It all started when I was 11, a friend of mine told me about fapping and how to do it. I tried and I’ll admit it felt good. I started watching porn a few months before it. I mostly played meet n fuck because my internet was slow and those videos would never load. I’d kill to play a meet n fuck game at that time.
I never had severe pied as I limited my self to mo w/o p once every 3 days. I started and only fapped 1 time a day but it quickly went from 1 to 2-3 times a day and I didn’t know the effect it would have on me. I tried to watch porn ever day. But my internet moved (and still does) at a slow pace. I found out the masturbation was forbidden in my religion so I wanted to get away from it… but I thought I could quit anytime. I tried to quit it a month after I found it was forbidden but I always thought “Just one more fap and after that I won’t do it again” Obviously that didn’t work out.
After a month or 3 months, I realised I was addicted to it. I never knew how people couldn’t get out of a simple drug addiction but now I’ve realised how hard it is. I started reading some wikihow articles as to how to quit mo or pmo. During this time I was riddled with social anxiety and a low self esteem. I thought I was a pathetic piece of shit my grades were dropping. I couldn’t talk to a girl. I would do idiotic things in class just to be popular and get attention. People laughed at me. This was when I was at the lowest in my life so far. I couldn’t get an erection as hard as I could due to masturbating three times a day. I read about how damaging it could be to the penis but I ignored it.
I cried and prayed to God to help me. I promised Him (rather foolishly) that I would quit my addiction. But I didn’t. It was always ” just one more time.” I always thought wiki how articles would help me but it didn’t it only helped me limit masturbation to once every 3 days but I just couldn’t kick on from there. It did help me gain morning wood and get an erection for 2-3 seconds while masturbating. I was losing faith because of this and thought “hey since I have no god anymore so why not do things that is forbidden?”
I knew at the time I only did it to PMO. After I would PMO I would seriously regret it and come back to my religion. This Cycle continued for three months. After a year of endless surfing on the web for different ways to get out of this addiction (except fasting) I found this site. It’s funny how I found it.
I was thinking ” hey I’ve tried everything why not this site?” At this point in time I was at the lowest in hope and thought that God wouldn’t help a piece of shit like me. But I prayed like anything at this point in time for God to help me and after a day or so. I found this site. I joined and I was new and went for 5 days nofap (this was before starting my journal) it wasn’t much but I knew I was making progress and now I knew that I will get out of this addiction because it was a rarity that I would go beyond 3 days of nofap.
I started a journal after reading some. Monkey’s journal en Journey to freedom’s journal have helped me a lot. I read articles from nofap solideo (I think) about our brain wanting porn and how to get out of it I’ll post the link later. It helped me. I then went 9 days nofap but I wasn’t dissapointed, I was proud of my achievement. I then went a short term without mo for 5 days because of me downloading a blowjob video.
And after that here I am after 30 days of nofap and my social anxiety is decreasing dramatically – if there is some, it’s only about 5-15 %. I can get a rock hard erection I my life again. Morning wood feels like steel. And right now typing this, semen is on the tip of my penis.
I’m leaving this site after another month or so because of a vein on my penis. That’s the only thing I want to eliminate now. It’s getting better and it is disappearing. During my PMO days I had a piece of skin that I took away from my self on my penis by fapping like anything. I use that now as a reminder of how the days were like when I fapped.
So the benefits
- Got better with anxiety
- Renewed confidence
- Spending less time procrastinating
- Erection I mean woah ! It really is like steal.
I’m going to be leaving this site after nofap November so it has been a great journey.
I would recommend Journey to Freedom’s journal I mean woah having sex with 12 different girls after nofap I mean waow motivated me tbh. And articles about dopamine and how urges come.
You can do it. If I can I’m sure you can as well.
IT CAN BE DONE
LINK - Success after 2 years of hoplessness.
DEUR - The Pakistani Guy
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