Age 23 - 90 days: "A good day to be alive"

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tigerThis is my second attempt at nofap and I am very proud of resisting the urges. The first attempt lasted 6 days and then I did not try it again for several months as I managed to convince myself that it was not necessary. I was wrong.

I am a 23 year old Indian male living in the UK. Before I started nofap I had no desire to do anything apart from sit at my computer, watch TV shows, play games and jerk my gherkin. Friends would ask me to go do something with them but I would always find an excuse to not go out. Masturbating was my hobby, I was really good at it and always came first but it was detrimental and I needed to find new ones.

My brain is a lazy piece of shit. My whole life I have always taken the way that takes the least amount of effort. It was not worth the effort to go out for a few hours, try to talk to a few girls, face rejection a few times and spend a fair amount of money when I could just stay in my house and get the temporary pleasure of masturbation.

As a result of this, I begun losing my friends as they started to feel that I didn't want to spend time with them, which to be honest I didn't. This was the first thing that made me realise I had a problem. I also realised that I knew the names of more pornstars than real women my age, which frankly disgusted me.

So I stopped looking at all porn (deleted my downloaded stash after 7 days, was pretty disturbed at how attached to it I had become) and stopped fapping. As I'm sure I don't have to tell you guys, the first week or two was very difficult but I kept on going.

At this point I realised that nofap was the most important thing I was doing, which should not happen. It shouldn't be all about not doing one thing, but being able to do something else. As a result I signed up to an improv comedy course (think along the lines of "whose line is it anyway"). This was partly because I really enjoy watching improv and also because one of the key rules is to always say "YES" which is a problem I had in the past. The class went really well, we had some great performances and I met awesome new people.

However, I still wasn't feeling any of the effects of nofap. No "superpowers", no flatline and no more desire to leave my bedroom. I thought it wasn't going to work. But it all started changing at around day 70.

I had a two "night-time emmissions" in the second month which seems to be pretty normal but then after 60 days I suddenly had five in a single week. Including two in the same night and one on a plane (worst mile high club ever). But this seems to have paved the way for the changes that I am currently feeling:

  • I don't feel bound to my computer any more, if people ask me to go somewhere with them I just say yes and I've had some great experiences already.
  • My emotions last longer, before nofap if something made me happy I would only feel it for a few minutes and then back to a baseline of nothing. Now if something happy I can feel it coursing through me for a couple of hours.
  • I look in a mirror and am happy with what I see. I don't know what causes this but before I would always shy away from mirrors but the other day I even started flexing which made me laugh heartily after I realised what I was doing. I have started doing the hundred pushups challenge which might be contributing to my sudden vanity.
  • I have started fantasising about romance rather than sex.
  • I have just started being happy randomly throughout the day. I was walking to the station the other day and just became filled with joy and said to myself "Today is a good day to be alive" which I don't think I've ever said before, out loud or not.

I'm starting to feel that I am going through the mental part of puberty for the first time.

Your brain on porn says that some people can take up to 150 days to feel the benefits of nofap and since I only started feeling them recently and still have had no flatline, this is my new target.

TL;DR It took a long time for the effects of nofap to arrive, but they eventually came because I didn't.

LINK - 90 Day Report : Today is a good day to be alive

by Gronque

Comments

Hey man, I am an Indian guy too in Canada. I too am 23 years old, an engineering student :P . I have been going through exactly similar situations. I was soo extroverted, really loving company of people, loving going out. Now, in the past 1-2 years, I have been severely depressed (specially last 6 months). I would spend a lot of time alone wathing porn and fapping. In the end, it leads to anger, guilt, self-loathing, lack of confidence. As I write, this is my 3rd day only. I thought since we are so similar in our positions and stuff, it might help to talk with each other, even though maybe you don't need my advice :( but maybe I could benefit a bit from yours.
I also understand you might not be very willing to discuss things with me, but I can assure you there is nothing to be shameful about, I have told my story openly and perhaps I should be more shameful than you (just in case) . I would be glad if you could write me a hello on neeraj0510@gmail.com . We can talk a bit.

which means that bhe will not respond. Click on the link at the end of the post and it will take you to his original post on reddit. You can PM him from there.