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ED Recovery Stories 7
Submitted by admin on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 18:01
Guys hi.....This is my first blog to this site and hopefully first after I recovered. Today I completed my 8 weeks with one relapse to M...My brief history... I am healthy 28 years old male. I always had high sex drive. I was never involved in too much porn, for me it was always a glimpse or occasional viewing. I use to do 'M' almost daily before around 1.5 years. But life suddenly changed after august 2010 when I brought broadband connection. I use to watch extreme porn scenes and use to do "M"....6 months and I got hooked... Symptoms
- Libido-Almost zero, not turn on by real woman by any means. No urge to M or P.
- Tiredness-I almost cud not stand more than 15 minutes(Looks exaggerated but true)
- Brain fog- I always had brain fog and difficulty in concentrating.
- Social anxiety-Totally isolated.
- Low motivation- No desire to do anything.
I was totally screwed up, and was not finding a reason for this. Lately I visited a physician and she advised about low Vitamin B count, I completed 5 injection course about vitamin "B" but it dint help. It was a time when I was totally lost as i was always a very enthusiastic person with loads of energy in life, but what I was feeling was my energy is got totally "sucked" and I am person without "soul" a dead mass. It was really a "life dysfunction" for me, suicidal thoughts were often, as i was not getting the reason behind my devastated situation. One day on surfing net I got YBOP site and I started connecting the dots...Yes it was PORN who killed me like anything.....Life before broadband net connection and after it....It was period of almost less than 1year but..It ruined my life. I started to for 8 weeks without PMO and slowly started recovering, today i completed 8 weeks and noticed following differences
- Social Anxiety- Vanished, more confident now.
- Libido-Well i think I am in flatline now, but its stable after lots of ups and downs
- Brain fog-Vanished..I can concentrate pretty well.
- Relationships-I am flirting a lot hope get hooked to real thing soon.
I always had a doubt i viewed porn for just 1 year (compared to others who had years) before that i had active sex life...But yes today I got the answer it’s not the period which matters. What’s important is how u looked at "porn"... Guys at last I just wanted to say one sentence " Sexual energy is your soul...Your life...It’s what you are, never waste it for any reason...It can push u down in mess if u play wrongly and it also has strength to escalate you to your dreams" all the best and stick to your PMO plans it DEFINITELY works!!!
Just looking to share my story with someone. Its so hard to find someone I can share this with. Hopefully I can garner some help/encouragement from this community. I hope that in writing this I can help myself forget the past and move on to brighter days.
I started using porn as a 15 yrold. Same as most of you, I used it once daily. Sometimes multiple times. I never let myself get into any kind of extreme porn.
I did notice that over time it took more and more windows of porn to get me excited. Then it came to where i needed a specific genre, or position. I once caught myself looking up obscene types of porn, and then I convinced myself to take a break before it got worse.
My troubles started when I got to college. (this is the part i really wish i could talk to someone about) My freshman year, my penis just shriveled up. I had trouble going to the bathroom. And the overall condition of my penis was just dead. My balls shrunk in, and were rarely hanging out like they used to.
I knew then something was wrong. I found though that i could use fetish porn and i would acheive an erection despite the condition of my member.
This led to a pegging fetish. I found that when I stimulated my prostate I could ejaculate. So i started doing this, even though I could not maintain an erection or ejaculate from normal masturbation. This part of my spiral really messed with my head. I was confused as to why i could ejaculate from anal stimulation but not from normal masturbation.
This caused me to question sexuality at times. I am sure i am straight, but the first time I orgasmed from anal stimulation alone I felt so guilty and weird.
I continued doing this until it lost its novelty and become hard to ejaculte from anal stimulation. I felt as if my prostate had become empty, and my testicles just didnt have anything left to shoot out.
This led to months of intense searching on the internet for answers. The day i stumbled across YBOP i felt like Charlie when he found he had received the golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory.
I realized what was causing the problem.
However it was around this time that I discovered reddit, and the novelty of places like r/jalbait and r/gonewild just caused my to return to masturbating. I eventually wore these things out and could no longer maintain an erection from it.
This is when i decided to get serioius about the procedure described here in NOFAp and also on YBOP.
I went for 3months without masturbating to porn, and this helped me return to normal. I felt alive, and my sexuality had returned. I could masturbate without porn. I would just get in the shower and my little guy would be ready.
This however lead me to feel overconfident and caused me to relapse. I started visitng r/gonewild again and it progressed to more porn. I hated myself afterwards, becuase I knew i had beat it, and i had recovered, and i could maintain normal erection, and i had a normal sex drive again morning boners and all....
I convinced myself that if I had anal orgasms it didnt count to i continued to prostate massage myself. But this made matters worse and recovery longer.
(if anyone is interested, i found that when you have a good prostate massage you lose all desire for sex for several WEEKS at a time, its like all of your manliness is taking out of you. Sometimes it even impossible to get an erection for days afterwards. I didnt understand these things at the time but now I do. If anyone is in a similar situation feel free to message me, i can tell you my experiences with it).
Currently i am about two weeks into my NOFAP adventure, and i already feel good. I have cut all kinds of sex stimulation out of my life.
I already had two morning boners this week. I set a date in January for myself. On this date if my body is ready, i will allow myself to fap once.
I don't plan on giving masturbation, I do plan on GIVING UP PORN. I plan on getting my sex drive back to normal. And then limiting my fapping to once a month.
Gentlemen, I know from experience that this reboot can be a strenuous task. There are some pleasurable highs and some demotivating lows. It has been over three and a half months since I decided to quit watching porn. My initial motivation was to get my erectile strength back. Over time, I came to understand that quitting porn is about nothing less than reuniting with your sexual self.
While reading others' stories and gathering information on yourbrainonporn.com I realized that my views about sex and even relationships had been seriously influenced by my over-use of pornography. Not only had this habit, along with my excessive masturbation, caused me to have corpulatory impotence, it had also greatly raised my expectations in terms of sex.
Just to avoid misunderstandings: I have always loved sex and I still do. I think it can be a satisfying and overall valuable aspect of life. During my years of excessive porn use, however, I expected there to be some kind of sexual tension in almost every interaction between men and women. I never consciously thought of it this way at the time but in retrospect, it seems understandable that watching so much porn and masturbating all the time seriously affected my views. I thought sex was the essence of life and that I needed it as a form of acknowledgment or approval. The best example of this, is my expectation in terms of dates: In the past I always considered it a failure when I didn't get any action. Now, I don't put as much pressure on myself or the date in general. I simply enjoy the friendly interaction with women - thereby raising my success rate with them considerably!
I also have been able to "perform" (for the lack of a better word) when it was needed. It. Was. Awesome! If you're sitting in front of your screen, thinking "Well, that's not me! I don't think of sex and women that way despite watching porn all the time!" Let me tell you, you may have some other issues related to your PMO habit. It seems to be different for everyone but so many men claiming to notice highly desirable changes can not be wrong!
I never would have recognized my aforementioned flaws during the time of PMO. Even if I did, I would not have attributed them to my PMO habt. I guess that's an addict's way of thinking. What I want to say is: You can overcome this addiction and it will be well worth your current suffering! Trust the process even in the most difficult of times and stick with it! You will get much more out of this than just healthy erections. You will be more capable of reconsidering some of your views and in the best case, you will even get a healthy sex life out of this!
I wish all you courageous gentlemen only the best during and after your reboot! Let me know if you have any questions!
I was in a very similar situation, cured my ED after about 2-3 weeks. For me, it was all about forcing myself to get used to the sensation of a real woman as opposed to fapping. Tips I read that helped
1) Relax when you're having sex, tense muscles will kill your erection.
2) Focus on the sensation. It might even help to close your eyes.
3) Try to please yourself, don't try to please your partner (at least not until you've conquered your ED). I've noticed whenever I try too hard I'll get anxious and lose my erection.
I wondered if you had any users who have recovered from ejaculation retardation through a reboot. Your site talks about ED ALOT, but I have struggled to find any mention of ER. My sexual therapist told me that it is a lot more common than I thought and is also linked with over-exposure to internet porn.
I masturbated from 14 onwards at least once a day, but usually more. I have always been a proficient computer user and had been accessing porn on the internet since at least the age of 16/17. I only became sexually active from 20 onwards (and after reading most of this site I understand perhaps why). However, I was never able to ejaculate. In fact I got little or no stimulation from penetrative sex at all.
Eventually at the age of 28 I went to the doctor who referred me to a sexual health expert and who in turn referred me to a sexual therapist. This was the best thing that ever happened to me. She had resources on masturbation and advised me to retrain my penis to get stimulation from a more relaxed grip. Eventually she gave me the ultimatum that really in order to resolve my issue I needed to refrain from masturbating to porn entirely and use my imagination only.
However, motivation wasn't my strong point and it wasn't until I found a good excuse not to masturbate (relocation weirdly) that I seriously attempted to refrain from the activity. One weekend I had a girl friend of mine visit and through a brave show on her part along with a lot of effort on mine it happened. Twice.
At 30 years old I had finally done it. Bad habits relapsed. However my participation on a dating forum pointed me in the direction of yourbrainonporn.com and it all clicked together. Here was the justification I needed to make a go of stopping permanently. So this is what happened three weeks ago.
Last week I hooked up with another female friend and we had sex in the backof my car. I reached orgasm literally within seconds. It was so liberating. I'm now very happy to continue my reboot. Things have started to improve socially. I'm having more experiences when going out where I am just on it. Present to the moment, having fun and vibing with people. I'm also relating to women a lot easier.
I had ED bad, I would be semi hard and sometimes hard, but upon penetration It was lost almost immediately. From someone who has failed miserably multiple times in the past at pleasing women, 39 days in and I'm now an AZTEC warrior in the sheets. She couldn't even handle me and my erections were so intense, so bye bye porn induced ED and hello to the new me :) I couldnt beleive that I could last hours like I use too in my young days. Stay strong, that is all!
I went through a couple flat lines...didn't have a consistent sexual partner. Started to feel like it wasn't going to be a problem around day 60. Had sex last night, ED gone, DE gone, performance anxiety gone, and the sensitivity was amazing.
Perfect sex. I seem to be 100% cured.
My girlfriend had been away for 2 weeks. She went onto her period the weekend before she left. So it had been 3 weeks since we had had sex. I started masturbating quite a bit when she was gone, albeit without porn and most of the time without fantasy. When I did fantasise I was thinking of her and our previous bedroom adventures or other girls I had been with in the past (no crazy porn style thoughts).
My sex drive seems to of gone up a lot since getting into this relationship. I realised masturbating regularly was unwise so stopped 4 days before she came back. I went round to hers in the morning. It was great to see her and have her back in my arms. Straight to the bedroom, undressing as we talked, laughed, catching up. I love how natural, comfortable, and laid back we are together. She told me she had abstained from masturbation for the whole two weeks. That's very unlike her. She said she was inspired by my reboot effort.
Her body was alive. It was almost like she was having sex for the first time. She was so sensitive and almost a little nervous. It was really cute. We had sex once and both collapse into a panting heap. Then again 30 minutes later. I had two O's. I was 100% hard throughout. What is odd though is that I had an erection about 5 minutes after I ejaculated. Usually that's me done for a few hours. We went to watch a film. Then came back and had sex again. I didn't O this time (long session).
Altogether this was the best sex of my life. I've now got to the point where I am no longer thinking about ED. I used to have this dialogue running in my head "Am I hard yet?", "Am I going to have a problem", "Ahh no she's going down on me, but I'm not going to be able to get hard". This has now disappeared. It seemed to take me a while to break through the backlog of negative experiences in my mind. Yesterday I was completely immersed and in control. No worries, no doubts. Just enjoying the experience. Amazing.
Finally after 130 days, i become a real man again.
This is such a great gift for me for the new year of 2012 I've been doing this reboot for more than 4 months without porn and masturbation, and until now I can confirm that my erection is fully recovered. I have had morning wood almost every morning this week, some lasted for 10-15 min, but some even for an hour.
I am just so happy and proud of myself now. Here are the details of how it happened. Like some other guys in this forum, i've been worrying a lot about why it takes so long for a complete recover even though i still believe that it will happen some day.
During this period, i have tried to test myself several times with no success. I watched video on youtube that has lil bit of sexual images, and masturbate without ejaculating. However, i stopped testing myself and tried to think positive. When i reached to 4 months period which is recently, i decided to do something different about it. What i did was almost every time i take shower, i gave my lil boy a light massage . I massaged the testicles and then did some light and slow strokes.
After about 1 week of doing that, i felt like my boy was responding better and better to my massage and strokes, and finally i got hard-rock morning wood. This is just my experience, but i am not sure it will work for everyone. But one thing i wanna say is that we have to stay strong and positive.
Sometimes i got upset and wanted to give up, but then i told myself "wtf dawg, you almost got to the top and now you to let go the rope and start at the bottom again". Then i think about the hard times that i had to go through countless unsuccessful attempts before this reboot, i see that 4 month periods is the best achievement of my life, and nothing can compare w/ it. I had to fight myself a lot during this time, and i did it.
I have a lot more to say, but i ll stop here. Remember that the main key in this journey is to find the right motivation !!! Alrite good luck to everyone here, and let's believe that we all can make it, the only difference is the matter of time I am always here if anyone needs help !!
After about 80 days of no PMO I had sex, and the chaser got the better of me. The sex was great and I saw a lot of improvements - firm erection, increased sensitivity, etc. But I binged and watched porn for hours the next day. In the past week I've had about four PMO sessions and had sex twice. I definitely felt a difference after watching porn, e.g. I struggled to maintain an erection, decreased sensitivity, typical shit.
Quick update for those who read this. I am just about to go to bed at the end of Day 92. I had successful sex with Rachel last night.
Erection was maintained for about 25 minutes, although the last 5 minutes of that it got softer and softer. Initially though I just spent time looking at my penis as it is the first time in about half a decade that I have seen it at 90+% hardness. It felt great. I achieved it with very minimal manual stimulation from Rachel using the lightest of touches for no more than a few seconds. I didn't touch it at all.
I am more convinced than ever that everyone starting out on an abstinence journey needs to commit to doing at least 100 days. Why do I say that? It's only since about Day 88 that I feel that I have begun to ascend out of a 6+ week flatline.
By all means break the goal down into milestones to make it more achievable. Do something similar what I did as well and set yourself up a calendar on a spreadsheet and tick off each day once it is complete. Think about how well the abstinence is going and how clean you feel for not succumbing to PMO. It's better to think about feeling clean, wholesome and how you're motivated to do other things and that you have increased vitality ad zest for life than it is to think about how much you want to jerk off.
I also say that people should aim for triple figures because if you can accomplish that goal then you're well on your way to making a long term life change. You're abandoning the quick fix mentality and really thinking about your life beyond the bedroom.
I would say to people just starting out, not to worry if they don't see changes for a couple of months. If you have been PMO'ing for 10 years as I have (only about the last 4 or 5 were really bad) then 3 or 4 months abstinence is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
I should probably state that I am still counting days because the sense of achievement I get from ticking off another one is incredible. I am aiming to make it through the whole of 2012 without relapse. The fact that I am nearly in triple figures tells me that the good habits are already ingrained and that I have nothing to fear. I could be PMO'ing right now as I am online, it's late at night and I am home alone. But I'm not. I literally have no interest. P and M seem boring, pointless and alien to me now.
Whilst I am orgasming relatively infrequently with Rachel, I am still eliminating porn, masturbation and fantasy. I am, long term, aiming to never do them again. They are a waste of productive energy, both physical, mental and emotional. They screw you up more than you know. It only becomes apparent how badly the affect you when you begin to recover and discover that you're a much more capable and confident human being than you ever imagined.
I went to the cinema at the weekend and watched Shame starring Michael Fassbender. Brilliant. There are some pretty graphic sex scenes that would be too much for many people here, but apart from that, I would say that it's a must watch once you are recovered. He has his life together with a well paid executive job and a swanky flat, but just beneath the surface and the well manicured exterior is a vulnerable, lonely man, full of anger being suffocated and driven to despair by the sexual addiction that is gripping him. Porn, cam sites, women, prostitutes, gay men, strangers, passers by. You see him watching porn, masturbating. You see him hating himself but not being able to do anything about it because he is powerless.
The best scene of the film is when he tries to sleep with a female colleague that he has been on a date with but can't get it up because it's emotional, it's gentle it's potentially loving. Then he gets a prostitute in once the woman has left to attempt to fulfil his needs.
As I say, it's definitely too much for someone trying to abstain, but it is exactly what this site and YBOP are all about. It's a very stark look at something that obviously plagues many people whom you would never suspect as having such a problem. Good luck to all fellow abstinence warriors. Just take it one day at a time. Be pro abstinence rather than anti PMO. It's a much more positive and easy going mind set.
Alex: " I will even watch porn to take the beast head on, but don't masterbate to it. I was very erect as she performed oral, but it went down as soon as she stopped and had to jerk myself to stay erect" --If I'm wrong forum members "fire at will"
Alex the porn you are watching has and still is altering your brain & you are still masturbating just not while watching porn. Having to jerk yourself in an attempt to stay hard means you are still suffering from the PMO condition. You have to banish porn like it is poison. It’s like at person who smokes crack stopping and then sniffing coke. They are still a slave of the same addiction.
I'm telling you, YOU CAN STOP you have to dig in deep and find the will power within you. I used to masturbate like I needed it to live; now I hardly think about it. I look back and wonder why I was so damned hooked on it.
I've had sex a few times since my reboot and its totally different now. I had an excellent encounter with this very sexy young lady and afterwards my head was spinning from the release. I had not felt that sensation in YEARS!!!! It’s important that we understand that this is an addiction and we are going to try to psyche ourselves out to be able to give in to it. I used to masturbate at least EVERY night before falling asleep for years and I stopped cold turkey. In the beginning I was tempted but I resisted.
Now I don't even think about it because I know the dark side of doing it. I'm 45 years old and I had a F&^#ing wet dream 2 weeks ago I seriously was like WTF!!!!!! I had not had one in so long I can't remember. Rebooting WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
So today was day 87 of no PMO so I decided to masturbate as I had abstained for the recommended 12 weeks. In the past I used to have to basically just use a couple of fingers and stimulate the center of the shaft as jerking with my whole hand did nothing.
This time jerking with my whole hand worked wonders and without fantasizing at all I came pretty quickly. What I think happened was that I had densensitized parts of my penis that would have been stimulated under normal circumstances. Now with normal sensitivity, jerking off like most people do was a great experience and the actual sensation was all I needed to get off.
I remember a few years ago I was having sex with an ex girlfriend and I remember almost getting bored as thrusting wasn't doing much for me. Actually the first time I got off from a blow job a different girl gave me, I remember I had to think about porn.
Now, with my sensitivity restored I get it. Sex doesn't require thinking. You shouldn't have to strain to get off. The sensations themselves are what should get you off. I realize that you can't refrain from masterbating forever so now I think the plan is to not do it more than once every six weeks. That way I'm not dulling my senses down there but I'm not depriving myself completely.
Thank god for this site as I now realize how addicted I was and how it was affecting me. I knew I was doing well abstaining before but now that I've masterbated and ejaculated based entirely on sensation I can say that things have officially turned around for the better. As Bill Murray once said, today is tomorrow. This marks the end of a very long day...
-Age 23: Started using porn heavily around age 18 after a bad break up.
-Used to have successful sex with my high school girlfriend no problem. -After not dating for 2 years I finally started seeing some other girls. -There were 3 girls total that I made it into bed with, all really attractive young girls. -Couldn't get hard. Even if I did get hard I would lose it pretty quickly. -This sucked. A lot. Huge blow to my already low confidence. Severely depressed.
-Led me to start seeing escorts (expensive prostitutes I guess you could say). -This was party to test myself, and partly an extension of my addiction. -Problem persisted with the escorts. Could not stay hard. They had to use their hands to make me cum.
Reboot attempts began in November 2011 -After a couple of relapses after single digit attempts, I relapsed in mid-December after a 3 week run of no PMO. -During this 3 weeks I felt AMAZING! I was no longer stressed, angry, anxious and everything else that I had become. Felt like I was on track to beat my addiction and I was incredibly happy.
In January I decided to test with two escorts: On Wednesday the 11th of January the first girl came out to my house. Holy shit.. I was able to get hard... And stay hard... And I was actually able to orgasm while inside her (with the condom on of course). Oh my god!!!!! I know it was with an escort that I had to pay, but this was the first time I was able to orgasm with a girl without her having to use her hand! I was so so happy.
The next day I went to visit the porn star at her hotel. My erection strength was not as strong as the day before (I would say 70-80%), but I managed to stay hard and came inside her as well. I left with a giant smile on my face.
22 yo , fappin since 12 .now on day 45
this is is so cool! my dick also looks BIGGER now when the blood flows trough my penis. last night i was dancing with a girl for 15 minutes was really horny and got a constant boner. so happy with this i think rewiring with a girl FAST FORWARDS a PIED recovery
also less anxiety , more confidence, concentration, motivation and other activities seem more exciting
stay strong this shit is awesome
Some things I learned: - Every time I go approximately 10 days or more without masturbating and watching porn I can maintain a decent erection during sex. This means that abstaining from masturbating and porn usually "cures" me, but the erections are still very far from ideal. - Visiting prostitutes is extremely similar to watching porn. Both of them give you lots of novelty. Both of them are very addictive. Both of them are easy. Both of them neglect feelings and bonding behaviors.
- During periods when I masturbate frequently to porn I always suffer some kind of erectile dysfunction when having sex, unless the escort has some specific physical attribute that excites me a lot (like an incredible ass or super big tits). Since regular women aren't usually that hot, you can assume that as long as you keep masturbating and watching porn you'll always have trouble maintaining erections during sex.
- When going for a reboot, quitting prostitutes is a must. I have tried quitting porn and masturbation without quitting prostitutes and it's just not possible. It leads to relapses/binges and you end up spending a lot of money. - You will be tempted to "test your erection" with prostitutes. Don't bother. Trust me, your dick will get hard. Save your time and money. You'll think you're cured since you got hard and then you will use that as an excuse to watch porn and masturbate, since you can always "abstain for a couple of weeks and go back to normal".
Getting hard does not mean that your brain is balanced and you're good to go. I believe that sooner or later we all have to go through a long period of no PMO in order to restore our brain balance and go back to normal.
90 day report: Holding back a primal urge is not easy. That’s what all of us are doing with NoFap. Any urge that strong is going to be a difficult animal to cage and train. NoFap isn’t just about curbing a detrimental PMO habit, what we’re really doing is learning how to control ourselves.
My reason for doing the reboot as stated in my journal on Day 1 (November 10, 2010): Day One: The goal is to weaken my brain’s neuron pathways responsible for porn enjoyment. I had porn induced ED, and suffered it with my last 7 partners. I failed to perform in a real-life threesome with two women. So there’s that.
I found YBOP on this subreddit and watched as it described my problem perfectly. I read some success stories. I decided to commit that day (having already fapped of course to some probably hardcore stuff) and deleted all my porn. 90GB nicely sorted and organized. I had a fear to perform in the bedroom ever since my first long-term girlfriend and I broke up 5 years ago. When we fought, she would often insult me then shut me out. The attacks were personal, but not always sexual.
Once we separated, I began fapping heavily to all kinds of porn. This developed into the problem I feel I have now conquered. Over the last 3 months, I have noticed large changes in my thinking that I believe are directly related to my reboot:
Day 1: I was more afraid to perform with a woman then I was to just fap. Now: I’m afraid to fap but plan on fucking the brains out of the next girl I meet.
Day 1: it would have been impossible for me to stimulate myself into a full erection without pornography. Now: I can get hard with just some thoughts and light touching. These erections last long even after I stop fantasizing.
This has been a great success. I’m grateful to everyone here for their threads and discussions. Without them, I wouldn’t have been able to actually quit PMO for good. This is a commitment now that I refuse to break.
After lots of effort, I managed to get to 90 days of no porn. My life improved a lot... I broke up with my girlfriend, had sex with 4 girls, found a new girlfriend. I was sociable, confident, etc. For some months I was having LOTS of awesome sex, but she had to go back to her country in January.
After she left...well, the porn/fapping cravings came back HARD. I was fapping 2/3 times per day and watching porn (something I hadn't done it in 6 months). It was all downhill from there: Loss of, didn't go out on the weekends, gained a bit of weight, etc. Then I got to have sex with another girl and...let's say it was a bit disappointing. I didn't "work" as well as I used to do without fapping.
So now, more determined than ever, I'm back at 5 days of nofap and feeling much better. For me the biggest danger is the 3 days after having sex or fapping. If you can get over that, it's a piece of cake. But the cravings after sex...f*ck that sh*t. I do lots oftoo, and fapping is definitely harder to stop.
So just be careful. Don't relapse. If you feel like fapping just go out and do anything you can to find real sex. Fapping isn't worth it
I know my problem is sexual performance anxiety caused by erectile dysfunction caused by porn. So when you break it down I wouldn't have sexual performance anxiety if I didn't have a porn induced erectile dysfunction. Therefore the root of my problem is porn that caused the ED and desensitization to real women, that is causing sexual performance anxiety.
Now that my ED is starting to get cured my confidence has increased therefore my sexual performance anxiety has also decreased. The sexual performance anxiety is in my head; however the ED is also physical and metal.
1. I look at women more
2. My penis is more sensitive, this probably related to a more physical level that I’m more sensitive to dopamine and my penis is growing more receptors
3. More motivation to talk to people
4. More motivation at the gym
5. Can't stop thinking about sex
6. I’m more attracted to women that used to below my standard
7. I want to talk to people more
8. I have a lot more confidence talking. I was already pretty confident however now it’s on steroids.
9. More energy If you think about an alcoholic addiction, the person gets angry and upset, and yells at their partner more than a normal person. They need more alcohol to get high. The problem is both in their head and physical. An alcoholic can't just be normal without first getting rid of the alcohol addiction.
So I couldn't have great easy sex, and no sexual performance anxiety without getting rid of porn and doing a reboot. Porn addiction you are abusing the natural sex process. You need more stimulation to orgasm and get a hard on. As time goes on you need more and more stimulation and more porn to get hard. Then a women in real life comes a long and nothing happens. Why? Easy too much porn and masturbation orgasm which lead to desensitization to women.
The problem is both physical and mental. Its physical because your penis isn’t sensitive to dopamine due to the decrease in receptors. That’s why you need more stimulation to get hard because you don’t have as many receptors as before. It’s PMO which lead to ED which is then leads to sexual performance anxiety. I’m going to do her that's for sure, and i will have a great story to tell you guys! I wrote a lot so other people that might have a similar problem can understand what's going on.
I agree that now my ED is starting to go away that my next problem is to tackle sexual performance anxiety.
When I started noticing ED when sleeping with women, I started getting really worried (I'm in my early 20's). I looked it up and found this website, watched all the videos, that documentary included and after only 2 weeks I can safely say that it has changed my life. I feel more confident than ever, women are more attracted to me, I'm seeing great improvement in the bedroom. Every day it gets better and I'm noticing how ridiculous I was being by being so attached to porn.
I never thought of myself as someone with an addictive personality because I eat well, almost no junk food, I never got hooked on any drug or anything. It's fascinating to me that I never -ever- considered my usage of porn as addictive. I've shared this with close friends and we're all doing the 'challenge', it's amazing the amount of positivity it brings.
I have been off of the rebalancing site for quite a while. No big reason, just loving life and, of course, sex! Just checking back in to assure you all that you are on the right path. I have been dating the same girl for 10 months now. The sex has been mind-blowing and it continues to get better every day.
If someone asked me what my secret to rock-hard reliable erections was I would simply tell them that it has been well over a year sinse I have viewed porn and basically 10 months since I have masturbated. I am almost 32 years old and I continually wear-out my 21 year old, track athelete, girlfriend in bed. I can make her cum vaginaly, which is something I used to have a lot of trouble with because I could rarely last long enough. We still don't live together officially yet. She stays with me usually in 3 to 7-day strethes.
During these visits, we usually end up having sex somewhere between 3 and 6 times a day. I have taken a, kind of hybrid approach to karrezza, mixing non-orgasmic sexual activities into the orgasmic sex routine. As good as the sex is, I am still succeptible to the coolidge effect and the allure of novelty. I have become attuned to my body and mind well enough to sense when my desire is diminishing. Luckily, though this usually means my erection might take a little more coersion than usual, these are the times when I can last forever in bed and really make her cum like crazy while preventing myself from cumming. I have many times experienced ejaculation without loss of erection and being able to go right back into sex after cleanup. I can literally last for hours. Please note that I am not trying to brag. I am simply trying to reassure all of you that NO PMO WORKS!!
I was probably as bad off as any of you. There were times that I wondered if I would ever get it up with a woman again. Preformance anxiety, vascular blockage, penis pills, testosterone levels..BULLSHIT!! Years of internet porn and excessive masturbation are the culprits, period.
If I knew that sex could be this good back in those days I would have thrown my computer out the window! Anyhow, if anyone needs some advice or just wants to chat with someone who has been through the fire and come out the other side, I'll be checking the forum more regularly for a while. Gary and Marnia are absolutly right about this stuff. Good luck and stay srong!
submitted 4 hoursago by BKNFTA
So here's a brief story of my past: Currently 21, fapped to porn since 14, had multiple girlfriends but with most of them (if not all) I had some serious ED kicking in during sexytimes. This ruined most of my relationships, and I thought I was doomed for the rest of my life.
/r/nofap and everything suddenly made sense. So I'm close to 3 months no PMO and daily Kegels, and last week I had a new girlfriend. Yesterday night she came at my house, and one thing led to another, we ended up making out naked in my bed. And guess what: NO FUCKIN' ED! Just kissing her was enough to get me hard, and that boner was like rock the entire time. Not only this, but I went for 20 minutes straight during intercourse before orgasming (Kegels, THEY DO WORK). This morning we went at it a second time, same thing again. Everything was freakin' amazing, and I kid you not: she cried from too much pleasure. I can't believe it myself. So to all nofappers that are trying to get rid of their ED, whether Porn-Induced ED, Death Grip issue, or even Performance Anxiety (mine was probably a mix of these 3), and are worried that it's not gonna work: IT WILL! Give it some time, 3 months might seem to be long, but it's absolutely worth it, and now porn and fapping don't even cross my mind anymore.
Thank you /r/nofap. This subreddit has changed my life in so many ways, and all for the better. Let's do an AMA in this thread, I'd like to help as many people as I can with my personal experience!
I wanted to share my story here briefly. (LINK TO THREAD)
I'm a musician in my late twenties, and I have had a problems with my sexlife ever since i can remember. Firstly, I have never had a real girlfriend, so you can also tell that I have not developed a healthy sexuality either. I have been masturbating more or less regularly since the age of thirteen, and while most of the time I didn't do it but maybe 1-3 times a week, there has been times when it was daily and even multiple times a day.
I had my first sexual encounter with a girl when I was around the age of 23, and after that i have had tens of short term sexual relationships ranging from one night stands to couple of months at the time. Especially in the beginning i used to develop a crush on the girls, but after several failures I learnt not to develop feelings and kept it very physical. I found out that it was very difficult for me to climax and usually it was only after a long time that i could orgasm, if at all. After a while I gave up on the orgasms and focused only on the women. As you can imagine, it got quite boring after a while, and the excitement of conquest after another got lower and lower.
Around 2 years ago I started to believe I have a problem with this, and began soul searching as an attempt to find out what is wrong with me. I found it difficult to develop feelings to women, and I began feeling like a lost cause and focused a lot on working and hobbies. I still went on dates, and even had one relationship with a good woman for almost 6 months, but it also dried up as it felt more like a friendship with sex.
Now last year I gave up drinkin almost totally, and began working out regularly and got into meditation & martial arts. Soon enough I began having some kind of visions about myself and new feelings, and I realized that it is probably the porn that is the main problem for me. I tried giving it up months ago but always got back to it after a week or so, as i was really yearning for that portion of dopamines. But at the same time I was going for more softcore porn, as the hard core stuff i had been watching was really disgusting me. Then i remembered the YBOP site and from there I navigated into this site. And I have to tell you, everything on this site is really making sense to me.
I gave up porn about 4 weeks ago, and haven't looked back since. These weeks have been kinda difficult for me still, as the withdrawal effects are massive! So far I have had insomnia, blue balls, aching penis, increased urge to pee and heavy mood swings. Also at times I feel so horny I don't know what to do about it! It's new for me, as previously i have linked that feeling to MOing - now I'm thinking about a real live female. I've managed to get aroused by just thinking about the girl I like! Also, I haven't even wanted to watch any porn, and if i have by accident seen a nude photo i didn't get the urge to MO. My morning woods have come back and they are massive :D Insomuch that it has almost been a problem for me.
I have also just recently met a girl that I seem to like. We haven't had sex or talked about it too much yet, but I seem to just enjoy being close to her, and feeling her energy when i'm holding her or dancing with her. My moodswings and insomnia are causing a bit of a problem though, as they make me sometimes crumpy, impatient and so on. And the time I slept with her in spoon, I had a hard on for the whole damn night - adding to the difficulty to get sleep
I'm hoping that this will get easier and that she doesn't judge me because of these, as for the first time in a long while I would like to go for a real relationship. I feel bad that I didn't manage to cut the porn out of my life earlier, but I'm trying to be happy that I finally did!
I'm 115 days in, success!! last night i was able to orgasm during sex for the first time in 10 years (2002, i was 23, i'm 33 now),
I never thought that would EVER happen again. the reboot works fellas, don't give up on it! porn truly ruined 10 years of my life & probably much more, who knows what & who i missed out on because i couldn't enjoy sex, my penis was basically numb to it because of porn, & usually never fully hard, especially if i went fast it would go wet noodle.
10 years of that!! i was withdrawn emotionally from every girl i dated, major walls up cause i knew i'd never have great sex again. self confidence shot, faking orgasms inside girls for the 10 years feeling very little pleasure, just frustration. well last night i did! a new chapter starts now, & the porn & death grip masterbation (masturbation) is gone,
I'll never go back, it robbed me of more than i can even imagine. but now i can enjoy sex again & rebuild my soul & confidence gradually. Thanks to this reboot, yourbrainonporn.com porn is more damaging than you can even fathom, do the reboot, stick with it, it works. i'm amazed, i NEVER thought his day would happen, orgasm during sex, staying hard through buildup. unreal. hope this helps somebody quit porn for good
I'll try to make this short and to the point:
PMO from Age 13 - 23
Go 60 days, M out of boredom which eventually leads to a relapse. (Although I relapsed, I am 100% sure the 60 days of abstinence was still beneficial in the long run.)
A few weeks later I go 60 days again, start MOing once or twice a week to no P obviously. I'd say its about day 85 now. The Ming in my experience helped to 'wake up' my sex drive.
- Wake up with consistent hard morning erections
- Now get hard while just making out with a girl
- MO'd twice yesterday before girl came over later that night, unexpectedly got head, was 100% erect entire time, no problem reaching O, sensitive, etc.
After last night, I can say I am definitely cured of PIED.
My most important piece of advice would be to meditate 20-30 minutes a day and do aerobic exercise for 60 - 75 minutes a week.
Your brain is your biggest sex organ and that is where all of these problems are arising; meditation and aerobic exercise are hands down the healthiest activities for your brain.
I'm past 90 days. Which where my original goal. I've had three relapses during this period. One major where I binges. That was two weeks ago.
I actually believe that you need to relapse. The experience and the opportunity to figure out why you relapse are vital if you're going to succeed long term. I've learned a lot from the relapses. I've learnt a lot from my relapses. Especially the last one.
So am I cured? No, or actually I don't now since I haven't had sex yet. Marnie keeps busting my balls to find some one to at least cuddle with. And shes right, but I've been making excuses. Someone please bitch slap me, I deserve it!
So I'm not cured. But I am ecstatic, I see women, myself and the world in a different way. My erections are back and they are back big time. Even to the point that Mr Johnsson keeps popping up out of nowhere in ordinary day situation. Awesome!!
The erections are between 90 - 98% strength and lasts. It's great!
Basically I'm saying that I'm convinced that this has been a life changer for me and the only thing is that I'm regretting is that I've lost a lot of years in the PMO-fog.
So I will keep this nofap/no pm(o) thing going.
I feel great!!
It's been 24 days. Since I started nofap, I hadn't had a chance to really see my girlfriend for a while, due to school starting up and us both being busy. However, yesterday when we finally got together, it was amazing. I was immensely interested in her, and I had no issues with ED. We had an amazing intimate night where I felt I could really show her how attracted to her I have always been. I do not believe that nofap is a magic cure that gives you the ability to attract women. I think that's silly and a bit misogynistic. But this was a real benefit of this program, and I'm happy to have experienced these results.
I just got back from a 5-day work conference. Normally I would have been fapping the entire time, but with a week already under my belt I was committed to no PMO while I was away. A little back story: I've been in a relationship for 5 years as of this past Sunday, and I've recently begun to wonder if the chemistry is fading. But that was before NoFap. When I got back from the conference yesterday I was exhausted physically and mentally. In the past that would have meant me backing out of sex, fully believing that the fatigue was the problem. But this time I discovered an inner reservoir of energy I never expected to find. The sex was incredible, passionate, and unbelievable.
I felt like I was 20 years old all over again. After 5 years of being "too tired" to have sex in times like these I now know the problem isn't about fading chemistry but about wasting my sexual energy fapping all the time. Thanks, NoFap! You just improved my relationship and revolutionized my sex life!!
Male, 23. I've been suffering from ED the past few years and just started NoFap after many years of porn and masturbation. Tonight I had my first PIV sex since starting NoFap, and glad to say, I think I've made it! This is not an encouragement at all to start masturbating after 19 days. I used to suffer from premature ejaculation as well and wearing a condom kills my erection. But tonight, I lasted a long time without premature ejaculation and stayed hard all throughout! What a life lesson! No more masturbation for me. Thank you,
So after 45 days without PMO, I had sex with a girl I've been going out for two weeks now. To be honest I was in a low libido period, not flatline but really low. Last week it was exactly the opposite. So I thought it would not happen. But at somepoint while kissing and caressing it got up. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my girlfriend knows about my problem and she also had her own reservations. This made me feel kinda relaxed, took away the performance anxiety.
Bottom line, the feeling was fantastic. I can't remember when was the last time that sex felt this good. I knew I could cum from the first two minutes, but I was able to postpone it. Before nofap I needed hours if not days (literally) to cum. Some people say that sex while recovering delays your progress. But I really feel I didn't force anything to happen. It just did.
And the most important thing is that I want to get rid of my previous ED problems. Having sex with a girl without using a pill is a great achievement for me, and a major confidence boost. This thing works. I am so glad I found this community, it keeps me going on. My most honest gratitudes.