Gary's Page

First, thank you very much for creating this site, especially for the videos. Truthfully, before this website I thought I was all alone with my mysterious ED. Thank you for revealing the true source of the problem. Today has been six officially days of no PMFO (but its been 9 days of no Orgasm). Last night was rough, I didn't sleep one bit. It was one fantasy after another. One stronger then the next. Every time I calmed myself and new one would shortly enter. Eventually I was consumed but was able to talk myself out. I did masturbate but without my hand and didn't orgasm. To help myself along this process I started a blog - http://nopmfo.blogspot.com/ . I link to your website and videos. Is there anyway to directly email you if I have a questions along the process? Thanks - nopmfo@gmail.com

Hello, I was wondering if its normal not to have many, if any symptoms? I know without a doubt i am a dopamine 'addict', my porn watching escalated to extreme levels, as well as masterbation 'aids', often spending hours at night looking at potential masterbation material, at one time i had 25,000 pics on my I and have been quit for 8 days and really havent encountered much, if any resistance. I have been reading the site and have many addiction symptoms and have great hopes for this reboot, but still feel emotionally dull, etc.

Any ideas? Or is it too early to tell!

Also this site is great, and has really educated me but has a lack of communication across the board with other members.

Thanks

I am 22 years old and I think I have this problem and have done since the age of 18. I also suffer from social anxiety disorder because of a mix of the two I am still a virgin (I have never even kissed a girl). I am currently only four days into my reboot (although in between that time I had to delete over 10,000 files from my computer and saved them to a DVD and a flash drive) (I will never watch them, but I have spent so much on them that my money would have been wasted). I have gone for nine days in the past before returning to the porn, that won't happen this time.

My libido is still very low although I fell asleep in the bath earlier and woke up with an erection (it was decent but not perfect). I was lying on my back but although it was quite a solid erection it wasn't standing upright, it was lying on my stomach. I then noticed a slight bend at the tip of my penis and started touching it to see if I could feel the bend.

First, let me start by saying that I love your site and what you're doing. Having a place to hear about other people's experiences with what I myself am currently going through has been tremendously helpful and encouraging.
The reason I'm posting may seem to be a bit of overkill, but I couldn't help noticing the last video on the sidebar "Young-Turks on Porn Induced ED". I'm not sure if this has been an issue for anyone else on here, but the main graphic for that video is, well, graphic (that is, compared to anything else on here). I personally find it difficult to read articles and peruse the site without noticing the image of the video, even though it is, by porn standards, fairly benign. My thought was that it probably isn't the best thing to have a blurry screen cap of internet porn on every page of a site dedicated to helping people overcome porn addiction. Perhaps you might consider moving the video to another section where it’s not on every page and has to be deliberately accessed, or finding a different graphic for the link. Like I said, this may just be me, and again, thank you for this wonderful site.

Am I a failure Gary? After one month of no PMO and one semi-succesfull sex I tried again to have sex with my girlfriend,I know I do not like her too much,but she is hot if you ask everybody else .I couldn't get it up,not even with masturbation,and when I touched her vagina with my soft penis,I orgasmed,ejaculated.I tried again,same thing happened.My mind is poisoned with thoughts like"IT WONT GET UP" and similar when I make love,when I kiss.As I remember while masturbating on porn it was full erect and I could masturbate for ages without orgasming,but I was going towards HOCD. I know I done damage to myself with PMO instead real thing,real life.Will I ever be cured?Now I made me a man with Performance Anxiety,PE and ED.My mornimg erection is strong,but it doesnt confort me,am I a incurable freak,a man that can no longer preform what every man has to do.

Just thought I'd post a link which shows people are starting to become aware of the problems P cause. http://lifestyle.aol.co.uk/2012/03/13/raquel-welch-were-all-sex-addicts/

Nice to see that someone famous is making the connection between P and people becoming addicts to orgasming and fantasy. Lets hope more names in the public eye speak out.

its day 50 today without any pmo....i hav a doubt that if i watch movies or cinema magazines,where there is sum slight exposure is making me turned on..bt i dnt hav an urge that is uncontrollable,,is tis normal...?i hav no problem in controlling my urges when i see movies and magazines containing my fav movie stars...is it normal?nothing to worry right?i am in control...i want ur suggestion gary....waiting for ur reply.i am 22 yrs old...i used pmo for almost 6 yrs...bt tis yr i reduced it...tis is my successful attempt..bt i reached almost 60 days before tis attempt

is it normal gary.?

Hey Gary,

I was wondering if you had an email I could contact you at with some questions.

Thanks so much!

Hi Gary - Sorry for posting this here if it is not the correct place, but I could not find an email address for you.

My name is MIKE DAVID and I am the host of RED BAR RADIO, a popular comedy talk radio show out of Chicago. A listener of ours just sent me a very long email explaining all of the "theories" and info from your site, in response to a few problems that I explained I was having in my personal life on the show.

After visiting your site, and reading through most of the information, I really think that you're on to something! I would love to have you as a phone-in guest on our show to explain all of this "porn addiction" stuff, as I find it to be extremely interesting, and I would like to share it with my listeners. I am also on "day 2" right now after reading your article. (Day 2 of uh.....no "playing" - haha).

I am planning on taking some of your advice and covering my progress on the show day to day. Yes, our show is a "comedy show," however, we cover every subject under the sun. (Just in case you did some research and thought that this might be a "gag")

Please let e know if you would be interested. We receive around 120,000 unique downloads to our show a month, so you'd definitely pick up some new visitors to your site. Our show airs live Monday-Friday, from 3pm-5pm cst.

I'm dying to tell my audience about your site and how I'm trying it out, but I would love to have you on before I do that. You would be much better at explaining it than I would.

THANKS!

MIKE

I had a specific question for you that I was having trouble finding an answer to on the site. It sounds like after a relapse you still keep some of your progress in lessening your porn addiction, but I was curious if you keep any of your progress in curing porn related ED, or are you back to square one in that regard?

I am on day 35 of reboot and I want to thank you for making this site available. I intend on using this as a tool, among others, in getting free of porn addiction.
My low point where I knew I needed to change came after 35 years (I'm 52), and luckily, before I became crippled for ever. For that I am thankful. The long spiral of my addiction stimuli is classic textbook for men my age. I'll recount later if I feel like it.
I hope my experience helps others get through this difficult process. Primarily, though, I'm here to heal myself through the catharsis of acknowledging my downward path and shame.
Turn around is fair play. So I decided enlist the internet, which had been my enemy, as an ally. This is a great tool and the healing material is just as easy to access as porn. (And I don't have to spend half of my day removing viruses from my computer.)
I started out educating myself about porn addiction. This included the social, psychological, biological, chemical, and spiritual factors. Attaining this knowledge was an important element for me.
Next I started visiting sites that explained the healing process because I knew I needed hope after so much despair had become ingrained in me. Others going through the same ordeal successfully, and pros like you, have let me know that inner health is possible.
I made some concrete changes in my life. To relieve some loneliness I bought a dog, became active in my synagogue, joined a town committee, went on a legitimate dating site and joined a gym. Now I have a lover and I'm even getting in shape. (These didn't stop my wanking to porn.)
Inadvertently I discovered another tool--the emotions of disgust and compassion. Exploring the world of porn itself was an eye opening process. The "starlets" are usually desperate, dumb, children when they are convinced they can make some easy money then get out. The actresses and directors reveal hideous common practices including intimidation, rape, violence, disease, drugs, and scars that estrange them from future normal relationships and their families. On the other side the advocates of porn cite freedom of speech and the use of porn as a "marital aid". Both rationales I found false and disengenuous. Further many of the "starlets" aren't even nice people, never mind someone you'd like to wake up with.
I have adopted spiritual practices of prayer and meditation. I'm not a preacher and the concepts of sin and repentance didn't help me. But spiritual practice is critical for me and, again, the tools to gain these skills are free and available on the internet.
Finally, I found this site and it helps provide new tools, especially support. Anonymity too can be a friend. The site helps me prepare for what is coming next in this difficult process and I don't feel so lonely or ashamed because others are doing it too.
ss

I'm 22 and I'm masturbating from 14 years old, I have little ED and currently I'm on day 63 of my reboot and I can see the good changes coming on, but I ahve a problem, when I stand up I lose my erection. I always masturbated on chair and i didn't saw any improvments in erection standing up, only in erection standing down. Did i damaged my penis? :(

I was wondering if, when you are withholding yourself from Porn and such, masturbating and pornographic thoughts are also things that should be excluded from your activities. I have been going without porn for a month now, but I still masturbate (and visualize pornographic imagery to aid me). Is this shooting myself in the foot?

Thanks for your time.

I have a lot of symptoms that are mentioned that have to do with Porn induced E.D. The One symptom I definitely don't have is a lack of morning erections. Even when I PMO'd multiple times a day I was still pretty normal in this department (Although during my reboot attempt it has been more consistently at full strength). Has this been the case for other people with porn induced E.D. as well? I'm at the point where I'm not sure if Porn induced E.D. is my problem or if it's possibly something else to do with my sexuality (Maybe I'm homosexual or asexual, who knows). Thanks for your time.

I have two thoughts / questions I haven't seen covered elsewhere:

Hai gary i am aravind 22 yrs male...first of al i appreciate your great work...i have one doubt which is bothering me...i have gone more than 80 days with no pmo,nt even the slightest exposure...bt i want to knw that if watching a normal movie where there s a slightest exposure like thighs,breasts is a problem or nt...or is it normal.should i allow myself to watch and appreciate that?i dnt have an urge that s uncontrollable or unmanageable..bt i am avoiding it Whenever i get that sensations...then what abt the scenes in movies where they are purposefully showing their sensual parts like closeup shots of their breasts and behind?is it normal?..or should i consider or perceive it as just beautiful?...i have also read ur article 'what stimuli must i avoid during my Reboot' and i clearly understood everything else bt i need clarification on my questions above...its ok to see a girl as a whole nt just concentrating on some specific body parts rite?even when i am seeing a movie i put My 100 percent concentration towards girls faces oly,nowhere else....i stil get the chils bt its normal to get attracted to beautiful Women rite?i have to say now that my perception Has completely changed,Whenever there s normal exposures in movies,i am enjoying it rather than lusting upon it...and also i am more concentrating on their faces only even if they r wearing exposing clothes.i think the key is to grow up of the fact that a girl's beauty s nt oly defined by her assets,and a girl as a whole s beautiful,and their assets is just a part of them rite?..i want you to clarify tis gary...its ok rite?or do i need to change anything..?awaiting ur reply gary..

A quick question:

If it is to be assumed that Internet-porn addicts masturbate to ejaculation frequently (say at least once per day) on the whole, then would it not also be reasonable to assume that they would have difficulty maintaining or achieving an erection in a sexual scenario with a partner? You know, unless they have tremendous libidos.

This is not a matter of great concern to me, so I may have missed a relevant elaboration deep in some document. Has it been shown that these addicts will more easily get an erection with pornography than with a partner *after several days without ejaculation*?

If I took a Serotonin Synthesis pills during reboot?

I wanted to be a little more sure on this and I think I was kind of naive when I first asked. Ever since my addiction to pornography has fully developed, I felt as though my brain is trying to twist and turn everything I enjoy in life. Which include (of course) sex, music, and hobbies like reading and such. You've told me that because of my addiction there is a decline in my barometer of pleasure. And because of my addiction I remain unsure of my true sexuality and my love for music is being altered. Whenever I listen to something I really enjoy, my brain always tries to bring up something negative about what I'm listening to and these negative thoughts really get to me and ruin the experience and its like its actually trying to convince me that these thoughts are true and I'm not really enjoying it it all. I've noticed through talking to other PMO'ers that they don't necessarily feel this way. Even the ones on yourbrainrebalanced.com who love music just as much as I do, don't have this problem either. Is this just something special to me or what? I'm sorry if it feels like I'm asking the same question over again, I just need to know