Age 18 - How I kicked FemDom addiction for good

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MothI had been watching femdom videos since I was 11, or 12. First it started as a simple foot fetish (something I still probably have, and don't really care), so you couldn't imagine my happiness when I found foot fetish videos on Youtube. And of course, most of those foot fetish videos have a component of female domination, or are completely based on it. That's when it started.

Soon after, it was the only kind of porn I was watching. Nothing else turned me on, and by it, I mean "normal" porn. Intercourse wasn't arousing at all. Of course, being so young, and different from others, I was desperate to "get rid of" my fetishes, but that didn't keep me from watching my kind of porn, because it was the only thing that really aroused me.

And then ... I drifted into more extreme kind. First it was humiliation, spitting, then golden showers, and finally, SCAT porn. Even foot fetish videos didn't do it that much for me anymore. At first I was disgusted at myself, tried to stay away from it, but I would eventually relapse every time. Even the thoughts of becoming a toilet slave crossed my mind.

I tried to abstain from that kind of porn a few times, and the closest I got was about 1 month. Then I would just "check" if it still turned me on. BIG MISTAKE. DON'T DO IT. It was the cause of every single relapse that I had.

Also being into pick-up, I know that many, many girls are turned on by male dominance, but how could I do that, when I wanted girls to shit in my mouth? It was a component that helped me gain my motivation, but the biggest of them all is HOPE. When I read these materials on how porn can change your brain's wiring and make you drift into more extreme kind, something clicked in my brain, and I had hope that my femdom fantasies are all artificial. I was right.

Since then it's been about 2 months and so far it's a success. I had many urges to watch it during 1st month, but every time I reminded myself of why I was doing this, and what will happen if I relapsed, and it kept me going.

Tonight I masturbated to "regular" sex porn, and the level of arousal was nearly the same as with scat crap before. Then I checked femdom porn again, to see levels of arousal, and got only a mild reaction. (I know I said don't do it, but at this point I was sure 100% that I had complete control of my actions, and that relapse wasn't an option. Don't do it for 2 months at least.) Then I closed my femdom tab, sure that I will never check that crap again.  :)

Oh yes, almost forgot, real girls' touch, smell, sometimes even holding intense eye contact, can get me hard now. Something that was COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE before.

I hope I can inspire someone with a similar situation, because, please, if you are a male and have femdom fantasies, unless you are 100% sure that being a slave would make you happy, don't do it!! It's not how nature made you. Try this for a few months(2 at least), and if you don't like the results, you can always go back to your porn/dominatrix.

LINK - Age 18 - How I kicked FEMDOM addiction for good

BY - NewHope972


 

UPDATE - 20 MONTHS LATER: Re: Screw#Femdom [Open Group]

Oh well ...

I slipped yesterday. Masturbated to femdom 3x in a row. I had urges to do so today as well, and normally I would, since I feel like I "failed", and should reset the reboot, but I decided not to binge. No giving up.

Again tho, I had thoughts .. why me??? Why did I have to aquire this shitty sexual taste that statistically I was unlikely to get. And it's mostly the reason why I was unsuccessful with girls throughout my whole life, while most of my friends enjoy satisfying relationships. Sometimes I hate being this way honestly, and want to give up hope that it will ever go away. But if I do, I'm done. So the journey goes on, die hard or keep trying.

Comments

....Why deny yourself "foot fetish" and SCAT pornography? That's "healthy" and "who you really are". You're just "sexually repressing your true nature".

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

It's so funny how crazy and just RANDOM these sexual fetishes are....and yet the pop sexologist and the media tell people that that's "natural" and if you don't watch it you're "repressing your true nature", etc., etc.

I don't think any human being evolved to ejaculate into feet. And yet we're told that this is "perfectly healthy". Being removed from this pornography now, I can see plainly how absurd it is. And yet, just two years ago, I was very much like this guy. Sometimes, I almost believed the lies that this was "expressing my true nature" and it was "healthy".

I was addicted to the same porn as you not scat but femdom and humiliation with feet and all that nasty stuff, im free of that now for 2 month, im on da6 64. I can feel my true sexuality coming back but real slowly, but surely ;). I recently about 7 months ago went 110 days pmo free then relapsed but now i'm good on that.

I've never been able to kick it so far, with just a "I promise to myself that I wont ever do that again." statement.
Its as if, when it wants to, the fetish could disable the other, thinking parts of my brain, and get me to feed it.

I wont go into details on my fetishes, but it was bad. I would wake up thinking about it. I would have a hard time staying off PMO for even a couple of days. My married life was suffering. I was feeling like a fraudster in my life. I could not even look at a picture of any spiritual figure without remorse. I would be late to work because of it. It was taking over my life. Any time something good happened in my life, I'd feel like I dont really deserve it.

I once went to a very spiritual place in India. Just being there felt so peaceful and meaningful. It deeply moved me and I was off of PMO and fetishes for about 2 weeks. I then relapsed. I now believe that this was because there was nothing on-going to keep the jug of spirituality filled.

Now, I'm happy to announce that I now believe that I'm rid of it for good. I went to this 3 day spiritual event, which included a self-realization process. They also have opportunities for continued participation via internet based video conferences everyday. There's also spiritual activities I've been assigned to do every day, at prescribed times of the day including when I wake up. There's also boat loads of literature to read. The best part of this training is that they give a meaning to why my life was that way and why I did what I did. There's also simple rules to live by for the rest of my life. The daily spiritual activities are developing a second identity for me (my awareness of my Self). This identity is getting stronger than my vague worldly identity I know by my name. In computer terms, its like a monitoring/auditing process that runs in parallel with activity processes. It was only there when I was doing the spiritual recitations at first. Now, its there all the time. Its a new kind of awareness that wont turn off and wont let other stupid things turn on. It is simply amazing. I did not even get my usual triggers for days. After many days, I recognized a trigger, but I was able to just see it as a relic of the past, so weak and I just smiled at it. I've erased much of the triggers by using the same chair for my spiritual activities now as I used to use for PMO before. It is just so amazing.
I'm feeling my previous smarts and goodness in life coming back. I'm feeling authentic when I hug my wife. It has been a few weeks now. My previous normal feelings are coming back. I think I will be completely trigger free soon. I dont see any chance of a relapse. I wont do stupid things like go to those websites to see how strong I am, of course. I only came here to help somoone else with my words if possible.
I am deleting my email address that I used to use for the stupid life.
I will only be coming back here if I relapse. So, I wont see your replies to this probably.

If you want to do what I did, find a spiritual program that does all of this:
It is something you believe in and can be passionate about.
Helps you understand what happened.
Helps you understand who you are.
Helps you with enough daily spiritual activities and contact, to keep you occupied for the few weeks it takes for the triggers to subside.
Is connected to the rest of your daily life.
Has enough literature, etc to last a long time.
Something that is possible. Not so hard that you wont be able to continue it for long.

Some examples are:
Eckert Tolle has some programs. He is one of the masters who has realized his soul.
Deepak Chopra may have some things going on. He's controversial but does speak a lot of sense, sometimes over my head.
I am sure there are many great things in Christianity in your town if you are in the USA or Europe.
There are some Indian organizations such as Dada Bhagwan dot org. This is the one I was blessed with. I did this in the USA. Note though, that these Indian ones may have some hurdles such as bad English grammar, strange accent, people with a different culture, etc and you have to be ready to take all those hurdles in your stride to keep going in the right direction. If you are able to do this, it is worth it, since the Indians are the original masters of Self realization. BTW, I was able to do this one for free. (Just cost me transport and hotel costs.) If you do this one, try to do it outside of India, simply because its easier to connect with the guru when there are fewer people (a couple hundred) attending each program rather than the thousands who attend each program when it is held in India.
You can of course, try a psychologist.

All the best, my dear friends. I know what you are going thru.
If your time to fix it has come, you'll start this journey to fix it and succeed.
Else, try again, perhaps with a different approach.

I kicked it. I just needed a strong enough spiritual presence.

"When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears." So glad you found your path. Congratulations on your progress. We'll share your story on the front page to benefit others.

How old are you?