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It’s a very natural instinct to want to be with as many women as possible in sexual way. The problem is that porn inflames and twists this function of our brain in a very ugly way. It gets out of conscious control and it’s turns into a frenzy.
I still have this urge inside me, but, it’s under conscious control. It’s like a slight tickling. I can control it and I choose not to think about other girls. I’m happy with only one girl.
During years of porn use as a teen, it was very, very different. The urge to have sex with every woman was absolutely out of my control. I just saw a girl and I was like, “I want her, right here, right now. I would cheat on my girl. I don’t care. My happiness lies in the girl I’m seeing, I want pleasure. This is the purpose of my life!”
It was like there was nothing more important in that. I was ultra fixated on that. And the more girls I saw, the crazier it got. I wanted them all, sexually. I couldn’t think normally. I was led by my twisted sexual neediness, and it was so strong that I couldn’t really communicate normally with a beautiful girl.
How to fix that? Time. I experienced such cravings even after I had stopped porn for a year. They were very strong.
Finally, I started to consciously change my thoughts. With the power of my will I reprogrammed my brain. I softened the effects.
Here’s my suggestion: When you see a girl and that feeling starts, just repeat to yourself that this is a deviation from your normal state. It is exaggerated. It is a promise of FALSE HAPPINESS. Even if you get the sex, you won’t be satisfied and happy. You will want as many women as there are on earth. You will always want more, and never feel completely satisfied.
When the feeling starts in you, you have to block it with will power. Do your best to see the woman as a human being. Next, try to get to know her as a human being. Try to turn her into a friend if you can, or any role that turns your attention away from sexual needs.
Also, if you have a girlfriend, repeat to yourself that all the pleasure you can get in the world is right in front of you—in your girlfriend. This is actually true. When your brain is back in balance, you will get everything you ever wanted from your girl alone. She’ll be completely enough; she’ll be everything for you.
But you have to do the exercise (to turn your thoughts) every time you see a nice girl and want to have sex with her. Every single time. You have to reach a point where you can just watch the girl and feel normally towards her, without the slightest sexual feeling. With time, you’ll teach your brain a new way of perceiving girls. With time (let’s say a year), your brain will be reprogrammed in a way that allows it to function the way nature planned it. That’s the best feeling you can have.
Remember, if you sleep with thousands of girls, you won’t feel happier. It’s one big illusion. Once you direct your desire toward one girl and want only her, you won’t feel any lack. You will feel very complete, without the sense that you are actually missing something. Right now you think, “If I’m only with my girl, I won’t get the pleasure from being with other girls. I’m actually missing that!!!” Well, you are not; it’s a big illusion. You are actually missing the most right now, by feeling constantly dissatisfied.
The pleasure I’m getting from my girlfriend is huge. There is so much lust combined with love that you cannot even imagine. I wouldn’t want to think about another girl. The fake pleasure I get from wanting other girls, or even if I had sex with them, cannot be compared to the real pleasure I get from my girl.
This is how I fixed myself, because this was a huge problem for me.
PS If you masturbate to porn memories, the inflamed instinct to get more girls is also likely to turn on. If you masturbate without turning on any porn networks, I suspect it won’t turn on.
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