90 days - 10 years waiting for this moment

Printer-friendly version

Finally!! 90 days hard-mode!

I still remember the first time I PMOed, back when I was 11 yo. It was something I discovered on my own, no one talk to me about it and I didn't know whether it was good or bad, but the first time I felt pretty bad, it was a weird feeling and I promised myself to never do it again. Of course at that point I didn't know how addictive that feeling was, it seemed a harmless fun thing to do, so I did it pretty much every day for following years.

Every time I did it I regretted it, every time I would promise me that it was gonna to be the last time, but it wasn't. A couple of years ago I started looking for groups with the same interest of quitting this habit, I found this subreddit and a couple of other sites. It was good to know that I was not alone in this effort to improve. I got a better understanding of the problem and different methods to quit. I tried many different strategies, I tried almost everything imaginable, but I was still failing. I still remember how fascinating it was to see posts of people reaching the 90 days, it seemed to me impossible to get there, I was completely committed to it but I was only able to get 30 days at most. The people who reached the 90 days were heroes to me. I'm not lying if I say that I failed hundred times before getting here.

So what was different this time compared to my previous reboots? I'm sure that the most significant difference was my willpower. I legit tried a lot of external methods, like cold showers, going for walks when feeling urges, having a calendar to track my progress or writing daily snippets. Every time I started a new reboot, I would try to do something different, a new strategy, but sooner or later I would always fail. This time I got tired of failing so much, that I just decided to not fail anymore. It was such a solid determination that it doesn't matter how bad I felt, or how strong my urges were, I just wouldn’t PMO. I wanted to proof to myself that I was in control of my actions, that I was able to make decisions and change my life, that I was alive now and I could do whatever I wanted to do, so I did it. During this time the lack of PMO pushed me to find something different to do, which ended up in cool things like being more outgoing, more social, increasing my group of friends and being more confident. Before I would be afraid of asking a girl out, but nowadays it is just something natural, like when I go to parties most of the time I end up making out with hot girls, which is something that never happened to me. I've also been going to the gym pretty regularly in the last months and I'm in my best shape ever, it is not that good yet but still making progress.

I think this is a really good way to close my year, just completed all my courses and I'll be graduating next month, got a great job offer for the next year, just recently got a new GF, I'll be traveling in the next couple of months just to relax from completing school, and, well it seems to be a promising new year, I'll try to do better next year.

TL;DR I had a great improvement this year and would just advise you to do what you have to do, no excuses, no delays, just do it.

Happy new year to everyone !!

LINK - 90 days, 10 years waiting for this moment

by aleatorio