Porn Then and Now: Welcome to Brain Training

How to let go of you harem? Just take your computer, and look at the screen from one side. What do you see? A side of a screen.. there is nothing there, nothing behind it. That is as close as you'll get to those women on the screen.. when you realize this, and I mean really understand what I mean, you will pop out of that longing for your harem.

It probably is indeed the masturbation in combination with the internet pornography that triggers this addiction to be so powerful. Some people refer to it as visual cocaine, myself I actually call it visual meth :p because I still found that somewhat of an understatement. I believe this IP addiction is top of the class. Sometimes the pull can just be so amazingly strong, and your limbic can just dominate you. I've experienced this first hand many times.

Taken from this thread on ED and Internet Porn.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-caus...

Ok, so I have had problems getting an erection or staying erect going back to early 2004. I am 37 years old now. Prior to 2004 I would get erect for sex with no problem, having an erection and being ready to go was never a issue. These days, I watch porn and masturbate to it or to pictures on profiles on swinger websites) maybe 4-5 days a week. But I sit there for an hour at a time, 2-3 hours at a time, in between taking breaks, but then going back to it. The invention of Porn Tube Channels has not helped at all.

But here is the thing, prior to 2004 when I started having this problem, I was 30, and had been masturbating all the time for 15 years without an issue of erection( I started having sex at 20)......... But here is what I realised. AND GENTLEMAN PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS...... In early 2004 I installed boradband internet at my house. Within weeks I was in front of the monitor trying to find as much porn as I could and masturbating to it, finding pictures online, and masturbating to them. That was a new form of masturbating for me. Prior to that, my masturbating was regulated to watching a hot girl on television, or a steamy scene on a cable movie and masturbating. Running to the bathroom and masturbating. Or right here in the living room, a quick 2 minute pleasure............ But Broadband Internet introduced me to a new form of masturbation....Long drawn out episodes of masturbation. Clicking from one video to the next until one finally turned me on to the point of ejaculation..... At times 4-5 times a day, 4-5 days a week. Going through swinger websites, going through pictures on profiles, until it made me ejaculate........ Guys, the past 7 years of this type of masturbation has RUINED my sex life.........

I am an attractive guy, good body, work out all the time.......I can not count the number of great looking women I have met the past 7 years that I have not been able to perform with. The latest being last Wednesday (10/26/11)....I met this great Asian girl, she came over. I stayed hard for a little bit, but it was gone within 5 minutes. And as I usually do when this happens, I jerk myself to get hard, but that takes a few minutes, and then when I entered her again, it didnt last 2 minutes. Needles to say, she was nice about it. But I have been texting her since that day, and I get very short non-personal replies.........She was obviously disappointed.....

As of late I have been confiding in friends about masturbation, and they all do it, and some say they do it all the time. But they have no problem getting erections when it comes to sex. It has obvisosly occurred to me that masturbating in front of the monitor to porn, pictures, is what is effecting my sex life and inability to get erections.........

I'm sure masturbating normally, maybe once a day, maybe twice a day, for a minute or two over time would have not affected my sex life and erections at all. But masturbating to internet porn and pictures really does cause you great harm.........

I remember last June. I was going to Dallas for a company outing. I knew a sales girl from a different branch. We exchanged sultry emails and text messages. So I did not masturbate for 3 days. I did Wednesday afternoon, then didn’t do anything until I would see her. Saturday night I went to her hotel. We were naked within 20 minutes, and heres the things. She blew me and got kind of hard, but I jerked myself to get hard. And when I entered her, I could just feel this incredible feeling I had not felt in years guys, years. I was staying hard and maneuvering her all over the place. It was freaking incredible. The only thing I could not control was as soon as she got on top of me I came almost instantly...But that’s when I realised how internet masturbating to porn really ***** you up big time.

Needles to say, to this day I’m still masturbating to porn, I did it last night for almost 2 hours. I’m looking into getting professional help. But guys, you will read different things that masturbating is not directly linked to erectile dysfunction, and that might not be true. But it does not specify the different types of masturbating habits people have. That is something that is not studied.

I'm 37 years old and have been addicted to masturbating to internet porn since 2004 when I first got Broadband internet, and that’s when my erectile dysfunction started. And I don't believe the dysfunction come from a psychological block; My brain telling my penis that it can never be as good as the porn when I’m in bed with a girl so there is no point in getting hard. My problem and the problem of a lot of others is the excessive pulling and strain on the penis pretty much just wears your functions out..............

From another forum:

I am 37 years old. I started to masturbate at age 14 in 1988. I masturbated a lot through my teens, late 20's. I kept a regular sex life. Not a ladies man where I was bedding women all the time. A couple of gf's, a couple of one night stands a couple of escorts.

I NEVER had a problem, getting an erection. On occasion I would rent porn movies at an adult book store, masturbate to them. Never had a problem getting an erection. In 2004 I installed broadband internet in my home (was 30 at the time). I soon was masturbating to all types of porn. Swinger websites with pictures of swinging couples. These would often be 45minute-1hr-2hr, 3-4 hr sessions. Taking breaks, and then going back to it. Ever since I have had broadband internet in my home and the quick access to porn.

MY SEX LIFE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE DISASTER. It's very very rare that I have a fulfilling sexual encounter. I did not realize that masturbating to porn was the problem this until a gentleman I e-mailed through a swingers website gave me some advice.

I remember halfheartedly attempting to give up porn several times in the past before finding this site, and finding myself right back on the path towards it thanks to the temptation in every media outlet known to man. To think that as a youngster I used to have to make a conscious effort to find pictures of scantily clad women... now it's difficult NOT to find them.

I guess I have the same story as hundreds of you people.

Began reading porn mags with my friends at age 12-13, then started buying videos a couple of months later. Had a TV on my room and used to stay up at night watching porn on cable. My parents knew nothing. At the same time my fantasies about girls started drifting away from romantic to sexual encounters. When I was 15-16 the Internet explosion happened and we all know what that meant. First we just had the dial-up and my parents monitored my use since it was expensive. Still managed to download hundreds of pictures that I kept on floppy discs. And there we go, broadband, P2P, Torrents, streaming etc etc

From This Thread

Drama Wrote:

I have enough self-control to not let it become a problem. I'm still trying to figure out where this shit came from. 2 years ago nobody bitched about having jerk off issues, and now guys all try to relate it to running their life.

RockNRollPUA answered:

Its mostly due to Internet porn. A whole generation just grew up on Internet porn and are now finding out that they have a distorted view of sex and chronic masturbation habits. With all the free tube sites you can pretty much see any kind of porn imaginable in an unlimited quantity. It is highly addictive and totally easy access. There is even an epidemic of straight men that are addicted to gay and tranny porn. Luckily I never got into that stuff, but from what I have heard from my friend who sells sex toys and porn online, its allot more common than you think it is. Yourbrainonporn.com also had an article about it which I read out of curiosity. It is unbelievable how mess up allot of the guys in this article are, its fucking horrifying.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual

Porn can definitely fuck your brain up if you watch it all the time, which a whole generation of people that just reached adult hood are now realizing.

I wanted to mention that my own experience with online porn confirms your theories 100%.

I first got really hooked on internet porn just about a year ago through a new form of porn called "hypno" videos. These videos are the most powerful of the powerful sex stimuli. They are clips of literally hundreds of the most intense scenes from porn videos, put to a soundtrack of pulsing techno music, sex sounds (moaning ect.), dirty talk, and printed words (usually shocking words - guilt or shame inducing words) flashed onto the screen.

These sex scenes, shock-words, sex sounds and dirty talk are constantly changing, often at a really high rate of up to 2-3 images a SECOND! You can imagine the dopamine hits that come from this kind of novelty! It's like 300 vaginas in a minute!

When I first viewed this particularly pernicious form of porn I was so hooked that I spent the entire weekend masturbating, until I was completelt exhausted. Imagine that rat pressing the bar -- that was me! No food, no personal hygene, little sleep....pathetic!

This frightened me quite a bit, and upon finding YBOP I realized exactly why these hypno videos are so powerful -- they are designed to take full advantage of brain chemistry/wiring/behavior. Thay are truly the crack cocaine of porn.

I has been a porn addict of increasing severity for at least 15 years now, probably more like 20. The ill effects of it are horrible. First it was softcore porn magazines, then was hardcore ones as well as hardcore video tapes. Paralleling that was years downloading both soft and hardcore images off the internet. With the advent of P2P apps, I was able to get hardcore videos off the internet. First was smaller p2p apps, then Bittorrent. After that, direct download sites and blogs/sites that link to them. I once paid for a month of premium access on one DDL site and binged on porn like I never had before.

Two things made my porn addiction much worse in 2008. For the first time I got a laptop, and I discovered porn tube sites. First it was [Site 1], then [Site 2], then [Site 3], [Site 4], [Site 5], [Site 6] and finally [Site 7] and [Site 8]. There are probably a few others I've forgotten. Porn tube sites, especially the big ones like [Site 8] are the crack cocaine of internet pornography. There is so much of it, and so much new content every day, every hour, every 10 minutes that I was able to find constant new stimulation.

The laptop made things worse because it sits right next to my bed. It's always there. No longer do I have to go downstairs or avoid housemates. I couldn't sleep? Fire up some porn; fap. Wake up with a headache? Same. Wake up without a headache? Why not fap to porn anyway

YankieWankie has commented on: "The Sky Is Not Falling"

Subject: Escalation and desensitization

For the purposes of this comment, I'll take issue with just one of Dr. Ley's theses: "If someone watches porn showing something they find distasteful, it has no impact on their behavior or desires". I feel fairly confident in positing that most men who have viewed porn over the course of years or decades have seen their tastes (desires) escalate from ordinary to repulsive as they have become habituated to successively higher levels of stimuli. I myself went from looking at centerfolds in the early nineties, to hardcore magazines, to hardcore VHS, and then came the internet and I went back to still images for awhile, then downloadable video, then highspeed streaming video. As I progressed from still images to video, still images just didn't "work" on my libido anymore. To some extent, having given up porn entirely, still images are still somewhat ineffective at arousing me--and I believe that's regrettable. I want some of the "innocence" back that I gave up in order to look at shocking material.

In terms of the content of what I watched, there came a time when I found myself looking at extreme group sex (50 men, one woman), a subject that at the start of my experience with porn would have repulsed me. Yet at the end, I had to feel that revulsion in order to become aroused. I believe it only would have gotten worse if I hadn't curtailed my use of porn entirely.

The interesting thing is that I open several windows in my browser, each one with many, many tabs. The main thing that arouses me is novelty. New faces, new bodies, new "choices". I very rarely even watch a whole porn scene, and can't remember when I saw entire movie. It's too boring. I always want NEW stuff.

LINK

Our minds have been evolving for thousands of years. The advent of Internet based porn is a technology that our minds did not evolve to handle. Men evolved to be attracted to youth, beauty, and subtle signs of fertility. Before large cities emerged in recent times and the creation of mass media; television, billboards, magazines, the Internet, people would only see a limited amount of other people. A man may only see a few 7-8/10s in his day to day life.

The brain is not evolved to process 30 tabs of beautiful women with perfect breasts who attempt to look healthy and youthful who are naked and posing for you, or getting fucked. Brain evolved to find average women sexually arousing. Porn takes everything your brain already finds arousing, amplifies it by 100%, then you go and open 30 tabs of it without realising that doing this has serious consequences.

So yeah, finding Playboy attractive should come pretty naturally. And the only conspiracy at play here is that our brains are not evolved to deal with porn. Its too much stimulus.

Finding average women attractive: Good.

30 tabs of incredibly hot women getting banged: Bad.

Markets supplying to the demand: Expected.

Porn addiction is not all about the release of sexual energy, for me at least. It was about the hunt. And of course the repressed society adds guilt and this adds more of a "high", for the lack of a better term, to a porn addict. There were times in my life where I would spend 4 hours stroking my dick, looking for a perfect image starting with artsy stuff like x-art or met-art pics to end up with bestiality or shemale video, then cum, take a nap and repeat the process.

You may not understand it, and it's great that you have a good relationship with porn but don't presume that everyone is like you. Just like we shouldn't presume to understand people who become so obese that they become grafted to their couches. Porn is my poison, moderation hasn't worked out for me yet so it's abstinence for me for a few months, then I'll try to masturbate without porn just to disassociate the two, then maybe moderation might be the way to go.

At 45, I'm glad I'm not doing this at 21. I did not have my mind programmed at a young age by Internet porn, which is categorically different from old-school porn due to the endless novelty available.

During my first sexual experiences (masturbation) I was often fantasizing about girls I actually knew, not watching explicit videos of ever more intense hardcore porn scenes.

 I think my reboot from 7 years of porn addiction is easier for me than it is for a 21 year old who is rebooting from 7 years of porn addiction plus hardwiring that occurred while his brain was still forming. I have a distinct memory of a time when my brain did not think sex = porn. My brain has a place to go back to.

I do regret losing 7 years of my life to porn addiction and depression. But I know that some guys have a much tougher path out of the porn pit than I do.

GUY A:
Does anyone else here masturbate with multiple browser windows open? I'll usually open somewhere between 2-4 with different videos or images. Sometimes I just can't decide who I want to finish with...

GUY B:
Yup, I'm the exact same. Always thinking I'll find a better video to finish with.

GUY C:
Same here!!!
I always want to get even better pics or vids for the big finish

Important information every NF'er should be aware of - big difference between blowing load and watching porn.

I had a major porn binge 2 days ago which lasted almost 4 hours... going to all my old favourite sites. Good thing was I didn't fap so I kept my energy, but by doing that it all the more emphasised how the rush of dopamine affects your system. Looking at the porn I could literally feel it as a trickle of warm fluid being released from the top of my brain. It made me high like a drug. The next day I felt pretty much exactly how one feels after a night of hard drug use. (E, coke) ie wanting to shut myself away from the world. Trust me I know.

Its insane how the irresponsible manipulation of the brains dopamine levels effects us. I had no idea of this until I read YBOP. I'm very grateful and directly experienced the feeling. Most guys are just totally unconscious of this.

The day after my porn binge I was almost suicidal... now my dopamine is reset I feel happy again.

How many chronic PMO abusers mistakenly pin their depression on external factors in their life? Whilst believing that their daily fap helps relax them?

Both Porn and Masturbation have their own unique negative effects every NF'er should clearly distinguish. They're two separate ball games in fact. Fapping without porn leaves you depleted of energy and motivation for a day, Porn without fapping leaves you desperate for higher stimulation/novelty. Obviously combining the two you get a double dose of suckage.

Is anyone here having problems with hentai (anime porn) along with/instead of porn? If so, let's make a deal. I'll tell you my story and you tell me yours.

God bless Hayao Miyazaki for introducing me to anime. But God damn Fakku for introducing me to hentai. I am 15 years old and going to be a junior in high school. In middle school, I was addicted to video games, which led to me being socially awkward. I started fapping around 13 or 14, when I discovered that watching videos of sexy anime girls on YouTube. Being a horny teenager going through puberty, I soon wanted more. I began to look up "insert anime chick's name here naked" and other stuff like that. Eventually, it led me to this piece-of-shit (although I didn't know it at the time) website called Fakku. This gave me my first exposure to any kind of porn.

At first, I thought it was all good. Hentai made me feel good, the "girls" there made me feel less lonely (I wanted a girlfriend around that time), and my parents didn't have to know a thing about it. Problem was, it escalated. And it escalated at almost the exact same time that I got my first girlfriend. She was (and still is) really nice, and she (I feel like puking saying this now because I never realized it until the relationship was over) almost had the looks of many of the girls in the hentai I read; she just didn't show it that much. So we went on a few dates. By this time, I had a reputation for being clumsy and overreacting a lot. But she dated me anyway, probably becaus she was in her first relationship as well and didn't really realize what I was (but neither did I).

GUY A:

Hentai has always been a soft spot for me because it broke the boundaries of extremes that normal porn can offer in terms of torture. next to hentai only stories could proceed that far without it becoming just plain murder, which in my view isn't in any kind sexual even if the death is the result of bdsm. but without death, the limitless and unrealistic torture was one of the few things that could get me to highs of arousal where i'd lose myself completely for as much time as i was able to spend on it.

bad, bad times.....

GUY B:

I have a friend who is obsessed with hentai. He's got a 5000+ image collection. It's sickening. He talks about it in fucking public and to women he's trying to "flirt" with. He says that because of hentai, he has a unrealistic ideal of women. He's into everything, even the more creepy stuff.

GUY C:

Hentai caused lot of pain to me when I was young.

We used to "trade" movies (mostly not porn) with friends because the size was just too big for downloading from internet in decent quality. However NOBODY really nobody got hentai so I was forced unwillingly to download them from internet on my own! Omg it sucked so hard, 550MB of endless pain on dial-up.

GUY D:

 I wish I could help more, but I have the same problem (hentai) and can only say that if you really like anime, hentai is the worst possible thing to pervert how the characters and the stories feel to you. If you're on hentai sites for novel stories, you know it's a boredom problem alone, which the community can help you conquer. (Working out and getting away from the computer helps a lot.)

GUY E:

Wow this sounds familiar. Shota was how I got off a few years ago. First time I saw hentai was in 5th grade, and after I got home from school I would just go in my room and stare at it. I didn't know how to do anything like masturbate but all I knew was that I liked watching this stuff. Shit fucked with my head. All through that year, I kept seeing more and more fucked up shit, and I'd take breaks from watching it for like a month when I saw something too bad. It really fucks with a kid's mind to see Raven from Teen Titans fighting slade on saturday morning and then seeing her get raped by him 4 hours later. That, and I started getting into that bondage shit. Monster rape and needles in obscure places really made me a perverted monster all through middle school. I never really gave it up til about 3 or 4 months ago when I started nofap for the first time. I used to just go on stumbleupon and cycle through every picture fapping. I first realized I had a fapping problem when I noticed I was getting into futanari. That was my porn tastes getting more ridiculous and was my first sign of an addiction.

But this is the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I like being sober from fapping. Remember bro, this isn't a sprint you run alone. It's a marathon with all of us right beside you cheering you on. Good luck, and don't be a slave to impulse.

I'm probably older than most in here (38).

I was probably in the ideal/worst situation when porn was transitioning to video tape in the early 80's. Moving video used to be very tough to get a hold of. My best friend's dad was the neighborhood guy who distributed porn before it was readily available for renting in the local mom and pop video stores that came along before Block Buster and all the corporate run video chains.

I was nine years old when I was shown my first porn vid. Plus my friend and I had access to the stash. It was the equivalent to having access to Internet porn back in the day with no parent to stop you.

I had seen porn mags before that age between the ages of five - seven.

30 years later, basically, I don't think it is a good thing to have the access that we have to porn then or now. It is probably way worse now because if you have children it is very difficult to shelter them from it. You can do what you can in your own home, but that's not going to stop anything.

I think fantasies should be left to behind closed doors and in your own head; people need to see that stuff acted out. It probably is not healthy for you to view it.

Even for my own relationships, I think having all this stuff basically planted in my head hasn't been a good thing. I've never been married (although I could have once) and subconsciously - or even consciously - I'm I am always searching for a girl that is better than the last one in the bedroom. Also, watching this stuff over the years, doesn't exactly make you want to settle. It would almost be like if you saw a porn chick and you were not allowed to watch any other chick. Maybe that is part of being a guy, but personally, I don't need the help of the porn industry to act out this stuff that they have planted into my head.

Most people would praise monogamy, but watching this stuff brainwashes you into not being like that. It's a case of monkey see, monkey do.

Serious Consequences from Porn

Besides relationship problems, a huge amount of time wasted, and all the other common addict problems, has anyone had any very serious problems in their carreer or at University / College? I'm asking because I'm going to be a college dropout this year and porn has played a great part in it... I didn't study enough (lack of motivation, depression, so much time wasted on pointless web browsing) that next year I won't be allowed to enrolle back in college... this is very serious and a life changer for the worst reason. More depressed feelings are in the post and when they arrive... I don't know what to do!

How Often Did You Fap Before Starting?

At least once a day. Depending on the day, as much as 3 or 4 times. Once or twice was normal.

The problem is, I did marathon sessions. it was a game to me, to see how long I could go. I'd keep myself on the edge for over an hour, switching porn sites and genres, reading erotic fiction, long vids, etc.

Should have been obvious that i was desensitizing myself. Oh well. 3 days and counting.

My parents knew, but never talked about to me about my habits

GUY 1) I was caught a couple of times by my parents, and they believe that pornography and all that is wrong. Instead of talking about it or doing anything, they just mildly let me know that they knew.

This taught me that I just had to be sneakier with it.

 I wish they had sat me down, or reached out when I was getting old enough. I have kept so much of it in the dark because it was easier that way. I am sick of it.

GUY 2 ANSWERS: Your parents may think porn is wrong, but I would be surprised if they knew that high-speed internet porn can create arousal addiction, and that the addiction can cause many devastating symptoms.

The effects of habitual high-speed internet porn use are only now starting to come to the forefront since residential high-speed internet has only been prevalent for the last 10-12 years or so.

I would guess that many parents view internet porn as just a digital version of Playboy. They may want you to avoid it but figure it's just a natural phase that a young person will go through.

So I don't blame parents for not teaching us (although I respect that your specific circumstances may be different). Most probably don't know anything about this issue.

Perverted, Horny Bastard Addicted to Porn, Day 3 And Counting...

I never realized I had a problem until I stumbled upon yourbrainonporn.com. Experiencing all classic symptoms: desensitization, progressively kinkier tastes, soft erections (is this an oxymoron?), plummeting libido, etc. I've been on a wild goose chase to resolve sexual issues for years trying all kinds of medication, therapy, self-help, accupuncture, etc. but never attributed it to porn. ATM, DP, FF...the kinkier, the better. In fact, regular porn has become dull. After the battle I've been fighting, getting off porn and no fapping almost seems like too simple of a solution. But this all totally resonates with me. I've got a long-road and am fighting the cravings. Funny, I don't know what to do with my computer anymore? Anyway, I'm glad to be here now.

LINK

I think it is a result of the pendulum swinging too far in the other direction. For a long time in this country, sex before marriage, and any kind of non-procreative sex, was considered sinful and evil. Then along comes the "sexual revolution", and sexual freedom becomes a way to rebel against the mainstream.

Flash foward thirty years and those hippies bangin' in the mud at Woodstock are parents, business owners, politicians, etc. Sexual freedom becomes mainstream, and nothing is considered taboo. Then eventually their children, little Johnny and Lisa start being sexually active at 12, and it burns when Johnny pees and Lisa has warts on her nether regions. (straight/"normal") People start to freak out about AIDS. Masturbation begins being promoted as a safe alternative to sex. "Pornography" at this time is little more than Playboy, maybe some softcore stuff on cable access, but for the majority of boys the only way to get that excitement is to pause your VCR at JUST THE RIGHT TIME (remember that?? Holy shit!! Just thought of it while typing this).

Pornography - after a very important Supreme Court ruling - is totally protected by the First Amendment, unless its rape or kiddie porn or something. Now you have people who hate porn, but take the "I don't like what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to say it" mentality, seeing any attempt to infringe pornography as "Un-American"/regressive/repressive/reactionary. Hell, even feminists have begun to say that porn can be empowering for women (and even the pornstars).

However, nobody thinks ahead to the mid to late 2000's, when Johnny and Lisa can access every disgusting fetish and -philia in High Definition in a nanosecond with high speed internet access (Oh man... remember waiting like 5 minutes for a single PICTURE to download in the late 90's??? Damn, writing this is taking me BACK!). Hell, today most MIDDLE SCHOOLERS can access every sick twisted fetish that has ever existed in seconds with a device that they can fit in their fucking pocket.

A lot of "good" intentions gone wrong. Principles that exist in a vacuum don't always make sense in the real world, and technology changes things. People start believing things in a herd, and anyone who questions conventional wisdom is vilified. Doctors hate admitting they are wrong and resist contradictory evidence until dragged kicking and screaming to the truth. Not to mention pornography is one of America's biggest export and is a multi-billion dollar a year industry (boggles my mind that anyone pays for porn, but to each his own).

And there you have it. Sorry to be so long winded but your post got me thinking!

GUY 1) It’s amazing how porn has desensitized us. My extreme porn addiction started around 19. But between the ages of 14-19, I use to get erections nearly by all type of women, skinny, busty, average. Heck, once my teacher at school when I was 17 showed some cleavage and I had an erection for 2 hours and even old women sometimes turned me on. I have not been excited by a woman in real life since 19 and I am now 23. I hope I can get that feeling again, LINK

GUY 2) Same here. Its hilarious the things I used to get turned on by. Average looking 40 year old women with nipples showing through their shirt, for example.
Now, I could have my favorite type of girl butt-naked touching me and not get turned on.
Its so absurd all you can do is laugh

GUY 3) This. No porn does not lower standards, but the opposite way around. Watching (too much) porn increases your standard with as a results that no normal woman is good enough for you to make a move.

GUY 4) Before reboot, a woman can be hot but one imperfect feature will be enough for you to dismiss her as being "not hot". During reboot, I'm finding that a woman can have an imperfect feature but a nice ass/body/rack/smile/face/personality/etc. is enough to wipe the imperfection out.

It's definitely my favorite part of the reboot to go out and about and realize that the women are more attractive than before. Funny how not emptying your balls puts a layer of an unknown species of make up on a women's face that causes them glow.

GUY 5) Not watching porn brings you back to reality.

None of us are perfect and all of us have physical faults. Going without porn makes us more accepting of all those imperfections and more content as people rather than chasing perfection that does not exist in the real world.

GUY 6) So... it's been my experience that the longer I go without porn, the more I find myself noticing women I wouldn't have even considered before.

GUY 7) I think porn and even pics give unrealistic perceptions of women. They can get rid of the extra fat here and there and everywhere and the girl ends up looking like a bonafide model. REal women are so much better!

 

LINK - Porn and hyperreality

I just thought I'd share some thoughts about why P and M can be so psychologically damaging in the long-term, and why I think that heavy users experience such anxiety in real sexual experiences.

Of all the possible reasons for me to embark on NoFap, one of the most significant has to do with the way that porn twists my (and probably your) perception and expectations of reality. I found that not only was my body conditioned to be aroused by images and video rather than the real tactile contact of a partner, but that, psychologically, my expectations regarding sex were so skewed that I was seriously disappointed in the real thing. Porn presents an artificial, distilled sexual experience, and encourages us to identify with the subjects thereof, and over time this identification commandeers our libido. Over the course of a long-term addiction, porn use creates a sense of depersonalization regarding sexual experience, which reduces the desire for real partners who do not resemble those found in porn, and creates disappointment when our experience does not compare to that found in porn. This happens unconsciously, and if you're addicted, chances are that you are not even aware of it. Porn is a substitute for reality, but it's an effective one: every detail is designed to arouse, tailor-made to feed your sex-related dopamine circuits.

Moreover, porn is anxiety-free. There is no risk involved in opening up some images or videos. No chance of rejection, no demands on your part to say or do the right thing. I think that this is the reason why so many heavy porn users feel such anxiety when talking to women, or when in a real sexual experience - we are used to simply receiving such rewards with little to no work, and therefore we have built up no tolerance to the risk and anxiety which naturally come with it. P and M are easy and undemanding, and provide us with gratification quickly and efficiently.

This is their true danger - their ability to twist our perceptions of reality and to make us unsuitable for real partners. Only by leaving porn and masturbation behind can we reclaim our libidos for the real world, and discover the rewards of the possibilities around us.

GUY 2)

Another example of hyper reality is being able to skip around. The ability to jump around caused actual sex to be much the same. A short moment here a short moment there, and I am talking about with a partner. Totally made sex feel like a chore. Then instead of being in the moment, in my head I would "pull myself out of my body" and watch myself. Rather have images of porn going through my head of what that position looked like all those countless times I had watched it. So ya, porn fks with reality.

GUY 3)

Porn has precisely altered my reality. I think I am lucky that I haven't gone over excessive, although I stuck with it regularly. Somehow, I think I have a case of oneitis, which has in some way kept me sane and somewhat interested in finding the one partner... But it's a serious problem which I am tackling now to fix for good.

 GUY 4)

I remember reading an article which discussed how those who were exposed to porn as their first sexual experience are far worse off than those who had real sexual experiences when they were young. Although porn can be damaging for everyone, it's worse for those who were first introduced to sex via pornographic videos.

 GUY 5)

agreed. i think researchers and therapists really need to start taking pornography addiction seriously in a larger social context. the turn-over rate for actress alone should have sparked debate, but we all know both actress and audience are suffering from porn-induced neurological problems that distorts reality and cripples lives.

 GUY 6)

Porn makes real sex less enticing, NOT because the girls in the videos are theoretically 10's and your partner is a theoretical 6. It has more so to do with the sheer amount of content broadband internet can provide.

We can afford to be infinity picky and only view the most exciting scenes by skipping around and searching for very specific genres.

Do you really think that even if a porn addict did have an opportunity to have sex with one porn star that the experience be JUST as arousing as internet porn? Of course not. In this scenario, you wouldn't be able to click to the next porn star when you're bored of her.

LINK-A cautionary tale from someone about to turn 30

Hi,

I discovered NoFap just a few days ago, after stumbling upon the TedX talk. Anyone who may be be unsure about NoFap: Heed my cautionary tale.

In a few months I'll be turning 30. I've been addicted to PMO for about 10 years. Each year my PMO addiction worsened, my life got suckier.

From a young age I fapped. I fapped even before I really understood what I was doing. But because I'm old(ish) I didn't have a high speed internet connection as a teenager. I had dial up until I was about 20. And even when the early high speed connections came along, there wasn't the vast vast amounts of free, extreme porn that is available today.

But I digress...

In a 7th grade I finished with straight A's in school, and was made dux of my school.

By the time high school ended, I had failed a couple of subjects, and barely passed the rest.

When I think back to my life at age ~20, I had a curious confidence about me. Despite the fact that I was very very skinny, I stuttered, I was a bit short, and never had a dollar to my name - I had at least half a dozen girlfriends between the ages of 19 - 23. I had a certain 'happy-go-lucky' attitude. I wanted intelligent, creative, nice women. I didn't really care about cup size.

Of course back then, my PMO addiction was only just beginning to come about.

At age 20 I wrote a novel (being a writer is my life's dream) - it was shit, but hey I wrote a novel. I also drew, wrote songs, played in bands...

But things got worse. My PMO increased (although I didn't realise I had a PMO addiction, or that such a thing existed). Not a single one of those relationships worked out. The sex was usually terrible at first because of ED, then they got OK for maybe a month, and then they always went sour after that.

But no doubt you're sensing a pattern of decline here.

By the time I was 23 I had dropped out of uni. Twice. I had no girlfriend, no degree, a dead end part-time job I hated, and I was probably a borderline alcoholic.

Over the next 7 or so years things just got worse. I went three years without so much as a kiss. Three years, not even a kiss from a girl. I never went back to uni. I never found a good job. I hated going out. I would look at girls with a weird kind of anger and hatred. It hurt me that I couldn't have all of them, whenever I wanted.

I craved intimacy less, but extreme sex more. I wanted a blonde fake-titted bimbo that'd let me... well, I won't go into details.

I started fapping to more extreme porn. Things got worse. I became weird and reclusive. My stuttering got worse. My life was an absolute mess. I was so lonely, but I never once made an effort to meet anyone new. Any minor opportunity that came with a girl (very rare) I blew due to severe social anxiety.

All this time I blamed everything I could - my heavy alcohol drinking, the city in which I lived, my insular group of friends. Bad luck. But all that time, ticking along in the background, getting worse and worse, was my PMO addiction.

Finally things got so bad I just had to get out of there. So at age 26 I went backpacking around Europe for 4 months, on a shoestring budget. I backpacked around Europe for 4 months without so much as a kiss from a girl. Outside of that it was a great experience: but I always felt like the weird reclusive one that didn't belong. Girls seemed to treat me with a sense of caution. Like something wasn't quite right about me. Paranoid, perhaps. Or maybe there really was something there.

After several years of anger, loneliness, backpacking, and PMOing until my arm hurt - I met a girl. We had an awful 18 month relationship while I was living overseas. We virtually never had sex. It took several attempts before we actually successfully had intercourse. I blamed issues with anxiety. Which was in part true. But looking back.. yep, you guessed it: porn induced ED.

So maybe she wasn't my soul mate, but it could have at least been an OK relationship. Or something. Instead, I fapped constantly and never had sex with a girl who was there, ready and willing. Basically I made both our lives miserable.

Now I am 29. I re-enroled in uni last year, and failed about 50% of my subjects. After taking six months off, I begged them to let me back in. I was on anti-depressants for about two years, but recently gave them up in favour of natural remedies. I started exercising, using light therapy, getting Omega 3's and a bunch of other stuff - all of which helped.

But there was something missing.

I have no doubt that most of my sad story of decline is directly correlated to PMO addiction. At 29 years of age, I am in a worse position than when I was 20. I am still stupidly skinny, I still stutter, I am still flunking higher education and I still don't have a dollar to my name. But to add insult to injury, I'm also old.

As it turns out in about 90 days I will be turning 30. Just in time for a 90 day reboot.

And I am at day 5!

TL;DR --- I am three months away from turning 30. I have fapped my life away. I have nothing: no degree, no money, no girlfriend, virtually no happiness.

Don't turn out like meDon't turn out like me

Couple of comments.

I'm early 40s, so I started masturbating in middle school before digital porn was readily available. My friends and I would get all excited to just snag a Playboy or Hustler magazine. We shared video porn and our dirty magazine stash with each other. But we didn't become reliant on porn to masturbate.

Since you're in high school, sex is still relatively a new thing so of course you're likely fapping a lot. What becomes dangerous is PMO and becoming reliant on digital porn, especially when it supersedes real physical relationships. I couldn't tell from your post if porn is the issue or just heavy fapping.

My takeaway from your post is that you're fapping to release stress v. pure horniness. Sure, high school is stressful. College is stressful, A job/career is stressful. Having a family is stressful. The stress doesn't end, especially in this digital age. But fapping/PMO shouldn't become a habit for stress release or escaping. I, personally, became reliant on PMO not only as a stress release, but when I am bored. It just became a habit--and my personal relationships have suffered. Everything has an opportunity cost.

The more time you spend fapping/PMOing, the less time, desire, etc. you have for real human sexual relationships. My advice, fap when you are horny. Don't use porn. Focus on real sexual relationships with girls and don't become reliant on fapping to take the place of girls. Everything in moderation. If you are fapping 4-5 times a day, that's a big time and energy drain. Ask yourself if you are really horny and need to fap...or are you just bored or stressed.

Are you implying that the people who said that were into child pornography?

I doubt he's implying that, but even if he is, you're missing the primary point of his post. Which is basically this: Given enough exposure to porn in combination with time our novelty seeking mechanism will make even the most vanilla heterosexual jerk off to the wierdest, most depraved shit unimaginable.

In my case women being strangled. Now, I'm 60 days into reboot with over 20 days since my last relapse (3 in total) and yet I STILL LOVE THAT SHIT. Intellectually I know it's fucked up but my messed up limbic system does not give a flying fuck. It knows what it likes and what it likes is to watch chicks struggling while being strangled to death. Ideally while being simultaneously raped. I fervently hope that with time my sexual response to such sick stimuli will wane. Right now I still love it.

Or japanese chicks smearing shit on themselves anyone? Not to my personal tastes but you stumble across that ... ah ... shit all the time. Clearly the being-fucked-while-covered-in-human-excrement community is a big one.

Or vomiting?

Or anorexic girls?

Or children?

Or fucking babies?

This is why the alarm is being sounded. The path from sexual normal (i.e. consensual sex between individuals or groups of indivduals) to sexual abnormal (where people are non-consensually hurt or humiliated) is a long one and up until recently - with the rare exception of notorious kings or emperors - it's generally taken a lifetime of depravity to get there; with the endless flood of internet porn available now however, it can now take a few years, perhaps mere months in some extreme cases.

That's what he's saying.

Plus, let's be blunt, it is extremely likely that some of the posters here are hooked on illegal material. All I have to say about that is well fucking done for finding your way here and work your ass off to overcome your addiction. Plenty here are cheering for you.

LINK to thread: Your lowest point? (ROCK-BOTTOM) [TRIGGER WARNING]

 My boyfriend mentioned not too long ago that he "feels bad" if we do doggie style or some other position that I'm not facing him alot. He feels like it is objectifying me. We have shower sex a lot (it's our favorite) so we have tried starting off in the bedroom or living room and ending up in the shower so we can use a variety of positions. I would say he has learned a lot from sex through porn, but doesn't mean he "objectifies" me when we have sex. The problem with him and porn is, he now has a bit of sex "ADD" where he can't do one position for very long because he will get bored; a result of watching multiplie screens of porn on the computer.

LINK to thread

Porn was many of our first sexual experiences, and so we have based our sexual expectations on those standards. but porn is an image, a substitute, for the real thing. so when the time came to be intimate with a real person, our sexual expectations were based on a symbol which was fantastical and disconnected from reality. often that's the point of porn; i.e. achieving multiple orgasms every time, hyper-sexualized female partners, cartoonishly sized sex organs, bizarre toys, etc. This "virtuality" of porn allows you to stay emotionally detached via several degrees of symbolic separation.

The real thing is much more complicated, and is a much more vulnerable social experience. This realness causes confusion and extreme self-awareness stemming from the shock of dealing with a reality you suddenly realize you have no reliable information on, despite "studying" the symbols. When presented with the real thing, the floor falls out underneath the simulacrum, and you're left with a case of ED and a profound lack of confidence. Shit sucks man.

Watched the TEDx lecture last week and decided enough was enough. I'm tired of feeding myself bullshit symbols because its easier. I'm tired of being separated from my sexuality by layers of false symbols and real physical dopamine addiction (this legitimately scares me). I'm just tired of being that person.

GUY 3)

I have been pondering this recently, too. In nightclubs, I often notice people spending more time taking pictures of themselves and their friends than they do actually participating in the experience. They hungrily hoard these trophy images as existential commodities to be exchanged in social media. Reality becomes mediated through the prism of manufactured experience. Interesting stuff.

GUY 4)

Yeah, I think that nowadays all our interactions are 'prefiltered' through TV and media so our expectations are wildly divergent from reality. Ever been to a party that's been like the ones on TV? But how much would you rather be at one of those than the shitty ones you mostly end up at?

But yet there's probably lots of interesting real people out there. There's also something like a 'fetishization' of lifestyle and enjoyment, so we're forced to expect that our lives 'should' be about enjoyment, and that the way to this is to cultivate our tastes and what we do endlessly - everything has to be carefully planned to provide the maximum enjoyment, which of course doesn't sound that fun to me if it's so overwrought.

GUY 5)

I think the quality that makes it porn is that its voyeuristic. You aren't participating in the act, but you're still getting off on it. You get the sights and sounds, but you don't get the smells or the touches (your hand doesn't count). It's totally impersonal.

It's something you desire, and it's a substitute for a taboo or something you think you can't readily get, whether it be a more attractive partner, a particular kink, or just sex in general. Porn becomes a symbol of sexual frustration or dissatisfaction, and as long as you cling to it as a source of sexual gratification, you aren't being healthy.

Idk, maybe it's like cigarettes and some people can handle just a few, but I think most people find that just a few leads to an addiction eventually. Your mind forms bonds between those things. Your brain just interprets code, and when you have pleasure, it takes note on how to get there again. It sees the pattern of dissatisfaction-resignation-pleasure-shame, and thinks that that is the typical pattern after enough repetitions. You bring that into the bedroom with a partner and it doesn't end well.

It doesn't matter if your partner is good or not, it's about how your brain grows into self-defeating thought patterns.

Anyone noticed how drastically world changed in last few decades ?

I'm wondering, how many PMO addicts were there, before sexual revolution. Before first magazines. How many heart diseases before food modifications. How many depressions before removal our touch 100% wild nature air. And sun. How many lung cancers before cigarettes.

THE thing is to realize, that world is changing just too fast. In last 100 years we changed probably much more, than in last 1000+ years. And here is the schema:

1) Exciting, but bad in long-term behavior is introduced for money, or just for evil

2) People get hooked

3) Precise, scientifically backed-up research took decades to kick-in

4) Hooked-up people start to get educated

5) Starting behavior elimination

Problem is that this whole cycle to damaging. Cigarettes were (widely) introduced early 20th century. It may take few decades to completely ban. We now know, that certain types of foods are harmful. Yet, in that case we are still in phase 2-3. Guess where we are with pornography ? Lots of scientific research is just few years old.

The thing is, in future we will look at pornography like we do on cigarettes -- soo good short term (1 minute). Soo bad long term (80 years, or whatever your life expectancy is). So, be early adopter. Do something, that everyone wil do in maybe 80 or 100 years right now. Start abstaining - now.

I wish you good luck

P.S: To pussy chasers - since it probably is better than PMO, before contraception (=what we are used to) and 1960 sexual revolution, in advanced/western society sex was largely connected to married couples (social view on children outside marriage was good enough motivation not to fulfill urge with sex). So, sex was also more rare (and therefore precious, and therefore better) than today. Moreover, too much sex can be result of today world ads and media approach

TL;DR -- One day, we will ban pornography same as we will ban cigarettes and junk food (cigarettes ban is real in future - see Scandinavia, Australia,...Few countries (in EU at least) have junk food tax, etc.)

Think back to your PMO days: if you were browsing porn, and for whatever reason your erection starts dying down, what's your first thought? "I haven't orgasmed yet! Gotta get it back up!!" Which in turn leads to more hardcore porn and harder rubbing/jackingoff. Why? Because the focus is on the erection. Your mind is clouded with thoughts of your own erection & orgasm. Over time, we feel even an 'embarrassment' to not be able to get off to softcore porn, so we dig deeper and deeper for the hardcore. In summary: the glow of the moment depends solely on your erection - if the erection goes away, so does the manly feeling.

• I've realized now just how much the media and porn has affected people's self images. It's pretty funny to see guys complaining on the internet about how they think their 7 inch dicks just won't get the job done. Or about how everything thinks they need to be a ripped porno style hunk to get chicks. How instead of doing interesting hobbies that they enjoy, people try and get buff to impress other people. (Side note: if you enjoy going to the gym keep doing it, it'll definitely help a little bit with chicks, but who cares about some ripped guy who isn't interesting? As long as you're decently in shape it really shouldn't matter too much)So get off the internet. Stay away from the media.
• Think about for a second for just how many people these days are playing video games and constantly jerking off instead of talking to women. All of these people who in previous generations would have had no problems, no social anxiety, nothing. They'd just do it. But instead, escapism has come to the point where no one has to care about it anymore. And a crazy ridiculous number of people seem to have this problem, too. I used to be this kind of person. But I realize now that talking to women isn't rocket science. It's meant to be spontaneous, awkward, whatever. There's meant to be failure at times. That's life. Just do it.
• Speaking of the above I remember back to one of my roommates. He played video games(and likely PMO'd) pretty much any time he wasn't in class and I remember him always asking my other roommate, "Did you find me a cute girlfriend yet?" Now really, what kind of an attitude is that?

LINK TO THREAD

For me it is less about the looks of the women in porn, but more about the sex acts themselves. People younger than me who got their sex education from porn may think that some of these things are natural. Hell, even though I know that I shouldn't want them all the time, I find myself thinking about doing these acts. Isn't it weird that the most natural act of all, cumming inside a woman, is now considered a special fetish of its own?.

Coworker JUST discovered porn at age 37...his life is crumbling before him. Masturbating in the company car while driving.

Submitted by confinement84" on Fri, 2012-08-31 

Ya. I thought that title would get your attention. A coworker of mine is your typical construction worker. He had very little understanding or knowledge about computers so watching porn was out of the question without going to an old fashion porn store. A few months ago the company handed out new smart phones for Navigation to employees who did not already have one. It was only a matter of time before he discovered the magical world of porn. The other day he was driving down the road in a company car and masturbating on the highway WITH another coworker in the car. That is when you know you have problems.

The life of porn is already destroying his relationship with his wife. He was in a screaming match with his wife over the phone at the job site talking about kicking her out of their house. One coworker chimed in and said " go home make up with her and stick it in her butt" (sorry for the graphic wording.) My coworker responds with ... " I don't even want to. I am bored of her. I rather go home and jack-off to porn." LOL.

He was 100% serious when he made that statement, you could see it in his face. When he said that I was immediately thinking that his porn addiction was killing his relationship. If only he knew. I wouldn't dare preach to him about porn or reuniting.info as he would probably laugh in my face. I guess some people have to learn the hard way right? If at all.

Many of us deal with this addiction. Its a huge time waster, and yes...like alcohol. Some people can get to a normal use of porn..ie 15-20 minutes, get off ,and go to bed. Others have to cut it off completely. The 15 minutes quickly turns into 4 hours just like the "only one" drink inevitiably turns into a binge. Find out where you are and act accordingly.

(LINK)

Is fapping really the problem or is it the porn?

I'd say porn is "worse" than fapping. Fapping is bad in many cicumstances too, but not almost exclusively as porn. Porn makes you not work for things in real life, or makes you work for disturbed things like constant new sexual kicks. Porn can make you feel like a passive on-looker to sex rather than an active participant. Porn makes you forget the beauty of normal female bodies. Porn makes every sexual field feel "done" and leads to sexual boredom etc.

Is fapping really the problem or is it the porn?

My friend masturbates like 10-15 times a day. Not even exaggerating. He seriously has an addiction, but he thinks its normal. He also doesnt have internet access, so he never really gets to watch porn either. And he's never had a problem keeping it up in bed. On the other hand, I can't remember the last time I masturbated without looking at porn. But I might masturbate only 4-5 times a week on average. And I have tremendous issues staying hard. At first I thought it was nerves, but after getting more acclamated with sex, I actually found sex to be tiring and boring. Unless the girl was deepthroating me and telling me to choke her, I don't really find sex to be all that great. I'm very desensitized to the female anatomy.

So, I know its anecdotal, but those two infallible differences of our sex lives makes me think that porn is more detrimental than masturbation itself. I tried not fapping for 10 days before and that already made a big difference on how I viewed women, so I still think masturbation itself needs to be minimized. But maybe porn just really shuts off the the psychological part of your libido.

I have tried both and come to the conclusion that porn was the problem for me. I still fap at least once a week, just never with porn. I find my results are the same, and im happy with them. No e.d., still horny all the time, my voice is different, less anxious around potential mates, more confident, etc

Is fapping really the problem or is it the porn?

Hey guys, new member to the forums here. 

I recently started up my reboot (day 20!) and plan on making a journal soon but I am wondering what are people's thoughts on the extent of the problems caused by PMO.  For instance, I know for me it has caused real issues (ED, PE, loss of time doing better things, etc) but on average how bad do you think the affects of PMO are? 

I am in my mid 20s and know for sure that nearly every single friend I have is a PMOer.. these things just come up in guy talk sometimes and I would say its weird to hear someone who doesn't like porn.  So for the "non-addict" so to speak, do you think they too are experiencing problems?  Or if not, are they "destined" to face problems one day?

GUY 2)

It really is too early to tell the full extent of this problem. The birth of high speed internet is making this problem more widespread that would have ever been possible in the past. I myself am 21 and I didn't have high speed internet until I was about 15-16. Kids today will have it from day 1 and will quickly become more technology savvy than their parents (I plan to hide porn from my children with the same vigour that I used to show when searching for my own porn ) I would say that these changes are only just starting to have a real affect and it will be years until we know the extent of the damage - or atleast have a better idea of it.

The other significant point is that many people are addicted without having a clue that they have a problem. I will use myself as an example again - I was addicted to porn for years without knowing that I had a problem. I then spent about 6 months knowing i had a problem but not quite knowing what it was. I then disovered YBOP and everything clicked. This seems to be a similar theme amongst members and would suggest that there could be an untold number of sufferers who dont even know it yet.

It may well be that we are an exclusive few. It may be that the problem is very small and only a very very small percentage of users suffer the problems that we have experienced. In my opinion it is much more likely that this problem is widespread and growing rapidly. Lack of knowledge and research, the ability to hide the addiction not only from the people who know you but also from yourself, and the relatively new birth of high speed internet suggest to me that this is a problem which will grow to the point where the public in general become aware of PMO addiction. Only then will we start to have an idea of the bigger picture.

OP)

I am wondering if anyone else has noticed possible symptoms in their friends after having learned about YBOP?  I'm not saying this as in witch hunt style speculation but I can think of things my buddies have mentioned that now scream of possible PMO addiction.  A few I've noticed (and when I say friends I am not just coding for myself, though I can include myself in some of these for sure!):

1)  I have buddies that brag about how long they last.  I can think of at least a couple very good friends of mine who say they cannot orgasm at all during intercourse.  they laugh about it and suggest women love it because they can go so long... but they aren't getting off at all..  seems like pretty shitty sex to me..

2)  I know I have been guilty of PE a bunch of times and while I would never admit it to my friends, we have all joked about it and it seems that many guys can relate to this problem when its being laughed about.

3)  I know a couple of guys who cannot use public stalls... WTF??  Not saying this is from PMO by any means, but I have seen people on this forum and similar ones talk about this..  strange if you ask me.

4)  And for me THE NUMBNER ONE THING: Not trying hard to seek out girls!  Back in high school and early college it seems like every night was devoted to figuring out where girls would be and working to talk to them, hooking up with them, etc.  I cannot tell you how complacent sooooo many of my friends have become with not going after girls.  I am extremely guilty of this myself too.  My friends and I are in general pretty eligible guys (educated, jobs, good shape...) but it seems like many have just given up the thrill of seeking out chicks.  I have many friends who have not even so much as made out with a girl in the past year or two.

I know there is a real danger in speculating too much on casual observations.  I am not saying any of the things I mentioned are because of PMO but it definitely has me wondering if others have noticed any of this type of behavior in people they know well.

GUY 3)

We can't possibly know unless a random sample group is willing to share their intimate details. I think it's obvious that a lot of men watch porn, but how often do they watch porn? Do they binge? Do they use fantasy instead? Do they just masturbate to touch alone? Perhaps they can still have relatively ok sex, but it's not as good as it could be?

Within my group of friends I would say that a lot of the sex talk is simply just that... talk. Those who don't have girlfriends don't appear to have sex very often - sometimes months and months apart.

In my opinion, those who had a girlfriend, and had sex at an early age are probably better off. If they were able to have sex before any addiction took hold then they've probably reduced, or even stopped, looking at porn because they can be satisfied with real sex. But with every new generation comes a new danger. As internet is so fast and cheap these days, it's far more likely that kids will get addicted long before they get into a sexual relationship.

GUY 4)

On one hand, I feel like it has to be incredibly widespread. Reason being internet porn is everywhere and it's quite addicting.

On the other hand, I've been on different forums or had real life discussions among friends & the consensus seems to be their porn use is controlled and they have a healthy sex life. Sure, I know most wouldn't admit to excessive porn use. But since most of my friends legitimately have sex on a regular basis perhaps the urges aren't as strong.

And it's probably widespread with certain groups and not others. I suspect it's rampant among males under the age of 20, or individuals who are sexually inexperienced/ perpetually single (ie myself). Ironworld mentioned this in the post above and I believe he nailed it.

So to answer OP's question: realistically it probably falls somewhere in the middle. Porn addiction is out there and many are falling victim to it BUT there's also a decent chunk of the population that either doesn't find it appealing or is busy getting the real thing.

The danger likely here is that the porn will become more exciting than your girlfriend. She's human and has self respect after all. Pornographic pixels have neither of these limitations. You'll eventually expand your pornographic tastes since your sex will be based on the porn, and not her. If It's based on porn, it will be subject to neverending novelty, always. So your girlfriend will get fed up with you asking her to do things she's not comfortable with, since the damn abused pixels will do it for you, but she will not. You should find satisfaction with your girlfriend, enjoy every aspect about her, love her, seek out ways to work with her, and leave porn out of it

 In reality, men (or humans, rather) have struggled and fought against the inner conflict of sexual perversion (defined as a distortion of what's healthy) for millennia.

However, this is the first generation in which the onset of the Internet has spurred the production and distribution of pornography on a scale never before experienced in the history of man. Worse still is that such material is readily available to children and teenagers who have yet to enter or finish puberty and discover sexuality properly. Our minds are molded by this early exposure, and masturbation creates strong chemical and neurological pathways in the brain that cause us to gravitate toward porn instead of relationships.

What truly makes the NoFap community so unique is not that we're standing up against addiction to pornography and masturbation, but that we're taking this stand for ourselves. No one is forcing us to do this; Not our family, not our churches, not our government. We are choosing to make this change. We're doing it for our loved ones, for our communities, for the next generation.

We are turning the tide against the demise of fulfilling sexuality. We are rekindling the flames of passion and desire for our partners. We are returning to lifestyles worthy of men and women who live with no regrets.

Strength to you, fellow pioneers! - LINK TO THREAD

Am Ithere? No, it's just the beginning.

First of all, my addiction. I started watching porn when I was young, too young. It was a huge mistake and I blame it on society and on the pressure it puts on young men who are inexperienced about sex. When you are a teenager (or even a kid these days), if you don't watch porn you are not cool, an outsider. Porn is easily accessible and there are really no restrictions to what content can be seen. I wish I would have played more games as a kid, instead of wasting my time with porn. Now I'm too old, tired and worn out to have fun, things have gotten difficult. I wish I could have my childhood back, I feel like I've been molested in a way. Porn has taken everything from me - I have little memory of my adolescence, all I remember doing was looking at porn.

Porn is not realistic, it promotes misogyny and the idea that money can buy you anything. It gives you a false sense of fullfilment. I agree with people when they say that masturbation is natural and healthy, I wholly agree, but porn? No it is not. It's true that not everyone ends up being addicted but in my opinion there's no "right" dosage for porn. Sex is an important part of life and shouldn't be lived through a screen.