Age 18 - I have the motivation of a god. I can do anything if I want to
I've successfully completed 90 days of the NoFap challenge on hard mode! I'd like to share my 90-day success story, along with my thoughts, tips, and overall feelings. And as for the title, yes, I do have the motivation and willpower of a God. I'll get to that under "Motivation". Also, I'm sorry, this is quite lengthy, hehe.
Background: 18 year old white male, 5'11", ~185 pounds, who grew up outside of Cleveland, Ohio, and now in a first-year engineering student in college. Started watching porn at the age of 14, masturbating at either 15-16. I would masturbate anywhere from 3-5 times a week, but at bad times, once, sometimes even twice a day. I grew up in a mostly stable and loving family that has comparatively few problems. As far as I am aware, they do not know of my endeavor to permanently quit masturbation. I have friends, but not yet here in college.
Motivation: This is the best part (to me) of NoFap. I was motivated to do ANYTHING! I HAVE THE MOTIVATION OF A GOD. I CAN DO ANYTHING IF I WANT TO. I started running (doing C25K, last day of it is TONIGHT, so I'm running a 5k tonight!) around Day 25, and along with that running, eating a diet that would help me lose weight (I was obese when I was <16, lost alot, now pretty good but could use 10-15 pounds off.) started lifting weights around day 60 at the college gym, started taking cold showers on day 67, but best, even better than all those, is what NoFap did to my motivation to do schoolwork. It's incredible. These no assignment that I fear or that I procrastinate on. Everything gets done on time. Previously, schoolwork would wait for the last minute and be done half-assed, even worse, not done at all. Even worse than that, I didn't care! Now its not even a problem. The motivation can also be seen when I'm running. On my previous attempt at C25K, I was still fapping and I didn't complete the program. I didn't have the motivation or energy. Now, I can jog 20-25 minutes WITHOUT STOPPING! Which, for some of you might not be much, but to me, that is absolutely fantastic.
Girls: There's a catch for everything, and this is mine. My experience with girls hasn't really improved at all. I am a virgin with a total or 0 girlfriends and 2 kisses to my name. Girls have always been difficult for me. Some of it may be due to a mild/moderate case of Asperger's Syndrome, but other than that, its on me. NoFap has not helped with this one bit. I'm still nervous. I'm still EXTREMELY quiet and non-social. I'm still really dull and uninteresting. All of these are magnified around girls. I tried to make a girl-friend here at college. Hell, I even asked her on a date (which I can't say I've done before). She was sick and didn't reschedule or make any effort to go again so I'm taking it as a rejection. So be it.
Flatlines: A major one hit me at around days 50-65. It really was awful. I had felt like I did pre-NoFap: no energy, no sex-drive, slight depression. It was magnified because this was my first two weeks in college and I was already extremely stressed and nervous. That girl I mentioned previously, all that interaction was during this flatline, so that may have played a role in how that turned out. Flatlines suck everyone, but it's an important part of the process and it feels great when you finally break free of it.
Hard Mode: I did hard mode, semi-voluntarily. I did not have a girlfriend, however, I am a virgin until marriage so it is a moot point. Anyways, I'm no scientist, I'm no genius, and I'm certainly wrong alot, but it is my belief to to get the fullest experience out of NoFap, hard mode must be done for at least the first 90 days. It really opens your mind to the world that is. Women become more beautiful, emotions become more emotional, and the concept of sex is better cleared from your mind. However, I do not discredit those who do not do hard mode. What you are doing is still remarkable; You are still fighting PMO addiction, you are still wanting to better your life, and you still are trying to show the world the evils of porn, the porn industry, and masturbation. So kudos on all of you, every single one of you.
Filters/Prevention: I did not use any form of filtering or protection on either my phone or Laptop. While I think things such as K9 are great for a starter, I feel that (once again, for me) I learned a better lesson by not blocking it. It was there, I had to resist temptation, and that bettered me in a NoFap sense, a person sense, and a Christian sense. Plus, there's ALWAYS a way around it.
Superpowers: They exist. I'm not sure that "superpowers" is an completely accurate word to describe it, but nonetheless, they exist. There are many positive traits that come from this challenge, and sometimes, they feel like superpowers. More than likely they're just things that your normal self could have been enjoying before you and I wasted all those years pleasuring ourselves to 1s and 0s. My big superpower was motivation, as told above. I never was a motivated person before but now my energy seems to be endless. Some people might get different superpowers, such as with the ladies or with their ED or what not, or some might get like a super high feeling all the time, great!
Porn/Masturbation: Contrary to the popular belief around here, I found masturbation to be much more detrimental to me than porn. This maybe have been because the porn I did watch was far from graphic in nature. Honestly, I can't even say I've seen two people have sex, so I fortunately did not head down that road to scary places. I do have a problem with porn. It's degrading on BOTH sides, it's shameful, it's FAKE, its IMMORAL, and in some cases, absolutely disgusting. So don't get me wrong, I find porn really bad. My problem, though, was masturbation, and I really have a problem with it too. It made me tired. It made me feel gross after. It was false pleasure. It was immoral. It was flat out wrong, bad, and it took away from my life. I was constantly in a rut; a haze. It dulled all of my emotions. While doing it, I never thought it was having such a big impact on my life but now that I look back on it, its crazy how lame it made me feel, and how lame it made my life.
ED/PIED/DE: Can't say much about these because I've never had an issue with any. It is my belief that my extreme lack of physical contact with girls keeps me from getting anything like this. Even a hug from a girl is enough and that's how its always been. To those struggling with this, good luck to you as well. What a horrible thing to have and I hope you can fix it.
Future Plans: I plan to keep going for the rest of my life. Masturbation has not provided me anything positive. It has only kept me from reaching things that are positive in my life, such as having more time and energy to play and get better at guitar, do schoolwork, or even just more free time to enjoy my favorite video games. I don't want to lose that.
Some Tips: (Disclaimer: these are what worked for me and may not work for everyone)
- Tell anyone who you feel comfortable with telling: My family would have been a bit awkward, so I didn't tell them. But, most of my friends know. All of my Reddit friends know. That was, they can help me be accountable. It helps keep my focus on it as well. Plus, telling people you're going to do something or actually doing something helps (me, not everyone) actually keep doing it.
- Keep NoFap around: /r/NoFap is my computer home page. I keep some of the motivational quotes posted here on my phone. I tell people when I reach a certain milestone in days. I participate in the threads here. I think about not fapping alot. I keep a calender on my phone set with milestone dates. Point is, keep NoFap in mind. This will help show its significance to you, especially if you're just starting out.
- No technology in or right before bed: Not only will this help you sleep, it will keep you from looking at anything you shouldn't be looking at. I go to bed at the same time every weeknight, and half an hour before I do, I put away my phone and laptop, barring that I don't have any schoolwork to do.
- Don't click that link: You know what I'm getting at. You're browsing one of your favorite subreddits and all the suddent a NSFW link pops up in the comments. You know what it is, you really want to click it, but you know better, right? Don't click on it. It's not worth risking a relapse. That picture is still 1s and 0s, not a real person. Don't do it.
Conclusion: Did 90 days on hard mode. Totally worth it and and I plan to continue on for the time being. I hope that this helped someone and is not just be babbling. The main superpowers I got were motivation and energy, along with a clearer mind. Next up, 180 days!
Thanks for reading,