Hey almal,
AJB8487 here going on 90 days of my current reboot. I don’t want to bore you with my backstory, just that I had given up alcohol in August ’13 because I thought I was depending on it to make me feel better. When I gave up alcohol, I noticed my porn usage was increasing to the point where I had to use a death grip and my ejaculations were weak and sometimes non-existent post O. Even more troubling was my dissent into femdom porn on this one site. Femdom provided a rush to my brain and often it was like crack to me where I would spend an off day binging and spending hundreds of dollars on clip after clip. Usually when I was done I would be disgusted with myself and punch myself in the face. It was then when I heard about rebooting in November of last year and that’s when I decided to take the 90 day challenge.
To make a long story short, I failed and I failed often. I would hit a two week wall where I couldn’t get over the hump without relapsing. My confidence was at an all-time low, I hated my job, my skin was bad, I put on a lot of fat and I stayed cooped up in my room all day. Eventually, I got down to business and put on porn blocker on my laptop to where I couldn’t remove it without having to cut through a bunch of red tape. I was studying for the bar exam this summer which kept my mind occupied and I also resumed doing TKD and working out.
90 days later, I’ve lost 16 pounds, I tested for my black tip in TKD, I vacationed in CA and surfed for the first time, I’ve gained a ton of confidence and actually enjoy engaging in small talk with strangers. I find that more women are attracted to me now and I don’t get hung up on rejection on insecurity.
Advice that I would give to people struggling right now:
1.The first two weeks are going to be the worst but once you get past them it goes by a lot faster. The days start blending together. From day 45 to day 90 felt like it happened in just a few weeks.
2. Diet and exercise. Nothing feels better than self-improvement. When you start to lose weight and your clothes fit better it provides a surge of confidence and good feelings. That confidence you get from getting into good shape will help you succeed with your reboot.
3. Stoicism. When we’re stressed or depressed or anxious is when we tend to PMO. If you’re having a tough or stressful day, let your mind be unfettered. Smile, laugh, walk your dog. Learn to let it slide off of you and you’ll react less impulsively to stressful triggers.
4. Don’t flip out over wet dreams. I used to do so which would lead me back into my PMO habits. If you’re having a dream that you’re engaging in PMO and you have a wet dream, oh well. It’s nothing that you did consciously and you can’t control your body when you sleep. Shower off and focus on your day.
5. Try new things. While it’s good to stick to a routine you definitely want to inject some novelty into your life to satisfy your brain. Join a martial arts class, travel, try new foods, start up small talk with strangers, introduce yourself to that cute girl in your class (she won’t bite), raise a puppy.
Anyway, I’m glad to be at 90 days. People talk about the benefits you achieve when you reboot but what it comes down is gaining confidence that you can let go a habit that controls your life. And once you have that confidence you realize that there’s a lot of great you can accomplish.
Good luck to everyone here.
LINK - First post here: 90 Days Reached
By ajb8487
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