Age 16 - I honestly have never felt this happy in my life. I feel like myself again.
I honestly really don't even know what to say right now. I'm super excited I've made it this far; I remember the days when I literally used to imagine and dream about this. I feel obligated to share my story and motives before getting into how NoFap has affected me.
I started NoFap about two years ago, the beginning of my freshman year of high school. I'd been PMOing since about the end of sixth grade. The dopamine addiction, combined with the side effect of depression from Accutane, really put me down into the dumps eighth grade year. I was constantly tired and didn't like talking to people because I thought it required too much effort. My grades started slipping. I became insecure and an asshole to the few friends I had. It was an all around bad time for me.
And then the summer before freshman year, I found this subreddit. I'd been looking to quit for a while because I knew PMO was a sin, but when I learned about all of the other side effects (being awkward, excessively tired, etc.), I was even more determined to quit. I wanted to shape myself into a better person, a person I wanted to be. Around May of my freshman year, I started a 105 day streak that I broke at the beginning of my sophomore year. I didn't feel great during this time, mostly because I didn't do anything to help myself and instead just assumed abstaining from PMO would automatically make me an extroverted, fun person. (Spoiler Alert: it doesn't).
I was off and on streaks my sophomore year, sometimes lasting a few days, sometimes a few weeks. I usually binged after each relapse and justified doing it again by telling myself "I didn't feel too bad today, one more binge can't hurt." It did. Midway through my sophomore year, an amazing girl started showing interest in me. I realized that maybe this was my chance: my chance to finally get somewhere with this. It was that day I vowed I wouldn't PMO again so that I could become a person she would want to be around. It seems like it was just last week when really it was 180 days ago.
Unfortunately, I still messed things with her up pretty bad. I was still seriously insecure, constantly worried my actions would make her think I was weird. So instead I was just timid and awkward, and let her make all the moves. She eventually got sick of it and moved on. This is one of the few things I actually regret (I'm big on everything happens for a reason and usually don't worry about the past). I feel like I never gave us a fair shot, and that still bothers me to this day.
However, instead of getting all depressed and relapsing when things ended, I instead got motivated. I was determined to never let something like that happen again, and focused on self-improvement over the summer. And that is one of the best decisions I've made in my entire life.
End of Story
I honestly have never felt this happy in my life. Not because I reached 180 days, but because I feel like myself again. I don't wake up in the morning and hate myself for what I did the day/night before. I don't go to school stressed about how awkward I'll be because I binged the night before. I don't walk around worrying about what others think because for the first time in six years, I'm confident in myself. I love how I look and the person I've become, and I really just can't put into words how great of a feeling that is.
Please fapstronauts, if you're considering relapsing right now, or ever, believe me when I say that it is not worth it. I wouldn't trade what the NoFap journey has given me for anything, especially not 5 minutes of PMO. The journey here wasn't easy. I went through my strong urges and flatlands and struggles. But the journey was worth it. Every little bit. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you can reach it.
My final bits of advice: don't assume that if you don't feel amazing at 90 days that it was all a waste. I didn't start feeling happy until around day 130. If you've been addicted for a while, you're reboot is going to take longer. Hand in hand with that, NoFap alone won't shape you into the person you want. You will. Work on self-improvement during your journey. Branch out and meet new people. Start working out. Take chances. You might fall a few times, but that's all part of the process. What matters is that you get back up.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Stay strong guys. Feel free to ask any questions you may have!
TL;DR - Day 163, life is a million times better than before, read below for details. AMA
Hey guys, checking in on day 163 here (woohoo!) NoFap has been one hell of a ride so far, and I can't help but hope it continues to stay just as exciting in the future.
Partaking in the NoFap challenge and abstaining from PMO is honestly one of the best decisions I've made in my life. It's given me my life back. Or should I say given me a life in the first place. For the last four years, I really haven't had one. My only woman was my xbox, and my children were my games. Now, I'm honestly the happiest I've been in years. I'm not really good at transitioning ideas, so I'm just gonna list all of the amazing things that have happened throughout my journey below.
I 100% truly enjoy being social now. Hanging out with friends isn't something I guilt myself into once every couple months because I feel like a loser sitting alone by myself all day, every day. Instead of coming up with excuses to avoid hanging out with "friends" (I put that in quotes because I must have been a pretty shitty one), I'm constantly looking for opportunities to meet up with someone and do something.
I'm happy with myself and love myself. I no longer wake up each day hating myself for what I had done the day before. I don't wake up thinking "Man, this day is gonna suck since I binged yesterday". I don't wake up stressed, worrying how I'm going to fuck up a conversation or be extremely awkward. And it's an amazing feeling to feel at ease and be confident in myself, and I feel like I can't emphasize how great this feeling is enough. This alone is more than enough incentive to keep me going, no matter how hard the going gets.
My Brain Fog is completely gone. I never realized how distracting and annoying the brain fog was until it was gone. Having a clear mind is another thing I feel like I can't talk up enough; being able to go through a day and focus and each and every thing, no matter how big or small, is really amazing.
Making conversation is a million times easier. I've learned to accept myself for who I am, and have come to terms with the fact that not everyone will find my sense of humor funny, or topics I find interesting interesting as well, etc. Not everyone is going to like the same things as you, your sense of humor, or your personality, and that's okay. Don't change for them. Once I realized this, conversation just became so much easier. I stopped worrying about if they'll think what I'm saying is weird or boring and just said it.
I've become less awkward. This kind of goes along with the converstion topic. Overall, I've noticed that I've become so much less awkward. Do I still get a little nervous when meeting new people? Of course. But now, instead of sitting in awkward silence, I can make conversation, show interest, and act friendly, which is really exciting. I still have issues with holding eye contact, which I'm working on, but other than that I've come such a long way regarding social skills.
My work ethic has greatly improved. Instead of struggling through work with brain fog, and eventually giving into temptation and fapping, I can now buckle down and get my shit done.
I'd also like to say that not all of this had happened by the 90 day mark. I probably started seeing a lot of major improvements around the 130 day mark. So be aware that 90 isn't some magic number where all of a sudden all of your problems disappear; it's a slow process, and sometimes takes longer than 90 days.
I'm sure there's so much more I could say, but it's 2AM and I'm tired. Thanks for reading this post, and if you have any questions at all feel free to ask away!
Stay strong everyone. As I said above, NoFap is truly one of the best decisions I've made in my entire worth. Stick with this, as the rewards are most definitely worth the struggles along the way.
460 days ago, I lost the girl of my dreams because I was awkward, not confident, and not happy with myself. When I lost her, I used it as motivation to improve myself. After a year full of struggle, disappointment, dedication, motivation, other romances, and perseverance, we're now back together, dating, and I just lost my virginity to her.
Guys, I was at all time low when I started this streak. I woke up every morning dreading the day to come, angry at myself for fapping the night before even though I knew the consequences, and scared of the social interactions I would have. One day I took a look in the mirror and decided that I was going to live like this anymore. That I was going to become a person not only a significant could be proud of, but that I could be proud of. And that's what I've done. And you can do it too. Never give up hope fellow fapstronauts. You are not weak. You are strong.
And one piece of advice: be yourself. Always. Don't worry about what others think. For every one person who may not like you, there are five people out there that will love the real you if given the chance to see it.