Age 18 - I feel happier than I ever have in my life.
Warning.. wall of text follows! Read it if you want, I would appreciate it if you did!
130 days later, I feel happier than I ever have in my life. That’s rather easy to say though, being that I’m only 18 years old and freshman in college. Life is just simpler it seems. No matter how stressed or frustrated I get, I almost always end the day with a smile on my face and am proud of what I did in that day (even if it was completely unproductive).
I think one of the important things to remember as we go along this journey is that none of us are better than the rest. Sure, I may have 130 days and you currently reading this may only have 4, but I am no better than you. I am still tempted; I still keep my guard up. We struggle with the same things here. We must always remember that pride comes before the fall. As soon as we think ourselves above the rest of the people on this planet, we fail as a people. We are all humans; we all make our own mistakes.
Anyways, I honestly feel as if I am a new person after these 130 days. Sure I have tough days, but then again, who doesn’t? Any normal human being is going to have a broad range of terrible days and great days. I am happier and life seems more fulfilling now. Sure there is this huge argument that continues on in the subreddit about “super powers” and whatnot, but I truly believe they are what you make them. If you start this journey with quitting PMO and only that goal, you won’t see a ton of change in yourself. If you start this journey with the desire to quit PMO AND start going to the gym and continue with both of those things, chances are you’re going to see a big change. For example, I decided to work on my social life and also pick up a hobby. I set a goal to get better at maintaining eye contact and just be more sociable in general. I would smile at people when they would walk by, and they would actually smile back. No. Way. It was something completely new to me! And as I continued on with these goals I found it easier and easier to start a conversation with a random person and stay honestly intrigued and interested. As for a hobby, I started tinkering around with an arduino board and building random stuff (r/arduino for those that want to check it out).
One thing I’ve learned is that this journey is ten times easier if you can tell people about what you’re struggling with. I know it may be difficult at first, but telling someone you trust can help immensely in this journey. They can keep you accountable and keep you in their thoughts. It also helps to have a motto by which you wish to live by on your journey, or maybe even a Bible verse like I had. For example, the verse I chose was Romans 6:18. The verse states, “You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.” I believe that his applies to those that may not believe in Christ or any religion at all. The underlying point is that we are all free from what bound us down before; we are now slaves to better living, a better life on this journey away from PMO. It may sound cheesy or cliché, but it helped me a lot on my way to where I’m at now.
I figured it’d help if I gave some tips as to what help me along on my journey, maybe they can help some of you guys too.
• Spend minimal time on the internet (especially reddit, well r/nofap is okay on a regular basis I guess). As difficult as it may sound, reddit really isn’t the best place to be when trying to stop looking at porn (you and I both know it, stop trying to justify it like I did!)
• If you’re feeling tempted, stop and stare at a blank spot on a wall. Drop everything you’re doing, and just stare at the spot you chose. Take 5 deep, long breaths, and just empty your mind. This helped me more times than I can count.
• If at all possible, spend minimal time on your phone too. Personally, (this may not pertain to some of you) my phone was one of my main sources to watch porn, and occasionally I would just have to set it down and walk away.
• Take every opportunity that you can to hang out with friends/family. The more time you spend busy and not alone, the better! This obviously also helps the social aspect too.
• Keep your motto, mantra, verse, etc. at hand as much as possible. Write it down, make it your wallpaper on your phone or computer, just make it visible. Personally, I had Romans 6:18 made into a bracelet that I’ve worn since about day 25.
• Don’t put yourself in a place where you can fall into temptation or relapse. Oh, no ones home? How about you just get up and go for a little walk or just leave your computer behind in a separate room. Do whatever you can until you feel strong enough to be alone with your computer.
• Focus on something else besides just PMO. Like I said before, don’t just go on this journey to break your PMO habit. Add a good habit, like going to the gym or just walking or jogging daily. Learn to play an instrument you’ve always wanted to play, learn to draw or paint. Find a hobby! Or go out with friend and meet a girl to call your own. (Don’t stress about meeting someone, I still haven’t, this thing doesn’t make you a magical babe magnet)
• You’re going to change, whether it be physically, mentally, or even socially. Your brain is practically being reset physically and chemically inside of your head, expect some changes. Most of the time, they’ll be good, but you will have your rough days.
• Remain confident that what you’re doing is right, no matter what. As soon as your morals begin to sway and become weak, you will fall. Quitting PMO is proven to be good for you mentally and physically. You have absolutely ZERO reason to justify that PMO is good for you. (Really, it doesn’t help you fall asleep quicker right before bed, you and I both know that’s just a ruse)
• Chances are you might become more confident as your numbers rack up on your badge. Use that confidence! Focus it into something good. Use it to talk to strangers, smile at that girl that you always see and see if she smiles back (she most likely will).
• ALWAYS remember that you are not alone in this endeavor, and you are no better than the rest of the world. Just as I covered earlier, you may be confident in what you’ve done, but don’t confuse confidence and pride. One is great, the other not so much.
• Enjoy life; after all, we only live once (not yolo, don’t go kill yourself doing something stupid please) But its true, take some little risks with your newfound confidence. Ask that girl out that you’ve been talking to. Go with your friends to that social event that you would have been absolutely terrified to go to before. Just don’t sit on the couch and play video games all day and then wonder why you aren’t seeing a change in your life.
• Remember that you are you. Ultimately, you will most likely not have the same outcomes that I or anyone else on the subreddit has had. Your outcome will be different than everyone else’s, but I guarantee it will be positive if you put effort in and pick up something else (hobby, gym, good stuff) instead of continuing with your PMO lifestyle.
In the end, your journey will be different than mine. I guarantee that if you put the effort in and really try quitting PMO, you will see a positive outcome. Don’t half-ass this, it isn’t a joke anymore. We all know the negative effects that can come from being addicted to the PMO lifestyle, now how about you go out and find out the positive effects that will occur if you quit it?
If you want to talk privately, I’m more than willing to help. Just PM me!
Thanks for reading, you guys have helped a ton.
LINK - 130 Day Report