120 days - (ED) Succesful sex, no anxiety
Brief history (April 13, 2012)
I started becoming sexually active when I was 15. I could get it up whenever for whoever. I had a girlfriend for a long time as a teenager and we were both very happy with our sex lives; to this day the best sex I've had. Eventually things ended with us and it was devastating for me. Around this time (maybe a year before) porn tube channels were making their debut.
I need to point something interesting out. I don't think I'm an addict in the sense that I spent hours a day looking at porn, I never did that. At the most I would spend 30 - 45 minutes, but that wasn't that often. What I think killed my sex drive is that I would depend on porn. I would PMO roughly 5 times a week, sometimes twice a day, shuffling through videos to find the right one, for ~30 minutes at a time. So while not as severe as some, I still believe this is the main contribution to my lackluster sex drive.
I was 20 years old and in college when I first experienced ED with a girl. I had been drinking all day (it was my birthday) and attributed it to that (which definitely added to it). The next morning tried again and nothing, particularly because I was terrified of what happened the night before. As the story goes, the next four years of my sex life were very mediocre. I could get it up for girls but had to rush to put condoms on, also not really feeling too much whenever I met a new girl or spent the night with her. I continued to PMO 4 - 5 times a week without even thinking twice. I blamed my lack of sex drive on drinking (which doesn't help, I don't drink much anymore), on diet, on lack of exercise, on stress. I've improved all of these things, and yes I have seen an improvement but not near a full recovery. After finding information about rebooting I decided I'd give it a try, and I'm already seeing some interesting results.
So this is where my journey begins
I'm on day 10 and my sex drive has been up and down. Can't say that I'm in a flatline period, but some days it feels like that. I feel more energetic, and restless. Feeling slightly manic at times, but it subsides with exercise. Last night I had the first sex dream I've had in years where I was completely turned on hooking up with a girl. I was sitting next to her watching a movie and was drunk with passion and just went for it, something I hadn't felt since I was 20. What I mean is, I woke up with huge wood. Oh, and the girl was Tina Fey.
I feel like things are pretty much back where I left off about a week ago. I'm really on day 33, but I went through a small flatline (a couple days) after my "release" last week, so I'll just count last week as a period of time to get back up to speed.
Experiencing occasional morning wood, in varying intensities. This last week I had at least one long lasting, hard morning wood, prob around 85%. Also, been getting semis just from walking around, I think it's mostly triggered by the friction against my underwear/pants, which is a good sign that sensitivity is back. This morning, got real hard, close to 100% from just the thought of something related to sex, like someone talking about getting a blowjob on this site, no visuals. I stood up and it was sticking out hugeee, and stayed that way for about a minute. Light strokes kept it super hard after that. I was out drinking last night... which always makes me hornier in the morning, so that may be an influencing factor.
It's been gradual but I think my wood is starting to last longer from less and less stimulation. I guess that is the ultimate goal here, to be able to maintain wood with as little stimulation as possible (mental and physical). Where do we draw the line? There's got to be a point where it's only natural to need some sort of stimulation. And how do we measure when that amount of stimulation we need is natural? More importantly, when do we know when ED is cured? I think when I was younger I could stay hard for a while, with out much stimulation but I don't remember how long. I think I'm becoming impatient!
I will probably start updating this less frequently as to keep my mind off the whole thing as much as possible. If anything significant happens, I will post about it, though.
I started a journal back in April but was bad about keeping it up to date. Since April 3rd I haven't looked at porn but I have masturbated on and off after a month of rebooting. After a couple months into the reboot I noticed my confidence level was soaring and anxiety was minimal (long history with anxiety).
I've recently been seeing a girl and normally I'd be worried about having sex and having problems putting condoms on or rushing to insert so I wouldn't lose it. Last weekend (possible trigger?) she gave me two blow jobs which I was very sensitive to, all she had to do was go near my dick and it would respond to her touch. Now, today we had sex for the first time and I wasn't worried at all how I would perform, I just felt much more confident and knew that the reboot was working. Sure enough, no condom issues, no anxiety and had good sex. She wanted it again a few hours later and STILL no issues.
I wouldn't say I'm completely back yet and I've read many reports where things still get better after 5 - 7 months go by of rewiring. I look forward to things getting even better, but for now I'm super happy.
I hope this helps some of you guys out, stay with the reboot.