How do I cope with porn flashbacks?

Submitted by Gary Wilson on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 10:23
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Flashbacks are common with pornography addictionUnlike drugs or alcohol, porn flashbacks can hang around in your mind after you stop using. So what do you do when one pops up?

Below are a couple of techniques, but first let's discuss masturbation.

If you are trying to free your sexual arousal from porn images (which is a good idea if you want to find real partners more arousing, or regain erectile health), do your best to masturbate (when you must) without using porn or flashbacks. This gives your brain a chance to weaken the connections that are triggering the flashbacks.

Focus instead on the physical feelings. Be sensual. Take your time. Luxuriate in the good feelings. Do not fantasize. If you must use an image, consider thinking about a real (and realistic) encounter with someone you know personally. For more, see How do I masturbate without porn? (and the article under that page) .

Other rewiring techniques can be found at Rewiring Your Brain and here. Also, here's a technique from a forum member, which you can use to prepare for future flashbacks. You need to do it while you're feeling calm. Then you can use it when flashbacks arise the next time.

Focus your attention on something peaceful. It could be a peaceful place, a picture of something beautiful like a sunset, or whatever. Doesn't matter if it's real or imagined, since your brain doesn't tell the difference anyway.

Make sure you do this with a playful attitude, like the way children do. Take the a few seconds to do each of these steps:

1 - Take a deep breath all the way in and out. At the end of the breath, slowly say the word 'peace' to yourself in a peaceful manner
2 - Now imagine seeing something peaceful. See what it looks like
3 - Hear what it would sound like
4 - Feel what it would emotionally feel like to be there
5 - Also get physical: Breathe the way a peaceful person would breath
6 - And change your posture to a peaceful one. Sit or stand the way you would if you were at peace
7 - Again, say 'peace' to yourself slowly, and recall what you see, hear, feel emotionally, and get physical with it.
8 - Repeat step 7 (or 1-7) a few times to reinforce this feeling

You've just created an experience which you can use to your advantage.

Whenever your mind stirs up a pornographic image, interrupt it with a deep breath in, out and say 'peace' in the exact same manner and again, get physical: Sit or stand the way you would if you were acting the role of someone at peace, breathe like a peaceful person.

This will cause your mind to focus on peace. It may not immediately remove the pornographic image if the 'peace' isn't strong enough (though it often does, or at the very least it weakens the pornographic image), so just repeat the word 'peace' several times over and see the peaceful image, and recall what you heard and felt (and get physical too). This will reprogram/recondition your mind to focus on peace instead of the pornographic image. Remember, you must say it the way you did in the above steps.

With enough repetition, the pornographic image will cease, or it will almost automatically trigger your 'peace' response which is still better than trying to 'fight' the pornographic image. Basically, this is a way to 'hijack' your brain so that every time the unwanted image pops up, it leads you to peace, which eventually fades out the pornographic image altogether.

Whereas the pornographic image would lead people to beat themselves up as they're trying so hard to remove it, using the above technique allows you to weaken or remove the image altogether which leaves you in a far more resourceful state. Hope this helps!

 

Comments

Submitted by Marnia Robinson on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 08:42.

Yesterday, I felt fantastic.

As I mentioned in the last post, I keep getting distracted by girls, even while I am with my girlfriend. For the many years that I spent watching porn, seeing beautiful girls wouldn't trigger my desire to go talk to them, or to fantasize about them even, but only to get home as fast as I could to watch porn. I guess it would be like smoking a cigarette after smelling some smoke.

Now, I think I'm feeling progressively different about the girls I look at. The images of their bodies really stay in my mind. They are getting as strong as the flashbacks I used to have from porn, or even stronger. Although this is a craving, I can't help but think that this is a good thing. Seriously, I didn't feel any need to watch porn these last 18 days. I block any flashback the second it shows up in my mind. The flashbacks rarely trigger any ecstatic response from my body, but even if they do, I can block that too.

And yesterday I realized I could do the same about the girls I saw. I felt it was an option to look at them or not. And I made the option not to look - because I don't need, nobody needs to fantasize to any images in their brains. We all need to have a fulfilling sex life, that's what we need.

So, yesterday I felt I was in command. I could make the choice: to think, or not to think, to look, or not to look, to orgasm, or not to orgasm. I don't now if this feeling has come to stay, but I think it's a good reference point for me to keep. Even if I relapse, I'll now that at some point, I had the control.

Submitted by Marnia Robinson on Fri, 11/18/2011 - 16:05.

A guy said this on the forum:

Another thing I noticed over the last few days and weeks is how dangerous and subtle triggers can be. For example:

a)
The singer in the radio sings a certain passage (let’s say for the sake of example the neutral phrase “Let’s go, Let’s go !”). When this passage reminds me of a dialogue I once saw in porn, the scene is immediately there (at least a thought on it).

b)
I hear/see the name of certain countries, continents or citys in the TV/the radio/the internet and … the scenes/pages/memories are there. As you most likely know, there is an exact categorization in the porn world, maybe things like “Brazilian Girls”, “Amsterdam Red Light” or whatever. Consequently, as soon as I hear e.g. “Brazil”, I remember certain scenes and think: “Hey, what about page xy … ?!”
Even more bizarre, sometimes I can’t even identify the trigger clearly. For example, someone was using the absolutely neutral term “Frau” (= german for “woman”) recently and my mind was instantly: woman = fingering, g-spot, squirting, orgasm … bla bla. That wasn’t the first time, that happened and that really scared me …On some days I nearly can’t think of woman in general or specific, without thinking dirty accordingly.

c)
Strangely enough, even myself talks stupid porn stuff, sometimes. I don’t know why that is, but it can be, that I drive in my car and just for the sake of acting silly, I imitate certain phrases from porn (some porn scenes are even made like a comedy, so you remember exactly the shit, they were doing and saying. Maybe it’s even a kind of trademark for the actors and producers).

I guess, the main thing is, that you identify these triggers and then stop them. Of course including the talk of double entendres and the silly porn talk. In my experience, especially these two behaviours lessen in a matter of about 7 days, which is a good thing.

Submitted by ekamau on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 22:49.

how do i post my own blog to this site?

Submitted by admin on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 13:53.

Most of the rebooting accounts came from our blog/forum - http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

You can sign up over there ans start your own blog.

Submitted by Fah on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 05:50.

Other than causing unwanted memories? I think I read somewhere that it effects dopamine, but I'm unsure. I've successful reached 2 weeks with PMO and everytime I come around the day I usually relapse I get these flashbacks, like I did this morning

Submitted by admin on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 09:28.

As you can see flashbacks are a normal part of the process, as they would be with any addiction. The addiction memories activate sensitized pathways, which increase dopamine and cravings. These "memories" which are called sensitized pathways become stronger as you quit an addiction. That's why it hits you at 2 weeks. Once you get past a certain point they become weaker.

Submitted by Fah on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 14:35.

I can't seem to feel correctly once again, yesterday was actually becoming a great day, I was feeling better than usual until later on in the night where it felt like there was nothing inside, just like I do now. Is it just a sign that this reboot is working or a consequence of thinking of the flashbacks? I was really getting used to my books and music again for a short while...

Submitted by admin on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 16:02.

you will see that moods are all over the place. The first thing we say under rebooting - "recovery is not linear." Up and down is how this goes.