Quick bio: Dude. early 30s, married (separated), two kids, fapping almost daily since 18, in recent years it's been 2-3 times a day, pervy little kid since forever. So a week into this round of NoFap (my third attempt in about 18 months) I suddenly became incredibly aware of my real problem.
So it finally happened. I (30M) came during PIV last night. After 47 days of not looking at porn and 32 days without MO, I was able to do something I wasn't sure would ever happen. DE was my whole reason for doing NoFap.
Therapists can be a little confusing when it comes to assessing porn's risks. Some would have us believe that only teens with inherent vulnerabilities become addicted, even though addiction research that shows that early exposure to supernormal stimulation, alone, increases the risk of addiction. In search of another point of view, I interviewed author Gary Wilson, who has a lot to say about the unique risks of today's Internet pornography in his new book, Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction.
When you fap to porn, your motivation is drained and you feel bad about yourself. You are victim to watching someone else fuck the girl of your dreams. A girl you would give anything to spend one night with. When you think about it, it is extremely depressing.
I'm going from a (less and less) active participant in this subreddit, to a lurker only; and most likely will be deleting this account which was originally intended to be a throwaway for this subreddit only. The reason is simple: 1) I no longer post very often, and 2) I seem to be moving towards a relationship with a woman who is an active redditor.
I feel extremely nervous writing my 90 day report. I had many false beliefs about how day 90 would be. Almost all of them were incorrect. The only thing I can do here is to speak from the heart. I want to tell you how my experience was. How it happened.
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