Age 22 - Over a year without Porn -> relapse -> recovery: This works!

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horseI'm 22 years old at the moment - I've been a porn junkie since I first started watching it in my early teen years. Binged heavily up until age 18 or so, and was aware that it was a problem since at least age 16. After starting college, I drastically toned down the porn-watching, though I tended to binge going home on breaks. Things have been steadily improving over the last few years.

I've started meditating which I feel helps me develop a more positive relationship with my mind.   

Just recently relapsed a few times after a full year of no viewing porn (and 280 days of not masturbating). I haven't slipped in to a binge, but have felt discouraged by relapsing. I've liked some of the posts I've seen here - particularly those about the "porn is not an option" mindset.   

Today, after a relapse, I felt motivated to read more about porn addiction, which eventually brought me here. I'm signing up and starting a journal.

Day one. Feeling hopeful. Feeling determined to continue to improve and develop a completely pornless sexuality.  

Journal by BreakingtheHabit, April 06, 2013


UPDATE April 24, 2013

Day eighteen - ended up randomly hard during the day yesterday, which was nice on top of the morning wood.  As far as I can tell I haven't had any wet dreams since starting, which I find quite bizarre.  Unless I've had one that I didn't notice which I guess is possible.

As the brain fog fades, some mild cravings have crept back in.  Now that I'm not in the depths of whatever that fog is, in which I don't think much of anything let alone porn, my mind occasionally wanders to thoughts of porn I'd once seen, etc.  Drifting down those roads in my head is probably not useful, and probably harms the healing process, so I'm trying my best to acknowledge and respect the thoughts then gently direct my attention elsewhere, while reminding myself that porn isn't an option.

Continuing to apply the approach of trying my absolute best to just stay focused on everything in my life that isn't related to porn in any way, so that porn mostly drops out of my brain on its own. 

The upward swing in moods continues as the fog becomes more of a memory.   Onward.


Over a year without P -> relapse -> recovery: this works!

UPDATE May 03, 2013

Hey everyone!

As with many of you I started watching P early in adolescence and was addicted throughout my teenage years.  I made many (many many many) attempts to quit cold turkey that were unsuccessful, though the general trend was for each streak without porn to be very slightly longer than the rest (with plenty of 3, 4 day stretches in between).

Starting last year I finally got in to a really strong groove and went over a year without porn (with 280 days without masturbation thrown in as well).

Saw some huge improvements during that time.  Being pornfree shifted from something brutally difficult to something I simply took for granted as part of my life - I simply didn't watch porn.  My sense of attraction to real women skyrocketed. I felt more in touch with my emotions and my emotions themselves felt richer.  Eventually some cravings came back and I ended up relapsing.

I got a journal as a result.

The reason for the post is that it has been so much easier to get back in to the pornfree mindset this time around.  It's still not easy, and perhaps will never be entirely easy. Cravings will always be a challenge to work with.

But I do feel that my brain has changed.  The flatline period has been much shorter for me and my sex drive has come back pretty quickly after my relapse. 

You all can do this!  Even if you feel discouraged, you are making changes to your brain.  You have what it takes to change your porn addiction as well as any other negative patterns in your lives that you want to address.

Stay strong.  This works. :)