First of all, thank you for this site, it gives me big hope after months of medium ED and weeks of depression

I want to stop PMO for as long as needed to try to recover. I think I can manage to stop PM for a long period of time (>2 months). My concern is more regarding sexual intercourse and orgasm. Indeed, I have recently met a new girlfriend, and it is very difficult & depressing for me to think that I will have to avoid making love to her for next 2 months.

I have understood that all sexual stimulation has to be stopped for a certain period of time. So, I will try to avoid sexual intercourse for 1 month. I would like to know whether it will ruin all my effort to start again sexual intercourse (avoiding orgasm as much as possible) after one month of rebooting process, if I have recovered enough from ED. It would result in
- first month without PMO
- second month without PM but with sexual intercourse (and some orgasms)

Thank you for your help!

This is the most common question we get. We don't have an easy answer.

Have you seen this FAQ? It may help. - "Rebooting with a partner" http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner It has a few links.

Also see "How long will it take?" http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-long-will-it-take

Having a girlfriend can be a great asset in your recovery. Snuggling, smooching touching is all good. When it comes to coming, most guys with ED will say give it a rest. This account describes such a situation.
"Age 21 - Sex with girlfriend may have slowed reboot (ED)"

Another way to approach sex is to not get too overheated and to avoid orgasm. My wife's site was founded on such an approach. You can read about it here: "Another Way to Make Love" http://yourbrainonporn.com/another-way-to-make-love

Ultimately, you will have to find what works for you. If you decide to mix in orgasms, do not compare your progress or time-frames to others who did not orgasm. Also, if you started masturbating at the same time you started porn use, recovery from ED may take longer than men who masturbated for years before using porn as a regular masturbation aid.

I will try to start with a whole month of no PMO & no sex. Then, I will see how I feel and I may experiment no PMO but sexual intercourse. I will try to let you know what the results are. Hope it will help other people as current stories help me now !
Thank you all!

Hello Gary

I have started 'no PMO process' for 3 weeks (without PMO up to now). No visible progress for the moment: my erections are still not full & do not last without physical stimulation. Actually, mental stimulation that triggered and maintained my erections before my ED problems, has still no effect. I know 3 weeks is not a lot and I have to keep on...

I have read the story you mentionned (Age 21 - Sex with girlfriend may have slowed reboot (ED)), so I will try to keep on with no PM & no O, as long as needed.

I had no coitus with my girlfriend, but some strong sexual arousal/stimulation though, about once a week. Do you have examples / stories that showed that karezza (=sex without orgasm, as far as I have understood) could slow the recovery process?

Thank you again for your help!

I can't say if it slows the progress, as we would have to do experiments. We suspect that if you don't go near the edge and just keep it relatively warm, they it may be ok.
This link goes to karezza korner which maybe helpful - Karezza is for sex addicts (too)


First off I want to say how grateful I am to have found this site. I've come to realize quite recently with some clarity that my porn addiction was having a real negative impact in my life.

I'm 26 and the only fulfilling romantic relationship I have been in was when I was 16. This was before college and before my appetite for porn began to grow and grow. I'm an only child from a small family. My parents got divorced my freshman year and I ( to my surprise) was very very upset about the whole thing. Before I knew it I was looking at porm numerous times every day as a way to escape my feelings. From that point on, porn has been with me. Sometimes I would do it less, sometimes more. But it was always there.

I dated a little in college but the relationships never lasted long. When things became intimate I had to "fantasize" about the porn I had watched. I was apathetic and just continued masturbating to porn instead of trying to build a solid relationship.

Now i'm finishing up grad school and i'm starting to look back and take stock of what has happened and why. I just started dating a girl I have liked for a very long time. I wasn't able to get an erection in bed with her. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

I want to experience that sort of closeness and feel that porn has kept me from doing so. However, because I use porn as my "safety blanket" I am having a hard time dealing with life's stressers without it. I no longer have my "porn cave" to hide out in.

I dried out from p for a week. Yesterday and the day before I slipped up. I'm m thinking of going to a sexaholics anon meeting, but i'm scared. I just wish that this could be over or that I could tell the past me to never have done something which would so have messed with my brain.

Thanks for listening.



Know that relapses are the norm. Just start again, and again, if necessary. Not too many people respond to comments posted on this site. You may want to visit our sister site where all the blogging and posting occurs - http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

The structure is part forum part blog. Once you post Marnia can enable you to blog.

Wishing you success

I've been porn free for a while now, at least a month. At first it was like my erections were getting better, getting morning wood for the first time in years and when I occasionally masturbated I would react much better than I had before. Then my libido seemed to dissapear and if I ever tried to masturbate it was impossible, which is apparently normal.

Then things started to slowly pick up, getting a bit of morning wood again and if I did masturbate things would work better, but I knew I wasn't there yet. I figured if I was on the mend I could masturbate like normal again, but then I read on here that you should refrain as much as possible until you've completely rebooted, so I gave it all up again. But during this time of regular masturbation I did once look at porn on the internet. I couldn't see any videos because K9 web protection wouldn't let me, but I got to see some pictures through a proxy and masturbated.

This was about a week ago and I'm in the same state; I have a libidio and do get horny and can get some erections but still not readily working, will I have to completely reboot again or am I almost there?

It's a bit hard to follow what you are doing, and not doing for a reboot.
From your description, you have porn-induced ED - correct? Yet you say that you are still masturbating.

How often have you masturbated during this month of rebooting?
How often have you orgasmed?
Are fantasizing, or surfing the net for other sexual stimuli?

You know that it can take 90-120 days, but that's for men who do not regularly masturbate.

Masturbating every few days, orgasming whenever I masturbate, fantasising when masturbating. I never search the net for sexual stimuli apart from what time I gave in.

Rebboting for porn-induced ED involves no porn, no masturbation, no orgasms, no fantasizing. Very few guys are perfect, as most men relapse along the way. However, if you continue to masturbate and orgasm, I cannot say how long full recovery will take.

In essence - you have not started your rebooting process.

The main FAQ on porn and ED - It will explain everything, and link you to multiple accounts of ED recovery.

I strongly suggest you visit our forum to receive feedback and share with other men recovering from ED.

Good luck

Hi. I'm 28 and I have been free of PMO for the past 2 and a half weeks!

Over the past few years my libido has plummeted and I stumbled upon this site while searching for possible answers, and felt that alot of the symptoms fitted my situation. The difficulty in having sex with a partner, the increase in extremity of porn to try and get that fix and eventually struggling to get it up even with porn...

Thing is, I was never an extremely heavy user. At my worst it was probably only around once or twice a day, but always with porn.

A few years back, before all this started getting bad, I found it really strange when I struggled to get an erection when I was at a strip club - I had no idea what was wrong with me and the thought entered my mind that I might have turned gay... And around the same time started to notice that I really struggled to get an erection without porn or sex.

From there that's when things did go downhill quite a bit. Sex with partners became a real struggle and the porn became stronger.

That being said, the thing I would like to mention here is that masturbation over the past couple of years has often been only once or twice a week, due to it being a struggle to get an erection and often the whole thing being really unrewarding.

So because of that, I wonder was it really a porn addiction or is there maybe something else wrong with me?

I used to wonder why I would even bother with the porn sessions over the past couple of years however that couple or few days a week, I just couldn't seem to resist - even though I knew it was never going to be particularly satisfying.

Since I've been off porn I've had 1 wet dream (first time in years) and some semi erections in bed when I'm waking up etc. But apart from that, I've not noticed much of a difference. I do realise however, that it takes a lot longer than 2 and a half weeks and I'm very prepared to continue on this path, if its the correct one..

So in your honest opinion from what I've said, would you say porn addiction would be the likely cause of my ED or unlikely?

You can tell me straight :-)


Honestly, it does sound like porn-induced ED. I have seen thousands of porn-induced ED accounts, yet only a few are posted on our site. All are different, but all have one variable in common - years of porn use and ED. Some men develop ED from masturbating only once a day or less to swimsuit models.

Everything you describe lines up perfectly with porn-induced ED. If teens are developing porn-induced, a 28 year old with many more years of porn use, certainly could.

The question: What else could it be?

Your drop in libido indicates either porn-induced ED or hormonal imbalance. It's rare for a 28 year old to have testosterone levels low enough to cause ED. Other hormones, like prolactin (rare tumors) could case similar problems. But both abnormalities come with a whole host of signs and symptoms not related to erectile health.

When in doubt, get everything checked by a doctor. It will ease your mind, and remove any doubts as to what to do.

Please note that many hunter-gatherer tribes have no word for masturbation. Once or twice a day to porn might not seem like a lot to a porn saturated culture, but this is an experiment. See - WEIRD Masturbation Habits

The only way to know if it is the correct path is to walk it.

Thanks so much for the reply Gary.

I have to admit when I first stumbled upon this site and watched all the videos, I got really excited that I had found the explanation for the problems I've been having.

I guess after a couple of weeks I started to get some paranoia and doubt that maybe I couldn't be cured.

Your words of encouragement are exactly what I needed to carry on knowing that I am on a good path. Anyway, I have nothing to lose by doing this.

As a sidenote, I have been to the doctor about this and everything is normal in terms of hormone levels, heart and all the other checks they do. They couldn't help me, in the end they just gave me some viagra and sent me on my way. That was useless to me anyway, as without a libido there really isn't much point in getting an erection.

So I am going to continue on this path with my enthusiasm redoubled and god willing will be able to report back as another one of the success stories from this great website.

One more question if I may. I currently find that after having a few beers on a weekend night I get a strange libido injection the next day which has caused me to get really excited thinking, not about porn, but about hooking up with potential partners in my life.

I haven't acted on these thoughts aside from allowing the train of thought to continue, as it felt good.

Is this damaging to the recovery process, aside form obviously putting me in danger of a relapse?

Thanks again, I appreciate everything you guys do here.

Glad to hear you went to a doc. There's really only one choice left....porn. In the first month of the reboot it's normal to doubt for a few reasons: 1) We think we are special 2) Loss of libido or no progress 3) Your addict brain is trying to sneak in it's fix. Watch out for number 3!

Shouldn't be a problem thinking about girls as long as you are not imagining them in your favorite porn fantasy. There's nothing wrong with fooling around as long as you don't force erections with drugs/fantasy or have an orgasm.

Thanks alot man. Will update with progress as and when it happens :-)

I've had two exes who struggled with porn addiction. Now I'm single and thinking that it sure would be nice to have a boyfriend who didn't HAVE to use porn. But it seems impossible to find, particularly since I am not religious.

It makes me so sad to think of all the married women I know whose husbands use porn even though they know it makes their wives uncomfortable. I guess it's a good way to avoid actually building a satisfying sex life together, an admittedly difficult job. I've seen the effects porn has, I don't want to be part of it.

The more you and others make noise on public forums the better. We spend much energy and time debating (we post on Psychology Today, Good Men Project), others who say there is no porn problem, and no such thing as porn addiction.

It is sad that so many guys are getting hooked. By the time guys today are ready to date, they often have several years of brain-training under their belt. With most 12 year old boys now cutting their teeth on high-speed, free streaming porn, I'm afraid to see the situation ten years from now.

Being religious won't help, as no one is vaccinated for Internet porn. The limbic brain cares not where you spend your Sundays. Utah has the highest per-capita usage of porn.

I wish you the best of luck.

an entirely different approach to sex in your next relationship, if you can find a fellow adventurer. See, for example: http://yourbrainonporn.com/another-way-to-make-love I'm a high-libido gal and Gary's the male counterpart, but we finally realized that the harder you scratch the sexual itch, the less satisfied - and more restless - you feel. We were also astonished to discover that, for thousands of years, other humans had been making the same discoveries. For some of us, "less is truly more."

Hello All,

I am a 29 year old new user. Long story short I have been PMO'ing for about 10 years now. For some odd reason I never masterbated as a kid or even through high school. I actually thought it was something to be made fun of as you always heard kids calling people "masterbaters" and what not. It wasn't until I became sexually active with a girlfriend my freshmen year of college until I had something in my mind to turn me on enough to do it. Well since then I think for 365 days in a year I've probably masterbated to porn atleast 350 of them and sometimes multiples in a day. I've had partners that I could have sex with 3 times in a day and then still need to PMO later. The past 2 years I've been in a particularly down mind-state. I've been single and have experienced depression and extreme social anxieties (been a problem the last 10 years, coincidence?). During this time my only sexual experiences have been when I'm so intoxiated I haven't been able to perform at all.. I have been thinking lately that maybe my testesterone levels were low. I recently got that checked and it turns out my levels are very balanced if not high due to exercise habits. I've actually always thought porn and masterbation were healthy to keep your libido up. I never realized what it was doing to me. I'm more than ready to get over this and get into real life again. I am an attractive male, workout a lot, healthy and I get lots of attention from the ladies. At this age I feel like it's time to get control again. I'm one of the only people from my high school and friend group that's not married or in a serious relationship. On top of that an ex-girlfriend of 3 years just got engaged to the guy after me that's really had me in the dumps The question I have is what do you do to control the urges? Today is Tuesday and I just looked at porn and "relapsed" for the first time and I'm feeling guilty/dissapointed about it. Do you think it's OK to masterbate without porn if the urges become too strong? Asking because about 30 minutes ago it seriously felt like i had blue balls. I just really wanna be able to have a good healthy relationship with somebody that I care about but I feel like this habit is definately affected me negatively. Thanks for the replies in advance and I wish anybody reading this a speedy recovery if you're going through the same thing.

If you look under the Tools for Change, which is advisable, you will see links to "rebooting accounts", which are a collection of success stories.

Few people post on this site. You can find our busy forum/blog here -

If you think you have porn-induced ED, click on the first FAQ. Lots of advice and stories there.

Most guys limit or eliminate masturbation during the reboot process as it activates cravings, and really slows down ED recovery. As you will read stopping masturbation decreases the cravings to masturbate after about a week or so. It's far better to masturbate, than to use porn, since porn is the addiction. It may seem like masturbation is, but when your brain returns to balance, you will naturally masturbate less often.

Good luck

blue balls here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/blue-balls-lovers-nuts

You may find useful information for dealing with cravings here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/i-relapsed-what-now

Good luck. Sounds like you have a lot to gain from rebooting.

Sorry about all the questions. I'm driving myself crazy. I've Masturbated once in the last two weeks. I think I've finally got myself to give it up, but my mind does wonder. I know I'm not meant to fantasise and I try my best not to, but what if I was to fantasise about people I know who I think I could very feasible have sex with, in a realistic fashion? If I shouldn't I won't, but I might as well see what you think ha.

Key is to not replay porn fantasies. Once you start incorporating masturbation, then fantasy about real girls is fine.

About two months ago I quit for about three weeks but College started and stress made me fall off. I am rebooting again, I have stopped for about four days now. I hope this time I quit for good (because I have found this website). Over three year time frame, I have tried to reboot and failed so many times. The times had quit my grades had risen in college and was a different person to be around.

Welcome. Most guys need several atttempts before they overcome this addiction. You can visit our real forum on reuniting if you want to post where the real action is.

Good luck

Haha just joined about 5 hours ago...after i pmo ofcourse.... i accidently stumbled upon this site through a bodybuilding forum....anyway. I want to start out by saying i started masturbating at 13 and it was beyond my belief of the amazing feeling i had first felt when i climaxed. Since that day, I was strongly sucked in to the world of masturbation and soon enough the world of porn. Since I can recall, I was an extremely shy and socially nervous person. Saying that, I would always come home after school (especially in highschool) and first things first i would watch porn and masturbate till climax each time. A lot of days i would masturbate maybe 2-3 times. And as much as i can recall, during highschool, i would not want to socialize with anybody, and blamed it on my lack of sleep (about 5-6 hours each night) not so bad now that i think about it. Now in my third year of college, i continued this habit until till the end of my 2nd year. im not sure if i had guilty feelings in highschool, but when i entered college, i relealized that something was not right. everytime i came, i would feel depressed and very bad mood. i would not want to talk to anybody not even at home and just isolate myself for a good 5-6 hours not doing anything. i felt unmotivated and felt as if porn was the only thing i looked forward to since the age of 13. i got very upset at one point (end of 2nd year of college) when i really realized that PMO accounted for a lot of social anxiety and unmotivation. I cut porn for a month and would masturbate probably once or twice each week in that month. i remember feeling a lot better, more talkative and just more whole as a person. i remember during the end of that month, i had great sex. I came home and was still very horny so i "relapsed". Still, my condition was not as bad as before. About 2-3 weeks after, i started PMO every other day and finally everyday to 2 times a day till today. Im sick of living an addict life and not feel my 100 percent self and feel like that is the only thing i look forward to. I am going to try my very best not to ever look at pornographic material, watch the master in progress (; i will try to update every couple days to a week and let you folks know whats up and whats down..........


Relapse is common, and reminds you that the old path just isn't worth it. Our forum/blogging is on reuniting. http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

SOOOOOO I'm 22 and unlike most people on this site I didn't begin masturbation in my early teens and I wasn't a late bloomer sex wise. I lost my virginity at 17. I started masterbating at 19 just to see what it was all about. So that basically triggered excessive masterbation for the next two years of my life leading to ED. Shorty after I realized I had ED I stumbled upon this site luckily lol. QUitting for me has been easy realizing I wouldn't be getting any more boners if I didn't. I got through the whole dead dick period so those of you experiencing that now, itll pass. I'm 8 weeks in with no PMO. 6 weeks of no MO (I wanked to a naked girl dancing online so it wasn't porn), and 2 weeks of no O. (I had sex a couple of times with a semi erection). So where I'm basically getting at is how long should it take me to return to 100% erections. I miss my pounding rock hard penis lol. I don't want to have anymore sex with these semi erections. I want the full thing. But I have girls who want to have sex with me and I've just been holding off until the time comes lol. Can someone please give me the typical waiting period between the semi erection and the almighty 100%!!!! I feel so close yet so far at the same time. I feel it may be coming but I have no idea when.

Now I have more details. There is no typical period, but since you started late I would expect you to have a quicker recovery. On the other hand, you experienced dead dick, which clearly indicates you developed and addiction.

This FAQ has everything we know about this subject, along with many ED recovery accounts.

What happens when you make out or have close contact with a women, WITHOUT the pressure of intercourse? You may have some anxiety now mixed in with desensitization.

1) Keep going on the reboot
2) Cultivate contact, snuggling smooching, without the pressure of intercourse.

Well when I make out or have close contact the most I get is the semi erection (enough for sex). My penis is definitly working. Just not at 100% Even cute text msgs from women erects it. I have occasional semi morning wood. Thanks for the response. I'm trying to be as patient as possible to be back to my old self. I attempted the whole cultivate snuggling and smooching and it's great but its so hard to not let it lead to sex. Guess I just have to try harder. And is it ok for me to fantasize about real girls I've been in real sexual situations with?


I imagine fantasizing about the real deal is fine, as long as you don't replay your favorite porn scenarios or fetishes.

I'm just a 14 year old, and I've been trying to give up porn since last year. I had relapsed several times, and I had lost all hope of ever beating it.(My friends were telling me that it was normal, etc.) BUT THEN, I came across your website! :) And I'm proud to say that I have beaten my previous record of 8 days without PMO, and today is my 13th day! :D I really have to thank you guys for this website! It really helped me to understand more about porn addiction and how to beat it.

I know that 13 days is practically nothing, but I know that if I continue my efforts, I can beat this addiction before it gets any worse. I also have a few questions I wanna ask, hope you'll answer them. :)

1) Recently, I had wet dreams on my 6th,10th and 12th night. My last wet dream was about me surfing my usual porn sites. IT WAS SO REAL!! I actually thought I had woken up in the middle of the night, got back my laptop, and was surfing for porn! THAT real! I could recognise some of the porn cause I used to visit those sites frequently. What does this mean? Is this a porn flashback!? This is the first time this has happened. (The previous two wet dreams were completely illogical.)

2) As you noticed, my wet dreams have been increasing in frequency. Is this normal?

3) I have only been using porn for about a year. Will my withdrawal symptoms be as severe as you guys? ( Who have been using porn for a few years?) I have felt most of the usual withdrawal symptoms.

I hope that I'm not the only teenage boy who's trying to quit porn at an early age. XD Anyways, thanks a lot and I hope my questions will be answered as soon as possible. Bye! :)

Congratulations. If you can get porn under control at your age, your life (your teens) will be so much better for it.

I strongly suggest reading our new poston the vulnerability of teen brains to addiction: Sexual brain training matters—especially during adolescence http://yourbrainonporn.com/why-shouldnt-johnny-watch-porn-if-he-likes

1) First, don't worry about wet dreams. Your goal is to stay away from porn. If have a few orgasms, no big deal since you are not dealing with ED. Porn dreams and flashbacks are normal and simply the way your brain processess through intense stimuli.

2) They can increase, then decrease, but I can't remember a 14 year old visiting this site - maybe a few 15-16 year olds. So we will see what happens.

3) My first inclination is to say no, but you will be educating us. Clearly you are not losing your libido, which usually happens to guys here.

I have seen 13-14 year olds quitting on other websites. We have briefly seen a few 15-16 year olds, and we are starting to see erectile dysfunction in a few 17-19 year olds.

It wasn't long ago that few 14 year olds used porn (maybe an occasional playboy), so don't worry about age.

If you want to post where all the action is - visit our real forum at http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

Thanks for the reply! It really helped. By the way, you mentioned that you've seen 13-14 year olds quitting on other websites. Do you know any of these other websites? ( I need all the help I can get!XD)

But it's just 13, 14 year olds asking for advice on how to beat their porn addictions. People post answers, which are often usless, and the threads are closed within a few days.

I just have to stopped by here and thank Gary and this site. I don't know if I'm quite back to 100%, but if it's not 100% then its somewhere in the 90% percentile. Guys be patient and strong, the reboot works!!! Friday will be 8 weeks for me. Don't know if that's what it will be for everyone but I went through the whole dead dick period and everything. During the process I had sex about 3 times. The 1st time being after the 4th week. Don't take my word for it but I don't believe intercourse slows down the process after a certain point. The next days after the sex sometimes my dick felt like it had gotten even better. Once again that's just me can't speak for others. I went the whole 8 weeks with no PMO. NO relapses. My only orgasms were from sex. Like I said don't know if I'm quite 100% yet, but this shit is GREAT!!!! I'm actually glad I went through this although it was hard. It freed me from porn and now I have an even higher appreciation for my penis and my erections. I love my penis like it was a person, maybe more lol!!!! ONce again thanks Gary!!!! I had to post this to give the guys going through it some hope!!!

We noticed that after a point orgasm with sex may not set one back, as it's important to rewire to a real partner. An occasional orgasm through sex seems to be less of a problem for men who masturbated, or had sex, for years prior to porn use. And of course, not masturbating or using porn is a really big help. By the way, how old are you?


I'm 22 and I was having sex years prior to developing ED. I did the PMO thing for a little over 2 years before i developed ED. As soon as I realized my equipment wasn't working correctly I started doing research and stumbled upon this sight and realized what was going on. That was approximately 10 wks ago. So I might Have had a small advantage over others being that I'm young, I didn't start that early and I didn't do it as long.

where men have sex or masturbate prior to heavy porn use. So you had already wired to the real thing before you got into porn, is that correct? The guys who start early with porn (same time they start masturbation) need longer to recover erectile health.

Are you saying you only use porn for 2 years before developing ED? Wow. I suspect we are about to see a tidal wave of youthful ED.

Well about 2 1/2. I started a few months before I turned 20, and stopped a couple months after turning 22. And yes I indeed was wired to the real thing. And I agree with you on that tidal wave approaching. Do you think you can explain to me why it was so easy for me to give up porn? I read about these other guys having withdrawals and wanting to look at porn during their reboot but forcing themselves to abstain. Since the moment I realized what was happening to me I have had no desire or urge to look at porn. It completely disappeared from my life. It wasn't even a struggle for me to stop. Why was it so hard for them but so easy for me?

1) You started porn at age 19

2) You were already wired to the real deal

3) Only used for 2.5 years

Many of the young guys with ED now developing started using around ages 11-12, when the brain is the most susceptible to addiction and malleable. Strong addiction pathways are formed. Think abou the difference between drinking everyday from age 11, compared to starting to party when you went away to college.

This article described the vulnerabilities of a adolescent brain.


Thanks for the additional info, it really lines up with what we are discovering.

I think I really slipped up here :(

So I got to 42 days without PMO yesterday, for the past week or two I've been able to get an erection from just thinking about getting an erection. To me this was pretty crazy since looking at endless amounts of porn a few months ago couldn't even stimulate me.

Definite progress, and getting some erections at night, but still no strong morning wood like the old days... Thats why I think I really slipped up here.

It got to the point were I couldn't really think of anything else but masturbating yesterday so while in the flat with my girlfriend, I gave in and we had sex.

It was good, entry was no problem as I was extremely aroused however almost immediately I was ready to ejaculate, very prematurely! Instead I just stopped for a few seconds and then started again. Even still, it didn't last long at all!

Afterwards I felt pretty down and had a slight headache.

Today, I slipped up again and masturbated. Didn't have any porn thoughts or flashbacks. Didn't have any thoughts really, but again I was able to get an errection without too much trouble and without any pornographic material to assist. Afterwards I've had a mild headache again.

I would say I'm definitely still not back to normal but I can't even remember what normal is. I'm a bit confused.

I came here because I am worried I have ruined all the good work I have done over the past 42 days. I'm not sure what to do next? Any guidence, advice or words of wisdom would be really welcomed.

Thanks again for creating this amazing resource :)


42 days is great, and from your description, you are well on your way back. The whole goal is to have normal sex, so I don't see what the problem is. Premature ejaculation would make sense, considering you have not ejaculated for 42 days.

You experienced the chaser effect, which as increase in cravings after orgasm - Do You Need a Chaser After Sex? http://yourbrainonporn.com/do-you-need-a-chaser-after-sex

But you did not use porn, so all is well. You probably need more time, so just continue on your reboot and see where it takes you.

On with the reboot then! :)

I relapsed and i'm trying to go at it again, but i don't know where to start or where to pick up the pieces. what frame of mind should i have now that i have relapsed ?


 Most everyone relapses, and usually several times. Recovering from an adiction usually means changing apsects of one's life. Do what you can to protect your computer  - Use Your Computer Effectively and Other Tips, try any suggestions under tools for change - including exercise, socializing, meditation.

 Frame of mind is to not use porn. That's all. Just keep going.

thank you imma keep trying and never give up


is it possible to start my reboot now even though i masturbated today ... is that a good idea ?


Just start by stopping - porn and masturbation. Addict think is: "I've messed up (masturbated, drank a beer, ate a candy), so I might as well continue". That's black and white thinking. Simply stop. And when you relpase, simply stop again. Your reward circuitry doesn't know "counting days", it only knows stimulation. Why stimulate even more? It only postpones your recovery.