Age 20 - ED & DE: 150 days, successful sex
October 7, 2012 - INITIAL POST
So, I'm 20 years old now and have decided I need a reboot. I started watching porn when I was about 13 or 14, and have been on and off "addicted" since then. I went through times when I would look forward to masturbating over porn almost every evening, and I've also been through periods when I've managed to stay away from it completely (usually when my parents found out...).
The first few times I had sex it was a disaster! Often I wouldn't get hard or I would get hard but never ejaculate. Having said that, I have had some good sexual experiences (hand jobs and blowjobs) but the unsuccessful ones outnumber those. It started to get really frustrating.
I've been porn-free for six weeks now and after seeing this website and Gary Wilson's presentations I've decided to go porn and masturbation free for as long as it takes to feel like I've got my libido back and can have sex successfully. I'm on day 3 now and feeling fine, I'm sure it'll get more difficult but I'm trying to see it as a time of discovery about myself, and I'm just glad to finally be doing something about it! Luckily I'm at college right now and have quite a lot to distract me. Thanks for reading, keep checking back here for updates.. I'm hoping that I'll be successful and others suffering from ED or DE can read my journal for inspiration.
LINK TO JOURNAL - 20 year old starting my reboot on my 20th birthday
BY - CharlieB123
New year, new mindset (link to new journal)
Janurary 7, 2013
Hi, I doubt anyone here remembers me but I started a journal a few months ago, but then stopped as all I could say basically was "I'm in a flatline" which got depressing.
As you can see, I've gone over 100 days of NO PMO, but I've had far too many orgasms in that time to make significant progress. I'd say I had about 12 orgasms in that time, half from MO and half from hand/blowjobs or wet dreams. But it's clear that they have significantly slowed my progress, so now I'm going for the orgasm-free reboot. I decided to start my journal today because 21 days is my new record for no MO
My mindset has changed a lot, and now I realise I can live life perfectly happily with no P or M, so I'm willing to stick with it for as long as it takes. Wish me luck! I'm also only gonna post on here when something significant happens or once every week or something - writing "I'm in a flatline" every day really starts to get me down haha.
First ever successful sex with a condom (link to post)
Janurary 20th, 2013
So, last night after about 150 days of no PMO and 33 days of no MO, I managed to have my first ever successful sex with a condom on. By that I mean I was able to get hard, put on the condom (while only going down to about a 95% erection), penetrate and orgasm inside the girl, all with absolutely no porn fantasy. I did have a pit of PE - I came after about 3 minutes I think - but I think that's normal for us rebooters. I would take mild PE over severe DE any day, especially since I actually enjoyed it this time. Plus, this was my ex GF, who is the only one I've told about the reboot so she was very understanding
This is a massive achievement for me - before, condom use was almost impossible because of ED of medium severity, and even without one, my DE would usually be so bad that I'd physically tire out before I came.
I don't think I'm fully rebooted yet though. Or maybe I'm rebooted but not rewired, since I don't find girls as attractive as I used to. Still, I can't thank Gary Wilson, Marnia and the creators of this forum enough for showing me the path that was necessary to defeat one of my life's biggest issues.
If I have a few big pieces of advice (I feel I'm now slightly worthy of giving advice haha), it'd be to read and trust YBOP. Too many people read a few posts on this forum that counter what it says on YBOP, and then believe the people on the forum rather than YBOP. I find that the most common topic is masturbation. Yes, Gary says that masturbation to no porn or fantasy doesn't set you back, but he also says there is no timescale for recovery if you mix in orgasms. So don't be surprised when you masturbate and it heavily stalls the process! The times I made by far the most progress were the times I abstained longest from MO as well as PMO. MO really is a bad idea during the reboot in my opinion. Also, just remember that Gary has read many thousands of porn-addiction articles, forum posts and scientific research papers - he is basing his judgement on FAR more sources than you are. And look at the stats as well! YBOP says that "almost everyone" who abstains from P, M and O for up to several months recovers from PIED. THAT should be your motivation.
Finally, you need to accept early on that porn is gone from your life. I intend on getting married and raising a happy family, and I really think that that is almost impossible with severe PIED. I find that thinking of these two things helped me to accept that porn was gone:
1. Porn has had a terrible effect on my life. I can't give in to what I truly see as an "evil enemy".
2. If you'd never seen porn before, you wouldn't be so eager to go and watch it. I know that sounds silly but, let's say you were born 30 years earlier, this wouldn't be a problem. Realise that people have been getting along fine without Internet porn for the vast majority of human history - that means you can too.