Medical doctors/students who are rebooting
- What would you like to know? by RebootMD
- Med student - Been experimenting with nofap for 4 years and I'm here to stay
- Age 26 - Doctor heals his "performance anxiety" by quitting porn
- As an andrologist, there is nothing as bad as realising the hurt I'm doing to myself and to my SO.
- Recovered after years of no legit sex and years of PMO
- Medical Doctor - HOCD: Extreme fetish porn and acting out
- Psychatrist (age 28) - new motivation to reboot while working at a methadone clinic
- Posted on MedHelp - by med_man
- Medical Doctor: porn-induced ED & extreme fetish porn
- LINK - A doctor's personal experience of Nofap
- I lost my girlfriend but gained this community ... Hello from a new member and an M.D. who learned firsthand what the medical community doesn't (yet) teach you about the dangers of porn
- Age 27 - I don't suffer from ED or premature ejaculation anymore. I'm now dating the girl of my dreams
- Big start
- Zinc and Erectile Dysfunction
My name is Ali, I am a doctor
two months ago, i discovered that i have severe ED. It was the first time for me to see how porn destroyed my life.
I am 28, heavy porn user since age 17. I couldn't get it up for a real woman, and i was having severe ED even with porn use.
I found these useful forums and i began my research to help my self and help other people also. I am posting here to add an importing step that should be added to the rebooting process, one of the medically important facts that I noticed is ZINC deficiency.
Zinc is an important mineral that is involved in many reactions and a a co enzyme in the body, it helps in many functions in the body but mainly activities involving energy production, DNA synthesis, New cells synthesis and also Immune function. BUT one of the other important things is sexual function in males
Zinc is found in semen and it has a major role in biological processes involved in Testosterone production and sperms viability, there is a study that showed men with low Zinc levels had Low Testosterone levels and as soon as they replaced it over a period of 3 months, they noticed 92% increase in the levels of testosterone (which is amazing).
So each ejaculate would have about 3 to 5 mg of zinc lost, it is a massive amount of Zinc, and taking in consideration that any addict usually has poor diet and he cums many times during the day and over a period of years, so guess what? Zinc levels in the body will be severely affected and thus Zinc deficiency emerges.
So i would like add a new scientific and informative issue, Get healthy diet,replace your Zinc either with diet which will take longer or with supplements which are available at any pharmacy as an OTC, your recommended daily requirement is 10 mg but in case of replacing a deficiency you can get the boosted dose of 20 to 25 mg, NO more than 25 mg per day as a maximum allowed dose by the FDA rules.
Effects can be seen gradually. Of course stick to the rules, no porn, masturbation or orgasm to artificial stimuli, plus healthy diet, exercise and rewiring with your significant other or any real woman.
Its been a month without any PMOing for the first time since 10 years, I feel much better and Zinc improved my overall well being and my erections are coming back in form of morning woods, being turned on to my girl but with 40% of power, i can tell that there is a difference with all the measures that i took including stopping PMOing , exercising, eating healthy diet, zinc replacement, and rewiring with my girl. I have just started the recovery process and i think it is going to take a lot of time, maybe months to a year or so just like most of the guys who went through a successful reboot.
i started using porn when i was 17, I masturbate on daily bases, twice, or sometimes more, it depends on the stress level, sometimes i binge Pmoing, for hours, Edging is another bad habit, the porn that i used to like, is watching real people having sex and enjoying each others, Amateurs, nothing extreme, I hated the acting part and all these fake boobs.
I started to have it as a habit, so upon waking up and when going to sleep, it was a great source of relief (fake one), but later on started to notice that i can't get it up even with porn, which was not that significant, i had orgasms but i was 40% hard, I also had bad habits of using lotion to masturbate, and i have the grip of death.
I found the girl that i fell in love with and I am getting engaged in a month or so, based on a religious and cultural background and where i come from,i did not have any real sexual encounter (i am a virgin ). For me it is finding the one you are going to marry and then having sex ( although this topic is controversial) but yeah it can happen (lol I am a pretty normal guy with lots of friends and happy life, top 10% of my class,enjoy life, play a musical instrument, run, and swim a lot).
Now being with the girl that i love, she noticed that I am not getting any erections with her during kissing, you know some foreplay, and then she asked !!!! I was telling her that its just normal and she was very concerned, then she tested that many times with different things and she came out with something new she said you don't love me and you are not attracted to me, and that is not going to work, our relationship is not going to work that way, she felt that she is not attractive enough for me.
Basically she is very beautiful young lady with sexy body and every guy would dream of her. Its painful as i know that i love her deep inside but i can't show it ! i know love means different things but lets get real, being turned on to your lady is a primitive sign that we as humans crave for. its a sign for health and for readiness for mating, its one of the natural insects.
I went to search for a reason, I am a young healthy man, no smoking, no alcohol, no medical condition, and no psychological issue, whats wrong ?? and i found the website your brain on porn and the a chain reaction took place and i started to read all these stories just like you guys and i started to relate it to my story.
I am now 30 days a way from PMOing, Its not an option anymore, I explained every thing to my Fiancee and she is very supportive and she told me that she will go all the way to help me out, I promised my self to recover, Its a bug shame that i lost my confidence and my basic primitive sign as a man, its so frustrating.
I changed my diet, I exercise more often, I enjoy connecting back to people, I am rewiring with my Fiancee, I am getting some morning erections, not really hard but it is a sign for recovery, Zinc is something that I am trying nowadays, reading stories about you guys helped me cope with my failure, I feel way better off porn.
I'm a junior doctor at a busy district general hospital in the UK and started nofap 2 weeks ago. I was a 1/day man. Just wanted to highlight some benefits I've gotten professionally from no fap: Better, faster thought processes - It's only NOW that I've noticed how significantly the "brain fog" was clouding my thought processes.
I have a quicker grasp of principles an I don't get confused by conflicting information. Even after long night shifts I'm able to perform well and manage complex illnesses much more ably than I was before. After myself, the patients are the biggest beneficiary from nofap.
Emotional control - After a long shift without breaks its normal for me to become irritable and sensitive - even during nofap this still happens. However, I'm more sensitive to the signs I'm becoming irritable and know to take a break, have a drink, wash my face with cold water, meditate for like a minute or two then back into the fray.
Voice - Doctors are trained to be good communicators. I had a good manner with patients even before no fap (according to feedback) but now I think my voice has more authority - patients are more inclined to listen to my advice than before. My diction has improved and the tone of voice has deepened. Also I'm more inclined to use hand gestures and my body language has opened up even if encounters are confrontational. My sensitivity to patients emotions has increased and that allows me to tailor my approach.
Heightened senses - My sense of smell is far more sensitive than before - my whole experience of smell is massively enriched. My sense of touch and hearing are also slightly sharper.
My sixth 'doc' sense has also improved - I can tell when patients are sicker quicker and put a finger on it faster.
My clinical examination skills are sharper as a result. in brief some benefits outside of work: More charismatic and socially powerful, greater will and commitment to exercise, better genuine self-confidence, better mood stability, better control of voice whilst singing, better memory, better tolerance of hunger, better quality sleep.
For other doctors or professionals out there I think nofap is a nobrainer. My practice has improved within 2 weeks of this challenge - looking forward to what the next few weeks bring :)
That's awesome. I am a 4th year medical student in the US. I have just been studying for a big board exam since being on nofap, and now look forward to what it will be like when I get back to working with patients. I can relate to everything you described, and like you said with the results you are seeing, nofap is a no brainer. Thanks for posting, good luck with the rest of your training.
Psychiatrist (age 28) - new motivation to reboot while working at a methadone clinic
June 18, 2013 ishouldreallyknowbetter
I'm 28 and am addicted to porn. Started in my early teens, although 56k modems and living with my parents curbed things. I definitely knew I had an addictive personality though, as I'd often masturbate to digital pictures and magazines 5-6 times a day in my early teens. So I took precautions when I moved out. I'm thankfully intrinsically cheap, so never went to prostitutes/strip clubs.
I did go out of my way to never have a computer at home. Just never bought one. Went through college fine, M'd once or twice a day to mental thoughts only. Fine is relative, as I did have bad urges every few months and would pathetically creep on the roommate's computer when he wasn't home and go online. But overall exposure to the internet was pretty limited or else monitored, so the addiction didn't reach it's full "potential."
Then I went to med school, met my first girlfriend at 22 and lost my virginity to her. First year of med school was so busy there was never any time to fool around with too much PMO. Second year of med school and everything thereafter was much less time consuming. I'd sneak into the computer lab, get a private room , loose hours at a time and walk out totally deflated, physically and mentally. I would often need to write reports or take notes, so I bought 15 year old ultra-oldschool laptap that ran on a 33mhz processor. The draw was that it simply could not connect to the internet. Around this time, I'd get ED once in a blue moon with my current girlfriend and think it was lack of sleep or stress or something else. But things were typically OK, I'd usually have sex 4-5x a day.
(god, only when I'm writing this down does it all appear to be such a linear or even exponential progression in my addiction.)
School housing ends after 2 years so I had to move into my own place off campus. I need a real computer to do work and reply to blasted emails... You can guess what happened. Wayyyy more PMO, way more frequent PIED. i started to become interested at harder and harder stuff. i was shocked seeing how turned on i was getting at such aggressive and frankly degrading stuff. I knew it was bad and that I was wearing really deep neural grooves in my brain. I tried to stop, a week here and there, but nothing sustained. I put filters on everything but I'd still find a way out, clicking forgot password or friggin reformatting the computer. I even tore out the wireless card in a new laptop once, only to get a usb wifi adapter later. it was BAD. I seriously felt like two people. One pathetic and the other more pathetic.
Because of money issues in my family, my folks moved in with me 2 years back. I thought: great, this will help. I put the computer in the living room. Expected the awkwardness of everything to cure me.
Wrong. I just snuck down there at night. PMO's into the wee early hours, then took caffeine pills to stay awake during the day. PIED with girlfriend gets worse, i get more stressed and insecure and seek out even more PMO. All this time I'm working as a psychiatrist and hear about people struggle with addictions to meth and alcohol everyday, all the while feeling idiotic and weak with my comparatively minor addiction that I still haven't been able to shake after 10 years.
Part of the residency program I'm in makes me work in a methadone program for a month. I started a few weeks ago. I initially didn't want to because I felt like it was just enabling their addiction in a different form. I still often feel like that, but in seeing so many 50, 60, 70 year old men who were just now rebuilding their lives after wasting decades with heroine, the sadness inherent in that helped me get over a specific mental threshold with my porn addiction.
I had tried to quit before but always felt temped and weak during times of abstinence. But not anymore. I'm just so sick of all the wasted time jerking off before a little glowing screen. I'm sick of laying next to my girlfriend in bed after going soft. I'm tired of relinquishing my brain and continually replaying some filthy scene in my head wherever I'm at, whoever I'm with.
This post might mention the clinic i work at, but it's really YBR and YBOP and reading all of your posts that gave me the extra motivation umph to quit and feel strong doing so. Thank you to everyone who's ever posted on here. I really appreciate your time and openness and hope I can be as helpful to my patients as you all have been to me.
Posted on MedHelp - by med_man
Oct 23, 2011
Hello guys! I'm 27, I'm a doctor and I've been experiencing the same problem as you all.
I've been watching porn during my entire sexual life. My first orgasm was when I was 14 and I was watching porn when that happened. The first girl I kissed was when I was 13 and my first sexual relationship happened when I was 16 with a strange woman and, by then, I didn't get a boner. In the beginning, when internet wasn't available, I used to buy tapes, latter DVDs but these types of porn usually do not provide you such an intense experience as the internet. For example: if your fetishes cumming on the face of a woman, if you're on the internet, you can go straight to the scene, and therefore you experience a more intense orgasm.
Well, continuing with my story, during my adolescence, every time I kissed a girl I used to get a bonner. After my first traumatic sexual experience (with an unknown girl) in my late 16s, I then got a girlfriend when I was 18. My first sexual experience with her was also a failure, but the next ones (over the whole 7 months we dated) was fine. An important information is that I rarely cummed when penetrating, usually had to stop and finish the job with my hand.
After that, I experienced a hard time on med school because I had to study a lot and almost didn't have time with girls. The few experiences I had, I was able to get bonners but rarely got to the climax penetrating (1 or 2 times). After I was 22, there was a boom of free xvideos in the net and, as I was addicted to porn, I went through this path, with more and more extreme sex situations being watched. As you can imagine, I started experiencing some more traumatic experiences.
I started not having bonners even when I was kissing girls. As the things got worst, 100% of my masturbations happened watching porn and I started avoiding situations with women because I had ED. It was until my late 26's that I started suspecting about porn as being the cause of my erectile dysfunction. I suspected because when I masturbated in the bathroom, I couldn't get it hard and when I was able to do it, I had to imagine porn scenes to do so.
I even tried to take viagra to have sex with a girl but it didn't work (this is typical of porn related erectile dysfunction (PRED) About 5 months ago I decided to quit watching porn and I'm having several relapses happening frequently. Although confident of my condition, my sexual emotionality is so heavily attached to porn that I'm having a hard time quitting it. But I'm starting to have better situations happening in my life.
2 days ago, I brought a girl to my place, and despite the fact that I didn't had that "really hard" bonner I was able to penetrate the first time. I also needed my hands to finish the job. The girl wanted more, but I wasn't able to get it hard again. What I can tell you about how to get rid of PRED is:
- Admit your condition
- Get away of PORN. If you can't do it, search for psychological assistance
- Try to *** only with a woman with you
- If you have a hard time getting with a woman, you should pay for it. Tell her about your condition and ask for help. If she is a professional, she will understand
- Make your brain recognize new patterns. For example, if you can't *** penetrating, simply do not ***. With time, your brain will recognize the penetration as the way it has to get pleasure.
- If you can't live without masturbating, because of your emotional lability, do it, but DO NOT THINK OF PORN SCENES when masturbating.
- Do not masturbate too fast: try to make your brain recognize slower speed (as in penetration) as the pattern of speed that it's supposed to ***. If you can't *** with slow speed, don't ***.
If you can follow these instructions I guarantee that in 3 month at most, you'll get a normal pattern of sexual life. Of course, it's almost impossible to follow these, because you have emotional barriers that eventually will break your rational orders. I'm having a hard time doing that, but as I keep trying, it's doubtless improving my performance.
I hope that my experience with that will help some of you. I consider my case one of the most difficult (my first sexual orgasm was watching porn - this is a heavy emotional print) but hopefully I will have some day a normal sexual life. Aware others of the danger of porn.
Med student here. So glad the world is catching on [to how porn can cause ED]. It's so bizzare how porn is a norm nowadays. I suffered from PIED up until 2015 (2 years after finding out about no fap). I went to a urologist back in 2013 as it was my last resort and he told me it was all psychological and that he has being seeing young guys like me going through the same thing. He gave me sample packets of viagara and cialis. They didn't work for my PIED. Its bizzare how they can't piece the puzzle together (as urologists), but then again, as a user I couldn't peice the puzzle together. So glad I found about yourbrainonporn.com and nofap. Life is good! permalink
June 16th, 2013
I had porn induced erectile dysfunction since maybe 5 years and I am 28 now. I had the same girlfriend all the time. After having sex with her for one year i simply stopped. In the last 4 years we had sex maybe 10 times – with the help of Viagra most of the time. You can imagine what this means to a woman... I myself had actually contempt for this situation.
I thought to myself everything is working fine down there since I could masturbate to porn. This I did 1-3 times a day starting with 19 i guess. I guess i used some kind of death grip. My dick went limp seconds when i stopped touching it. I never had sex dreams or morning wood. And I think you would not believe me as long as you did not experienced it yourself: I just did not care!!! I was in a massive brain fog.
In February 2013 two things happened:
- I met a new woman – my current Girlfriend and quit my relationship.
- I discovered yourbrainonporn.com by mere chance while browsing through YouTube.
I had sex with my new Girlfriend maybe 10 times all the time depending on Viagra or other stuff. Someday April i began my reboot – no porn and no masturbation anymore. I did not tell my new Girlfriend of my problems since I did not want to scare her of. I was actually very terrified that i could not have a normal sex life with her. Her Ex boyfriend was into tantra sex and she is a very sexual person.
On May the 17th it happened (DAY ZERO): I already had massive problems not only getting an erection but to ejaculate since sex did not get to me. I just did not like it and it felt alien to me. Now i not only couldn't climax anymore but I also got limp inside my girlfriend ALTOUGH i had taken 20 mg of cialis. The next day the same happened again. Now i felt really shitty: How should this relationship work out if i had problems in this massive scale? On the drive home i thought to myself that i feel disgust (!) if my sexy (!) Girlfriend touches me.
This marks day one of my actual reboot since i told myself:
- No porn ever! (NEVER AGAIN!)
- No masturbation at least as long as I have a girlfriend i can have sex with.
- No Viagra no cialis etc. anymore
Weekend One: (day 6) We have a long distance relationship so had to leave next morning being terrified the whole next week. The next weekend i drove to her and told myself that i will definitely tell her SOMETHING. I was to scared to do it the first evening but told her in the morning.
What did I do: First thing was I told my Girlfriend that i had this kind of problems before and that it is not her fault. I told her that i feel depressed because it happened again and that it maybe takes one to two month till it will work out again. I Told her it is performance anxiety and if something like getting limp in a woman happens to a man he gets severely depressed and it doesn't work for a long time. I had the advantage that i could perform "great" while using Viagra – which i never told her. I guess she was not worried because of that. Of course i read all the encouraging stories about how guys rebooted but this is yourself and at that time i was not so sure about whether it will work out or how long it would take.
We had a long conversation. She was very encouraging. She loves me a lot and she said we will both get over it as long as it may take.
Believe it or not: We cuddled afterwards and my penis – for the first time in years – got hard by itself. I simply forgot that i had PIED or performance anxiety and we had sex. I would not believe it if it was not me. After five years the first time legit sex without the help of Viagra. Of course I felt great. I do not know how long my actual reboot was at that time but i guess at that time my last PMO was three weeks ago. I did not climax because i chose not to. I heard that orgasm could throw you back in your reboot so i stopped before i climaxed.
The next day it again did not work which i did not care much about because i had my first succces!
The next week i for the first time since years i had morning wood. It felt great. I in total felt great about myself and felt as a newborn sex god ;-). The next weekend my girlfriend came to me and we had sex again at Friday evening again not climaxing. The next morning i guess flatline started. Sex did not work. I could not get an erection and I got mildly depressed. That is why i thought about taking antidepressants and asked about it here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10101.0
Thank god i felt better naturally and although i did not have morning wood or sex dreams anymore – i guess i was in flatline – wanted to try rebooting since i read that it also helps with depression resp. flatline depression goes away when flatline goes away.
The next week I met my ex-girlfriend. I told her everything about my condition since i felt obliged to do so. She suffered a lot in the last years. I wrote about it here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10231.0
Last weekend (day 28) my girlfriend came to me. I was still in flatline but i thought we could have sex maybe once since it worked out fine the last weekends. But NOTHING happened. Initially my dick got hard just by smelling my sexy and sweaty girlfriend. When we went to bed and things started to get serious it again did not work. I wasn't feeling to depressed since i thought to myself that i am in flatline and since i had first success it will get better. I still talked again to my girlfriend and told her about how it feels for a man not to get an erection. We maybe talked for an hour and then the magic happened: Again, my penis got hard and we had sex.
This time not only one time but two times this evening and my erection quality was great. I could easily get up and close the window, get back to her and continue having sex. The next day we again had sex three times. The best thing is: Yesterday she also blew me and I climaxed. The next morning I felt like all my energy is gone. I felt so great collecting all this sexual energy for 28 days while not climaxing and now it is all gone. But thank god: I again was able to have sex with my girlfriend! We went to the forest in the afternoon and you can probably guess what happened there....
Today: I do not feel that i am completely healed. I think I made GREAT progress but i still feel that i am not back to normal. I may hit flatline again but now i am SURE that this all is curable 110 %!!!!!
Other good stuff:
- My skin got better.
- My mood got better. I am more interested in the well-being of others and less egoistic.
- I wake up early and my girlfriend and my best friend asked me: "ho come that you are NEVER tired?" This opened my eyes: I do have a lot more energy. I am full !!! of power ;-)
What worked for me?
- No Porn!
- No Masturbation!
- No orgasm! I told my Girlfriend that i feel much better when i do not orgasm and that i will not climax the next weeks.
- Sports and a healthy diet because this helps you with your overall well-being.
- praying. I believe in god and he helped me a lot. Also the alcoholics anonymous believe that a higher force will help them with their addiction.
- If you have a Partner tell her SOMETHING! It takes the pressure of you and she feels better.
- Also tell your ex-partners if she suffered, as my ex-GF. (I had massive feelings of guilt).
- I also told my mother and my sister. After three weeks reboot i just did'nt care much i guess. This helped me accepting my condition.
- Stay on this forum. Ask questions and help others!
That's it! I will continue my journey and keep you updated. To all of you who are where I started (I was practically impotent!!): Rebooting works 110%. Just give yourself a little time. Some take longer but YOU WILL HEAL!! I did not believe it myself a long time.
I am a doctor myself (although a young one). I come from a family of doctors and of course I know a lot of other doctors due to my work. I do not know any urologists and psychiatrists but for all the other non sex-specific educated doctors I can assure you: At least in the country where I am from (Western Europe) we do not have a clue about this PIED:
We do not know ABOUT this Problem and we do not know HOW to fix it (The cure is a reboot!). This severe medical condition seems to fly under the radar of "normal" doctors. I myself have PIED since 7 years! (i will write my story shortly). I got to know about this problem by watching a YouTube video and then stumbled upon yourbrainonporn.com which literally opened my eyes.
I can't thank Gary enough for this page! Why am I telling you this?
1. Do not blame yourself for your condition. When even doctors do not know about this problem how should you?
2. You have to diagnose yourself. Read up the symptoms if they match: start a reboot. http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/how-do-i-know-if-my-ed-porn-related-test
3. If possible spread the word!
July 11, 2013, by RebootMD
Hi everyone,I've been reading these forums for a while now, and the advice has been incredibly helpful. It took me a lot of digging and searching to eventually conclude that I had PIED, and even more time to find YBOP and this site. While there are many members on this forum, I can only imagine how many more people are suffering and don't understand why. Additionally, with the widespread use of the internet, this issue is likely to expand among younger generations. I'm a medical student pursuing urology and I'm starting up a couple research projects on the subject of PIED. My hope is that with some published medical research paving the way, PIED can become more of a mainstream discussion, and help out the kids today who are just starting down the slippery slope.
My question to all of you is: What would like to know about PIED? It's an amazing topic for research, as it encompasses urology, psychology, and neurology all at once.
Most of my ideas so far come from the stories on this forum. A few are:
- The association between P use and ED in varying age groups
- The correlation between age of first P use, frequency of PMO, severity of ED, and length of reboot
- A functional MRI brain image mapping study of PIED sufferers vs. a control group
- Behavioral/emotional analyses of PIED sufferers before, during, and after a reboot
Let me know what you think!
I lost my girlfriend but gained this community ... Hello from a new member and an M.D. who learned firsthand what the medical community doesn't (yet) teach you about the dangers of porn
My sincere hello to all the guys here! I'm turning to this community for help, and I wanted to introduce myself and my situation. I'm 33, healthy, a physician who just finished my training ... and for the past 6 months have struggled with ED and DE which ultimately led me to realize that porn and arousal addiction have destroyed my most recent relationship. The loss of my girlfriend last month over a lack of "physical chemistry" as she said it …. my ability to please her, as I say it ...tore my heart in half and made me feel like a fraction of a man, but in the process forced me to take a good long look at myself and realize that my habits and coping mechanisms over the past 15-20 years of my life have caught up with me ... and I am going to have to fight hard if I am going to dig myself out of this emotional and biochemical abyss so that I may have a normal, healthy, and enjoyable sex life and a successful relationship in the future.
Although doctors know a lot about the human body, there are certain phenomena that are not yet in the mainstream fund of knowledge. The dangers of PMO and arousal addiction are not yet mainstream. Even though I am a medical doctor, I had NEVER heard about them or realized they were so well described as they are on the internet by the pioneers like yourbrainonporn.com and the nofap community. (My ex-girlfriend, also an MD, had no idea too.) What I did know was that I was not happy, and frankly had never been when it came to sexual relationships and intimacy with women.
Regardless of having slept with over a dozen women, some of whom were extremely attractive, I have always used porn since I discovered VHS porn back when I was 12-13. At least 3-4 times a week since high school, I have used MO to feel better, and most of the times PMO. As technology improved and as the training for my specialty got more intense and required moving cities a lot and got in the way of having relationships, my porn use escalated. During relationships porn interfered in intimacy (subtly dampening the chemistry of the relationships at first, and over time muting them completely as with my most recent relationship that failed 3 weeks ago) In between girlfriends I always had my habit to make me feel better, even though the lack of a great intimate relationship with a woman always gnawed at my heart and made me feel less confident and less of a man. When times were tough or I had long gaps between girlfriends, I used porn more heavily. And with the improvement of technology over the past 20 years, the intensity of the problem grew and grew. 15 years ago the internet made it easy to download clips, and I started stockpiling porn like it was food and a nuclear war was about to start. 10 years ago the DVD craze was getting huge, and I started stockpiling DVDs. Then when internet porn a couple years ago made a digital cloud library possible and the evidence of hard drives and disks obsolete, I threw away everything and just joined a website that gave me everything I wanted, at any time, in HD.
Yes, my dysfunction escalated over time. Delayed ejaculation was the only sign for the first decade, but in the past 5 years I noticed my ability to pick up girls declined with a loss of confidence that I seemed to be having. And then my habits started catching up with me especially in the past 18 months … a death of a family member and a bad break up happened before last summer, and I relied on PMO to make me feel better for 4-5 months. This escalated to pretty long sessions, and multiple times a day, with more pay sites and HD quality that I could toggle and click and FF and rewind and interchange girls at a moment's noticed, and I got lost in the sad and lonely world of PMO ... sucked down the drain and I didn't even realize it was happening.
And then a bright moment in my life happened. I met a girl at work. She was a doctor too. She was beautiful and sexy and funny and we clicked instantly and laughed, we spent every minute together as friends and I eventually told her I was crazy about her and we started dating 6 months ago. It was an amazing connection, the first girl in my life I felt I may have a future with. And it was amazing, until we tried to have sex. The sex sucked!!! My dick got limp, during sex, or I would have delayed ejaculation (foolishly thinking I could last longer, which should be a bonus ... but my GF hated that I could not orgasm with her). Even though she was also an MD, and had no idea what was wrong with me because she knew I was too young for blood flow problems to my penis (a common cause of ED in older men). At first I thought it was anxiety from the new relationship, then I thought it was stress from an upcoming exam. And I reassured her that it would get better and she was hiding that she was miserable to protect my feelings while I studied for a huge exam.
My Eureka moment when she came to visit me after the exam after 2 weeks away from her, and I got limp during sex! It devastated her, and she leaped out of bed and said she couldn't do it anymore for the morning and went to take a shower. Hurt and rejected, like a baby clinging to a blanket, I reached for my phone, logged into a website, streamed HD porn and got a 100%stiff erection instantly and came in 30 seconds. And as the endorphins faded, I could hear her in the shower behind the wall, and my heart sank because I could not be intimate with her … and I knew that something was seriously seriously wrong. We were on and off again for a few weeks, and after taking me back it happened again 3 weeks ago (I was still using porn, not knowing why it was happening) and she left me for good. I was devastated. I sat on a couch for two days and researched everything I could on this topic, which led me to all you wonderful people and this support group, as well as a life coach dedicated to this problem, and as I read all the info a light bulb went off in my head. I tried to explain to my girlfriend what was happening, but she said I was crazy, did not find her attractive, may possibly be gay, and she could not be in a relationship with me anymore outside of friendship. So I cut her off. And now I am alone, and have all of you, and need to prove to myself that I can make it to 90 days.
Sorry for the long post. I will try posting something short every day for the next 90 days.
Your brother, dayoneforthis33yrold
Link to comment - Interesting Subject and Personal Experience
I will say this...from personal experience Porn is addicting; I found relief in finding and accumulating as much of it as I could - even though I would never return to anything I actually downloaded because I was looking for more, needed stuff that started to get on the fringes. Then I went from Straight porn and crossed over to bisexual, gay porn - just to find the next best thing to get off to. I would routinely ignore my wife, her needs, her advances. I could not wait to get off again - and I could not do it without visual stimulation from pornography. Refractory period or not, I would do everything I could do to climax again - I have read extensively a lot of neuroscience articles on this as I have somewhat of an education as well as a physician. I will say I could feel the actual dopamine rush in my brain at time of orgasm; I could feel this in my brain if I had an orgasm without an erection and without any semen production.
If this is not addiction - I don't know what it is. It came down to my wife catching me, and talking to other professionals for me to believe this. Because I could cite a lot of BS about the non-addiction of pornography coupled with masturbation.
Nine months into "recovery" - I am not porn free, and it is a struggle I feel particularly when stressed out. My wife and I talk more; I am able to have an erection with my wife again, I am able to have an orgasm with my wife again (therefore releasing oxytocin/dopamine rush and re-igniting the physical bond i.e. reward/release mechanism between us.
My Porn started at an early age with an uncle that was only 2.5 - 3 years older than myself, and my dad's penthouse stash. I have four children, and I work vigorously, especially with my boys, from viewing pornography. It's too easy. Maybe genetics make me predisposed to addiction - I don't know. I have warned all my children of this cycle that does not replace human bonding - and in a relationship may well be very selfish.
Masturbation is natural; it comes from natural exploration...maybe more so with boys because of early morning erections and nocturnal emissions. Masturbation is not bad - within context. Pornography is not a great sex ed tool; it is not a reflection of what real sex is even like. It might be great for ideas to spice up the sex life - but not at the start.
I am NOT a neuroscientist, and I do not list any references but to only highlight my own personal experience as a physician. I am not referring to any recognizable names of friends here. I am giving ONE data point from personal experience that was and still is difficult to overcome. Fortuna lists some very valid and statistically sound, juried evidence on the relationship of FosB - I agree. Chemical changes occur in the brain.
For me - There is absolutely NO DOUBT about porn/masturbation addiction, and it is only intensified by a culture that is moving away from human to human interactions.
You decide for yourself.
"That's about all I have to say about that..." - Forest Gump
I have something for you here, and I think you might like it. It's inspiration. First of all, let me introduce myself so that you can get the background needed to follow this text: I'm a 27 years old guy who recently realized he was addicted to pornography and masturbation, and fought and won a battle to enhance his life experience by eliminating that bad habits. My life changed, and I honestly believe that quitting PMO is at the foundations of that transformation. It took my a while to post here, because I wanted to be sure about those changes (specially concerning stability).
But in the end I felt like I owed inspiration to this community, since it was very helpful to me throughout the process. There goes my story... (sorry for any English mistakes, it's not my native language).
It's not easy to rationalize what's wrong with your life when you don't feel right. I see now what I was doing wrong, but at my times of suffering I didn't have this clarity. You see, Ever since puberty kicked off I was unsatisfied with my life. I wasn't as shy as most of you probably are, given the posts I read here, but I was not happy. I used to hang out with the popular guys and girls of my school/college, but mostly as a "nice guy satellite" kind of guy. And I didn't like it. Although outside I made it appear like I was doing fine, but inside I felt insecure, afraid, tired, sad, always coming short of what I thought it was ideal. And although I'm a highly educated guy (I'm a doctor) I couldn't figure out why I felt like shit most of the days, and more important, how to heal myself. I had my times with the ladies, but I must say I suffered from erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation (most of my sexual encounters were unsatisfying for me because of that).
I believe the first time in my life that I perceived the power of NoFap (actually, the power draining of fapping to porn, but we'll get to that later) was a random moment when I was about 20 y/o, when by a chain of events I didn't fap for about 15 days. I didn't see then, but I now understand why I felt like a superman during the last 5 days of that streak. I felt confident, positive, emotionally unattached to outcomes (results that magically appear when you let go of them), and all of the other "superpowers" that come with NoFap witch I'm sure you read about already.
Then I got back to PMO, and my life came back to chaos.
Then I found about "Your Brain on Porn" while surfing 9gag, and after I watched it I decided to give it a try. I wasn't very enthusiastic at the time, because I had tried a lot of things to improve my life, and couldn't make it right, but I took a shot anyway. Of course you know, at the end of the 15/20 days of NoFap I was God himself again. So, having now the theoretical knowledge to understand why, I saw what had happened before.
This post isn't about teaching how to do it, because it would make a really big text, it's more about showing you that PMO is a life sucking activity, such as alcohol or drugs. I don't think quitting PMO is becoming superman, I see it as removing the kryptonite (saw that in another post, credits to whoever wrote it).
I don't know for how long I haven't fapped/watched porn now, but certainly for more than the classic 90 days. To be honest it's been probably more than 6 months. On this time, I started working out (so now not only my body looks better, but feels better), have been studying a lot more, working a lot more efficiently (since I can concentrate and am not that big pile of tired meat and bones), and I'm feeling good as I never thought I would.
One more thing that deserves special consideration. I'm now dating the girl of my dreams. I'm not exaggerating, she is a gorgeous girl I had an intense crush for the last two years or so, and she is now my girl, and I can see in her eyes and in the things she does that she is as in love with me as I'm with her, and guys, let me say it: this is a priceless feeling. I got back on track on my sex life, meaning I don't suffer from ED or PE anymore, and consequently I'm not afraid of girls/sex anymore. I'm enjoying that relationship to its fullest and I think that is worth the hell you go through when you start NoFap.
I think PMO cuts you short of your full potential. I don't think it's a miracle solution to all of your problems, but I see it as a chain. You got a lot of problems, and they form a chain. Once you cut loose of one ring it's easier to cut the others. For instance, I didn't have the stamina to work out, and, because I cut PMO, I felt that energy coming back and started doing it. After a few months doing it, I looked better and felt better about myself, which gave me the self confidence to approach sexually the girl I really wanted in a proper way. Did NoFap solved my relationship problems? No! But it led to it indirectly. I believe that if you cut any ring of that "chain of feeling bad" it will help you improve on the others, but PMO is a big one. (I'm positively sure I wasn't clear expressing it, but damn, it's everything so clear in my head now, and still it's really, really hard to put it on words).
Anyhow, it's a big thread already, and I realized here that it's harder than I thought to put it in written form, but I think it might help some of you at least a little.
Again, sorry if the English is not perfect. If anybody would like to ask something more specific about my journey I'd be more than happy to detail it a little.
Keep pushing it.
by Another Guy