ED Recovery Stories 6

I'm a few weeks ahead of you and I felt the same way you are feeling when I was at 50 or 60 days! There is a feeling of emptiness and you think "Great, I've come this far. What's next?"

For me it took close to 12 weeks to notice more changes. This doesn't imply that you will be fully recovered at the same time but it may give you some idea about when another turning point may occur. My best advice is to stay off the porn and begin spending time with women. Don't be focused on finding a partner, instead just appreciate the friendly interaction. If you expose yourself enough, there should be plenty of women who will give you signals. Thanks to being off 2D-stimuli, you are capable of reading these signs now.

Best of luck!

wow - Huge erection today just from sitting and thinking of bikini girls, have not had this for years!

One month - Orgasm sensation have doubled 

Did not expect this but gradually started to notice my orgasms getting more and more powerful and last one was just mindblowing - never ever could i achieve that level of unreality by fapping. Although had some ED on the way but it is fading out already and i feel the confidence rising again from the drop that was caused by the recent ED's after quitting Fapping.

While i have not met none of you - fellow fapstronauts - i feel a strange connection between MEN that are on the same mission. That helps.

Tons on her shirt, huge glob on her neck and she made a weird noise I've never knew a human could make and left immediately. I'm trying to be as humorous about it as I can but my younger brother(18) saw her coming down the stairs with it on her shirt. Both him and my dad have cackling like hyenas all day today when I'm around. Don't think I'll live this down for awhile and this isn't the way I expected my family finding out about my recovery(didn't plan on telling them anyway). Besides this incident I've feeling like a champ focused is the best word, won't ever look at P again and don't want to. This site helped me get through this problem that destroyed my sex life and I never really planned on posting, just looked at the forum when I had bad cravings in month 1. But, reading the rebooting accounts really helped and I felt I had to give my bit. As embarrassed as I am, I'm not worried as I'll be going back to Fort Jackson soon and I really don't care who knows back in my home state.

Happy as ever even though I nutted prematurely nutted all over this girl. Still better than where I was.

Good luck guys.

Hello everyone! This is my 1st post so I really hope so that I haven't posted it in the wrong place.

I have been visiting this forum for a month now, and I was seriously astonished how ignorant I was to think that porn couldn't possibly have any bad side effects. What a catastrophic misconception that was! Anyway, I will share with you some of my experience:

I'm 26 years old and have PMO'd from my early teens, but excessevly for last 8 years. At first it was just imagination and fantasies and later on, I have introduced some porn as well. Over the last decade I have had several girlfriends, and I have really noticed that in some particular cases my interest in them was quite low when it came to having sex. In some cases I would emphasis my bad performance as well, but never actually realized that it was porn to blame for the most of it. It really seems like your brain has a totally different expectations about sex when it is so much porn induced. My problem in general was that I could easily spend a couple of hours watching porn (with ease to M and O) and then have some real difficulties to get aroused by a real girl. In some occasions, even if I could get full erection, I could hardly maintain it during the whole intercourse. It was like my whole brain and my whole body become too LAZY when it came to actually satisfy any of my and my girlfriend sexual needs. It was like it expected that someone else would jump in and do all the work for me. I have even used the "work" word...it should never be a work, but a serious pleasure. When you watch too much porn, your brain gets so numb, without you actually realizing it. Your sexual desire rapidly drops and you can't get a proper arousal by the real girl anymore...no matter how hot she may look. This whole thing comes from the 2D visual stimuli instead of the all sense experience. The bottom line is that after a some time, you don't even enjoy it at all...you just feel a need to watch it...like a true drug!

I have a wonderful girlfriend right now, and I really want this to work out. Ever since I dropped my porn usage over a month ago, I felt almost instantly (after a few days) that my desire and interest in her rocketed. So, I am on my 33rd day now from the start of my recovery. I have cut off all porn. I still feel a strong urge to fantasize and I do it sometimes. During this period I have cut off self masturbation and orgasms. Had a few O's with my girlfriend, when she was pleasuring me orally. I don't want to go for the full intercourse yet, but I can tell you this already: my arousal level, pleasure and general mood have all rapidly improved in the past month. So, my plan is this: no porn for life, no self masturbation in the near future and orgasms only with my girlfriend. Really hope that will do what it takes for a decent recovery!

Good luck all! 

It has been some time since I have posted in this forum. I have been on this journey for several months; I discovered yourbrainonporn in mid-July. It has not been the easiest road in the world, but probably one of the most fulfilling. Sometimes I reflect on how far I have come, and am astonished really. I laugh at memories of my addicted self. I really needed porn everyday, and looked at porn in some compromising places. Turned down multiple gorgeous women. It makes you into a loser really: always trying to be alone, and not caring about interaction. Probably the worst thing in my mind is that I was not compassionate. I was too busy PMOing to help other people even family members.

Anyway the real update in this post is that I did have sex around a week ago. I used to have ED, but I can genuinely say that I am cured. I was kissing a girl who I have had in my room on multiple occasions, but I had not made a real move on yet. I did not in the past because I did not think we have long term potential. But, if you have a girl in your bed on multiple occasions with the lights off, something is bound to happen. So, we were kissing, and clothes start coming off. My erection was hard the entire time without issue. Its funny because I remember thinking during the moment, Its going to go soft as some point. However, my erection was there every time I looked down; I was checking every so often lls. Sex is good, and not stressful when your erection is good. My ejaculation was crazy too; she said it was the most she had every seen lls.

All in all, the process works. Its worth it. Its worth the wait. PMOing is a waste of life. Hopefully everyone else gets to my point and beyond. Good luck.

Today is day 35 with no PMO. I am feeling like I have this one by the tail and am not going to turn loose!

Was able to enjoy Saturday night with my wife and see that everything is again working properly. The numbness, the delayed or nonexistent ejaculation... all remedied! Did not experience a major chaser effect so far.

What PMO robs from a person is so not worth it. The guilt, the inability to have an intimate relationship with your spouse etc is way too high a price to pay for essentially nothing. The information at YBOP is AN INCREDIBLY VALUABLE WAKE UP CALL TO REALITY!

Here is a short link on a helpful post from Zenhabits. Topic is not PMO but it really applies for me.

http://zenhabits.net/watch/#more-9036

Post written by Leo Babauta.

I’ve learned a lot about changing habits over the years, and have taught thousands of people how to do it.

The hardest habits to change, by far, are the ones people can’t seem to control. They want to change, but can’t seem to find the “willpower” (a term I don’t believe in).

For me, some of the things that seemed out of my control: smoking, eating junk food, overeating during social occasions, procrastination, anger, patience, negative thoughts.

I learned one little secret that allowed me to change it all: When you are aware, you can change it.

OK, don’t roll your eyes and stop reading yet. That secret might seem obvious to some, or too simplistic. So let’s go a bit deeper.

When we have urges to eat something we know is bad for us, we often give in. But is it that simple? The truth is that our mind is actually rationalizing why we should just eat that cake, why it’s too hard to not eat it, why it isn’t that bad to eat it. It asks why we’re putting ourselves through pain, why can’t we let ourselves just live, and don’t we deserve that treat?

All of this happens without our noticing, usually. It’s quiet, in the background of our consciousness, but it’s there. And it’s incredibly powerful. It’s even more powerful when we’re not aware it’s happening.

It beats us all the time — not just with eating, but with anything we try to do and end up quitting, caving in, doing it despite our best efforts.

How can we defeat this powerful force — our own mind?

Awareness is the key. It’s the start.

1. Start by becoming aware. Become an observer. Start listening to your self talk, observe what your mind does. Pay attention. It’s happening all the time. Meditation helps with this. I also learned through running — by not taking along an iPod, I run in silence, and have nothing to do but watch nature and listen to my mind.
2. Don’t act. Your mind will urge you to eat that cake (“Just a bite!”) or smoke that cigarette or stop running or procrastinate. Listen to what your mind is saying, but don’t act on those instructions. Just sit still (mentally) and watch and listen.
3. Let it pass. The urge to smoke, eat, procrastinate, or quit running … it will pass. It’s temporary. Usually it only lasts a minute or two. Breathe, and let it pass.
4. Beat the rationalizations. You can actively argue with your mind. When it says, “One little bite won’t hurt!”, you should point to your gut and say, “Yeah, that’s what you said all those other times, and now I’m fat!” When it says, “Why are you putting yourself through this pain?”, you should say, “It’s painful to be unhealthy, and it’s only painful to avoid the cake if you look at it as a sacrifice — instead, it can be a joy to embrace healthy and delicious foods, and fitness!”

There are lots of times when “willpower” fails us. These are the times we need to become aware of our minds.

When we are aware, we can change it. This is a small secret, but it’s life changing. It changed my life, because I can now change anything. I watch, and I wait, and I beat it. You can too.

Thanks again

First of all I am Really glad i came over to this web. I always thought i am the only guy who was having this Problem.

i am 27 years old, masturbating since I was 16 and from the last 7 years I started using the porn to masturbate, a lot of different porn categories... I almost know the names of more than 20 female Porn stars.lol.

To get to the point.. I got married in 2008 even though it was a Distance marriage.. and she used to visit me at 2008 April she came to visit me , I didn't know I had ED issues.. and let me remind u from 2005 i didn't had sex with a woman just masturbating.. I always preferred the pleasure that i can give myself.. so in 2008 when I got married and i realized I had ED issues, I was only getting hard when she gives me head.. and when I am on Top of her, I used to do it fast so that i don't get soft or loose erection which leads to ejaculation, but when she is on control she loves doing it slow which makes go limp, and she looks at me when I go soft, and she is like what the hell man.. what is wrong?.. I am a fitness freak so I gave her the excuse that I used STERIODS.. which I never did.. just to cover up my shame .. I used to take Viagra secretly..sometimes came perfectly and sometimes i ended up in an epic fail..( I mean like when we wake up and she needs sex.. like when we come back from hanging out.. there was sometimes that I didn't got my secret weapon ready, I mean which I didn't take viagra.. it ends in fail)

Long story short, we had a big fight (related to family problems)... it got ugly, and I gave her a divorce.. in 2009.. I was a jerk and I emotionally hurt her.. but man I am telling u.. if a woman knows your weak spot.. she will hit u right there.. she started emailing me and talking about my erection problems.. like lets us see what your family says about when i tell them that u couldn't sexually perform .that u couldn't satisfy me... and she used to make jokes about it before we even fought and Divorced.. like sometimes when I start to kiss her and touch her boobs .. she looks at me in a disguise ( just that look in her eyes, used to kill me deeply) and in a joke way used to say.. Hey, Don't start something u can't finish.. and it Kills me deeply.. but I got mad at my self.. cos I knew I did this to myself..

I swear to god, I even thought about getting a tattoo done on my Balm.. written in a Chinese as a reminder message like DON'T DO IT, BE A MAN,.. so that I can see and stop myself when i am getting off the track.. No I am not from China.

Anyway.. before I came to this web .. I knew porn and masturbation was the only problem that caused my ED. .. so I decided on my own, and started to stop watching porn/masturbation.. After a month i couldn't go on .. I masturbated to a SASHA GREY video.. now.. on 19.december it will be 2 months.. .. And I am feeling a lot better.. confident/happy/ . but I can't stop staring at woman.. even though i look at them differently now.. (before stopping porn/masturbation, I was like.. oh man, this ***** looks sexy, i wish if i can put my mushroom tip deep inside her walls and *** on all over her face..) All perverted porn mentality.. But now .. I enjoy their beauty in a totally different way.

So, guys ... u might not had a bitchy woman like my ex in your life.. totally Unsupportive.. but i am telling u.. that kind of woman can make u hate life, and hate ur self..

if a woman knows your weak spot .. she will hit you deep there, every time you had a fight with her.. or you say something about her.

And trust me nothing is worse than that for a man... so please for the sake of your inner peace and happiness .. and the great Manhood confidence u have when u know everything is ok there.. Quit Porn/masturbation.

By the way.. I never thought i will share this problem with anyone.. But I am glad I came through this community. I will keep posting my progress.. All the best Guys.

P.S. i met a very sexy Indian girl now... we are not in to sex yet.. but I will keep posting.

Hello fellow travelers, it has been 6 weeks since I have looked at any porn. And 5 weeks since I Masturbated and 4 days since I touched my penis.  Last night I had a very bad night. I could not sleep. Thoughts about porn scenes keep creeping into my head as I tossed and turned and tried to fall asleep. My hand would instinctively touch my self. It was a real battle to keep my promise to my not to touch it until I felt healed. I think my brain was trying to get me to go back to the old routine (PMO). The good news is that I held firm and did not indulge.

I hope this is a good sign that the healing is progressing. I have faith in this process. I am also beginning to understand how porn has affected my relationship with women.

Advice to other new guys like me, read all the material available here. There are a lot of to learn how you got screwed up. I wish I had found out about problem a long time ago. I have always heard and still read that masturbation is good for you. So I guess it is OK on a limited bases but not with porn. Your brain likes porn but gets bored easily and wants higher levels and more strange or weird stuff to keep the game going. I hate that this is taking so long.

Stay strong and don't give in to a brain wants back in the game.

I had inexplicable ED sometimes. First, with my GFs I would compensate by getting good at going down on them and delighting them and me with giving oral sex. But of course that doesn't replace intercourse and eventually I'd lose the girl.I got over this mostly when I first met a girl that I ended up marrying. I still have ED now and then for no particular reason but here is what helped me: The bottom line is  to realize that "I" had no control over my penis at all. It would do what it did. I realized that really and truly whether I ever maintained another erection in my whole life wasn't something "I" could dictate to my penis.

And I would watch and see what happened. My anxiety dissipated quite a lot from that and led to my losing my anxiety and resulting ED most of the time.

That realization led to a lightness that really helps reduce anxiety with regard to getting hard or not, in general. I just watch and see what happens with my penis and give it its life. Whether it wants to be erect or not is its business more than mine. It sounds strange but it really works this way.

Also I highly recommend you read about soft entry and karezza as this reduced my anxiety and opened up a new world that is far, far better than regular sex ever was. And this all de-pressurizes the situation because even if you can't perform at first, often you end up being able to perform by entering your GF while still soft and then seeing what happens. It's really great.

tl;dr: My ED is cured after only 8 days of PMO, at least it certainly seems like it!

Seriously? THREE YEARS of weak erections, going soft inside, having problems finishing, decreased ability to satisfy her, going soft with no recovery if the slightest hiccup occurred... the most recent SIX MONTHS of not being able to get it up at ALL no matter what fantasy she was willing to act out for me...

And all I needed to do was nofap (no PMO actually) for 7 days (as of last night) and the problem is solved? I mean I was as hard as a steel pipe, satisfied her like I haven't been able to for years, and could have kept going much longer if necessary.

I can't believe I let (fill in the blank) tube.com steal three years of my manhood.

No way I'm EVER going back to that!

8 days as of today! ED Cured! No P. No M. But a great mutual-O, with the woman I love.

Thanks NoFap!!!!

Note from YBOP - i asked this man if he was about 50 years old. He confirmed that he wired to the real deal for years before using Internet porn. His ED may have been largely psychological, rather than physical. His response:

You're exactly correct. I'm 50 years old. I've been in a very long-term relationship with a woman who I love very much. We've had many years of great sex.

Before that I had many years of masturbation to old-fashioned porn like Penthouse and Hustler magazine.

I'm assuming I have very deep pathways towards normal gratification. I guess I just fucked that all up with the Internet porn that's become available over the last 3 to 5 years.

I apologize for any typos. I'm using speech to text on my phone. I'm about to go meet a very happy and sexually satisfied woman for lunch!

MedHelp - Edrummond

Fellas fellas fellas!!!! Stick with this plan!!!...I personally felt like no one wanted to be cured more than me. I followed the plan and got my first opportunity to see if it worked. I honestly believe I had the worst case of p e n the world...10 to 40 secs. My erections have improved to about 85%. I am living proof that this stuff works but u have to be strong and restrain from all PMO activities. I had one relapse in 90 days but I got my chance see if it worked with a new girl. stamina was back like never before. I couldn't believe it!!! Had to give my feed back, hope it inspires someone...be strong and you will be rewarded.