Age 20 - ED cured, I'm 100x more attracted to girls and am more at peace with myself
INITIAL POST -
I just recently turned 20 years old and somehow stumbled upon this site...anyways i am a 20 year old college sophomore going into my junior year and well i haven't really had sex yet... It's not that i'm unattractive
(i am in extremely good shape very muscular used to run track in high school have one of my schools records i squat over 315lbs deadlift around 405lbs and can bench 250+ at around 6ft 165lb..yadayada not trying to brag sorry )girls are always trying to get with me but i guess ive always been a very quiet person who really thinks/worries about everything(lot of anxiety?lol) i can easily psych myself out of things. Anyways i've always looked at porn for as long as i can remember. Started pretty early just using my imagination went to pictures of girls in my sisters magazines then to the yearbook(yeah i know...) then got a big huge desktop computer in my room and thats when it all took off i remember just typing boobs into google and boom i was in heaven it just escalated from there started watching videos once i got a laptop i'd literally lock myself in the bathroom when i came home from school for an hour and just unwind... anyway never thought of it as an addiction or anything i'd usually masturbate atleast once a day to porn sometimes 2 never more than that. Never really had a girlfriend although i've been close with a few girls starting in 7th grade dad moved the family to another state in 10th grade met few girls there nothing more than kissing/cuddling etc i remember easily getting an erection during those times though.
Fast forward to freshmen year of college old friend of mine got me to join his frat was never really close to the dude but really didn't know anyone at the university i went to (smartest one of all my friends so none of them really got in ..) anyways started drinking alot more first week i was there hooked up with a girl felt her up and everything i was black out drunk don't really remember it wound up throwing up after she left? I guess? anyways woke up with puke on the floor... continued hooking up with girls all throughout freshmen year really loved college.. never any sex though just kissing/fooling around.
End of freshmen year go out to club as usual pretty drunk find this one girl start hitting it off talking to her having a blast start hooking up etc, talk/hook up until club closed and they kicked us out... first time ever happened to me lol anyways bring her back to the frat house ask her if she wants to go upstairs she says yes go into a room lock the door start getting into it take off clothes and she tells me she feels uncomfortable wants to go back to her place i'm like sure whatever lets go kinda killed the moment but i was pretty drunk and didn't care. Go back to her place start getting into both naked she's ontop of my grinding away i have a decent boner i think? can't really remember it anyways go to put on my condom and well my boner kinda starts to fade for some reason and that coupled with the new found rush of anxiety over my boner failing and the fact that it was my first time and i was actually about to get laid ! but now couldn't i just went completely flaccid. Extremely embarrassing.... girl kinda blamed it on herself i told her it was my fault i was drunk etc. etc.(starting to think it was more related to my porn use and the fact that i sort of lost interest with the whole act) told her i was gonna go but she wanted me to stay and cuddle/spend the night was like w/e and decided to stay fell asleep woke up in the morning felt like my penis was shriveled up inside of me went into the bathroom tried to rub one out but nothing... Extremely depressed went back home looked at some porn able to rub one out at about 60-70% really bad. Next few weeks kept trying every day got to the point where couldnt even get hard with porn really depressed. Around same time had a bad accident in the gym lifting heavy weights forgot to breath and got an extreme headache something just popped in my head. Everytime i would raise my blood pressure i would get horrible headaches (so every time i'd masturbate and orgasm i would be left with a giant migraine) went to several doctors got MRI's done etc no one knew what was wrong. Anyways couldn't lift anymore basically became pretty depressed stop masturbating for about a week or two finally afterwards was able to O without pain and my erections also started to come back after this time. Had second attempt at sex at a friends house during a vacation break starting hooking up with this girl got decent erection but it quickly died we kept getting interrupted at least 3 different times while hooking up while being at my friends house so i was constantly going from hard to soft don't know if that played a roll in anything but once again felt like i became disinterested and couldn't perform...anways never got completely naked with her just felt her up etc but her friend was with my friend and they came back before we could do anything more and wanted to go home pretty much dragged her out...thankfully...heh...got her number she told me before she left she wished she could stay and that she wanted to have sex... anways texted her for a bit but had to leave for an internship for the summer in and never really followed up with her...yeah i know i'm a fag... Anways my time away and isolated focusing on working a 40 hour work week and staying with my dad i was able to rebalance a little bit (still jerked it to porn on my phone but cut down on it significantly and was able to return to normal erection from porn) after few months able to get back into the gym back to where I was before the accident. It's been about a year since then and I have found this website and am looking to change my life around and see if I can finally be the man i want to be.
Right now i'm on about day 11 of no PMO i have edged myself a bit (around 2 times) but now feel like i'm sort of in flatline its been awhile since ive been able to get hard without porn but I noticed after about 5 days it was extremely easy for me to get rock hard with just touch alone. I feel like i sorta screwed up with edging myself almost to orgasm(bit of pre cum) at around day 7 and may have set myself back some but am definitely convinced this will work. Haven't really looked at any porn and don't really plan on it again (although i have seen a few naked pics but quickly exited out of them while on the net). The first few days felt amazing and I was waking up with about a 60% morning wood which im still kind of getting but nothing like OMG what a rager yet. I think i am entering flatline as my libido is pretty down and i'm feeling kind of depressed hoping to go atleast 30 days without any PMO and then go from there. I'm on a study abroad trip in China right now and return back home on the 2nd so hoping to last until atleast then. Have alot of work and am pretty busy so my mind isn't really left with much time to think about porn.
BY - Tryingtogoback
So i'm not gonna post a huge back story but anyways i'm a 20year old rebooter almost 4 months into the reboot and i've finally had success. Lost my virginity and had sex for the first time story below!
HOLY COW BOYSSSS I DID ITTTTTT. I HAD SEX. Yup. Me.
It was with this great girl i've known for awhile now. Kissed and cuddled on the first night had some mild action downstairs but was waaaay nervous and wasn't relaxed at all plus we were drunk. Second night got a call from some friends asking me to pick her up from a club because all she was asking for was me... picked her up and went back to my appt. she was pretty drunk and we got into it pretty heavy again, I was pretty nervous again but i was completely sober but felt bad because she was obviously drunk.
Anyways i wound up on top of her with her violently making out with me and realized I was kinda flaccid and was like noooo please not now. Anyways I was like fuck it (pardon me french) and just went for it, took off her pants and started fingering her, at the same time she started touching "down there" while we continued hooking up and next thing i know i hear her say WOW your dicks huge... looked down and sure enough I had a full blow erection. Best feeling of my life lol. Anyways we didn't wind up having sex because of how drunk she was and just cuddled/kissed for the rest of the night and i had nice locking erections the whole entire time. Here's where things finally get good:
The next night we both decide to meet up after having a few drinks and go back to my place. Start getting into it again and bam perfect locking erection as soon as the foreplay starts. After a bit and a little convincing on my part ;) we decide to go for it. She puts the condom on for me and the rest is history, multiple positions no loss of erection. I did not cum though idk why maybe the fact that I was kinda drunk and the condom but idc she enjoyed it which is really all that matter anyways and I enjoyed it too. We went to bed and then in the morning started fooling around again and like clockwork locking solid erection but I cut it off this time and we left it at that!
Anyways guys thanks for all the support and keep up the good work because it'll all work out in the end!!!!
UPDATE - 1 year no PMO
So today marks my 1 year anniversary since giving up porn. Wow... Looking back on the past year it feels like a century ago...1 year ago today I chose to embark on a journey that would turn my entire life around.
I was a 20 yr old sophomore in college and up until that point I'd had an amazing life no problems growing up I got good grades, was good at sports, lifted weights, ran track, lots of friends. Everything was perfect except for one tiny (HUGE) problem in my life...porn... I would PMO everyday without fail.
I noticed something wasn't right when I couldn't perform in bed with naked girls literally throwing themselves at me (some literally grinding away rubbing on my limp dick). I became depressed and didn't know wtf was wrong with me and like anyone started googling about ED. Thankfully I stumbled upon this site and was at rock bottom so decided what the hell and gave it a shot.
Let me tell you in the last year I've had more sex than I can count, sometimes 3-4 times a day. I even managed to score a girlfriend during the past year and we dated for a few months. My erections issues are a thing of the past and I can MO whenever I want just to touch alone. I'm 100x more attracted to girls and am more at peace with myself and happy with life.
All in all quitting PMO changed my life back to what it should have been and I'm glad I caught this problem early! Anyways - Just popping back in to share my story and please if anyone of you newer guys or even some of you older guys still on here need any help or advice don't be afraid to shoot me a PM!
UPDATE 2 - Over 500+ Days PMO Free
So I very rarely frequent this forum anymore, maybe once in awhile just to check out the new success stories and maybe answer a few questions. I have also pretty much stopped counting days, but thought to myself recently, I wonder how many "days" ive actually gone. Needless to say after a little simple math (I gave up porn on my 20th birthday july 2nd and im currently 21 soon to be 22) I figured out I have surpassed the 500 day mark give or take a few weeks haha.
Anyways, the last few times i've popped on the forums to browse around i've noticed the same old success stories on the first page (some a few months old!). I know I personally enjoyed reading success stories when I was going through my reboot (back when 90 days seemed like a long lost fairy tale/dream) so, in light of that I thought i'd pop back on and throw up a post for all of you newbies thinking there's no way I can last even 1 week let alone 90 days.
I know your pain, I was there, and i got through it. Heck I was a 20yo VIRGIN prior to my reboot and since then i've had sex more times than i can count 100s+. The days get easier and sooner than you know it you stop thinking about it, and your brain stops thinking about it and it loses its grip on you and you become FREE. Just stick with it and keep going even if you slip up, its not a failure, the only failure is if you give up and stop moving forward.
A really big component with this process (at least for me) is your mindset you've got to think positively. Easier said than done but if you think negatively you will get negative results.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
Good luck boys!