Age 24 - ED & brain fog gone, happier, more productive, less anxious & selfish
Hi all, I'm just dropping into write my 83 day report, funnily I missed my 60 day report because I was too busy at the time just cracking on with things to really notice. However I understand the importance of sharing knowledge on a subject such as this,
and hope that this report will serve more as 'encouragement' and 'Knowledge enhancing' than a 'WOOO, look at me' (Though admittedly that is fun too) report.
I'll try to correspond to those that post here, however I do apologise in advance as I'm currently serving so my time is quite busy at the moment.
Lets get down to brass-tacks, I'm a 24 year guy, currently doing hard mode, my motivation to do No Fap was primarily because one day I woke up and i felt personally there's got to be more to my life that this, I have so much more potential that what I'm currently feeling.
My memory took me back to when i was younger and back then it would appear that i was quite intelligent and i had a bright future ahead of myself when i would be older. Sadly this started to fade when i got older, however i will explain this as this report progresses. My use of pornography began when i was very young, i believe it was around the age of 10 that i stumbled across some X-rated pornography Vhs tapes and did the obvious. this trend continued on till my teens.
I obviously placed a lot of the negatives that were happening to me on just being a teenager and the hormones I was having at the time. (incredibly shy, unable to look people in the eye, Actually very afraid of public spaces and people, as a result I was a social recluse for much of my teenage years, this continued pretty much up until the present, around about the age of 13 I developed ED, this was an obvious knock to my self esteem, this led to me not being able to pursue the opposite sex in relationships as i was genuinely afraid I would let them down. As i grew older as I'm sure a lot of people have here, i continued to use the internet to access pornography, and the downward cycle continued.
Lets skip to the present, the good parts are surely to follow soon about 2 years ago, i started a relationship with a girl. despite the lies that i would tell my friends and colleges this was my second relationship and my first 'Real Relationship. I had persured a relationship earlier during my uk college years, but my naiety and the fact that my brain had hardwired itself to seek just sex, lead to a pretty unhealthy relationship.
Unfortnately my second relationship was a short lived experience only lasting a year, but i was able to use the information i gathered during that time to create the impetus for change. I learned from her that on an 'Emotional level' i was unable to connect with her as a person, of course this is a deeply important thing in a relationship, she also mentioned that alot of the time my eyes appeared as though i wasn't in, or i was pre-occupied, it was also said that i didn't listen, that was the obvious hairtrigger that lead to break up of a relationship. As well as these things, i was feeling inadequate as a sexual partner. A year or so ago I found about no fap, and Gary Wilson's YBOP. I failed many times before my current streak. There are no superpowers just the old you comming back for avengence.
Here are some of the benifits i experienced:
- More happier, I am able to smile at everyone, i feel as though i am more pleasent person to be around than the gloomy, misanthophist i was 5 months ago. (Not to say that you will always be happy, during this streak i have had the odd few days of feeling utterly terrible, but these become less and less.)
- I am able to communicate more effectively, i no longer stutter like i used too, words which i need to say simply pop into my head, as opposed to getting to a point in a covosation and forgetting everything that i was thinking there an then. my messages get across.
- I am more energetic, i have more omph for the gym and i get in there and do my thing so much more easier than i used too. I recently dropped my 5km time down from 28 to 23 in about a month, thats the lowest i've ever gotten it. I can also stay up longer with no fap, i no longer feel utterly shattered after a nightshift.
- I'm more productive, and getting things done more than i have before. i am currently organising two things at the same time with work, and i'm able to get things done. i don't procrastinate anymore, i have goals. I also get alot more work done.
- I have more rapport with other human beings, i'm able to make good eye contact with people and have more in depth convosations with people, as a result of this my social circle and the amount of people that i speak too on a daily basis has grown quite abit, this has always been a stumbling block for myself.
- Music sounds alot better, entertainment, well it entertains me now. i used to feel pretty dull to things like sports, music and books, now everything is easier to enjoy or too laugh at. This is a pretty big thing to finally leave the goldfish bowl.
- I'm less self-fish. I genuniely feel more empathy and feel as though it is more about other people. In the past i was quite selfish and made alot of things about myself. I'm able to ask people how they feel and empatise with them more.
- More girl attention, This is hard to confirm but i do notice now that the opposite sex are more friendly to me, i can't quite say for sure as i'm currently deployed but on a previous streak i experienced girls chatting about me on a night out, it was a nice feeling. I'm interested to see how this streak plays out.
- Spirtiually Grounded- I'm no longer into athiest ideals, instead i have reconnected with my faith (church of england) and instead i feel as though i am intelligent enough to attempt to comprehend both ideas. I try to emcompass and understand everyones beliefs rather than have a narrow view. I tend to go to chuch more, and i find that despite being not the most pious human being, i feel more centred because i commit myself to understanding everyone. I have a more positive outlook. I'm also intersted in Buddism, if anyone could advise me a good book on this i would very much appreciate it.
- I am less anixous and i panic less, I just crack on and deal with things most days. there are days where i have lost my shit, but there are becomming once in a blue moon affairs.
- My body is a lot slimmer, theres less of that little voice in the back of my head shouting at me to get the fattest nastiest food in my system, i'm eating less sugary treats and i feel fuller for longer on less food, this has let me drop my weight from 106 down to 100kg in two months. it is a hot country.
- I think quicker and i am able to comprehend ideas far more quickly than i have in the past. There is less blank face and my general look of being 'lost in space'.
- I can't quite comment on my sexual activity as i am deployed so that is illegal currently. However everything 'down there' is far more sensitive and i imagine if i had female company things would perhaps work, though i couldn't give an absolute answer to this. I have been having very hard morning wood for the past week, which is an indicator that i am on my way to being cured of my ED, I am off on RnR, and i will be atempting to use my new found charisma to find myself a lovely someone on my travels around europe haha!, more news next report!
My apologies if i have gone on and on, i hope this is able to help you, and i have made this less about myself as possible. My view on No Fap is that, superpowers don't exsist, but the small changes that come about from not pelting your brain with dopamine every 5 minutes everyday is a very real thing and you will feel them, if very slowly. It has been worth it for me and i'm looking forward to what comes next, hopefully i will be cured! (And you too)
All the best with your quest for better, thank for for reading :)
Its been a pleasure and an honour to part of a comunity that so openly wants to help other people improve their lives.
Tomorrow will be 100 days of no fap, having failed a multitude of times prior to this streak i could never comprehend reaching this stage of the game, but trust me it's worth it. I won't bore anyone with a large report and i'll keep it brief, i also have a few questions for on longer streaks than myself.
A lots happened, i feel a lot more confident and happy in my work, i am more calm and collected around both sexes, its very easy to make small talk and inject humour into everyday convosations. I'm no longer a zombie.
I organised a trip yesterday at work and drove through one of the busiest cities in the middle east, sure i was a little late reaching the destination. But i would never have gotten there, or even tried this pre no fap, i would have made and excuse and not had the bravery to crack on and do it, and that makes all the difference to me.
I'm currently organising a big social event for work, my drive feels endless, and my determination which at a young age was a 'corner stone' quality in my personality has been restored. 100 days ago i would have never done this either.
I feel like i want go out and meet girls, and i'm feeling awfully flirty of recent, and need to unleash my new found charm somehow, i'm looking forward to meeting some one new and perhaps pursuing a relationship (a healthy one). (Once i finish this deployment) This is a new feeling after years of apathy.
Thats it :) hope this has encouraged you, keep going its worth it :) Also thanks for this great community! There is so much love and support here and that too makes me happy!
Questions for experienced no fappers!:
How long did it take for your ED to 'cure' for example, seeing a beautiful lass and feeling aroused by it? Have regular morning woods now but otherwise not much seen in that dept.
Any advice on how to flirt with girls? Websites references or books?
Whats your longest streak and how does it feel?
Thank you :)
LINK - 99 days :) [hardcore mode]