850+days "Now I feel like a real man"
Pre masturbation I led a happy life: I was surrounded by good friends, I got good grades, excelled in sport and despite feeling awkward around girls still realised that they were interested in me. I did suffer from stints of depression but it never managed to have a serious impact on me.
I started regular masturbation before most of my friends, I do not know why but I would assume It had something to do with my early physical development.
After a month masturbation had become a daily must and I came to face with my addiction about a year in after having masturbated on a school trip, I realised that nobody else had this dependancy and felt shameful and sickened to the core. This sudden realisation made perfect sense, my grades had been dropping, I didn't feel as physically strong and every attractive girl I saw my first thought was about having sex with them.
I had also felt engulfed in serious depression and was taking anti-depressants to help me cope with suicidal thoughts. I was at rock bottom, my life revolved around a shameful addiction that I had to lie, trick and deceive to fulfil. At first I resigned myself to my addiction taking an apathetic view on how I should fight it but after talking to a friend we decided to give up together (his situation was less severe but he saw the negative effects and wanted to give up nevertheless.)
My first day in over 2 years when I didn't masturbate was May 2011, Im not going to sugar coat it, I felt like I was escaping from hell, the more I struggled to quit the more I was tempted to return to my old ways. I failed to reach double digits 3 times in a row. I saw the success my friend was having reaching a considerable streak on his first go with no sign of going back. They say jealousy is bad but not in this case, it awakened my competitive nature and on my birthday June 11th 2011 I quit for one last time. I had planned the month scrupulously to eliminate all possibilities of failure. Something inside of me clicked and I knew this was it, no 'one last fap' for me I was embarking on my journey now.
The first few weeks were hellish, serious withdrawals, moody behaviour and I was feeling a lack of purpose as something that had previously dominated my life had left a huge void where it had been stripped away.
Once I reached a month me and my 'accountability partner' both rewarded ourselves and went out for the night. For the first night in ages I was able to enjoy myself without constantly thinking about sex. The effect was so powerful I cried tears of triumph and joy when I got home. It convinced me never to go back. Unfortunately my buddy tripped up in his journey and had to reset but I can't lie and say I wasn't immensely happy when I took the pole position in our nofap streaks.
Below are some tips I found helpful when I gave up fapping:
- Stop anything that you would consider 'out of the norm' the more you browse those sections the further you get from reality and the worse you'll be with girls in real encounters.
- Plan scrupulously you are setting yourself up to fail if your are left for long periods to let your mind run wild.
- Set goals and milestones.
- Get in touch with other non fappers (pardon the pun).
- Reward yourself when you get to a milestone it brings a positive association with not fapping.
Below are a list of personal benefits I have experienced throughout my journey:
- My workouts are way more intense and my weights wen't up 25% within a month of quitting.
- I have come off anti-depressants and now feel in control of my depression.
- I have had much more healthy (and sexual) relationships with females.
- I am never fatigued (apart from after an intense workout) anymore and used to wake up exhausted after 8 hours sleep.
- When I have sex with females the sensation is greatly heightened and my performance has been complemented many times.
- My co-ordination, power and sprint times have improved dramatically and now compete at one of the highest levels within my country.
If I had to sum it up concisely I now feel like a 'real man'.