Tales of Porn-Related ED 5

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These pages contain a very small sampling of self-reports by various men who have experienced porn-induced ED. For more stories check out these porn-induced ED threads:

For longer, more detailed ED recovery accounts see Rebooting Accounts 1,  Rebooting Accounts 2, and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads              


Lost Virginity, Thank You No Fap

I finally lost my virginity and it is all thanks to YBOP and NoFap. Even though I was a star athlete and did well in school I had very low confidence when talking with girls. Occasionally I would try a one night stand type of thing and would always fail to get fully aroused.

Well, I met a nice girl and we started dating. When it came time to have sex I couldn't get fully erect. She thought it was performance anxiety and continued to give me chances. I finally put two and two together and realized my POM was the problem. I found YBOP and it completely changed my life.

I have been completely PM free for 37 days but I really didn't want to wait so, with a little "help" I was able to achieve a full erection. I am still slightly numb (imo a guy during his first time should not outlast the girl). Although, I see beautiful women everywhere, my confidence is soaring and I have a renewed sex drive. I just want to thank everyone that shares on this site and that has given me support! No P ever again, it almost ruined my life.

I know the PMO was causing the majority of my problems with girls. NoFap was definitely something I needed and still need. Keep working at it. I found getting some new hobbies helped, especially exercise.


I've been reading a lot of these comments. Very encouraging, though honestly I don't feel like reading a novel's worth of MB stories. Haha. Seriously though, I'm on Day 1 now. Good Luck right.I have had all of the same problems as the men I've read about here. My only strange particulars is that I’ve used my Left hand (even though I'm a righty) and I tend to slide back into some strange fetish (nothing criminal, though, honest).

I'm 24 and I waited to have sex until this year. Honestly, while I am a Christian and do take sex very seriously, especially from my partner's perspective (I'm not into using anyone just for sex), the real reason I waited is that when you MB it’s just so easy. Looking back I realize the couple of really gorgeous girls who were seriously interested in me and I did nothing. I got a lot of teasing for that but honestly I was just not interested. I was a late bloomer and early in adolescence I think I just decided that the barriers to entering into a physical relationship (STDs, rejection, gossip, emotional attachments) were just too much for me.Such a cracked philosophy is only possible if you MB, sometimes multiple times a day. Otherwise you have to see how much real LIFE you are saying no too.

I mean, now I'm finally thinking about wife and kids and I have SO much to work on. That's ok; I try not to be too hard on myself. Nobody tells you about this sort of thing. Everyone just wants you to focus on work or getting good grades. MB is a great way to mitigate the stress that comes out of such a narrow minded lifestyle. Only recently I've started to lighten up.

When I was 21 I had my first ever gf and last year I had the first gf I was ever physical with. Honestly the thing ended so badly just because I couldn't get hard and I just couldn't deal with it and didn't see the situation ever changing. When I was with her initially I could get REALLY hard just because of the novelty factor, but soon that wore off. I never lost my virginity to her simply because I knew I wouldn't have an orgasm. That created a lot of hurt feelings and it was pretty bad. My last girlfriend, the one I lost my virginity too, really gave me a lot of encouragement on this, reaffirming that I AM a really good looking guy and have a lot to offer (which I think I'm finally old enough to say without any egotism). But no matter whom you are, this problem really hurts your masculinity. When you are aroused around a girl, you really feel like a man, there is nothing in MB that can match that.

Honestly for a while I thought I needed testosterone supplements: loss of desire for a woman, loss of ambition, increased depression. This is bad stuff, but I think this approach will work. I believe that now from what I've read here. Also, I just read an article on npr.com about Japan's "herbivore men" which I think are having the same problem, more interested in virtual sex than flesh.


Hello everybody, I’ve been reading all of the comments and I too am a porn addict. I am 20 years old and I’ve been masturbating to porn every day for at least 6 years between 1-4 times a day. I just got a new girlfriend 2 days ago and I’ve been single for about 2 years. We were "fooling around" today and i was hard. She started giving me a ******* and about 5 seconds into it I went soft. She just looked up at me and was like "what’s wrong?" I was just speechless and said I don’t know. I’m starting my no porn or masturbation thing 2day and I really hope it works.

Thank you all for the info that you have posted i know it’s not easy to admit all of this and I’m embarrassed about it all. But hopefully this will all work because i really like this girl and I don’t want to have to tell her that I can’t have sex or do anything because of my porn addiction. Wish me luck :) DAY 1 STARTS NOW


Day 1. I've seen a few doctors about my ED in the past, even clinics that specialize in ED, and no one ever spoke of too much M and P. It's strange that I always knew in the back of my mind what was causing my problems but I just didn't want to believe it. MB is such an easy, cheap fix. I wish I could remember what put me on this path to begin with.

Today I am utterly convinced that I will never look at P again, and as long as I have a girlfriend I will not MB. I know this because I have read so many testimonials regarding how effective abstaining is. I thank you all for sharing your comments. I can only assume most men here would not bring this up in conversation with anyone, but feel free to express themselves on this forum, anonymously.

After hearing about other people conquering this addiction, I finally have the hope and determination to make it happen. I just know I won't fall back on the habits that have ruined a good part of my life. It's been a burden on my mind for as long as I can remember. The guilt and anxiety and self loathing. This is the only place that has given me the will power to move forward. I have never known a life without constant MB and I think it's been responsible for a lot of negativity in my life. I wonder what life will be like months from now. I'll probably be kicking myself for not taking charge sooner. Such is life.


Born-again Porn Virgin (in the Hall of Fame next week)

Hi, I'm Robert, I'm 20 year old caucasian male, brown hair buzz cut, blue eyes, 6'4" and 250lbs, pretty handsome, I had Asperger's Syndrome since I was 1 month from 3 years, I'm a virgin, I'm a weight lifter and a 3-year community college student.

Anyway, my porn habit started out of curiosity by looking up naked pictures of women on Google, at age 9-10. So, I started getting into the habit of looking at those pics, including pics of naked anime girls, even discovered hardcore porn at 13-14. I'd been caught by my parents many times, even while I was masturbating to nude pictures near them. Now regarding the MO, I started masturbating at 12 by grinding my penis with a towel until I ejaculated (I've even came when I played a video game controller repeatedly and fastly pressing the buttons, against my crotch before then) I really began making a habit out of jerking off since, and my porn habit got worse as the years went, then so did my masturbation habit (see the correlation there?). I always "vowed" to my parents when they caught me again and realized I delete browsing history so that I think they wouldn't know I looked at porn, and I would constantly get paranoid when they were standing behind me while I'm on the computer, asking me if they can see the history and I would try to lie my way out of it, but I was a terrible liar lol.

Anyway, little did I know, my libido (i was always horny even when I was a child lol) was slowly diminishing the older I got, even when I was in high school, I couldn't even get aroused looking at a girl's round ass or hugging girls like I used to, in fact, about 6 months ago, that one day I went to go watch an amatuer sex video on my ipod (which i got about 2 years ago) and I attempted to jerk off, when I noticed, I couldn't even get semi hard manually stimulating myself while watching! Couldn't do a thing.. Made me realize, I had only been able to cum before I got hard for a pretty long time, before that happened. It was really bad, depressing even. I was at my worst case of ED!

I took 10 days off (which is the personal best record) porn and also caffeine, then I discovered that L-Arginine helps with erectile dysfunction. It got better since I started taking the pills (and was able to cum while being hard again) but they were not helping the problem, they were only masking the problem. I got to the point where I fully accepted the fact PMO will always be a part of my life and was able to cope with my usually negative and pessimistic attitude, which I improved to an extent.

 I didn't exactly have bad social skills or no confidence, but it was much less than it rightfully should've been. I wondered why I was shy, unable/rarely able to get a girlfriend (couldn't hold onto a relationship for long though, didn't think they were "right for me"), why I was depressed most of the time, mean, why I didn't like myself, lasted 5 more months after I discovered the ED, almost 8 weeks ago, I finally did some research after I again realized I still couldn't get it up even looking at porn without jerking off, wanted to see if porn really was causing the ED that I even noticed, then I discovered YourBrainOnPorn.com, and confirmed that not only porn was the problem, but my chronic masturbation!

That's when I no longer denied it, I struggled during this journey, lasting 2-3 days on average before each reset, managed to last 9 days porn free twice (one of those times was actually 9 days PMO free), and eventually the addictions got weak, and that time I actually began realizing my appreciation of real women, and life in general.

I also now believe the people who make porn, especially the porn industry, do such terrible things to their actors and actresses, all that bad, degrading shit.. Looking back, my habits really getting bad when I first got my iPod, and I could more easily masturbate while watching porn privately, I even masturbated to BBWs and SSBBWs, lesbian sex and farting fetish videos. Never got into Tranny, gay, or sex with animals or feces porn, though, although I did see the 2 Girls & 1 Cup and 2 Guys & 1 Horse videos. Both were bad.. Never watch.

I see now how messed up my life was on my porn days.. Never again. It has been over a week since my last relapse, and I knew I had to get rid of all the nude pictures I had, all the bookmarks and all the history, before I screwed up again... And I hadn't looked back since. In the past, (little did I know) whenever I stayed away from porn, I'd get back my ability to get a little erection, even though I was still masturbating constantly (been off and on porn those times) Eventually, I was convinced, that I will never watch porn again, rarely masturbate, and only wait to get laid, and do just that only, for the orgasm.

Now for the good news, and once again, I've been appreciating women, and people in general, becoming less self-centered and more caring, my social skills better (and pushing me to farther improve that skill), anger, depression, anxiety and boredom practically disappeared, improved physical performance (I can grab the basketball hoop with one hand when I run to it and jump, due to heightened testosterone resulted from abstinence, I'd believe. Pre-reboot, I could sometimes touch it), better muscular build, voice is a little deeper (both also due to heightened testosterone), I improved my confidence and self esteem, which is the key to attracting ladies and being treated better by them and people in general lol

I know I'm not out of the woods yet, in fact, I'm far from that point, I've been reading a lot of posts regarding rebooting/recovering from porn addiction here and there, and I know those posts encourage me to keep going. Thanks for taking the time to read this post!


Wow, so I believe that I have stumbled upon the end of the rainbow which I never have before, but apparently many of you have. It was grade six, 12-13 years old and my friend was like, you man, have you ever ejaculated, went home, came for the first time, and was hooked, every day, or at least multiple times per week for the last 8 years, (21 now) always thought it was normal thing.. and yes it is, but not till recently that I realized it was also a major problem, I got a gf when I was 16 for the last 3 years of high school, she was in grade 9, and wasn't ready yet, but it didn't bother me because i could still PMO, then when she was ready (i was hammered) we tried, I couldn't get fully erect or even near as much as I was able to with PM, i blamed it on the alcohol.

But when we tried more times well it was the same deal, so I always just looked to P/M to get it out, and I always found it weird that during any sort of sexual activity with her I couldn’t get it hard but with porn I was mint!, so for more years to come I really just looked past the fact or well, ignored it, me and the gf broke up got a new girl and was like, new girl, new erections? nope same old story and back to P/M i went, that was 2 years ago, now at 21, I’m looking deeper into the fact, because well, I want a sex life that so many of my friends have already experienced and are, I feel, out of place, or the stranger to the group (but this all in my head I don’t actually let them know).

Its been at the point for where over the last year, it has highly effected my confidence, to where the point that I don’t even bother trying to get to know any new females because I’m afraid of getting to that point of where ill need to get a erection, and I’ll just be humiliated, and there go my confidence even lower than it already is, and I believe that it isn't only effecting my confidence and mood sexually, but just in general aspect. so like many of you I’m sure, searched and searched to see wtf was up, kept coming back to its ok to masturbate, so of course i did, even though in the back of mind it didn’t feel right, and i knew for a fact it just wasn’t…. fun anymore, tried different aspects of P, just to get me going.

*didn't know I had so much to write*

I just felt like, letting you guys and gals know where i was coming from, but reading everyone’s success stories on here has giving me high hope, and now i realize that this addiction is a major problem in my life and needs to be stopped. so as of right now no more PMO, and well I hope you guys are telling the truth and not just a bunch of blokes getting paid to type **** on here, I would give anything to have a great sex life, and gain my confidence back to where I tried having sex for the first time. i hope this is an active forum and ill be sure to stay active. Good luck to everyone.


Okay, so back in June I was having copulatory ED with a partner and decided to start the reboot process. The first few weeks were typical. Shrinkage and no libido. By the end of the first month, I came across an article that said prone-position masturbation causes some of the same ED problems as masturbation. Except for a handful of instances in my life, I have always masturbated in the prone position. I decided to try and masturbate the normal way for once. When I did, it was exhilarating, and I felt like I had turned a corner. From that point forward my libido began to increase, as did the size of my genitals. Spontaneous erections, both partial and full were common. I started masturbating on occasion, and also began mutually masturbating with a girl I knew over Skype. I have not gone back to prone masturbation since.

By August, I thought I was mostly cured, if not completely. But then the chaser effect kicked in. First I caved, and began watching some soft core porn. Then I masturbated to hardcore porn on 3 separate occasions. Though I didn't immediately notice any physical side effects, I knew that I was messing up all the work I had accomplished. I had two more relapses, only each time, the type of porn I masturbated to was subsequently less hardcore, in a an attempt to wean myself off porn again completely. It should also be noted that while I had powerful erections masturbating alone without the aid of porn, and masturbating with a partner on Skype, I had difficulty maintaining an erection while masturbating to porn.

By the end of my last relapse, I decided to reboot again. It's been 6 days, and I feel like I'm back to square 1. I am dead from the waist down, experiencing shrinkage, with no libido whatsoever. I've had a couple of (barely) partial-erections (usually in the morning), but that's it. On day four I met a girl and we went home together. We made out, and I experienced some partial erections, but I was afraid that they weren't strong enough to do the deed, and as her hand crept down my pants I had to stop her, and tell her that I couldn't have sex.

I am supposed to see this girl again in 10 days after she gets back from vacation. I would like to function normally sexually by then, but I'm afraid it won't be enough time to reboot, and that possibly the anxiety over being able to get it done is making things worse. What should I do? I'm feeling more frustrated than ever before.


my 365 day lifestyle, neuroplasticty, addiction reboot

To make a long story short I am 21 years old. I have been masturbating since the 2nd grade. I started using Porn around 5th grade.

I got into my first sexual relationship at 17 with my first GF.  We had a fairly decent sex life, with the exception of me occasionally getting ED. I would definitely say that the ED was primarily caused by my years of Porn and Masturbation. However at the time I didn’t make the connection.

Fast forward a few years and that relationship is over and I’ve been with a few other women. Unfortunately for me a recurring theme has been mediocre erectile function.  I can tell I am a lot less sensitive to natural stimulus and while I am not completely impotent and can get it up , I 100 % am not functioning the way a 21 year old male should be and my sexual function is definitely poor and leaves a lot to be desired.

Since making the connection between porn /excessive masturbation and my ED I have done the following

1)   Install porn blockers on my computer and phone. This has honestly worked very well and I can say that in the last year this has helped tremendously with beating the porn part of the addiction. Have maybe watched 5 times in the last 365 days.

2)   However I have continued to masturbate. I have of course tried abstaining but it seems I fall into this endless cycle of abstain for 2 weeks, relapse for a few days, abstain for x amount of time, relapse and so on and so forth. The longest iv managed to abstain is about 4 weeks.

For me abstaining from porn is not enough.  I actually get the most benefit from avoiding masturbation and excessive sexual stimulation. However it seems as if the addiction is very deeply rooted in my brain and I literally am an addict who despite knowing how bad this is for you, wanting to quit, and hating himself for this vice keeps relapsing.  Of note, whenever I abstain for a semi extended period of time is when my sexual function is best.  I had a sex buddy for about 4 months at one point . During that period I only ejaculated from sex with her and my ED was markedly improved. Suppose just goes to show that sex is simply healthier, more natural, and easier for your brain to handle then binge masturbation sessions.

So I’ve grown feed up with this situation to the point where I need to take my serious action. It’s why I decided to join and start a journal. I want to hold myself accountable to this community.

I have devised the following plan of action that I am going to do my utmost best to adhere to for the following 365 days.

1)   Avoid all porn

2)   Avoid all masturbation

3)   Do my best to even limit sexual thoughts, fantasies, ideas.

4)   Do my best to avoid all triggers (caffeine, junk food, weed, alcohol)

5)   Only sexual activity I am allowing is with a girl. And that’s only if I feel up to it.

I realize 365 days is a very long time. Especially given my track record of the last year where I abstain for 2 weeks, then relapse ,abstain then relapse.  However I honestly believe I have a lot of damage and neuroplasticty to undue in my brain and ideally this would be a permanent lifestyle change.

I am going to track my progress daily on my calendar and write daily journal entries on here. I’ve made this forum my home page so I’m going to do my best to share my progress over the course of this year. Even if nothing remarkable happened over the course of the day I’ll write a few thoughts/ words.

Furthermore if I relapse I’m not giving up on the project, I’m simply going to do my best to not let it turn into a binge and keep it to that one ejaculation and continue with achieving the goals Iv set out.  After all even if you masturbate 5 times over the course of a year its significantly better than 5 times over the course of a week.

Finally everything I write on here will be the truth. If I screw up and I masturbate then ill post on here and say I fucked up. It’s part of the accountability of this forum.

Anyway day 1 started this morning. 364 more to go lol


Going for Gold - Odezur Reboot

Alright so back at this reboot thing. I won't start with a whole lot of backstory because I'm pretty much the typical story for young males of the high speed internet generation. I'm 22, started looking at lingerie mags around 12-13, then over 7 years, was looking at some pretty hardcore stuff. Stuff that when I really think about, is truly disgusting and I would never engage in.

ED started becoming noticeable during the last two years of college when I would drunkenly hook up with chicks. I've only been in a couple "long" term relationships so the majority of my sexual experiences have been one-three night stands. I chalked it up mostly to being too drunk, too tired. But when it started to get REALLY noticeable, aka having to work so hard to stay hard for condom, thats when I knew something wasn't going right. I did the whole sh'bang. Went to see urologists, tried supplements, tried this or that exercise. Nothing worked. In the back of my mind I think I always knew the porn addiction was insane. I would pretty much watch porn every time I got in the shower. The iPhone really pushed that into the extreme levels. Anyway I finally came across YBOP and it all clicked. Once I read the reboot accounts that mirrored my situation identically, I vowed to never watch porn again. That was about 8 months ago.

My first attempt at rebooting 8 months ago went pretty well. I got to about 60-75 days (was only keeping track in my head so I don't have an exact number) then I fucked up and relapsed hard. It quickly snowballed me back to the point where I was watching hardcore porn on my iPhone. I never really got back into porn like I used to but I was looking at it every 3-4 days. This went on with me attempting to reboot about 8 times and failing at about the 1 week mark. I don't know what was wrong with me. I just could not stop my urges. It felt like I became possessed by someone else every time I got the urge and my brain would just go "ah fuck it, why not?". I now know how truly insane that is. One part of my brain knowing I was messing myself up, the other part just saying ah fuck it who cares.

Anyway I finally got myself off to a decent reboot again, albeit with a bit of a rocky start for the first 2 weeks. I'm currently on day 51 with only one relapse. I'm using every trick of the trade including k9 blocking. The thing that really has helped me get this far though is accountability software. My little brother is an amazing dude who is the only one I've been able to open up to about a lot of this stuff. Part of me opening up to him was me wanting to make sure he didn't get into porn at his age and save himself my current dilemma. He's my accountability software guy, both for my iPhone and my computer. Its so great. Instead of feeling restricted from my internet browsing, I actually feel incredibly liberated from my urges. I know he will see if I look at anything porn related and the shame I would get from letting him down prevents me from edging even a little bit. Awesome.

So now I'm on day 51. 2 days ago I had a wet dream that i vividly remember being just like watching a porn video. It felt like I was just watching porn again. I woke up with the orgasm and everything. The next day I had the worst depression I've ever had in my life. Stress with school issues, moving to a new city, and a weekend of binge drinking a few days before, all combined with the "porn" wet dream to make me feel like the biggest piece of shit. Its been two days since then and I'm still not back to the happy, motivated dude I was on day 45-47. I decided to start journaling on here as a means of getting in touch with how I really feel and keep track of my reboot progress. Having some accountability to the community on here is also just some great extra motivation to keep on track.

It's kind of hard for me to judge where I'm at with this whole thing because I had a great start, months of relapsing, and now I'm on a decent attempt at it again. I know I'm technically not on day 51 because of my rocky start and 1 relapse, but I'm happy with my progress so I'm just going to keep counting up from here as a means of feelin good.

Maybe you dudes can help me figure out how recovered I am. Or how unrecovered...Here's some of changes I've noticed...

- Other than the last few days of stress and shiftiness after the wet dream, I do generally feel more motivated and happy to get out of the house. The fact that the weather is getting so nice helps that a lot too. I feel like working out, doing p90x as much on schedule as I can.

- The days leading up to the wet dream and even during the shitty days following, I've definitely had morning wood at about 70-80%. Sometimes it'll be morning wood that wakes me up, only to have me fall back asleep and wake up flaccid. Other times I'll wake up with a decent stuffy that sticks around for a couple minutes then dies off. Especially if I get up to walk around. I'm not getting discouraged though. On my first reboot attempt I remember getting to a point at about 60-70 days where I would wake up, go to the bathroom, and have to lean WAY back because I was still so hard.

- I do feel more in touch with myself. I find it much easier to look ahead in life and even though thats kind of scary sometimes, I think it's a good thing. I've come to recognize a number of insecurities I have, which I hope getting through this reboot will help.

- Right up to the "porn" wet dream, I found it easier to make eye contact with people. Especially on the street, or meeting someone new. Looking people in the eye really does show someone a lot of confidence. I highly recommend everyone try their best to look people in the eye when you speak to them, even if you find it difficult at first. It gets easier. I will say however that after my wet dream, I feel way more anxious in social situations. Hopefully I haven't been set back too much by this unconscious relapse

- You definitely do start getting more attention from girls but when you look at the gain in confidence, it really isn't that much of a mystery. Women are attracted to confidence in all its forms. If you're a confident dude who talks a whole bunch, women will be interested in what you have to say. If you're a confident dude who doesn't say too much, women will be interested in what makes you tick.  I still have yet to try out the hardware with any of them but I'm sure I'll be finding myself in more potential sexy times the more confidence I gain in myself and mr johnson.

It's weird. Some days with this I feel great and I'm convinced I could have successful sex with little to no ED. Other days I feel like there's no way I could get hard and I don't have any libido. Unfortunately Im supposed to go over and watch a movie with a girl tonight and I'm still feelin shitty from the "porn" wet dream. If I do get intimate with her, I'll do my best to enjoy and see what happens. If anything it'll be an indication of if I've made enough progress or not.


Hi everyone, I am a 25 year-old male, and I happened upon this site a couple of weeks ago in an online search for answers to my ongoing problems with ED. I pored over internet articles for years trying to find the reasons and remedies for the problems of a person in my shoes, and the articles I was able to find dealt almost exclusively with impotence in older men (sometimes briefly writing off impotence in teens and men in their twenties as brought on by "nerves," tersely point out that "if you calm down, it'll go away"). It wasn't until I found this site, and sites like this (YourBrainOnPorn.com) that I was able to find descriptions and anecdotes that seemed to hit extremely close to home. It is a relief to read what some of you have to say. I now realize that even at my age it is possible, through fundamental wired-in reactions to sexuality, to suffer from ED. Although I feel(/hope) I am now on a path towards recovery, several posts I have read have encouraged sharing and social support as an aid. That said, I thought it would be helpful to share my story thus far, and to ask for affirmations as to whether I might have the right idea.

Like I said, I am 25 years old. I am healthy, I eat extremely well, I don't smoke cigarettes, I am an avid runner. I am physically attractive and I have a pretty good social life, but often experience bouts of insecurity (including regarding the way I look). I have also watched a lot of porn in my lifetime. And I have experienced varying degrees of trouble getting and maintaining erections when in the act with a woman ever since I became sexually active. Looking back over my difficulties, I remember my first experience of not being able to "get it up" (coincidentally the first time I was involved in a sexual encounter/"below the belt" activity) when I was 17. I remember being extremely nervous and insecure, which probably hindered my ability to get an erection (ie: my anxiety was greater than my arousal by the girl). Perhaps in part because of my insecurity, nervousness, and the added curse of remembering this event and worrying that it might happen again, I found myself with difficulties with every girl I became physically involved with. It soon began impossible to ignore -- "what if I can't get it up?" -- and the cycle spiraled me towards failure. These thoughts came in tandem with my insecurity over still being a virgin and the anxiety to "leave the island" ASAP. When I did have sex for the first time, I had a lot of trouble, but was luckily with an experienced girl who was patient and supportive. The experience of having left the island temporarily eased my anxiety (I didn't need to worry so much), but I have had problems of varying levels with nearly every girl I have been with since then. It has gotten so upsetting that I will often avoid meeting women or nurturing physical relationships with them for fear that I won't be able to get or maintain an erection. I couldn't, and still can't talk about this with anyone. All the prescribed remedies online rang flat -- "quit smoking?" I don't smoke. "Get exercise?" I do. "Don't worry so much?" OK, maybe that's onto something, and it's what I assumed was the problem for years, but turning your mind off is easier said than done. Plus, I can't imagine that anxiety would stop a healthy young man in his twenties from getting it up nearly EVERY time. But then the light bulb turned on a few weeks ago, that anxiety might not be the whole package. Maybe I do have an anxiety problem. Maybe I do need to chill out more. But it suddenly dawned on me that this might also have something to do with porn.

Like most men my age and younger, I started masturbating and watching porn well before I ever had sex, around the age of 12 (I first had sex at age 19). Unlike sex, it was readily available, void of embarrassment, and was a great way to sate my need for sexual pleasure. I saw nothing wrong or unhealthy about it, and sex ed sources (the people who are supposed to ease your sexual anxieties/insecurities/worries -- which I had) always prescribed it as a great and healthy was to satisfy your needs. But I think that sexperts haven't yet truly grasped the power of porn. I watched it nearly every day for years, and if I went without it for three days, I would consider it an accomplishment. Most importantly, because I was masturbating to porn for 7 years before ever having sex, I have to assume that my "sex brain" became wired to respond to images, to view sex as a private and voyeuristic experience, and to shun any experience where another individual is present (associating it with, say, your mom catching you in the act of masturbating to internet porn). I can feel it, because in the past, in an effort to get an erection with a girl, I would often try to fantasize about my favorite porn, escape from being in the moment, and try to emulate the experience of being relaxed and seeing it all in front of me. I felt mixed up -- like my mind was a jigsaw puzzle piece trying to cram itself into a space it doesn't fit into. When I searched for online literature about ED and porn, I found a surprising heap, and I was led to this site.

The common cure, it seems based on this site and sites like it, is to abstain from porn and masturbation for up to two months. I have begun my journey; I haven't watched porn in about three weeks and haven't masturbated in nearly two. I go from one extreme to the next (oh, this is easy... oh, how can I possibly do this??) extremely quickly, but so far I seem to have managed and think I can make it.

But my main concern is that it won't work, that porn isn't the main issue. It doesn't make it any easier, given that I know no difference -- I've suffered ED during the whole course of my sex life, and I've watched porn since before my sex life began, I can't compare this to my sexual experiences before ever having watched porn, because they don't exist. I worry that although this may SEEM like the problem, it really isn't the main issue, and although I won't be addicted to porn anymore, I can still expect the same issues. What if I do have a physical malady downstairs? What if the problem really is anxiety? ***Is anxiety a logical diagnosis for a problem that I can expect to plague me in nearly every sexual encounter?*** I just want to be free of ED (within reason, I know troubles happen to everybody once in a blue moon), and I am willing to do whatever it takes to cure myself. I am trying to do Kegel exercises, I am going running regularly, I am eating well, and I am abstaining from porn and masturbation. But I need to know that I am on the right track.

Also, I need a word of support, an assurance that this will likely solve my problems, that I can expect an improvement in sexual performance when it's all said and done. I want my life back, I want sex to become a source of pleasure and happiness, and not a chore to complete and be relieved about after I'm able to complete it successfully. I want sex to be something I can look forward to, not dread or worry about. Will it work? Am I on the right track? Am I right to assume that this amount of trouble comes not from normal sources of performance anxiety, but rather something deeper?

Thank you so much for reading and for your help. Sorry for the length of this post, but I needed to get it all out in hopes of getting my whole experience across.

 


Rebooting for the glory of the Empire - Day 1/90

I'm a 21 year old British guy who recently moved to Berlin when I was offered a position at the office there. Still adjusting, but I feel welcome here and really like the city so far. I've been an eager wanker for the past 8 years or so, and it's time to put an end to an ugly habit. Found YBOP and the pieces fell into place and here I am.

Now to my problems that are becoming increasingly bothersome:

* ED

* Anxiety

* Introvert

* Fear of people

* Depression

* Lack of willpower, drive and motivation

* Anti-social tendencies

* A "why bother/I can't for the love of God see the fun in it/too much trouble/bugger off" attitude that keeps me at home and prevents me from doing...anything except work really.

Let's see what a 90 day reboot will do for me...

I want someplace to journal my thoughts, but I'll update quite infrequently. If someone wishes to post here then that's fine, if not, that's cool too(you're still a bro).


Hi guys, I found this place through a chain of links that started on a tech news website I visit often, but now that I’m here and reading all this, it feels so good to know that what is happening to me is not just happening to me. I’m 18, going to college next year, I’ve been PMO for about 5 years now. It started pretty slowly but in the past year It became a whole lot more frequent. Last year I would have reached maybe P/M/O 1.5, maybe 2 times every day on average. I’ve been trying to sort of make it a treat every now and then and try to distance myself from it as much as I can. But I find whenever I do, i kind of binge for a day or two.

"**********" - My situation is really similar to yours, School work and everyday stuff fills the gap fine but when I come home after school, there just anything to do that can match the enjoyment of P. Same here, my own room/laptop/Internet, there really isn’t anything stopping me. If I could socialize more after school that would help a lot but that doesn’t always happen. It’s just the free time i have to myself. I go to a single sex school, so I don’t really know any girls to socialize with. I live in a small town; there isn't much in a way of nightlife for people my age. I’m still a virgin btw. I don’t really know when/to whom I want to lose it.

"************" - You said that when you were really young, you sort of lied down on your stomach and kind of dry humped the floor? I did that too. And It scared the hell out of me when I read that somebody else did it too! I didn’t know what I was doing or why nobody else seemed to do it, or do it a different way... It’s a problem I’ve always wondered about.

I don’t get morning glory anymore, spontaneous erections are rare. I find imp not being turned on by girls I see, even though I can tell they’re hot. I could hold an erection last time I M, and I get sensation, but O really, really doesn’t feel as good as it once did. I’ve been reading some articles about Dopamine, and the brains reward system being over-indulged, I think that’s what’s happening to me. So there’s a challenge to quit P/M/O for 8 weeks is it? I’m gonna give that a go. Good luck to everyone doing it now!


I'm also addicted to Porn Masturbation and have been at least from the age of 15. I started at 13 and now I find myself at 34, still single and still suffering from ED - which I had all my life. I find my story to be different than anything I read on this amazing post and wish to share it. My abstinence "record" is 10 days without orgasm… over the past 21 years.

To all the guys that wrote here: thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you.

You've just changed my life.

I have been numb and desensitized to real women sexuality all my life. I cannot recall a time where I got a hard-on just by looking at a real woman which I found desirable. I've even felt proud of it sometimes and thought that made be better than others. Stupid pride.

I did make it a point that no women that I get to be intimate with goes without enjoying her time with me. I made sure that I'm good at giving her pleasure, thus my ED was never really an issue to anyone but myself. It always came up, but I had ready excuses. That is… until I read this post. No excuses left now.

I had never had any problems with insecurity or feeling like I'm bad in bed since they always had many more orgasms than me, and enjoyed their time - I'm a good masseur, not just giving head. On the flip side, I rarely reach orgasm with a woman, and so far can only get orgasms if I masturbate myself while she… helps, no matter how attractive I find her to be.

I recently even had thoughts of not seriously going out on dates or finding a partner and just indulge myself on easy masturbation whenever the mood hits me. My problem now is that I've gotten to be too good at it - more than 90% of the time I reach really strong orgasms, especially if I wait a day or two in between. Only now I realize it's nothing to be proud of, and nothing at all to hope for.

A few days ago I went to a prostitute for the first time in my life. I found her really attractive but as expected I didn't orgasm and got flaccid in her mouth after more than 45 minutes of head. She said she has never experienced such a thing before and told me to see a doctor. For my part, I enjoyed kissing and cuddling her more than the other things she did. The kissing, the "Girl Friend experience", is what I'm missing the most. Not feeling alone. For this I'm willing to forgo P/M. I don't know if I'll make it. 21 years might be too long and doing all this alone most definitely isn't going to help.

I do love growing up and changing myself for the better. Done it several times in other areas of my life, and I most definitely see the gains. I'm going to focus on all those things. Ohh, yeah, and I must find myself some outdoor hobbies. See more people and socialize. I hope I don't just get to say it and not do it. Staying home will be too tempting. Too easy to fall of the wagon. I'll enlist my friend to help me. I've just decided that.

Thank you for giving me a place to pour my heart out.

Good luck to all those recovering from ED.


Kickin' the habit

Obligatory background story, sorry about the length but I need to vent a bit:

I am 20 years old, and have been masturbating for the last 8 years. Not entirely sure what sparked it at first, but I am sure that I was not doing it to the extreme until high school rolled around. During high school I began to have access to my own computer, and so my porn use began to increase. I had viewed porn prior to it, but it was something done only rarely as the family computer was, well, the family computer and I was worried about getting walked in on or my parents finding out. When I received my own computer I began viewing more porn, but I was (I now know) blessed by having very, very crap internet so I was not able to get into the whole streaming thing. This meant that I had access to a few downloaded videos and that was it. I began masturbating perhaps daily (not really sure how often, to be honest) by the end of high school and never really had any sexual contact with women, which I wrote down to just plain old anxiety and fear of rejection, something I am sure we can all relate to. Then college started.

College for me meant a whole new world, and as a bit of a shy person that was a bit much. I had a good roommate who was often in the library studying, during which I began my streaming porn habit. I began masturbating as often as 4 times a day if it was a weekend and I had the time. I did not realize it, but I was replacing genuine physical and emotional intimacy with women with pornography. I was single all through my first 2.5 years of college, only making out with a single girl and chalked it all up to being "picky" about women and social anxiety. During this time my masturbation habit was escalating, I would have an hour gap in between classes and I would hurry back to the dorm to masturbate. It became almost a non sexual habit for me, where I would masturbate if I couldn't sleep, if nothing else was going on, etc. It would get particularly bad when I would go for breaks. My college has an early schedule, so few if any of my friends would be home at the same time. This lead to me spending most of my time in my room, masturbating. I would masturbate, watch a movie, see a hot girl in it, open a browser, masturbate, etc. This would happen sometimes as much as 6 times a day, getting to the point at the end of the day where there was not even all that much pleasure involved, just the urge to mechanically perform the action. I would only ejaculate on the first time, something which should have been sending out all sorts of warning signals but I wasn't really looking for them.

My first real sexual experience happened last January, over my winter break. I met this girl at a party, we started hooking up, and then we went back to her apartment. She made it clear that we were not going to have sex (which I was ok with, because I had just met her and because I was more than a little nervous/embarrassed about being a virgin) and we ended up in the bedroom. We ended up without any clothes on and I asked if she would be willing to go down on me, but she said she would not that night. We tried to make the best of this and she started to give me a handjob, but it just wasn't really doing it for me. She would get her fingers wet with her mouth and then stroke a bit, it would feel good for a few seconds and then it would start drying up and just getting uncomfortable. I blamed this (in my head) on her not really being "good" at it, but I realize now that it was because she was not using a "Deathgrip" similar to what I was using to masturbate with. I went down to visit a friend for a couple of days, and went without masturbating because I didn't really feel the urge for the first two days and because we were sleeping in the same room. I noticed at the end of my stay (5 days) that I was getting morning wood, as well as being far more sensitive than I could remember. I scheduled another date with the girl the day I got back, and that morning I masturbated, telling myself that this way I wouldn't be too excited when I went on the date/that night. I masturbated once, it felt phenomenal, and then I did two more times. That night she brought some lube out, and that (and her mouth) helped things along. I did notice that light stroking even with the lubricant wasn't getting the job done, so I showed her how to do what I was used to (gripping the penis like a fist, tight grip) and that felt a lot better.

I got back down to school and felt quite a bit better about myself, but still wasn't really sexually active. I slid right back into masturbating several times a day, as the toxic combination of having your own room and access to high speed internet (I have spent the last semester and a half in an apartment) worked its way into my system. I would turn down invitations to go out socially because I would rather sit around and play video games/masturbate instead. Then, I met another girl, lets call her Sally. Sally knocked me off my feet, we met in a tutoring group, started flirting a bit there and then later on FB/texting. She is drop dead gorgeous so I didn't think that she could possibly be interested in me, but then I asked her out and she said yes so that answered that question. We went out for dinner and then she came back to my apartment. We watched a movie and started making out on my front couch, and that was as far as it went that day. I made another date for 4 days later, which went a bit farther. We started on the couch and then moved back to my bedroom, where the clothes came out and we got each other off. She went down on me and I noticed that it just, well, didn't feel all that good. I mean, I found her very, very attractive, quite a bit more than that other girl and she knew what she was doing but it just didn't seem to feel all that amazing. I came in about 2 minutes, and it felt very good but not as good as it had before. Looking back, I realize that it was probably because I had masturbated somewhere around 12 times that day as well as the two days before it. We scheduled another date, and this time she hinted that we were going to go a bit farther than previously.

She came over, repeat of last time. We made out on the couch, went back to my room and went down on each other. This time I had the same good but not great sensation (I could recall times that I had masturbated and it felt far better. This worried me but not everything had quite fallen into place yet) and then we went out to a party had a drink or two over the course of an hour and headed back to my apartment. We started out with a little foreplay, I went down on her and then she asked if I wanted to have sex. I awkwardly explained that I was virgin and she just smiled and asked where the condoms where. She put it on and I noticed that I just wasn't that hard, I was fully extended and a little stiff but not enough to achieve penetration. The condom came off, she started teasing me a little with her mouth but it wasn't enough to get me fully erect. Another condom went on and we tried anyway, but it just wasn't working and she finished me off with her mouth. Needless to say I was mortified, and spent a good few minutes telling her it was 100% not her fault in any way, we wrote it off as performance anxiety and the fact that she had gotten me off earlier. The next morning she left as she had work and I laid in my bed and wondered why in the hell this had happened. As a test I fired up some porn and tried to masturbate but I wasn't even able to get a full erection like that, which I attribute to the multiple orgasms I had the night before but it still worried me. So I called up a very close family friend with whom I knew I could talk with about these sorts of things. She had been telling me for years to cut the porn out of my life and she started that up again, but now I was reading all the articles that she would send me in a totally different light, and then I found yourbrainonporn.

Jesus is all I could say to myself. The porn induced ED made everything sort of fall into place, particularly why the multiple windows/switching edging triggered such a powerful orgasm for me compared to plain old fantasy and single video, as well as the novelty "perfect picture" rapidly became just another picture after climax. This scared me absolutely shitless, as I really liked this girl on and wanted this relationship to work out. I immediately deleted every single thing that I had on my hard drive, I blocked the sites that I visited the most frequently, and I stopped masturbating. All of this started 7days ago. The first few days were actually pretty easy, and "Sally" was really busy that week so all we could do was have lunch on Wednesday. I started having daydreams about her quite a bit, leading to quite strong erections after day 3 or so and continuing up until now. To be clear, these are not porn fueled bend her over a table and pound type fantasies, but more just remembering kissing her and stuff like that. This is where I feel that I differ a little bit from where many of the other stories that I read on here. I had actually been moving away from "Hardcore" for the last year or so. I just didn't get all that turned on by the rough sex that I saw there, and preferred the X art type slow, soft core sensual stuff. Why I bring this up is because I have been reading that fantasies are generally frowned on, but these are healthy fantasies that virile guys my age should be having. Unfortunately they lead to urges (I am on day 8 now, and oh boy is it getting hard. Pun intended) that I have been able to keep down for now. I might fondle myself a little bit because it feels very, very good but every time I think about continuing I just remember how embarrassed I was that night and the urge dies pretty quickly. I have felt a few urges to watch porn, but I haven't seen a frame this whole time and I don't think that I am going to relapse on that part.


23 and new to sex, the worst thing is I went into a sexual relationship with ED and didnt know it.smh now i'm in a new relationship the same problems accursed come to find out my 10yrs of excessive fapping to internet porn was causing my ED (found this out earlier this morning). So 2day im starting the challenge to drop porn and fapping so my brain can reboot and finally enjoy sex the way its intended. http://www.nofap.in/forums/showthread.php?513-im-Done


From Hell to Paradise - A rough road through Purgatory (22 y.o.)

Well, this is my first journal about my recovery. Thought it was time to put my ego down and share my story about this weakness of mine. So, here you go. Take a good position and maybe open a bottle of fresh ice-cold Budweiser, papa's gonna tell you a tale.

Back in golden 90's, little did I know about porn or sex. I was an almost innocent 13-year old boy when I got my first glimpse on pornography with some friends from school. I remember getting so excited from just watching still pics that I remember almost cumming. We've had sex education by that time so I knew what sex was basically like, but boy did those images make my imagination go wild. It was maybe a year or two later when I discovered the big M and started getting those big O's as well. Back then we only had a modem, so streaming video was out of question and no sites like youporn.com or such existed, or at least I didn't knew about them. Sex drive was high at those times. Even plain girls looked attractive and the really gorgeous ones were just  :o

I started masturbating regurlarly to porn at the age of 16 or so. As the oldest son in our family I got to be alone more, and combined with faster internet speeds and wider knowledge about quality porn sites, things started to downhill slowly but steadily. At the age of 18 my sexual power was diminished to a fraction of what it should have been. Sex didn't interest me that much and while I was ashamed of still being a virgin, I didn't care care too much about it because I always had porn to get me off when I wanted. Who the hell needs girls when your own hand grants you pleasure and orgasms whenever you want?

Despite my weakening sexual power, I managed to get my first real girlfriend during those times. I was almost a complete newbie when it came to girls, but we had quite a nice time together. But to be honest, she wasn't really my type and when we tried to have sex at last, ED reared its ugly head for the first time. She was a bit older and definetely more experienced than I was and now I totally understand how this sexless relationship didn't satisfy her needs at all. Summer got over, and so did this hook-up.

Time passed and and once in a while, I managed to get laid, but my dick was never up to task. It would go down when trying to put on condom and that was just embarassing. After several fails I developed some serious performance anxiety and that certainly didn't help either. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra started to seem quite alluring in helping me, but I never got the nerve to go to a doctor and start telling about my weak erections.

I had long suspected porn to be the cause for my problems but only when I found yourbrainonporn.com all the pieces fell together. It was now so obvious now that too much PMO was the cause for my desentization and numbness. So, January the 1st 2012 was the day I decided to finally cure myself.

I managed to go 3 full weeks without porn, masturbation, orgasms or even fantasies. Then, relapse. After that more relapses and binging. I thought: "I don't even have a girlfriend. Why strip myself of only sexual satisfaction I have?". Now I totally regret giving up. If I had stayed strong, at this day I would be almost cured and wouldn't be having problems in bed with my new girl. That new girl, oh my gawd! Stunning blonde with perfect boobs, hair and eyes. And she has a snake as a pet, how cool is that!? What a reason, what a motivator to get through rebooting!

This day marks day 10. Already feeling some slight improvements, like getting more aroused from seeing hot girls on campus and in internet. My thoughts keep circling around this new girl so no I haven't had yet an urge to even peek at P.


R-Evolve - (Day 43)

Short Summary: I'm 22 years old. Started M-ing when i was about 10 years old. At age 14 i started M-ing to P on average once a day. I had a girlfriend for two years from age 19 to 21. Used P alot more after we broke up and had Porn induced ED by the time I tried to have sex with the next girl i met. Currently rebooting and it's going very well!

The Story

At age 19 I had my first girlfriend. Once we got round to having sex, I wasn't able to get hard because I was nervous as it was my first time and I'm naturally shy. I got past the anxiety stage after about a month and we continued to have sex 3-4 times a week for the first year of our relationship. Throughout our relationship I carried on with my P habits, but only about 3 times a week. (I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time and neither did she).

During the second year of being with her, I started university. This meant that I only got to see her once a month on average, therefore I was watching P quite a bit more now that I wasn't getting as much sex. The times that we did have sex, I usually needed some stimulation during foreplay to get things started. I eventually broke up with her because my heart was never fully in the relationship. Throughout our relationship i would hardly ever compliment her and i never opened up about my feelings or anything like that. I'm sure PMO was why i was so distant, like I was never 'living in the moment'.

After this I carried on watching P every night again. The P esculated here as I would have about 15 Firefox tabs open, with multiple genres, searching for the perfect scene. This carried on for about 6 months.

Then I met a girl at work who I really liked. I managed to build up the courage to ask for her number as I had heard that she thought I was hot too. After a few weeks of getting to know each other, we tried to have sex but I could not get it up. This happened about 4-5 times and I did not know why, I wasn't nervous at all. Even when she stimulated me I could only get it up for a very short period of time, and I would have to fantasize too. She was patient but we eventually stopped seeing each other and never had sex. At the time, i had never heard of YBOP, I told her it had nothing to do with her but the problem might be because I watch too much porn. The reason I thought this was because I knew I was able to get hard watching P and stimulating myself, but real sex was completely different. However, I carried on watching porn (slightly less) for about two more months until March 2012.

I then found YBOP and realised I had Porn induced ED. I could get hard watching porn, but with sensation alone there was nothing. Even M-ing using fantasy wouldn't get me solid. It was clear that I needed to stop watching porn completely - so I decided to attempt a reboot straight away.

My Progress

Right now I'm on Day 43 of No PMO :) - (May 1st 2012)

Before Rebooting:                                                      Whilst Rebooting:

- No morning erections                                                - Regular morning wood/steel

- Sometimes got brain fog                                           - Can pitch a tent without stimulation

- Hardly ever made eye contact                                  - Feel more much connected when having conversations

- Generally quite antisocial                                          - Confident when talking to girls, flirting alot more and making eye contact

                                                                                    - Excited about life

I was always quite good at getting girls numbers on nights out, but meeting up with them sober was a disaster. I would be so boring and distant and could never fully relax. I would also not have the urge to get things moving to the next level, so nothing would really happen.

Recently I've met up with a few girls and It's been a great experience. There's so much more flirting and interesting conversation, I am a much happier person, and feel relaxed. It's like my mind is becoming clearer everyday.


Glad to have found this community. I am 40 years old, was married for 10+ years and over time, my wife and I stopped being intimate and sexual. As a result, I grew very dependent on porn and masturbation. I found that I could get hard no problem while tugging the friar, but not at all when trying to have very occasional sex with my wife. I put it down to my wife just not being very responsive in bed, i.e. her expecting me to do all the work and just kind of lying there. I still think that had a lot to do with my lack of hardness with her. Anyhow, that went down the tubes and we split.

I met a new, wonderful woman who I could be intimate with, who likes physical affection, and who really gets into sex as well. I figured when we did finally get to sex (it took a while to get to that point), it would be great and I'd be able to get hard and sustain it again, having someone who turns me on in the sack. No dice. I was always able to get only about 3/4 hard and if I didn't really concentrate on the sensation (but not concentrate too hard - I'm sure many of you know what I mean), I wouldn't be able to keep it up long enough to come. We muddled through it for a couple of years before she asked me what the problem was a few weeks back. I was finding it even more difficult than before to stay hard and finish.

Yes, I was still masturbating to porn all that time, increasingly more in the last few months. I barely ever missed a day. The wank sessions were pretty fantastic, with me being very hard and having large orgasms after going for 30 min or more. However, I had a death grip around my **** when masturbating, so the comparative sensation of a vagina was nowhere as stimulating by comparison. When she asked what was wrong, I admitted that I was still tugging it, and Googled to find if there was a link, which took me here.

After reading the first few pages, I decided to quit P&M cold turkey. I'd tried a few times before, but what helped me this time was the fact that I really wanted to be able to satisfy my (very hot) GF. After 5 days of no P or M, we had sex, and even in that short time, I was able to stay mostly hard in her for the whole session. I kept away from my hand, and we've since had sex 4 or 5 times, with me being able to enjoy the sensation of being in her and me getting harder and harder. The distracting (and sometimes disturbing) porn thoughts are out of my head, and I'm able to focus on her as being the thing that turns me on, not any artificial stimulation. It's been a couple of weeks now, and I don't feel any urge to go back to porn. A side benefit is that I'm able to focus better on other things in my life as well.

So thanks, everyone. I'm so glad I found this forum. If anyone tells you the two are not related, you can see from the messages here, that's a lie.      


From Loser-human to Werewolf (5 months report)

Relapses: 27th March 2012 - PMO twice

Overall Mood: Good

Erection Health: 75 %

Social Anxiety: 20 %

Approach Anxiety: 60 % (with pro-active effort)

Libido: Good and in control

Sexual opportunities I declined due to weak erection since the age of 13 which I started PMO:ing (Mostly P):

Five girls, felt like shit declining, but I was afraid of the scenario that the girls would leave with dissatisfaction, so I kind of saved my self.

Sexual opportunities I didn't bother creating by approaching women aggressively/sexually:

Hundreds. (Porn really messes with your drive, huh?)

Sexual opportunities I accepted:

Six girls, I had to go hardcore in order to even be able to penetrate (strangling and slapping them, I was the first who did that stuff to all of them, they all seemed to love it and I was never ashamed of it, though it was scary that I had to do it everytime)

First ever ED encounter:

First girl in my life (that I even kissed), I was 17 or 18 years old. Cuddled a handful of women after her, without getting an erection.

Relationships crashed due to my paranoia/obsession about my problem:

Two out of two (One year relationship and a two month relationship), truth is, I entered relationships because I cannot get it up at the first night with a woman, it doesn't get alot better after a few weeks with in knowing the girl but it's better than nothing.

Rebooting project:

Okay, last time I M'ed was in the beginning of December 2011. Had mediocre (semi-erect sex) and good sex (viagra use, don't want to be reliant on it, feels like they veins in your head are going to explode) a couple of times, last time was in the beginning of January 2012, but I didn't came or orgasm.

I'm not sure if sexing with women messes with your recovery. I have become less shy around women (I'm not sure if this is due to quitting PMO or pro-actively practicing "Game" in order to defeat my approach anxiety) and one day for less than an hour I was struck with so extreme high libido that my low confidence around women basically vanished, then I became "normal" again.

My animal self (true self) wants to do one night stands. I stay away from (long term)-relationships now, I get so pussified by them. If I never reboot fully, I guess I have to find the joy of being long term relationships. (Fear of loss is my greatest enemy)

I've read other peoples' stories of their four to eight-week reboots, seriously, that's nothing. (I had to, haha)

I've never experienced a full erection for more than a few minutes (not counting viagra in), maybe a total of 60 minutes max since the age of 13. If the reboot succeeds, I cannot explain in words what I will do with this superpower...  :)

When I post this, I am on day 90. A bit higher libido, but still no sign of "life". I'll crash (ED in sex) & Burn (Getting dumped) with occasional flings (female initiative), I'm battle hardened.


I just read all of the posts on this thread and its really heart breaking how many of us guys, even as young as 15, have this problem, and how it messes up our lives and those of the ones we love.

So since everyone else is being really open and honest, here is my story. Hopefully there is a bit of wisdom in there that some of you younger guys can, perhaps, learn from.

I'm currently 26, my love life has been a bit non existent until recently. I kind of hid myself away at uni. I've never had a one night stand, partly because it seems kind of immoral to me but also probably also because I've been a bit of wimp and should 'man up' a bit. I met a girl this summer, we spent a night together in a darkly lit room kissing and cuddling and feeling one another up a bit, it was magical. At this point I was a virgin, not that she knew that. The sh1t thing is she lives about 3000 miles from me and after that night we had to split up. We chat on Skype all the time, and over the next month or so I eventually fessed up that I still had my 'V-plates' and I went to see her for a week this summer and subsequently lost them. I had the best week of my life and then we had to split up again.. back to Skype.

So that's the context. Our first time was a bit of a struggle.. condoms weren't working for us, so I went skydiving without a parachute so to speak, a brave (or suicidal) move for a first timer. My erections aren't what the once were, and getting and maintaining wood was a problem. Over the course of the week, things got a bit better I could manage about 70% wood and i even managed to finish on a few occasions (outside obviously). Its not good when a girl thinks your D doesn't work.. and it can seriously trash your chances of forming a relationship with them. We had a few seriously awkward conversations about it. A few days in I told her that I thought it was porn related, which really disgusted her. Not that many girls watch porn, at least not in the same way guys do. The really awful thing was that she thought that the reason my D wasnt hard was that I wasn't attracted to her. She felt bad in herself because of me. Its a horrible feeling.

I want my D working properly. I want a rock solid erection that I can use to take her places shes never been before. Shes had a few boyfriends before, but never had an O. Being a scientist of course I looked this up, and its probably because she prefers Missionary position, which makes putting pressure on the front wall of her V really difficult and thus stimulating her G-spot impossible. The poor girl thinks she can't have one. I want to change her mind, but to do that I need the 'bone' back in my boner.

In my case I've been looking at porn since I was about 13 I think, which as I'm 26 is a depressingly large HALF OF MY LIFE. I wish I had never been introduced to it, or we never had the Internet. Back then it was just pictures of course, dial-up and all that. Things escalated when broadband came along. Porn steals your innocence. I should never have seen those things back then, especially at that young and impressionable age. You need to find these things out for yourself naturally, not looking a pics/video online. I honestly think if I had never seen it, I would have lost my virginity years ago and be in a much better situation now. The type of porn you look at over time definitely gets more hardcore. My poison is these amateur couple videos, especially when they are my sort of age.. which is really sad when you think about it, all that time spent bashing the bishop to those when I could have been with a girl of my own. Also, watching porn when you're a kid makes you insecure, thinking your not the same size/shape as others.. well of course your not.. your only about 4 ft tall! Unfortunately the insecurities never go though and you end up missing out on so many opportunities and magical moments that are part of growing up.

So I stopped looking at porn completely at the end of October sometime, and over the same period have been trying to cut right back / stop masturbating. Ive failed a few times but currently its been 10 days. No sign of morning wood, not regularly, and certainly nothing to write home about. Not had a wet dream in longer than I can remember, even just an erotic dream. I want all these things back, well maybe not the wet dreams. I feel like my addiction to porn growing up stole my innocence. I've had days where it is really sensitive, and others where it practically doesn't exist. Porn is completely off the menu for me forever now, I've wasted too much of my life, pleasuring myself. Over the last year or so when I watched porn and masturbated I wasn't't even at 100%, I guess i'd need to elevate the extreme nature of what I was watching to make my body interested again.. and in the process only make things worse. No, that's it forever now.

So no signs of major improvements yet for me, but I'm hopeful. I'm going to the gym, I bought a pull up bar, I'm doing kegels.. the PC muscle is a seriously important muscle to exercise by the way, for guys and girls.

Fingers crossed I'll see some improvements, and good luck to everyone else trying to kick the habit and reclaim their manhood.


Yesterday was Day 100 And I can't explain how good I felt.

NoFap has changed my life and I refuse to go back to fapping to porn or fapping in general, I am kind of scared to touch my willie in a faptacular way. I started a Ketogenic diet recently, and on Day 100 my friend asked me to find him a good torrent of P90X. We agreed to start doing that every day together and tell each other our progress. I really want to get those abs going so when I lose all this weight they will be there. Porn Addiction almost ruined my life, so glad I found out about it. I lost the Social Anxiety it caused. That was my biggest Issue.

I also had ED, I never noticed because I was a social recluse, until a couple weeks into NoFap I got morning wood. That was kind of a mind fuck. It hit me like a bunch of bricks I was like Holy shit! When was the last time I had this? I feel like I finally have control over my life. Even though I am not out getting tons of girls and all that, I know I am on my way to getting whatever I desire. Before I start doing that just need to fix a couple things, weight and getting in shape. When that is done, I am coming out strong; no girl will be ready ;)


My story short: I've had ED since I first tried to have sex at 22. Was very erect and lost it the instant I penetrated. Was very traumatic, made me question all kinds of things/torture myself up until now. I'm 27, in the past 5 years Ive had 5 or 6 partners, with about a 40% success rate on penetration/orgasm. However- I have yet to "Feel anything" during sex, and even the times I can get a woman off/know I am erect I always question "how erect" I am and hardly feel sensation.

After so many failed attempts, I went 4 years without any sexual contact of any kind. Recently, I met a girl and we hit it off. We slept together twice, and both times I was able to maintain enough to penetrate/orgasm (though again- I felt nothing during it, mentally or physically). On a third attempt I lost my erection after a minute or so and... all my old fears/anxieties resurfaced immediately. Out of desperation and to "prove" that i could have sex, I attempted with a different partner and had zero results. Since then, I have been in a downward spiral of depression and anxiety.

A doctors visit came up clean (save an extremely low vitamin d level - that of a 70 year old man), and I can/do achieve erection/orgasm through masturbation- But... in the past few years, i would say I get 65% erections at best- No "angling up" if that makes sense. So as far as penetration goes, I have NEVER been able to maintain while a girl is on top. INSTANT loss of erection.

Now if I wasn't getting aroused "at all" during these situations (or able to penetrate/perform at a level in which at least the woman can't tell anything is "wrong", I would think my problem is solely physical. Yes, I don't get morning wood or spontaneous erections anymore but I have chalked that up to my porn addiction.

After reading these forums, I KNOW I am a classic p/m/o addict. 3-4 times day, always in the same position, always in the same place in my house- rarely if ever horny when I do it. Masturbation is robotic at best. And even then I rarely maintain an erection better then say 70%.

Following the advice of this and many other forums, I decided to go 90 days with no P/M/O and also started the 5G's (I also attend a sex therapist once a week). The first week was amazing for my confidence/well being= I got 3 or 4 spontaneous erections and even morning wood (not 100% but something was better than nothing". Last night, after 10 days clean I decided it was time to "test the waters" and I visited a girl who is aware of my entire situation, so "performing/erection" was not an issue. We made out for a long time and I honestly enjoyed it more than I have anything in years. I wasn't focusing on my penis, or my erection, or trying to get one- Rather, just the sensations. It was awesome. And a turn on... mentally. However- I got ZERO erection during this, which is far less then my usual 40%-70%. This worried me.

I have heard of the dead dick phase, so I figured it was that. However... It began to torture me.

Side-note- The girl I broke my 4 year spell with lives with me now. We are best friends, but very platonic. (Other than the 2 successful and one failed attempts, and a few oral sessions). Other side note: She is an ex porn star and very sexually active. This used to torture/depress me, as I was looking for a relationship with her. However now I am in a good place with that. We are just friends. HOWEVER... Knowing she is so sexual. Knowing her past. Hearing her talk all day about sex. It makes me really depressed. So today, after last nights "zero erection", I jokingly grabbed my roommates boobs. INSTANT arousal. She went out for a bit and .... I masturbated. Now not to porn, which is a first for me- but still... It wasn't great. I forced it. I wasn't really in the mood, and now I feel fucking sick with myself. Why do I not get horny. How is it possible I can be so attracted to someone and then feel NOTHING once actual being intimate with them. I want to have a normal life. Meet someone special. Have kids. The works. I really fear my ability to ever do that. 3 months ago, when I slept with my roommate/porn star, I thought all my problems were fixed, save my inability to enjoy sex. At least I could perform. But only in certain positions. And with certain criteria. and blah blah blah. I just want things to be... normal.

Whereas a day ago the 90 days with no porn/masturbation/orgasm seemed like the smartest idea in the world, I now am beginning to fear that Ill go 90 days and have the same problems I always had, or worse. I am pretty much at the end of my ropes, here. I have gone to doctors. It's not physical. Cialis rarely works. I'm now beginning to even doubt my ability to masturbate. I don't know why i haven't gotten a full "Erection" in a long time- not even morning wood. I just cant help feeling broken and un-fixable, and sadly... that's a future I don't think I could deal with. Ive never contemplated suicide in the past, but a life without love is one I cant find livable. That may sound drastic, but again... I'm pretty hopeless right now.

So please... if anyone has gone through anything similar. Had ANY success or tales that could inspire a little hope. Helpful tips. ANYTHING. Because if after 90 days I still have the same problems, I really don't know what my next move will be, but I can only assume it will have to be a drastic one.


LINK

So, I'm 25, started masturbating at 13, didn't start using porn habitually till probably 18, and even then intermittently because I was often dating someone and well, just didn't need it. So, it'd always been kind of an in between real life things, thing, as I hadn't really been the type that ever had trouble with women or to go very long without getting laid. Last March I moved, leaving me maintaining a long distance relationship, and the way I coped with it, and avoided cheating, would be these porn marathons to deliberately keep me too drained to let my, at the time legendary, libido lead me astray. During this period of time I developed a lot of the patterns and habits discussed on YBOP, the obsessive, ten windows at a time, edging for a couple of hours absurdity.

In June, that relationship ended, and within a couple of weeks I had found a new girl locally who I have been dating since. The only problem is that when we went to bed together, I found that while I once could do 3 sessions in a night, I couldn't even get it up once. Like so many people, I didn't realize Porn induced ED existed, and didn't make the connection, so while I was have awful struggled sex with my gf, I kept up my porn habit, sometimes even hoping she WOULDN'T come over so I could masturbate to porn instead of working to keep an erection having sex. Obviously still getting hard to porn, I assumed my ED with my girlfriend was anxiety related, which eventually turned into maybe I'm just not into her, ect ect. It was only after taking a break to try other people that I realized it was not the girl.

It wasn't until about the end of February that I found YBOP and quit porn the same day. I continued to have sex and orgasm regularly thinking that the "Real thing" couldn't be bad. I did have one quick relapse on the 20th of April which was with one movie and lasted all of 30 seconds cause I insta-bonered and came my pants off, at which point I decided I was making the right decision to quit, this was when I set up the porn blocker on my laptop. I had been finding my dick generally to be harder though still not nearly 100% and except in the morning and even then it would go down as soon as I was "awake". Eventually I decided to cut out the orgasms as of last Friday feeling they were holding me back as well as quitting weed which I smoked daily. Within the next day I went into what felt like a flat line, seriously nothing, my dick even looked smaller than usual, I had read about it so I wasn't too concerned. That lasted up until this morning when I woke up with a raging boner that lasted five minutes and then disappeared , thinking this was a sign I decided to try out some light masturbation only to find the flatline gone but my dick behaving in it's usual sluggish not quite there sort of way.

I'm just so confused, because I just don't feel addicted to porn. I've had 0 cravings, 0 desire to use porn, even my one relapse was due more to just wanting to get hard for a change, and resulted in NO chaser. There is no craving there, but still my dick won't get hard for anything but temporary morning wood. It's just confusing cause that's the one place I seem to feel a lack of connection with other PMO addicts, I watched a lot of porn to get off, and now my dick only seems to really want to respond to porn, but when I fantasize, it's always been to real girls that I know, when I get horny, it's always for real girls that I know. Porn has always and is still so mechanical to me, it's not something I feel invested in at all. My dick just doesn't seem to want to really work when I go to have sex with the real life girls that I actually want. All the advice I read seems to be about "quitting porn", I've quit porn, I don't need it, I don't want it, all I want is real sex with my girlfriend, why isn't my dick responding to that desire?


Decided i'd give this a go after performance issues with my partner...

I wanna get this off my chest and I figure this is the best place to do it.

I'm in a relationship where it's not long distance but because we both have full time jobs and other obligations we don't get much time together let alone enough to get intimate. As a result I found myself fapping almost three times a day due to sexual frustration and stress, and I believe it had a HUGE negative impact on our sex life.

It would vary from not being able to get it up to being able to get it up and not being able to orgasm which would then quickly lead me back to going soft and ruining the moment. Everytime this happens it really kills me to see my girlfriend so let down and hurt, she insists thats not the case but I know just by looking. That look on her face really breaks my heart and I don't want to see it anymore.

I think I may have developed a porn addiction and it has ruined our sex life, so I think starting a nofap run will greatly benefit me. I'm going to delete my shameful porn folder and do this properly.

I just really wanted to share this as it's been haunting me for a while and I cant really talk to anyone about it. I'd like to ask if anyone else here had performance issues before giving up masturbation and if it helped in any way?


LINK - I'm 20 and my story is similar. When I was 17 I had a girlfriend and we tried it loads of times and I could still never get hard. I knew it wasn't a one off thing. When I broke up with her I was so lost, 18 years old and a virgin and I knew I could do nothing about it. I've had so many chances as well. I counted that I could have fucked about 8 girls by now considering all the girls who have thrown themselves at me, and that's mostly been without looking for anything, so it's fucking frustrating.

I've been porn free for about 6 months now, so as long as I can get some fap free streaks under my belt I think I'm good to go, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be terrified. You might agree that, because I was never able to have normal sex, my only memory of sex is trying and failing, so even if I've completely recovered I'm gonna be quite scared ha.


Having ED troubles. Should I begin my nofap journey?

I'm a pretty healthy 20 year old, who for the past few years was ruled by porn (progressed from regular porn to animated porn, fetish porn, you name it). I noticed recently that I've been unable to get erect, whether it's for masturbation purposes or for fooling around. My ED may be due to my early masturbation techniques (squeezing my penis and not letting it get fully erect) This problem has gotten worse now that I have a gf, as she thinks her appearance is the problem, and it's not. Will a period of abstinence from porn and masturbation help my problem?


I thought I was the only one

I started fapping at age 12. I'm 24 now. Even as a child before fapping, I was always drawn to touching and watching the female form. When I started doing it, it seemed amazing - I could admire without taking the risk of actually approaching a girl and talking to her. It started with browsing scantily clad girls on websites like maxim and victoriassecret (soft stuff). It became dropping money on webcam sites and downloading a massive stash with folders and folders of hardcore HD porn. I loved my stash...

For years, I thought I was the only one with this problem. There were always reasons to justify doing it and an infinite amount of stimulus available on the internet. In college, my roommates and I would walk around campus rating women from a 1-10 scale and judging their appearances whilst not having the courage to speak to them.

I finally got a girlfriend at age 18 during the freshman year of college. She chose me because I did the right thing at the right time. I had no game whatsoever - I was a thin geeky teen who just happened to be cool enough and funny enough for her at the time. I lost my virginity a year later to her after months of begging. The sex was terrible. I thought it was her fault - I rationalized in my mind that she wasn't sexy enough (even though she was! I loved her BJs and doing it with her, etc). I couldn't stay hard or orgasm even after hours of sex and mulitple positions and that's when I realized my problem - I fapped almost everyday unless I was with her. We broke up during senior year of college due to a slew of reasons, sex included. It was back to intense five-sessions-a-day fapathons, because that's what I did before having a girlfriend.

Flash-forward to two years later - I work out, cultivate my musical/artistic side, work on my appearance and have moved to the other side of the US to discover my own way of life. I hit the clubs and get phone numbers and pursue dates. The only thing that hasn't changed is the fapping. I keep it to once a day, but sometimes it can become multiple times a day. I've tried multiple times to stop because I realized that this is a detrimental addiction. I've been hanging out with some girls and slept with a few (while having the same ED problems that seem to plague most of NoFap). These girls would ask me, "Am I not sexy enough?" to which the answer was obviously, "of course you are".


If you are young (say under 50) and have ED problems, the problem is with almost 100% likelihood in your brain, unless you have diabetes or some other severe illness, from what I've understood. The dopamine theory seems very credible and simple explanation to most porn/masturbation-induced issues. Traditional ED medicine have nothing to do with dopamine, they will only cover up the problem, and you will keep abusing PMO until you end up like me, ie. even the drugs don't work. I have all the symptoms which supposedly result from lack of dopamine receptors in your brain.. I have very, very extreme problems getting anything done in time, especially things which require constant mental effort. Also most likely my pleasure response is very blunt, I don't get pleasure from anything.. eating is something I do to stay alive, don't really enjoy it or hate it, I just don't care. Same with everything.. nothing brings me pleasure or pain, my inner life is just dull, gone. No wonder then that I can't get or maintain erections either, my brain doesn't care.

Just keep that in mind when using the pills.. you're treating the symptom, not the cause. LINK TO THREAD


Doctors are idiots.. I've seen so many this past year trying to cure my sleep problem and libido.. They don't have a clue. If you have a gunshot wound that might figure out what to do.. but aside from anything life threatening and just general wellness.. they are a joke. Sorry for the rant. I'm coming off another bad experience with another one trying to force fix myself.. maybe I'll post


ED seemingly cured

I just wanted to say that previous to this, I wasn't able to orgasm during sex (which would cause me to go soft) or I wouldn't be able to get fully aroused in the first place. Well I can say that last night I overcame (no pun intended) that obstacle. After 90+ days of nofap my body was more than eager to go with my new ladyfriend.

nofap seems to have helped me. Thanks guys. If anyone is interested I wrote about my 90 days here.


LINK - I'm glad you see what porn can do to you. I started to experience porn induced ED as well, not to the same effect as you I imagine, but it was harder to stay hard and because of that I slowly stopped watching as much porn and started jacking off without it. It helped but when I found this subreddit, I knew that it would beneficial to stop going at it at all. My penis doesn't have many problems getting hard now, let's keep it that way haha


LINK -I'm in the same position as you man, I'm a 19 year old sophmore. When I was in high school the experiences with girls I had were all fine, I'd never dream I'd get ED and then, after a few months of fapping constantly to extreme porn on the internet, I'd found I was completely desensitized. I suffered multiple instances of ED in my senior summer/freshmen year - pretty awful timing I might add - which led me to see a shrink. She was extremely helpful but in the end it just clicked; this wasn't the result of some deep seated mental problem, there was a direct correlation between the start of my obsession with certain forms of internet porn and my ED.


Death Grip, DE,Porn induced ED. Advice?

by noseehearspeak4 days

Hey fellow porn addicts, First of all I'm gay and I will be talking about the relationship with my boyfriend, so if you're offended by that stop reading.

So I am 22 and I've been masturbating pretty much daily to porn since I was a teenager. I didn't know I was wiring my brain to unrealistic stimulation, I just enjoyed myself.

Whenever I got the chance to have real sexual contact with men, I suffered from DE. Obviously not the usual kind, because there is no vaginal sex between to men, but I would take a long time and I would have to take care of it myself. I didn't know about death grip or DE, I just thought I was simply a little difficult.

So recently I got a boyfriend whom I like very much and who is very much my type. Sex was amazing for the first few times, I even managed to cum really quickly, mainly because he was so visually stimulating.

But as time went on, I first got bad cases of DE and now ED. First I could only come after "extreme" visual stimulation, like seeing him cum and playing with his cum. That's one of the things I enjoy in porn most too. Then I had problems even keeping an erection. All that even though I know he is very attractive to me, the novelty just wore off. I can't just look at another video on a tube site to see someone new.

It kind of worried me, so I googled a little and stumbled upon http://yourbrainonporn.com which pretty much explained what I was going through. I conditioned myself to only have erections/ejaculations when I was alone, watching always new videos, on many tabs etc. during my teenage years. To redo this, I need to completely stop watching porn. So I've completely stopped watching porn and masturbating for about 5 days now. Of course nothing has changed so far, the condition only got worse. According to this website I might need 3 months to a year to fully recover from my porn addiction.

This really worries me though. Not being able to have sex for half a year would kill this relationship. Another thing is that it's always suggested to do noFap during the reboot, the only problem is gay sex often consists mainly of masturbation. There isn't anal sex all the time (which I couldn't do actively with my current problems anyway). So can I even still masturbate if I'm with my boyfriend?

I realise that there are probably only straight men on here, but I don't know which way to turn. I really love my boyfriend, and I wish I had met him six months later, after half a year without masturbation, after rebooting my sexuality and curing death grip. I feel like this will ultimately destroy this relationship. Still, I guess I need to do this for future relationships I might have.

I would really be thankful for any advice.


I used to crave porn, now I crave girls.

Really funny how the reboot changes your behavior toward females.

During this week, I've got really bad cravings for girls. I crave to be with one right now. And since I don't have it yet, my head is blowing up ! Raise of testosterone? You tell me but I really crave them for real. I've got many nocturnal woods (testosterone related. Morning wood is dopamine related) that rock really hard like my penis was about to explode. I've got them daily, even when I take a nap. I've got an erection easily when I chat normally (no sexting but you know, like when you want to date her etc, romantic discussion etc) with girls in facebook without any touch. That's crazy because I'm at my 6th day when in my latest reboot, I was at my 8th week with only a few morning woods.

Today, my voice got deeper and I LOVE it without talking about the raise of the confidence and others which are now usual for all of us, rebooters.

What I have introduced in this reboot that is new is my interaction with girls. It's like rewiring. Should be in the success story Really lol.

Edit: What I have learned is introducing girls into the reboot speeds it up !


Does anyone else feel like they've just found one of life's great mysteries by discovering Nofap?

So two weeks now. Going strong. No real urges to Fap or watch Porn. Probably because my dick feels like it's gone into hibernation. Barely any feeling down there in almost a week. But whatever, thats what i was expecting.

Been jacking it 1-2 times a day for the last 8 years. ED all over the place with no hope in sight until i found this place, all the info and success stories. Now it feels like I'm onto something that no one else has discovered!

All of my mates PMO just as much as i do, if not more and it makes me wonder if they suffer from the same problems as us behind closed doors. I have told them about me no longer PMOing or MOing and they laughed it off. They think, just like society does, that its completely healthy and normal to watch porn. So I just let them laugh, knowing that these last 2 weeks have been more productive than the last 2 months of my life. I've had more energy, confidence, self control (in many aspects), anxiety is diminishing by the day, cold showers are my new coffee, I'm no longer drinking or clubbing, procrastination is non existent. I no longer nap during the day (something i used to always do after fapping) and my outlook on life has completely changed. Im so much more positive now.

This is all in 2 weeks! Imagine a year, or 5 years! Hopefully the ED will be good by then. We're onto something here. People have been PMOing for so long that they have forgotten how life is supposed to be!