From the team: 10 of our best pieces of advice

Printer-friendly version

A comprehensive reboot is the gold standard for leaving porn in the past and regulating out-of-control sexual behaviors. Now that you're signed up, how have things been going for you? Seriously, let us know, we really like getting replies to our emails.

This week we'll be sharing some pieces of advice for rebooting your sexuality to quit PMO.

Know exactly why you want to leave PMO in the past.

How did you discover NoFap? Were you searching for answers to a particular problem?

What intrigued you about NoFap? Why did you sign up, did you hope to create some sort of change in your life?

What kind of life do you want to live? How do you envision yourself a year from now? What would your life look like, if you were able to sustainably leave PMO (our acronym for pornography, masturbation, orgasm) in the past?

How do you feel after you have partaken in a PMO session? Good? Bad? How do you feel about it the next day, the next week? Do you feel like PMO is contributing to your happiness or feelings of fulfillment?

How do you think PMO impacts your life in the long term?

How has PMO impacted your life in the past?

Is PMO impacting your interpersonal relationships with your friends, people you meet, family members, coworkers, potential partners, your significant other, or your spouse?

Is PMO impacting your life in other ways, such as at your career?

That was a short list of good questions to help you remember the beginning of your journey and why your goals were, and still are, so important to you.

If you don't know where to begin, try reading other people's testimonials to learn why they decided to join the website. You might find some reasons that resonate with you.

What you are trying to find is a really, really good reason that will carry you through the tough times, something that you can tap motivation from when you need it the most.

Modify your environment.

The goal here is to create an environment that complements the rebooting process.

Delete the porn stash. All of it. Every last file. Also, if you own any physical porn, toss it in the trash or even burn it.

Clean up your living space.

Change up your furniture arrangement, sometimes environmental cues can lead to urges to watch porn, and disrupting the arrangement can help to reduce them.

Install a web filter to prevent mindless slip-ups and accidental exposure. (note: a web filter shouldn't be the only thing preventing you from relapsing - it is up to YOU to make the decision that's best for you)

Install an ad blocker to prevent salacious advertising.

Install NoFap's Panic Button web extension. Click the button when you are feeling urges for an instant dose of motivation.

Change your routine. If you usually relapse in the morning, that's a great time to begin a fulfilling morning routine instead. If you usually relapse in bed, don't bring electronic devices into the bedroom.

Schedule out your days if needed to not allow time / energy / the environment for PMO.

Some may even consider more intensive changes like browsing the internet with the images in your browser disabled or exchanging your smartphone for a "dumb" flip phone.

Take care of yourself.

Mental and physical well being are intertwined. Take care of your body to ensure that you are in the best possible mental condition to undergo a reboot.

Try to adopt a healthy sleep schedule. That means going to bed at a consistent time, if possible, and getting enough sleep.

Start up an exercise routine. No need to try to hit the gym 7 days a week in the beginning - you can start small and just try to get a 30 minute walk in on a regular basis.

Start eating a bit more healthily. Again, start small. Maybe a vegetable per day, and use that as a starting point to clean up your diet.

Engage in activities that can help you manage your stress, such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, talking with friends, or taking walks in nature.

Don't revolve your life around quitting PMO.

Go outside and do things. Think of the common "pink elephant" allegory. If you tell somebody to not think about a pink elephant, they'll definitely think about a pink elephant. It's the same thing with porn. You can't think about not PMOing all of the time.

Constantly thinking about abstaining from PMO will trigger mental associations in your brain that will remind you of porn, and make it more likely for porn imagery to arise. And when porn imagery arises in your brain, so will urges. Thinking about porn all of the time will entrench porn's influence in your life.

You have to get yourself away from only thinking about abstaining from PMO. Now would be a great time to pick up some fulfilling positive habits, such as the habits listed in this email, but also consider filling your time with things that you are interested in or passionate about. Explore what a life without porn can offer you. Want to learn an instrument? Want to write? Want to learn a new language? Want to do better in school or at work? Now's a great time to start chasing your dreams.

Pursue something positive and fulfilling in the long term.

You should consider pursuing a disciplined activity that helps you embrace delayed gratification over instant satisfaction. This builds discipline and according to many experts and research, might increase your willpower reserves to resist urges to PMO.

Select from the list above or pick your own activity.

Allow yourself to focus.

Don't try to quit too many things at once, or pick up too many new habits at once. Overwhelming yourself with too many goals often leads to not reaching any of goals.

By quitting PMO, you are making a huge change in your life and that requires an amount of attention devoted to the rebooting process.

Instead of trying to quit a bunch of things at once, just focus on on your reboot at first. The discipline and willpower you gain from from quitting one habit, such as porn, will build momentum to quit other habits in the future.

So instead of being concerned that you aren't making any progress in one habit, look at it instead as building the discipline necessary to obtain success when you finally do start working on more habits.

Connect with others.

Some people say that "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety; it is connection".

As a social species, humans evolved to be connected with others. Other people were how you obtained the materials and services that weren't available in your locality. Other people were essential for obtaining the basic necessities of life.

Now we live in different times where interaction with people is less necessary to daily living. This means people are more isolated, and this can spark feelings of loneliness. Loneliness, and the often-associated feeling boredom, are common triggers for PMO. Managing these feelings by connecting with others and being more social, then, can also significantly decrease urges to PMO.

Friends. Family. The forums. These are all good options.

Learn from your mistakes.

Don't just have a near slip-up or relapse and do nothing about it. Take something positive from the situation. Identify what triggered you. Think about what steps you could take to limit a recurrence of that situation. Make a plan and stick to it.

For example, if you find yourself relapsing while your roommates is away, plan to be away when they are or, if that is impossible, shut down your devices and do chores while they are away.

Stay motivated.

Consume our platform's content. Track your progress on paper or on the site. Reflect often. Write a journal. Watch out when you finally complete your original day number goal because this is a time when a lot of rebooters relapse (in this case, it might be helpful to set a new goal). Revisit your reasons for quitting PMO often.

Forgive yourself.

No matter how bad that you think you have it, many of us have been there before. Leave that shame in the past. Use it as motivation to make changes, but don't wallow in self-pity. Hating yourself is counterproductive and leads to more hate.

At least forgive yourself and realize that this type of self-loathing isn't what is best for reaching your goals. Acknowledge your negative feelings and then try to let them go.