knew it was inevitable, especially at our age (23).
Wow! I have never been able to relate to someone with my problem until now! I've never had problems with getting girls I just always had problems when it came to sex. I had a girlfriend when i was 14-16 years old and I used to be able to have sex with her anytime i wanted.
Then after that I didn't have another chance to have sex til i was 18. In the mean time i spent a lot of time watching porn, getting more and more intense as time passed. At 18 i found a new girlfriend. We tried again and again with no success. Sadly I even broke up with her because I simply couldn't get aroused during sex even though i knew she was hot.
After that I tried having sex with a number of girls all without success. (This is when i realized the problem was me not the girl). Last summer i went out with another girl who i knew wasn't going to turn into anything but she was gorgeous. We tried to have sex a lot and i could only achieve an erection for 5 or 10 mins. at most if i was lucky. She was very understanding of my problems and used to make excuses for me like i was too drunk or i had a physical problem but i knew none of those were the case.
I would really become depressed when we tried again and again and nothing would happen. I mean if i couldn't get it up for a girl like this i thought i never would be able to. I'm now 20 years old and I've had so many embarrassing moments i couldn't tell you. I truly believe my problems are because my **** and mind are just used to watching porn and my own hand.
After reading this and realizing you all are going through the same problem as me and some of you have had success after stopping I've decided I'm going to stop watching porn altogether and try as hard as i can to master bate a little as possible. I really hope this works!
Well then, the classic "why can't I cum" or "why won't my little friend come out to play when i need it too" has been questions that have been far too frequent to me over the last few years.
I'll lay a bit of a background for you guys to get to know what has made me think I should do a reboot.
Started masterbating when I was about 12-13 years old. At first it was over girls from the T.V or in magazines, then a few years latter...we got broadband!
So I was about 15 when porn 'came' (pun intended ) into my life and I started doing it very frequently. At first, about once a day but then when I started getting older, it became about 2-3 times a day.
Sex-wise, I was fine getting erections during sex, as I lost my virginity at about 16. However, I went through a "barren spell" for about 2 years between 18-20 years old, so that's when I started to masturbate a lot.
I started to see probelms after this "spell" but I was always pretty pissed so I just blamed it on that. But after it started to happen when I was sober, that when I got worried.
Thats when I google my problems and found yourbrainonporn.com. I found out that my dick only words if I was watching some slut guzzled down a litre of sperm, and I knew I had to somthing about it.
Words cannot describe how happy I am that I stumbled across this. I think I'm one of the youngest here, just 18 years old nearly 19, but the problem is the same. I have been watching porn since the age of about 7 or 8 and masturbating frequently since I was 11. I have never had any difficulty getting erect with the visual aid of porn.
It was only during this past year that I'd had any real luck with women. After reading all your stories it seems like we are all in the same boat and for the first time I feel there is hope! When watching porn I get hard before I even play the clip. Yet when there's a smoking hot naked girl on my bed saying I can do whatever I want with her, my ****'s limper than a bag of sand.
Frankly something doesn't add up and I think porn is the problem! I can't believe I never saw the danger in it. I am going to force myself to stop looking at porn and try some of the techniques other guys have suggested.I can't stress enough what this thread means to me! It's just so good to know I'm not alone. Best of luck to you all!
Before I found YBOP I felt pretty hopeless. I was questioning whether I would, at the age of 21, have to turn to ED medication because I knew something was wrong when I'd try to have sex with my gf and could only maintain an erection during oral sex, and just barely at that.I now know the truth and this journal is chronicle my recovery and give myself a way to track my progress.
Currently I am 21, have been masturbating since 13ish and using porn since about 15. From what I've read my young starting age will make this harder, but that's life I guess. After reading through YBOP I immediately realized I fitted most of the typical signs of porn related ED and after reading the reports that said it usually takes someone with my description 90+ days I was pretty overwhelmed and doubted I could make it. I decided to take things one day at a time and I'm at 10 days no PM and 5 days no O. My gf had visited last weekend and my inability to maintain an erection suitable for intercourse is part of what spurred my to start searching for help online.
She visits again in 20 days and that would make it exactly 1 month no PM and 25 days no O, so hopefully I'll be able to perform then, even though I know I'm not likely to be fully recovered, if can't maintain an erection again when she comes I guess I've earned that.
I'm pretty active, I practice jiu jitsu 4 days a week and lift heavy 4 days also so I'm hoping that will speed my recovery process. I plan to update this journal daily.
I'm 32 years old, and have noticed over the years that my libido has decreased significantly. I usually don't go any longer than maybe 6-months being single, but during those periods I turn to self-stimulation and porn to get me by, The problem is that each new relationship yields less positive results when it comes to sex, and I often lose my erection or can't get one at all.
Recently I started dating a new girl, and we became intimate. The first two times we attempted to have sex, I was unable to get an erection. The second time, we played around for a good 7 hours with no positive results. Kissing, manual, oral, nothing worked.
Well, I started reading about ED, came across this thread, and decided to give up porn and masturbation completely.About a week after giving up porn and masturbation, I found that I was achieving random erections from sexual talk with my girl. We have had successful intercourse, and my erections are getting stronger by the day.
My libido sucks, no Ed but PE, orgasms are weak as hell, anxiety + depression Today is day 0
I've tried several several times to reboot and feel great and I then eventually relapse, it kills me - Any tips? Age 23
I strongly believe porn and masturbation were the root of my problem, and I expect that in the coming weeks my sex life will be stronger than ever. I have been open with my girl about the porn and masturbation, and I have talked to her about the plausible link between ED and the two. She is very supportive, and we seem to get closer and more open by the day.
i am 23 years old, my problem started 4 years ago when i was 19 years old. I started to see porn when i was 15 years old ,i usually went to have sex with a boy a neighbor (yeah i am gay) two times a week for 4 years since i was 16 years old.
my problem started one day when i was 19 years old. i went to have sex with my neighbor and my penis didn´t work. actually since that day 4 years ago my penis only work if someone masturbated me or someone gave me oral sex. and i got the erection but only for a few seconds if i no continue masturbating.
actually i have 21 days No PMO, but i am not getting better but i going to continue for 4 months more.
Hey guys, same story here. Had a long term girlfriend, my first sex ever, and consistently pleased her. Years later we talk, and she still says I'm the best she ever had. I could go for a long time, and multiple times per day. I watched a bit of porn but not much. Masturbated probably once per day. Broke up with her, started watching porn more consistently, multiple times per day, and masturbating to it always. Started a new relationship, and slowly developed ED-type problems. As the relationship progressed, I continued to get depressed about "losing my sexual abilities" and continually turned to porn to get off, and even to prove to myself that I could get it up. Porn always worked.
Broke up with HER, now I'm single and developing a FB type relationship. I'm in great shape, 27 and in all other ways, a confident man. I'm so happy to have found this forum.
I know it's not a health issue. I feel like I can link the deterioration of my sexual abilities to my increasing use of, and dependence on, porn. I quit a few days ago, and last night I definitely got some random boners which is surprising and pleasing.
I'm also trying to do Kegel-type exercises to increase my control, by flexing and releasing pelvic muscles throughout the day. I don't know if I need to quit masturbating, so I'm just doing these two things first, but so far I'm hopeful.
I feel like I'm I've been in an A.A meeting with about a hundred addicts sitting around in a circle. Honestly I feel like I've gotten to know you guys just through stories and support from each of you, sharing and responding.
I'm 19 years old and was brought up in a testosterone fueled pack of men. I'm Italian, so the extended family is practically living with eachother. Uncles and cousins, my father and even my grandfather, all with the same viewpoint: "get as much as you can as fast as you can." Now I was raised on this from around age 9. I saw my fair share of things hangin around the older men in my family (I'm about the median when it comes to age) and from the double digits on, my libido was main priority. I lost my virginity at an early age and was commended for it. I was having meaningless sex all through high school and when I didn't have something in front of me, I masturbated constantly.
My life revolved around my sex drive. I'd come home for class, masturbate twice, then go out and talk some sleeze into letting me "give her a ride home". Then all of a sudden I had a dry spell, and it was all porn all the time to compensate. When it came to porn, it was up like a rocket, just like usual. But after a while, I used it as a tool for boredom or when I was upset about something. I started to lose my morning wood. From age 16 to just recently, I haven't woken up with an erection.
Not too long ago I was in a relationship with a wonderful girl. Model material. Everything I could've asked for, and I started having problems in the sack. I started losing it mid drive (when I could pull of a decent halfmast), calling it "over exertion" or "performance anxiety". we split back in september, causing an alltime high of masturbation, but since finding this site, I've been able to pull myself out of addiction and haven't masturbated to porn in over 2 weeks.
The otherday, I woke up, and guess who was staring back at me? That's right- My junk! I started to tear up. I'm starting to get turned on by Victoria Secret commercials and curves on girls just walkin' down the street. It's a beautiful thing. Stay persistent and hopeful.
No M for a week and a half, porn free for only 3 days. I had the overwhelming urge to "test" my progress, and looked at some porn. When I began the rebooting process, I really thought that 90% of my problem was M. After devouring every piece of information I could find on the subject, I believe P really is the main cause, as strange as that is to accept.
I had an experience 2 days ago that really made it click for me. I looked at porn Monday morning (3 days ago). I was so aroused I could’ve O in 30 seconds no problem. After 2 minutes of porn, no M, I was rock hard and even feeling sexual sensation in my penis. I thought "Surely I will respond this way to a real life female."
I invited a girl over the next night and we made out in the hot tub and moved to the bedroom. I was hard enough to penetrate her, but the pleasure feeling just wasn’t there. So.....M with my hand while watching porn = O in 30 seconds. (theoretically, maybe a couple minutes tops) M with my hand while in bed with a woman = no sexual sensation whatsoever! To me it was a sure sign that the dopamine in my brain is only being released when I look at porn, I get no reaction to any other type of stimuli.
So no more porn for this guy! I'm not feeling the withdrawal symptoms that many report. Sleep is normal, I was already working out like crazy before I started abstaining, which keeps me in a pretty good mood, that hasn’t changed. But it’s still very early. I’ll keep u all posted.
I am very glad to have found this discussion thread! I am a man in my early 30s, and until recently I had been watching porn pretty consistently for 12 years. Throughout that time I got in bed many times with different girls, but at the point of intercourse, my penis simply would not function. I just assumed that the girls were not attractive enough, or that I was drunk/nervous etc.
However, a while I got into a relationship with a really nice young woman. Even though I like her very much, I couldn't keep myself hard while having sex. She became very upset and sad, assuming (naturally) that she was the cause of the problem. I went to the doctor, and the test results came out normal.
I was depressed and angry at myself, until I found these discussions. I asked my GF to be patient, because "I had become too accustomed to masturbation". I left out the porn part because I was certain that she would freak out.
I had always thought that I was using porn as a substitute for real sex, when it wasn't available. But then I realized the obvious: for me, porn *was* sex! Looking at videos I'd get hard instantly. In bed with an actual woman, however, I was just confused, not horny.
I stopped watching porn for good. My doctor had given me a prescription for generic Viagra, which I used in small amounts. My aim was to get into a "positive cycle". In the beginning I couldn't even have sex after taking a boner pill! Then eventually I could perform with them, and finally, after more than two porn-free months, I've had sex without any medical aid, and will probably continue to do so! I feel so relieved.
Judging from the number of replies on this thread, it seems that we're talking about a very serious issue. I live in Europe, and haven't come across much public discussion or research concerning porn-induced ED. While we're waiting for definitive scientific evidence, I encourage everyone to *stop* looking at porn. There's really nothing to lose if you do. For me it was a decision between a healthy relationship and jerking off alone in front of a computer. Which one of these do *you* prefer?
I can relate to this statement because I'm 43. Although looking back, there were big signs of problems I'd say beginning in my early/mid 30s, I could still perform quite well and like others it never occurred to me the damage I was doing. Then there was an episode at 37 when it just wouldn't work, but I blamed it on all the partying I did that night, and the next morning I was fine. But then, at 38 - I started seeing more consistent performance problems - and finally at 39 - BAM - it hit me like a ton of bricks! And I have been struggling ever since (stopping the P was really the easiest part - its all the other stuff that has been difficult for me).
I only discovered ybop last year - on the one hand its comforting to know there are others that can relate to this, but its also sad to see so many guys suffering from the effects of long term PMO. But man - if you are 20 years old - your brain is still developing and you are still growing - you have "caught" things before its too late.
I know they say younger guys take longer to recover - but man I've been fighting this 4 years and sometimes I feel like I've made no progress. Harder to teach an old dog new tricks I guess. I think a 20 year old has so much time to recover - just be strong and stick with it. What's so ironic is that I'm now at a point in my life where I can afford to travel, do fun things, I'm fairly successful, have decent looks, and have plenty of girls to choose from. But I know I can't start a relationship because of this problem. Its like I'm forced to be alone. Talk about being depressed! It sucks. You're young dude - be glad you figured this out when you did instead of way down the road like some of us older guys.
Another small success story...
This nofap experience is just getting better and better. So yesterday morning I woke up a bit earlier than usual, gf was also awake. We chatted for a bit.
I usually want to get it on in the morning but Ive always felt this nervous hesitation of 'will i get it up\will i stay up' and the general pent-up anxiety that sex is wierd. I've felt these feeling for so many years and it scares me off 70% of the time. Even when I do get it up its 95% shitty sex in spoon position till i go soft after like 3 minutes, stupidly unsatisfying for us both im sure.
This morning though i just felt really connected and just started making out. It felt really good and I got rock solid fast. We started having sex and it was just relaxed, and fun. We were even chatting and lauging at some points then getting hot and heavy ... We went through a bunch of positions super smoothly with no nervousness or hesitation, it all just felt so natural! We shared that experience for almost an hour, I stayed solid the whole time.
Its definately the most beautiful sex I've had in MANY years, and I expect it will become the norm from now on. Gf left on a business trip so I havent gotten a repeat yet but I feel totally transformed and happy. I feel like maybe I'm not broken anymore and have a healthy sexual vibe. This nofap is really the greatest gift i could possibly ask for!
Thanks for your support and sharing all your stories, its really helped me to stay on track during the rough days!
ED induced through use of porn
That's right gents, it's the terror-term; Erectile Dysfunction
A large part of me wonders why the hell i'm writing this post, it could well just result in mockery and mickey-taking. But then on the flip side there's the fact that from a quick Google, it looks like a lot of people have experienced this but due to lack of knowledge on the matter have suffered as a result. As someone who has experienced the horror that this affliction evokes, even if one person who's suffering but hasn't realized the cause is able to resolve the issue as a result of reading this then it's worth the mockery.
So a short back story (to hopefully prove I'm not a weirdo and this, in fact, can happen to anyone), I had been in a relationship since I was 18. Aside from a short 'crisis breakup' we had been together for eight years in total and never had issues 'in the sack' been encountered. For reasons that are too complicated and frankly uninteresting to go into, the relationship ended. As someone who too easily becomes attached to women, but also felt that I needed time to be single, I opted to abstain from one night stands and dating as a whole until I felt ready to commit again. Opting instead for treating social occasions as time to spend with friends and family rather than go on the pull, I felt that I was able to really grow as a person in the past year. Unfortunately as a typical red-blooded male, this also predictably left rather strong urges; urges I felt the need to quell.
This leads us to the crux of the story; I turned to pornography. At this point I feel I must stress I was not into anything weird, this was just bog standard, run of the mill pornography that I bet the vast majority of us here have, are or will access/ed. Whilst I will happily admit my frequency of 'use' increased as time passed, I never became what I would call addicted or viewed it excessively. I even viewed porn when I was in my long term relationship, but this was alongside having sex with my partner.
Skip forward a year, I felt I was ready to be with someone again. Fortunately it didn't take long for me to find someone I really get along with and, after a few dates (as you would expect from a respectable lady ) the relationship took the next step. All was fine, we had a couple of very great nights together and I was happy... or so I thought. After a couple of weeks I started to struggle to get aroused, things I took for granted such as erections when I woke up in the morning (sorry, too much information I'm sure; but you will see why this fact is important later) mysteriously ceased. My sex drive plummeted and as a result, so did intimacy in what should be the most exciting stage of a relationship. I was in trouble.
This worried me so much I went to the doctors, something which I try to avoid at all costs being a typical male. The doctor quickly understood my symptoms and even described a few that I was having, but had not associated with my problem. She was able to explain the resolution of the issue and was even able to give a time frame before things returned to normal, so what was it?
That's right, erectile dysfunction caused through use of pornography. I'm not a biologist but from her discussion what I've gleaned is that porn causes our brain to react differently to when experiencing 'natural sex', producing a way higher level of dopamine, effectively causing your sex drive to become addicted and making it harder and harder for you to get hard (pun intended) under normal circumstances.
But I had stopped watching porn as soon as I started seeing this new girl and at first things were fine, this made no sense? Surely I should have become MORE excitable? This brings me to the cure and the horrifying 'come down':
Quit porn, cold turkey. Sounds simple right? It turns out the effects of the come down can be surprising:
First few days - Massive sex drive.Symptoms - Horny, horny, horny
Generally no problems will present in the first few days, you will however be incredibly horny which seems logical due to removing pornography from your life. Arousal and intercourse aren't an issue.
Second week - Complete shut downSymptoms - Complete loss of sex drive, depression, anxiety (all three quoted from doctor)
This is the one that shocked me. Many people have the experience of your sex drive completely shutting off; you no longer get aroused physically, despite still very much wanting to have sex. This is the point where I realized there was a problem. Instinctively you feel the need to turn to pornography to regain your sex drive, this is exactly the wrong thing to do as you return to square 1.
Up to 8 weeks - full recovery.Symptoms - Return of sex drive, much greater ease of arousal than before quitting.
I guess this depends on the level of your porn use and the extent of the duration, but many seem to state that 8 weeks porn free will see you back to having the sex drive of a horny teenager. I'm only two weeks in and have got past the 'complete shut down' and feel my return to form approaching. Apparently once you're back on form, resuming watching porn at a much reduced rate will not cause problems, but returning to high frequency use will see you needing to get your high density dopamine fix in no time.
So why not just continue using porn and resume an active sex life without the fuss? A quick Google will show you that hundreds of people who have been viewing porn excessively for an extended period begin to have ED issues whilst continuing use. Eventually it often leads to men needing to 'up the excitement' and view more and more extreme pornography just to get excited, leaving any chance of arousal in normal conditions by the way-side.
A few anecdotes and some helpful advice can be found all over the net, this is one useful example:
If you're that guy, if you take a lady home for the evening and are unable to perform and assume its nerves, if you're unable to become aroused without physical stimulation, have another think about the situation... you could well be addicted to porn
/Dons mockery-proof suit
I suffer from this.
When i was a teenager i fapped like any other teenager and my erections and arousal triggers were pretty normal for someone of that age. I lost my virginity at 16 and had one more encounter when i was 19 and then didn't have sex for another 5 years after that as i never had confidence to engage with women and i wanted to wait for the right one(big mistake as i shall explain later!).
Within those five years i discovered the internet and the wealth of porn available and i would watch it on a daily basis, increasing in its weirdness over the years beacuse it started not to do much to me in the way of arousal. It got to the point that by the time i was about 22 my erections were half as hard and much harder to get. It was quite worrying to be honest but it didnt affect me until i met my ex when i was 24.
We got together and when it came to the standing and banging i just couldnt get an erection at all, i even went so far as trying a penis pump and viagra to try and get it to work but it was awful. My ex as i later found out was a complete fruitcake and didn't help matters at all. She would have a go at me because of it and even used to say " my other boyfriends never had this problem when ****ing me".... :/ As you can imagine she just compounded the problem and sex was quite a rare thing. It did improve over time but it was never great.
In the end we broke up as she was quite abusive towards me and i ended up meeting someone else, my current fiancee and within a month or so of being with her, my problem was so much better because she never put me down or made a deal of it. My porn habits are much improved, i'll only watch it once a week or two weeks when shes not here and it's helped a lot. I'm still not anywhere near where i was 10 years ago as my erections aren't super hard and i can't keep going for too long (another symptom watching porn just to get rid of it quick so to speak) but my sex life is much more normal than it was.
I'd advise people not to watch it too much as it really does change your perception