I’ve been struggling with MO addiction since childhood and with p since years now. My PMO habits have become increasingly bad for the six or seven previous years. I discovered r / Nofap a little bit more than a year ago, and while I’m definitely not free of it, I have been more and more conscious about myself, and what staying in a secluded room PMO’ing all day and night had done to me. During those past years, I really felt like life was worthless in general, and I thought of just simply ceasing to exist. Not planning a suicide, but entering a black hole of nothing. I was in a state that I understood later to be depression.
As I’m struggling with the cycle of “streaks” and relapses, the NoFap journey (I realize now it truly is a real journey) makes me keep going on, and makes me believe there is a better way of living, that there’s more to life than the secluded room I’m in, not only physically but also psychologically.
And those past months, I realized that my dark death thoughts were gone. They’ve progressively gone. Now, I’m not free of depression nor PMO, but I think it is a slow process. You really have to force yourself to do it. Your mind will resist but you’re stronger. I’ve begun to read motivational books and they really helped me build some confidence, I advise you all to read one. And I was really skeptical about them but I kept reading them, and honestly they’re worth your time and money.
As we see the end of 2016, my life is not all pink and bright. I’m not seeing the whole light at the end of the tunnel (sorry for the cliché) but it’s way brighter the whole difference is that I’m seeking the light at the end of the tunnel. And you know what? It’s freaking good!
Sterkte broers en susters.
Sorry for the novel, I didn’t thought it would be that long!
LINK - Nofap Victory story : no more suicidal thoughts 🙂
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