Age 21 - Take Two, a deep passion for success

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New ZealandI've just reached 50 days of NoFap for the second time today. Before I jump into it, I want to lay the background of my life, followed by experiences and results.

Background: I'm currently 21 year old Junior in college. I started to PMO 9 years ago when I was 12 years old in the 6th grade. Before discovering porn I remember having several friends as girls, and being able to talk to girls relatively easy for my age. I looked at girls completely different back then. I used to think of talking to girls as simply talking to another person.

When I discovered porn everything changed in relation to me and the opposite sex. I would even look at my prehistoric teachers in a sexual way... I couldn't stop picturing them naked to save my life! Plus I would constantly fantasize about girls in my class. During 8 years of PMO: My porn addiction started pretty mild, with X Rated HBO and Showtime movies late at night.

Soon after I started looking at porn pictures on my PSP back in the day. Once my family got high speed internet, I started watching copious amounts of hardcore videos. I even started looking at bizarre videos like tranny threesomes or midgets with strap-ons just to get off.

Immediately, my relationships with girls began to change. I started to see them as sexual objects and nothing more. I also began to become really introverted and socially anxious all the time. I didn't have the urge or desire to socialize beyond family and close friends. I started to feel tired all the time, my room smelled horrible because of my masturbating addiction. I noticed myself becoming increasingly socially inept, but instead of working on the problem I would turn to porn for comfort. I also began to become insecure about pretty much everything. From my voice, to my body, to the size of my dick, everything felt like it wasn't worthy of getting pussy.

Because of my lack of ability to talk females, I didn't have my first girlfriend til 9th grade, and it lasted 2 days. My first kiss didn't come till I was 18 and sloppy drunk with the ugliest girl in the party. Eventually I became numb to my problems, and even worst... I had no desire to change as long as I had porn to comfort me.

What Inspired NoFap: In my second year of college when I finished my first 90 day noFap challenge, had just turned 20 years old...

  • I didn't have a girlfriend
  • had 0 girls in my social circle
  • hadn't had sex in 14 months!
  • porn became mundane
  • my penis would rarely get fully hard - wanted to have a real relationship with a girl
  • wanted to feel social again

During my first noFap 90 day challenge: When I first tried this challenge, I relapses about 3 times before finally kicking the PMO habit. At first the urges were too strong for me to handle, and all i could think about was looking up my favorite porn to relieve the discomfort. Initially, i tried to stop masturbating but I would still look at porn. This method never worked as I would get so turned on that I had to MO.

I finally made up my mind that I was totally done with PMO, and I managed to stay away from porn and start my noFap streak. The good and bad of the nofap streak included the following:

  • Felt really energetic the first week
  • Looked for other sexual outlets
  • Had a couple wet dreams along the way
  • Strange IOI's everywhere I went
  • Girls became really nice for some reason
  • Constant positive social feedback
  • Friends saw a positive change
  • Started talking to girls at parties and making out with random girls 
  • Confidence out the roof
  • Urges for PMO almost completely went away after about 70 days
  • Started lowering my standards
  • Did whatever it took to hook up with someone
  • Considered calling a prostitute… but didn't
  • Had sex with a fat chick multiple times
  • Sent out countless dick pics
  • Got good at talking to girls
  • Broke dry spell at around day 60
  • Overcame a lot of irrational fears with the opposite sex
  • Learned that talking to girls is really easy
  • Penis became really sensitive
  • Ate a girl out for first time
  • blowjob's felt like heaven on earth
  • Started taking more opportunities
  • Had a couple flatlines that lasted about 2 weeks each
  • Felt my personality radiate - Became more creative and funny
  • Became really playful
  • More optimistic
  • Got in best shape of my life
  • More clarity, less foggy headed

Despite all the positive results that I experienced during my first noFap streak. I ended it at 93 days because of what I now realize was a flatline, and I wasn't sure if things were going to stay that way. Plus, I had lost a drive to keep going because the challenge was done! So I started edging to porn to make my penis less sensitive, because every time I had sex I would cum within 5 minutes. Looking back I regret breaking my streak, because going back to porn made almost all of the positive effects go away. The old life I had before noFap came rushing back. It was almost like I did all that work for nothing.

After first 90 day streak: After 90 day streak I started to fap more than ever before. Although the porn I watched was pretty vanilla, since I was so sensitive to porn.

  • Started MOing 2-3 times a day
  • Was really sensitive to porn at first, but got used to it fast
  • Felt drop in confidence and urge to talk to people - Penis became less sensitive
  • Felt more tired and cloudy headed - Had trouble maintaining eye contact
  • Personality diminished
  • Had no game with girls face to face, but still managed to have sex
  • Harder to cope with day to day obligations
  • Got laid by 4 different girls

This phase of looking at porn again lasted about 3 months before I started noFap again during November 2014. I think the only reason I had sex with 4 girls was because I had did most of the hard work with these girls during my streak. It just so happened to all pay off when I stopped noFap. After convincing myself that noFap was a way of life, not just a 3 month deal, I started my noFap streak again.

During 2nd 50+ NoFap streak: This time around, no PMO was a lot easier than the first time. Since I had done it before, there was no doubt in my mind that it could be done. As of today these are different things that I've experienced.

  • Strongest urges to PMO for first 1-2 weeks
  • At first felt rather irritable
  • Got laid twice (same girl)
  • Missed the comfort from porn
  • Penis still not sensitive
  • Have a lot more control over sexual energy
  • Feel more grounded and wholesome as a person 
  • Feel better about myself 
  • Urges almost completely gone after 50 days 
  • Always put in effort to connect with girls
  • Had a successful date with a cute girl
  • Made out with several girls within the 7 weeks 
  • Got several numbers from girls
  • Made new friends, and strengthened old friendships 
  • Became more social again
  • Able to make strong, natural eye contact
  • People generally feel at ease around me
  • Made friends with girls
  • Became good at holding conversation with girls
  • People seem to gravitate towards my personality
  • Became closer with my family
  • Started to workout like crazy
  • Developed deeper relationships with girls aside from sex
  • Feel confident when I talk -
  • Solid vision of success in the future
  • The luck of the universe seems to be on my side (hard to explain)
  • able to recognize over-sexualization and instead of being attracted to it, I see it for what it is. 
  • More sharp and witty in the mental department
  • Able to put two and two together quickly
  • More clarity in my mind
  • developed a deep passion for success
  • Feel confident in the future and God's plan - Have nothing to hide from people anymore
  • Don’t see myself stopping noFap for the rest of my life

LINK - 90 days + 50 days of NoFap: The Journey

by nonchronicmsturbater

Comments

ever since I took a bite out of the forbidden fruit (porn)9years ago I'be been addicted. I always had low self esteem and hardly no confidence Went through high school with no girlfriend and a virgin just had a lot of crushes on girls I had multiply time to have sex with girls they always thought I was funny because I could make them laugh but I was annoying at the same time. but I had multiply times to have sex with girls I was to big of a pussy to follow through because of my self conscious high school was full of regret and missed opportunities. Pornography became a escape it would temporarily relieve it then I became obsessed with women. Daydreaming about girls in my class naked and I was PMO 3times a day throughout high school. I'm 21 a junior in college
Once I started college girls started to notice me and it was always something going on party's and I had a part time job it was easy to talk to them mAinly because I was drunk half the time and I wasn't masturbating that much I would masturbate before I go see her so I wouldn't constantly think about sex when I was with her and just have a boner the whole time ,when I finally had sex with my girlfriend and it was great and but I was selfish only worrying about me busting my nut and I couldn't connect with her emotionally my feelings were numb so that didn't workout then I went back to PMO and the rush came back and I was I smoked weed everyday to sometimes calm my social anxiety.when I moved back home from school everything was different I began to masturbate more and became bored with things more often there weren't really party's just social gathering my social anxiety went through the roof I wouldn't approach the girls there just converse amongst my small group of friend and when they would approach me my awkwardness drove them away I knew puberty was good to me because I was approach by a hefty amount then people started saying I was probably gay that's when I quit smoking weed because I devopled HOCD then it was downhill from there I knew I was straight never though about another man sexually ever but everyone else was convinced I was gay so I did rituals to masturbated to straight pornography only a (little bit of Lesbian but who doesn't like a little bit of girl on girl c'mon)
Then my closet friends started to think I was gay and even my parents so I sunk into a depression because of it I started thinking of my past with girls and how it ended I got bored and lost interest but when I look at them I would always get a rise so I know I was still attracted to women I just couldn't connect dropout of school mostly coop up in my room PMOing eat and sleep an tv mostly like a empty shell who gets irritated easily and always complains about everything and I Had a really bad temper and when I did go out with my friends I'll be paranoid and my anxiety would be on the rise so I would drink so hoping that I would be able to converse with some girls but I would always end up drinking till I pass out. I have no life no girlfriend no job not in school barely any friends they probably hang around out of pitty. my parents don't look at me the same especially my mom I can see the dissapointment I caused in her eyes. I just want to become the man I that I envisioned I can become. You guys story give me hope to push on and achieve greatness because others who don't endure PMO addiction don't understand what men/women go through and how overbearing it can be on the mind body and spirit but I will keep pushing on with God's help as well day 3 of noFap and cold shower rituals down.