Age 24 - ED & reduced sensitivity, Numbed emotions
It’s definitely a proud moment to be sitting here writing my 90 day report. I wasn’t sure whether I would ever be able to do it when I discovered the movement in the summer of 2013. I strung together a couple of streaks on my initial attempts. First a week, then two, and then three and a half, but I would always end up succumbing on weekends when I was drunk. It just occurred to me that there are quite a few observations I want to make so I’ll split it up into a couple sections. Before that, however, here’s my info: 24 year old male, habitual masturbation to porn since I was thirteen, 1-5 times a day for over ten years. Had some experience with porn-induced ED and greatly reduced sensitivity. I also used masturbation to porn as an emotional outlet, especially in the last couple of years. Probably the most fucked up thing my habit ever did to me is when I was in high school I would have to imagine other girls while I was fucking my smoking hot girlfriend. It really damaged my relationship. I also couldn’t get it up for a few perfectly respectable girls in the past few years. I wasn’t as fucked up as some of the insane stuff I’ve read on this subreddit but I definitely had the tell-tale signs of my ‘brain on porn.’ With respect to my journey, apart from three or four wet dreams and a handjob on day 83 (which I came from... thanks NoFap), I did not orgasm over these 90 days, nor did I masturbate. I also did not view porn for 90 days. And I fucking loved porn. That’s right… Legitimate 90 days of hard mode (my badge says 88 for some reason but it’s actually 90). I am a beast.
I’m going to start with some of the things you often see in this community that are, in my opinion, totally false. You’re going to see quite a bit of stupid bullshit in this community in my opinion. I’m genuinely sickened by some of the sanctimonious attitudes in this community toward masturbation. The main thing I would say is pure nonsense is that masturbation is somehow evil or bad for you. That’s definitely not true in my experience. Excessive masturbation is bad for you, as with anything else. I’m a big believer in ‘everything in moderation.’ If you’re not regularly having sex and totally abstaining from orgasm, that’s your choice, but I think you’re fucking insane. And don’t tell me some bullshit about how masturbating once in a while makes me a lesser person. It doesn’t. You’re NOT morally better than someone because you don’t masturbate. Period.
Secondly, NoFap will not turn you into a pimp. It will probably help you a bit by massively increasing your motivation, but it’s not a make or break thing. There are guys I know who pimp it HARD and masturbate to porn every single day. As I said, it’ll help you a bit and I agree that more chicks check you out when you’re on NoFap, but does that mean you’re going to automatically go up to them, talk to them, turn them on, establish rapport, etc? No, it doesn’t. That is a skillset that you have to learn and abstaining from masturbation and porn isn’t going to magically make it happen for you. If you’re in this strictly to get girls I think you’re making a mistake and should look elsewhere. I’m not saying these stories of guys magically starting to crush it when they’re on NoFap are false, but in my experience I have had to WORK for every single improvement in that area of my life, and abstaining from touching my dick and watching porn is not how I did it.
Why NoFap is Worthwhile
Firstly, I will concede that porn is bad for you. I already mentioned what it did to me at my worst. It’s truly sickening that I had to do that because my girlfriend was very beautiful and she deserved a lot better than that. As a side note, if I ever find myself in another long term relationship, I will abstain from masturbation and porn entirely. I definitely agree with the proposition that porn fucks with your perception of women. I got a lot of poisonous shit out of my brain on this journey and it’s nice to get turned on by the thought of regular sex as well as way more subtle things, like a girl’s hair. My standards have gone way down and I can find something to appreciate in most women now. I’ve really enjoyed that aspect of the journey and it is why I plan to quit porn entirely.
Self-control. It has improved dramatically since I started NoFap. I’m eating better. I kicked a very difficult marijuana addiction that I’ve had for over six years during these 90 days. I also drank coke every day for way too fucking long. Pretty much my whole life. I went 70 days without it and I’m currently on two weeks without it. That addiction is gone too. I’m still trying to get off cigarettes but I only smoke when I’m drunk now. I hit the gym almost every day. I meditate. I read books. I’m way more fucking proactive about shit and it’s attributable to NoFap because you have to get out and do things in order to avoid masturbation. It’d be stupid as well as extremely difficult to complete this challenge without changing other aspects of your lifestyle. Self control is definitely a big one and I’ve really appreciated what NoFap has taught me about the power of my own mind.
Getting in touch with my emotions. This is a big one. I used to retreat into marijuana and masturbation in order to avoid dealing with my issues. I was emotionally disconnected and alienated and depressed. I’m currently the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s not strictly attributable to NoFap, because I’ve taken action in a lot of other areas in my life too, but NoFap forces you to deal with your emotions. There’s no running from them anymore. If you do this challenge, you will have insane mood swings. I’d go from utterly depressed to the happiest I’ve ever been in the space of half an hour. Shit was crazy. But it’s so much better to feel like this and let it fucking flow through instead of retreating into masturbation. Sometimes when I’m walking home from work I’ll stop and look at the trees and appreciate life in a way I never have before. I cry during movies. I feel a much stronger emotional connection to the people and events around me. This is a really solid benefit in my opinion.
This is all I can think of for now, but if you have any questions about my experience I’d be happy to answer them. On the whole I’d say NoFap is worthwhile. Definitely not because of this stupid ‘superpowers’ bullshit, but because it makes you into more of a man. It teaches you about discipline and dealing with your emotions. It pushes your self control to unheard of heights. It was an extremely proud moment in my life on Day 36 or so, when my ‘superpowers’ were long gone and all I had was my suffering and seemingly endless amounts of time left in my challenge, sitting on the couch literally SHAKING because I wanted to masturbate so badly. But I didn’t fucking do it. I held strong. NoFap is something every man should do in my opinion, NOT AS A LIFESTYLE, but as a challenge. Personally the lifestyle I plan to adopt now is to masturbate once a week without porn to give myself a release and in order to take advantage of the massive testosterone boost that happens in the first week but then goes away. I’m not going to lie though, tomorrow I’m binging on masturbation and porn hard. Don’t try to stop me. I’m fucking doing it. And then on Monday I’ll be right back on the wagon implementing my new lifestyle. NoFap has made me want to push myself in other areas of my life and really see how far I can take my own self development. It’s been a long and difficult journey but extremely worthwhile. To all of you out there struggling, know that no one is cut from a different cloth than you, and what one man can accomplish any man can accomplish. All it takes is hard work and discipline. Good luck to you all. Thanks for supporting me on my journey.
EDIT --- To those of you pontificating on my decision to use porn for ONE FUCKING DAY and then never again... Seriously, just stop it. If that's what you're going to post, please refrain. I don't care and I'm not listening to you. I leave you with a timeless quote from a not-so-wise but talented man... Kanye West: "Let up the suicide doors, this is my life homie you decide yours."
Thanks again for all your support.
LINK - 90 Day Report