120 days - feel great, improvements in social anxiety, being relaxed, talking to girls
I am the champion. 120 days on hard mode. Feel really good! I am so clever and funny and goodlooking :P Here's some thoughts and tips and whatever.
Growing up I was super acne covered, super insecure, had some penis medical issues and I just figured "I'll fap until I get all my shit handled" and the months turned into years. I stayed insecure, watched a shitload of porno.
- Took a while after that, after my sex drive dropped into the toilet, for me to get the picture. But I'm glad I did!
Well now I feel great. I have improved myself in many areas, most importantly, social anxiety, being relaxed, talking to girls, and whatnot. I have kept rigorous records and my behaviour is clearly different. Of course I took other steps other than simply not masturbating. The other day I saw a cute girl dancing and I just walked up to her and said "Hey, how's it going" and then later I did it again! This was unheard of for me. Nothing came of it, but they were certainly happy to talk to me. I've had more little encounters like that in the last month than I did in the whole year previously.
- Nofap is amazing source of pride to me and I feel that if I can accomplish this, then talking to a girl is really easy in comparison.
What's interesting to me, I see lots of confident secure guys, and I'm sure some of them fap and even watch porn. Why should they be able to do it naturally and I have to do all this work to get to the same place? I can't explain it. Everybody knows that you can't be a functioning heroin user. You always become an addict. But there are some who do not become addicts of porn despite consumption. Thems the brakes as they say. 69,172 of us are not those people.
- Fappers need to remember, there is a learning curve. You can't go from being a porno watching troll, hiding in your dark room, to a magnificent sun dweller in a day, It's not natural to you and you have to practice. I would actually say that 120 should be the minimum, not 90 days. I didn't start feeling so good until about day 110.
- Ducttape your hands together at night! No more night fapping! Hahahaha i didn't actually try this, but maybe.....
- Fapping was your coping mechanism. Don't be surprised when you get more stressed and pissed off on nofap. You aren't taking your "medication" It's ok, just learn better strategies.
- Use meetup.com. It's a way to meet friendly strangers to do whatever interests you.
- Use positive visualization. Seems kind of fishy, but you create what you think about. I was thinking really hard about a certain girl, and then I ran into her, totally randomly! Visualize your reality as you want to it be, the universe will strive to create it.
- Cut out your other bullshit habits (I am currently struggling with television).
- Taking tips from porn on how to be manly is stupid. Maybe you think "I'm a man! Men watch nasty porno, I'm not going to wimp out! I can be just as agressive as these guys! I certainly did." You don't need sylvester stallone to tell you what's manly, and you don't need porn.
- Leave your motherfucking house! Can't relapse in the bar (can you?) Can't meet real ladies in your room.
- Whoever said you see women less as sex objects was full of crap.. I am outrageously horny all the time walking around with a half erection (a vast improvement) and real life ladies all look like tasty snacks. But! I find myself also concerned with their personalities. Like they are people who I just happen to want to have sex with. Bad personalities make them less attractive, because I want to talk to them.
- From ybop: Finally, there comes a time when young guys who trained their sexual responses to porn need to rewire to real partners. If not sexually, then socially. You need contact with others. You may need to fantasize or start self stimulation.
At this point, if I relapse, I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it. I did what I came here to do. I used to smoke a lot of pot, and I still smoke occasionally, but I realize it does not help me. Too much definitely doesn't help you be successful. Same with fapping (without porno). I can now look at it as a waste of time, once in a while ok, but not a constructive use of your time. Maybe I will, maybe I won't again. I'll take it as it comes. But in order for this to be a source of pride, there has to be an end date that you complete! Even if you keep going after that
In the meantime, while you are on this challenge, stay strong and don't touch your fucking penis or vagina! People say how do u deal with urges? You just DEAL WITH THEM. You just think: what does this fap get me? What does not fapping get me? Hopefully the second column wins out
UPDATE - update, gone back to fapping.
So what's up guys. At one point i went 130 days. Since then I have fapped without porn about 1x a week since mid august. I haven't gone back to porn, haven't suffered with my social anxiety so much, haven't fapped constantly. Have dealt with less energy and motivation, but wouldn't I have that anyway if I was having regular sex????
I noticed the first and second times, that I could not last as long at all, and I was always a quick draw. I went back because i think it's important to practice "lasting longer" during the act. Although I do 10 ish day streaks in between now.
So uh why am I telling you this? I guess I'm looking for other people who beat their problem and went back without major incident. Do you exist?
Although I will say this for the haters: I felt amazing when I wasn't fapping, and I have definitely lost some of the "fire" that got me change things in my life. I have backslid a bit. I also found that abstaining totally sort of told my brain not to bother getting horny, and I felt I needed to "turn back on that part of me." Whether or not it worked is still up for review