Age 20 - ED for years. Ruined my last relationship.

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Hi,

i'm 20 years old, and started fapping when i was about.. 9 or so. i didnt even know it was fapping back then, i didnt have an errection, i just had a sensational feeling and even no cum came out of my penis. It went on and on and on and on. Until last year.

My journey started about one year ago. I was studying in a big city, all by myself. New town, new people, new home. I had ED - which caused problems in my first relationship, a 2 and a half year long one - and i wanted to do something against it. That was the time when i heared about nofap and the fapstronauts - mainly through the TED Video.

So.. it was a very long journey.. until now, my longest streak was 70 days, at my second attempt. after that, i always struggled. I had 30 day streaks, but mostly 14 - 21 day streaks. I learned that i always fapped when i was nervous or sad because of something. Fapping was my safe haven, my lonely island where i was happy.

My biggest problem was.. that i just told myself "this one time it will be ok, tomorrow is another day". i kept on lying to myself.

But one day, it just made "click". I realized, that i dont need this. I, just dont. I cant really say anything different from that. I somehow just realized "dude, you dont need this, just quit it". It's like smoking. I smoked when i was younger (age 14 - 16) but i was luckily never addicted. I never bought a pack of cigarettes for myself, i always smoked cigarettes from my friends, and yes, i mainly started because i wanted to "fit in/be cool". One day i just came to the conclusion, that i dont need it. It didnt give me anything benefitial, except stress relief, but that wasnt worth it. So i became a party smoker, and when my mother found out about that, last year (the time i had my longest streak, i fapped because i was so sad and felt so guilty), i also stopped this habit.

So.. where am i right now? At the time i started nofap, i switched my college. i started to study something different, in my hometown. I am the leader of a college group called "enactus". My last exams didnt go so well, but im optimistic that i will get everything straight. I have a girlfriend since one month, i met her at a festival. We have sex pretty often, and at the beginning it was hard for me, i still have issues and problems with an errection, but it's getting better and my girlfriend is a very understanding person, i'm ver y lucky that i can talk open with her about most of the things about sex (she does not know about nofap, nor about how everything started). So.. life is pretty good right now.

I'm not that active in here, the big reason i loved this website, was for the counter, but i almost forgot that it existed, and remembered at day 80 or so, when i randomly checked this subreddit again.

I just wanted to say, that my way of fighting the urge to fap, was just something in my head. I just had to "talk to myself" and realize: This is not what you need, it.. you just dont f***** need it. That's it. I'm sorry that i can't explain/tell you guys more, but this is my story so far.

of course i will keep on with no fap and i'm pretty sure that this will be a very long streak. I wish all of you guys good luck, and stay optimistic!

LINK - 90 Days - My story so far

by baektas