Age 20 - 250 days: My hero is myself in 10 years.
So I'm posting my story due to my (relatively) small success on my other post entitled why. I won't get super into detail like where I'm from what I did yesterday, but enough to relate to you and so I can show you how far I've come.
So I'm 20 years old now, I started fapping in... junior high? Well porn in general and was on and off until now. When I first started this, I blazed every day, had failed school, hadn't even talked to a girl properly in a while and had no job. I remember I had spent that New Year just watching Netflix on my friend's couch. Not a pretty picture.
Anyways, like most people on reddit I stumbled upon this. I watched yourbrainonporn and a lot of it resonated with me. The whole dopamine thing and really just reading other posts that say life gets better, I'm more confident etc.
My first streak was... almost 90 days, I said what's the point then immediately after regretted it. Then was 90 days, I felt great then to my demise I started reading erotica and surfing the wrong subs and voila. Reset. This streak has almost been for a year (which was the original intention before I posted but I figured why not).
Within the last year I've stopped smoking (I use pornfree to help me keep track) this was a pretty big accomplishment for me. Being drug free and getting my life together. I've gotten back into working out, reading, I have a well paying job and it's easy to be happy. I've also stopped watching TV and this is the first time in a while I've been on reddit/facebook. You don't have to be as efficient at first obviously but take it one a time. Start with this. Get a handle of it. Start another task or stop doing something that wastes your time.
I feel different than my peers because I know I'm different. I don't watch porn, I don't fap, I don't edge (hard mode) and I know they do. I just came back from chilling with them and somehow the subject came up, they all laughed and talked but I felt a little uncomfortable. Another one of my friends is in deep depression, smokes every day and faps quite regularly. You'll find it hard to relate to certain people because they just won't understand. Why would you do that? Dopamine. Brain. Oh uh... sure.
The only reason you should do this is for you. Or maybe for a girl, that's fine too but make sure it's something you can believe in and hold yourself to. My reason was confidence. I have quite a bit (I can control it), I would also say my energy has gone up, I'm more precise and think clearly and I'm happy. Nofap is part of changing your entire life. Master one thing and you'll feel good, master another and you feel better eventually you're doing what you should be doing and soon you're the person you want to be.
I'll share one more tidbit of info with you before I end. My hero is myself in 10 years. It's not someone today because who knows what kind of scandal might happen and it's not me right now. It's future me because that makes me want to better myself. It makes me push myself into doing what I don't want to do so eventually I can do what I want to do.
I want you to succeed. Succeed and prosper as much and even more so than I have. Not fapping gives you more time to invest in yourself to invest in others and the future. Know that you are worthy of love and achieving your goals. I know it's tough right now but hang on after those first few weeks it gets easy and then at some point you wear the badge with honor. It's not just a number but a mile stone. I have gone 251 days without PMO and I'm all the better for it.
I hope I helped and answered a few questions you might have.
LINK - My Story
Check. Sometimes these are very needed. If you're having troubles with no fap take a look at yourself. Or stand by a mirror next time you wank. Watch yourself the whole time. Or stare at a stapler. Or a cat. Or a piece of chalk. Essentially these are all the same effect. You're not fooling anyone except for yourself.
That woman you're watching? Sure, she got her money but did you really get your money's worth? The same woman that's someone's daughter, that's someone's wife, that's someone's mom. What if you knew them. What if that was your daughter, mom, wife, how would you feel.
We are stuck in our fabricated realities where we have harems of women at our disposal with just a click of a button. Really are they real? Sure, just as you and I but are you really having sex? No. Your fucking your hand, straight up, plain and simple. I apologize if my tone is a little harsh but really this is what I need to hear.
Facebook, reddit, the whole internet for that matter is a waste of time. Cat pics, porn, ice buckets, what happened to using the computer for something that actually mattered? Work, education, something. Something that actually accounted for the time spent online. Something you could take away from the hours spent instead of a used tissue.
Porn perverts the mind. It also screws up your dopamine (source: yourbrainonporn.com) and so you remain stagnant. You need that fix. Those few seconds of 'happiness' that you desperately desire and who could blame you? Who would go out with... you?
Fix it. Don't blame yourself. You chose to be here. You chose those videos. You chose to waste your weekend. It wasn't an accident. Your hand didn't just slip and click and type and click and then touch yourself, that was all you. Start owning up to it. Change your life. Do something, anything just stop wasting time! Stop wasting your life behind the computer screen wasting your life force on something that will never love you back.
You could find the one. You can have sex. You can do anything if only you would get up and do it. Make the first step. It's a daily battle, not just an overnight success. Those never happen anyways. Anyone that's gotten anywhere had to get there. They didn't just magically teleport and poof! They were in their dream house with their dream wife and dream car. The difference between wanting and wishing is work.
Will you work? Will you start? Will you change? Those dreams you've had since you were a kid... What happened? Why did you stop? You have no more time? Well I wonder where that time's been going. Learn time management, schedule your day better, no more excuses.
It's not real man. It's like banging a blow up doll. You don't brag about how you watched 10 porn vids last night and used up all your lotions and tissues. Why? Because that's pathetic. You're telling me your ancestors spend lineage after lineage to create you and you decide to do them by jizzing on the floor?
I want to help you, but you need to help yourself first. You're the only one that can change your life. Other people can help you along the way but the main factor is you. Whether you decide to improve or get worse is up to you. Own up to this addiction.
This addiction of "finding the perfect video" or even something as little as checking facebook for no reason. It's because you're curious. You want to know what's new, if there is anything new. You can't be out of the loop can you. You can't not fap. You need her. She makes you complete.
It's not real. Get that in your head. It's pixels. The real thing feels so much better and then you get cuddles afterwards! A real live human being, it can't get any better than that. Fine, if that didn't work I don't care. Stay the way you are. Prove them all right. That you can't do it, that you're worthless.
It's all up to you. The choice is yours. The answer is now, not tomorrow or next week or some other time. Make the choice to get a porn blocker. To change your habits. To do something other than waste your entire life. Do you want to look back at the end of your life and all you see is you fapping? Or do you want to accomplish something, set out into the world and be somebody, fall in love, realize your dreams?
I believe in you, don't let me down. See you in the real world.
JS1 SS, signing off, forever and out.