230 days - Many positive changes (ED)
Hey folks. Yesterday marked my last day of nofap, thought I'd share some quick thoughts about my experiences over the last 230 days. I started nofap with the goal of recovering from porn addiction. I'd been struggling to quit porn on and off for at least a year and a half, probably more like two. I'd succeed at not watching porn for a few weeks or so then give in to the urge to view it again, and end up binging and watching just as often as I always had. I realized how badly I needed to change after some severe ED and sexual performance issues became apparent in a relationship.
I stopped fapping for a few different reasons...mainly I was seeking the "reset." I'd been watching porn for so long that it had completely taken over my sexuality. Without it I was essentially asexual. I wanted to deprive myself of orgasm to allow for a "reboot"...I wanted to build up a new sense of sexuality, one centered around real women and completely detached from porn.
It worked! My attraction to real women has magnified to levels it never had reached before nofap. I appreciate the beauty of, and am powerfully attracted to, a much wider range of women than before nofap. What's more, when I think about or yearn for sexual release now, it's real women I'm thinking about, not sitting on a computer and staring at the screen.
ED-wise, I don't get spontaneous erections as often as I'd like, but I'm certain I'll respond well to sexual intimacy and perform well. And my overall views towards sexuality are a million times healthier than they were when I was viewing porn constantly.
Within the last week I started to feel like I had reached my goal of liberating myself from dependence on porn, and like I was ready to start bringing some sense of pornless personal sexuality back in to my life without it feeling unhealthy to me. So I'm shutting down the counter.
Stick with it folks. It really does make a huge difference to liberate yourself from porn addiction. The urges are the most difficult part because they are so powerful...I still get them sometimes. With practice you develop your own strategies for recognizing and ignoring those urges, and eventually, when an urge strikes, you recognize it as nothing but the addicted part of your brain hoping for another fix, and ignore it. And every time that happens, the urges weaken, and more importantly their power over your mind weakens.
As with others, during nofap I noticed some interesting changes...increased confidence, a tendency to feel emotions more richly and deeply...wonderful and surprising changes (I don't want to sensationalize but I did notice mostly positive changes!). I still believe that these changes have more to do with having an addiction-free mind than any direct effects of fapping.
The most important lesson I'll take away from this is the same lesson I took away at day 90. If you see negative patterns in your life; things that are contributing to anxiety or insecurity, or unhealthy dependencies on insubstantial things, or repeated mental "spirals" that cause unhappiness and pain, you have the power to change them. With determination, and support from others, and positivity (motivate yourself by positivity, it works much better than negativity), you can change what needs to be changed to live a richer life.
Sure! I'm one of those younger generation folks who'd been watching porn throughout adolescence, so it had a very strong and central role in my sense of sexuality. In a relationship I had all sorts of embarassing issues during this time...mostly either a total failure to become hard at all, or very premature ejaculations. Either way, it wasn't much fun, and it was what made me aware I needed to change.
After quitting porn, for quite a while I felt almost totally asexual in the sense that I seldom fantasized or got erections, although it wasn't long before I started to feel much, much more attracted to pretty much all real-life women (which was very exciting!). Over time, morning wood began to return, as did some fantasizing about sex with real women (which was nice too, as one of my goals was to focus my sexuality back on real sex where it belongs). Now, morning wood's largely back, and random erections have begun to return, usually caused by interacting with real women in some way.
I should add the disclaimer that I have not been sexually active in this period so I can't report on how I've performed in real-life sex scenarios.