Age 18 - Came out of my shell, finally able to have a girlfriend
Well, I finally made it, and like all of you already know, it was not easy. Like most, PMO was a cycle that started when I was pretty young, and because of that, it was incredibly hard to stop. As the years went by, I felt less and less guilty about this "habit" - everyone does it right? That's where I have to thank this sub-reddit; I was exposed to the truth, a truth that only a real man can comprehend and learn to accept - that these "harmless" series of videos were ultimately a huge factor into why I couldn't look people in the eye, why I always kept my head down, and why I was so damn nervous with girls. Not anymore.
Since starting this long journey, so many aspects of my life have changed (I'm turning 19)
- For starters, I lost a decent amount of weight which definitely improved my self-confidence (exercise and no fap should go hand-in-hand).
- I don't have that "feeling" anymore - like I was always guilty of something, like that feeling of just shame and wanting to hide from everyone.
- I'm more "me" - with every fap, a piece of who I am would be chipped off. But when I finally stopped, I found myself again, and people took notice. Some of my friends even straight up told me that I was different, that I was coming out of my shell, and I knew they were right.
- "Firsts" - These past few months of being fap free treated me extremely well, which I can say mainly because of all the firsts I've had. Before starting, I had never even kissed a girl before; just a series of friendzones and crushes who I never had the courage to talk to myself. But after a few days into my 90+ streak (definitely not my first attempt btw), I did something I never would have done: I told her I liked her. She never expected me to just flat out say it, and she later told me that I was one of the few guys who had "the balls to be a man" (her words). And so now, I'm a few months in my first relationship, and she's amazing. And living a fap free lifestyle, I noticed that I actually want to listen to her, to talk to her, and that I actually cared about her; no-fap taught me to stop putting women on this pedestal, and glorifying them as objects of pleasure. Also, having a girlfriend made no-fap 100x easier (I mean, I was still on "hard mode" most of my 90 day voyage) because my urge to better myself became so much stronger; It wasn't just about me anymore, I wanted to be a better man for not just me, but for her.
For all you doubters, all I can tell you is that no fap works only if you make it work. And as someone's who's been here for a few months, I agree when most people say that it's not a magical cure; it's a lifestyle change, which helps us return to our former selves. So give it a chance, and I'm sure things will change for the better.
Thank you for everything, I only hope more people can understand where we're coming from. Peace out
TL;DR No fap was possibly one of the best experiences of my life, but only because I made it so.
- I am more confident in who I am, and I can look myself in the mirror without that feeling of shame
- I'm happily in a relationship with a girl I would have never had to the courage to talk to without no-fap.
Try it, you will see results. Fight the good fight brothers/sisters.
My fellow men,
I need your help. I posted here awhile back reporting that I finished the 90 day challenge, and I about how happy and how much of a difference this community made me. That seems like years ago, because now, I'm sad to say that I've been pulled back, and its been so hard to stop. It all started when I completed 90 days and thought it was okay to "clear my systems" myself, but ever since than (note that it was an intentional relapse because things were starting to hurt down there), the "chaser effect" ( i think that's what it's called) hasn't gone away. I feel like I'm back to where I started: I can barely go a week sometimes, my motivation has disappeared, and what's worse, it's literally killing my relationship with my girlfriend She even told me I changed! That I've become more selfish, and that I care less.
Any words of advice would be appreciated, it would mean the world at this point.
TL;DR I'm back to where I started, and I really need help getting back on track.