Relationships and Porn

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Most of our articles focus on the porn user, rather than the effects porn use on committed relationships. We do this because the vast majority of men we hear from are ages 16-28 and not in committed relationships.

Can Porn Make Your Mate Less Appealing? 

Written for online magazine "The Good Men Project," this article looks at the biological reasons why today's superstimulating Internet porn can dampen enthusiasm for sex with a mate.

Is porn dialing down humanity's pair-bonding program?

To go from being so numb, where only the most vile and shocking sexual images triggered a response in me, to getting such a positive sensation from a simple smile and meeting of the eyes ... that is what makes this whole process worth it."

         Understand your partner's porn challenge and how you can help

You have no particular objection to porn, but you love your partner and he has decided to give it up after using heavily for years. Here are 5 ways you can support his effort.

Today's butt-kicking erotic entertainment can cause mysterious symptoms 

Heavy use of porn or sex aids (vibrators, cyber sex) can cause male (and female) users to prefer such stimuli to real sex. It can also cause performance issues, making mates doubt their attractiveness and condom use uncertain. Finally, it can cause relationship friction that seems unrelated to overstimulation...but is.

Is overstimulation driving the sexes apart?

This article considers how today's superstimulating sex toys and Internet porn may be pushing young lovers apart.

How will you fill your pair-bonder “hole?”

Much of today's sex advice won't work well for lovers who want to remain paired. It's based on the dopamine-cranking "novelty-as-aphrodisiac" strategy: trying a new sex toy, watching porn, swapping partners, acting out a kinky fantasy, engaging in daring or painful sex, and so forth. Novelty and fear are certainly arousing. Yet novelty-as-aphrodisiac has drawbacks.

Are brains that fall in love more sensitive?

Only 3% of mammals are pair bonders - that is, they stay together to raise offspring. Other mammals are quite promiscuous. Neither are learned behaviors; they are brain programs. Pair bonding, or love, is actually a programmed "addiction." Experiments show that the animals that fall in “love” are more prone to addiction. Humans too?