9 Tips to 90
First time rebooter. Went the distance without a single relapse. No PMO, MO, peaking, edging, etc. What follows is my blueprint for success. Personal story at the end.
9 Tips to 90
1) Research. Read all the articles from Your Brain On Porn. Read rebooting accounts here. Read success stories. Read studies. Then, when you're tempted, you know EXACTLY why you're rebooting, know EXACTLY what will happen if you CHOOSE to relapse, and have complete confidence in the process. Any doubt, any uncertainty leads to failure. This process works! The first couple weeks are the hardest, but once you break through and start seeing results, it gets much easier.
2) A calendar+counter. I've got the counter here which keeps me accountable to the YBR members and a calendar next to my laptop staring me right in the face whenever urges hit. No joke, I would draw a line through each day I made it without PMO/masturbation. Some days, any time I was tempted, I would inch that line through the day for every hour I made it. Soon the hours become days and the days become weeks and then you're cured. It is essential to keep track, but if you view the 90 days as a whole, you’ll never make it. I recommend setting your first counter to 30, then when you get close, extend it to 60 and then 90. In retrospect, however, it’s really not that long at all. 90 days for a better life isn’t much at all.
3) Posting here. This is HUGE. Any time I was tempted, I would jump on this site and read up on posts (though most guys recommend getting out of the house/office when tempted). Any time I found myself losing motivation, I found it again on this site. Support is crucial!
4) Exercise. Proper nutrition. And cold showers. All three increase blood flow, health, and mental clarity. Need to keep the O2 up and the blood pumping. When you get that first morning/spontaneous erection in years, you'll realize that you will NEVER go back to porn. I think I've expanded that personally to masturbation, though that's your choice AFTER the reboot. Absolutely NO touching during the reboot. Masturbation, even without porn, sets you back. There are a few guys who have managed to reboot with MO, but keep in mind 1) it takes MUCH, MUCH longer and 2) They are the exception. You, most likely (sorry to say), are not the exception. Be honest with yourself on this.
5) Be strong. Get in the mindset that PORN IS NO LONGER AN OPTION. Think back to how shitty it has made your life. Write it down. Read it every day. Some guys are here for years trying to reboot. Don't be like them. 90 days is (generally) all it takes. Set small goals and milestones to make the journey easier. The further you get away from Day 0, the harder it becomes to PMO and live with a reset and with failing yourself. Secondly, be both your biggest supporter AND your toughest critic. Hold yourself to a higher standard during reboot, but IF you should relapse, don’t bash yourself too much. Perfectionists tend to binge the hardest after a relapse and binging is WAY worse than a short relapse.
6) K9 Web Protection. There are multiple opinions on this account. Some say to use strictly your own resolve. Others say it’s a weak-minded way to cheat the reboot. I say that’s fuckkking stupid! Get this shit. Seriously. On day one. No, really. Stop reading right now and go install it; you’re going to need all the help you can get. Aside: DO NOT CHEAT YOUR BLOCKER. You still need self-control when bikini, body paint, and booty pics pop up. Once you start opening tabs or searching “gray” areas, you’re cheating.
7) Rewire with a woman. Quit MO’ing during your reboot. If your only outlet for release is a wet dream or an actual encounter with the opposite sex, you’ll be more inspired to put the work in to improve that area of your life. Quit hiding behind your laptop. Quit making excuses.
8 ) Use the reboot as a springboard into other areas of self-improvement. Fitness. Dieting. Dating. Career. Hobbies. School. Spirituality. Meditation. Rebooting is about retaking control of your life and your manhood. Embrace it and use your time wisely. Stick with it and you’ll get your dick back. The time you’ve wasted (and continue to waste) on porn and other negative habits is gone forever. All lost opportunities. Quit repeating the cycle.
9) Lastly, do not let kicking the addiction become your addiction. Wait, what? Yeah, you heard me. Some guys on here relapse every two weeks like clock work. “Lol, guys just came into a tissue. Shit, I suck. I love this community. Coddle me.” Man the fuck up! As awesome as rebalanced has been, it is a TEMPORARY support community. Do the work and get the fuck out into the real world and stand on your own damn legs. Too many guys sabotage their efforts because they’re afraid of what might actually happen if they have to go out and make small talk with a woman. If it’s day 88 and you’ve got the opportunity for sex, rail that chick silly. Do NOT hide your insecurities behind a reboot.
Make it happen.
Stats: 25. Started on pictures very young. High-speed since 15. Viewing novelty got as far as verbal degradation, physical abuse, machines, and GBs with up to 20 HD tabs open at once. Girlfriends and sexual partners throughout my teens. First PIED at 20.
Turned more and more to porn and less and less to real women with each ED experience. Eventually, no response without ED drugs. Found YBOP right when I started doubling the dosage.
NO PMO Results:
- Drastically improved skin. My whole back, upper chest, and shoulders used to be covered in acne. Even tanning beds and oral medication couldn’t hide all the blemishes. Next to nothing now with minimal skin products. Cold showers also played a part in this
- Improved mood
- No more depression (I used to lose weeks of productivity to movie watching/video games/porn/net surfing/daydreaming)
- No more anxiety+increased optimism
- Solid morning wood every day. Started a few weeks in. Now, if I wear boxers to bed, my erections will literally wake me up in the middle of the night
- Bigger flaccid hang
- Heavier balls (my nuts used to hug the shaft)
- Less irritability (after reboot though- early on, it could get pretty bad)
- Deeper voice
- Clearer speech
- Gains in gym (used to add 5-10lbs per month on lifts, now it’s 15-20lbs on major lifts. Had to restrain myself on squats and deads because the weight was getting scary for my 190lb frame)
- More focus and drive
- More rational standards- For the sake of humility, I’ll just say that I’m an above-average looking guy. Before YBOP, my standards were outrageous. I would turn down 2-3 willing and attractive women a week because they didn’t match my pornstar criteria. Eventually, the only women I was sleeping with were dancers, strippers, and nymphos with big tits, asses, and daddy issues. Even then, I would need pills to maintain an erection. Now, I develop actual relationships with women I wouldn’t mind bringing home to mom and dad.
- No mid-afternoon lethargy
- Require less sleep (from 9-10+hours with naps to 6-7 a night, no naps)
- Better hair. I was developing a receding hairline and the overall texture was coarse and lackluster in shine. I don’t think you can “regrow” the hairline without products, but it’s certainly stopped receding, looks healthier, and feels better.
- Realistic body image. Used to get “size” anxiety despite being nearly 8 inches and “stage fright” when urinating around other men. Now my stream hits the toilet like a savage dam release.
I only wish I had discovered YBOP in my teens. I feel like I’ve lost so much time already. This particular feeling of shame is probably why I was able to go the full 90 without relapse. I wanted to put all this behind me and wasn’t going to waste any more time with PMO. I’m 25 now. I didn’t want to reach 30 and be thinking “man, if only I had quit when I was 25”
Bonus: Had my first natural sexual encounter in 4 years last week. Threesome. Came quickly the first couple times, but recovered within 10-15 minutes. Lasted the rest of the night the third time. Was sorely tempted to use ED pills, but didn’t. This was the final mental hurdle of my reboot. I am my own man again.