Age 20 - ED: Confidence roaring back, feel more manly
If this looks familiar I had a thread in the PIED section which had 400 views with my journal. I decided to make this thread because 90 days seems to be the benchmark that a lot of people aim for (at least at first) so I thought people might be interested in seeing exactly how much progress I'd made at 90 days.
I've also made a lot of edits and added new sections to the original thread to make it more comprehensive so it might be worth having another read of it. Thanks for reading.
Hi, thanks for clicking on my thread. This thread details my own PIED case, how I've got through the 90 days of HARD MODE no PMO and the progress I've made over the course of my reboot. I hope you find it useful.
2) PIED Situation before rebooting
3) How I've tackled my reboot, all the changes I've made
4) Main techniques to kick the addiction
5) Rewiring (my view and my situation)
6) Changes so far: PIED
7) Changes so far: Other effects
1) 20 year old virgin. Very little sexual experience until met the girl I tried to have sex with at 20.
2) Been MO'ing since 16 and PMO'ing since 16.5.
3) 1-3 times a day with the odd day without O'ing. I'd say O's were 90% PMO 10% MO.
4) Only watched soft core/standard/lesbian porn, never escalated tastes. This is interesting because I could always masturbate and ejaculate to just bikini pictures and very occasionally if I tried hard enough I could without any stimulation just with my grip. That said, my grip did however escalate, death grip PMO for about 6 months before started reboot.
5) All medical tests came back with no problems, also urologist physical inspection all clear. I actually had 3 blood tests which covered everything and they all came back with no abnormalities. The physical inspection was just a very quick look from my urologist, he just checked my foreskin wasn't tight because I did grow up with a tight foreskin and that everything looked ok.
6) This is another interesting one, I was a very 'late bloomer', didn't really start puberty until maybe 14/15. This was an issue with my confidence and approaching girls, I was very short until 16 and I went from 5'5 to 5'11 in the space of a few months. This may have also played a part in why I started MO'ing/PMO'ing so late (16 y/o).
PIED situation before rebooting
1) Noticed problem (PIED) when couldn't lose virginity with first sexual partner at University. I was insanely attracted to this girl and could get a 75% erection kissing/foreplay but would always lose it before sex, wouldn't have been hard enough anyway. This is part of how I know it is PIED. I would have a 75% erection which is just about hard enough for some penetration while we were kissing/touching but as soon as we stopped and I tried to put it in I would lose it. I think this is because as soon as stimulation stopped and I wasn't 'aroused' (even though I was in my head) the little guy went limp.
2) Started noticing things were getting really bad about 6 months ago, I was able to masturbate and ejaculate with maybe a 75% erection, literally nothing would get me rock hard again. That said, I was still watching more soft-core porn, my tastes never really escalated for some reason.
3) No response to sexual thoughts or touch without porn, needed some visual stimulation to orgasm. Girlfriend could occasionally get me off with a death grip handy, her arms would literally get tired... (awful... lol, so embarrassing and not even pleasurable)
4) Girlfriend is studying abroad until December 23rd (which will work out at day 150 of my reboot!)
5) Last few years I have definitely had an increase in brain fog, decrease in memory retention, self esteem etc. Lots of smaller issues that I wasn't really aware of until my reboot (read on later...)
6) Confidence took a serious smack since i'd say 16 y/o. (related to being bullied quite badly from age 15-16 by one kid, luckily I had that growth spurt at 16 I talked about and quickly put him in his place lol)
How I've tackled my Reboot so far!
1) My reboot has been on extra hard mode for the full 90 days. I have barely even touched my penis for the last 90 days, ruled out all forms of artifical sexual stimulation (more in section below).
2) I've always been fit and healthy but have upped daily excercise, bought myself a pull up bar and probably do 1-2 hours aerobic cardio with football every 2-3 days.
3) Eating lots of protein, cut out sugar.
4) Drinking with uni mates cut right down, maybe 1 night every 2-3 weeks.
5) Started the 30 days cold shower challenge around day 45 (still going.)
6) My internet usage is still high but I steer well clear of anything that might get me aroused. I watch a lot of netflix/youtube/sports, mostly football videos, music (no music videos steer clear of bikinis/twerking girls in vids!) and studying to be honest (read more in section below).
7) Been on a course of 3MG/day of L-Arginine supplements for about a month. Now, I wouldn't necessarily recommend these, I can't tell if they have helped or its just my reboot that has helped my erection strength. From what I know they help with blood flow around your body in general and seem to have varying success rates, I don't think they have done much though, I think really they are for people with blood flow erectile problems. However, I have read they are good to supplement workouts because of the effect they have on circulation, so I might have got some benefit there.
8 ) This is a controversial one but since being back at university I've been taking more naps and generally sleeping 8-10 hours a night. Some people might see this as a bad sign and being lethargic BUT the naps are always after 1-2 hours cardio excercise or a long study session. Personally I believe they aid recovery because your brain has a chance to recover and be void of any stimulation while you nap. Another benefit is that I often try to wake up without the aid of an alarm (a lot of my classes start after 11AM so I'm lucky) and waking up naturally makes it easier to see changes in morning wood.
Main techniques used to kick the addiction The above section describes how I've tackled my reboot and the steps I've been taking but this section will highlight the exact techniques I used to kick the addiction.
1) Make cutting out PMO your goal. Having a girlfriend to aim for this with really helped me, my girl made it very clear it was her or the porn. Luckily I chose her. If you can't do this with a girlfriend then just think its either PMO or the rest of your sex life! You have to get it into your mindset that PMO is bad for your mental and sexual health, once you really push this to the forefront of fighting your addiction it will get easier. You have to demonize PMO in your head, its bad, its not good for me etc etc.
2) Like I said, I've cut off all artificial sexual stimulation during my stimulation. I don't watch r-rated movies/TV shows, bikini vids, Facebook pictures even music videos. My brain has literally been starved of sexual imagery. Every time I feel myself getting even the tiniest bit aroused I just smash the thought out of my head instantly change my attention, replace the images in your head with an explosion or a big red X which blots out the image in your head. I have had a few tiny tiny slips after day 60 or so where I have had a little rub but not masturbated properly and certainly not to any visual stimulation. (That said I do skype my girlfriend daily but its purely conversational, she is aware of the situation and is just supporting me until she is back, I don't get aroused because we are just talking, obv. she is always fully clothed.)
3 As a general rule when the urges come and they will hit you very hard in the first few days/weeks/month apart from just telling yourself its wrong like in the tip above try and physically distract yourself, walk into a room with your friends/family, go for a run, just get yourself out of your 'trigger zone'.
4) In the first few days when my urges were so strong I would literally sit on my hands, yes sit on my hands. This sounds ridiculuous but if I was in a position where I couldn't go out and distract myself, for example if I got urges in bed at night, I would sit on my hands until the urge passed, if I didn't do this I found that my hands would actually be magnetised towards my little guy.
5) This is another big one, no matter how bad the withdrawal is you are curable and you will get through it. I had a 60 day dead dick flatline, some people have had less some people (Gabe) have had up to 9 months. At 50 days I was questioning will I ever be cured? Will I ever be able to have sex? These questions are natural and the natural response is to test yourself by watching some porn or masturbating, whatever happens dont do this. You have made it X amount of days and testing yourself will 99% lead to a relapse, either PMO or just MO.
6) Remember, every time you reject urges you are deadening your neural pathways. You won another small battle in the war against PMO. Look at is rejecting an urge is a small victory, a step on your way to kicking the addiction. If you do this you will slowly start feeling better and better about resisting and it will become easier and easier.
Rewiring (my view and my situation)
As far as I'm concerned rewiring is essential to getting rid of PIED. It is all very well and good deadening the pathways to porn in your brain but ideally you want to replace them (or re-replace them since our brains are initially hardwired to real people at first) with real girls. However, I also understand for some (like me while my girlfriend is abroad, although maybe others for different reasons) it is hard to rewire with a girl during your reboot, particularly if you have confidence issues, little experience or struggle to meet new girls. I will list a few ways I have tried to get round this below.
1) So, if like me you don't have your girlfriend there or you don't have a girlfriend to rewire with you can try and mildly rewire with friends. Girls that maybe you are attracted to but you know they are just your friends and nothing more, for example you can just flirt with them or go on innocent coffee/lunch dates (i've taken a few of my best friends out for coffee, no intent to pursue them obviously). This kind of mild rewiring just helps you to get used to spending time 1on1 with girls or getting that little thrill that comes with some innocent flirting. As far as im concerned any type of innocent but intimate time with girls that you are attracted to can only help while you are starving your brain of artificial stimulation. Think of it as conditioning your brain to replace artificial stimulation with real girls.
2)This may sound incredibly creepy but while I haven't been clubbing as much this year at university (because I now have a girlfriend and increased workload) I have noticed positive progress after a night clubbing with friends. I mean what better way to condition your brain to real life girls than being in a room full of hot dancing girls. I know some people will think im a creep for writing this but it genuinely has helped me, 2 of my wet dreams came after I was incredibly horny after a night clubbing.
Changes so far... PIED
1) This is the biggest one, I've completely kicked the porn/masturbation addiction! Before I started my reboot I literally had to jerk off and watch porn at least once a day, often before bed to send me to sleep. I would literally get an urge to masturbate just seeing a bikini pic in a newspaper, I couldn't resist it and would PMO whenever I got the chance after I was turned on. Now, after about 10-15 days of extreme extreme urges they progressively got weaker and weaker. Some days were very difficult to get through, the way I looked at it was fighting my brain which was trying to trick me into soothing myself with PMO. About 30 days in I had no impulse to touch my dick at all, I finally felt free of the addiction (deep in flatline at this point).
2) DEEP flatline lasted about 50-60 days. For 2 months I had no sexual desire at all, the little guy shriveled up, absolutely no erections at all, was very worried something worse was up, feared I was incurable, deep depression some days, moodswings, very volatile, brain fog regularly. My brain tried every trick in the book to try and get me to PMO so it could get its hit of dopamine.
3) After day 60 my flatline seemed to get less strong, I had a day where my libido came roaring back. After 2 months of having 0% libido I was suddenly so sexually charged I just wanted to have sex so badly. Proper sex, I wanted my girlfriend's touch, her smell, everything. As bad as this sounds every girl in my classes was suddenly very attractive to me, it was a crazy day, it leveled off in the evening when I got home. That evening I decided to fantasize about my girlfriend, completely hands free and focus on my girlfriend what she smelt like, how it felt when we were foreplay(ing.) Got a 90% boner in about 30 seconds, only lasted about 2-3 minutes but this was a huge step in my reboot. It was the first time I had any erection in 60 days and I didn't need porn, didn't need death grip, it just happened because of thought!
4) Had 4 wet dreams in the 90 days, 3 were sexual and one was after a night of drinking so I didn't wake up lol. The first 3 were extremely strong, the orgasm woke me up and felt amazing, so much better than if I had been masturbating, it was intense. 2 of them were dreaming of dry humping/kissing a hot girl and the 3rd I think I was watching a girl strip (like I was watching a porno in front of me), which was a bit dissapointing but didn't beat myself up over it for too long. Interestingly my 3rd and 4th wet dreams came the night after I'd been clubbing. I would be super turned on by the girls in the club dancing around as you do and both times the next morning I'd had wet dreams.
5) Sensitivity in my penis is returning, when i say this I mean response to touch/rubbing. I've had several erections spontaneously when I haven't been thinking about it just from my penis rubbing on the inside of my jeans. This is a huge plus for me, before my reboot like I said I needed the death grip just to keep a 75% erection. I know if I wanted to masturbate and ejaculate now I definitely could without any visual aid and a much lighter touch.
6) Morning wood coming back gradually. I'm particularly pleased with this because pre my PMO days I would get rock hard wood every morning and then a few months into PMO it was gone for 1.5-2 years. Now, slowly it's coming back and getting stronger. Since about day 70 they have gone from 50% to 80% consistently.
7) Erections with my girlfriend? Well I can't tell yet, she isn't back home yet (she will be on day 150.) However, I can't wait to properly rewire and the signs are promising that I will be able to get a stronger erection and will finally be able to have sex.
1) Concentration increased slightly, still I'd say its part of my personality I've always had concentration problems since I was a kid.
2) Confidence roaring back after about a month. I look back on parts of my life like being bullied in sixth form and think what an idiot I was to let it happen, i'm so much more confident in myself now that will never happen again.
3) Disgusted by porn, fuck that shit.
4) Think testosterone increasing? When I shave my hair grows back quicker lol?, could be due to increased weight lifting, protein intake and excercise though.
5) Generally feel more manly.
Thanks for reading, I hope you've found this thread useful. Any feedback/queries/why this has or hasn't helped you would be greatly appreciated, I've spent about 2 solid hours writing this guide because I genuinely think it could help some people like others' threads have helped me. If you don't want to write on the thread I'm also available on PM as I check the forums every day or 2.
BY - bluegates