Hi guys just found this sub and wanted to share my experience going through this some 7 year ago or so… Sorry for the long post.
All right, so, I’m a 37 years old straight man, and since I was 14-15, I was into porn, it gradually got “worst” with the internet until broadband made it extremely easy to find whatever porn you could take… I was not an introvert at all, had plenty of friends, partying a lot (I would say way too much) and generally was a social guy…
My problem was always with girls, I didn’t have a problem with girls liking me, they generally did, but then in my early 20s it happened for the first time, I was with a girl, everything was going fine, good bj, and Bam! Went flaccid just when I was going in… What an embarrassment of a moment, she was nice about it but the damage was done…
That was when it all started, the next few years I keep on trying with different girls but it was always the same thing over and over, I just kept saying to myself “you just have to go through this, this is just a trauma for that first time it happened” I kept partying and socializing, but this was a problem that affected me a lot more than I was showing to the outside world, I subconsciously and sometime not so subconsciously sabotaged several chances I had to have sex with some girls, everything fine but before I got to actual sex, I made some bullshit excuse to bail…
You can imagine all of this was not happening in a vacuum, my family knew something was off, and my friends also, I could hear the rumors, (“he’s gay”, “he’s impotent”) and one time I had a bad showing with a girl known to even my family and that was bad, she told some of the most gossiping people in that part of the family and that was the worst, people joking to me not so subtle about ED, Gay people, etc… I’m telling you it was some of the darkest days and nights I had to endure in my life… Somehow I kept hanging out with friends and family and even had some girlfriends with some dick pills help… but there was some really awful times in between, I felt like the unluckiest guy alive, I started to doubt my sexuality even when I didn’t really liked guys…
I can say this now with some calm, but I still feel I lost my best years ladies wise, I mean, were talking about my whole 20s, especially considering women kind of dig me in general, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be…
Now, in all those years I was constantly fapping whenever I had the chance, sometimes it was crazy, I mean 8-10 times in one day, I gradually watched more hardcore/crazy but stopped short of gay/trans stuff… And I never realized this was the root of most of my serious problems in life, I mean, it is sort of crazy how this addiction was affecting me in almost all aspects of my life and I never even realized it was even a problem…
Don’t really remember when or how, but I stumbled into a nofap forum board, then took to Google to investigate and it was such an eye opener… They were so many guys having such similar problems. I realized I finally found what was wrong with me, it was such an important time in my life, I mean, reading all that info, all the success stories, really, really change my life… I can’t thank all those guys that shared their experiences enough… It brings tears to my eyes even typing this right now several years later…
I won’t tell you it is easy at all, but as soon as I knew I found the cure and solution to the thing that made me feel that worthless for Soo many years, I took the resolve, not gonna lie, it was really tough, but I managed to succeed, and I can tell you it was 1000% worth it… Do not despair, if you relapse, try again until your success, just remember what you’re fighting for, and all the ways your life will improve…
I’m now “barely happily” married (that’s another story LOL) and with 2 gorgeous baby girls, and I can honestly say the nofap thing was the most important decision I ever made in my life.
For all of you guys needing some pep talk, I’m just trying to help with the thing that help me the most at that time, when it was a lot less mainstream idea, a success story…
Good luck and keep the good fight guys!
LINK - A success story for what it worth! (long post)
by papiclone
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