in my country we haven’t got too many information about that addiction. Most people think it is normal. So let’s begin. Right now, I’m 25. I don’t remember, when I’m started watch porn. Anyway, I think that it was like most people, about age 13 I guess? Obviously, I didn’t think about this subject in problem category. I thought – ‘everyone doing that, so come on’.
First mind about quit porn was 7 years ago, but it was too weak. Because I read many websites with ‘That is healthy, normal’.
Then I found reddit and it dawned on me! I read success stories and in ‘before section’ I read about myself! Wow, I’ve got the same shit! Finally, I found people who think exactly the same as my hidden mind in my brain. Anyway, at the beginning I had got 7-14 days without PMO maximum and… porn was more excited after that days, so I was still in addiction. Slowly, slowly I came back to old masturbation, so I didn’t do progress. Then I thought – ‘okay, so do that as many possible to associate porn and masturbation with sad’. I did. And 50 days ago (12 January) was my last one. I promised to myself that it was last time and the target is – one year and to be honest, I’m very confident that I will do this. Let’s start to explain what happened in my brain next days…
0-14 days It was ridicoulus time! I’ve got many situations, when I sat next to the PC, surfing internet and then I’ve got mind ‘In that time, you will usually watch porn’. I felt that my brain had got paralysis, really! In that case, I escaped to play video games. I didn’t meet friends because I didn’t feel normal.
15-30 days I felt decrease interesing porn. The mind that I’m clean was amazing. Increased interesing about mixed martial arts which resulted start training MMA two days per week. I was more socialize. I felt that I’m talking in another way with people. More confident, cleary mind… but still I did procrastination. Then, I started to read a books. I’ve done self-examination. But still I needed something…
30-35 days Do you remember video games? Yes, it is good way to forget porn, I agree. Anyway I caught myself that it is waste time! Let me explain. For example I had got target – today I will wash a car. I planned to do this in next few hours. Then I saw that my friend from the games is online, so rest of the day I played a video game. I watched many youtube videos of that games, when I was after work I thought about my level up in this game. Then I promised again – okay, maybe it is not big deal like PMO, but you cannot play everyday and you cannot surfing internet (mean trash sites) as well! So I started to play only at the weekend, maximum about 2-3 hours and it tastes much better!
35-50 days I woke up. I’ve got many free time! And it is fantastic that I invest this time to be more productive. That is combo! My MMA trainings are more conscientious and I started gym as well! But it was still too less. So I started to cooking healthy. My new gift after hard day is reading a book. I feeling natural power. No any excuse! I can’t imagine that I will comeback to porn addiction, there is no any reason. I don’t think about relapse, because actually it is my personal record and it will be difficult to start again. It is like I don’t know… starting smoke tobacco after age 18?
Right now – I’ve got just problem with meeting with a girls. That is effect from the last years, anyway I fell that I’m closer to handle this subject… so… Second part will happen I guess!
And honestly… thank you everyone to invest time to build this community. It is amazing. Thank you.
LINK - Target? One year. Today? 50 day.
By enjoythatway
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