Age 23 - 90 days: I started as a personal challenge

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Here is my story and opinions in order to give back because this community has given so much to me. It's really long but I have to spill today to feel like the community can learn.

Background: I'm 23 and have been using P since 10 and MO since 12 and PMO since 16 pretty regularly, on average M every day wit PM several times a week. Some P bingeing was involved..Looking back, it was indeed getting darker occasionally. I didn't think that I had any sort of issue until I got to this community. Also, I have always had at least okay luck with girls, have relatively solid confidence, and a relatively successful life. These three things I think makes my story dramatically different than most upvoted stories in the subreddit.

Story: I started as a personal challenge. After researching this subreddit and other places online, I realized P really does desensitize you not only to real S but also do everything else in life. It's simple, your brain has a relatively stable amount of "feel good" chemicals, like dopamine, adrenaline, etc. (that actually slowly decrease over time), so if you release 1/2 of your day's worth every time you fap, you will have not much left for the rest of your life. If you quit fapping, the first few days/weeks may be only giving you 1/2 of what you are used to, but eventually it all starts to come back and gets released during your day's small routines like driving, sports, talking with other people, everything. This same concept applies to smoking marijuana, other drugs, intense video gaming, etc.. You choose when you release your field good chemicals so why not choose to release them during things that are improving your life? Like meeting/talking with new people, working out, work, school, etc. You will increase performance in all of those areas if you are more happy/enjoying the small things when doing them. You and other people will notice. It opens all kinds of doors.

Hypothesis: This journey is going to suck but superpowers will be cool. Most of the community members's benefits are based on placebo affects or them just making the right decisions for themselves for the first time in their lives and nofap is helping them do that but the superpowers are not from nofap. Therefore the more of a shithead you are, the more nofap will help you.

Data: I decided to play soft mode because I am probably addicted to S and could not stand for any reason not to have it, if presented to me.

First try: It was so hard nights 2 through 6 and somehow I lasted 7 days. However on day 5 I went in to desperation mode to release and then invited over a subpar girl from months earlier to come over night 6 and I unloaded potentially my largest load ever on to her face and she was laughing because it was so much. The next night I fapped. This meant to me that any S relations could be triggers the next day. Try 2: I added the tracker to my nofap account. This may sound lame, but that was potentially the number one reason I didn't relapse. I kind of forgot how to go update your day tracker and I really didnt want to have to go change it to day 1. So I just stuck it out till 90. Again, days 2ish-10 were absolutely difficult every night. It peaked in the 7-10 range. Morning wood became standard. And the walk from y bed to my shower was rough (always is though). Some days were easier after that. I had S with a chick on day 12. Around day 25-30 I finally had days/nights that fapping did not cross my mind. I did not release again until an HJ 22 days later, my longest ever. Only an HJ because it was her time of the month. Next day she said she was down but I refrained from it for probably the first time in my life. I didn't need it. On average, about once every other week after that I had either S, an HJ, or a BJ from one of 6 girls. Only 1 of those girls was new to this time frame though. It's been a good streak. Part of this streak is because I needed it. I have lowered my standards in order to get a release. I think I used to always go for better girls and used fapping as my auxiliary weapon. Now, I go for better girls but use the subpar previous girls as my auxiliary for release. After writing this out, it seems like I have become less considerate in this area towards women. The day after release has always been difficult for me. Its like I need more like an animal, and 7ish days after release is also tough. But less bad over time. Around day 50 is when I think my body became at peace with THE change and I stopped waking up with morning wood or feeling any need to fap or to fantasize. My body went in to a less sexual state I think. This may be my form of flatlining but I may not have had one really. Around day 60 I got a pseudo HJ/I had to finish it from a chick that I actually like. Typically would not even be able to release from this. I used to only be able to release from rough doggystyle sex. In fact for all 90 days, the release came with ease no matter what type of stimulation. This was very new for me. Great benefit. Every day closer to 90 was easier and easier. . Similar to that book Holes. First day is the hardest.. then second. then every day till in reality after 7-10 it starts to get easier but it still kinda sucks sometimes. In the 70's and 80's my balls would occasionally hurt. Night 89 was the hardest night since day 7. Sometimes I would fantasize just a little to release a little mental pressure (not recommended to the average nofapper for the following reason), but this time, it was out of control. It was centered around a girl I actually have feelings for. It somehow reverted to ex-gf's and ideas began streaming through my head. I could not get to sleep. Couldn't get to sleep for no reason (I even ran 4 miles that evening!), it was like the first week all over. Except also my balls were hurting. Day 90 was easy and somewhat anticlimactic. Day 91, balls hurting even at work, went for subpar for BJ. Day 92, my balls are literally hurting as I'm writing this. Not sure what is going on.

Results: 7 days on first try. 90+ days on second try. Superpowers: never got them. Theories: I think I already knew how to access a level of confidence/skills so there was no change at all for me in any areas. At first, I was trying to notice more girls noticing me/better conversations with random women. I did notice. But I realized later that this is just because I was trying to notice these things. It ended up being no more than usual (limited) when I stopped putting myself out there so much around day 50 to talk to random girls. Body/working out: Stayed about the same, I think I have lost a few pounds. I did have more motivation to workout to keep my mind off fapping but I think the majority of motivation to workout comes from somewhere else within, which I've had since I was 15. Maybe I need to find more motivation elsewhere? Success with girls: stayed about the same as previously. I actually lowered my standards which I hate doing. But it may be a good thing. Gotta start somewhere. But no success with new girls except one but no S from her. Work: My work performance may have improved. I think the desire to work hard comes from somewhere else as well. Self Confidence: A little higher. This seems to be the only area of higher, which may eventually affect all of the others but has no so far. I am so proud of myself that I was able to make it to 90 days. I thought 90 was absolutely insane, same with 30. So accomplishing this is an amazing feat. The additional confidence comes from the idea that now I can accomplish ANY goal. With M and desire for S having such a big weight in my life, by being able to complete the 90-day challenge means I can accomplish many things I never thought I could do. It completely opened up my limits for myself. I feel like I can do anything that lots of other people can do now where as before, I thought maybe I could only do some of those things. ED/other: I can release from any stimulation now instead of practically one position. Not sure if this is a physical change because I am full or mental attraction changes.

Conclusion: I feel like I did a 90 Day challenge for alcoholics to quit drinking but I am not an alcoholic. Based on my results, I think nofap has not given me anything but an increased confidence in my ability to do everything/anything. I have a stronger a mental state for any such challenge now. 90 days went by slow sometimes but I AM here now. So it begs the question, where can I be in another 90 days? or 1000 days? I think that nofap does not have any built in benefits or superpowers. I may have cured my issue with only being able to release in certain ways. My ex gf helped cure this also though so I can't give nofap all the credit. Nofap benefits are all about what you do with your additional time and energy. And yes there is more energy. If you can convert your sexual energy in to something positive, that is key. It is easy at first to focus on converting it to something that will one day get you better girls or sex but eventually that energy becomes something that you can use to better develop yourself overall, for yourself. So I think when people say they have superpowers they are just desiring have them and subconsciously fake them (these type would be followed by a subconsciously self-induced flat line to balance out those people) or they really are actually receiving them from the additional lifestyle changes and confidence boosts. It can be a snowball effect in a positive way if you let it, and then it seems like superpowers just from nofap I guess. For me though, not much has changed in my life. Overall nofap has taught me a lot about life but not what I was hoping for. I will try to stay away for P for the rest of my eternity though. Fantasizing to that extent is not acceptable in any other faucet of my life so why let it be for that one? Its ridiculous looking back and seeing how big of a waste PMO is.

Future and Additional Thoughts: I was planning on fapping on day 90, then 91. But it has not happened. I will probably fap soon but I am not looking forward to feeling wasteful and bad about it afterward like so many nofapstronauts speak of. I am also curious to see what the community thinks overall. I feel like fapping is a healthy thing that humans have been doing for millions of years. Of course, too much of anything, including WATER, is bad though (stole that quote from coca-cola or McDonalds PR dept). Balance in life is key. P however, is not real. It is absolutely fake and can only be negative. I realized early on in the challenge, after research, how disturbing it is to the way you view women in your life and the way you treat them. I may never be cured from it. There is nothing good from it except teasing yourself and giving you ideas for crazy positions. Its MUCH more fun to go out and make real life P with 5's, 6's, 7's, and 8's vs watching 7's 8's 9' and 10's on a screen. However, every second you spend watching P is one that you will never get back that you could have used to catch up on sleep, improve your grades or career, improve your body, relationships with gf, family or friends, etc. These are things that will all give back to you kind of, and P never will. It is not your friend. It can only take from you and change you for the worse. Seems kind of evil describing it. In order for me to finally let go of P, I am admitting that I respect some the P industry and I will certainly miss some of the women. They probably don't know the damage they do to vasts amount people for their own gain though. I think fapping will rob you of your energy. So if I do get back in to it, I will never plan on doing it or make it a major part of my life. More as a health/anti-desperation act.

Lessons for Success: Never tempt yourself with any sort of P, whether it be online advertising, celebrity gossip, sneak peaking at anything, articles, etc. Movies were my only exception but always remain in control. Control is a very slippery slope in this game and the further you tilt the seesaw, the harder and harder it is to go back. Do not let your mind wander if you are in your fapping environment. It's also comparable to bouncing a huge rubber workout ball on a jog when you are indian trail running with Gimli, Legolus, and Aragorn on that mountain range peak between the first and second movie. Dont play games with yourself you cant win. Environment and thoughts are the variables you must control. Either one at a time will do and eventually you will control both at all times. The further along in time you get the easier though. Environment is very important. If you are sitting at home alone by your computer all the time, you are more likely to fap. If you are moving around a lot, going out of house, at work, working out, etc., you are less likely to fap. It has encouraged me to run more and join other things, like a bowling league. If you are having urges, get up, throw shorts and running shoes on and run a lap or two around your neighborhood. Time of day does not matter here. It seems hard/unreasonable the first couple times but after you do it, you ALWAYS feel better about yourself and get those adrenaline/feel good chemicals running through your brain. You absolutely MUST pick up new hobbies in a separate area than your fap environment. These will definitely improve your life and your ability to meet more people as well. I never tried the cold shower thing but apparently it helps people. Get a tracker to count your days. Never give up. MVP tip: Waste time on nofap in step of other websites.

LINK - Giving Back: My 90 Day Report.

by nasax09