Age 18 - I am both amazed and shocked with the life improvement I've seen
93 days ago I was thinking about day 90, and how nice it would be to be totally reset and then go back to fapping.
Today, on day 93 all I am thinking about is earning my purple star, then my rocket ship in 272 days. I am both amazed and shocked with the life improvement I've seen from just looking up from my screen and taking away something I'd been doing for 5 years. I never realized how much time it swallowed, and what kind of person it made me. It's made me the guy who when people pick on others for watching too much porn, or me, I don't feel bad, because I don't watch or MO. it's made me realize how great life is and there is so much more out there to do.
tldr; the only person whose going to live your life is you, so stop living it watching porn
INITIAL POST - My story, finally. (Criticism and responses welcome)
I am 18 years old, and I am a PMO addict (yes, both). They both have always been a greater pleasure to me than any drug or high ever could. The dopamine rush of P has always been unbeatable, and the self satisfaction of MO has always been amazing. But I always feel dirty. Self ashamed. Depressed, even. Once the good feelings gone, what's left? Nothing. Not a single thing. Just emptiness and shame. When I started this I didn't want to admit I was an addict, just attempting at willpower. But this has made me realize not just my addiction to MO, but my addiction to P. As someone whose been watching P since age 12, and MO since age 13, I'm already a hardened addict. And it's SO early in my life. When I first quit about the first week. It was so easy. The second week was ok. Now I'm on the third week and I recently got a concussion, so there is literally nothing for me to do, and it is SO HARD NOT TO LOOK. It's like everyday is just a tear down battle between my mind and dick. And I've been reaping the benefits of confidence and self care, but it doesn't really stop me. At all. I still desperately urge for PMO. even though I have been interacting way better with women, enjoying life more, finding new hobbies, working out more avidly, I just keep wanting to. I'm on hard mode for now, I'd like a full reboot to hopefully rid me of this severe addiction. I've always only had sexualized and broken relationships. And I hope. I really really hope this will change that. I suppose I've flatlined, because I used to be really gung-ho about NoFap, but recently I've had less enthusiasm.