Dit is moeilik; wees trots op jouself

I have been through my personal journey for 103 days. During those days this is what I have learned:

1. THIS IS HARD – let’s start by stating that.

2. In order to succeed you must be 100% ready to make this change. If even 1% of you says you still want to look at it you will go back.

3. Relapses are blessings in disguise. If you really want to change you will learn from them by realizing triggers, using the shame as motivation and realizing how serious the problem really is.

4. Streaks are great but do not define your progress. What defines you progress is how much you have improved over your journey. If you have a 25 day streak and then relapse you still have been clean 25 out of 26 days. Be proud of that and use it to stay positive.

5. Look at the process as a lifelong journey not an end game. If you have the mindset that you have beaten this addiction once and for all chances are it will come back as bad as ever. You will never reach an endpoint in this process. You must constantly tell yourself I have a problem and must be on point for the rest of my life.

6. Triggers are EVERYWHERE and always will be. We are all triggered by different things but do whatever you can do get rid of them. For me this means no social media, no YouTube, no apps like Chive, Ebaums, etc., and I only use my phone for texting, calling and if I absolutely need to look something up. This keeps me off my phone and keeps temptations at bay.

7. Blockers serve as great reminders but will not fully solve your problem with this addiction. I set a family safe DNS at my router level (so any device that is all my WiFi is blocked from adult content) and set content restrictions on my phone. This has helped remind me if I’m straying down a path I don’t want to. However it is not a fail safe way of stopping this addiction and is only a band aid.

8. Be proud and pat yourself on the back for what you are doing. Literally billions of people around the world look at this content without any remorse or guilt. You are in the small % that wants to change for the best because you are a moral, strong person who wants the best for yourself, your loved ones and if you believe in it a higher power that has better plans for your life then looking at garbage on a screen.

9. Journal your progress daily or every other day. Writing out your feelings, emotions, triggers, prayers, etc can be great therapy and provide better insight on this process. This can be done on your phone or written in a notebook.

10. When you feel ready to fill your downtime in life with new productive activities. This is unique to all of us but remember the old saying “idle hands are the devils workshop”. Boredom leads to a mind that strays and an addicted mind that strays will stray towards the addiction. Keep your body and mind busy. Hobbies, house/yard work, immersing yourself in work can all help in staying away from your addiction.

Hope this helps those of you struggling with this addiction. Congrats to all of you for taking the step to combat this. It says a lot about you and the kind of person you are. My last tip – use the end of 2018 and the start of 2019 to motivate you. You can still end 2018 with a SOLID 18 PF days and carry that progress into 2019. Make a resolution to make 2019 the most PF year you have had since this addiction pulled you in. You have the choice, the power and the knowledge to make 2019 your best year ever!!!