Age 22 - Social anxiety almost gone, greater confidence & focus, stronger erections, real relationship

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young coupleI wanted to give a little report now that I reached 90 days. I've honestly been living and loving life so much that I haven't spent much time on this subreddit for quite a while- or the internet in general. NoFap has been an amazing experience, and I am a completely different man than the one who started this journey :) To put it very simply, NoFap works, and I would like to take this opportunity to share with you all how this experiment has changed me for the better.

Who I Was Before NoFap

I have always been a very happy person; I have been blessed with a great life and an awesome family. But before I started NoFap this past spring, something in my life was missing. I was lonely. When I first started this journey, I had never before had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or even held one’s hand. I also didn’t have any friends in this state (my family moved here about two and a half years ago). I was a 22-year old friendless virgin. I was a happy person, but I had a constant nagging in my life that something was missing. I had a great life, but nobody to share it with, and I was too reserved and unconfident to do anything to change that.

I masturbated regularly since middle school. I developed faster than other boys my age, so the first time I masturbated to orgasm I didn’t even know it was possible; it blew my mind, and I was instantly hooked. I loved masturbation. I remember furtively fapping away in the bathroom to sexual advertisements in my copies of Sports Illustrated. Probably when I was a freshman in high school, I first began looking at porn. I was always awkward around girls, and porn gave me a way to see them in ways that I hadn’t earned the right to see. Up until I started NoFap, I was a frequent masturbator and what I would say was a recreational porn-user. I masturbated at least once a week (except during very busy times in college), and I would look at porn a couple times a month (with stretches of time where I wouldn’t look at it at all; to this day I’m not sure if I was addicted, but maybe you all can decide for me).

Everything changed when I somehow stumbled across the TedTalk video and found NoFap. Finding these things gave me the opportunity I needed to step back and reassess my own life. I stood there, a 22-year old man, and said to myself, “I have been regularly masturbating to porn for 8 years, is that okay with me?” I never realized how long I had actually been looking at porn. It was a thing where I would always tell myself it was something I wouldn’t do when I was older. But now that I was older, I never stopped. It was a part of my life, and so was masturbation. I can admit that it is possible that masturbation has some benefits, but masturbating as frequently as I did brought me no good, as I would soon discover. It sounds sick to say now, but porn and masturbation were simply some of my hobbies; I engaged in them regularly, enjoyed them, and didn’t give them another thought. If I didn’t find this subreddit, I would have continued to aimlessly wander through life, lonely and unaffected.

The NoFap Journey

I began my journey by telling myself that masturbation and porn had to go. They were no longer viable ways for me to reach orgasm; the next time I orgasmed (except for wet dreams) was going to be because a real woman made me and not pixels on a screen. I set up an internet filter, and began my journey. As many will attest to, the first few weeks were the hardest. Every day was BonerDay, and I craved a way to get off. I was very lustful for quite some time. After several weeks, things started to change. I never flatlined or had asexual feelings; things just started to feel natural. I still felt sexual, but I felt like I was in control of my sexuality. My sexuality was simply an aspect of me and not some over-consuming flame of lust. I also felt more confident in myself and much more social. I looked people in the eye, stood up straight, and was able to be myself. My anxieties were fading away. NoFap became easy- I remember telling myself “I got this” and felt untouchable. I then relapsed on my 43rd day. I didn’t watch porn, but I masturbated to orgasm, and I felt so ashamed and angry. I didn’t lose what those 43 days had given me, but my relapse brought me to a difficult stage. My streak was over, and I now had to decide whether or not I was willing to give it another go. Now that my badge was back to Day 1, it would have been so easy to masturbate again. I could always start tomorrow, or the next day, or the next… But I resolved to make it to 90 days. I haven’t fapped since that 43rd day, so in the past 139 days, I have only masturbated once. Once I got past about 50 days or so, I was in a state of perfect bliss. My sexuality was healthy, I was confident and in control, and I was connecting with others. These benefits continue to this day. I have met so many people and had so much fun these past few months that I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for being the fool that I was. There was so much more to life that I had failed to see.

The Benefits - Things I’ve Gained, Experienced, and Learned

Before I list some things, there is something I would like to say that some may find interesting. I don’t really believe in the “superpowers;” I think NoFap just helps you become the person you were meant to be. However, it is interesting to note that I used to think that my frequent porn and masturbation use would give me these “superpowers.” I thought that by jerking off to porn, I would have a “been there done that” mentality that would give me confidence and a healthy sexuality. This is why I don’t think that I am experiencing a placebo effect with NoFap. I didn’t expect NoFap to work like it has, and I actually believed that its opposite would give me the benefits that I now enjoy.

-Confidence: My social anxieties have almost completely vanished. I can get up and speak in a room full of people with no difficulty, I can approach all kinds of people without fear, and I am proud of myself as a person and believe that I am someone worth knowing.

-Emotion: I feel like the older and wiser I get the more emotional I become. However, I have noticed myself becoming noticeably more emotional during this journey (but in a good way). I am passionate. I am moved to tears when I see or hear things that are sad or beautiful, and at other times my heart lifts with joy.

-Height: Several people have told me that I look taller. I’m turning 23 next month, so I don’t really think I’m growing anymore. I think I’m just finally standing up straight.

-Strength: I’m a lot stronger than I used to be, and I it has been easier for me to gain muscle. I went through another move recently, and my dad and older brother where shocked by how strong I was. I was usually the weaker one in the group, but I was far stronger than both of them this time, and they noticed. I didn’t even get tired or need to take a break after moving heavy furniture up three flights of stairs all day.

-Deeper Voice: I feel like my voice sounds a little deeper, but I think it’s because I am much more relaxed when I talk to people (I don’t think there’s some hormonal change giving me a deep voice)

-A Real Relationship: I am happy to report that during my NoFap journey I went on several dates, had my first kiss, had my first make out session, got my first girlfriend ever, lost my virginity with her, and received my first blowjob. We celebrate our 2-month anniversary tomorrow haha.

-Stronger Erections: Pretty self explanatory.

-Bigger size: I’ve always considered myself as a “grower” rather than a “shower,” but I have noticed that I am now a “shower.” Now that I’m not jerking off every day, my penis is bigger while it’s just hanging there. It’s not that important, but it’s kinda cool haha. My penis also seems bigger in general (i.e. when I’m erect). I don’t know if it actually is bigger, but it sure looks like it to me. I think I’m too old for it to still be growing, so maybe it’s just because my erection are stronger, or maybe it’s because I am just more confident about myself.

-More outgoing: I’ve always been an introvert (and would still say that I am and am proud to be one), but I find myself desiring social interactions much more than I used to. I like being with other people, and before I started NoFap, I considered myself as a bit of a misanthrope.

-Greater focus: It is so much easier for me to concentrate since I started NoFap. I’ve always had a lot of success in school and college, but my mind was often pretty foggy. Everything feels so much more clear now.

-Greater motivation and work-ethic: I have a lot of goals and dreams, and I feel more willing and able to pursue them now.

-Good Lord, our World is Sexual: Seriously. Our media is so sexualized. TV shows, movies, advertisements; it’s a bit ridiculous at times. I know that sex sells, and that we are animals and sex is our essential biological function, but can we rise above this? There’s more to our world than sex.

There’s probably other things, but that’s all I got for now :)

Tips

I met my goal of 90 days, so here is what worked for me.

1. Porn and Masturbation is no longer an option – No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You DO NOT do either of these things anymore. Tell yourself that you have to find other ways to find pleasure.

2. Install an internet filter – Just do it. Like I said earlier, sex is everywhere, so temptation, therefore, is everywhere as well. Make it easy on yourself and just block anything that you would fap to. Even if you think you have the willpower to abstain from porn, having a filter is a conscious way of telling yourself that you’re not looking at porn anymore.

3. Discover Yourself - This is a pretty broad topic, but I would encourage others to look within themselves and discover who they really are and what they really like. I think we masturbate and look at porn so much because it is the quickest way to experience a good deal of pleasure. But there are so many other, more satisfying ways of pleasuring yourself. For me, I have always been passionate about reading. Ever since I was a little boy, I have loved to read, and somewhere along the line I stopped doing what I love. Now that I don’t masturbate or look at porn anymore, I have more time to do the things I truly love.

4.Discover the World- Just get out there. Think about what you want to do, and do it. The world is open to you as long as you have the courage and drive to meet it head on.

I hope some of you find my ramblings beneficial. I wrote this because I wanted to reflect on my experience and share what I went through with the community that has helped me so much. I reached 90 Days, but I have no plans of stopping. If anyone has any questions, please ask. I am an open book, and I’m sure there are some things that I didn’t explain clearly enough.

Stay strong, fellow Fapstronauts :)

LINK - 90-Days Complete :)

by gonewiththefap