Age 26 - 2 years ago I was close to committing suicide: I truly feel like I have been given a second chance
2 years ago I was very close to committing suicide, I was a sad person with no goals, no desire to live and waking up wishing life wouldn't be shit most of the time.
- I "worked" at home and barely made enough money to pay bills
- I never wanted to go out, rather stay playing video games or watching movies since that was free
- Never graduated from university
- Was extremely insecure
- Haven't meet new people in years
- Only good thing i had going on was my girlfriend
- I had no personal goals, all i wanted was to be with my gf
- My sex life was a joke, literally.
- I was miserable because I felt like i was wasting my life but was too much of an insecure fuck to do something about it.
Then my gf left me and my depression reached the max point.. in my depression I started to look why I was such a loser and I found this subreddit. For 15 years I fapped daily maybe 2 times a day, never knowing that was what was actually destroying me.
I started to try to stop but I would always relapse, I felt miserable and useless but at the same time I knew what the problem was, then i decided that was enough, went through some changes in my life and started my 90 days challenge
- I went back to get my degree, it has been hard but I have one of the highest grades from all the faculty (huge confidence boost)
- I literally met girls while studying, I still talk to most of them, they are pretty cool
- I started running, I hated it at the beginning because of how hard it was (I haven't made exercise in years), now I feel it's really good
- I lost weight and for some reason I truly feel happy with how i am right now (Although I feel like I can improve in some areas)
- I got a job that also pays me to learn SEO and Google Adwords - It's literally a dream come true for me.
- I literally wanna get out of my comfort zone as much as I can; I wanna experience things, learn stuff, and be alive. The rush is amazing and something I haven't thought that it would be so awesome.
- I wake up with a smile on my face, every time I feel that my mind just melts. I mean, I sound like a self righteous dick sometimes but I truly feel like I've been through so much shit in my life that the experience of waking up wanting to get out of my house and "live" is just unbelievable, I truly feel like I have been given a second chance, it's something i truly cannot describe.
I do not care about the 90 days anymore, living instead of fapping is becoming a habit for me and once I reach 90 days I will make a video of all this, showing you that I'm not bullshiting you guys is the least I can do.
You guys have been great friends and partners in all this and I admire every single one of you, those who relapse understand what the problem is and fight to make it. Those who make it to 90 days understand that the urge will still be there but living is more important.
You guys, I am alive and I thank you all for that. In a way, I owe you all my life and i will be forever grateful.
Thank you all, I love every single one of you.
LINK - Day 78: My life has changed.