Age 22 - 64 days report: "Turned upside down" is not enough to express what happened to my life!
The reasons to start NoFap in the first place to be honest was getting a gf (never had one) and getting laid. Not because I wanted to change my whole life or anything. It started out with lots of edging and some pics. But of course I failed with this because and it didn't really change anything. So I read through countless posts about what happened to so many here in the time they stopped fapping. The idea of NoFap more and more became an idea of changing my life.
PMO helped me suppressing my emotions and as I never had anyone to talk I always felt like something is pulling me down, preventing me from moving forward in my life.
So I started this streak, came here everyday especially when urges hit me, read posts and answered posts of people who just started. It feels like a safe place here where people are listening and noone is judging you. Thanks to the whole community at this point. I really never believed that some internet community could make the important difference from being alone with something.
So what has changed? The first weeks were tough. No superpowers, lots of stress with studying, nothing to suppress my emotions from the past so I ended up being close to crying and really depressive for several nights and urges hitting hard from week 3. But still it felt good, because I felt the change. If you're not happy any change is good even when it's getting worse first. In this time I read a nice quote somewhere what really motivated me: "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it`s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming."
And hell yes I got launched into something great. I went to a club one night with friends when I usually would have said no and played my video games. But it felt like I need to say yes more often to random opportunities. I ended up dancing with a girl the whole night. I got her number, we met two weeks lates and were dating. When she came over to my house last week we both wanted to have sex but I couldn't. I was so nervous because I never had sex before and felt so much pressure on me that I just couldn't get an erection. She was very understanding but it's a tough thing for any man. The good thing was that I knew it wasn't because of PMO as I had a boner the whole evening until it became serious.
Last night she came over again, we couldn't see us the whole week because I am learning nonstop right now for my tests next week. And again it happened. I wanted it so bad but I couldn't. I knew exactly why because I just couldn't switch my brain off and the more I forced it the less it worked. She spent the night here and in the morning we were cuddling and then it finally happened. I was relaxed and it was just beautiful. I've waited so long for this and fapping really can't compete with this feeling of loosing yourself in this moment of happiness. And after I came I didn't feel like shit like after a fap. I just couldn't stop smiling.
As you read this be told that I never imagined that this would happen to me after only 64 days. For me it's definitely no coincidence that so much changed. I stopped playing video games while preparing for my tests, I socialize way more and I can enjoy it more, I somehow lost this fear of being rejected. If someone's not getting along with me I don't care anymore. But this didn't happen yet. It feels more like people enjoy my company more aswell.
So everyone trying to change his or her life with NoFap, stop thinking and do whatever you think is the right thing. Don't let PMO suppress your real personality and you will see everything will come as you want it. If you would have told me this 64 days ago I probably would have laughed about you. But now I am the one giving advices because I know they are true. Feels good - strange, but good.
Thanks for reading! You're amazing!
TL:DR: Started this streak, got gf, lost virginity, focusing on my studies instead of playing nonstop video games. Can't believe all this happened.
I relapsed last monday after probably having the longest nofap streak since I started fapping a long time ago. My life situation is not that easy at the moment and I know now that I have to put more effort and energy in forcing the changes and improvements of myself again.
I have some health issues I need to deal with and then get back on track with sports, my study and most important my own attitude about myself. I had a really strong burst in confidence when I started this streak but somehow I felt lost at a point. I didn't know how to keep on improving because life put some big rocks in my way and I kind of didn't have enough motivation to break them and go on.
I see the relapse as the logical result of this and also the fact that I relapsed two more times yesterday. It didn't feel as bad as I expected it to be but still I don't want to fall back to my old habits. I will just start all over again and go all in again. Time to kick some ass again and the one who needs the hardest kick is my own!